This week’s show was a very strange mix of comedy, cancer, hot dogs and HODA’S CRAZY DANCE. You don’t know what HODA’S CRAZY DANCE is? Well you’re in for a treat because HODA’S CRAZY DANCE involves middle aged women drinking wine, dancing, and Hoda being CRAZY. Oh yeah and there’s some other stuff. Let’s get to it.
Rollins opened the show to talk about what Cena and Ambrose did to him last week. He knows he’s a marked man and wants Ambrose to come out here right now. This brings out a charging Cena for a fight and Rollins runs into the crowd. Since this is wrestling, Ambrose is right there in the crowd waiting for him. They brawled back to ringside where Cena got his hands on Rollins again until Ambrose dove on both of them, allowing Seth to escape. The Authority came in and made Cena/Ambrose vs. Orton/Kane/Rollins. Decent but I’m getting tired of these handicaps.
We recap Big Show and Rusev. Big Show had to undergo sensitivity training, which thankfully we only heard about.
Ziggler and the Usos beat the Dusts and Cesaro. My goodness how many times do we have to sit through combinations of these matches before we get to the Cell?
John Cena was on the Today Show to talk about the breast cancer stuff.
AND NOW IT IS TIME! Kathy Lee and Hoda from the Today Show came out as Rosebuds to sit at a table and drink wine (apparently it’s a thing they do on their show). They talk about how much fun they like to have and how crazy they can get. Kathy is happy because they can be crazy here unlike on the Today Show, so Hoda does HER CRAZY DANCE! It’s just her lifting her arms in the air and dancing in a circle and the fans react as well as you would expect. They do the Adam Rose apron fall and that’s it. No breast cancer awareness talk, no interaction with anyone from Rose, nothing.
This is the kind of stupid pandering that wrestling fans get tired of. The entire segment felt like a waste of time and little more than trying to get middle aged women to watch Raw. Here’s the problem with that: yeah you might get eighteen bored housewives to watch your show for five minutes, but how many of your regular viewers do you think changed over to Monday Night Football or ANYTHING else to not have to watch this? It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, and it feels so totally out of place that it’s not worth bringing these two in.
Same Luke Harper video from last week.
Mark Henry destroyed Bo Dallas again but got counted out. Nothing to see here.
Cena and Ambrose had their big talking segment and said they didn’t want to hate each other but would go after the other if they had a reason. Cena wanted to bury the hatchet for one night but Ambrose said he was hungry and was going to Coney Island for a hot dog. These two aren’t going to have a big emotional fight, but the match should rock either way.
Ambrose got on a subway and left the arena. HHH caught up with Cena and said Rollins would have to start the match so Cena could get his hands on him at least once. HHH’s “Man, kids these days” line made me laugh.
Brie Bella beat Summer Rae with an arm tied behind her back. Again, nothing to see here.
Miz and Mizdow sucked up to Kane with a fruit basket and got a match with Sheamus as a result.
Jack Swagger beat Tyson Kidd with the Patriot Lock because Natalya wouldn’t help Kidd near the end. I have no idea where this story is going and I really don’t care.
Edge and Christian have a special after Raw on the Network but don’t have much to say about it. I need to watch that.
Roman Reigns was live via satellite to say he’ll be back soon. Again, nothing to see here.
Now we get to the bad part of the show. Like, the REALLY bad part of the show: El Torito vs. Mini Gator. This wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, it didn’t have the Bunny (yeah it’s stupid, but are you telling me he’s not about a thousand times more interesting than these two?) and even the announcers ripped on it.
Rusev came out and got cut off by the Rock. I already wrote about this in detail so go here to read why this wasn’t a bad thing:
AJ walked out on Emma, causing her to lose to Paige and Alicia Fox. Why that makes AJ more of a face isn’t really clear but I’m sure it involves MIND GAMES. They should just air parts of Michaels vs. Mankind from Mind Games whenever these segments are on.
Erick Rowan has been set free as well. The interesting part of this was a shot of a pregnant woman with the words IT’S COMING written on her stomach. I’ve heard rumors about this and I like where it could be going.
Miz beat Sheamus with a rollup, likely setting up their next feud. There were several pro-Sandow chants here which could lead to something.
Joan Lunden, another cancer fighting journalist, came out to praise cancer survivors in the audience. Yeah it’s cool, but good night do these things bring the show down.
A Real Housewife of Atlanta is going to guest star next week. Dear goodness this is going to suck.
Cena beat the Authority via DQ when they triple teamed him. Ambrose made the save with a Coney Island hot dog cart and condiments were spilled. The good guys cleaned house until HHH came out and made Cena vs. Ambrose at the PPV with the winner getting Rollins inside the Cell. I like the idea and it gives us a way around a stupid triple threat. Ambrose laid out Cena to a huge reaction to end the show.
This show was all over the place. The main event storyline is interesting but these handicap matches are getting old in a hurry. We’ve seen every possible combination of these matches and almost all of them end up in a DQ. We get the idea already and there’s nothing new that they can say with them. Thankfully there’s a match for the PPV now, but there’s still more work to do with it. Ambrose almost has to go over Cena and then Rollins if they want him to have legs though.
Then you have Rock and Rusev, which likely isn’t setting anything up but how many people has Rock ever complimented in a promo? That’s some rare air and Rock gave him a great rub. “BUT RUSEV DIDN’T CRUSH HIM!” No, he didn’t, and people thinking he should have make me shake my head.
Above all else though, we have the celebrity stuff which is what drove this show off the rails. Look, I get why WWE is doing all their cancer charity stuff and, while it’s heavy handed, at least it’s designed to raise money for a good cause (and for WWE to go “LOOK AT US! WE’RE DOING SOMETHING GOOD!”).
That being said, these speeches just bring the show to a grinding halt. They make anything after feel awkward because you have these thoughts in your head about people dying of a horrible disease and how serious it is. That makes it kind of hard to care about a 6’5 pale guy shouting FELLA you know? I get why WWE does these things and yeah they’re important, but they’re so out of place on a WWE show. The fact that they’re all over the show doesn’t help things either.
Overall Raw this week had way more bad than good, but the good stuff has me excited. Things will get better once we get to November and can drop the cancer stuff. Hopefully the celebrities go with them because having a Real Housewife and that Chrisley Knows Best guy don’t make me want to keep watching. They make me want to go write about how much I hate reality TV and miss interesting wrestling. That’s a bad thing to have your fans saying but WWE seems to like the idea. Or maybe USA does but it’s the same result.
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