Monday Night Raw – August 27, 2012: For Reasons That Aren’t Fully Explained, This Show Was Just Ok

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2012
Location: Bradley Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The focus tonight is going to be on Punk, at least in theory. He attacked Lawler last week which will probably set up a match between the two of them because the WWE solution to a heel turn that isn’t quit clicking is always to beat up the King. Also we need to find out if Cena vs. Punk III is going to happen, which I think you already know the answer to. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap from Summerslam and last week.

Cole does the usual opening to the show but Lawler gets in the ring. He says that at the end of Raw 1000, he said something that Punk took offense to, and last week Punk kicked him in the head for it. Now Lawler wants an apology so he calls out Punk. Here’s the champ who isn’t pleased. Punk actually does say he’s sorry, but he doesn’t get how beating up a bunch of nobodies from Memphis makes you a Hall of Famer.

Punk runs down Lawler’s career and focuses on his time on commentary. After all those years, Lawler got a Wrestlemania moment and he couldn’t even beat Michael Cole. Lawler gets angry and Punk wants to know if Lawler wants a fight. Lawler says no but Punk keeps pushing it. Punk leaves and Lawler says he’ll think about it.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback takes him down almost immediately and slams Swagger’s head into the mat over and over. A charge misses though and Swagger shoulder blocks Ryback down. Vader Bomb hits feet but Swagger counters into an ankle lock attempt. Ryback escapes and pounds him in the corner. A BADLY botched backdrop results in Swagger being dropped on his head ala Sabu vs. Benoit in ECW. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:12.

Swagger says that’s it and yells a lot.

Lawler is still thinking about fighting Punk.

Natalya vs. Layla

Before the match, Vickie comes out and says to hurry the match up because she has something to say. Layla speeds things up to start and hits some nice athletic stuff, including a few rollups and a springboard cross body for two. Natalya kicks her to the floor and ties Layla up in the ring skirt. Back in and Layla tries some rollups before settling for a kick to the head for the pin at 2:48. This was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in a long time.

Vickie tells Layla to leave now because she’s done. Vickie talks about the Jericho vs. Ziggler match last week and complains about how Ziggler had to defend the briefcase. She says that the Board of Directors needs to look at the abuse of power and give it back to an adult like her. Cue AJ who skips to the ring and then snaps, beating the tar out of Vickie and sending her running away.

We get a retrospective of HHH’s time in DX, most of which apparently was in 2006.

It’s time for anger management with Daniel Bryan. He says he doesn’t need to be here because he’s calm and not a loser. A kid comes in wearing a goat mask and Bryan snaps. The doctor says that the kid is his son and he’s in a school play. More later.

Some actor in a WWE Films movie is the social media ambassador.

Punk has sent out a tweet about Lawler and that snaps Jerry. He gets on the table and talks about the people he fought in Memphis, one of which was Andy Kaufman. Lawler is in the WWE Hall of Fame and he got there by standing up to people when he needed to. The match is on tonight.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Non-title of course. Cena takes him to the mat to start with a headlock and we take a quick break. Back with Josh Matthews having taken over for Lawler. Miz is on the floor after escaping an AA. Cena bulldogs Miz down for two but the Champion gets in a shot to Cena to take over. The corner clothesline and top rope double ax gets two. Off to the chinlock as we actually hear about the movie Miz is going to be in. It’s the third Marine movie so take that for what it’s worth.

Cena easily counters out of it with a suplex but Miz hits the backbreaker and neckbreaker combo for two. Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere but Miz is near the ropes. Miz immediately kicks Cena’s knee out and DDTs him down for two. The Final is countered but Miz hits Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for two. Cena blocks the Finale again and starts his finishing sequence. AA gets the completely clean pin at approximately 10:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here and I’ll spare you my usual complaints about a champion losing clean. At least it was to Cena and not someone that was at about the same level that Miz is at. My guess is that this is so Cena can come out at the end of the show which is fine. I like that Miz has changed some of his offense since his return. It’s working pretty well for him.

You can pick from a tables match, a cage match or a No DQ match for the main event.

HHH is still awesome apparently. This one focuses on the torn quad. That would be the first torn quad. The pop for his return in 2002 is still amazing.

Bryan complains about having a bad boss and shows how insane wrestling angles are when you explain then out loud. The last patient for the group shows up and it’s Kane, in full attire including the welding mask.

Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Comedy match ahoy! Santino does a slow motion takedown and dances around on Slater’s back. It turns into a dance off but Slater punches him in the face instead. Slater puts him down and goes up but Santino keeps rolling away. Santino starts his comeback and hits his usual stuff before loading up the Cobra. Cue Aksana for the distraction but he hits Slater with it anyway and the pin at 3:14.

Rating: N/A. This was mainly dancing and the rest of the match makes my eyes roll. Next.

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow

Cody and Sandow say they’re smart before the match. This is joined in progress after a break with Cody holding Cara in a chinlock. Off to Sandow for that spinning elbow before it’s back to Cody. Cara snaps off a rana and makes the tag to Brodus. A powerslam gets two on Cody but it draws Sandow in to break it up. Cara sends him to the floor and dives onto Damien to take him out. Brodus headbutts Cody out of the air and splashes him for the pin at 2:35 shown.

Back at anger management, Kane takes off his mask to reveal his second mask. Kane explains his entire character’s history and it’s absolutely hilarious. “I’ve buried my brother alive. Twice actually. And for reasons unclear, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.” Everyone else leaves and Kane chokes a guy named Harold who gets too close to him. This was GREAT.

More HHH stuff.

R-Truth vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan tries to suppress his anger on the way to the ring. Truth and Bryan actually fist bump before the match starts. The fans chant GOAT FACE at Bryan to tick him off. Bryan fist bumps Little Jimmy before firing off the kicks to Truth. Truth comes back with the spinning forearm for two and sends Bryan to the floor. In a funny bit, Truth grabs the mic and says that YES, we are in Milwaukee! That makes Bryan snap and he yells at the crowd long enough to get counted out at 3:05.

Rating: C+. Most of this is for the comedy alone. Bryan is on FIRE right now and when he turns face it’s going to be huge. Also, thank goodness they didn’t have a champion lose again. This was barely even a match but it worked well for the anger thing. Also, Bryan continues to get the loudest reactions of the night.

Bryan snaps and freaks out in the ring.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement about whether or not he’s retiring. He talks about how he wanted to retire before the ring retired him. You can’t fight time and he doesn’t want to be the guy who comes back for the nostalgia pop and comes out because he’s just getting a check. Lesnar has brought him to this point. HHH says he wants to come out here and be the Game and the Cerebral Assassin and beat up Lesnar, but he doesn’t know if he can.

If he can’t come back and beat Lesnar, maybe he’s answered his own question. HHH talks about how everyone comes out here every week for the fans and every time someone comes through the curtain, they hope the fans care. “I think that every time I’ve come to the ring, you’ve all cared.” We’re just ignoring 2003 now aren’t we? HHH starts crying and says thank you for letting him play the game. He drops the mic and the fans chant “thank you Hunter.”

Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

Ziggler comes out to Jericho’s entrance but says you’ll never see him again after last week. Cole explains the MITB idea in detail as Orton and Ziggler start things off. Orton hits a quick slingshot suplex for no cover as he has to take out an interfering Del Rio. Sheamus hits a shoulder from the apron to take Alberto down. Ziggler bails to the floor as well as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio sending Orton into the post and then back inside for Ziggler to hit a knee to the ribs for two. Off to Alberto who starts in on the arm as is his custom. Orton sends Del Rio to the floor and finally makes the tag to Sheamus as Ziggler is brought in for the other team. White Noise is countered but the Irish Curse hits as everything breaks down. Ricardo throws in the briefcase but Orton hits the backbreaker on Ziggler followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note at all and really should have been saved for the main event of Smackdown. It looks like we’re getting Ziggler vs. Orton which is fine with me, as Orton seems like a guy who would have great chemistry with Dolph in the ring. Not much to see here but it advanced both feuds to a degree, which is fine.

Lawler asks Cena to not help him tonight. Cena seems to agree.

Kane comes out and Matthews runs off. Kane sits down on commentary for the next match.

David Otunga vs. Zach Ryder

Cole talks about social media and mentions Otunga being in a movie with “Holly” Berry. Otunga controls to start as Cole keeps trying to get anything out of Kane. It’s sad to see the fans not care about Ryder at all anymore, but can you blame them? Ryder goes up but gets tripped off the ropes. That means nothing though as the Rough Ryder hits out of nowhere for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Kane grabs Ryder by the throat but lets him go and chokeslams Otunga instead. Ok then.

Cage match wins the poll by a large margin.

AJ comes out and says it’s Cena vs. Punk at Night of Champions because she says so. Doesn’t that make the whole ending of last week’s show pointless?

CM Punk vs. Jerry Lawler

In a cage because the fans want it that way. Punk offers Lawler a free shot and it knocks Punk into the corner. This is non-title of course. Punk comes back with a neckbreaker as this match is going very slowly to start. As they’re going this slowly, I saw a report that says that Harold from earlier was played by Scorpio Sky, aka Mason Andrews from recent TNA fame. Lawler gets slammed onto the mat and Punk goes up the corner.

That goes nowhere as Lawler moves so Punk snap mares him down and hits a low dropkick. CM goes up again but gets crotched. Lawler goes for the door but Punk pulls him back in and drops a bunch of elbows. Punk keeps saying he’s the King of Memphis, Tennessee. Another neckbreaker is countered and Punk is sent into the cage. The fans think this is boring as Lawler makes his comeback. He goes up and drops the strap and the middle rope punch hits for two. Punk hits the knee in the corner and the Rock Bottom into the Vice for the tap at 7:40.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Lawler looked old and slow here, which to be fair is true. The cage meant nothing at all here, because there was no point to putting this in a cage. But hey, the fans got to vote on it and that means people care right? Nothing to see here for the most part, but at least it ends this Punk vs. Lawler jazz.

Post match Punk goes under the ring and finds a chain and a lock. He locks the cage shut and puts Lawler in a chinlock. Punk appears to be bleeding from the forearm. He demands that Lawler say he’s the best in the world but Lawler won’t do it. Punk beats on him until Cena comes out but Cena can’t get in. Instead of, I don’t know, climbing the cage, he screams to raise the cage as Punk drops a bunch of knees on Lawler’s head. It finally goes up and Punk says he’s the best in the world before bailing.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was hit and miss all night. A lot of the stuff that happened here came and went and seemed to be to build for later matches. That’s fine, but it can get pretty dull at times. On the other hand, you had stuff like the Kane segment at anger management which was great. HHH’s promo was just a waste of time as no one believes that he’s going to retire in the middle of a pretty meaningless show in Milwaukee. It wasn’t a bad show but it came and went, which doesn’t really help anyone.

Results

Ryback b. Jack Swagger – Shell Shock

Layla b. Natalya – Kick to the head

John Cena b. The Miz – Attitude Adjustment

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow – Splash to Rhodes

R-Truth b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Ziggler

Zach Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder

CM Punk b. Jerry Lawler – Anaconda Vice

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

10 comments

  1. AttitudeFan says:

    Can’t wait for Jay to defend tonights terrible show.

    Jay Reply:

    Well gee I was hoping you would chime in with some type of little cheap shot at me.

    RAW was decent this week with the best stuff being the Anger Management stuff & Kane’s part in it. I liked the Cage Match and CM Punk’s New Haircut,hey we had blood in it too. Also liked the Cena/Miz & Sheamus/Orton vs ADR/Ziggler Matches.

    AttitudeFan Reply:

    Don’t take it personal bro.

    Sully Reply:

    1999 was the worst year the WWE has ever had. Can’t wait to see you defend that shit.

    Anyways, Raw kind of sucked. Punk was good and the Bryan/Kane stuff was funny, but everything else was boring.

    AttitudeFan Reply:

    lol @ you automatically thinking my favorite year of the attitude era was 1999 it was actually 2000 and trust me if you call that shit I could easily defend it. Don’t try and be one of those “loz attude erz sux” kind of guys.

    Yes, 1999 wasn’t great but hey? That so called “shit” was sure as hell more interesting than the “shit” we get today.

    Sully Reply:

    I never said you thought 1999 was the best year (I agree with 2000 being the best year and really the only good year of the Attitude Era) but 1999 was actually the worst year I haave ever seen. Ministry of Darkness started off awesome then turned into a giant kayfabe breaking shit fest (Mark is starting to believe he actually is The Undertaker, Vince trying to plead with the cops that even through wrestling is fake, Steph is really being kidnapped by Taker, PMS [what is it with Russo and pregnancy angles?], Beaver Cleavage, Chaz, the first half of PPVs in 1999 sucked, Kennel from Hell, Hanging Bossman, BB, Al Snow breaking kayfabe and Bossman vs Mideon getting a long PPV match, that last one really annoyed for some reason). That is just off the top of my head. This year has been fucking great (well except for Del Rio). Punk/Kane/Bryan/AJ, Cena/Rock, Cena/Lesnar, Cena/Kane/Ryder/Eve and HHH/Taker was better than anything in 1999. Please go back and actually watch 1999, it fucking sucked.

    AttitudeFan Reply:

    The first part of 2012 was awesome I 100% agree with you. I mean since around June until now its been pretty shitty.

  2. Stormy says:

    Show was awesome.

    3 amazing comedy segments with the Anger Management stuff. Zack Ryder won too. The annoying incorrect commentator got his ass kicked by the guy he was slandering, and Daniel Bryan is still over. I didn’t see anything wrong with this show.

    And I will never get the people pissed about the Punk/Cena match being made by AJ, who has always said that Punk could pick his opponent but she had the final say and could veto it. He never picked anyone, so she picked Cena. It didn’t at all negate anything from last week. He never picked, so it was picked for him. You snooze, you lose.

  3. Jacob says:

    Great review as usual.

    I really enjoyed Bryan and Kane’s stuff this week. I’m shocked WWE has finally started to put more effort into Bryan’s character. They’ve given him tons of title matches, celebrity interaction and taped segments to get him over. Add that with the natural crowd reaction he gets and we’re probably looking at a bigger star than Punk by this time next year.

  4. Colin says:

    CM Punk has a new short hair cut, is talking about respect, and beating up announcers…… Stop the presses Booger Red is back!