On This Day: August 30, 2010 – Monday Night Raw: You Don’t Look A Day Over 890

This is very old and not very well done.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2010
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 900th episode and Raw and Smackdown both will be there. Surprisingly enough this is only a two hour show though. There hasn’t been much announced for this, so let’s get to it.

We open up by YET AGAIN being told how awesome Raw is. Vince, let it go. Mainstream media flat out does not care, so stop trying to make them accept you. It simply isn’t going to happen.

Cole says the 900th consecutive week. We’ll ignore the preempted shows and the Best of shows I guess.

5 on 5 elimination match with Nexus vs. Sheamus, the Canadian duo, Orton and Cena. Good to see they’re not overkilling the match before Survivor Series.

Here’s Bret to open the show, which makes sense since this is a show about old school. He talks about how great Raw is and how many records it holds etc. Bret says only Taker was on the first show also, cueing Kane. This is a new pairing if nothing else. Baldie says there is no more phenom because he hasn’t meant anything since he beat Shawn at Mania.

Kane talks about how Bret hated Shawn etc. Bret can’t wait for Taker to beat Kane like he always does. Good line and simple. Old guys know how to talk. Kane says he needs to take out an icon like Taker did, so he grabs Bret. Hart Dynasty comes out for the save but gets knocked back with ease. Bret does better but the lights go out.

I’m sure you know who’s in the ring now as we get the staredown. Taker looks like he’s about to cry and Kane bails. Cue the e-mail and tonight it’s Bret….vs. Taker? Well that’s the biggest name Taker has never been able to beat, so that fits pretty well.

We go back to the first episode of Raw for some clips which are always fun.

Back from a break and we see the zamboni incident, which was the night after Taker and Kane beat Austin in a triple threat at I think Unforgiven.

Michael McGillicutty/Kofi Kingstonvs. Daniel Bryan/Kaval vs. Miz/Alex Riley

Someone get me a boat to navigate the river of semen in the IWC at this point. Miz has a sweet new shirt with an id sticker on it saying “Hello I’m AWESOME!” I would totally wear that and I haven’t bought a WWE shirt in over 10 years. It’s a very fast paced match that I won’t even bother trying to keep track of.

Everything goes insane and Kaval hits a sweet rolling kick to Riley, setting up the Warrior’s Way. Cue in Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to end it on Kaval. Bryan takes the MITB case to the head post match.

Rating: C+. It was very fast paced and worked rather well I thought. This was designed to get the crowd going and to give us a look at the NXT guys. It did that in just a few minutes which is always a good thing. Quick match but certainly entertaining and it kept my attention, making it a win.

Laycool vs. Melina/Eve Torres

Well you can’t say they’re not attractive. Melina pins Layla in maybe 40 seconds with a rollup. Well ok then.

Michelle throws out the predictable challenge for the unification match at NOC but doesn’t say which member of Laycool is it. Melina insists it’s a lumberjack match. The Divas all come out and stand by her to end this segment.

Another Raw moment is Nexus beating down Cena, which is a big moment but dang man there are bigger ones than that.

Nexus is in the back and there are only five of them given Sheffield’s injury. Barrett says they have to do something to remember tonight and says he knows what it is but doesn’t say what it is.

We get another “historical” moment, this time the Bob Barker hosted show. Ok they’re stretching here methinks.

Jericho talks about how he says he’s great because he is great. If he doesn’t win the title at NOC, he’s gone. Josh says Jericho has been thrown out or fired at least a dozen times now, making me laugh. Jericho says watch what he’s going to do tonight.

John Morrison/RTruth vs. Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre

Well this was unexpected. Something tells me Morrison is going to do something of note here. It’s a big brawl almost immediately and there’s a double DQ. This was for the #1 contenders slot so screw that apparently. Truth dives over the ropes to take out Rhodes. Was there a point to this at all?

Another Raw moment is Bret and Shawn making up. This is a legit major moment so I’ll give them that.

Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Taker’s robe is a bit different now as he has the hood and sleeveless thing again, meaning no trenchcoat. And here’s Nexus. Ok make that just Barrett. He says it’s about the future and not ht epast, so he goes after Taker. Barrett gets knocked to the floor and then the lights go out. Kane is here and they slug it out, which Kane wins to a degree.

Taker goes for a chokeslam and there go those lights again. Someone really should look into that. Kane is gone (as is Bret) and here’s Nexus. Taker fights them off and has Barrett ready for the chokeslam but the lights go out AGAIN. We come back and Barrett has him up in the Wasteland. Kane is on the stage as it hits. A 450 hits Taker and he can’t quite sit up.

If you can’t tell this show has more or less sucked beyond belief so far.

Here’s Jack Swagger. Dang he’s fallen since the summer.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

As Bourne makes his entrance, Cole lists off MORE shows that Raw has been on the air longer than with Lawler saying Friends only had 236 or some odd shows. I’m not even going to go into the rant about why that’s incredibly stupid because here’s Alberto Del Rio of all people with his full car entrance and pyro. He even gets a split screen. Air Bourne misses and Swagger gets the ankle lock for the tap. We saw maybe a minute combined of the in ring action without a split screen, meaning no rating.

Del Rio cuts off Swagger’s music and talks about how he got rid of Rey. However since none of the Raw fans saw it he’s going to recreate it here. He grabs a chair and Evan is in trouble. MARK HENRY of all people comes out for the save. Ok him just punching the chair out of Del Rio’s hand was in fact very cool.

We get a video about the China tour, which is indeed awesome.

This is Your Life Rock, which is actually a cool moment.

The Straight Edge Society is here, and Punk is better than The Rock. Punk says that Raw has pushed negative family values, and he has two words to prove it: Katie Vick. “If you don’t know who that is, Youtube it. It’ll drive you to drink and then you can come see me.” He has a list of four things that WWE has been bad about over the years.

Property Damage: HHH breaking into Orton’s house.

General irresponsibility: Cena throwing Edge in the water. Punk talks about never throwing anyone into water (with the joke of course being that he won a match like that against Chavo in ECW)

Tresspassing: DX invading WCW.

The last one is exhibit D for drunkenness, which is due to the beer bath…..on SANTINO. Yeah they picked that one instead of what was voted the #1 Raw moment back at the tenth anniversary show.

Punk makes fun of Austin and CUE GLASS SHATTERING!

And he’s not here. Punk literally rolls on the mat with laughter. He asks if the fans feel empty inside now, because that’s how he feels with every one of the fans. Punk has one more clip, which is the ring breaking thanks to Show and Lesnar. It’s to bash Show and he won’t say Lesnar’s name.

Show comes out and he mentions Eddie and a burrito. He wants to know why Punk picked a fat joke when he’s done all kinds of stupid stuff. We get a Show promo about the SES as Hulk Hogan. Show clears the ring of course and we go to a break.

HHH’s return in 2002 was in fact amazing.

Sheamus comes out to talk on the ramp. Surprisingly he doesn’t get a big pop since we’re in Boston. He mentions HHH and says he’s never coming back. Here comes Edge, who gets a BIG face pop. He talks about how many moments he’s had on Raw and all that jazz which is true. Edge also says Sheamus should go back to the lab with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Total face promo here.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/John Cena/Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Nexus

This is elimination rules and the bell rang at 10:59. Jericho walks out after a few seconds and it’s 5-4. Edge immediately shoves the referee and it’s 5-3. Tarver and Cena are in now and Cena dominates for the most part. Sheamus beats up various people for awhile and this is just awful. High Cross is blocked and Nexus takes over. SLATER PINS SHEAMUS! Totally clean for the most part too. He hit his finisher and that was it. Hokey smoke.

FU gets rid of Slater. Big beatdown and Cena is in trouble. Otunga goes out to the STFU. 450 to Cena and he’s out! Orton vs. Gabriel, Barrett and Tarver. Make that Barrett and Tarver as an RKO takes out Gabriel. It’s Barrett vs. Orton now. That happened in less than 15 seconds. Wasteland and it’s over. Less than a minute passed between Cena’s elimination and the end of the match, which included the eliminations of Gabriel, Tarver and Orton.

Rating: F+. Just a total reversal of what we saw at Summerslam. This was boring and not interesting in the slightest, although BIG props for the clean pins on the three mega stars from the non-Nexus team. Those were very unexpected and made them look like they were human. That being said, the match was just awful. Three eliminations in about 40 seconds? Seriously? Just a bad match if there ever has been one and a fitting end to an awful Raw.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a horrible show all around. Punk’s promo and segment is the only good thing this had going for it really. For a special, there were so many quick matches that you barely remember anything about, including one that was about 12 seconds long. The main event was just bad all around but to be fair they did get the point of NOC across.

 

Shame that it two me about a day to get that idea. The lack of wrestling and the lack of nostalgia hurt this a lot as apparently barely anything has happened other than in the last two years. This could have been worse but not by much. Punk’s promo was all that made this passable, which is saying a lot since he’s a Smackdown guy. Bad show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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