Starrcade 1983 – The First Major Show

Starrcade 1983
Date: November 24, 1983
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,447
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Gordon Solie

So here we are at the real granddaddy of them all. This is before Hogan won the title and changed wrestling forever, as this is before PPV and nearly a year and a half before Wrestlemania and was shown on closed circuit instead. This is Starrcade.

The idea here is the original supershow, with all of the best talent from the NWA coming together for one mega blowout of a show with the headlining match being Ric Flair vs. Harley Race in a steel cage for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, giving us the tag line of A Flare for the Gold. No one had ever dreamed of something like this being possible, but here it is.

This is pretty much all of the territories coming together in one place for one show to show off how amazing the NWA was and it worked at an amazing level. This is certainly in the category of shows that you have to see once in your life as a wrestling fan, so let’s do it.

There’s no traditional intro as it’s just the ring announcer saying this is Starrcade, which does indeed sound cool.

Russian Assassins vs. Rufus R. Jones/Bugsy McGraw

The Assassins are just known as one and two here, although two is more commonly known as Hercules, which is what I’ll be calling him. The others are more or less glorified jobbers. There really is no point to this match other than to have a tag match for the opener. I like their style if nothing else. The Assassins are in masks by the way, and Jones is the Mid-Atlantic champion. The ring and the arena are VERY retro looking.

McGraw is just a fat bald man. There really is no way to tell the heels apart. Gordon Solie is just sweet on the mic and I love it. McGraw is either completely insane or just stupid. Gordon butchers Schiavone’s name. I think Assassin 1 started but I’m not sure. Jones is kind of like Rocky Johnson: an over the top gyrating black man. He’s dancing all over the place and it looks completely stupid. He’s the freight train apparently. We keep hearing about McGraw’s education.

Better than his football background I suppose. The heels remind me of the Killer Bees. I think that’s bad though as they’re far from intimidating. This leg gyrating from Jones is annoying as any and goodness. The Assassin in there is fatter than should be allowed. Jones is just a disturbing looking man.

I think Hercules just came in but I’m not sure. I think McGraw is wrestling in slow motion. It’s odd looking. Jones does this weird thing where he uses both fists at once on a punch. Not bad I guess. And one of the Assassins rolls up McGraw for the pin. Well alright then.

Rating: D+. This was a weird match. It was like it was supposed to be a squash but they weren’t sure who was getting squashed. The Assassins were ok but the outfits were exactly alike and it’s so dark that it’s hard to tell who is who out there. The faces were….just bad.

I have no idea what the thought here was other than give two popular guys a match, which is what I think they did. I can’t find any story or history between these guys anywhere, so I think it was just thrown on to get the Mid-Atlantic champion on the card since this was in his territory, and that’s ok. The match still sucked beyond all belief though.

The announcers hype up the show and I bow to Gordon Solie. The guy is so clear and crisp that it’s amazing. He sounds like a news anchor like Walter Cronkite or something like that and it’s just awesome. Apparently Dusty is here tonight to challenge the winner of the match, because we can’t go one night without Dusty being on camera. You know, it’s the biggest show of all time, so Dusty has to be around at the end right?

We go to the back with Tony, for what is apparently a first. Yes, this is allegedly the debut of the locker room interview. In something that is a sign of the times, we see Flair in the background explaining something to someone whose face we can’t see. As Tony is explaining what would become a staple of wrestling, the man stands up and it’s Roddy Piper. He’s just a young face back then but this would be one of his biggest matches ever so that would change everything for him.

Johnny Weaver/Scott McGhee vs. Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin

This has a 45 minute time limit? Really? This more or less is the same thing as the previous match but without a regular tag team in the Assassins. Weaver is a veteran here and more or less a jobber to the stars. He’s most famous for being the first guy to use a move called the Weaver Lock, which is more commonly known as the sleeper. Kevin Sullivan is up from Florida where he was doing a satanic thing with Lewin, who was known as the Purple Haze there.

See what I have to work with here? Lewin does this weird dancing thing that’s just annoying as all goodness. McGhee never did anything of note in his career. Weaver just looks old. Oddly enough McGhee is maybe the best in here. He’s very crisp and good in the ring which is a nice surprise. Caudle is just going over the card and not really talking about the match at all which is usually a telling sign.

Apparently there’s a rule that says your arm has to be through the ropes instead of over it for a tag. That’s most interesting and I’ve never heard of that but that works I guess. Lewin is freaking built. He has a devastating hand on the back of McGhee’s neck. The heels are completely dominating here and it’s not even close. And then after Weaver is in there for awhile, the heels work the arm.

Lewin goes up and drops a knee on the arm…for the pin. Now THAT is something you wouldn’t see ever again I wouldn’t think. Post match the heel manager gives Lewin something and he stabs the faces with it, drawing some good blood from McGhee. King Kong Mosca, a freaking monster, comes in for the save after getting beaten up a bit too.

Rating: D. Again this wasn’t much at all. It just wasn’t that interesting and there was more or less no story at all. The heels winning twice in a row isn’t the best idea I don’t think either, as it kind of takes the life away from the crowd. It was boring as all goodness too with the arm thing coming from beyond left field. I have no clue what they were going for here but it failed. The wrestling is ok I guess, but it just wasn’t working at all.

There are very limited transitions between the matches as one guy is leaving and the other referee comes in for the next match. It’s just different to say the least. It’s not bad or anything but just odd. There’s no music either and it’s very different.

A woman announcer is with a family from South Carolina who are the epitomes of country hicks. They say Flair will win. WWE needs to do more stuff like that today: interacting with fans. It took maybe 10 seconds and the fans got into the show. That’s just fun.

Tony is in the heel locker room with Harley Race, the Briscos and Greg Valentine: the World Champion, the tag champions and the US Champion. Good night that’s a ton of talent in there. Race says that even though he hates being in Greensboro, he’s ready as his friends have been filling him in on Flair’s weaknesses.

That was a big part of the match and show: Race is in Flair’s backyard for this match so he thinks it’s unfair. More or less Flair is about as clear of a winner as Austin was vs. Shawn at Mania 14, but that’s fine sometimes as it’s about the moment instead of the match itself.

Abdullah the Butcher vs. Carlos Colon

Sixty minute time limit here again. This is a match that was banned in Puerto Rico so we’re doing it here in America instead. Colon is more commonly known as Carlito and Primo’s father and about as big of an attention whore as Jerry Lawler in Memphis. Butcher is the epitome of a journeyman who would go around the world wrestling in territories at a time but never staying around long enough to be thought of as boring.

He was the first WWC Champion in Puerto Rico, which was rather surprising actually. I think Solie coins the Wild Man from the Sudan name here. We get the fork about 10 seconds into the match so they’re not waiting at all. To give a little context to this, Carlito was six here and Primo was less than a year old during this match.

I could listen to Gordon talk all day. This is just a brawl for the most part with mainly punches and headbutts. Colon gets a really bad figure four on but Abdullah’s manager hits him to break up the hold and give Butcher the pin. The man was more commonly known as Hugo Savinovich, or the commentator for the Spanish broadcast table.

Rating: D. This was just a brawl, but at less than five minutes we just didn’t have enough to get anything going. It’s fine I guess, but with four minutes and nothing but punches and headbutts, I can’t get into something like that. This would have been a lot better with no rules and maybe 5 to 8 more minutes, but in this form it wasn’t working.

We go to the back with Mosca who has his arm taped. He’s refereeing the tag title match for no apparent reason but that’s apparently already been determined. His voice is just funny as he sounds like a combination of Vito Corleone and Jerry Stiller from King of Queens. He says Flair is completely ready and picks him for the winner. The absolutely HILARIOUS part here though is that he goes on this rant against the heels earlier, saying that’s not needed in wrestling. That’s all fine and good.

He goes on a rant about how he fights for young people everywhere. Odd again but that works I guess as he’s starting a feud I guess with the heels from earlier. What cracks me up is we pan to the ring and McGhee from earlier is sitting there bleeding from the head and looking completely unconscious while Mosca has his arm wrapped up and a towel on him. It looks completely hilarious and like something out of an SNL skit. It’s great stuff indeed.

The woman from earlier is with two more fans who say they both think Flair wins tonight. Again, what’s so hard about doing this?

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

In a moment that I freaking want to scream because of, we get the introductions and the ring announcer leaves. All of a sudden he’s talking again and after a quick microphone issue, he announces that Dusty Rhodes is here! OH GIVE ME A BREAK YOU FAT TUB OF GOO! Seriously, after three matches with a limited story to no story at all, we get to a match that actually has a backstory that the people would more than likely want to see.

In other words, we’re past the fluff matches and can get to the meat of the show, meaning that the show is likely going to pick up the pace a bit here. That’s a good thing right? I would certainly think so. However, since we’re improving things, we CLEARLY need Dusty here. The guy isn’t even wrestling here tonight but he has to inject himself in the very end of the show so he’s the last thing people remember.

Dusty was a great talker, but he couldn’t wrestle to save his life, so instead he jumps…no that would require moving. He latches on with the teeth that have never met a cupcake they could resist “putting over” (read as devour and suck the life out of) to matches that are going to be far better than his so that his name is associated with them, so that later on people think of a good match like this one and associate it with Rhodes. That’s just pathetic and makes HHH and Shawn’s antics look like Mother freaking Teresa. In case you can’t tell, I FREAKING HATE DUSTY RHODES.

Anyway, back to the match. The story here is simple: Race had put a bounty out on Flair. Whoever could put him out of the sport would get $25,000 cash. Orton and Slater gave Flair a spike piledriver and collected the money. Flair came back with a ball bat and said he was going to kill them and then get back in the title hunt, which tonight is the culmination of. Youngblood and McDaniel are Flair’s friends and told him to worry about Race and they’ll take care of Orton and Slater, leading us here.

See what a story can do for you? Mark is Jay Youngblood’s brother who you will see later on. Amazingly Orton’s arm is perfectly fine. McDaniel is one of the toughest wrestlers and athletes in wrestling history. He had all of four moves, but he had charisma to burn. He gets a hot tag and the crowd is on fire. He chops the heck out of the heels but gets taken down to more or less change places with Youngblood.

Wahoo and Slater fight on the floor with nothing at all going on. This is formula based stuff but it’s fast paced and the crowd is responding to it so I’m happy with that. In the ring we get the superplex from Orton for the pin. These endings have no heat but I think that’s a cultural thing. The crowd is definitely into the show though. Post match the heels try to hurt Wahoo’s arm to great heat.

Rating: C+. Like I said it was a formula based match which is fine. It worked pretty well I thought but it was decent enough stuff. It’s the first match with a story behind it which helps a lot as well. We have a reason to care about it and you want to see the heels get their comeuppance. However, for the fourth straight match the faces loses, which makes me question the booking. To be fair though, there were only two matches that really mattered here and this was just an appetizer, so I think it’s ok.

Tony is with Flair, Steamboat and Jay Youngblood. They all say that they’re ready. Jay mentions that all of them have been in the gym training. That’s something that’s taken for granted: the insane training that these people have to do. Considering the insane travel schedule, it’s very impressive that they manage to get in the gym for obviously hours a day and work themselves into great shape. That really is impressive.

Dusty is at ringside and talks about wanting a title shot at the winner. They mess up the audio though so we have to hear Gordon say he’s talking about history. See, even God doesn’t want to hear from Dusty’s fatness. Oh apparently the Common man can’t stay in the fans and has to go back to his box. Oh come on now.

TV Title vs. Mask: Great Kabuki vs. Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown is Jimmy Valiant in a mask. It’s a Mr. America kind of deal where it’s obviously him but he’s trying to be funny or something. The modern equivalent would be Paul Burchill from a few weeks ago for you people that don’t get my six year old reference. This is an interesting concept as the TV Title has very short, as in about 15 minutes long, time limits, but this goes for sixty.

The idea is that the match can go up to that long, but if the match goes over 15, the title can’t change hands and the mask can’t be lost. I actually like that. It keeps the match from going to the annoying time limit and we’re more or less guaranteed to have a winner. I like that a lot. Kabuki is a somewhat stereotypical Japanese wrestler, although he invented the green mist of death and pain. Valiant looks like Santa Claus.

The mask covers about half of his face so it’s pretty freaking dumb but whatever. Valiant is beating the tar out of the champion, which makes perfect sense. He throws on the absolute weakest and worst sleeper I’ve ever seen. It looks like something you would put on your friend in seventh grade. Now apparently the sleeper was invented in the Orient. Keep your freaking stories straight.

Ok now we hit sleeper number twp and it’s somehow even worse. Valiant is one of those guys that’s all flash and more or less no skill at all. Oh look it’s a claw from Kabuki to just suck the freaking life out of this match even more, because we’re six minutes in so we clearly need rest hold number three. Oh look Valiant is no selling and dancing. There’s claw number two. Seriously, this has been eighty percent rest holds.

What I want to know: WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY RESTING FROM??? I really hate wrestlers that get up after being in a finishing hold for like two minutes on nothing but “adrenaline” or whatever. Oh for the love of pizza it’s the THIRD CLAW OF THE MATCH. Make that four. He keeps breaking it for a short comeback or more offense and then we go back to the claw. Holds like that are one thing, but mix it up a bit I beg of you.

Oh apparently the mask can’t be removed until the match ends. That’s stupid but whatever. They’re back up now so I’m a bit happier I suppose. And then Valiant hits some punches, Kabuki misses a charge in the corner and an elbow drop ends it. Seriously, it was just a regular elbow drop and nothing more.

Dude, is it that hard to get something like, oh I don’t know, ANYTHING BUT A FREAKING ELBOW DROP?? That gets the TV Title, which he would vacate in a few months anyway, more than likely so he wouldn’t have to job.

Rating: F. Seriously, we had a ten minute match and NINE rest holds. There is just no validation for that and both guys are guilty of it. And also, a freaking elbow? I know it’s 1983, but dude, you can’t use a splash or a piledriver?

A radio show host says Flair will win. Solie is just freaking awesome and has a great look. He just looks and feels like an announcer. He and Caudle, who is fine in his own right, run down the rest of the card.

Slater, Race and Orton are in the back and talk about Flair and the bounty. I see why this is the first time I’ve ever heard Slater talk.

Since it’s been fifteen minutes, it must be DUSTY TIME!!! Yes, he’s here AGAIN to talk about what he wants to do after the match is over, because we can’t just have the match itself and the big ending with Flair winning the title in a big emotional moment end the show. That’s blasphemy, BLASPHEMY I TELL YOU!!!

Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper

This is the famous collar match, which for a very long time after this was considered the most brutal match in wrestling history. Now this is billed as being for the US Title which Valentine holds, but for no reason that I’ve been able to find other than the gimmick being added, it’s sometime later changed to be non title, so despite the ending with Piper winning which I’m relatively sure isn’t much of a spoiler, he wouldn’t win the title for about another sixteen years.

I never quite got that but it didn’t matter much anyway as Slater would get the belt about three weeks after this and Piper would be working for Vince by the end of the year, or less than five weeks after this. He actually worked for both companies at the same time for awhile, which is unheard of really. This is a rematch from April when Valentine took the belt from Piper because he badly injured Piper’s ear, resulting in Piper being legitimately 75% deaf in it which I don’t think ever healed.

They’re tied around the neck with this huge chain which looks awesome. It’s pinfall to win here so that opens up the doors for a lot of violence. They immediately start by just pulling their heads back and having a tug of war, which really is a good looking visual. They’re starting very slowly here but it’s a slow build which is usually the best thing you can do.

They both get lengths of the chain together and whip each other with it which has to hurt badly. This is a blood feud so it’s working very well as far as atmosphere goes. Valentine gets Piper down by going for the ear and then wraps the chain around Piper’s eyes. That is not only dangerous but it looks awesome. You have to remember there’s nothing to go on here as this is really the first big time gimmick match other than a cage in the mainstream.

You would have things at house shows but it would never be seen otherwise. Piper gets control and wraps the chain around his mouth like a gag which also looks awesome. Piper wraps the chain around the post so Greg is more or less tied to the corner. They’re doing a ton of cool spots and ideas here. That almost always makes a match like this better. Valentine is busted.

Piper is just beating the tar out of him but Valentine gets a shot to the ear and Piper is in trouble. Either Piper’s ear is legitimately hurt or he’s the best acting wrestler of all time. The thing about an injury like that is that it’s very easy to be legitimately hurt with something like that. Oh man he’s bleeding bad from the ear. In case you can’t tell, this match is AWESOME.

For those of you that might have been wondering, when I said suplay in OCW for suplex, that’s something I stole from Solie who used it here. This is a very stiff match with them beating the heck out of each other. Valentine goes up top and Piper pulls him down and just GOES NUTS on him with shot after shot and it’s epic. Valentine comes back with shots to the ear so Piper just starts throwing punches, and I don’t mean wrestling punches.

He’s throwing jab after jab to the nose of Valentine and it looks great. Valentine drops a knee after a choke and Piper keeps kicking out at one which is a great screw you to Valentine. Just as I say that, Solie says that Piper might be winning the psychological battle. We get a suplex and both guys are just out of it. Valentine hits a sleeper which makes sense here given how tired they are and the blood loss, unlike in the previous match where it was put on three minutes into the match.

Valentine goes up to the middle rope but Piper pulls him down and just goes the heck off on him, beating the living crap out of him with it and tying his legs together for the pin. Post match Piper is congratulated as Solie says that wasn’t for the title. Then Valentine just lays a freaking beating on him with the chain and the fans freak out. This was AWESOME.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great fight. It was completely violent and they beat the living tar out of each other here, which is all you could ask for. Piper got his revenge for the blowoff, but both guys would be gone within just a few months if not weeks to Vince, which is ok. Either way, this was great and is well worth going out of your way to see.

The announcers talk about the match while we scrape Piper off the mat.

Tony is with Flair for the second time tonight as he plays messenger boy for Flair and Race. Flair says he’s ready and thanks Wahoo for helping him, saying that tonight it’s Flair and Race and no help for Race in the cage. That’s simple but effective. Wahoo who is next to him says he thinks Flair will win.

That woman is with Don Kernoodle, who was Sgt. Slaughter’s old partner and he also says Flair wins tonight.

Tag Titles; Jay Youngblood/Ricky Steamboat vs. Brisco Brothers

Yes this is Jerry the Stooge Brisco, Mosca from earlier is referee here, wearing a PWI shirt which is odd to see. The faces are WAY over. Jerry stands on the top rope for some reason for his intro. Steamboat and Youngblood are four time champions so this isn’t exactly a first time thing. The Briscos got the titles from them which isn’t mentioned for no apparent reason. Youngblood and Steamboat look a lot alike as do the champions so this could get confusing.

Good freaking night Steamboat is freaking amazing. Solie shows why he’s awesome by saying Jack will be pondering Steamboat after he tags out. That’s just epic. The champions ha been trying to get out of this match as the heels. It’s so weird to see Jerry as a legit wrestler here. In something that might be scary, Youngblood might be as good if not better than Steamboat.

It’s like Capotelli and Morrison in my eyes, as Youngblood would pass away in about two years after having an injury in the ring and his heart messing up because of it. I think he was like 33 or something like that so he would have been around at least another ten years or so. The Briscos really are solid in the ring. Steamboat kills the credibility of Davey Boy Smith by doing the arm lock lift up on Jerry without much of a problem, so there goes that move.

The Briscos use more suplexes than the Steiners. Spellcheck HATED that sentence. Jerry shows his intelligence by shoving a man called King Kong. The challengers just go off on Jerry, finishing him with a gorilla press from Steamboat to Youngblood into a splash. The heels beat up Steamboat after the match ends. Jerry jumps off the top and Mosca just catches him. That never gets old at all. The crowd popped like a cherry for that.

Rating: B. This was by far the best tag match of the night as they used the Midnight Rock N Roll formula before it actually existed so that’s always cool. This worked very well though and they beat the tar out of each other. When Jack Brisco might be the third of fourth best wrestler in a match, it has to be good.

The celebration goes on forever…and we go to the credits? Yeah, in a weird thing, they actually read the credits to us before the main event, which is just stupid, since there’s now far less energy in the show as we had to take time out to do that for no apparent reason.

Tony is with Flair AGAIN but doesn’t say anything this time. Instead he’s standing next to him and Charlie Brown comes in and is very happy and says this is for Jimmy Valiant. I hate gimmicks like this. Piper shows up and says it’s not over with Valentine. Actually it was. Steamboat and Youngblood show up after Piper leaves and say that they’re happy with being five time champions which I think is a record at the time. They talk about how they know what it takes to be champions. If that’s the case, why did you lose the belts four times now?

The announcers kill more time.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Ric Flair

Gene Kiniski is the referee which hasn’t been mentioned until just now. Flair’s entrance is freaking huge with lights and music which no one else has had all night. Considering Race’s takes all of a minute, the fact that the intros and introductions take eight minutes says a heck of a lot I’d think. Race is a seven time champion here and Flair is a two time champion, so it’s not like this was some big Austin moment for him but rather an epic showdown moment.

The cage more or less looks like it’s just a fence that’s really tall, as in it looks really cheap. It has no roof on it but apparently no one can get in. In case you didn’t get it, Race was scared of Flair and paid people to hurt him but Flair came back and got the shot here. This is Race’s last hurrah as champion or meaning much of anything in the ring as he never got past the midcard in the WWF. Kiniski, in a cage match, warns people about punches, in a cage match.

Allow me to emphasize that this is in a cage match. Like I said, this isn’t really much in doubt but it’s the road of getting there that makes it important and cool. This starts off as a wrestling match that just happens to be in a cage. For some reason the ring seems bigger in this match which makes no sense. Flair works a headlock for a LONG time. Solie points out that in a football game there’s about 14 minutes of actual game played, which is a very interesting stat indeed.

Race takes over and hits a piledriver but Flair’s hair makes it an average move at best. Race stays in control for a long time and keeps arguing with Kiniski. Flair keeps making small comebacks but they don’t last long which is a standard of good matches. Both guys are bleeding as the cage starts coming into play and we get a WOO! He gets the figure four but the ropes get Race out of it.

Kiniski needs to sit down. He’s gotten involved WAY too much here and it’s just annoying and distracting. It’s about the wrestlers, not the referee. Race takes over again as we’re going for the long….Kiniski grabs Race by the FREAKING HAIR and pulls him away. This is reaching Art Donovan levels of annoyingness. They are just bleeding everywhere. Solie of course sounds like he’s ordering dinner.

Race finally just has enough of Kiniski and headbutts him “by mistake”. I think that might have been a shoot. Flair goes up while Kiniski is on all fours (where’s Sheik when you need him to humble someone?) as Flair comes off with a cross body. The idea was Race tripping over Kiniski for the pin, but Kiniski was WAY out of position so Race misses by about a foot which isn’t his fault as he has to pay attention to the 6’2 240lb man jumping off the top rope at him.

The pin is supposed to be Race just barely not able to kick out, so Kiniski, the greatness that he is, counts like he got run over by a train so Race looks completely freaking stupid. Solie says Flair has done what many people believed to be impossible, even though only the fat load himself was the only person to say he would lose. The faces storm the ring to celebrate.

Rating: A. This was a great old school fight that was given time to flesh itself out and it worked really well. Flair winning was a given, but they made it look good once they were in there so that’s all I ask. It’s a cool moment. Screw that. It’s a legendary moment and has been on a ton of highlight reels.

This was the perfect ending and it works every time, other than that moron Kiniski messing things up and trying to steal the spotlight and make himself important when most people there didn’t know who he was more than likely.

Flair puts the belt on with every face worth anything out there. Mosca just throws Flair on his shoulders and walks him around the ring. That’s just awesome. And he’s still in the ring five minutes later. Oh Flair has a mic. Flair thanks the fans and makes this the first of the greatest nights in his life, of which he would have about 10 over the years.

All the faces leave and we go to the announcers to wrap things up as we talk about Dusty of course, linking him with the other two champions because he’s Dusty and he’ll eat them if they don’t do it.

For the FOURTH time tonight, Tony is with Flair again. He thanks everyone again, mainly Steamboat who comes up to thank him. Champagne starts flowing and here’s Dusty who says he wants a title shot and completely killing the moment because he just has to do that. Bear with me for a moment here as I need to say something.

Dusty Rhodes

You are a worthless human being. You’re so fat that it has taken over the pitiful little thing you like to call a mind and has made you believe that since it’s the only thing you see in a mirror in the morning, you’re all that matters. GET THE HECK OVER YOURSELF. You could talk very well. Flair could talk very well and wrestle even better. You were booker here so you insisted on taking away a great moment from a better wrestler in Ric Flair and you should get raped by an ostrich for it.

To be fair though you wouldn’t notice because the gravitational force of your stomach would suck the thing inside of you. It always had to be about you with Bunkhouse Stampede being a PPV that you designed to make yourself look good. Dusty, no one cared but you. You managed to bring Ric Flair down to a level that no one else could because it had to be about you. You talk with that stupid and annoying country accent and add if you will to every line you say.

Well I have a will also. My will is that you get over yourself. I would say around yourself but at 21 years old I don’t have 45 years to spare which is how long it takes to walk around that planet you call a stomach. You are a waste of air and need to stay far away from anyone else with talent because you might think they’re a big cookie and eat them.

You have managed to ruin more moments and matches than anyone I would have thought possible and you are the worst thing to happen to wrestling in a very long time. I hope you enjoy your life as you’ve certainly managed to ruin enough wrestling moments in everyone else’s thanks to your ridiculous ego.

Ok back now I think.

We go back to the announcers who talk about Dusty’s moment because he’ll eat them if they don’t. We talk EVEN MORE about Flair and how awesome he is and how Race is awesome too.

We go back to Race who says he’s done it 7 times and he’ll do it an 8th time and he’ll beat Dusty Rhodes who he of course has to mention and he’ll beat Flair in a match where he doesn’t have a ton of advantages. Race says he’s not going away, but he actually did. He had a three day reign in New Zealand that isn’t acknowledged by the NWA but other than that he was done.

Ok seriously, WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH FLAIR, but we get a fifth, count it fifth interview with Tony and Flair as he and the tag champions say they’re the best.

The announcers repeat themselves for the 20th time to finally end this. There was almost 20 minutes of interviews to close that show.

Overall Rating: B. Now before Lariat tries to kill me, a few notes. First of all, this is very subjective as I’m grading it like any other show and not for what it is: the very first of its kind. The opening half is rather poor but the last three matches more than make up for it. This is the living definition of a show that you have to see once as a fan so the recommendation is about as much of a given as you could ask for.

Even graded on a regular scale it’s a great show and for the first of its kind, this would be an easy A at worst. They had zero idea what they were doing here but it worked very well and set the standard for a big show until Wrestlemania came a year and a half later. Definitely check this out at some point but watch Piper and Valentine for sure as it’s amazing. Great show.

1 comment

  1. Flapjack Jack says:

    I like Dusty Rhodes.