Monday Night Raw – January 16, 2012 – Ace….With Emotion?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2012
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s another Monday and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have no idea that the Rumble was less than two weeks away. Has any Raw guy mentioned being in the Rumble at all? We’ve had nothing but the Cena vs. Kane stuff with Ryder running scared. Ryder defends the US Title tonight and for some reason Perez Hilton is here. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is about Martin Luther King.

Let’s Burn It To The Ground.

Here’s Foley to open the show. He talks about enjoying being a non physical presence, including hosting This Is Your Life John Cena. However, his kids got to see him perform, (including being in the main event of Wrestlemania in this arena). He does have two other kids though, who haven’t seen him perform. Due to that, he’s entering the Rumble.

Cue Vickie and Ziggler. Ziggler yells at him about taking up a spot in the Rumble from someone else that could use it more. Foley says it might be a huge mistake but he’ll be there to win it. Ziggler talks about everything he’s done to get to this point in his career and how he can’t imagine facing someone fat like Foley at Mania for his world title. He tells Foley to go home, get a new shirt, eat a salad and go home.

Cue Punk who is glad to see Foley. Punk says that he and Foley are a lot alike in that they’re unconventional and don’t look like the rest of the WWE roster. He makes fun of Ziggler’s look and Ace in general. They get in an argument with Vickie and here’s Ace. He says he’ll be fair at the Rumble and says he’ll consider Foley in the Rumble. After about 2 seconds, he says no. Vickie laughs at him and that’s it.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom

Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There’s a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.

Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn’t very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it’s Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.

Ace is in the back when Otunga comes in. He hands Ace an envelope which isn’t spoken of again. Someone comes in and Ace puts him in the main event: a six man with Bryan/Punk vs. Otunga/Ziggler/Henry. It’s Jericho, who turns off the lights, turns on the jacket, and poses.

The envelope that Otunga handed Ace was a doctor’s update on Ryder. We go to the back where Ryder is with Eve. His ribs are all taped up. Josh comes up and they say that he’s in no condition to compete. He says he won’t forfeit the title and Eve says she’ll go with him.

We get a video from last week about Kane/Ryder/Cena and all that stuff.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

After a break Ace says that Ryder wasn’t medically cleared. And that’s it.

Great and no it’s Hilton time. He’s booed out of the freaking building. Thank you Anaheim.

Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox vs. Bella Twins

Perez breaks up Twin Magic and Kelly gets a rollup at 55 seconds. GET RID OF THIS DIVISION ALREADY.

Rumble moment: 92 with Flair’s marathon. Heenan’s reaction to Flair being #3 is left out here for no apparent reason.

Here’s Truth but before he can say anything cue Barrett. Barrett: “R-Truth…if that’s even your real name.” Ok that made me smile. Truth is officially in the Rumble and Foley isn’t. Truth says Barrett talks funny. The fans are allowed to WHAT him. Truth went to Disneyland this morning and it made him smile. He has a slideshow to show us. First of all he met Mickie and Minnie. And Donald Duck.

Then he met Pinocchio who said Barrett is winning the Rumble. The picture of Pinocchio’s nose grows. Truth: “I don’t even know if that’s PG.” Truth bashes Barrett when Miz jumps him. Sheamus makes the save. Cue Teddy who is here because….I have no idea. Let’s have an over the top rope challenge.

Sheamus vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

After the feuds pair off, everyone joins up to throw out Barrett. Truth and Sheamus get into it but Miz takes them both down. Sheamus “hits” three double axes (and by that I mean they missed by six inches each) and the forearms to the chest. Brogue Kick misses and Miz can’t knock him out. Sheamus tries to put him out but Truth throws them both out to win at 5:10.

Rating: D. The match was just there but the point was to remind people that the Rumble is actually happening. Not bad and nice to play up the anyone can win aspect. Barrett going out first like that was kind of surprising. Still though, it was nothing special, but it wasn’t really supposed to be.

Miz gets his head kicked off post match.

Cena comes in to yell at Ace who makes Cena vs. Kane for the PPV. Cena vs. Swagger is…next?

Jack Swagger vs. John Cena

Cena takes his head off before the bell even rings. Out to the floor and Cena keeps destroying him. The bell never rang and Cena beats the tar out of him. Let me guess: embrace the hate right? Cena sets to crush Swagger’s skull with the steps but cue Kane’s pyro and music. Kane pops up on the monitor and says Cena will have embraced the hate by the Rumble. You know, because Cena has NEVER been violent or aggressive before right? Give me a break. There was no match.

Here’s Brodus who has a new intro with I’m assuming his dancing chicks talking about how he’s the only Funkasaurus in captivity.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

JTG gets molested but he does manage to get in a punch. Brodus does his chatting during the match. Corner splash sets up the cross body and we’re done at 1:09. The finisher is called Funky. Ok then.

We recap Show running over AJ last week.

Here’s Bryan for an update on her. He runs down Big Show for what happened and says they were fake tears. Show should never show his face on Smackdown. Violence is threatened if he does appear. Bryan is dedicating his match Friday to AJ.

Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry/David Otunga

Punk vs. Ziggler gets us going. The champ takes over to start and a snap suplex gets two. Off to Bryan who might have tweeked his knee. Ziggler DDTs it and it’s off to Otunga. Bryan takes a beating but it’s off to Punk vs. Otunga. Notice that Jericho hasn’t been in there yet. Ziggy comes back in and stomps away on the champ. Punk gets in a shot and Jericho wants in but Ziggler stops it and it’s back to Otunga.

Naturally Punk beats him down, hits the Macho Elbow and it’s off to Jericho. Jericho plays to the crowd instead of going after Otunga though….and tags out to Bryan, walks up the ramp, and leaves. We take a break as no one is quite sure what’s going on. Back with Bryan in trouble and it’s off to Punk quickly. He hits the springboard clothesline but Henry comes in. Everything breaks down and Bryan pops Henry, but Mark screams at him. Bryan hobbles away and they fight up the aisle.

Ok so it’s 2-1 now more or less. Henry is beating Bryan up….and here’s Foley? The fans seemingly boo this out of the building but it’s hard to tell. Fameasser gets two on Punk. Punk gets in a kick and it’s off to Foley who gets a pop so I must have misunderstood the reaction earlier. He destroys Otunga and hits the running knee in the corner. Double arm DDT hits and it’s Socko! It gets the win at 14:43.

Rating: C. Well that was a mess. Foley and Punk are announced as the winners and I have no idea how you get to that conclusion. Either way, the match was a mess with a bunch of stuff with some wrestling thrown in. I really don’t get what they were going with here but it continues the working theme that nothing has much of a plan that I can see.

Ace comes out post match and reverses the decision. Punk gets in his face and says the reason Ace doesn’t like Punk is because Ace never was anything but a look. He was the brother of a Road Warrior but he was nothing more than roadkill. It kills Ace that he never made it to this level as a competitor. Punk swears he’s going to get cheated at the Rumble because Ace can’t stand that Punk is the champion. No matter what, Punk will still be better than Ace because the people will be talking about Ace for the first time, but it’ll be because Punk is going to destroy him. Punk fakes him out with a punch and calls Ace pathetic.

Punk leaves and Foley gets Ace a very funny double thumbs up. Ace is ticked off but we’re not done yet. He says he’ll be the future permanent GM of Raw and he won’t be intimidated by Punk. Foley says just admit that you’re going to screw Punk. He calls Ace a sycophant, which is New York Times bestsellerish for kiss-up. Ace wants to know who Foley thinks he is. He admits he’s going to screw Punk because he’s tired of being bullied because he’s not appreciated for putting on the best shows he can. He hits Foley with the mic

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show tonight. I’ve certainly seen worse, but the booking ticked me off. The whole US Title changing hands is stupid as they had Ryder get one of the most unique pushes ever and then he loses the title less than a month later? WHY? Anyway other than that (and the announcers being more excited about Perez Hilton than a title change), the show was just kind of there. They’ve barely built up to the Rumble at all which is pretty stupid, but hey it’s not like PPV means anything anymore right? It’s about TV ratings and that’s it it seems. The ending however helped the title scene A LOT.

Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered

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  1. Nate says:

    Brodus’ finisher is called Funk It, not Funky.

  2. Kotre says:

    The reason Zack got the title stripped is that well what does he have if he’s not being the underdog or held back? Nothing. Having him screwed out of his title means he can go rant on youtube about it. If he was booked as a dominant champ he’s got nothing to go on. It’s paradoxical really.

    klunderbunker Reply:

    You wouldn’t call having injured ribs, taking two powerbombs, kicking out of them, coming back and hitting the Rough Ryder to retain the title as being an underdog? It worked for DDP for a year and a half.

    MrHashasheen Reply:

    Ryder isn’t getting the booking DDP is though, nor is he as good. In this situation, Ryder got screwed by Kane and Ace, decided that he was a fighting champion and went out to take a good bit of punishment, kicked out twice and then lost. Surviving all that and then kicking Swagger’s ass would have hurt Swagger’s credibility (more than it already is), and that way it was was just as good. It’s just that the announce team is completely shit at putting things over.

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Not exactly. Think about this.

    Ryder won the title and has done what since then? he’s been turned into a coward that won’t even put up a fight. He basically is John Cena’s girlfriend and has only cared about getting Eve to go out with him. He was the US Champion for crying out loud and they had him running and trying to change a tire instead of standing there with a pipe waiting on Kane to come get him. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy: Ryder is treated like someone we shouldn’t care about, so we don’t care about him. Better put the title on a guy that’s been jobbing for the last year and a half. THAT MAKES NO SENSE. You mention Swagger’s credibility? He has no credibility. He’s a jobber. Jobbers are there to lose, not win championships.

  3. SOM says:

    Do you think that the fact that the WWE title match is focused more on Ace/Punk than Ziggler/Punk hurts it?

  4. Jay says:

    I loved RAW quite frankly. KB I love your Reviews but you seem to nitpick at everything sometimes instead of just watching as a Fan which is what I do. I thought they hyped the Royal Rumble as well enough and I plan to get it on PPV.

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Yeah somewhat.

  5. dude_d_dude says:

    Yo KB who’s your pick for the Rumble at this point in time?