Date: January 9, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It feels like it’s been forever since TNA had a PPV. Tonight’s main event is a #1 contenders match with Anderson facing Morgan for a future shot at Hardy. Other than that there isn’t a ton happening. The card looks decent but the issue I see coming is that after it happens, I’m not sure if there’s anything worth seeing. Maybe the matches will be good as TNA PPVs can be. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is all about Morgan vs. Anderson which more or less explains that it’s a one match show if there ever has been one.
X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal
Hey look the X Title is opening the show again! It’s new! It’s exciting! It’s exactly what was expected! They start before the bell rings and Lethal hits a rana and rams in right hands. To be fair a fast paced match is a good way to get a crowd going so I can’t make too much fun of it. Lethal gets a dive to the floor and hits a moonsault to the floor to continue establishing his dominance.
Kaz takes over again and we chop it out. Things speed up somewhat with Lethal taking over after a series of counters. I’m surprised Kaz is moving this fast as he hasn’t done that much recently. Kaz takes over again as this has been very back and forth. It’s the first internet broadcast for TNA also. Lethal gets the handspring elbow to put both guys down.
This is personal of course. Has there ever been a professional fight in professional wrestling? In a very cool spot Lethal was on the apron and Kaz pulled him in using the ropes but moved over in a split second to catch Lethal in a cutter. Flux Capacitor is blocked into a sunset bomb by Lethal for two. Good stuff so far. Apparently Kaz is in trouble if he doesn’t get the title here.
Reverse tombstone is blocked as Kaz rolls through. Kaz gets a slingshot DDT for a close two. He slaps Lethal to fire him up so Jay rifles off chops to the chest. Where else would they go I guess. Lethal sets for the top rope elbow but gets caught by a running enziguri. When did that become the most popular move in the world as everyone seems to use it anymore. Kaz can’t get the reverse tombstone off the top but gets it a few seconds later in the ring for the pin and his fourth X Title.
Rating: B-. Pretty decent match here but this wasn’t much of a surprise at all. I really hope they don’t go with the Immortal domination tonight though. This was a fun match and definitely got the crowd into it. I have a bad feeling though that this will be the high point of the card which certainly isn’t a good thing. Still though, at least we got a good match out of the opener.
To the back and….AJ can’t wrestle tonight. Oh great. The ONE guaranteed good match we had tonight is off. He’s out for six to eight weeks. Oh sweet merciful crap.
We recap Mickie vs. Madison which is based off of Tara vs. Mickie which was the setup for this.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne
Mickie is still insanely sexy. Madison is doing the whole classy chick gimmick thing again after debuting it a few days ago. Or was it ten days ago? Does it really matter? Madison runs away to start but gets caught in an armdrag for two. All Mickie to start of course as Madison shrieks. Madison runs as Tazz makes sex jokes.
The fans say Madison can’t wrestle. I’m so fed up with them it’s unreal. Madison uses the ropes to get two in the corner. This is about as uninteresting as it could be but they’re both hot so that helps a lot. Rana out of the corner by Mickie drops the champion on her head. Since it’s TNA we change camera angles every 9 seconds.
Cravate by Madison as we’re killing time now. There’s a chinlock as this is going way too long, nearly at 9 minutes now. Mickie gets a nice counter and a rollup for two. Boot to the head gets two for Madison. Champ tries the head bounce thing she does but Mickie counters into a wheelbarrow slam for two. DDT is reversed and Madison gets spanked.
Thesz Press gets no cover. Mickie sets for the DDT but here’s Tara because she and Mickie haven’t spent enough time together already. Madison plays possum and loads up her arm with something to get the pin to retain the title. For the love of crap get the title off of her already.
Rating: D. This got nearly 14 minutes. Do I need to explain to you why this was a bad idea? It wasn’t any good for the most part as Mickie dominated the whole time. I’m bored out of my mind with Madison and her reign as she does nothing interesting while Mickie and Tara are definitely the best girls on the roster. But hey let’s keep pushing through with the same thing the whole time right? Bad match.
Immortal celebrates and Bischoff says that Abyss fights Williams. That more or less seals Matt freaking Hardy as RVD’s opponent doesn’t it? Sweet goodness.
Recap of Beer Money vs. the Guns. Match will be fun but it’s the same feud that went on forever.
Tag Titles: Motor City Machineguns vs. Beer Money
Shelley vs. Roode to start us off here. The announcers try to play up the difference in styles here which is there but it’s pretty clear they’re trying to come up with a way to make this fresh. The fans chant for the Guns. They go back and forth with some nice technical stuff before the Guns unleash the kicks to take over on Roode. Off to Storm who is sent to the floor.
Stereo suicide dives (missed by the cameras) take down Beer Money as this has been one sided for the most part. Shelley misses a double stomp so he kicks Storm in the stomach instead. A big old clothesline gives Beer Money the advantage as the beating is on. Shelley fights Storm off and hits Sliced Bread #2 to…not get the tag as Roode comes in.
That helps a lot as the hot tag would have been ice cold there. Yeah I know how stupid that sounded. They’re going with the formula here and that’s fine for this case. Shelley can’t get out as Storm comes back in. BEER! MONEY! GETS THE CROWD BEHIND THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE HEELS BUT THEY NEED A SIGNATURE THING BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WRESTLERS HAVE TO DO! If they can chant that I’ll give them all ham sandwiches.
Sabin drills Storm on the floor and there’s the tag. Hesitation dropkick to Roode in the Tree of Woe gets two. Rana by Sabin takes Roode down. Slick double team move by the Guns to set up a tornado DDT for two. Everyone is in now as it all breaks down again. Shelley gets a double stomp on Roode for two.
Backstabber and an enziguri gets rid of Shelley and Storm respectively. There’s the beer spit into the spinebuster for a long two as this is getting very good very fast. Pescado takes out Storm and Roode is in big trouble. Skull and Bones hit but Storm pulls the referee out. Somehow that’s not a DQ as Sabin gets caught in a Northern Lights Suplex on a counter to the tornado DDT. DWI gets two on Sabin. And then the Guns miscommunicate so Roode can roll up Shelley to end the title reign.
Rating: A-. Another great match from these guys which is likely going to be the match of the night so far. I don’t have an issue with the Guns losing here as they held the titles for the better part of ever, but can we PLEASE get some fresh blood in this division so we can have a fresh matchup? Yes this is great, but we’ve seen what, 7 matches between them in a few months? Give us something new before this gets stale.
D-Von says he’s going to win and invokes the holy Bingo Hall. Oh I don’t want to watch this. Like, at all.
Recap video says the story of it which is boring and hasn’t set up anything interesting at all in it.
Bully Ray vs. Brother D-Von
They can’t just call him D-Von? Ray pulls Val up to hide as D-Von comes at him on the ramp. Val slaps him and the fight is on. They slug it out on the floor to start with D-Von dominating. They brawl for three or four minutes and then we get a bell. Dang it they have even more time to waste here. Ray begs off from D-Von and can’t hit his low blow.
Thesz Press leads to punches by D-Von. Back to the floor again as they’re thankfully not trying to make this a match. They’re up in the stands now as somehow this isn’t a countout yet. A fan throws what looks like a shoe to D-Von. Ok then. Back to the ring and Bubba finally takes over. Ray is busted. He slaps D-Von in the corner and then runs when D-Von Dudleys Up.
Bubba misses an elbow as I try to think of what I’d trade to not have to watch this. Bubba Bomb doesn’t work and D-Von gets two. LOUD chops by Bubba in the corner set up a suplex off the middle rope for a long two. Ray picks up a chain from nowhere in particular. D-Von stops it and picks up the chain and whips Bubba for the DQ. Are you freaking kidding me?
Rating: D. It was boring, it wasn’t particularly good, and it’s Bubba vs. D-Von in 2011 on PPV in a grudge match. Do I need to explain to you why this was completely awful? I didn’t like this in the slightest and of course it means we’re going to have another match between them because they’re draws right?
Post match the beatdown continues until the referees come out for the save. A low blow by Bubba ends it.
Jarrett says that since Angle hasn’t been in the ring in 6 months (just go with it) he’s going to lay out his plan for him. They’re doing the rounds thing tonight too.
TV Title: Abyss vs. Douglas Williams
Yeah because this is EXACTLY what the people wanted to see. Williams has a hurt hand here. Sunset flip can’t hit early on as this is power vs. technical here. Abyss rams the hand into the post to take over. Williams slaps away but can’t do anything of note. Chokeslam can’t hit but Abyss puts him down anyway off a big boot. The fans want AJ.
Here’s the majority of this match: Williams tries to fight, Abyss hits him in the hand, Williams gets another shot in. A jumping back elbow from the second rope sets up a top rope knee drop for Williams for two. Running knee in the corner is countered into a big chokeslam for two.
Abyss goes to the floor and finds Janice. It’s merely a ruse though as AJ comes down to clock Williams with the belt. Janice hits the floor again and a Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the TV Title. Get on to something else now.
Rating: C-. Match was ok I guess but dang dude this Immortal thing is getting to be such complete and utter nonsese it’s unreal. Abyss is a champion now and that’s all fine and good apparently. I’m not interested in this storyline at all and I know very few people that are, but TNA insists it’s good so that’s what we’re going to get. Oh joy indeed.
RVD keeps saying he wants Hardy and Bischoff says he’s got him. Cue Matt of course since Eric is laughing hysterically.
Rob Van Dam vs. ???
And of course it’s Matt Hardy with dreadlocks. He still has a gut but it’s not as bad now. After some basic back and forth stuff RVD hits a moonsault to the outside for two. Big crossbody gets two. Tenay tells us that Genesis 2011 is trending on Twitter at the moment. To no one’s shock, that’s ridiculous. Matt drops the back of Van Dam’s head into the buckle to take over.
Full Nelson goes on by Matt to work on the neck. GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY. Van Dam fights back and puts Hardy down. Kick and a rollup gets two. Matt has nothing on his arms and looks like he’s half ready to go. Top rope one footed dropkick puts Matt down. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Hardy’s hand is almost under the rope so they break up the pin. Twist of Hate hits RVD whose foot is out of the ring but they count the pin anyway. Of course they do.
Rating: C. Not a terrible match but at the end of the day it’s Matt Hardy: the guy that never meant a thing compared to what he was supposed to be. He’s not a main event guy no matter what he or TNA wants us to think but we’ll give him a major spot on the roster anyway and a win over a guy that was champion for like four months last year. That’s TNA I guess though.
Angle says he’ll win.
Recap of Jarrett vs. Angle which I’m sure you all know already.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle
Remember this is MMA rules. We have three two minute rounds here. Punching and striking isn’t allowed here by Jarrett Decree. Jarrett runs for 45 seconds until Angle lays down and says to Jarrett to go for his best hold. Minute fifteen with no contact yet. Angle gets a second of contact after 100 seconds. Angle gets him on the mat with seven seconds left but Jarrett gets saved by the bell.
Angle offers him a single leg which Angle blocks with ease. Over to a key lock which he lets go pretty easily. Head and arm choke goes on as this is ALL Kurt, meaning he’ll likely lose. Cross armbreaker goes on and then into the ankle lock with the grapevine but the ropes save Jeff again. “Angle’s Gonna Kill You” chant during the break.
Gunner and Murphy rub stuff on Jeff’s arm and it gets in Angle’s eyes so he’s in trouble. And then Jarrett punches him for the DQ of course. Angle blades with the camera on him the entire time. Naturally he blades too deep and blood drips off his head. Jarrett hints at there being someone else involved in this and I really hope it’s not Karen. There’s talk of a retirement party. I rate wrestling, not MMA.
Jarrett yells at Tazz and Tenay that he’s going to have a retirement party for himself as he’s retiring undefeated.
Jeff Hardy talks about how both guys are great wrestlers and welcome to Chapter Genesis where anything can happen.
Recap video tells us nothing we don’t know already and haven’t heard a dozen times on any given Impact in the last month.
Matt Morgan vs. Mr. Anderson
I really hope this has an actual ending instead of a screwjob of some point. Morgan grabs a headlock to start after the big match intros. There was a fifteen minute time limit announced and I have a bad feeling that’ll come into play. All of a sudden we’re talking about Ray Lewis and what he has next to his bed. You get multiple sports in this company I guess.
They head to the floor with Anderson in trouble. They have a ton of time here which means they’re likely going to stretch this out as far as they can. A main point here is that Anderson’s head might not be right which has people scared. Anderson works on the leg for a long time. Tazz thinks Immortal wants Anderson to win here because he has a chink in his armor. Makes sense.
Morgan gets a swinging chokeslam off the top and a clothesline to take over completely. They slug it out from their knees and neither guy can take over. Carbon Footprint out of nowhere takes Anderson down for two and Morgan isn’t happy. Since one finisher gets two the other one has to as well. They hit heads and Anderson gets a small package for the pin. Yep that’s it.
Rating: C. Not a bad match I guess but this is supposed to be the major selling point for the show? The ending came out of nowhere and felt completely flat if that makes sense. This was ok but I still don’t buy either of these guys as a main event threat. Nothing great at all but I think it’s setting this up.
Bischoff comes out and the title is on the line RIGHT NOW!
TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson
I have a really bad feeling the title is about to change hands. Jeff comes to the ring smoking….a joint? I must be seeing things. Maybe they’re afraid of the drug charges? Twist of Hate gets two as that move is killed more and more every match. Another Twist of Hate gets two. Anderson sends him to the floor by the belt as they’re making this kind of competitive.
Morgan takes Hardy’s head off with the discus clothesline out of nowhere. He sends Hardy in for a close two. They slug it out and Anderson takes over with a neckbreaker for two. Jeff grabs a chair but Foley pops up to grab it away. Here’s Flair to counteract Foley and get us our run-in quorum of the main event. Hardy gets crotched on the top but manages to shove Anderson off. Swanton gets two.
Anderson, of course, is bleeding from the head. Hardy’s jeans are ripped. He takes Anderson down and calls for Matt. RVD runs out for the fourth run-in of the match and fights Matt off to the back. Bischoff becomes the seventh person involved in the match by bringing in a chair but gets caught in a Mic Check. Twist of Hate is countered into the Mic Check to give Anderson the title.
Rating: D+. Total and complete mess of a match with all kinds of people coming in while the selling from both guys was awful. Also, no one can ever complain about SuperCena again after that performance by Anderson. Anderson winning the title should have been a huge moment, but instead it’s going to be something that people see when they turn on Impact Thursday. I’d be ticked off if I cared about this company, which is waning rapidly.
A fan runs in during the celebration and security takes him away.
Overall Rating: D. Anderson winning is good as it breathes some life into the title picture, but sweet goodness man this show was bad aside from that. We get the predicted Immortal dominance, AJ being out, more Madison as champion, more Dudleys in the future and Abyss holds a major title. Do I need to explain why this was awful?
The Anderson thing was stupid. Hardy is pleading guilty in 11 days and they tape TV tomorrow. It’s impossible to have a week to build up a huge main event for Impact? Apparently so, because this is what they went with instead. Not a fan at all as they could have waited two days, but hey it’s a shock right? And that’s all that matters. This show was a chore to sit through, and that’s not good at all. They need to shift something away from Immortal, but that’s not going to happen for awhile. Anderson winning helps a bit though, but not this way. Bad show.
Kazarian b. Jay Lethal – Reverse Tombstone
Madison Rayne b. Mickie James – Pin after a punch with a loaded glove
Beer Money b. Motor City Machineguns – Rollup
Bully Ray b. Brother D-Von via DQ when D-Von used a chain
Abyss b. Douglas Williams – Black Hole Slam
Kurt Angle b. Jeff Jarrett via DQ when Jarrett used punches
Mr. Anderson b. Matt Morgan – Small Package
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy – Mic Check