Ring of Honor TV Results – July 19, 2017: The Low Card Hits a Low Level

Ring of Honor
Date: July 19, 2017
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana

We’re coming up on War of the Worlds in the UK and that means we need a pay per view card. You can almost guarantee that Cody will be defending the World Title against Christopher Daniels at some point but it might not be at the pay per view. If not, I have no idea who would be getting the shot instead. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Cody to open things up after Christopher Daniels’ comments were deemed inappropriate to air on television. Cody agrees that he does deserve it before moving on to Daniels, who isn’t that popular with the crowd at the moment. Daniels isn’t happy at the moment and it’s almost like he’s lost his smile (this is the same building where Shawn Michaels gave the Lost My Smile speech).

Cody still hasn’t signed a Ring of Honor contract and that means his family owns the ROH World Title. Fans: “TOO SWEET!” Back to Daniels, he’ll get his rematch but let’s make it 2/3 falls. Ring of Honor doesn’t care too much for him because he’s steroid free full time….and that’s it. Kind of an abrupt ending.

Punishment Martinez vs. Jonathan Gresham

The monster Martinez shoves him around to start but Gresham keeps charging at him, including a failed attempt at a guillotine choke. Martinez misses a running boot in the corner though and Gresham gets in a kick to the leg. He’s sticking and moving to start and it’s working about as well as that style can. Something like a headlock takeover frustrates Martinez again but Gresham yanks on his knee and it’s time to go after a target. A spinning backbreaker cuts Gresham off though and it’s time for a break.

Back with Gresham getting in a DDT and moonsaulting to the floor to drop Martinez again. The one footed stomp to the chest out of the corner puts Gresham down again though and a Falcon Arrow gets two. Jonathan is right back on the knee though including something like a reverse Indian deathlock (they’re both on their back) to send Martinez over to the ropes. A shooting star press gets two but Gresham goes right to an ankle lock. Martinez rolls outside though and counters Gresham’s dive into a Last Ride onto the apron. Back in and the Psycho Driver (inverted Samoan driver) ends Gresham at 9:25.

Rating: C+. Gresham is talented but he’s another name on a very long list of Ring of Honor talents who are little more than a guy in boots and tights. There’s nothing special about his character (Does he even have one?) and that keeps him from standing out from the crowd like he needs to do. The match was good, though I really don’t know about Martinez selling so much.

Martinez goes after Gresham post match until Jay White runs in for the save.

We look back at Best in the World where the Briscoes and Bully Ray lost the Six Man Tag Team Titles. After the match, Bully yelled at the Briscoes for the loss because Jay lost his cool and Mark got pinned. It’s a TEAM you see. Well so are the Briscoes Bully.

Mandy Leon announces a Women of Honor show in two weeks but Silas Young comes in and announces 22 days since Jay Lethal was injured.

Tempura Boys vs. Cheeseburger/Joey Daddiego

Riccaboni: “Listen to the ovation here in Lowell.” All I heard was pure silence but that’s just me. The announcers ask where the beef is and make Burger King references as the Boyz jump Cheeseburger and Daddiego to little effect. Daddiego throws Sho with a fall away slam and does the same to Yo for two. The Boyz come back in with a Backstabber to Cheeseburger and Yo gets two off a standing moonsault.

Cheeseburger gets beaten down even more as the announcers talk about the tag division. Sho gets thrown onto Yo and there’s the hot tag to Daddiego. It’s right back to Cheeseburger as everything breaks down. A spear drops Yo as the stupid fast food jokes continue. The Shotei palm strike ends Sho at 3:58.

Rating: D. The Tempura Boyz continue to be one of the least interesting tag teams I’ve seen in a long time. I have no idea what’s supposed to be interesting about the two of them, save for the fact that they’re from New Japan and therefore must be awesome. No one in this match feels important as Cheeseburger comes off as someone they put out there for the sake of a smile without being comedy relief. Cheeseburger just kind of comes and goes while still being popular and it’s still nothing I can bring myself to care about.

Post match Will Ferrara jumps Cheeseburger.

We look at Jay White beating Punishment Martinez a few weeks back.

Bullet Club vs. Bully Ray/Briscoe Brothers

Young Bucks and Adam Page here in what was supposed to be a title match until Bully and the Briscoes lost the titles. Jay forearms Adam to start before it’s off to Mark for some forearms of his own. The Bucks get in some double teaming, including a springboard crossbody, to take the Briscoes down and it’s off to an early break.

Back with Bully staring the Bucks down and Matt making the mistake of chopping him in the chest. Matt offers up his own chest but pokes Bully in the eye before the big chop can hit. Again, the Bucks are presented as the smartest heels in the history of ever and the faces all have to look stupid for the sake of TOO SWEET chants. Bully comes back with the chops and stereo Flip Flop and Fly jabs. Say it with me though: double SUPERKICKS put him down and it’s back to the too sweet chants.

The Rise of the Terminators is loaded up but the Club is pulled outside for a suicide dive from Jay. Mark adds a moonsault to the floor and Bully loads up a dive of his own, only to have to deal with Page. More superkicks put him down though and it’s time for the Bucks to hit some dives because they haven’t gotten to show off in all of a minute. Things settle down with Bully getting triple teamed, including the kicks to the head in the corner.

We take another break and come back with Bully breaking up What’s Up. The hot tag brings in Mark for a fisherman’s buster on Nick but the ref gets bumped. The three man 3D gets two from a replacement referee, earning himself a double superkick. Cue Marty Scurll to hit Jay in the back with the umbrella to give Page the pin at 10:01.

Rating: C-. It really is amazing how much different the ROH Bucks are to the New Japan Bucks. This version is nothing but superkicks and flip dives while making themselves look as cool as possible. The New Japan version is actually a polished high flying team that I have fun watching. I guess that doesn’t sell as many t-shirts though so this is what we’re stuck with stateside.

The Briscoes beat up security and Bully is disappointed to end the show. I could go for a Briscoes heel turn.

Overall Rating: D+. This one missed pretty badly as it was definitely the B level guys (at best) doing their thing while the bigger names were too busy. Cody’s cameo and speech were the best parts of the show but that’s not enough to make up for some lackluster stuff elsewhere. The fact that we’re also coming up on another Women of Honor show doesn’t help things. The women try but when they’re on TV two or three times a year, it makes the shows feel like a waste of time. They’re trying though and that’s on the company rather than the talent. Anyway, nothing to see here but that’s often the case around here.

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