Wrestler of the Day – March 30: Mike Rotunda

It’s appropriate this time of year: today is Mike Rotunda, more commonly known as IRS.

Rotunda got his start in the Florida territory in the early 1980s but was quickly brought up to the WWF in 1984. He and his real life brother in law Barry Windham would team up as the US Express and win the Tag Team Titles in January 1985. Here’s one of their defenses from the War to Settle the Score.

Tag Titles: Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham vs. The Spoiler/The Assassin

Both challengers are in masks. Windham is YOUNG here. Spoiler is a semi-famous guy from the 80s and Assassin is a generic masked dude. Rotunda and Spoiler start us off….and then Windham hits a bulldog to end this in maybe 30 seconds. Well I did say get us to the ending so maybe they’re listening.

The Express would drop the titles to the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff at the first Wrestlemania, setting up a six man tag at the first Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (kick ass DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

The team would split up due to Windham having a meltdown but they would hook up again in the AWA at Wrestlerock 1986.

Fabulous Ones vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotunda

The Fabulous Ones are Steve (Skinner) Keirn and Sweet Stan Lane. The guest announcer here is another radio guy which is the case with the vast majority of them. Windham vs. Lane starts things off. The crowd has filled in a lot and it looks much better. Feeling out process to start as Barry grabs a headlock. This is back when Windham was awesome and in shape so he’s fun to watch.

Off to Rotunda and the arm work (I’m as shocked as you are) begins. Lane tries to escape a hammerlock but gets kneed in the arm instead. Back to Barry who cranks on the arm some more. Off to Keirn who is armdragged right back down. Back to Mike who works a top wristlock. Barry comes in quickly for a chinlock. Keirn tries a leapfrog but gets punched in the face for his efforts. You can’t say Barry is over complicating things.

Windham/Rotunda hit a double dropkick and Keirn is in trouble. Mike misses a corner charge and the heels take over. Things break down quickly but Rotunda can’t make a tag. After a long beating by Lane it’s back to Keirn. Lane comes in for a neckbreaker but misses an elbow. There’s the tag to Barry after a short heat segment. Powerslam gets two on Stan.

The Ones cheat again and Barry gets caught in a chinlock. We’re ten minutes into this and it hasn’t really kicked into high gear yet, which is a shame given what you have to work with here. Barry grabs a small package on Lane for two. Off to Rotunda who speeds things up and gets two on Lane. There’s an airplane spin for two. Lane backdrops him and sets for a piledriver but Barry comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head, giving Rotunda the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything here but it was ok I guess. They never cranked this up as high as they could and that really hurt it. Also the lack of any reason for these teams or wrestlers in any match for that matter to want to fight each other is really bringing things down. If they don’t care, why should I care?

It was soon off to the NWA where Mike would turn heel and win the TV Title. He held the belt for nearly a year before losing it to Rick Steiner at Starrcade 1989. Here’s the rematch from Chi-Town Rumble a month later.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Mike Rotundo

This is the Starrcade rematch but the heat isn’t on it anymore as Steiner won the title. However there’s now the added issue of dealing with Rotundo’s Varsity Club’s teammates. Let’s go to Rick Steiner to see how he plans to deal with that. Rick brings in his brother as Scott Steiner debuts. Scott mentions that Rick is out there like he is (including talking to a puppet named Alex) because of a bad car wreck they were in a few years ago.

Rotundo is out there alone so Rick looks a bit odd having his brother there. Rick takes over to start, hitting what we would call an AA to frustrate Rotundo. This is going to be a very technical match. Mike gets sent to the floor again as Rick is controlling early but he hasn’t done anything major. Rotundo fires off a European uppercut but Steiner takes over again, this time with a headlock.

Steiner hits something but the camera is on someone in the crowd so we don’t see what gets the two count. We’re about six minutes into this and nothing has happened so far. Well at least nothing of note. They’ve been doing more than standing around for that whole time. Off to an abdominal stretch and Scott tries to get the referee to notice Rotindo’s cheating. They go to the mat and Rotundo hammers away with crossfaces.

Off to an armbar as this is a very slow paced match. It’s not bad but it’s slow. Rick hits a monkey flip to get a breather and a knee lift for two. A top rope splash (???) misses for the champ and we head outside. Back in and Rick snaps off a powerslam for two. And here’s Kevin Sullivan, talking about Rick’s dog in the back so Steiner goes after him. Back in Rotundo gets a suplex for two. Steiner pounds away in the corner with five minutes to go and there’s a sleeper. Steiner goes to the mat with it but loses focus with Rotundo on top so that Steiner gets pinned while holding on to the sleeper.

Rating: C+. Pretty creative ending there and it plays to the idea that Steiner isn’t all there but he’s trying. The Steiners would start teaming up soon after this and would become the best team WCW ever produced. Not a great match here but the pacing was good enough to give us something else that we didn’t see that often.

Rotunda would remain part of the Varsity Club heel team and team with Steve Williams to challenge the Road Warriors for the World Tag Team Titles at Clash of the Champions VI.

World Tag Team Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

The Road Warriors are defending and the Club (Rotunda/Williams here) has also lost the US Tag Team Titles to Rick Steiner/Eddie Gilbert recently. Hawk grabs a headlock on Rotunda to stat but gets hiptossed down in a surprising power display from Mike. Back in and it’s Animal cleaning house with slams. Williams comes in for a showdown with Hawk and takes him down with a clothesline before it’s back to Mike. Animal gets the tag and has to backflip out of a double belly to back suplex but charges into a backdrop to the floor.

Williams goes outside with Animal and picks him up in a great looking spinebuster (called a bearhug slam by Hayes which is as good of a description as he could have used). Back in and we get an actual bearhug on Animal to work on the ribs. Rotunda comes in again and hooks an abdominal stretch. Animal is tossed outside and blasted with a chair as the referee is with Hawk.

Williams gets two off a spinebuster but charges into a boot, allowing Animal to tag in Hawk. Mike gets destroyed with power offense but Williams breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped just before the Doomsday Device (Animal puts Rotunda on his shoulders so Hawk can clothesline him from the top rope) crushes Mike. Referee Teddy Long refuses to count but Williams sneaks in with a rollup on Hawk. Teddy DIVES over and counts to three in maybe half a second to give the Varsity Club the titles.

Rating: D+. The ending was more of an angle than a wrestling moment which is fine but the story here was why this happened. The Road Warriors were basically unbeatable in a regular match that there was no way to have them lose a clean fall. Teddy Long would be banned from being a referee for life but would quickly come back as a manager.

After the Club split up, Rotunda would become Captain Mike Rotunda, a boating enthusiast. Why? Because WCW of course. Here’s one of his matches from Great American Bash 1990.

Iron Sheik vs. Mike Rotunda

Uh….sure? Sheik jumps him to start and rips Mike’s jacket off. MY GOODNESS Sheik has a beer belly and a half on him. Mike grabs a fast sunset flip for two. Rotunda speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where JR calls him a terrorist. Back in now and they slug it out with Sheik keeping control. The abdominal stretch goes on but Sheik gets caught cheating to break the hold. Rotunda fights back and they slug it out. Sheik throws him to the floor to keep this match going. He suplexes Mike back in and gets pinned by a backslide.

Rating: D. Again, what was the point of this? Nothing of note happened at all and there was no point in having either guy on the card. Does anyone remember Sheik in WCW? I certainly don’t, but somehow he got paid for a full year because WCW forgot to stop his contract from being renewed. And you wonder why they went out of business.

Rotunda would jump to the WWF in 1991 and become his most famous character: IRS, a tax collector. IRS and Ted DiBiase would team up as Money Inc. and win the Tag Team Titles in early 1992 from the Legion of Doom in a match that wasn’t taped for TV. Here’s a title defense from Wrestlemania VIII.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending and is comprised of Ted DiBiase and I.R.S. DiBiase and Earthquake start things off with the heels (Money Inc.) getting beaten down and the rich man being knocked to the floor. Off to Typhoon vs. I.R.S. For osme arm work by the big guy. Typhoon misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to DiBiase….who is immediately beaten down as well. Typhoon misses a splash against the ropes and falls over the top and out to the floor.

I.R.S. cranks on a front facelock for a bit as Ted hits an ax handle off the middle rope for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this match is DRAGGING. Everything breaks down and the challengers take over. A clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor and there’s the big splash from Typhoon. Jimmy Hart pulls Irwin out to break up the Earthquake splash and the champions walk out to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was. The match wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t good, and the match didn’t accomplish anything. I’m guessing this was supposed to be filler between the other matches, but we already had one of those and that’s what we’re about to get next. Nothing to see here at all.

Money Inc. would dominate the division for over a year and hold the titles going into arguably IRS’ biggest match ever at Wrestlemania IX.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Jimmy Hart is with the challengers because of how the champions hurt Beefcake. Hogan and Beefcake clear the ring while the music is still playing as the match begins. The champions stall on the floor for awhile until we get down to Beefcake (in a red/yellow mask) vs. I.R.S. The tax dude immediately goes for the face and it’s off to DiBiase for more of the same. DiBiase hits a middle rope ax handle to the mask and injures himself in the process. Ted continues to act way dumber than he is by ramming the mask into the buckle. So why did the punches work earlier?

Beefcake rams DiBiase’s head into the buckle instead and in the match we should have gotten five years ago, it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase. Ten punches in the corner put Ted down so Hogan pounds on the mat a bit. Off to Beefcake for a slam before it’s back to hogan for more punching. DiBiase ducks low and is immediately punched in the face again. I.R.S. comes in again and is punched by both Maniacs. All challengers so far.

The champions try to walk out but Finkus Maximus (remember the Roman theme) says that if they leave, they lose the titles. They get back in and the fans are chanting for Hogan. Ted goes for the throat to finally take over and I.R.S. chokes away a bit from the floor. More choking by DiBiase ensues before he cranks it up with the Million Dollar Dream. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafter! Well they would if they had rafters. They have columns here and they’re hanging from them!”

I.R.S. tries to interfere for some reason but it allows Beefcake to come in with his own sleeper and put DiBiase out to break the hold and buy Hogan a breather. Hogan pops up and the double tag brings in Schyster to face Beefcake. An atomic drop puts Ted on the floor but the tax dude gets in a shot to Beefcake’s back to take over. Dibiase comes back in and rips the mask off of Brutus’ face so the champions can work over the face.

Beefcake comes back with a double clothesline out of nowhere but instead of tagging he puts I.R.S. in the sleeper. Ted breaks it up but the referee is bumped in the process. Hogan comes in like a hero and hits both guys with the steel mask but there’s no referee. What else do you do in this situation? You have Jimmy Hart turn his jacket inside out so it has white and black stripes and have him count then CELEBRATE LIKE YOU WON THE FREAKING BELTS. Another referee comes out to explain to Hogan how stupid he is and give Money Inc. the win by DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was ok at best but the ending is so dumb that I can barely comprehend it. I mean…..HOW STUPID CAN HOGAN POSSIBLY BE??? The guy has been around for nearly ten years and he thinks that would actually work? The match was just ok as it was mainly choking and punching for the first half, which is decent but nothing mind blowing. Then the ending sucked the life out of my brain which is normal for Hogan a lot of the time.

Lots of posing ensues but then the Maniacs open Money Inc.’s briefcase. They find tax forms, cash, and a brick. Heenan: “Well you never know when you’re gonna need a brick.” Hogan gives the money away and Heenan is suddenly a huge fan.

IRS would get a rare singles match at Summerslam 1993 against an upcoming star in the 1-2-3 Kid.

I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.

Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.

IRS would get a very rare title match at the 1994 Royal Rumble against Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon.

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.

Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???

We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.

Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.

He would find himself in the King of the Ring later that year again against a future tournament winner.

First Round: IRS vs. Mabel

Donovan wonders if IRS is one of the wrestlers. This is depressing. If nothing else, Rotunda had this gimmick down to the absolute T. Is Oscar like the grandfather of R-Truth or something? Oh dang it my video skips back a bit and I have to watch the intro twice. Gorilla shouts HO which just isn’t right at all as my childhood innocence (yes I still have some) is scarred forever.

Donovan asks for Mabel’s name. 14 seconds later he gets an answer. Oh, Mabel beat Pierre and IRS beat Scott Steiner. Wow that’s just odd indeed. Donovan says this match isn’t fair. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? He actually gets a somewhat decent line in by saying he thought the guy in the white suit (Oscar) was there to take IRS to the hospital. Eh ok I guess that’s not bad.

He follows that up with this gem: “And you guys enjoy doing this?” He’s referring to being in the ring, but that’s never specified and it sounds like he’s saying he’s miserable doing the announcing. Again, there’s no mention of Savage having tournament experience for no apparent reason. He won the biggest tournament of all time so wouldn’t it make sense to point that out for younger viewers who aren’t sure who Savage is?

IRS goes for a slam and Mabel counters it with a small package. Yes, that’s what happened and I’m not on any medication or foreign substances other than some grape juice. Mabel starts to dominate, but he goes to the middle rope and misses an elbow. IRS grabs his leg without actually hooking it and while Mabel rolls around on the mat with his arms going up into the air, he gets the three anyway. This was just out there.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. For one thing, IRS’ finisher is a clothesline. Mabel somehow wasn’t at his worst here as he could still move a bit, but the styles just completely contrasted here and it bombed badly. The ending sucked too as it just didn’t look right at all. It needed to be about a minute long but it was five and a half times that long so there we are.

It was soon back to the teaming as IRS would join the recently retired Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. They would open up Summerslam 1994.

Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.

Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.

Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.

The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.

Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.

The Million Dollar Team would feud with Undertaker for several years, including this from Royal Rumble 1995.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

It was soon back to WCW where things would go downhill fast as IRS would become VK Wallstreet, a parody of Vince McMahon. He would however get a few big matches in, including this one from May 13, 1996 on Nitro.

VK Wallstreet vs. Ric Flair

It’s IRS if you’re not familiar. Kevin Greene is mentioned and yeah we really do have to do Great American Bash in awhile. Blast it. Liz looks great in short black leather dresses. Heel vs. heel here which is always kind of weird. Technical stuff to start us off and Wallstreet is wrestling face for the most part here. Flair heads to the floor to stall and back in gets his leg worked over by Wallstreet as we take a break.

Back with Wallstreet hammering away which is really surprising. Who in the world is VK Wallstreet that he gets to hammer away on Ric Flair??? Wasn’t Flair world champion the previous week? Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip and backslide both get two and Flair hits the floor. And then VK rams his own knee into the post and you can measure this in seconds now. Figure Four goes on, the girls help, we’re done.

Rating: C+. This was more competitive than it had any right to be and that’s always a good sign. Flair was still more than able to go at this point and the match showed off as a good result. I don’t get why VK Wallstreet of all people was thrown in there but they were trying I guess. Fun little match and better than expected.

Wallstreet would even get a little feud against Konnan, resulting in this match on Nitro from December 30, 1996.

Mr. Wallstreet vs. Konnan

This is the touch the corners variety. Wallstreet, who has no issues with Konnan, jumps him and whips Konnan down. Konnan does the get the strap between the other guy’s legs and pull spot. We get the same finish that you almost always get for this: Wallstreet drags him around, Konnan hits it at the same time, Konnan dives to win it. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It lasted like two minutes and there was no issue between these two.

Wallstreet would join the NWO before going to Japan for a few years. He would however come back in 1999 to reform the Varsity Club for no apparent reason. Here’s their big match from Starrcade 1999.

Jim Duggan/???/???/??? vs. Revolution

Oh and if Duggan loses, the Revolution has to do his janitor job for thirty days, but if Duggan loses he has to renounce his citizenship on Nitro. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club. Yes, the same three guys (Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) from 1988 are back again for absolutely no apparent reason. Instead of Shane in the match, it’s WCW’s version of WWF bodybuilding chick Chyna, named Asya. Get the joke? Also Benoit isn’t here because of the US Title match later tonight.

Duggan wants to start the match himself so he sticks his tongue out at the Varsity Club. Saturn starts for the Revolution and gets pounded down by Duggan so it’s Malenko’s turn. Jim beats him down as well with the Three Point Clothesline but he doesn’t seem interested in tagging. The Varsity Club yells at him and you can feel the heel turn coming from here. Saturn comes in again with a springboard missile dropkick to take Duggan down.

The Revolution takes turns beating on Duggan in the corner as this is rapidly going nowhere. Dean hits him with the Revolution flag and even Asya gets in some shots of her own. The Varsity Club finally gets bored of standing on the apron and everything breaks down. To the shock of no one paying attention, the former heel stable turns on Duggan and lays him out, allowing Douglas to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: D. As predicted, no one knew who the Varsity Club was so no one cared when they turned on him. Why Duggan would pick them as partners is beyond me, but as mentioned he wasn’t that bright. This was a waste of Malenko and Saturn, which is a big part of why the bailed to the WWF along with Guerrero and Benoit in about a month.

Rotunda would head back to Japan for a few years before retiring. However, we’ll wrap it up with a joke that has a great payoff from the 15th Anniversary Special episode of Raw on December 10, 2007.

15th Anniversary Battle Royal

THE FINK does the intros. We’ve got Al Snow, Bart Gunn (man, where did they drag him out of?), DOINK THE CLOWN, Repo Man, Steve Blackman (in far better shape than he ever was when he was a regular), Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse, BOB FREAKING BACKLUND (58 years old here and looking to be in better shape than most of the roster), Gangrel, Goon, Skinner, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter and Gillberg, who gets a full entrance with guards and pyro sticks and canned chants. That’s AWESOME. This is supposed to be a 15 man battle royal but there are 16 in it. Eh who cares?

Gillberg is ganged up on and tossed immediately. Backlund is out quickly and the point of this isn’t who wins but is just for fun. A Head shot by Snow puts Doink out. Same for Gangrel. HEAD CHEESE EXPLODES!!! Skinner is called a fabulous one (haha) and there go Bart, Flash and Blackman. Repo Man puts Goon out and Skinner puts Repo out. Final Four are Slaughter, IRS, Skinner and Scotty. IRS gets his briefcase but gets it knocked into his face so we can see the Worm. Skinner puts Scotty out but walks into the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter dumps Skinner but IRS dumps Slaughter in the same ending from X7′s Gimmick Battle Royal.

BUT WAIT! Here’s Ted DiBiase, who is officially in the battle royal also. However, he says that IRS has his price so IRS dives over the top, making DiBiase the winner! And that my friends, is why Ted DiBiase is better than your favorite heel. We even get the evil laugh! The match isn’t worth rating because that’s not the point. The ending made me smile a lot though.

Rotunda isn’t a guy who had a lot of success in the ring but he was a solid midcard hand over the years. Time has tried to make IRS into a stupid 90s gimmick but it was really a decent gimmick and did what it was supposed to do. Rotunda was never going to be World Champion but not everyone is cut out to be.

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