Wrestler of the Day – June 20: Koko B. Ware

We’re going to look at a Hall of Famer today in Koko B. Ware. Why are you all laughing?

Koko has had a long career that started back in the late 70s. Here’s one of his first matches, from November 11, 1978 in Memphis.

Koko Ware vs. Steve Brody

Before Koko grew a B. I think we have a face vs. face match here as they shake hands before the bell. A quick rollup gets two on Steve so he cranks on the arm a bit. Koko gets to the ropes and hooks a headlock as this is still in first gear. They apparently don’t know much about changing gears as Koko hits three straight dropkicks for the pin. Quick match.

Next up is a match as a heel in Jimmy Hart’s First Family. Also from Memphis on December 27, 1980.

Koko Ware/Tom Meley vs. Tojo Yamamoto/Jimmy Valiant

This is actually an iron man tag match as they say it’s whoever has the most falls when we’re out of TV time wins. Koko is TV Champion at this point and starts with Valiant. Valiant loudly complains of hair pulling then pulls Koko’s hair to pull over. That’s heel psychology for you. Koko and Tojo are both really short. The heels double team Koko a lot and chop him even more.

A slam gets two for Valiant. Tojo tags out and literally is on the apron for 2 seconds before coming back in to chop Koko down for the first fall. We take a break and come back with Koko cleaning house to start the second fall. Finally off to Meley who charges at Valiant which goes badly for him. Elbow drop by Valiant makes it 2-0. Apparently that’s it.

Rating: D. This was a squash. Meley was nothing of note at all and got destroyed the whole time. I have no idea what the point was in having Koko getting beaten down that much and then lose clean but whatever. Tojo would become a big top heel in this company for years and would pop up in the late 80s in WCCW as well.

Koko’s most famous name before he became Koko B. Ware was Sweet Brown Sugar. Here he is in a match from January 8, 1983 with three other guys you’ve probably heard of.

Bobby Eaton/Sweet Brown Sugar vs. Jacques Rougeau/Terry Taylor

Rougeau is the Mid-America Champion and Taylor is the Southern Champion. Sugar is more famous as Koko B. Ware. Taylor and Eaton get going to start and things speed up, which you know is going to be at least moderately awesome. Off to Sugar who is immediately taken over in a headlock by Taylor. Rougeau comes in and things slow down a bit. We get a test of strength resulting in Rougeau monkey flipping Sugar down.

Back to Eaton who is taken down by another headlock as things slow down even more. Eaton has black hair here which is an odd look on him. The heels finally wake up and cheat to take over on Jacques. Taylor gets a quick hot tag and cleans house, only to get poked in the eye and taken down. Sugar works on his back and then the arm as the fans are WILD about Taylor. Back to Eaton with a knee drop for no cover.

Sugar comes in again and I think this is 2/3 falls. They’re really bad about letting us know these things in advance. I get that it’s a common thing of the era, but if you’re someone like me who doesn’t get to see this regularly, a little notification would help. Taylor finally gets away from Eaton and it’s off to Rougeau for a quick middle rope dropkick on sugar, good for the first fall.

We start fall #2 with Sugar taking over on Rougeau. Back to Eaton as Jacques is in trouble early on. After some quick offense from Eaton, Sugar comes back in for a fast chinlock. Rougeau misses a cross body out of the corner as Eaton ducks and gets two off of it. Jacques finally makes a comeback but doesn’t tag for some reason. Eaton trips him up coming off the top, allowing Sugar to drop an elbow on him for two.

Rating: C. There’s no time for a third fall so this is going to end in another draw. This wasn’t bad and it was fast paced enough, but I’m not a big fan of Koko and I’m certainly no fan of Taylor. Still though, this was certainly interesting enough to keep my attention for the last fifteen minutes of the show. Not great but not bad so we’ll go right in the middle.

Let’s make things a big more serious. From November 18, 1985, also in Memphis.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Koko Ware

Dusty Rhodes is sitting at ringside to mess with Flair. Koko is the Mid-America Heavyweight Champion. Ric grabs a headlock to start for a few near falls. Back up as the announcers talk about how special this is for Koko even though he’s been rather rude lately. Now it’s Ware with a headlock for a near fall as the match looks like it’s going to run long. Koko sends Flair down with a hiptoss and Flair is getting annoyed.

A knee to the ribs has Koko in trouble and it’s time for the chops in the corner. Koko wins a slugout with Dusty playing cheerleader and Flair bails to the corner. Ware wins another slugout and we get a Flair Flop for two. A cross body gets two on Ric and Flair bails to the floor, right in front of Dusty. Back in and Flair tries some amateur stuff but Koko pops back to his feet to frustrate the champion even more.

Back in and Flair takes over with a chop at the ten minute mark. A knee drop gets two for Ric and we hit a front facelock. Flair stomps away at Koko before putting on an armbar. The referee keeps missing Flair cheating as we take a break. Back with Koko punching out of a wristlock but getting chopped down with ease. A hammerlock slam has Koko in even more trouble but he fires back with even more right hands.

Flair chops away some more but gets caught in a sleeper. Ric goes down but his arm falls into the ropes on the third drop in a nice move. They slug it out again until Flair nails a belly to back suplex. The Figure Four goes on but Koko finally turns it over. Flair sends him out to the floor for a breather but Ware comes back in with a sunset flip for two. The knee drop misses and now Koko puts on a Figure Four of his own. A rope is grabbed so Koko nails his dropkick as Bill Dundeed comes out and posts Dusty. The distraction lets Flair hit a knee to Koko’s back for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but it’s clear that Koko isn’t the most well rounded worker in the world. This was over twenty three minutes long and most of Koko’s offense was made of headlocks and right hands. The NWA Champion going from territory to territory and defending the title against the local hero was commonplace and it was much more for the live crowd than the masses.

Koko would jump to the WWF and appear on the debut episode of Superstars on September 6, 1986.

Hart Foundation vs. Koko B. Ware/Paul Roma

This is Koko’s debut. It’s also Ventura’s first appearance since Wrestlemania too. Neidhart and Koko start things off and Koko armdrags him down. Off to Roma who doesn’t have as much luck because he isn’t that good. Bret, who is that good, comes in and pounds him down with ease. Ventura praises him and we get an inset promo from Koko who has nothing to say. While he’s talking the Hart Attack pins Roma. Vince calls it bad officiating but it seemed fine to me.

One of Koko’s first major matches was at Wrestlemania III.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Slick is here with Reed. That comes into play later. Reed overpowers him to start which is appropriate in a power vs. speed match. Koko comes back with that dropkick of his to send Reed out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the Bird Man’s ribs give Butch control again but Koko hiptosses him down. Koko pounds away and hits another dropkick for two. A run of the ropes proves deadly though as Reed rolls through a cross body and a hand`ful of tights pins Ware.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Koko was there as a warm body to lose to Butch. Reed was going to be the Intercontinental Champion after Steamboat got done with it but Honky talked his way into getting the belt instead. This match was there only to set up the post match stuff which we’ll get to now.

Koko got to be Hulk’s Buddy of the Week on June 2, 1987.

Hulk Hogan/Koko B. Ware vs. Honky Tonk Man/Kamala

Hmm I wonder what’s going to happen here. Hogan and Koko clear the wing to start while Hulk waves his arms like a bird. Honky is the new IC Champion here apparently. Hogan and Kamala start us off properly. This is a dark match so they’re a bit off. You can tell Hogan turned it on a bit more for the TV cameras which is expected. Off to Koko and Honky now. There’s a feud no one was asking for.

The camera keeps cutting around here and it’s really not a good thing. Koko destroys Honky for a bit just because he can. Off to Hogan who comes off the middle rope with a double axe. Hogan vs. Honky could have been a decent house show feud. Jake Roberts is at ringside suddenly and tries to get the snake on Honky. Kamala comes in and Koko has to start diving out of the way.

Kamala wants a test of strength so Koko tags Hogan in. Yes, a face in the 1980s just showed some common sense. I’m shocked too. Hogan goes for a half nelson of all things and Kamala runs from the snake in the corner. Ok to be fair there are three managers for the heels (Fuji, Hart, Kim Chee) so having Jake out there makes sense.

Hogan pulls a heel move and kicks Kamala in the gut instead of going for a test of strength. Off to Koko misses a dive and the heels take over. Off to Honky and his basic offense. Kamala gives the daintiest tag I have ever seen. That was very amusing. His paint is coming off and I don’t think I ever remember seeing him like that. Armpit pinch of pain goes on by Kamala as Hogan tries to fire Koko up.

Kamala busts out a leap frog and then kicks Koko in the face. That was impressive. Honky gets a middle rope punch ala his cousin for two. Hogan gets a tag but the referee misses it. I love that move as it’s the easiest heat grabbing move in the world. It never stops working either.

Back to the rest hold for Kamala here as I think we all know what’s coming here. Honky tries to cheat so Hogan sprints (work with me here) over to drill him. Koko fights up and hits a dropkick to get some separation but Honky comes in to stop the tag. One of the most awkward middle rope elbows I’ve ever seen misses though and there’s the hot tag to get the crowd fired up. It’s a bunch of punches and the leg drop to Kamala to end it as you would expect.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t for everyone as it’s really just the same Hogan match that he had with five different partners around this time, but I think that’s part of the appeal to it. No one was looking for Midnights for Rock N Roll Express here and if you were you’re an idiot. This was a dark match to send the fans home happy. The faces were never in any danger and they weren’t supposed to be. The match was bad, but it did what it was supposed to and I can’t complain about that for the most part.

Koko was brought in to neutralize Bobby Heenan at Wrestlemania IV.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

There’s actually a story here. Heenan comes to the ring in a dog handlers’ outfit (remember the package from earlier?) because Matilda, the dog mascot of the Bulldogs, is back from being dognapped, presumably by the Islanders. Koko is there because when you need a filler, you call Koko B. Ware. We start with Dynamite vs. Tama but it’s quickly off to Haku vs. Davey Boy for a nice power match.

Davey slams him down a few times and it’s off to a quickly broken chinlock. Back to Tama who is gorilla pressed up and down and it’s back to Haku. Jesse: “Heenan seems to be saving himself.” Gorilla: “Yeah for the senior prom.” Did Gorilla just make a sex joke? I can feel my childhood crumbling as I type this. Koko comes in for some quick shots but it’s back to Dynamite for the clothesline that Benoit copied from him.

The Kid charges into a kick in the corner and here’s Heenan for the first time. He stomps on Dynamite, gets hit once in his padded suit, and runs away. That’s about what I expected. Tama tries a Vader Bomb but hits knees, allowing for another tag to Koko. He pounds on both Islanders but Haku takes him right back down. Tama comes in with a top rope chop and Heenan gets his second tag. Heenan chokes a bit but misses a charge into the post. Everything breaks down and the Islanders drop Heenan onto Koko for the pin.

Rating: C. I told you Koko was worthless in this. The stuff with the tag teams was pretty solid but the rest of it was as dull as you would expect. These six man tags with the Bulldogs in there don’t go that well for them but this was their last try at it. This was basically a comedy match and it was only kind of funny.

From the first Summerslam.

Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware

Boss Man is brand new here. This wasn’t included on the home video version for reasons that I’ve never figured out. It was probably a time thing though. Koko fires away to start and staggers the very fat Boss Man with a dropkick. Boss Man is one of the best cases of weight loss you’ll ever see as he lost probably 100lbs in a year and a half, making him MUCH smoother in the ring.

Koko charges into a front facelock and Boss Man pounds him down with a forearm to the back. A splash in the corner crushes Ware but Boss Man pulls him up at two. Off to a surfboard hold but Koko rolls forward and kicks Boss Man in the face. A stiff right hand puts Koko down again but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. Boss Man misses another splash in the corner and a missile dropkick gets two for Koko. Ware charges again but gets dropped face first onto the post, followed by the Boss Man Slam for the easy pin.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long for a squash early on in Boss Man’s run with the company. The match wasn’t terrible and Koko looked good with the high flying stuff, but therein lies the problem: there’s no reason to have Koko look so good here. He should have gotten destroyed in about three minutes as opposed to being somewhat competitive in twice as long.

Hogan remembered that he and Koko used to be friends and put him on a Survivor Series team in 1988.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.

They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).

Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.

Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!

Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.

Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.

Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.

Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.

Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.

Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.

His stock would rapidly fall after that and he would open Wrestlemania VI.

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Martel is now a model and THE RING CARTS ARE BACK!!! Rick jumps Koko to start things off and the beating is on fast. Koko comes out of the corner with a cross body for two and a dropkick to stagger Martel even more. Martel heads to the floor, only to be dragged right back in. He sends Koko to the floor though and things slow down a bit. Rick pounds away on the back and hits a middle rope shot to the back. A backbreaker looks to set up the Boston Crab but Koko makes the rope. Some rams into the corner don’t work because Koko is black you see. A middle rope cross body misses and this time the Crab ends Ware.

Rating: D+. Not much of an opener here but it was decent enough I guess. This would have been a dark match today I would guess. The interesting thing here is what you got on the clipped version. On that edition, the first Boston Crab was clipped to the ending of the second one. See how dangerous that stuff can be?

Here’s a TV match from Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVIII.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Koko B. Ware

I wonder how this is going to go. Slaughter just became a major heel at this time and we were in Desert Storm at the moment. You could always kind of tell that Piper hated this angle and supported the troops. Koko starts off kind of hot then realizes he’s Koko and gets beaten on.

He makes the short comeback but takes a hotshot and actually just drives his knuckles into the side of Koko’s head. It’s the dumbest looking finisher I’ve ever seen but it works. Then in a cool moment as Slaughter is waving the Iraqi flag, Stars and Stripes Forever kicks on and Nikolai Volkoff is waving the American flag. Awesome visual if nothing else.

Rating: D-. More dullness as I want this show to end. Koko continued his tradition of jobbing like there was no tomorrow. Slaughter wound up being world champion out of this so there you go. For the life of me I can never appreciate how strong the power of nostaliga can be. Koko just isn’t all that good.

Here’s a rare sight on January 21, 1991.

Tito Santana vs. Koko B. Ware

….why? In MSG here I think in the ultra rare face vs. face match. Heenan apparently flipped Koko off which is another rare thing for this period. Crowd is dead but they make sure to boo a handshake. They hit the mat and Tito gets a SWEET escape from a hold by Koko. The fans are on them already and to be fair the lack of heat between them hurts this a lot.

Koko is the default heel here because Tito is….well he’s Tito Santana. Koko won’t shake the hand again and they start shoving. Now the crowd is into things a bit more as Ware hammers away a bit and sends him to the floor. Into the post goes Tito as this is far better all of a sudden. Back in and they slug it out with Tito taking over. The taco must have worn off.

Off to the nerve hold as I guess Koko is part Samoan. After some weak neck work, Tito Hulks Up so Koko slaps him a bit. Punches work a bit better as Heenan is far more interested now. Top rope punch misses though and Tito makes his big comeback. After really basic offense the forearm ends this perfectly clean.

Rating: C-. Not bad but the opening part here was really boring. The story wasn’t horrible but at the end of the day, it’s Koko B. Ware trying to be aggressive and evil so how well do you think it’s going to do? Not horrible or anything but at the same time this didn’t work incredibly well and got pretty boring at times.

And a more common one from June 3, 1992. Koko is now part of a tag team called High Energy with Owen Hart.

Tatanka/High Energy vs. Money Inc/Rick Martel

We’re in Canada here and this is one of those matches where you take two minor feuds and throw them together for one match. High Energy is Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware in bright baggy tights. Tatanka had one of his feathers stolen by Martel for no apparent reason. High Energy were quick challengers to Money Inc. IRS does his usual tax thing to get us going.

Tatanka is a Lumpee Indian which Gorilla says sounded like Lumpy Indian, like Chief Jay Strongbow. That was hilarious. Owen and DiBiase start which in their primes would have been incredibly entertaining match. Now they talk about someone that works for Coliseum Video who wants free stuff or something. DiBiase gets an armdrag and we stop to applaud. Another gets more applause from Martel.

Gorilla and Hayes are having a great time talking about nothing to do with this match at all. Bret is world champion apparently at this point. Everything breaks down and the faces clear the ring. Back in now and it’s Owen vs. Martel. Martel turns his back and Tatanka comes in instead to hammer away a bit. I think they had a match at Survivor Series or Summerslam over this. According to Hayes the Cornwallians (we’re in Cornwall, Ontario) have EXPLODED!!!

Off to IRS vs. Tatanka now with the undefeated dude taking over. Off to the Hall of Famer Koko now. Who would guess that of these six he and DiBiase would be the only Hall of Famers? Gorilla says Koko has put on 25 pounds. Hayes: “And they’re all in those pants.” Now we talk about suspenders. See what I mean about the commentary here? Koko gets a swinging neckbreaker to get himself out of trouble.

Apparently Hayes is eating hot dogs and French fries instead of paying attention. Now we talk about fish and chips. Tatanka vs. Martel now as the commentary here is rather interesting. We’ve been in this for about seven minutes now and they’ve talked about the match for maybe 2 minutes. DiBiase takes part of the tag ropes off to choke Tatanka.

Tatanka gets the tar beaten out of him for awhile while Gorilla and Hayes make fun of High Energy for not doing much. Front facelock by DiBiase and the referee doesn’t see the tag to Koko. Tatanka gets a suplex to break things up and it’s off to Owen vs. DiBiase again. Everything breaks down again and the legal men hit the floor. Koko knocks IRS to the apron and tries to suplex him back in, only to have DiBiase hook the foot and IRS gets the cheating pin again.

Rating: D+. This was just a six man match at a house show. It wasn’t horrible or anything but it’s nothing worth anything at all. DiBiase and IRS were decent champions but Ted was clearly not what he used to be. High Energy never was worth anything and the feud with Tatanka and Martel never clicked at all. Still though, it filled in 15 minutes and wasn’t horrible.

The team would continue their run in the opening match at Survivor Series 1992.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware in really ugly pants. The Headshrinkers don’t get an entrance. I’ve always been a fan of the Samoans so I’m kind of looking forward to this. Samu and Owen start things off with Owen being thrown around pretty easily. Things speed up a bit and Owen avoids a big clothesline and hits a cross body for two. The fans are getting fired up.

Off to Koko who makes Samu miss a right hand which hits Fatu. Koko stomps on Samu’s bare feet but he tries to ram the Headshrinkers’ heads together but THAT DOESN’T WORK ON SAMOANS! No one ever accused Koko of being bright. Afa, the Headshrinker’s manager, CRACKS Koko in the back with his staff and Koko is in trouble immediately. Owen is draw into the ring by some Samoan bragging, only causing Koko to get beaten down even more.

Vince tries to talk about the main events and Heenan says stick to the subject. That’s a new one. Samu hooks a nerve hold on Koko but he’s too dumb to feel pain so it’s a clothesline instead and Ware is still in trouble. A chop gets two and Samu chokes a bit. Samu misses a corner splash and there’s the hot tag to Owen. Owen dropkicks both guys down and hits a top rope cross body on Samu for two. A spinwheel kick takes Fatu (Rikishi) down, only to get caught in a powerslam. Fatu hits a GREAT looking top rope splash to crush Owen and get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this match a lot more than I should have but I love the Headshrinkers. That top rope splash looked great and Owen sold it like the master that he was at it. Other than that this was a very basic match with power vs. speed and that’s the right choice for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it a lot.

One of Koko’s biggest claims to fame is he was in the first match ever on Monday Night Raw. From January 11, 1993.

Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna

Koko comes out to what would become Owen’s music which makes sense as they were partners around this time. I wonder what’s going to happen here. They swear on the air which might be a first. The tag line was uncooked, uncut and uncensored. I never got the uncooked part. How is that appealing? Bartlett just makes fat jokes about Yoko which makes sense. Vince is about as excited as humanly possible to be here. Bartlett makes jokes implying that Koko is Gary Coleman which is kind of funny but just out of place here. After Koko gets in no offense for about 4 minutes, the Banzai Drop ends this.

Rating: N/A. It was a glorified squash which is fine. I’m not sure how good this was for the first match in history but that’s fine I guess. This was just to push Yoko so that certainly accomplished its job. A lot of the earlier shows were almost all squashes so get used to it. People were happy when that changed for good in 1997.

We’ll wrap it up with a post retirement match from March 5, 2006 at the World Wrestling Legends show.

Disco Inferno vs. Koko B. Ware

Disco is doing even more of his gimmicky stuff than ever. Koko doesn’t have a bird with him. Frankie died a few years ago so there’s a possible explanation. Koko is fat again. Disco jumps him and thankfully they’re in shirts here. Disco is the heel here too. Koko has green hair so the announcers are trying to figure out what it might be.

Pretty much nothing but punches and kicks here. Chinlock sequence to Koko who gets to make the big face comeback. Disco is more concerned with his hair than with the match which is something kind of funny. He misses an elbow and here comes the Bird Man. Last Dance is countered into a bulldog for the pin. Longest match of the night so far at 4 minutes.

Rating: F+. Yeah it was just punching and kicking here but they didn’t try for anything special. This whole show is like that: it’s not about the wrestling but rather just being there and getting to come out to in front of the crowd one more time. That’s perfectly fine and they’re not trying to make this all serious like they did with Heroes of Wrestling. The result: this is fun.

Koko was one of those people who was good with a small audience but didn’t have what it took to hang on the big stage. He’s really fondly remembered because he had a cool pet and a good looking dropkick but other than that there really isn’t much there. He’s also one of the people that makes the Hall of Fame look bad. I’d call him harmless though as his matches were never terrible or anything. He just wasn’t all that special.

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