Ring of Honor TV – September 2, 2015: I Didn’t Think You Could Screw Up A Cheeseburger

Ring of Honor
Date: September 2, 2015
Location: William J. Myers Pavilion, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: King Corino, Kevin Kelly

We’re coming up on All-Star Extravaganza where Lethal will again have to defend both of his titles in one night. That is of course assuming he makes it out of tonight’s TV Title defense against the powerhouse Hanson, who is one of the many people in line for a shot at one of the belts. Let’s get to it.

Adam Page vs. Jay Briscoe

Page has called Briscoe out for a few weeks for reasons that aren’t really clear. The announcers call Jay Briscoe a legend and one of the all time greats in Ring of Honor. If you’re talking just titles, Briscoe is pretty easily a mile ahead of anyone else and really is one of the best they’ve ever had. Page slaps him in the face instead of shaking hands. Jay actually offers another handshake and gets slapped one more time. Some left hands have Adam in trouble and he gets knocked to the floor for a suicide dive. Page’s young boy Colby Corino hits Jay in the back for the quick DQ at 1:45.

Page, who never took his vest off, throws a chair at Jay’s head and gives him the Rite of Passage on a pile of chairs. Mark Briscoe comes out for the save a few moments too late.

We recap Dalton Castle vs. Silas Young, which has evolved into a battle over Castle’s boys.

Castle will be silent no longer and is going to come crashing down on Silas Young like a thousand foot wave from the hand of Poseidon. The boys can be on the line, but if Castle wins, Young becomes one of Dalton’s boys. That makes things more interesting.

Cedric Alexander vs. Caprice Coleman

These two used to be partners. Before the match, Cedric sends manager Veda Scott to the back so Coleman gets in a verbal jab at her expense. The livid Cedric gets punched in the face and slammed into a rollup for one. Veda is still on the floor, which is certainly not a bad thing. She offers a quick distraction and Cedric kicks Coleman’s head off as we take a break.

Back with Cedric chopping his former mentor and cutting off a comeback. Coleman sends him outside for a hurricanrana before bringing Cedric back in for a second hurricanrana and a near fall. Cedric’s Michinoku Driver gets two so Veda slips him the wrench, only to have Stokely Carmichael (Moose’s manager) come out and drop Veda, allowing Moose to take the wrench away. The distraction lets Coleman come off the top with the Sky Splitter (Rough Ryder) for the pin at 8:08.

Rating: C-. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about either of these guys. They’re both very stereotypical Ring of Honor guys: good enough hands in the ring but lacking presence and any reason for me to be interested in either of them. Veda is much more interesting than both of them, but that’s not really saying much.

Moose KO’s Cedric with the wrench. Prince Nana comes out and hands Coleman an envelope.

Brutal Bob Evans vs. Cheeseburger

This is one of those feuds that just won’t die. Evans swears at Cheeseburger to start so Cheeseburger ducks a chair shot and hits a flip dive off the barricade to start. They get inside and Evans begs off, only to send Cheeseburger into the corner. Evans pulls Cheeseburger up at two so he can keep up the beating. A shoulder block gets two for Bob but Cheesburger kicks away from the mat. Bob heads outside to load up a table but Cheeseburger smacks him off the apron and through the table instead, earning a countout.

Rating: D-. What a waste of time. They really hammered in the idea here and it’s not a very good one. These two have been feuding for months and I have no reason to care. Cheeseburger is smaller than Spike Dudley and comes off as a waste of time more than anything else. Total waste of time.

Jay Lethal promises to beat Hanson so badly tonight that Hanson’s dog is going to run away and Hanson is going to lose his house. I loved that line.

TV Title: Hanson vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is defending and Bobby Fish, who will be facing the winner of this at All-Star Extravaganza, is on commentary. Hanson throws Lethal around to start and kicks his head off with a big boot. The champ’s chops have no effect so Truth Martini offers a distraction, allowing Lethal to dropkick him out to the floor. A suicide dive from the champ takes us to a break.

Back with Lethal snapping Hanson’s throat across the top rope by the beard and slapping on a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Hanson comes back with a nice gutwrench slam. A cartwheel into a clothesline gets two on Jay as the announcers talk about the grind of being a double champion. That’s how you tell stories on commentary instead of talking about England winning some competition in some sport that isn’t clearly defined.

Hanson’s Bronco Buster is countered with a raised boot, followed by Jay’s top rope elbow for two. Hanson tries his Lethal Injection and only kind of botches it, followed by a moonsault which hits Lethal’s knees. Fish brings up the obvious point: shouldn’t that hurt Letha’s legs? Two straight Lethal Injections (the Tajiri handspring into a Diamond Cutter. Doing it twice doesn’t make it any less stupid looking) retain Jay’s title at 11:27.

Rating: C-. Just ok here as it was mainly a quick challenge for Lethal to get out of the way. You have to let him win a match or two like this every now and then, especially when Lethal has a bunch of bigger matches coming up. I really liked the announcers talking about how Lethal is trying to do too much as that is the most logical place to take the story.

Lethal talks trash about ReDRagon so Fish gets on the apron and is quickly joined by Kyle O’Reilly (a future World Title contender). Roderick Strong comes out to stare Lethal down as well and the champ runs off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m having a really hard time caring about a lot of these stories. Lethal’s stuff is more about getting to the point where he collapses under the weight of everything he’s trying to do. That can make for a good long story but it’s not working for a one off week. The rest of the matches didn’t do much for me, save for the opener which set up something interesting down the line. These stories aren’t doing it for me, but I had a really good time with the Tag Team Title stuff, mainly because it was all self contained and I didn’t need to see a bunch of other shows to get the idea. Easily fixed, but not a great show.

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