Date: August 2, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
It’s a non-PPV month which means it’s time for another One Night Only. The theme this time is a celebration of the first ten years of the company, presumably because 10 Reunion sounds better than 11 Reunion. In other words, it’s more of the same idea but with regular matches instead of anything themed. Let’s get to it.
The opening video shows a few clips from the early days then jumps ahead four years to Angle debuting. Now it’s 2010 with Hogan debuting and the Band walking out. We get Angle headbutting Joe and various things happening to Abyss, plus the XXX vs. AMW cage match (Elix Skipper continues to amaze me) and various other moments.
We get a music video, set to a song about taking it higher and higher, of highlights from the X-Division with a focus on the old weekly PPV days. Nice stuff here.
Kenny King vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams
It’s not enough that I have to watch these things on Impact but now I have to be bored by them on the PPVs too. Oh joy. It would seem more appropriate to have Dutt vs. Williams here as King wasn’t around for much of the first ten years, if any at all. Also spare telling me that he was around in 2006. Anyway Petey seems to be the crowd favorite here but both guys send him down in the corner. Sonjay sends King to the floor but Petey grabs him in a wristlock.
Off to some Rings of Saturn into a rollup for two on Dutt but now King is back in. Both Dutt and Kenny are put in 619 position but King gets up before taking a dropkick to the back. Sonjay hits a running forearm to Sonjay in the corner and bulldogs him down onto King for two. Kenny takes both guys down and sends Dutt to the floor. A legdrop crushes Williams for two and Dutt is dropkicked back to the floor. Off to a crossface chickenwing on Petey but King is no Bob Backlund so Petey fires off some elbows to escape.
Petey comes back with some chops but Sonjay has to come back in to break up the Royal Flush. Sonjay shoves Williams down to avoid a superplex but King crotches Dutt on the top. King is clotheslined to the floor and Williams snaps off a slingshot hurricanrana. Back in and Dutt hits a quick hurricanrana on Williams but King comes in to put Dutt down with snake eyes. We hit the chinlock on Sonjay followed by a running knee to the ribs for two. Williams comes back in to drop both guys but gets caught in a Sonjay small package for another near fall.
King and Williams are sent to the floor and Sonjay hits a big dive to take both of them out. Dutt seems to be the only one the fans like but King whips him into the barricade to take over again. Petey and Kenny get back in with Williams hitting the slingshot Codebreaker for two. Taz says Petey looks like Peter Boyle (“Not that Peter Boyle!” Thank goodness Taz is back….I guess.) as Dutt breaks up the Canadian Destroyer on King.
A slingshot legdrop to the back of Petey’s head gets two for Sonjay but Kenny kicks Dutt in the back of the head. Sonjay breaks up another Destroyer attempt and dropkicks both guys down but misses the moonsault double stomp. The Destroyer connects on Sonjay but King comes in with the Royal Flush on Petey for the pin.
Rating: C-. It wasn’t bad but MAN this went too long. It was obvious that King was winning as he’s the only guy currently on the active roster and Heaven forbid we don’t want the reunion show to be about the past right? This match wasn’t bad but it didn’t need to run over twelve minutes like it did here. That’s too long for a spot fest with no story.
We’re going to be counting down the Top Ten moments in TNA history from Slammiversary in 2012.
10 is Jarrett vs. Raven with Sabu debuting to prevent Jarrett from winning the title. That doesn’t sound like a top ten moment to me.
9. Hulk Hogan debuts and won’t rejoin the Band.
Video on Gail Kim, including her beating Awesome Kong for the first Knockouts title in a good match. We also get a video on Velvet Sky, talking about her being bullied as teenager. I still have a BIG problem believing that an athletic chick who looks like that was bullied a lot in high school. These two traded the title a few times and tonight it’s a grudge match.
Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky
Tenay can’t convince Taz to say let the pigeons loose again. They get into a hip shaking contest to start until Velvet dropkicks her out to the floor. Back in and another dropkick puts Gail down for two and a bulldog gets the same. Velvet pounds away in the corner but is dropped face first on the buckle to change momentum. A clothesline gets two for Kim as Taz accuses the referee of cheating.
Velvet comes back with forearms of her own and Gail waves at Taz for no apparent reason. Gail takes Velvet down as Taz compares Velvet to the Berzerker John Nord. Velvet’s knee is bent around Gail’s neck as Taz makes jokes about the referee selling illegal DVDs. Velvet makes her comeback with some clotheslines and a headscissors followed by a bad spear for two. Eat Defeat is countered into In Yo Face to give Velvet the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was ok and it’s nice to see two girls who were actually important to TNA over the years, but you expect more from a ten year reunion show match. The same is true of the opener. That’s the best we’re going to get to celebrate the signature divisions of the company? The match wasn’t bad but it’s nothing memorable at all.
8. Kurt Angle moonsaults Mr. Anderson at Lockdown, mostly missing.
7. Joe vs. Daniels vs. AJ in the Unbreakable three way. That should be higher up. Like WAY higher up.
We’re also getting the intro on each individual moment which is a waste of time. Gee I wonder why they’re doing that.
Joseph Park says his time here has been unbelievable. He’s reached the bar he set for himself and is proud to have beaten Joey Ryan. He’s only been here for a year but his brother Chris (You know, Abyss?) was here for over seven years. Tonight, Joseph will take his place in the gauntlet match and who knows what’s going to happen. Maybe at TNA 20 Park can be the star.
Gauntlet Battle Royal
Man TNA LOVES them some gauntlet matches. Basically this is a catch all mini Royal Rumble. Johnny Devine is #1 and Shark Boy is #2. Devine takes him down and pounds away with stomps to the ribs. After that, Devine stomps away even more before trying a double jump moonsault and TOTALLY botching it, falling off the middle rope onto the back of his head a good two feet from Shark Boy. Sharky throws him out to end Devine’s embarrassment.
Chase Stevens of the Naturals is #3 and is still as generic as ever. He pounds on Sharky for awhile until Shark Boy comes back with a Thesz Press. He’s a Stone Cold ripoff remember. Cassidy Riley, a former Raven tribute character, is #4. Seriously, these are the best guys you could find? Riley mostly misses a Lionsault on Shark Boy and covers like the nitwit that he is. Stevens and Riley are both guys in trunks with nothing distinguishing about them, making this match feel even more dull. They double team Shark Boy down and yell at the crowd, who likely doesn’t know who they are.
Here’s Robbie E at #5 because we don’t have enough heels in there already. Stevens and Riley double team him as well before pairing off with the comedy guys. Sharky hits a Dead Sea Drop on Stevens but Robbie knocks them all down and stomps around in a circle. Jesse Godderz is #5 and I groan out loud.
At this point it’s very clear that these themes mean absolutely nothing and that these matches are taking place to fill in time on a PPV they know people aren’t going to buy. TNA may not be the biggest promotion of all time, but there’s an actual history to them that they could present a good show from. To throw out a few no names like Riley and Stevens along with some comedy jobbers isn’t a tribute. It’s a way to con TNA fans out of a few bucks and fill in time on a show so you can’t be accused of flat out lying.
Anyway, Jesse and Robbie yell at each other long enough to have Riley and Stevens jump them from behind. Taz talks about the Heavenly Bodies for no apparent reason as Bromance eliminates Riley. Here’s Matt Morgan at #7 in perhaps his last TNA appearance. He immediately puts out Stevens but Bromance tries to double team him. Shark Boy bites Jesse and Morgan eliminates both Jesse and Robbie to get us down to two. Shark Boy can’t hurt Matt and gets lifted in the air in a choke as Mr. Anderson is #8.
Morgan knocks Shark Boy into the corner as Anderson offers a truce with the big man. Shark Boy hangs on in an elimination attempt but Anderson stomps him down onto the apron. Morgan finally turns on Anderson and chokes him in the corner until Johnny Swinger is #9. He fires away at the stars until Anderson takes over on him and the match slows down AGAIN.
Joseph Park is #10 to give us a final group of Park, Morgan, Sharky, Swinger and Anderson. Joseph fires away on everyone not named Shark Boy until Anderson pokes him in the eye. Swinger and Anderson team up to try to eliminate Park but Anderson dumps Swinger. Morgan kicks Sharky out and we’re down to the three biggest names. Park is double teamed but Morgan doesn’t want Anderson helping him.
Anderson charges at Park but gets low bridged to the floor. As usual Park is shocked that it worked and walks into a discus lariat from Morgan. Matt tries to throw him out in the corner but Park punches his way out. The Carbon Footprint misses and Morgan crotches himself on the ropes. Park pounds away and runs Morgan over with a shoulder block. There’s the middle rope splash and apparently you win by pinfall in the final two. Morgan kicks out and hits the Carbon Footprint for the pin.
Rating: D-. This match felt like it was about three days long and the ending was nothing of note. Again, there were ten people in this match and most of them were either jobbers or comedy guys plus Anderson and Morgan. This is probably going to be the longest match of the night and it was ridiculously boring. This show has been terribly uninteresting so far and we’re just over an hour into it.
6. Hogan loses to Sting at Bound For Glory 2011 and turns face. It was so nice of him to put over that young Sting kid.
Bad Influence is ready for Team 3D and LAX. Kaz says Team 3D was a great team and LAX is an airport. Team 3D split up and clearly aren’t best friends like Bad Influence so they clearly won’t win. Daniels says they’re the present of tag team wrestling and west coast boogeymen. Good stuff here as always.
Video on the tag team division over the years.
Team 3D vs. LAX vs. Bad Influence
Now THIS is more like it. Team 3D and LAX at least are famous tag teams and Bad Influence has been around for a long time in the company. We start with Homicide vs. Bully, who won the world title about a week before this was filmed. Bully pounds him down with ease but Homicide comes back with right hands to the jaw. Kaz tags himself in to work on Homicide and it’s a feeling out process.
Homicide takes him down but Kaz nips up, only to be taken into the LAX corner. It’s off to Hernandez for a front suplex before it’s right back to Homicide who gets popped in the jaw by Daniels. Hernandez gets the tag and helps Homicide with some double teaming followed by an overhead choke throw from SuperMex. Kaz finally starts cheating by tripping up Hernandez to give Daniels a breather. It’s off to Kazarian who gets two via an elbow drop to Hernandez before bringing Daniels back for a countered double suplex on SuperMex.
Bully punches the now legal Homicide from the apron but we stick with LAX vs. Bad Influence. Daniels drives Homicide down with two feet to the chest for two before offering either Dudley a tag. Homicide gets in a shot to Chris’ ribs and D-Von tags himself in. A headbutt gets two on Homicide and it’s off to Bully for a big elbow. D-Von comes back in for a nerve hold and a clothesline followed by a Spinarooni of all things.
A release Rock Bottom gets two on Homicide and it’s off to Kaz. Homicide ducks a clothesline and it’s FINALLY off to Hernandez to clean house. In an impressive power display, Hernandez puts Kaz and Daniels on his shoulders at the same time for a kneeling backbreaker. That guy is scary strong. Everything breaks down and Hernandez dives over the top rope to take out Kaz and D-Von. Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter to Daniels from the top but a blind tag brings in D-Von for the 3D on Homicide and the pin.
Rating: C+. This was MUCH better than the rest of the show so far as it actually had some interesting teams in there. The earlier matches have been ok but the people in them haven’t sparked any interest. You had to have Team 3D win here given their current status so I have few issues here. The show needed a match like this to save it from the spiral it was caught in.
5. Christian comes to TNA.
4. Kurt Angle comes to TNA and gets in a fight with TNA’s top guy Samoa Joe. That should be MUCH higher.
Austin Aries can’t believe he has to face Jeff Hardy. He was hoping to fight someone more exciting as he’s already fought Jeff Hardy over and over. The problem is he’s never beaten Jeff Hardy. The stakes aren’t all that high here though as it’s just a regular match with no ladders. We’re in the dump of an Impact Zone with all of Hardy’s Creatures of the Night, so of course Hardy is the favorite.
We get a hype video for Bound For Glory 2012 with Hardy vs. Aries to set this up. This doesn’t really work as the video is about Aries saying Hardy isn’t great until he beats Aries, which he did at BFG. We also get clips of Aries winning the title, losing it to Hardy and losing the rematch at Turning Point.
Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy
They throw a t-shirt around to start and the fans are completely behind Hardy. Aries scores first with an armdrag and lays out on the turnbuckle. Hardy jumps over him in the corner and drop toeholds Aries into the corner. Austin wants a DQ for some reason but has to settle for jumping over Hardy in the corner, only to be caught in another drop toehold. Hardy drop toeholds him down for a third time and Aries takes a breather on the floor. Make that he’s walking out before charging back in, only to be sent right back to the floor.
Hardy follows up with a running clothesline off the apron but Aries grabs the referee to block a Swanton Bomb. Jeff is crotched on top for two and Aries finally gets to go on offense. We hit an armbar because that’s little more than a rest hold anymore. A jumping elbow gets two for Aries and another from the middle rope gets two more. Aries pounds away in the corner but Jeff fires off right hands of his own, only to miss a charge in the corner.
Aries goes to the middle rope and does Jeff’s dance but a splash only hits knees. Hardy wins another quite slugout and clotheslines Aries down. A basement dropkick puts Aries down for two but he backdrops out of a piledriver. Now Hardy’s middle rope splash hits for two of his own but Aries counters a headscissors to crotch him on the top rope. The brainbuster gets two and Aries is shocked. He heads up top but Hardy rolls away from the 450 and grabs a small package for the quick pin on Aries.
Rating: B. Now THIS is more like it. This was a very good match with both guys working hard to fire up the crowd. Hardy is a big deal in TNA’s history and Aries is…..kind of I guess. Then again I stopped caring about the whole ten year thing an hour ago. Good match here as this show is suddenly on the right track.
3. AJ Styles beats Jerry Lynn twice in a row to become the first X-Division Champion.
2. Hulk Hogan signs with TNA.
Video on James Storm vs. Bobby Roode over the years. I think this is borrowed from the build to Lockdown. This even gets a music video, complete with video from Bound For Glory with the King Mo nonsense.
Bobby Roode vs. James Storm
Feeling out process to start with Storm taking him into the corner for a clean break. They trade hammerlocks before Storm runs Roode over with a shoulder. Storm takes him down with a backdrop but Roode bails to the floor to avoid the Last Call. Back in and Roode sends him over the top but Storm skins the cat and throws Roode to the floor. James hits Roode in the head with a water bottle but gets his throat snapped across the top rope to change control.
Bobby stomps away back in the ring and drops a knee for two before hooking a chinlock. A middle rope blockbuster gets two for Roode and he’s getting frustrated. Roode suplexes Storm down and puts on another chinlock. Storm fights up but gets caught in a sleeper to put him right back down. The arm only falls twice and the comeback is on with Storm suplexing his way out of the hold.
Storm wins a slugout and hits some clotheslines to take over. The corner enziguri and a running neckbreaker gets two for Storm and a top rope hurricanrana gets the same. Back up and Roode hits the big spinebuster for two but the fisherman’s suplex is countered into Closing Time. Roode grabs the rope and blocks a Codebreaker, allowing for a rollup with feet on the ropes to pin Storm.
Rating: B-. This was good stuff for the most part but of course Storm loses again. That’s really all he knows how to do in a big match situation, especially against Roode. It’s a solid match with a solid backstory but it’s not the best match in the world. The problem here is the hatred is gone so it’s almost a nostalgia match at this point.
1. Sting returns in 2006. Just….no. It’s a moment but Angle jumping should have been #1, especially considering that this wasn’t even Sting’s first time in TNA.
Speaking of nostalgia, Samoa Joe is ready to beat Kurt Angle and he wants to do it by knockout.
We recap Angle vs. Joe. Angle debuted in 2006 and challenged the undefeated Samoa Joe to his first match. Joe lost at Genesis, setting up another two matches with Angle winning 2-1. Joe would beat Angle at Lockdown 2008 for the world title so tonight is kind of a rubber match. There was another match at Hard Justice 07 but no one remembers that so we won’t count it.
Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle
We even get big match intros for this one. Joe grabs a wristlock to start but Angle counters into a hammerlock. We keep going with the basic feeling out stuff until a shoulder block sends Angle out to the floor. Back in and another shoulder puts Angle on the outside again. Kurt is sent face first into the steps but gets in an elbow to the back as Joe comes back in. This is pretty slow paced stuff so far.
Joe hits a running kick to the chest to put Angle down and there’s the enziguri in the corner for two. A hard kick to Angle’s chest and a knee drop get two more but Angle snaps off the belly to belly to take over. Off to the chinlock for a LONG time until Joe fights up, only to be taken right back down into the chinlock. Joe fights up again and hits a running boot to the chest to put Angle down.
The running backsplash gets two on Angle but he pops up and rolls the Germans. Joe escapes the third with another enziguri but a missed charge in the corner sets up the Angle Slam for two. There’s the ankle lock but Joe rolls through to send Angle face first into the buckle. Angle escapes the MuscleBuster into the ankle lock but Joe pulls him forward into the Koquina Clutch. Angle grabs the leg and puts the ankle lock on for the third time but Joe kicks away and tries the choke but Angle gets underneath the fat man for the Slam and the pin.
Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the spark wasn’t here for this match. Much like the Roode vs. Storm match there’s no real reason for these two to be fighting other than they did before. The submission stuff at the end was good but the rest of the match really didn’t do much of note at all.
A LONG highlight video (as in like 5 minutes) ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The show isn’t bad but the first hour SUCKED. It had me wanting to turn this off and forget about it for a few hours but then the three way tag team match started up and things got WAY better in a hurry. At the same time though, this whole show depends on how you look at it.
If you’re looking for a reunion and the return of a lot of former stars then this is a complete failure. How many people returned here? Homicide, Shark Boy, Swinger, Devine, Stevens, Riley, and arguably Dutt and Williams? So if you stretch, eight people? The biggest name being…..Homicide? Or is it Shark Boy? This felt more like a two year reunion as we repeated some matches from a few years ago and little more. The show (first hour aside) is entertaining but it misses the point it was shooting for by miles.
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