Monday Night Raw – May 8, 2017: Wake Me When We’re Back Home

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 8, 2017
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

We’re over in the old country tonight for a taped show. It’s roughly a month away from Extreme Rules and we don’t have much of a card yet. However, you can pretty much pencil in Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman coming back from severe injuries to work the show because that’s how WWE works. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to open the show who says Kurt Angle won’t be here tonight. Dean: “I heard his dog is sick or something.” For tonight though, Ambrose is in charge. Before we can hear his first act, here are Miz and Maryse to interrupt. While the idea of Ambrose in charge could only lead to chaos, he has something else in mind. Before the show, Stephanie McMahon called him to say that Miz is in charge this week instead.

Ambrose says Miz is in the first match tonight and offers a handshake but here’s Strowman with his arm in a sling to interrupt. He wants Reigns as soon as possible and then he wants Brock Lesnar. This brings out……Kalisto, to say he wants Strowman tonight. Ambrose makes the match but Braun says he’s injured. Dean heard Strowman say he could beat Kalisto with one arm though so the match is on. As for Miz, he can face Finn Balor next.

Miz vs. Finn Balor

Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in to take a dropkick to the face. Another trip to the floor doesn’t go as well for Miz as he gets dropkicked into the barricade. Maryse pulls her husband away from the Coup de Grace and we take a break. Back with Miz getting in a short DDT for two of his own and it’s off to the chinlock. Balor comes back with the Pele, followed by another kick to the head to put Miz on the floor.

Miz is reeling but a Maryse distraction lets him shove Balor into the referee. As acting GM of the night, Miz can’t tolerate referees being abused so that’s a DQ at 9:57. Actually not so fast as Ambrose comes out and says we’re not doing it like that. The match restarts and Balor hits a Sling Blade, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin at 12:31 (counting the break in between the falls).

Rating: C-. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of this going forward but it wasn’t the strongest match in the world. Then again that’s what you have to expect from Miz. While I’m not wild on having the #1 contender lose a match, you have to factor in the UK crowd. Not a bad match or anything and the more they build up Balor, the better things are for them.

Nia Jax scares Alexa Bliss again but they seem to be ok.

Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

Non-title with Nia Jax and Bayley are the respective seconds. Cole actually mentions Bliss and James working together on Smackdown a few months back in a fact I didn’t expect to hear. Bliss gets kicked around with ease to start and Bliss gets knocked out to the floor for an early break.

Back with Bliss working on an armbar and twisting Mickie down by said arm for two. Naturally Bliss gets in some trash talk but misses a knee drop onto the arm, allowing Mickie to start the comeback. The chokeshove is countered into a flapjack as Bayley and Nia get in a fight. Not that it matters as Bliss pulls Mickie off the top for a crash and the pin at 9:15.

Rating: D+. As usual Bliss’ mannerisms and heel work outshine her in-ring abilities and that’s a good thing. She’s absolutely nailing the character right now and that’s much more important than being able to do thirty different holds. Bliss vs. Bayley II should be good as they’re such a natural rivalry, though you can’t keep Nia away from the title forever.

Nia destroys Bayley and James post match.

Miz yells at Ambrose, who tells Miz he can go home tonight. That’s not cool with Miz, who has a special MizTV later. As a bonus, Ambrose can fight Bray Wyatt.

Samoa Joe says Seth Rollins is now living on his terms. Cue Rollins for the big brawl.

Kalisto vs. Braun Strowman

Braun says he’s not wrestling this match and then kicks Kalisto in the face. Cue Roman Reigns though and we’ll say it’s a no contest at thirty seconds.

Three straight Superman Punches put Strowman on the floor but he still manages to kick a charging Reigns in the chest. Reigns gets the sling off the bad arm and sends it into the post over and over. A bunch of chair shots knock Strowman into the crowd. What a hero that Reigns is. I mean, assuming you believe WWE still sees him as a major face and aren’t just trolling the heck out of us anymore.

Goldust fires R-Truth up before their Tag Team Turmoil match. It seems that Goldust isn’t sure about the team’s future.

Tag Team Turmoil

It’s basically a gauntlet match with two teams starting and the winning team advancing to face a new team. The last team standing faces the Hardys at Extreme Rules. Enzo Amore and Big Cass start with Cesaro and Sheamus and it’s Cass vs. Sheamus to get things going. An early Empire Elbow has Sheamus in trouble and Cass throws Enzo at both guys for good measure. A quick Irish Curse drops Enzo though (Enzo: “OW OW OW!”) and we take a break. Back with Enzo catching Cesaro with an enziguri, only to have Sheamus pull Cass off the apron. A Sharpshooter makes Enzo tap at 6:45 and it’s Heath Slater and Rhyno in third.

The brawl starts in the aisle with Slater and Rhyno getting the worse of it. Slater is thrown inside for a top rope clothesline from Sheamus, who also kicks Rhyno off the apron. A Brogue Kick ends Slater at 10:35. Anderson and Gallows are in fourth as we take a second break. Back again with Cesaro muscling Gallows up for a delayed suplex. Sheamus gives up the hot tag though and everything breaks down with all four being dropped in just a few seconds. White Noise gets two on Gallows and we take a third break. Back with Sheamus hitting Gallows with the Brogue Kick for the elimination at 22:33.

Golden Truth comes out as the last team and Goldust hammers on Sheamus to start. That doesn’t last long though as Sheamus takes him down and works on the leg, leaving Cesaro to grab the Sharpshooter. R-Truth makes the save and hits a quick Lie Detector on Cesaro. The ax kick gets two but Truth misses a charge and gets rolled up for the pin at 27:48.

Rating: D+. This was much more long than good and showed how dull the tag division is on Mondays. Sheamus and Cesaro are talented and WAY better than I was expecting them to be but this made them feel like faces instead of the big time heels they’re supposed to be. The big problem here though is I had a hard time buying the idea that ANYONE other than Sheamus and Cesaro getting the win, especially after their interactions with the Hardys over the last few weeks.

Golden Truth gets beaten down post match but the Hardys come out for the staredown.

Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe

They head straight to the floor to start the brawl with Joe throwing him around, only to have Seth catch him with a clothesline off the steps. The fight heads back inside with Joe taking over and grabbing a suplex for two. Joe gets in a hard shot to the knee though and Rollins crumbles to the floor as we take a break. Back with Joe dropping a big knee and telling Rollins not to listen to the fans.

The Koquina Clutch is broken up with a jawbreaker and Joe is sent outside for back to back suicide dives. A springboard clothesline gives Seth two but he walks into the snap powerslam for two. Joe can’t powerbomb him though and gets caught in the falcon’s arrow. A turnbuckle pad is pulled off but Seth gets two off a superkick anyway. It’s Rollins being sent chest first into the buckle behind the referee’s back. Joe does it again in front of the referee’s back for the DQ at 14:12.

Rating: C+. The ending hurts this a lot but these two definitely have chemistry. You can likely pencil in the third match for Extreme Rules and that could be quite the fight if they’re given the right gimmick. I like that they didn’t have the match end clean and after the first one ended on a fluke, there’s a good chance that the third match is the real payoff.

Joe chokes him out after the match.

TJP vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville is on commentary. TJP chills on the corner to start so Jack headbutts the heck out of him. Back in and TJP starts in on the leg but gets dropkicked in the face for his efforts. The Detonation Kick is broken up though and TJP grabs a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted but you can see how far Gallagher has fallen. He’s barely getting a reaction in his home country where he should look like a star. When you lose almost every match you have though, there’s only so much that the home country crowd can do for you.

TJP goes after Jack again and puts him in the kneebar until Austin Aries makes the save.

Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox

They slap each other in the face to start before Fox gets two off her northern lights suplex. We hit the chinlock and the fans start looking at something in the crowd. Back up and Banks hits her running knees for the pin at 2:57.

Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title with Miz and Maryse on commentary. Bray punches Dean in the head to start as Miz talks about wanting to return prestige to the Intercontinental Title. Dirty Deeds doesn’t work so Bray suplexes him on the floor instead. Back with Bray getting two off a DDT until Dean hits a hard clothesline. Ambrose sends him outside for the running clothesline off the barricade and here are Miz and Maryse to ringside.

Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and Dean hits the top rope elbow. Miz grabs the Intercontinental Title for a distraction so Dean suicide dives onto him. Bray is smart enough to go after the distracted Dean, allowing Miz to hit Ambrose in the back with the title. Sister Abigail finishes Ambrose at 15:12.

Rating: D+. This was a long match to end a very long show. I can live with a dirty finish to set up a title match next week and Miz is someone you can buy as a threat to the title. I’m surprised Ambrose has held the thing as long as he has but it’s time for him to lose it. Adding Bray to the mix could be interesting as well.

Miz poses over Ambrose and hits the catchphrase to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I know this show isn’t going to get glowing reviews and I certainly see why. The show really wasn’t terrible but it was VERY long and drawn out. You could tell that this was all about setting stuff up for next week instead of doing anything interesting here. I was bored more than once tonight but I can always give the wrestlers a bit of a break based on the jet lag and being thrown off their games like this. It’s not a bad show but it’s really, really sluggish and that’s not good.

Results

Finn Balor b. Miz – Coup de Grace

Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James – Bliss pulled James off the top

Kalisto vs. Braun Strowman went to a no contest when Roman Reigns interfered

Sheamus and Cesaro won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating Golden Truth

Seth Rollins b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Rollins was sent into the exposed turnbuckle

TJP b. Jack Gallagher – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox – Double knees to the chest

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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2 Responses

  1. IC says:

    It’s ridiculous how they had Balor and Wyatt both on screen and not even acknowledge each other or further their feud.
    Truly a throwaway show.

  2. Jay H (the real one) says:

    Yeah they at least set up stuff for next week and heading into the next RAW PPV at Extreme Rules. I did like the Ambrose/Miz back & forth plus Seth Rollins/Samoa Joe was good. It sucks for Braun Strowman being out for a bit but hopefully he’s still primed to face Brock Lesnar in the Summer.

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