Slamboree 1999 (2014 Redo): They’re Making This Up As They Go Along

Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Things are going downhill in a hurry around here and the pay per views can be the biggest disasters they have. The main event here is Page vs. Nash for the title along with a Sting vs. Goldberg match that you had to pay attention to hear about. We also have Piper vs. Crazy Flair for control of the company, even though both have been fired in recent weeks. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your basic look at the three main events with a bunch of circles coming out of the middle of the screen. The rest of the card gets a quick focus as well.

The announcers do their opening chat.

Gene runs down the card as well and plugs the Hotline.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Saturn/Raven vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman and Mysterio are defending and this is one fall to a finish with three guys in the ring at once. You can only tag your own partner. Saturn and Kidman drop Malenko with a double clothesline to start before a dropkick puts Dean on the floor. Benoit comes in and gets dropkicked as well before Saturn nails Kidman with a dropkick. A huge belly to belly suplex sends Kidman flying out to the floor as the fans think the Horsemen suck.

Back in and Benoit grabs a German suplex on Kidman for two with Raven making a save. Rey comes in and throws Raven down before taking Chris down with a hurricanrana. Mysterio’s slingshot legdrop hits Benoit by mistake to give Raven two. Kidman and Benoit drop Raven across the top rope but the Canadian turns on his short term partner. This is really fast paced stuff so far.

Kidman misses a top rope splash on Benoit and gets caught in the Crossface until Raven makes a save. Raven hits a front suplex on Kidman so Saturn can nail a top rope splash but Dean makes a save of his own. Malenko throws Rey over his head but Mysterio lands on the top rope and moonsaults back onto Dean for two. Awesome spot. All six guys are in now but it’s quickly down to just Raven and Saturn.

The Horsemen come back in to clean house and double team Saturn. They do the same to the champions until we settle down to Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman runs Benoit over but Saturn crotches him on the top and runs him over, sending Kidman to the floor. Benoit runs Saturn over and knocks him out to the floor as well. Back and in and Benoit and Saturn collide to give Chris a two count. Benoit rolls some Germans but Kidman runs in for a last second save.

Saturn counters the Cloverleaf with a small package for two but Kidman makes another save. Dean spits at Rey to tick him off, allowing the Horsemen to run Kidman over. It’s back to the tagging again as the announcers are saying let the guys fight. A snap suplex gets two on Saturn and Benoit stomps away at Kidman. Dean comes back in and throws Kidman in the air, earning him a dropkick to the chest. Saturn tags Raven in for some rolling vertical suplexes on Benoit for two.

Kidman brings in Mysterio for some near falls and everything breaks down. A top rope clothesline drops Benoit and a springboard seated senton does the same to Saturn. There’s a Bronco Buster to Raven before the champs do the launched hurricanrana off the top to take down Benoit. They try it on Saturn but Mysterio gets planted with a super sitout powerbomb.

Kidman reverses a powerbomb from Saturn but Saturn calls for the Death Valley Driver. This brings in Anderson for the spinebuster to Saturn and Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Someone in a Sting mask, DDP shirt and backwards hat comes in to shove Kidman into the Evenflow to give Raven the pin and the titles.

Rating: B+. This was a really hot opener and I can’t imagine how good it was going to be if they let the guys go nuts like Tony was asking for. Either way it got the crowd into things and was the right way to end this long running feud. Raven and Saturn are the only ones that haven’t had the belts yet, though they didn’t need Kanyon’s help to get them.

The masked man was Kanyon.

Video on Page.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

This is due to Ray attacking Konnan a few weeks back. Ray hammers Konnan down in the corner to start but Konnan comes back with right hands and a float around bulldog for two. Back up and Stevie nails a big boot to take over before sending Konnan out to the floor for a beating from the Black and White. Stevie hooks a chinlock back inside before a suplex gets two. Konnan fights up for the rolling clothesline and X-Factor but has to knock Vincent off the apron. Mysterio comes out to try for a save but has to fight off the Black and White. In the confusion, Rey nails a top rope seated senton on Stevie to give Konnan the rollup pin.

Rating: F. A six minute Stevie Ray vs. Konnan match had a referee distraction and three people interfering for a rollup finish. The match was boring and WAY too much chinlock before all of the interference. It doesn’t help that the story was barely there, making the match feel all the more pointless.

Video on Nash.

Rick Steiner says he has a lot to prove.

Video on Sting, mostly with clips from 1997.

Page and Bigelow are in the back and have a conversation we can’t hear.

King of Hardcore: Brian Knobs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

I think the title is vacant coming in but you can’t really tell with this company. We get a bonus stipulation for the match: falls count anywhere. I guess that’s only standard in WWF hardcore rules. Neither guy has music. They start with the weapons early and Brian nails him with a waiter’s tray and cookie sheet. Bigelow botches raising his feet in the corner by kicking the trashcan when it’s down by Brian’s knees. Bam Bam puts him on his shoulder for something like a backwards suplex into a Diamond Cutter for two.

The top rope headbutt gets two for Bigelow as the announcers get in a stupid argument over talking when the weapons hit. Knobs misses a chair shot and falls out to the floor to really make it hardcore. Bigelow sends him into the steps and hits Brian with various metal weapons. He uses a pair of trashcan lids like cymbals around Knobs’ head and hits a LOUD cookie sheet to the head.

Both guys are already looking spent. Bigelow is sent into the weapons cart but Brian misses a charge into it as well. Brian gets a mop bucket put on his head and a punch makes things even worse. The fans want tables but get a chair to Knobs’ ribs instead. They fight over to the souvenir stand that is there for them to fight in. Off to backstage (complete with a shot of about 10,000-15,000 empty seats. Remember that this is a football stadium) and swing a ladder at each other. Knobs dives off a ledge onto Bigelow to drive him through a table. Naturally he jumps too far and just crashes because this match is a disaster. Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the win.

Rating: D-. Heenan’s line of “And they do this for a living” sums up the whole thing. The fact that these people make more money than I likely will in years makes me feel very very sad, though that might be due to the last twenty five minutes of whatever it was that I’ve had to sit through. Between Stevie’s lame chinlock and this mess, I need something good to cleanse the pallet.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker T. THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!! They’re fighting because Booker is champion and Rick Steiner is employed for some reason.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner

Booker is defending. They circle each other for a minute or so until Rick hammers him with right hands and a belly to belly suplex. Booker bails to the floor for a breather as the crowd is silent. Back in and Booker fires off some kicks with a spinning shot to the face putting Rick on the floor again. Steiner head back inside and gets elbowed in the jaw for two before the champ puts on a chinlock.

They head outside a third time with Rick sending him into the barricade over and over. A release German gets two for Steiner and he hammers away with right hands on the mat. Booker tries to fight back but gets elbowed into the corner to keep him in trouble. Back to the chinlock on the champion before a hard kick to the face drops Steiner again. The sidewalk slam sets up the missile dropkick but Scott Steiner runs out for a distraction. Rick gets two off a Steiner Line but Booker sends the brothers together. The side kick gets two and Booker is fired up, until Scott grabs his foot. The Steiner Bulldog gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Can anyone explain to me why the Steiners are both champions in 1999? He’s had like two matches back and he gets to pin Booker T. on PPV? It’s getting really frustrating watching Booker have consistently good matches (when he doesn’t have a horrible opponent of course) and have to keep rebuilding himself up because WCW keeps wasting him.

We recap Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson. This is a side feud of Savage vs. Flair who are feuding for reasons not quite clear. Robinson is Little Naitch here and has been calling George a bimbo.

Rick looks for Scott in the back and warns Buff Bagwell to be careful tonight.

Charles Robinson vs. Gorgeous George

If George wins, Savage is reinstated. Robinson is doing a perfect Flair impression here, complete with the smirk and strut. The nurse is now named Asya (oh so funny) and Flair is at ringside here. Charles’ fingers are even taped up. Thankfully George isn’t dressed like Savage. Flair says he’s always wanted Madusa to ride Space Mountain and Miss Madness can come with her. George is being left to Little Naitch though and Charles says he’ll let George ride Space Mountain all night. Savage gets on the mic (pop of the night so far) and says George is going to destroy Robinson.

We get started and Charles is now in regular Flair gear. They stall for about a minute and Naitch avoids the lockup and WOOs. Well woos actually since he’s Little Naitch. Robinson gets in Savage’s face so George cranks on his arm. They trade wristlocks with George cranking on a hammerlock followed by a full nelson. She shoves the Nature Boys together and the big guys get in for a staredown.

Robinson and Miss Madness fight over a chair on the floor. Naitch shoves her down and slams her so Savage calls for a medic. The regular referee shoves Robinson down as the match kind of stops for a bit. Back in and Robinson chokes George on the ropes before being sent into the corner for a Flair Flip. He runs the apron and goes up, only to get slammed off the top. George nails a clothesline and the Flair Flop sets up a two count.

Asya trips George up and cranks on her knee but Kung Fu Madusa makes the save with a kick to the head. Robinson goes after the bad leg and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL! He puts on the Figure Four but George turns it over. Flair sneaks in to save Robinson but Savage slams Robinson, setting up the top rope elbow from George (so much for the leg) for the pin.

Rating: C. Well they tried. That’s more important than anything else here and the match was WAY better than it could have been. This could have been a disaster and it wound up being a fun little match. Robinson nailed the impression and George looked great in her cheerleader outfit. Again, they tried and that’s what matters in something like this.

We recap Steiner vs. Bagwell, which stems from Steiner blaming Buff for losing the TV Title and Buff saying Steiner’s ego was out of control.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Buff is challenging and jumps Steiner before he can get to the mic. A swinging neckbreaker drops Scott while he still has the belt on. Steiner drops Buff with a low blow and the muscle clothesline gets two. He plants Buff ribs first against the turnbuckle before tying him up in the Tree of Woe to crank on Bagwell’s neck. Scott chokes and swears a lot before planting Buff with a butterfly powerbomb for two. Total dominance so far.

There’s a belly to belly but Scott goes outside and grabs a chair. Buff clotheslines it into the champ’s face before making his comeback with a dropkick. There’s an atomic drop but Scott pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. Cue Rick Steiner to chair Buff into the Recliner to keep the title on Scott.

Rating: D. Erg this show is trying to drive me crazy. I have no idea why WCW thinks the Steiner Brothers being together (after never having a real match against each other) is a good idea, but this is what they’re going with to combat Austin and Rock vs. the Corporate Ministry. They deserve what they get.

Video on Goldberg.

Video on the two singles matches people might want to see. That would be Sting vs. Goldberg and Nash vs. Page if it’s not clear.

Video on Flair being the crazy president. I’m sure the fans must be loving this.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

For the Presidency. Charles Robinson comes out to be referee and Johnny Boone is fired for the heck of it. Piper slaps Flair down to start as Tenay tries to make sense of who has been fired. Tony: “Who knows?” Ric is knocked to the floor but Robinson won’t let Roddy go after him. Back in and they trade chops in the corner until Piper punches Flair down. They head outside with Piper throwing more chops against the barricade to keep control.

Back in again and a low blow puts Piper down. Robinson: “You got a stomach ache?” He yells at Piper for choking before turning his back so Anderson and Asya can get in some shots of their own. Another low blow drops Roddy but Flair takes forever to cover, allowing Piper to make his comeback. He can’t follow up after a backdrop though and Anderson chokes him on the ropes. Roddy fights back with chops to Ric’s chest and Flair flips over the corner and out to the floor.

That’s a bit too much work so they head back inside for a collision to fall on the mat. Flair is up first and starts going after the knee as this match just won’t end. A cannonball onto the leg sets up the Figure Four but Piper quickly turns it over. Ric sends him outside again but gets his trunks taken down on a sunset flip attempt.

The worst backslide in history gets no count as Robinson is with Anderson and a small pile of unfastened boxes (there’s no package to it at all) gets the same. Piper puts on the Figure Four and Flair shouts that he gives up but Anderson comes in for the save. Roddy slaps a sleeper on him but has to let it go to put it on Ric. Asya comes in for the save and gets kissed and put in the hold as well. Piper finally nails Robinson but gets hit with a foreign object as Robinson gets up just in time to count the pin.

Rating: F. This was on pay per view in 1999 so it’s a failure on principle alone. On top of that, the match was a disaster with the spots being totally blown and neither guy looking like he had the energy to last three minutes let alone the twelve this got (third longest match on the card). Horrible match, but we’re not done yet.

Eric Bischoff comes out for the first time in months and says he isn’t screwing this up. He declares Piper the winner for reasons that aren’t explained. Why he has the authority to do this (remember that he had his power stripped), why he’s suddenly good (not explained) and why he did this (ok to be fair there are about a million reasons to disqualify Flair. I’ll give him that one) aren’t explained. Piper immediately fires Flair and thanks Bischoff for what he did.

Very quick video on Goldberg vs. Sting in case you didn’t catch the other three of them.

Sting vs. Goldberg

The announcers spend the entrances trying to explain the Bischoff stuff. Feeling out process to start with Sting trying to escape a powerslam but falling out of the air. A powerslam puts Sting down again and Goldberg clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Sting ducks a superkick and hits a dropkick to stagger Goldberg. A clothesline puts Goldberg outside as well and it’s a stalemate.

Back in and Goldberg puts on a cross armbreaker but Sting makes the ropes. Sting goes after the knee and drops all of his weight down onto it a few times. There’s a Boston crab but Goldberg powers out of it and sends Sting out to the floor again. Back in and Sting grabs a headlock as this is still in low second gear.

The headlock goes about as well as you would expect and Goldberg hiptosses Sting over. A horrible looking swinging neckbreaker drops Sting for two but he jumps to the top for a clothesline. The Stinger Splash is countered into a spinebuster which the announcers call a spear. Cue Bret Hart to beat up the referee and whack Goldberg with a chair for the no contest.

Rating: D+. This was really dull as they were just filling time until they got to the stupid ending. Sting vs. Goldberg is a match that should have headlined Starrcade at some point but instead it’s used as a plot device to get Bret Hart back on television, because you know WCW is going to use him right after a year and a half of wasting him.

Bret destroys Goldberg’s knee for a bit and leaves. The Steiners come out to beat up Sting and Goldberg because they’re the top villains now I guess.

Yet another Nash vs. Page video because three weren’t enough.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is challenging. Page tries a fast Diamond Cutter but gets shoved away, only to come back with rights and lefts. A big boot puts the champion on the floor before Nash brings him back inside for some slow right hands. Page fights out of the corner and keeps swinging away until Nash shoves him across the ring. A low blow stops Nash and Page uses the distraction to cut off a turnbuckle pad. That’s just a distraction to let Page hit Nash with the microphone for two.

Nash rolls to the middle of the ring and pulls Page face first into the exposed buckle. A very delayed cover gets two as both guys are still laying on the mat. They slug it out again and a clothesline puts Nash outside again. A Diamond Cutter on the floor lays Nash out, meaning we continue the lack of action. For reasons not quite clear, Page thinks this is falls count anywhere (he says that to the referee and is stunned when it’s not true). Back in and Page gets two with his feet on the ropes.

An elbow drop between Nash’s legs let Page pose even more. He goes to put on the Figure Four around the post but Nash kicks him into the barricade. Back in and Nash still can’t get up. The fans look at something in the crowd as Nash makes his comeback, complete with Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle. There’s the Jackknife but Savage runs in for the DQ.

Wait scratch that as Bischoff still has some authority and says keep going. They’re just making this nonsense up as they go aren’t they? Tony says this is No DQ even though Bischoff never said that. Page hits a Russian legsweep and a clothesline for two before puttnig on a horrible looking sleeper. Nash reverses into a hold that looks like he’s trying to rip off Page’s ear. The champ grabs a jawbreaker for two and gets a chair. The chair hits the top rope and nails Page in the head for two. Back up and the big boot and Jackknife give Nash the title.

Rating: D-. Another boring match which fits the theme tonight. We still have no explanation as to why Savage and Page are associates now and I can’t imagine we ever will. This was supposed to be about Nash getting revenge for Hogan, but given that it hasn’t been mentioned in weeks, I’m assuming WCW has forgotten about it. Bad match here with neither guy feeling interested in working.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t say a show with an opener that hot is a failure. This period of WCW has the biggest problem a wrestling company can have: it’s really uninteresting. The matches aren’t very good for the most part, but that sort of thing can be fixed. The problem here is the main stories range from really stupid to something that completely falls apart if you think about it for more than five seconds. Things are about to get even worse though and the few good spots are getting rarer and rarer.

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