Monday Night Raw – December 27, 1993: Maybe Undertaker Is Bad At His Job

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 27, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jacques, Pierre

It’s the final show of the year and that means….well nothing really as one of the major matches announced for this week is Marty Jannetty vs. Johnny Polo. I have no idea why that’s supposed to make me want to stick around and watch the show but no one ever accused 1993 of making sense. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Yokozuna/Ludvig Borga vs. Lex Luger/Tatanka in what should have been a pretty hot house show feud. I don’t think it ever happened on TV, even though it should have been a layup.

The announcers preview the show and it’s as weird as it would seem to be.

Lex Luger vs. Barry Horowitz

Luger sends him into the ropes as the announcers speak a lot of French for the running joke of the show. I mean, it’s not a funny joke but it is in fact a running joke. Barry pokes him in the eye to get out of some arm work as we hear about Bret and Owen Hart getting a Tag Team Title shot at the Royal Rumble. Horowitz actually gets in some offense as the Quebecers switch over to Spanish. Lex shrugs it off and grabs a powerslam before finishing with a superplex.

Rating: D+. Better than I was expecting here with Barry getting in a good amount of offense. The superplex was a good option for a finisher instead of the Rack, which I believe Borga was using at this point. It’s always cool to see a simple move used as a finisher and it’s not like it’s hard to do. Just let the move get some pins and it’s instantly a finisher. Why is that so complicated?

We look back at Johnny Polo interfering in a match between the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty, causing a double countout.

Polo brags about beating both the Kid and Jannetty at the same time so tonight it’ll be easy to beat Jannetty on his own.

Marty Jannetty vs. Johnny Polo

Polo actually gets a takedown to start (Jacques: “Isn’t that two points? Call the Steiners!”) and scores with an armdrag for good measure. Marty comes back with an atomic drop for the funny selling and it’s off to the arm. A missed charge sends Marty outside in a heap though and Johnny does a fairly scary scream into the camera. Back in and they collide as this is already going longer than I was expecting. Can you imagine Ricky Steamboat vs. Mr. Fuji going this long? Then again that was a Kung Fu Challenge and not a match so it’s not the fairest comparison.

Marty’s jumping back elbow sets up a high crossbody for two. Polo gets dropkicked outside so Pierre goes to check on him, earning himself a baseball slide. A second distraction fails and Marty gets in a superkick but opts to dive onto Pierre like a villain would do. Back in and Marty grabs a sunset flip but Pierre holds Polo’s hands to give him the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s quite the long match but I always like Polo as he was just having a blast making fun of everyone. It’s always cool to have a manager who can wrestle a match if the need arises as it can add a lot of options to the stories. Not a terrible match here but WAY longer than it needed to be.

Pierre is ejected….from commentary. Can a referee do that? Isn’t that taking your job a bit far? Especially when it’s not even in a match.

Yokozuna dreams about being Santa Claus and wakes up, realizing it was only a nightmare.

Doink the Clown vs. Spike Gray

It’s clearly no longer Matt Borne playing the character as he’s taller and skinnier than he was a few weeks back. Before the match, Dink gives Doink some gum. Spike gets some as well but it’s something like a mini-mousetrap. Dink kicks him in the shin, which isn’t a DQ because the referee is probably too busy ejecting the popcorn vendor from section 138 because he’s a power mad nutjob. Dink punches Gray in the face, setting up a German suplex for the pin. How in the world are these two supposed to be faces? I mean, clowns are evil by definition and now they cheat? Think this stuff through Vince.

The Royal Rumble Report fills up time. The only new stuff here is the Hart Brothers saying they’ll win the Tag Team Titles.

Crush vs. Mike Moraldo

Crush knocks him down without much effort to start as the announcers talk about the Quebecers vs. the Hart Brothers. Talk about a match that would really set the company on fire down the road. The head vice ends Moraldo without too much effort.

Undertaker is still making that casket. I had no idea it took that much effort to put one of those things together. Or maybe Undertaker is just really bad at his job and should take up something else. Like motorcycle maintenance.

Bret tells us to not drink and drive.

We look at Alundra Blayze defeating Heidilee (yes it’s one word) Morgan for the Women’s Title. This looked like every bad women’s match you would have seen in this era.

Kwang is coming. Hopefully he leaves even faster.

Razor Ramon vs. Derek Domino

Non-title and non-gold chains for Ramon. Razor start with the driving shoulders but Derek makes the mistake of slapping him in the face. Domino (whose singlet is half down for some reason) gets sat on the top rope for a super fall away slam. Razor slaps him in the back of the head a few times and grabs the abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so it’s the super belly to back into the Razor’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah fine as Razor continues to be one of the best midcard acts of all time. The belly to back superplex is something that doesn’t get the credit it deserves as Razor just tosses people around with the thing. You can hear all the talk about Shawn Michaels and the Intercontinental Title and that’s only going to lead to good things all around.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t the kindest month to Raw but since the show debuted less than a year ago, it’s not like they have a lot to compare it to. The longer matches were a bit better this week though and there was no Men on a Mission or Jeff Jarrett so we’ll call this a slight improvement over last week.

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1 comment

  1. Sagar says:

    “Kwang is coming. Hopefully he leaves even faster.”

    LMAO! 😀