USWA Championship Wrestling – February 13, 1993 – I Never Want To See Brian Christopher Again

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: February 13, 1993
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Cory Macklin

So I found almost 30 territorial style shows today, so expect a lot of stuff like this: local TV shows that probably have some big names in their roots. This is the USWA, which had been a merger of the CWA (Memphis) and WCCW (Dallas) in an attempt to fight the WWF. However, WCCW pulled out so this is just the Memphis territory of the day. If my memory is right, there’s also a talent exchange with WWF at the time so you may see some familiar faces. Jerry Lawler is more or less divine here, so expect a lot of him. Other than that I have no idea what to expect as I know next to nothing about the USWA. Let’s get to it.

The commentators welcome us to the show and run down the card. There’s some guy named the Rock and Roll Phantom that gets to get beaten up by Lawler. Also Jeff Jarrett (big pop) against Brian Christopher and the Harris Brothers vs. the Gilberts. Lex Luger will be here too. He’s the Narcissist at this point and is part of the talent exchange.

Here’s Brian Christopher who has two belts. Based on what I could find he was Southern Heavyweight Champion (midcard title) at the time so I have no idea what the other belt is. He says that because he’s a double champion, he’s important. Since he’s important he gets to meet other important people, and this week he met Lex Luger. DANG Christopher looks just like his daddy in the face.

He says he’s been hanging out with the WWF Superstars because they’re the best in the business. He has a highlight reel of Luger’s work which is just Luger’s debut in the WWF where Heenan sounded like he wanted Luger to make sweet love to him. At the end of the tape, Christopher says that Luger is going to be here later but first we need a little etiquette lesson. When Lex gets here, you all better cheer him.

With that he brings out the Narcissist. Oh wait it’s Narcissus. Close enough. Christopher talks about how there’s a guy around here named the King who has been making fun of the WWF. That was the huge story at this time: an interpromotional feud between the companies with Vince (acknowledged as the WWF owner on USWA TV) sending his guys down to fight the Memphis guys. He also talks about Jeff Jarrett barking about the WWF a lot because he’s scared of the WWF and Lex in particular.

Lex says that he’s here to give the USWA a peak at what God created when he created the greatest physique ever. I don’t think he imagined a fanny pack with it. The businessmen want Lex to have some tune-up wins before he goes to Wrestlemania in Las Vegas. Those guys also warned him to avoid the USWA because there are some guys there that are pretty good. That made Lex come here because he wants to prove he’s the best. He’s supposed to be a heel right? There will be one or two opponents he’ll take on here before Mania. Unfortunately this is the only show I have from this era so I don’t know who he picked.

Video on Brian Christopher. Or is this his entrance? It’s set to an Elvis (I think) song. Well the Memphis theme is really setting in.

Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

Luger and two other guys that I don’t recognize are here with Christopher. Brian says there’s no need for Lex to be here for this one but then he changes his mind. Ok then. There are no apron curtains. That’s not something I’ve seen outside of a tiny indy company. Lex sits in on commentary for this. There can’t be more than 150 people at this. Ever heard me say someone is stalling like a man from Memphis? Here’s a good example of something like that.

First contact: 63 seconds in. Christopher keeps shouting to Lex how awesome he is but in a sucking up way, not an evil way. Second contact: 100 seconds in. We’re over two minutes in and we’ve had two tieups and that’s it. Ok from what I can find, Christopher is also the Texas Champion. Jeff finally has enough and pops Brian in the face with a right hand. We finally get going as Brian hits a clothesline and stomps a bit. To be fair, Memphis was far more based on egging on the crowd than the in ring action.

A backbreaker gets two for Christopher. He misses an elbow though and Jeff grabs a rollup for two. How weird is it that these two would reach their biggest successes as totally different characters? Christopher as a dancing idiot and Jarrett as a self-obsessed heel. One of the guys that came out with Christopher grabs Jeff’s leg but he manages a DDT to Christopher anyway. Not that it matters as the other guy comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. These matches are hard to rate as there isn’t much action in them, but like I said there isn’t supposed to be. These were two fairly big names and two acts that were over as a face and a heel, which is really all you can ask for. At the same time though, there’s barely any wrestling and it was all set up for the ending, which is ok, but it’s still nothing to see.

Jerry Lawler comes out for the post match save. Christopher suggests a tag match with himself/Lex vs. Lawler/Jarrett. Lex declines.

After a break, we have ANOTHER Brian Christopher interview. He says he can be the next Unified World Champion. Christopher says that Lawler is getting old and is going to have to retire soon. When that happens, he’ll be the new king. He never would win that title. Lawler only won it 28 times. That’s mild for him. He won the Southern Heavyweight Title 52 times.

We run down the card for Monday’s big show in the Mid-South Coliseum. There’s a new team there called PG-13 who I’m sure some of you have heard of.

We recap Lawler vs. Christopher which is the main event of that show on Monday. Christopher ran his mouth about how Lawler couldn’t beat him but he never could get a title match. Here’s another video of the same thing happening but Doink the Clown is involved here for no apparent reason. Doink put water on the floor or something so Lawler slips and Christopher beats him up.

Here’s Lawler in the arena who talks about Christopher, saying that Christopher wants to hang out with Lex Luger. Brian runs his mouth about Lawler but that’s all he’s ever done. This time it’s put up or shut up because it’s going to be one on one. Lawler isn’t ready to pass the torch yet. This is going to be the whipping that Christopher needs and all that jazz. This is a wrestling show right?

You would think that would be the segue to Lawler’s match right? Well you would be wrong.

PG-13 says there’s no competition for them here. Everyone else is the Atari and they’re the Super Nintendo. Ok give them a point for a funny line. There’s a music video with them rapping too.

Rock N Roll Phantom vs. Jerry Lawler

The Phantom is Ron Bass’ (remember him? You probably shouldn’t) brother in a mask. He’s rather fat and is from Louisiana. Luger is out for commentary again. The Phantom takes over to start but Lawler gets going and the same guys that came out with Christopher earlier are here with the Phantom. They come in for a DQ at about a minute in. Jarrett and Christopher come out for a huge beatdown. Christopher gets on the mic (fourth or fifth time tonight) and says if Lawler wants to fight him tonight, get Jarrett out of the ring. Christopher tries to run anyway but Lawler catches him and beats him up.

The announcer that hasn’t talked much runs down the upcoming house show schedule.

Jeff Jarrett is here to talk about the Rock N Roll Phantom. We get a clip of some fat guy singing with the Phantom as the Phantom plays guitar. Then Jarrett came out and broke it up and I think they’re going to have a match. One of the two guys that were with Christopher (one is named Mike Samples so that might help things in the future) interferes and Jarrett gets beaten down. Jeff fights all four of them (singer too) off and the match was thrown out.

Back in real time, Jarrett says a lot has been going on and then the Phantom jumped in on top of it. It’s about respect you see.

As he leaves here’s Doug Gilbert but his brother/partner Eddie Gilbert isn’t here. Doug wants to be known as the King of Rock and Roll from now on. It’s Eddie’s fault that they’re not the tag champions at this point because he’s irresponsible. That’s not acceptable for the King of Rock so the next time Eddie is late for something, it’ll be a beating for him. Here’s Eddie who tries to talk sense but Doug cuts him off. Eddie said he wasn’t here because his brother didn’t pick him up at the airport. He offers to take this to the back and talk it out but Doug jumps him and beats him down.

The Harris Brothers are here with Mike Samples (WHO IS THIS GUY???). Samples says his hair is on the line on Monday but it’s really isn’t because the Bruise Brothers (Harrises) wouldn’t let that happen.

J.R. Alzado/Sam Norris vs. Bruise Brothers

I don’t see this lasting long. The announcers aren’t sure who the jobbers are until the names pop up on screen. Total dominance with the Brothers winning in about a minute.

On Monday, the Gilberts will fight instead of having a tag match.

The card for Monday is run down again.

Christopher runs out to say that Lex is going to fight someone next week but the show gets cut off before he could do it.

Overall Rating: D-. If you’re a diehard Brian Christopher fan, RUN, I say RUN, out and find a copy of this show. Or stay at home because it might be more convenient but you get the idea. I don’t ever recall seeing a show that was so dedicated to a single thing more than this one. This show is about an hour long (as in an hour of show, not 45 minutes counting commercials) and about 80% is about Christopher and/or Lawler. There’s about 6 minutes of wrestling in it and none of it is any good. It’s not completely awful, but the Lawler/Lawler’s kid stuff drove me crazy and had me wanting the show to end. Bad sign.

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