Sacrifice 2011 – Played So Safe They Might As Well Have Their Tubes Tied

Sacrifice 2011
Date: May 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another TNA PPV tonight with the main event being Sting vs. RVD for the title.  Earlier today Karen Angle, who is in one of the big matches, posted a message on her Facebook saying that she wouldn’t be able to be in the ring tonight due to a bad ankle.  What a shock indeed.  Anyway the card looks ok I guess so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Sting vs. RVD and is set to a song called, appropriately enough, Sacrifice which is rap/hip hop.  Both guys are shown training, almost like a Rocky montage.

There’s a big Sacrifice banner which is a bit different.  There was a rumor that the whole place would look different but I don’t see any major differences.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc

 

Neal comes out with the big American flag to fight off the evil (not) foreigners.  The fans chant USA as I guess Shannon’s teased heel turn means nothing.  This is now the Impact Wrestling Zone.  Yeah I’m not changing the name.  Anarquia and Shannon start us off.  Arm work by Shannon to start which goes on for awhile.  Anarquia wasn’t bad as Lowrider in OVW but he’s rather generic here which isn’t his fault.

Anarquia tries some power which gets him a leg lariat from Moore.  Rosita gets up to distract and this incredibly by the book match brings in Hernandez.  Neal comes in also and gets a belly to belly to take him down.  Sarita does the same thing Rosita did as even the announcers point out that it’s the same thing.  Back off to Anarquia and Moore who gets a cross body off the top for two.

Moore goes to the floor and Anarquia slides into the ring skirt, getting caught behind it in a somewhat creative spot.  Asai moonsault takes Hernandez down but Sarita comes in again to turn the tide.  Shouldn’t a big powerful heel tag team not need girls to take over on some punks?  Backbreaker submission goes on Moore by Hernandez and a slam move gets two.

Moore plays Ricky Morton as every female wrestling fan that was a teenager in the 80s screams in terror.  Moonsault press mostly misses Anarquia and it’s hot tag Neal minus the pop.  Cross body out of the corner gets two.  Moore gets a Cactus Clothesline to take Anarquia to the floor but it’s Border Toss time.  That doesn’t connect but neither does the Mooregasm due to Rosita.  Hernandez uses a sitout Dominator for the pin on Neal.  He almost landed on his head but the hair shielded him.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match at all and even decent at times, but this was the walking definition of generic.  It’s as paint by numbers as you can possibly get but at the same time that’s just fine.  Decent enough opener and nothing to really complain about.  Nothing to get excited about either but this was completely fine.

The announcers talk about what happened on Impact and get interrupted by the Jarretts’ music.  Karen is on crutches and is in a cast/walking boot.  Jeff says that Karen was giving orders to the hired help and stepped on an action figure.  The fans LOUDLY chant BS as apparently she has a bad sprain and it’s broken in two places.  The tag match is off and cue Foley.  He says he looked at the x-ray and that apparently it was of a 6’6 African American male.  The match is on because wrestling matters.  Karen throws the walking boot at Foley as he leaves.

Brian Kendrick is apparently facing Robbie E tonight in an added match.  He talks about language and talks about how the X-Division is awesome and how it’s not just about small people.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

 

Kendrick does his meditation thing pre-match with the hood over his head.  Hmm, Robbie has his opponent on the mat with his head covered and with him not looking.  What in the world should he do?  He pulls the hood back and gets beaten up for his efforts.  Kendrick, robe/whatever still on meditates more and keeps fighting him off.  I can’t decide if he’s more like Mr. Miyagi or Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

Cookie goes after Kendrick and is told God has a plan for her.  Robbie knocks him to the floor in his first offense.  Kendrick’s mouth is busted.  Middle rope elbow gets two on Kendrick who is still in that robe.  Suplex on the floor but the second is reversed by Kendrick.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gives Kendrick control and there goes the robe.  Robbie can’t get the neckbreaker and a leg lariat ends this.  Time for meditation.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was just an extended Impact match.  Not bad but at the same time there’s no real point to this for the most part.  Granted it’s an added match so you can’t really complain about much.  I’m curious as to where this leads to a very small extent as the whole X-Division thing has been done over and over again and it never goes anywhere long term.

Kendrick tries to “bond” with both of them post match and it doesn’t go that well.

Tara is asked about the match tonight and is asked who she wants to win.  Before she can answer Madison pops up and says it’s all about her.  Tara is told to stay in the back tonight.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison.  Tara was forced to leave so Madison brought her back on the condition that she had to work for Madison.  Mickie won the title from Madison in about 8 seconds at Lockdown so tonight it’s title vs. Tara’s contract.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

Madison looks hot but her tiara looks like the hat the Pope wears.  The religious leader, not Dinero.  Tara pops up just after the bell.  Well at least we’re longer than the previous month’s match.  We hit the floor quickly and Mickie is sent into the steps.  Madison drops her by the hair for two.  All Rayne so far.  Tara won’t hit Mickie when Madison tells her to.  Mickie grabs a neckbreaker to get us back to even.

Tara still won’t hit her and we get some pinfall attempts.  Down goes the referee and Mickie gets kicked in the thigh I think.  Madison revives the old loaded glove trick but Tara steals it away.  Mickie can’t get the DDT and Madison gets a rollup with a handful of Dukes for two.  Mickie gets a flapjack and a nip(ple) up but the Thesz Press takes down the referee again.  Rayne Drop can’t hit and it’s DDT time.  Tara comes in with the loaded glove and hits Madison to zero shock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Really awkward match here as the ending was exactly what they hinted at the entire time.  Tara vs. Madison is up next I guess so I guess Mickie now faces…Winter maybe?  I really have no idea but it should be ok I guess.  Should be interesting either way I suppose.  Yeah I have nothing else to say here.

Fourtune says they’ll win tonight.  Tonight Max Buck can’t be a star if he was thrown by a ninja.  Cool line.  AJ vs. Dreamer is no DQ.  Beer Money makes fun of Harris and says AMW is done.

X-Division Title: Max Buck vs. Kazarian

If there are five members of Fourtune, why does the song say Fourtune Four?  Technical stuff to start us off with neither guy getting an extended advantage.  Kaz is in long tights tonight in a new look for him if my memory is right.  Max sends him into the corner but Kaz jumps over him and gets a reverse X-Factor for two.  That was a rather smooth looking counter indeed.

The fans aren’t that pleased here it seems.  Out to the floor with Max in control as he shouts Come On Frankie.  Jawbreaker gives Max more control and a dropkick gets two.  We hit the mat and Kaz gets beaten on even more.  Kaz gets a gutwrench suplex off the middle rope to put both guys down.  Spinwheel kick gets no cover for the champ.

Springboard legdrop gets two.  Fade to Black is countered so Kaz settles for a jumping neckbreaker for two.  Fade to Black is countered again into a Buckle Bomb as Max takes over again.  Elevated DDT sets up a 450 for two.  Surprised by that kickout.  Kaz punts him kind of and a sunset bomb sends Max head first onto the concrete.  That sounded sick.  THAT gets two as this is a better match than I was expecting.  Fade to Black STILL can’t hit but a Shining Wizard ends Buck finally.

Rating: B. Match of the night so far and a rather unexpectedly long and decent match.  There was zero drama which hurt things a lot here but the match was really quite good.  The ending was a bit abrupt but it was still a good outing by both guys which came out of nowhere, which is always a nice perk.

Abyss says it’s going to take more than Janice to get rid of him.  He keeps going despite everything that’s happened to him.  The teeth he got knocked out of his mouth were delicious apparently.  He has Crimson tonight.

Quick recap of Crimson vs. Abyss says that Crimson injured Abyss and is undefeated.  This is revenge time.  Simple and sweet I guess.

Crimson vs. Abyss

 

They charge at each other after a brief staredown and it’s a battle of the big men.  Shoulder block takes Abyss down and a clothesline sends him to the floor.  Out to the floor as this is mostly just a brawl.  All Abyss here.  This is one of those slow matches where a lot of the match is one guy (Crimson in this case) laying around while Abyss moves very slowly.

Crimson tries a comeback and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  More power man stuff leads to a chokeslam by Abyss for a very close two.  And hey it’s time for Janice.  The referee wisely runs off to the floor instead of DQing Abyss.  Since it would be near murder for that to hit Crimson he gets a spear for two.

Shock Treatment doesn’t work as Crimson gets a double arm DDT for two.  Abyss comes back again and a Vader Bomb gets two.  Corner splash misses and Crimson gets a Sky High Powerbomb (Red Sky) to end this.  That’s a good finisher for him as that Red Alert is almost impossible to hit on big guys.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that got better with the finish.  Abyss not having enough to put Crimson down is a nice addition to his whole undefeated streak.  Better than I expected and not bad at all for a battle of the big men.  Crimson could be something interesting if pushed right but they need to get him onto something significant quickly.

We recap Beer Money vs. Matt/Harris which is a weird team to say the least.  Basic idea is Harris knows Storm so that’s their advantage.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris

 

The former partners start us off as Harris’ tights say America’s Most Wanted.  The fans chant Braden Walker and it’s off to Matt before any contact.  The champs take over on Matt as Walker is indeed bigger than he was the last time we saw him.  Now it’s Harris in against Storm’s new “partner”.  Off to Storm now and Harris runs off as Storm glares at him.

The challengers keep using AMW moves on Storm in an attempt at psychology but the gut of Harris keeps covering it up.  Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Matt down but Storm needs a tag.  Double tag to ZERO reaction and Roode plays face in peril again.  Roode gets his back worked on via a middle rope elbow by Hardy and it’s off to a gutwrench.

Finally off to Storm who gets to beat on Harris.  Skin the cat sets up an elevated DDT to Harris.  Reverse tornado DDT gets two for Storm.  He likes those DDTs I guess.  Matt breaks up DWI but it’s a Backstabber for him.  Catatonic doesn’t work and Roode hits a spinebuster to Harris.  The Beer Money shout sets up a superkick to Harris but Storm doesn’t want to do DWI.  Instead it’s the Death Sentence (Trash Compactor for you REALLY old school fans) and Harris is done.  Matt apparently just walked off and left Harris somewhere near the end.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as Harris dragged this WAY down.  He’s terribly out of shape and his selling and timing were way off.  It seems like the Harris thing is probably going to lead to an AMW reunion because that’s the best way to use a guy like Storm right?  Either way, weak match and not much to write home about at all.

Ray yells at Borash a bit “because he can.”  JB asks about Dreamer and Ray says it’s none of his business.  Ray and Dreamer know why Dreamer is doing what he’s doing and JB doesn’t need to know.  Apparently AJ needs to drink, listen to rock and roll and chase women.  Ray threatens AJ’s family, including implying sex with AJ’s wife.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

 

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We recap the Jarretts vs. Angle/Chyna.  Basically Chyna is there to take care of Karen and that’s about it.  Velvet Sky was the prime suspect and that went nowhere.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

 

This should be….interesting.  Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl.  Those exact words.  TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason.  Chyna looks like Captain America.  We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course.  The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry.  Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd.  Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor.  Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in.  Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna.  Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move.  Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to.  Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two.  Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time.  Jeff takes over again and says it’s over.  Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes.  Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff.  Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no.  Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring.  Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner.  Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT.  That has to be better than the powerbomb.  Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap.  Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle.  While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do.  Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it.  The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory.  Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

We get the same recap video from Impact (I think).  Nothing of note here: RVD never lost the title, Sting handpicked him for the rematch.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

 

Anderson, in a Packers Favre jersey and with a laptop at the table apparently, is going to sit in on commentary.  I think he’s doing a live chat during the PPV.  No big match intros here.  Very basic and technical stuff to start us off which is a theme tonight.  Both guys miss moves and Van Dam hits the floor for a breather.  That’s a borderline heel move.

RVD takes over as Anderson mentions the heelish aspects to him tonight.  A spinwheel kick in the corner misses as does a Stinger Splash as we head to the floor.  Van Dam tries a leg drop off the railing and hits railing, possibly hurting his knee.  Into the crowd again as Van Dam reverses a whip into a wall or something.  Anderson makes PG jokes because those haven’t been done in SO long right?

Van Dam gets kicked into a guard rail up in the crowd and both guys are down.  Sting gets kicked down the stairs and dove on in a cool spot.  Back in the ring and it’s the kick off the top by Van Dam as this has been the main event brawl so far.  Knees to the back counter Rolling Thunder and Sting is fired up.  Another Stinger Splash misses in the corner as does the Five Star.

Rollup gets two for Sting and the Death Drop actually hits for….the completely clean pin out of absolutely nowhere.  That’s one of the most anticlimactic endings I have ever seen in my entire life.  Anderson kept running his mouth the entire time and again, absolutely nothing happened here.  He has something special for Sting on Impact apparently.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness man TNA can’t get a main event to work well for the life of them it seems.  Sting winning isn’t a shock but there was NOTHING as far as an ending sequence there.  Literally Sting grabbed the move, hit it and we were done.  No kickouts, not big segment, just a totally clean win.  Not a bad match, but dude, that’s it?

Anderson goes to the ring and stares him down and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was such a played close to the vest show that it was unreal.  It was a decent show and there isn’t a bad match on the card, but nothing is great at all and the best match is only good at best, being the X Title match.  It’s a decent enough show but it’s a show that didn’t need to exist for the most part.  Nothing really happened here and other than Chyna’s first match in like ten years, nothing is going to be memorable about this as far as I can tell.  Decent enough show though and it held my interest for about 90% of it, but definitely not worth $40 or whatever it costs.

Results

Mexican America b. Ink Inc – Sitout Dominator to Neal

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Leg lariat

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Pin after Tara hit Rayne with a loaded glove

Kazarian b. Max Buck – Shining Wizard

Crimson b. Abyss – Red Sky

Beer Money b. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris – Death Sentence to Harris

Tommy Dreamer b. AJ Styles – Piledriver through a table

Kurt Angle/Chyna b. Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett – Ankle lock to Karen Angle

Sting b. Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop