Smackdown – August 12, 2011 – You Call This A Go Home Show?

Smackdown
Date: August 12, 2011
Location: Power Balance Pavilion, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show before Summerslam and the card is probably about half set. With only four matches they almost have to add a few on here. I could picture Bryan vs. Barrett and the Usos getting a tag title shot which would help the card out tremendously. Either way it’s in need of help right now. Also tonight Christian implied he has a major announcement so let’s get to it.

The main event tonight is Khali vs. Orton. Well they promised a great main event so they have a lot of work to go.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is finding dental insurance at the moment.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He talks about how a month ago he was just hanging out in the back waiting for a friend (not sure who he means) and now he’s in charge. He’s also the guest referee in probably the biggest match ever. Both guys have their names mentioned and get about the same volume although Cena’s last longer. There’s a CM Punk chant but it’s nothing thunderous.

Trips says there’s a line of people waiting to get in to see him in the back. There’s a ton of pressure being the boss and he’s loving it. He wants every show to be as exciting and unpredictable as it can be. Therefore tonight the Intercontinental Title is on the line with Cody Rhodes challenging. With four matches on Summerslam shouldn’t you save that one for Sunday?

Also it’s Bryan vs. Del Rio in a MITB vs. MITB match. Just for pride though. Tonight Orton and Christian are in action also with Orton vs. Khali (surprisingly decent heat for his name) and Christian vs….someone that we’ll find out in a bit because here’s the champ. Josh reminds us that Christian said he has a big announcement/surprise. Christian says HHH should have called the champ given the circumstances. “I would have except I don’t give a crap.”

Christian’s surpsie is he’s going to sue the WWE. He has medical documents saying that Orton has serious anger management issues. If Christian has to fight in a no holds barred match, the company is putting him in an unsafe working environment. He’s been talking to the lawyers and if the stipulation isn’t changed, he’s filing a multimillion dollar lawsuit. He’ll sue everyone from HHH to his kids to Johnny Ace (he’s never called that but I don’t want to keep typing Laurinitis) to every single fan that goes to Summerslam.

HHH says the match is still on. Christian has a contract with WWE, meaning he has a contract with HHH, meaning HHH is his boss. If Christian doesn’t do as HHH says, as in compete in the matches HHH picks, Christian is in breach of contract, meaning he’ll be fired and HHH will be taking that title back. Christian FREAKS, wanting to know why HHH is doing favors for Orton. That’s….a really good question actually. HHH respects Orton and the fans like Orton but the fans don’t like Christian because they don’t respect him. HHH doesn’t respect him either. Christian needs to earn it back by competing Sunday.

HHH tries to leave but 15 minutes for the segment isn’t enough I guess. Christian says cut the music and says he gets the last say. Christian will earn it so you can forget the lawsuit. He’ll beat Orton on Sunday but first let’s get through this match that HHH has made for tonight. HHH says cool so here’s Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. Christian

The bell rings after a break. You can’t say they’re feeding Sheamus small potatoes (he is Irish after all) in the early part of his face run. Christian has to hit and run to start and manages to send Sheamus to the floor. Sheamus goes to the post and is holding his shoulder. The pale one gets some kicks in and charges into the post, hitting the other shoulder.

Ok so it’s the left arm that is hurt. Got it. Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse with the left arm but can’t cover because it hurts. Powerslam gets two. Killswitch doesn’t work as Sheamus punches Christian in the face. Love basic counters like that. Christian gos up which doesn’t work but the High Cross is broken up also. Sheamus does that thing where Christian’s feet are in the ring and his torso is between the top two ropes and he hammers in forearms to the chest.

He calls for the High Cross again for a better reaction but tries the kick instead. Christian hits the floor to avoid it and tries to leave which doesn’t work either. High Cross doesn’t work again and Christian gets a reverse guillotine. He tries to walk again and is up to the top of the stage at 7. And there’s the countout at 5:56.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can do here with this pairing but they went with the best ending they had available I think. Christian looks like a coward again and does soemthing he won’t be able to do Sunday while Sheamus continues to look strong. It was pretty decent while it lasted too.

AJ/Kaitlyn vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya

My prediction for this match: pain. The heels are now the D.O.D.: Divas of Doom. Which one is Butch and which is Simmons? Kaitlyn is the first piece of meat but she avoids a charge to bring in AJ. Booker says the heels remind him of Harlem Heat. I guess minus the skin color, blood relation, titles, gender, talent for one of them, longevity, talking ability and a host of other things. Anyway the Glam Slam ends AJ at 1:14.

Post match there’s a beatdown with Kaitlyn being put in the Sharpshooter.

Sin Cara is back tonight. It’s an FCW guy named Hunico under the match.

Ryder says the ratings are up because of him. Legacy comes in and Rhodes thanks Zack for the title shot. Teddy says it was his idea. Everyone but Teddy leaves and here’s Aksana with the music again. Teddy says let’s keep this professional. Sexual innuendo abounds but Teddy leaves, claiming car problems. Stick shift jokes are made and aren’t that funny due to the images associated with Teddy Long being naked.

Booker is talking about biscuits and gravy. Could this be a secret alliance with Jesse and Festus???

Video on Mark Henry. He’s strong don’t you know?

Johnny Curtis is in the locker room and Mark Henry comes in. Henry is his debut opponent. Henry has a play on words for him: break a leg.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

It’s clearly not Sin Cara if you look at his body but it’s close enough. The lights go out so it’s ok for the most part. Cara hits a bit spinning cross body to the floor. Kidid gets a dropkick to the bad ribs and Cara is in trouble. Springboard cross body (more like a headbutt to the chest) gets two. Booker: “Did you see that???” Cole: “Yes, it’s called television.” Cara gets something like a rolling Samoan drop and then a slingshot hilo and a lionsault end this at 2:57. Not quite a squash but Cara was never in any real trouble.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

Both guys are in white here. Josh says there will be a cash in by Alberto tonight which Cole shoots down quickly. Cole is going off about Bryan’s breakfast or something. Alberto works on the arm and Cole is already on my nerves. Now Booker is talking in an African accent. Josh THANKFULLY talks about being Mr. MITB to bring us back to anything resembling wrestling. Bryan fires off some kicks but Alberto kicks his head off with an enziguri.

Bryan knocks him to the floor and the suicide dive lands more on top of Del Rio than in his chest. Bryan goes up top for the missile dropkick but misses and the cross armbreaker ends this totally clean at 3:31. I certainly didn’t see that coming and the results I saw said this was a long match. That’s not exactly long.

Rating: C+. This was a hard hitting match that worked rather well but the shortness kills it deader than dead. Bryan was supposed to have hurt his arm on the dive, but it was the other arm that the armbreaker was on. I have no idea why they cut this so short but maybe there was a legit injury or something. Just kind of weird, especially with Bryan losing clean like that.

Post match Barrett comes in for a beating. Wasteland leaves Bryan laying. It’s mentioned that they’re fighting at the PPV so we have a fifth match which helps things a lot.

Christian is sitting in the back and looks annoyed.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Booker gets another bag and is annoyed again. Jackson uses power to take over but misses some elbows, allowing Cody to hit the floor. Back from a break with Rhodes hammering away. There’s a chinlock which goes on way too long until Jackson gets up and rams him into the back. After a clothesline in the corner here are the slams. He gets the Rack position but Cody grabs the rope. Ted offers a distraction which doesn’t work, letting Cody hit the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes gives us a new IC Champion at 4:34 shown of 8:04.

Rating: D+. Considering until the last 15 seconds this was shoulder block, chinlock, clothesline, slam, failed Rack, this was a really boring match. That being said, the ending was more or less clean. Rhodes broke the hold on his own, Ted didn’t really do that much and the kick hit when Jackson had missed Rhodes after being back to his own feet. Also the pin was totally clean after Cody’s finisher. I still don’t get why it wasn’t at the PPV but I’d bet on a potential rematch there. Also, how many would have bet Cody would get a title first? I’d think there were some, but not as many, at least a year ago or so.

Post match Jackson gets bagged. He wakes up though and destroys DiBiase.

Cena vs. Punk recap video eats up a few minutes.

We run down the PPV card and there are only four matches announced, even though they said Barrett vs. Bryan was official earlier.

Orton talks about how he’s tired of Christian trying to get him to slip up and break the rules. This Sunday there are no rules though. Orton talks about going to anger management classes and how he needs to not keep his anger inside. Therefore, he needs to let it out on Sunday. Oh and he’ll RKO Khali.

Johnny Curtis vs. Mark Henry

Total squash, World’s Strongest Slam, 55 seconds. We sat through a dozen bad puns for that? Wow.

Post match he sets for the Pillmanization but Sheamus makes the save since Curtis isn’t on the future endeavored list. Sheamus calls Henry a whale and himself a shark. He wants to fight right now and Henry goes to the apron and then stops to give Curtis another World’s Strongest Slam.

Randy Orton vs. Great Khali

Khali uses the power game to start which is about what you would expect in the opening minute. Orton gets some punches in but they don’t do much. Out to the floor and Orton goes into the steps. The chop hits for two less than two minutes in. Time for the nerve hold to waste some time. Orton gets up and dropkicks Khali into the ropes, tying him up. Mahal gets taken down and Orton gets a regular DDT. RKO is countered by the vice grip which doesn’t last long. Orton fires off some European uppercuts and gets a jumping RKO to end this at 4:32.

Rating: C-. Eh what can you really do in a match like this? Khali beat on Orton a lot with his power game and then got caught in the one big move to end it. The RKO looked good as Khali’s neck snapped backwards when the move hit. Not anything good but at the same time, what are you going to do here?

Post match Christian comes out and is very happy about the no holds barred match now. He says he has the best thing going today and says he’s looking forward to the match. He smiles to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I wasn’t all that thrilled with this one. There’s some good stuff in there but a lot of the matches are really short. Also we only got one match added to the PPV. I’m really surprised we didn’t get two or three and it’s probably not good to have so few heading into the show. Maybe a cash-in will fill in some time but who knows? Anyway not a horrible show tonight but not one of their better efforts recently.

Results

Sheamus b. Christian via countout

Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Glam Slam to AJ

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Lionsault

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Mark Henry b. Johnny Curtis – World’s Strongest Slam

Randy Orton b. Great Khali – RKO

4 comments

  1. Rising Savior says:

    Um KB is your 2009 summerslam review messed up?

    [Reply]

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Reposted. Think it’s fine now.

    [Reply]

  2. Ralf E Chubbs says:

    you ended up typing Laurinitis anyway lol…

    Good writeup.

    Something else I noticed- Every single one of the new Sin Cara’s moves were different than the old Sin Cara’s; the only thing similar were his in ring attire and the shaking his fists thing he did a couple times. IMO not even close.

    [Reply]

  3. Rocko says:

    I guess HHH was talking about Taker. Not sure.

    But I think this show shows Smackdowns thin roster. They really need to get more people on or just mix up the matches more. As Slater and Justin were the only other guys that weren’t used (not counting jobber guys). I guess the WWE figures Punk vs Cena will sell the ppv so they won’t build the rest of the card. It’s stupid but whatever. Mysterio getting injured probably took away the Miz vs Mysterio match. This Smackdown was also kind of bland.

    [Reply]

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