Lucha Underground – June 21, 2017: This Season is Way Too Long

Lucha Underground
Date: June 21, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s week #2 of the Cueto Cup Tournament, which likely means four more first round matches as we get closer to the round of sixteen. In other words, we’re still filling in time because this season is WAY too long and they don’t have anything else to use all these episodes on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the tournament and last week’s match. Oh and that whole Cage murdering Councilman Delgado thing.

Melissa Santos hits on Fenix but Marty the Moth is watching from behind a wall like the stalker he is. That being said, Melissa came up to see Fenix as he arrived so he shouldn’t know Melissa was there. That also being said, that might be the most logical things around here.

Cueto Cup First Round: Cage vs. Vinnie Massaro

Vinnie tries to slap away at the monster to start and that’s probably why he’s not booked around here too often. Cage unloads on him in the corner but a thumb to the eye actually gets Vinnie a breather. It’s just a breath though as Vinnie gets clotheslined to the floor, followed by a spinebuster back inside. The straps come down but Vinnie actually scores with an STO. For some reason he goes after Cage’s gauntlet though, earning himself a bunch of clotheslines in the corner. The Screwdriver ends Vinnie at 3:31.

Rating: D. This should have been more one sided as we’re coming off Cage murdering someone who seemed to be a major power on the show. Massaro is just a jobber and he played his part fine, but this should have been more of domination to really hammer home Cage’s newfound power/aggression.

Cage puts the gauntlet on and beats on Massaro a bit more. A chokeslam puts the bloody Massaro on the floor.

Another video on Rey Mysterio, this time focusing on his mask. They’re certainly treating the title match as something really important, which helps out a lot.

Johnny Mundo, in pants again, trains with kendo sticks.

Cueto Cup First Round: Marty Martinez vs. Saltador

Saltador is the one who looks like a black and white checker board and offers his arm so Marty can put on a hammerlock. Marty grabs the wrist but the odd Saltador walks through the ropes and to the apron for the break. A dropkick sends Marty into the ropes and Saltador ties Marty’s legs in the ropes to continue the odd offense. That’s cool with Marty though who throws Saltador into the wall at ringside to really take over. Fans: “LET’S GET WEIRD!” I’d prefer we get Chinese but I haven’t had supper yet.

Saltador comes out of the corner with an ankle scissors and a springboard hurricanrana, followed by a very loud superkick for two. Marty has had it with someone being odder than him so he grabs a German suplex, followed by an exploder into the corner. A double underhook into a gutbuster is enough to put Saltador away at 7:12.

Rating: D+. Saltador certainly was odd but Marty moving forward was all that made sense here. The good thing about a promotion like Lucha Underground is the fact that they have enough people and gimmicks running around that you can run a tournament with people you might remember, which keeps things from getting too boring. This was more entertaining than I was expecting and that’s a big positive.

The Rabbit Tribe worships Mascarita Sagrada but he shakes them off and leaves.

Marty hangs out in his Melissa shrine but his sister Mariposa shows up to scare him. She promises to hurt him if they wind up facing off in the next round.

Cueto Cup First Round: Pindar vs. Mascarita Sagrada

The much smaller Sagrada gets thrown around to start and I have a feeling that’s going to be a theme here. As you might expect, Sagrada comes back with a headscissors and armdrag, followed by a running flip dive through the ropes. Back in and Pindar scores with a pop up cutter before hammering away in the corner.

The SI SE PUEDE chants don’t do Sagrada much good but the really spinny headscissors does. Kobra Moon’s interference doesn’t do much good and Mascarita’s moonsault gets two. Pindar has had it with him though and it’s a superkick to knock Sagrada silly. Pindar tosses him into the air for an X Factor and the pin at 5:58.

Rating: C-. This was actually a bit better than I was expecting with Pindar being a good choice to beat the heck out of Sagrada. You can only get so far with someone Sagrada’s size being a featured performer in a tournament like this but at least he only lasted about six minutes.

Cueto Cup First Round: Mariposa vs. Fenix

Santos still has a thing for Fenix. Mariposa isn’t interested in a handshake but Striker is interested in talking as fast as he can and telling us what we can see for ourselves. A tilt-a-whirl DDT plants Fenix and knocks him to the floor for a hurricanrana. Back in and a springboard version of Mysterio’s sitout bulldog gets two. Fenix kicks her in the head for the same and palm strikes her silly, setting up the Fenix Driver for the pin at 5:48.

Rating: C-. Too short to mean much but it was nice to have some kind of storyline development aside from just this massive tournament. The match was decent enough flying around but they needed to do a little more than Mariposa being able to keep up with Fenix. At least Santos being in a story for a change is interesting.

Marty runs in and goes after Fenix, scaring Melissa again.

Overall Rating: D. So let’s recap: we’re taking away the most interesting thing Lucha Underground does and replacing it with short matches that don’t have time to really go anywhere. At least we’re halfway done with the first round but I have a bad feeling about how much time is going to be dedicated to this thing in the name of filling in all kinds of time on this never ending season.

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