NXT – June 7, 2011 – Conor O’Brian Is A Boring Person

NXT
Date: June 7, 2011
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

I think we’re in week fourteen here, which means we’re a week shy of this being as long as any other season of this show.  We have four people left so at least this is getting close to being done.  I’m not sure what else they can do with these four left because we’ve watched them fight time after time now.  They had a new idea last week so maybe they’ll surprise me.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Maryse and how the guys on this season have been obsessed with her and fighting over her.  The idea here is that Cannon has Maryse in his corner so he has an advantage.  Good to see someone other than O’Neil looking like they have a chance here.

JTG is in the ring here for a talk show segment apparently.  Oh joy.  It’s called Straight Outta Brooklyn apparently.  The guest is Yoshi Tatsu, because they’re the two pros whose rookies are gone.  Apparently people blame Yoshi for Saxton being gone.  They do the thing where Yoshi is asked questions and the mic is pulled away before he can answer.  We talk about Maryse and how she dumped Yoshi because he has no game (JTG: “I got more game than THQ.”)  Yoshi makes a Yo Mama joke because this is apparently the mid 90s.  JTG jumps him as he’s leaving, likely setting up a match later.  Striker makes said match.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG

 

The match is joined in progress.  JTG hits a knee to the ribs for two and actually works on the ribs.  Yoshi misses some chops and gets taken down again.  JTG hits Jay Lethal’s Lethal Injection neckbreaker for two.  Regal mentions that next week is an elimination.  That’s a good sign at least.  Yoshi fights up and strikes away, including a spinwheel kick to take JTG down.  A big high kick misses though and JTG takes him down again.  Yoshi fights back up and hits the aforementioned high kick to end this at 5:31 shown.

Rating: C. Match was ok, but at the end of the day it’s Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG.  This match redefines low stakes.  It wasn’t too bad or anything, but JTG is supposed to be a heel here and I tend to be more intimidated by a riled up cocker spaniel than him.  Also great to see that a show about the rookies has gone over ¼ of it already with zero mention of them other than in a video which is mainly about Maryse.

Capitol Punishment ad wastes even more time.  The only good part here is that when Regal is “woken up” the first thing he says is I didn’t know you were married.  This guy saves this show week in and week out.  When I say saves I mean he keeps it on the TV in the 5th circle of torment rather than the 9th.

HOKEY SMOKE IT’S ONE OF THE ROOKIES!!!  O’Brian tries to break a board with his head….and he’s talking to Horny who hurts his head trying to break a board.  Titus and Vlad come up so O’Neil picks up Horny and rams his head through the board.  I hate my life.  I truly do.

Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian

I have a very bad feeling that they’re going to have O’Brian sneak in the back and win this somehow.  He’s the least interesting and the worst wrestler out of all these guys which means he’s probably the favorite.  First match between the rookies starts up over halfway into the show.  I guess that’s required though.  Have to hit the JTG fanbase.  Young and Vlad start us off with Kozlov taking him down to the mat almost immediately.

Off to the cure with insomnia with sideburns who gets two on Young.  Chavo comes in and hammers away but that’s too interesting so let’s bring Young back in again.  Chavo hits a slingshot hilo ala Eddie for two.  Conor hits an elbow and we head to the floor, only for Chavo to beat Conor back in and hit a slingshot axe handle to take him down again.  We take a quick break and come back with Young getting two on Conor.

Vlad finally gets the hot tag and gets double teamed because Conor thinks there’s nothing wrong with letting him fight off two guys at once and losing any momentum they had.  Some lunkhead fan tries to get a Vlad chant going and it completely fails.  The pros come in so it’s at least borderline interesting.  Off to Young again as they work on the back of Kozlov for awhile.

Neckbreaker takes Kozlov down for two.  We hit the chinlock because someone thought giving these guys over ten minutes was a good idea.  Front facelock wastes some more time.  Double tags bring in both rookies as I think we’re finally getting close to the ending here.  Flapjack takes Young down for two.  Young gets up and hits his fireman’s carry into a backbreaker for the pin on O’Brian at 12:10.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying I guess but Young and O’Brian just aren’t interesting.  That’s all there is to it: I have no desire to see them have any match at all.  Young was dull in Nexus and he’s dull here.  O’Brian is supposed to be this guy that has worked his way here but it’s just not working.  Chavo and Vlad are ok but that’s about it, and that’s not enough to support a 12 minute match.

Titus O’Neil vs. Lucky Cannon

 

Maryse is with Cannon as are both pros.  Maryse has a big purse with her which apparently cost $3,500.  It’s a bag.  You put stuff in it.  HOW CAN THAT COST THIRTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS???  The stupid thing is there are bags that cost that much so it’s not even a wrestling overstatement.  Lucky takes over to start and pounds away.  Off to a chinlock as we’re running out of time here.

Lucky actually covers him after some stomps.  When do you ever see that?  Back to the chinlock again which eats up some clock.  Titus hammers back but gets sent to the floor.  It’s shenanigan time as Horny proposes to Maryse, giving her a candy bracelet.  He tries to take her purse which is ripped in half.  Not buying quality I guess.  Cannon is distracted and turns into the Clash of the Titus to end this at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a five minute match and about three of those were spent in rest holds.  That being said, I’d rather watch this again with ease over the previous tag match as at least these two are the talented and somewhat interesting rookies.  Titus has a look and Cannon is a somewhat interesting heel so I can actually stay interested in one of their matches.  Other than that, this was nothing though.

Overall Rating: D. And NXT botches it again.  The problem here is the same as it’s been the entire time: these guys aren’t all that interesting.  Also, it’s taking FAR too long to get through this.  It helps that we’re finally getting rapid eliminations but it took us three months to get here.  There are three guys on this show that are bearable but O’Brian just isn’t there.  Sadly, that probably means he’ll be pushed to the finals at least.  Anyway, another weak show here but we get rid of someone next week so there’s that to look forward to.

Results

Yoshi Tatsu b. JTG – Round kick to the head

Darren Young/Chavo Guerrero b. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian – Backbreaker to O’Brian

Titus O’Neil b. Lucky Cannon – Clash of the Titus

4 comments

  1. noahconstrictor says:

    Um…maybe Maryse’s bag is made out of orphan tears and baby hippo teeth?

    I haven’t really figured out who you want to win this. It seems like it’s either Cannon or Titus, but I can’t figure out which one.

    [Reply]

    klunderbunker Reply:

    EIther or really. The problem is that it’s not even for a roster spot or anything. This just gets them on the next season, so we’re taking forever to figure out who gets to compete for something later on. That gets rather dull as you realize there’s nothing to get excited over.

    [Reply]

  2. noahconstrictor says:

    This is just for a spot in the next season?!?!?!?

    Why do people even watch this?

    [Reply]

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Because I’m a wrestling fan and I’m an idiot.

    [Reply]

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