No Surrender 2011 – Blinded By The Boring

No Surrender 2011
Date: September 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re at the finals of the BFG Series tonight and I think it’s some system where you win based on how many total points you have. Not that TNA ran over any possible scenarios or anything but I guess math is a bit beyond their abilities. We have Angle vs. Anderson vs. Sting for another PPV tonight because those three are the only people that have been designated as main event guys. Three matches were thrown onto the card Thursday and I think more will be added with no warning. Let’s get to it.

There’s a patriotic theme to the Impact Zone and the TNA voice says let’s take a moment to remember ten years ago. That’s fine. The roster is on the stage for this.

The opening video is all about the BFG Series and to be fair that’s what they should focus on, even though the logic of it is pretty limited.

Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

The winner is #1 contender for the X Title. These two have been feuding and split the first two matches. Jesse has his football which I wouldn’t recommend since I’d rather be watching my Cowboys than this game. He signs it for a kid which is a nice touch I guess. The ropes are the old WWF red white and blue style which is required for this show. Kash’s tattoos almost look like they’re eating him. If it gets rid of some of that gut I’m all for it.

They hit the mat quickly for some technical stuff and Jesse snaps off some armdrags. It’s a stalemate early on. Kash wants a test of strength and that goes nowhere. Kash slaps him but you don’t slap a guy from Texas. Sorensen charges but gets sent into the post on a slide to give the evildoer the advantage. Brainbuster gets two. He fires off some crossface shots to the…uh….face’s face and keeps pounding away.

Sorensen fires back with some strikes and a solid dropkick which almost every young kid has anymore. They must have grown up watching Maven “Eyebrows” Huffman and followed his great example. Cross body gets two and it’s time for more of Kash’s boring old school style stuff.

I don’t get why Kash keeps getting hired. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him but he was in WCW in the dying days, got a title in ECW, got a title in old TNA and got the Cruiserweight Title in WWE. I don’t get it at all. Kash can’t put him away so he gets frustrated and shoves the referee. A Crash Landing (release vertical suplex) sets up an attempted moonsault but Kash crashes. He still manages to get two as Sorensen is in trouble. Out of absolutely nowhere Sorensen gets behind Kash and lifts him into the air for kind of a reverse Impaler for the pin at 8:00. That was about all the offense he had in seven minutes.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible opener but the ending came out of nowhere. I don’t get why they brought Kash back in as his look isn’t any good anymore and he’s old. There’s nothing interesting about him but I guess it’s because he’s a grizzled veteran or something. Not much of a match but hopefully Sorensen can move on to someone other than Kash.

Angle isn’t happy about having the title match tonight and yells at Hogan about it. He’s officially Immortal as well. Hogan tells him to chill and says go get ready. I smell a swerve.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Storm has to win via submission to have any chance. Storm has a new shirt that says Beer Hunter with some crosshairs on it. I like it. Loud Bully Sucks chant to start and he runs away from Storm for a bit. If he was smart he’d get counted out quickly or find a way to get himself pinned. Ray keeps running and I have a feeling this is going to be a show based around trying to get points one specific way or not losing one specific way.

Ray stalls even more, channeling his inner Zbyszko. We get going now and Ray sends him into the corner but gets caught in a cross armbreaker and is in trouble. Storm isn’t very good at it though (makes sense) and Ray gets out and bails. The fans keep calling him Pussy Ray. Storm goes back to the arm and hooks an armbar, showing psychology. Ray tries to break it but gets caught in a cross armbreaker again, this time in the middle of the ring.

Bully escapes again and heads to the floor. This time Storm goes after him and hammers away a bit, still working on the arm, sending it into the steps. Ray sends him into the apron and steals some beer. No idea if he swallowed it or not. He grabs a chair and as it’s being taken to the floor Ray spits the beer in the eyes. Old school heel work still works.

HARD chop by Ray as Tazz explains the difference between types of quivers between your legs. He calls for the Bubba Bomb but gets reversed and it’s right back into the armbreaker. Ray looks like he’s in big trouble here but he gets his foot onto the rope to break it up. Storm throws on a Scorpion (he’s grabbing the foot, not the knee) and Ray is in trouble again. Blast it he made the ropes.

Storm kicks away at the arm and throws on a (Mr.) Fujiwara Armbar but Ray counters into a rollup for two. Storm goes to the floor and has some beer also complete with some yucky backwash but spits it into the referee’s eyes by mistake. As he’s blinded, Storm gets the tapout but loses by DQ at 11:50. Well that makes sense I guess. It also gives Ray 53 points, I believe clinching at worst a tie.

Rating: C. Not a horrible match and the psychology from Storm was there for the majority of the match. It wasn’t so much on Ray’s part because there was no reason for him to not just head to the floor and take a countout loss then interfere in the other match for a DQ for either guy, giving himself the tournament. Then again that wouldn’t make for much of a PPV so I guess they couldn’t do that.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie which involved past lives, blood, implied lesbianism, drinking blood and Daisy Duke shorts. You can piece the rest together yourselves.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie beat Winter a few weeks ago on Impact to get the title back. Winter is a bit freaky with some magic stuff going on. This is the rubber match. Winter’s music is kind of cool. Mickie has a Wonder Woman style outfit here including the skirt. Mickie takes over quickly and we head to the floor. Winter goes face first into the railing but she takes over back inside.

Mickie comes back with some strikes and a rana out of the corner. A dropkick puts Angelina down but it lets Winter get a shot to the head in to take over again. Suplex gets two. Winter chokes away as does Angelina. She puts on a backbreaker and bends Mickie over her knee. I can’t complain about all the upskirt shots here from Mickie. Spinout backbreaker puts Mickie down again.

A neckbreaker out of nowhere gets Mickie a breather as both chicks are down. They slug it out with Mickie getting the better of it. She fires off some clotheslines and a flapjack before nipping up. A big kick to the face gets two as Winter grabs the rope. James throws on a half crab with a leg trap but Winter gets the rope. Love slides in the belt but Hebner gets it away. A rollup gets two for Mickie.

Winter fires off some shoulders in the corner and Angelina is lurking. Mickie tries a tornado DDT but Angelina pulls Winter to the floor. Mickie is like cool and takes her down with a Thesz Press off the apron. Love runs up the apron as Winter has a chance to load up some blood. Mickie comes back in and Love distracts her. Unfortunately she doesn’t do it well enough and Love takes the blood in the eyes. Mickie goes for Winter but takes the OTHER blood in the eyes for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. The match was fun but we see one of Russo’s weaknesses here: that’s two matches in a row based on spitting something in someone’s eyes. There’s no point in doing it twice in a row as it makes it look stupider the second time. Also this was almost the same ending that they had to the PPV match last time, making it even dumber. Do ANYTHING other than the previous match’s ending. A belt shot would have worked fine here, but Russo likes spitting blood so that’s what we get. Also why did they put the belt back on Mickie at all?

Gunner says he’ll do whatever it takes to go to BFG when Ray comes in and says HE goes and Gunner does whatever it takes to get him here. To even get a tie either guy has to win by tap out. Bullying is Ray’s business and business is good.

Tag Titles: D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mexican America

Remember when TNA had the best tag division by far? Man that seems like forever ago. Can we watch Sarita and Rosita dance instead of watching this match? D-Von vs. Anarquia starts us off. The fans chant for the USA. Off to Pope very quickly as they work on the arm. Ok back to D-Von as the challengers are tagging in very fast. SuperMex comes in and D-Von is all cool with that too.

A clothesline puts Hernandez down for a bit and it’s off to Pope, who according to the audience is pimping. If anyone knows what it means to be pimping, it’s a town famous for having a Mouse theme park in it. Anarquia comes in again and this is firmly in first or second gear. The challengers hit something resembling a Hart Attack but with a shoulder instead of a clothesline and D-Von playing the rope of Bret.

Pope kisses Rosita and then holds her by the air above the floor off the apron. FREAKING OW MAN!!! D-Von and Pope set for What’s Up but Sarita breaks it up. Despite looking nothing like him at all, D-Von lands the role of Ricky Morton. Anarquia hits a back elbow for two. Mexican America hits a pair of splashes and Rosita adds a dropkick. Hernandez takes forever to set up a charge and is taken down by a spear from D-Von.

A double tag brings in Anarquia and Pope with Pope cleaning most of the rooms in the house but not all of the house. Top rope cross body gets two on Anarquia and the champs take down Pope with Hernandez hitting a top rope headbutt but there’s no cover from either of them. Everything breaks down and a double shoulder block puts down Hernandez. The girls come in and get stereo spankings. D-Von takes down Hernandez and we go back to Wrestlemania V as Pope suplexes Anarquia back in but one of the chicks hooks his leg for the fall on top pin at 9:53.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but I could see how some people would. The girls got involved about five times and the ending was so cliched it’s almost unbearable. That’s what this show has been: one cliched ending after another. Also, D-Von and Pope are the best tag team they could get for this? At least the Brits are a regular team that gets along more than a week before the PPV. Not into this at all.

Anderson makes fun of Immortal and while he doesn’t like Sting he’ll do it to get rid of Angle. JB gets embarrassed by saying he sees a sunset in doors. Typical Anderson here.

We recap Joe vs. Morgan which is basically Joe injuring a bunch of people because he couldn’t get half the matches in the Series that anyone else could at the end and Morgan stood up for the honor of a Series he was in for about a month.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

The fans are for Morgan who is in almost all white. Joe fires chops at the injured chest/pec so Morgan hammers away right back. He takes over even more and hits a Taker apron legdrop. Joe gets back in the ring and hits the suicide elbow to take over. Back inside Morgan hits a top rope crossbody for two. He loads up the Carbon Footprint but Joe bails. As he’s getting back in he pulls the arm across the top rope to work on the pec and then hits a running knee to keep his advantage.

The fans chant Sloppy Joe as Tazz implies a lot of the fans at home are fat. Tenay has nothing for that. Joe pounds him into the corner and gets a loud enziguri for two. Morgan fires some punches but is taken over by some Judo throw that Tazz loves knowing the name of. Off to a Kimura for awhile but someone shows Joe a Twinkie so he lets go of it. He calls for the Muscle Buster and then doesn’t go for it, instead being taken down by a discus lariat.

Morgan hits a side slam but Joe takes over again. The selling/momentum is kind of missing in this match. In a weird looking move, Joe gets a running start at Morgan and then grabs him into a belly to belly. He tries the Clutch but it’s more like a sleeper. Morgan manages to break it but Joe never had it on full. He tries it again and gets it on mostly full including the leg lace. Now it’s the full Clutch but Matt gets his leg on the rope. Joe gets in Hebner’s face but misses a charge, letting Morgan take his head off with the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 11:38.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the main thing here is that this is a great example of what’s wrong with TNA. Back in 2008 Joe was awesome and motivated and dominating people while looking awesome. Then they decided he wasn’t going to get pushed anymore and he’s been floundering ever since. Morgan is a guy they’ve decided they aren’t going to push so he’s floundered as well. The problem in short is the management has decided that they’re in the group not worth pushing so they’re not going to and the guys get discouraged and it becomes a self-fulling prophecy.

Roode says it’s his time and he’s coming for Gunner and Ray. Storm is with him and doesn’t look pleased. Storm stops him and says it’s cool and sounds sincere.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Robert Roode

If this ends in anything but a submission, Ray wins. Therefore, there’s zero reason why he shouldn’t come out and clock one of these guys to have the match end in about three seconds. Roode takes it to the mat quickly and Gunner breaks it off to get to a stalemate. The fans are all behind Roode. They do some nice technical stuff to get to the mat as they fight over a hammerlock.

Roode tries the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner hits the floor. Bobby gets to the arm and wraps it around the post. Gunner misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first again. Back inside and Roode works over the shoulder even more. You can’t fault him for lacking psychology. Gunner grabs a DDT to break things up and go after the neck of Roode. Roode escapes a full nelson but Gunner takes him down again and chokes a lot.

Gunner gets a neckbreaker and hooks a neck crank. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Roode escapes a neckbreaker and tries for the armbar but Gunner escapes and takes Roode down with a short clothesline. Now Gunner gets the full nelson but he can’t hook it fully because of the arm. Roode rams him into the corner about five times and the hold is broken.

Gunner misses a right hand and there’s the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner escapes. Gunner charges into the spinebuster and both guys are down. There’s an elbow by Gunner but he gets caught in the armbar again. After nearly tapping he grabs the rope. The crowd isn’t into this at all for the most part but it’s not bad. Gunner gets his running knee finisher out of nowhere but Roode is on his knees quickly. He tries an F5 but gets caught in the armbar again and is dragged back to the middle for a Crippler Crossface for the tap at 12:07.

Rating: C. See, the problem here is that neither guy is really known for submissions so we weren’t sure when to expect the match to end so we didn’t know what was coming. Not a terrible match but oddly enough Storm vs. Ray with Ray stalling forever was probably a more interesting match. This was way too technical and it didn’t work for the most part. Not bad or anything, but pretty bland.

Eric comes out and says since the score is tied it’s Ray vs. Roode for the title. Why they didn’t just do a regular tournament is beyond common sense but so is most of TNA. Also the fact that we have three matches left and 80 minutes to go isn’t saying much either.

Aries says Kendrick’s time is over and it’s time for action. Kendrick is bringing his A game but Aries is bringing his A Double game.

We recap Kendrick vs. Aries. Kendrick speaks a lot of philosophical nonsense and Aries says he’s better than Kendrick.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

Kendrick is wearing a Genghis Khan head dress. I haven’t been incredibly impressed by Aries but I keep being told he’s the best in the world for some reason. They go to the mat quickly and that gets no one anything. They trade counters and Kendrick hooks a Fujiwara Armbar, making it the third match tonight where we’ve seen that submission. They speed it up a bit and Kendrick gets a headscissors to get a small advantage.

Aries is sent to the apron so he can chill a bit. Kendrick gets bored I guess and goes after him and back inside we go. Kendrick gets a kick to the head in and tries Sliced Bread but Aries heads for the outside. Brian rams him into the railing a few times and tries Sliced Bread out there which doesn’t work either. Aries gets a Russian Leg Sweep into the post to take over, getting two in the ring.

Back inside a pair of elbows gets two for Aries. There’s stump puller to really mix things up. A release STO sets up the classically stupid pendulum elbow which misses. Kendrick is sent into the corner face first but he manages to break up a running dropkick. Brian hits a bunch of dropkicks of his own to send Aries outside and we go back in again. There’s a missile dropkick for two.

Tornado DDT gets two. He tries Sliced Bread again but gets tossed over the top and out to the floor in a very nasty crash. Aries tries a suicide dive but Kendrick moves, sending Aries crashing into the barricade. They both barely beat the count back in and slug it out. Aries avoids a charge and Kendrick hits the floor AGAIN. What is that, 6 times already? Back in a running dropkick in the corner gets two.

Aries sets for the brainbuster but gets rolled up for two. Backslide gets two. Aries fires off a tornado forearm for two and an elevated DDT ala Orton for two. 450 misses but Aries rolls through. Kendrick grabs a tiger suplex for two. He tries sliced bread but the referee is in the corner. Aries kicks him in a place that isn’t nice to kick another man and the brainbuster ends this at 14:20 with a new champion.

Rating: B-. This was probably the best match of the night so far but it still was nothing to write home about, let alone half a page. They went outside so many times I lost count and the whole thing felt kind of boring. It wasn’t a bad match and was pretty good at times, but when you can bore a TNA crowd, you’re doing something special. To be fair this has been an incredibly unimpressive show so it’s not this match’s fault.

Ray says this is about one more match that he has to win to go to BFG. He’s going after Roode’s bad neck.

Bound For Glory Series Final: Robert Roode vs. Bully Ray

Well at least we’re not getting a three way. They get in an a face to face argument in the aisle with Ray trying to intimidate him. The fans are totally behind Roode and they stare it down. They talk a lot of trash and I think this is supposed to be epic and it just isn’t. Ray hides again to stall. And then does it again. Ray steals the hat of someone at ringside and that is a large man.

There has been no contact in about five minutes so far. They lock up and Roode gets an armdrag to send Ray to the floor again. I know they have a ton of time to fill but would some punches kill them? They lock up again and Ray is frustrated. He manages a hard chop but Roode no sells it and flips him off. Then he does it again minus the flipping. Instead he slaps Ray and finally we get going.

Scratch that as Ray is on the floor AGAIN. Ray grabs a headlock but Roode counters down into the crossface from earlier. Ray tries to grab the referee to no avail but gets out of the hold. A neckbreaker puts Roode down and a splash gets two. He slaps and chops away while talking trash but Roode no sells the chops again. Ever the lunkhead, Ray keeps chopping and they keep failing.

A big right hand works a bit better and they slug it out. Roode comes back with a forearm and clothesline to take over. The Blockbuster gets two. Rock Bottom gets two for Ray. Bubba Bomb gets two and Ray is mad. The middle rope backsplash misses and the spinebuster gets the pin out of nowhere at 12:34.

Rating: C. The match got better in the middle but the first seven or eight minutes were so boring it was ridiculous. I get that it was supposed to be epic, but you can only get so epic with Bubba Ray Dudley. I’ve been told how great Roode is for years now and while I don’t think he sucks, I don’t see this star in him that everyone says is there. I like Storm better but we’ll see what he can do with this chance now.

Rosita talks about her dad dying on 9/11.

We recap Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson. Angle joined Immortal to get rid of Dixie’s young talent and got brought into this feud because of it. Anderson is back and the Network made this main event for some reason.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is in the blue one again tonight. After some big match intros we’ve got about 20 minutes for this assuming the show is going off at about 10:53. The fans seem to be behind Anderson at first. Angle immediately goes to the floor to continue the stalling theme of the night. Back in and both guys hammer him down and send him to the floor to get a one on one going.

We’re firmly into the triple threat formula as they go at it for a minute or so until Kurt comes back in and Anderson goes to the floor. In perfect timing, Angle sends Sting to the floor and turns around to have Anderson waiting on him. What are the odds of that? Everyone is in now and Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two as Sting makes the save. It’s a triple suplex as Angle suplexes Sting who suplexes Anderson. I think I’ve seen that before.

Angle is the only person standing at the moment. Belly to belly gets two on Sting. Off to a rear naked choke which doesn’t last long since Angle isn’t Samoan. Stinger Splash hits Angle and a regular DDT gets two. Anderson is back in now and he hits a kick of some sort for two. Mic Check to Angle doesn’t work so here are some rolling Germans. Now Sting takes some rolling Germans for a two count. I bet he could have had three if they were Rolling Rocks instead.

Angle tries a superplex but has to settle for the running up the corner belly to belly for two instead. Sting counters the Angle Slam and throws Kurt over the top. Scorpion on Anderson and Anderson squeals like a piggy. He can’t quite get the rope but Kurt comes in for an Angle Slam to Sting for two. Why is Kurt surprised that move didn’t get a pin? One to Anderson gets the same result.

There’s the ankle lock on Sting but it’s eventually rolled through, sending Kurt into the Mic Check for two. Sting fights out of the fireman’s carry into a Death Drop for two as Angle pulls him out to the floor. Hogan pops up and sprays something in Sting’s eyes (third match with someone being blinded tonight) and the Angle Slam keeps the title on Kurt at 15:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it’s triple threat 101 here all the way. I’m so sick of seeing these three having these matches time after time and I can’t stand it anymore. The match was ok but for the love of goat’s milk, why do we need three blindings in the same show? I mean come on and give us ANYTHING else. You can’t throw in a chair shot or something? Either way, it keeps the title on the drunk which is the point….somehow.

Overall Rating: D+. It picked up a little in the last hour or so but until about 9:45 this was really boring. I still don’t get the idea in booking the tie instead of a straight semi-final and then final but it’s TNA so who knows what they’re thinking. The problem here for the most part was that it was just boring. A lot of the matches seemed thrown together and the important matches, namely the BFG matches, were ok at their very best. This wasn’t a good show but I guess they have some time to set up BFG which has most of the matches set already. It has to be better than this which was just boring.

Results

Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash – Reverse Inverted DDT

Bully Ray b. James Storm via DQ when Storm spit beer in Ray’s face

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after Winter spit blood in Mickie’s face

Mexican America b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Anarquia pinned D-Von after reversing a suplex

Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Crossface

Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster

Robert Roode b. Bully Ray – Spinebuster

Kurt Angle b. Sting and Mr. Anderson – Angle Slam to Sting