Impact – August 12, 2010 – The Whole F’N Show

Impact
Date: August 12, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Whole F’N Show

This is the PPV caliber show, since they NEVER have PPV style matches on TV. Nope, not TNA. I guess this is supposed to be like their Clash of the Champions or whatever. The ratings here should be most interesting. Hopefully there are no ECW guys tonight and remember: NO TALKING ALL NIGHT. Any bets on that one?

AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

If Angle loses he retires. AJ has a tattoo on his side which looks weird but it has his initials and his kids’ birthdays so I can live with that. Angle gets a SWEET suplex on the floor. This is non-title which just about gives away the ending as well as you could want it to. AJ is freaking awesome to watch, which is what irritates me about the whole Flair tribute thing. There’s no need to add that in with his great stuff.

AJ does all of his usual stuff but can’t get the pin. He hits the forearm and the Pele but none of them work. This isn’t Angle’s usual formula yet but of course it’s good given who is out there. AJ avoids the running belly to belly but Angle hits a middle rope moonsault press which was NICE.

Ankle lock goes on and from that angle Kurt looks FAT! AJ misses his moonsault DDT thing which he hasn’t busted out in years but the recovery was fine. Angle Slam gets two as this is a very fast paced match. Angle blocks the low blow into the ankle lock with the grapevine for the tap. Nice match but they needed more time, as in like twice the time.

Rating: B. Solid match here but with more time, as in like ten more minutes, this could have been a classic. They were WORKING out there though and everything flowed quite well. These two have mad chemistry together and it’s clear why they get put on TV so often. I can live with the TV Champion losing, but I still see little reason to not make this a title match since the career thing is only for the top ten guys.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Now, can we break the streak of title changes without an actual pin? How are we supposed to take this division seriously with the commentary the way it is? Naturally a lot of the moves from Madison are shall we say suggestive? And make sure you get the back shots. Love kills her with a bunch of stuff and here’s the motorcycle chick.

The crowd chants Tara as they know what’s coming. Skye pops up from behind and DRILLS her with a chair. The helmet comes off and she’s wearing a mask underneath. It comes half off but all we see is a mouth. Back in the ring Lights Out ends this and Love is a five time champion.

Rating: D. Crap match but did you expect anything else? Love looked like Mr. Perfect with the outfit and that was more or less the high point. This whole biker thing is going on to not make it look like Tara just returned a week later which is stupid since clearly the crowd knows who she is. This was a really short match but it did the job….whatever that was supposed to be.

Mr. Anderson vs. D’Angelo Dinero vs. Matt Morgan

Anderson is the only one to get a TV intro. The faces go after Morgan which doesn’t work at all naturally as they wind up fighting over it. The rankings will be announced next week due to….something. Anderson with a Thesz Press as Morgan sits on the floor and lets them fight, which isn’t a bad idea at all. Mic Check to Dinero and Morgan slides in for the save and to steal the pin. I’m not sure if this was longer than the women’s match or not.

Rating: D+. Better than the previous one but more disappointing at the same time. This has been built up for weeks and technically months and it gets four minutes? This could have been much better than it came off as which is never a good sign. It’s ok but it’s just ok, which is never a good thing given what they could have likely done with more time. Imagine that: TNA needing more time for their wrestling.

Jeff Hardy vs. ???

I’ve heard that this is supposed to be a debut and that this isn’t a debut. If it’s a debut, the common guess would be Helms, which would be somewhat exciting. And it’s Shannon Moore.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shannon Moore

When will wrestling companies get that no one cares about Moore? Why does this guy keep getting a job? They’re brothers apparently, or at least that’s what Shannon says. No reason why but whatever. We’re told they’re friends which is news to about 90% of the wrestling audience but whatever. Jeff keeps running into the corners after Shannon and ramming into the buckle like an idiot in a bad comedy movie.

Moore dominates for the most part until Hardy realizes he’s a three time world champion and Shannon Moore is Shannon Moore. A name change might help him a lot actually. Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton into the knees. Shannon gets shoved off the ropes and lands in perfect position for the Swanton and the pin.

Rating: C. Better than I expected here, but again I ask: Shannon Moore? Is that the best they can come up with? Wrestling companies have tried to push this guy for years and it hasn’t worked so why do they keep trying it? This didn’t work back in the days of the WWF and it’s not working here. Anyway, this was an ok match but really nothing special at all. And remember, this is PPV quality baby!

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

This is 2/3 falls. I’ll give TNA this: when they find something that works, they RUN with it. Shelley and Roode start us off and the crowd is WAY behind Shelley. The Guns do their usual insane speed stuff which is always cool looking. Roode does the old classic heel tactic of slapping his hands to convince the ref that there was a tag. It doesn’t work but it’s always awesome.

Sabin breaks through the endless domination of the heels as the fans are just getting irritating. NICE (I think) double team spot from the Guns as we get a downward spiral combined with a DDT and a missile dropkick. Roode takes Sabin’s head off with a big boot and the Guns clear the ring. Back in the ring a Backstabber sets up DWI on Shelley to make it 1-0 Beer Money.

Never a fan of challengers getting clean pins in the first fall of a 2/3 match. It makes the champions look like they lost completely clean. Nice double dropkick by Sabin to clean house again. The splash/neckbreaker ties it up after about two minutes. That move needs a name.

Roode does a HUGE dive over the ropes which they screw up by changing the camera at the last second. After a break it’s more even fighting. This has been a great match. Sabin hits a springboard DDT on Roode which I loved. Granted that might be because the DDT is my favorite move. Both teams hit a sweet double team sequence.

Sliced Bread #2 is countered as is DWI. Last Call superkick ends Roode and the double team combo DOESN’T get the pin on Storm. I would have bet on that ending it. Another one does in fact end it though, which is a bit anticlimactic but still, GREAT match here, although just a step behind the initial win at the PPV. Still though, great match.

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match but it makes me wonder where they’re going to go now that these two have fought so many times now. This is more about a back and forth insanity pitch rather than psychology or storytelling and that’s fine a lot of the time, especially in tags. This was very entertaining and the false finish was great for drama. These two teams have insane chemistry and this was no exception at all. Great match and well worth finding, although most of their matches are.

TNA World Title: Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam

Janice, the board with nails in it, is above the ring and can be used as a weapon, which of course it won’t be. You win by pinfall. Eric Bischoff is the referee for no apparent reason. I mean that literally: no one can come up with a reason for him to be out there. Abyss goes up the ladder as RVD is coming to the ring but gets caught. That was very smart.

Rolling Thunder misses and RVD hits the ladder. After a break Abyss misses a chokeslam onto the ladder. They do the run up the ladder as a ramp spot which is ok. This is about 5 minutes into it not counting the commercial and it’s 10:33. This is going to be a long match or the announcement is going to take forever.

This is a pretty standard ladder based match but it’s not bad. The pinfall being the way to win makes Abyss a much bigger threat here which is very smart thinking. There are the thumbtacks of course since those are perfectly normal in a match like this. Let’s pour some glass on top of that too. Abyss of course lands on them since he has the shirt on which telegraphs it completely. His leg landed on them but whatever.

Barbed wire board is brought in and of course Van Dam puts Abyss into it plus a few more spots which look cool if nothing else. Van Dam gets his hand on the board and they botch a spot as he gets shoved off and BANGS HIS FACE on a ladder that is set up like a bridge between the ring and the barrier. Holy crap that looked terrible. Abyss gets the board.

Naturally he puts it down to punch RVD a bit. For like the third time it gets stuck in the buckle. RVD looks ok and at least his face is still in one piece. He gets some chair shots in and then the Van Terminator into the barbed wire board into Abyss and the Five Star eventually gets the pin. Solid fun match but again I ask: WHY WAS BISCHOFF THE REFEREE?

Rating: B. Solid hardcore style match. The nail board of course meant nothing at all as you would expect. This was a fun main event, although I really wonder where they’re going with Van Dam now as he’s beaten EVERYONE now. I get that they wanted to make him dominant, but the smart move here was to put the title on Abyss, which they passed on so there we are.

Hogan comes down and we go to a break. RVD is still here and Hogan talks, since there can’t be any talking right? Hogan declares that TNA is the top wrestling company in the world and that Hardcore Justice set the bar. He brings out the ECW guys, or at least the main ones. Even Sabu is here.

Hogan says he gives them the ring in a show of respect. There are like 10 or more guys in there. Dreamer is the mouthpiece and thanks everyone. RVD kisses him on the cheek and the lights go out. And here’s Fourtune plus Williams and Morgan. Raven and Sandman come out to even the odds as it’s a massive beatdown.

Abyss comes back and beats up Van Dam some more. Flair comes out as the fans cheer this. In the back Van Dam is covered in blood and Abyss holds up Janice. Flair yells at Dixie, saying she caused this, as we end it.

Overall Rating: A. This was a GREAT show. Everything hit on almost all cylinders although the Hardy/Moore match and the triple threat left a bit to be desired. This was a very fun show though and I had a good time watching it. I’m skeptical about how it’s going to go after this week though as they’re banking everything on this one big angle and if it doesn’t work, they’re in trouble. We’ll see though, and we get a good show here so that’s a success if nothing else. Worth seeing for sure.