Date: May 3, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
We’re here for week 9 I think of this season and tonight we get the blowoff (I guess) to one of the season’s biggest angles (kind of) as Regal faces Novak. I’d bet on seeing a lot about last night’s Raw and in particular the birthday party for Rock. Something tells me this is going to be more of the same stuff we’ve seen all season long, which means this show will just kind of be there. Let’s get to it.
Theme song talks about the theme of the show in a musical format.
Darren Young vs. Chavo Guerrero
Horny is guest referee for no apparent reason. Titus is on commentary for no apparent reason. I’m having some connection issues here so there’s a chance this is going to be spotty at times. I’ll do my best though. Horny checks every bit of Young’s attire including his hair. Apparently he has an illegal boot so Darren has to fight in one boot. Horny stomps on his foot and we’re ready to go.
Titus and Regal debate the merits of wrestling barefoot which is just weird to hear from Titus. He has a VERY deep voice that almost makes him hard to understand but once you get used to that he’s well spoken and makes some decent points. Chavo dominates to start with basic stuff and throws on an armbar. And there goes my feed. Back with Chavo “hitting” a dive to the floor and by that I mean he mostly crashed and his leg hit Young. We take an actual break after that.
Back after maybe 10 seconds with another armbar by Chavo. We hit the floor again as my feed continues to be choppy. I’m sorry about this guys but we’re having some weather issues here tonight. Young takes over and fires Chavo into the ring, only to get caught by right hands. Young gets a cover and Horny won’t count at a regular speed for him. Regal is in wrestling gear at ringside.
Darren gets in the face of Titus for a bit as Horny still won’t count. Young keeps pounding away and we hit the chinlock. Chavo gets a sweet dropkick and a headscissors to take over a bit. Horny counts for him but gets knocked down on a reversed suplex so he can’t count a Northern Lights Suplex for Young. And Horny bites Young on what’s about eye level for him, setting up Three Amigos and the Frog Splash to end this at 9:15. I missed roughly a minute and a half of that if you’re curious.
Rating: C-. What I saw of this was pretty dull as it was Young using his very basic offense on Chavo while Horny wouldn’t count at all. Not much of a match but it was a god idea of course to have a guy like Chavo out there to help him as he’s going to be fine out there with his basic stuff as always. That’s what he did here and the majority of what this had is attributed to Chavo as Young is just dull overall.
We see O’Brian and Kozlov talking earlier today about Kozlov saying O’Brian needs special skills. Kozlov demonstrates his special skills by breaking a board over his head. O’Brian does the same but might need a doctor.
Conor O’Brian vs. Lucky Cannon
O’Brian grabs a headlock to start as it’s a feeling out process. Let the boringness begin here as there’s nothing of note going on. Cannon puts on a headscissor choke as we’re just waiting to get to the end of the match. O’Brian is a guy that would do FAR better in an old school system as he could develop a character in indy companies and then come back to WWE a few years later. The problem is he has nothing at all that distinguishes him from any generic wrestler. Anyway, O’Brian makes a small comeback but Kidd interferes and the reverse FU/Death Valley Driver ends it at 4:11.
Rating: F+. Conor manages to bring down another decent guy on this show. I don’t know what they see in him other than he’s managing to be the dullest character of all time. Actually that would imply he has a character. The thing with him is his in ring stuff isn’t terrible. It’s not good but it’s passable I guess. He has zero character or charisma though and I don’t want to watch him in the slightest which is the worst thing you can say about a wrestler.
We recap the Kharma thing last night to explain why Maryse isn’t here. Anything that lets me see Kelly in those shorts is a good thing.
Saxton comes up to Yoshi and apologizes for attacking him last week. He wants to fix their relationship but Yoshi cuts him off, saying he needs to check on Maryse. Saxton says that’s enough and he’s on his own now.
William Regal vs. Jacob Novak
It’s 10:30 and this is your main event, meaning we’re getting a LONG Rock video to end it. Striker is on commentary for this. Novak tries to talk like JTG and my head hurts. He says that Regal is just an announcer so he means nothing. Novak is going to make him famous. Just….no. Regal calls JTG a Muppet so the match is switched.
William Regal vs. JTG
Oh joy. Basic match to start as Regal does what he can with the jobber heel (I guess?). Regal sends him to the floor and JTG stalls. Back in Novak cheats and it does nothing. About three minutes have passed already and there’s just nothing to say about this match because there’s almost no point to these two fighting. Regal gets the knee trembler and Novak runs in for the DQ at 6:00.
Rating: D-. I know I shortchanged this match but at the same time I just did not care. There’s no reason for these two to fight and yet they did it anyway. The match was boring beyond belief the entire time and the ending just keeps this going even longer. Novak NEEDS a match with a guy like Regal because it’s kind of interesting actually. Instead a jobber lost to Regal by DQ. Terrible main event to a terrible show.
We get a long recap video of last night’s Raw set to a combination of I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money and Pitbull’s song. We also see Cole getting beat up.
Overall Rating: F. This was the worst show this season and possibly this entire series has had ever. The matches were weak, the main event which has had a decent build didn’t happen and nothing interesting happened in the slightest. This season just needs to end as nothing of note is going on here anymore at all. There’s no sense of competition and there’s no sense of this ending anytime soon. It’s like we’re on a treadmill with this show and that’s really getting annoying. I had zero desire to watch this after about five minutes in and that really does not happen to me when I’m watching wrestling. Terrible, terrible show.
Chavo Guerrero b. Darren Young – Frog Splash
Lucky Cannon b. Conor O’Brian – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam
William Regal b. JTG via disqualification when Jacob Novak interfered