Smackdown – December 5, 2017: Stop Being So Lame

Smackdown
Date: December 5, 2017
Location: Valley View Casino, San Diego, California
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s back to the blue side this week with the continuing issues between Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens and Shane McMahon. The question is now becoming where Daniel Bryan fits into this whole thing, which could open up a bunch of new directions as we move forward. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Sami and Owens to open things up so we look at a clip of Zayn helping Owens defeat Randy Orton last week. Owens talks about what happens when you’re the victims of a McMahon Family grudge and how they’re the latest names on that list. This all stems from humiliating Shane in their Cell match and the plan didn’t even work. They’ve beaten Shane at every turn, which really isn’t all that hard.

Sami explains the differences between being in the ring and being at ringside before walking up the ramp, saying that’s no longer being at ringside. Therefore, he didn’t break Shane’s ruling last week and everything is fine. With Sami in the aisle though, Orton sneaks in with an RKO to Owens.

This brings out Shane, to make Sami/Owens vs. Orton/a partner of Randy’s choosing for Clash of Champions. As for tonight, Sami can work off some energy by facing Orton in a one on one match. Just to keep an eye on Owens, he’ll be handcuffed to the ring ropes. Why not just watch the match from somewhere else and say if Owens is involved at all he’s in whatever kind of trouble? Plot convenience I’m assuming?

Post break Sami explains things to Owens, who doesn’t remember a thing. That’s a good way to sell the RKO.

Rusev/Aiden English vs. New Day

Before the match, English debuts the 12 Days of Rusev but Big E. cuts him off before the third day. Music hater. English tries to suplex Big E. to start so we hit the gyrating. Kofi comes in and hits his jumping clothesline but Rusev pulls Aiden outside. Some dancing takes us to a break.

Back with English holding a chinlock until it’s back to Rusev for some kicks to the ribs. Rusev grabs a bearhug for a bit until a double stomp out of the corner gets Kofi out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Big E. for the house cleaning and Kofi nails the big dive over the top onto Rusev. Back in and Kofi’s springboard is broken up, allowing Rusev to superkick him for the pin at 9:24.

Rating: C-. I’m sure English and Rusev will be added to the title match now right? Or that they’ll replace New Day. Probably not actually as Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable got beaten last week and are in the match anyway so it’s not like the thing makes sense in the first place. If Rusev and English don’t get anything out of this though, I continue to not understand a lot of things this company does.

We look back at the Hype Bros splitting.

Mojo Rawley is tired of hearing about what he did to Zack Ryder last week. With Ryder out, things were going up. He won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal but then Ryder had to come back and drag him down. If anyone has a problem with him, they can shove it.

English and Rusev have been added to the title match.

Lana, Carmella and Tamina aren’t happy with Natalya getting another Women’s Title match. Daniel Bryan says Carmella can be involved if she cashes in the briefcase but she says no. The Riott Squad comes in and wants to know why Ruby isn’t involved in the match. Is it because he doesn’t like her tattoos? Sarah Logan asks if it’s because Bryan has something against people from Kentucky (she’s from Indiana) and something about tasting live game. Bryan finally snaps and makes the title match a lumberjack match.

Bobby Roode and Baron Corbin get into a math argument over triple threat match. Thankfully, Dolph Ziggler comes in (What am I saying?) to brag about his success and promise to win the title.

Bludgeon Brothers vs. Adam James/Josh Carr

Carr gets knocked outside to start and Harper hits a heck of a lariat. Back in and the reverse powerslam plants James. The double spinebuster is good for the pin at 1:02.

We look at Charlotte in Psych: The Movie.

Owens has talked to Daniel Bryan, who will think about intervening in the main event stipulation. For now, they wait.

Bobby Roode vs. Baron Corbin

Non-title with Dolph Ziggler on commentary. Corbin pokes him in the chest to start but Roode dropkicks him in the ribs to send him outside. A hard right hand rocks Roode though and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and Roode kicks at the knee before stopping a charge in the corner. The Blockbuster doesn’t work and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. Ziggler stands up and gets in the ring for a Zig Zag on Roode and the DQ at 3:27.

Rating: C-. How bad is it that I was relieved at the DQ? I was worried they would have one of them get a clean pin here and it was very nice to have the match end with a screwy finish instead. I’m still not sure why the match needs Ziggler in it whatsoever but he’s kind of there whether you want him around or not.

Corbin gets a Zig Zag as well.

Natalya tries to get Tamina/Lana/Carmella to be on her side against Charlotte. They don’t seem interested. The Riott Squad comes up and Natalya backpedals in a hurry. A lot of sucking up ensues and Natalya bails.

Long recap of AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal.

Charlotte vs. Tamina

Non-title with Lana, Natalya and Carmella are at ringside. Charlotte works on the arm to start but gets shoved down with ease. A running kick to the chest gets two on Tamina but she drives Charlotte into the corner as we take a break. Back with Charlotte snapping off some chops and getting a rollup for one. The Figure Eight makes Tamina tap at 6:42.

Rating: D+. This was a good win for Charlotte, even though there was no doubt about her winning. Tamina is fine for a low level dragon but that’s about the extent of her capabilities. When you have Nia Jax being that much better than her in every aspect, there’s just not much hope for her.

Post match the three on the floor get on the apron with Natalya saying this is a preview for Clash of Champions. Cue the Riott Squad to say we need a real preview, including the real stars of the show. The lumberjacks get into it with Lana and Carmella having to hold Tamina back. Charlotte leaves as everyone else sneers at each other.

Bryan won’t help Kevin in the main event and the handcuffing goes through.

Randy Orton vs. Sami Zayn

Before the match, Bryan and security is ready to cuff Owens. Kevin says no, but Bryan threatens him with suspension. Orton wastes no time in taking Sami outside and dropping him back first onto the barricade. Sami starts running and hides next to Owens in a smart move. That’s fine with Orton, who grabs Sami and bounces him off the announcers’ table.

Owens offers a distraction though and Sami gets in a hard shot to take over for the first time. Some trash talk from Owens takes us to a break. Back with Sami stomping away and saying he’s not afraid of the Viper. Sami snaps his throat across the bottom rope and pulls out some bolt cutters (which they just had laying around underneath the ring). Orton breaks it up before the chain can be cut but Sami posts him instead.

Back in and Sami gets crotched, setting up a top rope superplex to put both guys down. Owens grabs the cutters and gets free, only to be taken down by an Orton clothesline. The RKO is loaded up but Owens offers a distraction so Sami can get two. The RKO doesn’t work but the Helluva Kick misses as well, allowing Orton to grab a rollup for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: C+. So to clarify: Orton can beat the two of them clean on his own so now we should totally be interested in watching him and a partner face off with Sami and Owens on pay per view. The idea should be that Orton can’t handle these two because they keep cheating and using their numbers advantage but instead we get Orton pinning Sami when Owens interferes. Where’s the logic in that?

Post match the beatdown is on until Shinsuke Nakamura makes the save. The heroes shake hands and we seem to have a partnership. Owens takes and RKO and Zayn gets a Kinshasa.

Shane and Bryan are in the back and Shane says he’s not done with Zayn and Owens. He’s going to be the guest referee at Clash of Champions and if Sami and Owens lose, they’re fired from WWE (meaning they can’t go to Raw). Bryan doesn’t look pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t really feeling this week’s show, even if they set up some stuff for the pay per view. The problem is the more they talk about the upcoming show, the more it becomes clear that “all titles on the line” is a really terrible gimmick. I’m assuming AJ vs. Mahal will main event, but that’s far from the biggest match on the card at the moment. Also, throwing so many people into so many of the matches really doesn’t help things and just shows a lot of the problems this show has at the moment. Maybe the pay per view will be better but they’re not heading in strong.

Results

Rusev/Aiden English b. New Day – Superkick to Kingston

Bludgeon Brothers b. Adam James/Josh Carl – Double spinebuster to James

Bobby Roode b. Baron Corbin via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Charlotte b. Tamina – Figure Eight

Randy Orton b. Sami Zayn – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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7 comments

  1. MikeCheyne says:

    The Bryan/Shane feud is actually logical and I wouldn’t mind it…if Shane was the heel. He can even be a Bret Hart-type heel in which he sees himself as doing all kinds of great things. I mean, he’s punishing the bad guys, right? In his mind, he’s doing the right thing and DB is an ungrateful sad sack who should be happy he’s got a job right now. See, this thing writes itself!

    [Reply]

  2. Jay H (the real one) says:

    Should be interesting to see what happens in the Tag Match. Either a miscommunication with Shane and Daniel Bryan counts the fall or DB somehow unintentionally helps Owens/Sami.

    [Reply]

  3. Conor says:

    “I’m sure English and Rusev will be added to the title match now right? Or that they’ll replace New Day. Probably not actually as Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable got beaten last week and are in the match anyway so it’s not like the thing makes sense in the first place. If Rusev and English don’t get anything out of this though, I continue to not understand a lot of things this company does.”

    Why spend a paragraph complaining that something might not happen when it ends up happening two minutes later?

    [Reply]

    klunderbunker Reply:

    It hadn’t happened when I wrote it and I’m not going to go back and change it.

    [Reply]

  4. Kaldana says:

    Jeez Conor, why even comment if you’re going to be a little bitch about it?

    [Reply]

  5. Conor says:

    Because it just came off as looking silly. Editing is good

    [Reply]

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Not really. I thought one thing at one time and then things changed. I don’t write these up after the fact where I know what’s going on.

    [Reply]

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