ECW on TNN – November 5, 1999: These Pulp Fiction Segments Are Really Bad Ideas

ECW on TNN
Date: November 5, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the last show before November to Remember and I’m sure we’ll get some more matches thrown on here, or at least some more talked about. If I remember right a lot of the matches would often be added on the night of the show. I can’t believe that we’ve only got eleven months to go with this entire show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of a house show tag title match with Raven/Dreamer defending against the Impact Players. There was a catfight (duh) and Rhyno ran in to take down Dreamer, revealing himself as the mystery partner of the Impact Players. Raven tried to DDT him but Credible destroyed him with a Singapore cane.

The Players hit stereo piledrivers and covered but the lights went out and Sandman made the save, setting up the six man tag. After waiting for his song to play for a few minutes he came down and caned everyone in a fairly col sequence. Dreamer and Sandman have a beer together. This is Sandman’s return from WCW.

Opening sequence.

Joey runs down the PPV card.

The Baldies are in the ring and says there are two things they don’t have: hair and patience. They want Axl and Balls to prove who the real Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks are.

Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney vs. The Baldies

The guys with hair clear the ring until Skull (Big Vito) gets in Balls’ face. PN News and New Jack run in and make the save for the heel and then face side respectively. Carnage ensues and this wasn’t a real match. Angel staple guns New Jack in the eye and everyone panics.

After a break, Rotten/Mahoney vs. The Baldies is made for the PPV.

We run down the PPV card again.

The Baldies say they’re the new kings of the street instead of New Jack.

Little Guido vs. Spike Dudley vs. Super Crazy

Spike has a female fan in the crowd and Guido gets in her face. Then he stomps on her glasses until Spike goes off on him to get us going. Crazy gets involved and we take a break. Back with the Acid Drop being countered into a Fujiwara Armbar by Guido. Guido gets sent to the floor by Crazy so Spike can dive onto him. This is one of those matches that’s going so fast you can’t keep track of everything in it.

Everyone goes into the crowd for more brawling with Guido taking over again. They go to the ringside area inside the barricade before Spike puts Crazy into the crowd again and hits a rana. Back in finally and Spike dives into another Fujiwara Armbar but he makes the rope. The shoulder goes into the post and Big Sal sets up a table. Spike manages to Acid Drop him through said table as this is one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in years. Spike comes back in but walks into the Tomikaze (jumping Killswitch) for a quick pin.

This is elimination though so Crazy grabs a quick German suplex on Guido for two. Standing moonsault gets the same. Crazy does the ten punches in the corner and of course the crowd counts in Spanish. Guido counters a headscissors into a facejam out of the corner to take over. A top rope legdrop gets two and Guido is ticked off. A brainbuster is countered into a DDT for two for Crazy. Triple moonsault is broken up by Sal so the third one only hits knees. Crazy’s brainbuster gets two followed by a sitout powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m really not a fan of these wild fast paced matches. They’re going too fast to keep up with and while they’re fun, there’s too much going on at at once and it gets distracting. The stuff in the crowd was a nightmare because you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Once they got in the ring and started wrestling it was a lot better, but this was still too much of a mess.

Van Dam isn’t worried about Taz because Taz is just jealous. When Taz was world champion, people were talking about the TV Champion. When did anyone tell Taz that one of his four minute title defenses were the match of the year? That’s painful because it’s true.

Simon Diamond has Dick Hertz with him.

Doring is sad because Lita is gone. They’re playing the Pulp Fiction music so we’re not going to see another match tonight are we? Doring says where he’ll be staying tonight if any women want to come make him feel better.

Fonzie tells Candido to bring it to Sabu.

Simon and Dick make fun of Buffalo.

Jerry Lynn is ready for his three way dance on Sunday.

The Baldies tell New Jack it could have been worse.

Simon warns people about his Big Dick.

Corino says his team will win and they’re not worried about Sandman.

Raven doesn’t want Sandman on his team.

The Impact Players want the titles.

Raven wants to hurt Credible.

Credible says his catchphrase.

Raven would rather let his mother die than lose to Justin.

Overall Rating: D. I get what they’re going for with these promo marathons, but they don’t make for good TV. Literally the last ten minutes of 45 they have to air are nothing but people talking. That isn’t interesting and it could have easily been used for a quick match or even two quick matches. At the end of the day, just wrestle. It’ll work most of the time.

Here’s November to Remember if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/november-to-remember-1999-another-six-man-main-event/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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