Impact Wrestling – July 28, 2011 – Well They Had To Screw It Up Sometime Didn’t They?

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 28, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still heading towards Hardcore Justice and Angle is now thrown into the main event mix as well as the Immortal storyline. It should get rather interesting rather soon, at least in theory. I still have a feeling that Hogan is going to get into the ring again and given who he has to work with, I’m not sure that’s going to end well at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with Angle wanting Hogan to come out immediately and end this once and for all. Hogan comes out and Tenay isn’t sure what Angle is talking about. Angle says that he’ll win at Hardcore Justice and wants Immortal out of it. He looks at Immortal and sees two guys running it that. Angle asks if Hogan knows what it’s like to be the best. Hogan goes on a huge rant about how he made wrestling and carried a bunch of territories and all that jazz. Apparently Angle was offered a spot in Immortal and Hogan is mad about Kurt turning it down.

Kurt says he isn’t Mr. Anderson and can’t be bought. Angle says that yes, he used to buy tickets to see Hogan when he was a kid but now it’s different. Hogan can’t go anymore and Hogan cuts him off right there. Hulk says he’s never going to wrestle again due to his injuries. However, he’ll fight Kurt if that’s what it comes to. Angle says Hogan can still go, so why does he have to call Kurt to take out Sting? Do it yourself, and stop calling.

Eric gets something from the Network.

Bound For Glory Standings

Crimson 31

Gunner 28

Matt Morgan 24

Devon 21

Rob Van Dam 21

James Storm 21

Bully Ray 21

Bobby Roode 21

AJ Styles 14

Scott Steiner 14

D’Angelo Dinero 0

Samoa Joe 0

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

Gunner jumps him as he comes in but RVD rolls him up quickly. The fans are behind him of course but Gunner reverses a kick into a powerslam into the corner. We hear that there’s breaking news about Morgan, which I think is a legit injury to his shoulder. Clothesline gets two for Gunner but he walks into a kick in the corner. Top rope kick puts Gunner down but Rob misses a dive over the top.

Springboard kick sets up Rolling Thunder but Gunner rolls outside to avoid a cover. Gunner slams him out there and goes up top. That gets him nowhere so he settles for a slingshot suplex for two. Rob blocks what might have been a piledriver but gets powerbombed out of the corner for two. Rob gets a reversal into a spinwheel kick in the corner but Gunner no sells it and this a running knee. F5 is countered and Rob hits a spinning kick to set up the Five Star for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C+. I kind of liked it. Rob is really awkward in the ring and his matches are almost always just a collection of spots anymore. Gunner is ok but he needs character and he needs it badly. We know he’s former soldier and he’s intense. That’s it. What else do we know about him? That’s the problem with so many characters today: they have no definition at all. The match was pretty decent and back and forth for a 6 minute TV match.

Sting is in a red suit in the back. That’s it. Nothing else is said here and he’s just shown for about two seconds.

Eric reads the letter from the Network that he got earlier. It says that due to Destination X being successful, the X Division needs to be built up. Eric starts to yell at Abyss when Hogan comes in. He says nothing matters tonight other than cutting Angle’s throat tonight. Ray volunteers Anderson to do it and Anderson eventually disagrees.

Eric has more of the letter to read but Sting pops up with a cage with something over it. Sting hugs Karen and critiques the decorating. Sting sits down with his feet on the table. Immortal can’t pummel him because the script doesn’t say so I guess. Sting is the new Network executive apparently. Tonight: Anderson vs. Angle in a cage. Fourtune will be around the ring.

Kendrick and Shelley are in the ring in street clothes. Kendrick does his philosophical jazz and wants Aries out here. He gives Shelley something which is apparently a translation. Hey I speak Kendrick! Shelley lists off some X guys and says that the division is all about hybrid wrestling. Either play by the rules, or don’t play at all.

Aries says he’s played by the X-Division rules time after time and now it’s about his rules. He has a backlog of five star matches but he wants a five star bank account. He’s here to win matches and titles while making money. Kendrick says he’s champion and it’s about the title, not Aries. Shelley says that the Network wants to push the division to the moon. At Hardcore Justice it’s a three way match for the title.

Before they leave, here’s Abyss. He says Kendrick has forgotten about him because Kendrick is losing tonight. Tonight he’ll kill the X-Division. Sting pops up to say he’s got more stroke than Hogan and Bischoff combined. Therefore, tonight it’s the rematch but it’s Ultimate X.

Matt Morgan has a torn pectoral muscle and is out of the BFG Series. This is filmed earlier in the day because I guess we don’t have time to let this be live?

We recap Angle beating Jarrett to get the title shot at the PPV.

We get some BFG Series clips from this weekend which is Joe getting destroyed.

Ray says he’s not worried about Crimson tonight. He’s playing Angry Birds because he’s so unworried. He also calls out AJ for their match in Houston this weekend. Ray says okey dokey “because he can.” Uh…..ok?

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. Crimson

Ray jumps him to start and chokes him out with his own shirt. He works on the knee which is braced up. The brace comes off and Ray pounds away on them. All Bully so far. Bubba Bomb is countered and the Red Sky ends this at 3:22. Crimson hit the elbow to reverse the Bubba Bomb and the powerbomb and that’s literally it.

Rating: D. This was kind of uh….there I guess. Crimson literally hitting one move on offense to win a match isn’t doing him any favors, but it keeps his streak alive and he moves on to probably at least make the No Surrender match. Nothing of note here and I have nothing to say about it for the most part.

Eric can’t get the Network on the phone and isn’t happy about it.

Madison is going to be front row for Tara’s match. Sting pops up with his cage and says whatever he has under it is worse than Tara’s spider.

Winter vs. Tara

Tessmacher is here with Tara. They kiss pre match and no one cares. Love and Tessmacher get thrown out before we get going. Tara jumps her to start and beats on her rather easily, throwing on the Tarantula because she’s into spiders I guess. Slingshot legdrop misses so Winter takes over a bit. Clothesline gets two for Winter. Tara fights back and does the standing moonsault for no cover. Widow’s Peak is reversed and Winter kicks her in the face. BAD REF BUMP gets rid of Earl so Winter can hit her low and hit a horrible spinning Rock Bottom into a backbreaker for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D-. The only reason it isn’t a failure is Winter’s rack and Tara in those shorts. Match was HORRIBLE and sloppy beyond belief. No one cares about the Knockouts anymore and the matches are a big reason for that. Weak match here and they need to get somewhere with all these stories already.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Brian Kendrick

Ultimate X here remember. Kendrick kicks at the leg to start but can’t do anything because Abyss is just too big. Abyss drops him and tries to jump up and reach the belt (not a horrible idea) but can’t do it. He goes to the corner and realizes that’s a bad idea also. Tornado DDT doesn’t work for Kendrick as he gets shoved off and kicked in the face for his troubles.

Abyss goes outside and tries to break the whole structure by shaking it. This doesn’t work but it lets Kendrick dive on Abyss. Back in and Abyss goes down again and Kendrick goes for the title, only to leave his leg down for him to be pulled down. Abyss beats him down in the corner but misses a charge, letting Kendrick hit Sliced Bread. He gets about halfway to the belt as Abyss gets back up. He leaves the foot down again and Abyss makes the stop. The charge hits this time and a second does as well. In a cool ending, Abyss goes for a chokeslam but lifts him too high, letting Kendrick pull the title down at 6:00.

Rating: D+. So what was the point in this again other than to make sure Kendrick doesn’t look strong? They make such a huge deal about Ultimate X when they’re on PPV and then we get a free one for six minutes on TV. I don’t get what Russo’s obsession with gimmicks is but it gets old fast.

Traci has asked ODB and Jackie back tonight. Velvet isn’t happy but Traci says it’s cool.

Eric Young talks to some old guy about expanding his market. Something is said about the jewels in the belt so Young…strips. The old guy says if Young wants to be taken seriously as an actor, go find an acting coach. Give me a break.

Traci and Velvet are in the ring and call out ODB and Jackie. Traci says she used to be a Knockout and was shoved out to make room for fresh faces. She says the two of them should be happy they don’t have criminal charges. ODB yells about how Velvet started using sex appeal to get over and they’re going to fight or something.

Velvet says she was the runt when she was a kid and that she was bullied. So we’re supposed to believe that VELVET FREAKING SKY was the victim of bullying? I don’t know about your high school, but girls that looked anywhere close to Velvet (which none did) did NOT get picked on. Like, at all. Velvet keeps running her mouth about how tough she is and how she’s standing up for herself or something. She leaves and that’s it. This was HORRIBLE.

Fourtune is talking about something and Kaz says if they happen to hurt a member of Immortal before their six man at Hardcore Justice, so be it. Daniels pulls AJ aside and asks if he had a chance to think about what they talked about last week. AJ asks if Daniels is serious and can’t seem to believe he’s considering whatever it is. Sting pops up and asks if they’re ready. AJ wants to know what’s in the cage and Sting says he’ll go give Bischoff what’s in it right now.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

In a cage with Fourtune around the ring. We take a break before we get going because giving a match more than 10 minutes is a sin in TNA. We come back from the break in Bischoff’s office as he rants on the phone to the Network. He says how dare you make Sting the Network executive. Bischoff sounds confused because they say they haven’t talked to Sting in weeks. Sting pops up and Eric gets off the phone.

The cage (still covered) is put on a shelf and Sting says he’s going to confess something. He’s not the Network executive but the suit has made people listen to him. It gives you stroke and he pulls off the covering to reveal a crow or some kind of bird. It lands on Eric’s computer and looks at him. Sting locks him in the room from the outside and Eric FREAKS.

Oh and the cage match has been going on the whole time apparently. Since Sting doesn’t have authority, this isn’t an official match. Angle beats him down to start and Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two. The fans tell Anderson that he sold out. Suplex gets two for Anderson. Headlock by Anderson is reversed into a belly to back to put both guys down. They slug it out and Angle makes a comeback.

There’s a belly to belly for two but the Angle Slam doesn’t work. There are the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is reversed into a rollup for two. Kurt is sent into the cage and the Mic Check gets a close two. Ankle lock goes on but Anderson kicks him off. He tries to climb but Angle hits the running German for two.

Here comes Immortal and the fight is on. Even Bischoff is out there and gets beaten down as well. Mexican America comes out to fight Beer Money and everyone but a hiding Bully Ray is gone. Anderson says give me a chair so Ray opens the door. He won’t let go of it though and shoves Anderson with it, allowing the Slam to end this at 8:58.

Rating: C+. Match was ok but the shortness kind of hurt it. For the life of me I still don’t get the point in having a match that could be a draw being added on half an hour into the show but whatever. Not a bad match but at the same time it wasn’t really enough to mean anything. The ending was pretty stupid too but it furthers a story I suppose.

Post match Sting comes out and raises Angle’s hand. By comes out I mean the lights go out and he appears. Sting’s music plays us out as he says just ten days.

Overall Rating: D-. Anything they had going for the past few weeks was totally gone tonight. The lack of wrestling, the bad pacing, the stupid angles and the bad segments were all back tonight. Sting was built up as the new force all night and then “oh never mind.” Didn’t like this at all and at times it was just stupid. I’m supposed to believe that a chick that looks like Velvet Sky who was a jock in high school and was into wrestling in the mid 90s was bullied? REALLY? Anyway, bad show and I can’t say I’m surprised after weeks of good stuff.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Gunner – Five Star Frog Splash

Crimson b. Bully Ray – Red Sky

Winter b. Tara – Spinning backbreaker

Brian Kendrick b. Abyss – Kendrick pulled the title down

Sting b. Mr. Anderson – Angle Slam