WWE Announcer Instructions Online

Oh now this could be fun. So what we have here is a set of instructions given to the announcers from a few years back. It should be VERY interesting to see some of these details and the rules/ideas they’re told to follow. I’ve read through the list and a lot of them aren’t worth commenting on, but there are some major points of interest. Check out the whole list as it’s interesting information that you will likely say “THANK YOU!” to more than once, but here are some highlights. All of the following are direct quotes.

Note that these are from 2011 at the latest so not everything is going to be completely up to date but it’s nothing out of the ordinary.  Here are the originals if you want to see them:

http://imgur.com/a/NW1WG#DWVb3Il

1. Play by play announcers cannot be emasculated by their broadcast partners.

WOW. They’re getting right to the hypocritical nature of this right off the bat. After all the time that we had to hear Cole rip on JR (even making it a recurring in ring segment), they actually told them beforehand to not emasculate their colleagues. Does Cole work on a different planet or something?

2. Announcers should rarely lead our fans. Let them decide for themselves if they like a Superstar or dislike him.

Yeah screw that face/heel stuff. I know Orton kissed HHH’s unconscious wife and lied about some mental disorder, but does that really make him a bad guy?

3. Announcers ARE NOT THE STARS.

I think we’ve covered this already but dang did they switch this up soon when Vince started liking Cole as Miz’s fanboy.

4. All announcers must read WWE.com every week.

That’s actually a really smart one. Announcers should sound like they know what they’re talking about and should be the experts guiding us through the shows. This is hammered in multiple times and is a very, very good idea.

5. Never assume the viewer watched last week’s broadcast or that they watch any of the other of the WWE brands.

This is one that a lot of big fans forget. Yeah we watch most of if not all of the shows, but there’s always someone flipping through the channels who might not have ever seen a wrestling show before. If they watch it and have no idea what’s going on, why would they keep watching? Get them hooked in and keep saying the details. You don’t have to recap everything, but “Owens has disrespected Cena week after week and Cena wants revenge” tells you almost everything you need to know about their feud in five seconds. Throwing in “Owens, on your left and Cena on your right” wouldn’t hurt either.

6. This is television, not radio. We don’t need to call every move a Superstar makes.

A-FREAKING-MEN! This used to drive me crazy about Joey Styles. I can see what’s going on and I don’t need to be told every single freaking thing that is going on. Cut that nonsense out.

7. DON’T SCREAM!

Yeah yeah yeah we know. You hate Jim Ross and think he was the worst thing ever. Let it go already.

8. Don’t call a move before it happens. If this is so predictable, why are we watching?

Dang Maggle. Steve Austin just kicked someone in the stomach and grabbed their head. You think he might be going for a snapmare next?

9. Our fans are always interested in what happens “in the locker room” or “away from the arena.”

Yes they are. What they’re not interested in is WWE trying to jack up their social media numbers by showing Ambrose walking around with the title on Instagram. Why you ask? BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE IS ON FREAKING INSTAGRAM AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA NUMBERS!

10. Humor is good when it is used in a timely fashion. We are there primarily to inform and entertain.

Wait….so this is Vince’s vision of NOT being funny? Who says that man is out of touch?

11. Do not use pronouns.

This is a rare occasion where speaking like Stephanie is a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with saying “Cena is in trouble” over and over, but you don’t have to use the proper names for everything.

12. Everyone hates being told what to think.

The hypocrisy here speaks for itself.

13. Nobody knows dates, everybody knows when “in two weeks”, “tomorrow”, etc is.

Yes, because everyone on the planet sees this show at the exact same time on the exact same day of the week right? Also, it doesn’t help when on Raw, you say a pay per view is in two weeks when it’s a week and six days. That’s not two weeks, no matter how many times you say it is. Yeah I know what you mean, but if someone is new at this, how do they know when it is? They’re watching this show on Monday, so why would they not think that a big show is going to be taking place in two weeks instead of a regular Raw? “Well that’s not how it works.” Really? It’s how NXT works. Why should a fan think Raw is different?

Words to Avoid

Belt/strap. This has been around for a long time and it’s still stupid. No one cares.

The business/our industry. Unless you’re HHH right?

War. Unless you’re HHH right?

Shot (no title shots). As I have said many times, WHO COULD POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT THIS???

Now for some memos.

Per Kevin Dunn: “Please never use the words “title changing hands” again. Titles are won or lost, they don’t change hands.”

As has been said time after time: Kevin Dunn is an idiot.

Sent by Steph: “Vince would like to reinforce to all announcers NOT to say “the referee didn’t see it” when the referee didn’t see an illegal action. It makes the product feel cheap, like we’re in grade school. It is ok to say “the referee’s vision was impaired”. Or “the referee’s vision was blocked”…

Cheap? How does this make it sound cheap? Or for that matter how does it make us sound like we’re in grade school?

The levels of micromanagement this company has astounds me. I mean, not being able to say a referee didn’t see something? That’s the biggest worry they have? I can easily see why no one wants to stick around on this job and I continue to praise Cole’s ability to not put a gun in his mouth.

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