Smackdown
Date: September 30, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the go home show for Nigh….oh I’m sorry I seem to have gotten the wrong review. It seems like only a little while ago that it was a go home show and it can’t be another one so soon. Only a bunch of idiots would have two PPVs for 45 bucks with one off week in between them. I mean you would have to be crazy to think that would be a good idea. Since there’s no way this can be another go home show so soon, I’m curious as to what happens. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is the Cleveland Indians who can’t win one game to finish .500.

Rhodes vs. Sheamus for the title and Christian vs. Orton 10 later.

Here’s Booker to open the show and he’s going to interview Henry. Booker says he was a fan of Henry since the beginning and that since he’s a 6 time champion, he knows what it takes to get there so congratulations. Henry wants to know if that means Booker thinks he’s six times better than he is. Henry yells a lot and says he could put Booker through that announce table but he’s here for Orton, not Booker.

Night of Champions was about the World Heavyweight Championship. He talks about how at home he has the heads of Lawler, Kane and Big Show mounted on his wall (I guess being future endeavored erases your head from existence) and there’s a special place on the wall for Orton. Booker wants to know why it’s all about the violence and pain. Henry says lower your tone and that for fifteen years he did the good things and took pictures and kissed babies. Now he wants to be dominate.

Booker asks about Sunday (wow they really are that stupid) and if Randy can hit the RKO…but Henry cuts him off saying that won’t happen because it can’t happen. Orton can’t beat him and everyone knows it. Henry is going to beat down Khali tonight like he did on Monday so bring him out right now so we can do it. Henry won’t shake Booker’s hand to end this.

Mark Henry vs. Great Khali

Khali pounds away and Henry is staggered. It’s a heavyweight slugfest and Henry is in trouble. Two chops put Henry down for two and here comes Henry’s comeback. He pounds away and puts Khali down where two splashes only get a two count. I’d have thought that was it. There’s the Slam and we’re done at 2:51. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting but battles of the giants are an old standard and they almost always are worth at least a glance.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Khali’s leg.

Khali is being taken out on a stretcher and Mahal comes up to yell at him.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Bourne gets the big hometown boy pop. Swagger comes out to Ziggler’s music to annoy me. I’m really liking these guys being on both shows as it lets you keep these stories going. Swagger takes over early as is his custom. Bourne fires off some kicks but Swagger catches a headscissors into a side slam.

Vader Bomb misses and Bourne fires off some offense, including that double knee to the neck thing he does. Ziggler interferes but the powerbomb is countered. Bourne sets for the Shooting Star but Vickie breaks it up and the ankle lock ends this at 2:32. Another fast paced match that sets up the probable tag title match at the PPV.

We get a video on the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara feud and the match at the PPV is announced.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

Slater has a boring southern rock song as his theme music now. At least it’s supposed to be southern rock. It sounds like bad country. It took me longer to say that than the whole match which ends in 42 seconds with a Swanton Bomb.

The other Sin Cara pops up on screen and takes off his mask to reveal a new black one. He says the other Sin Cara stole his identity as Mistico so now it’s time for him to do the same thing. Cool to hear an actual reason for what’s going on.

Video on HHH and how things are going crazy in the company at the moment. He’s not here tonight.

The group that wants to sue HHH is in the back and there are a lot of them: Team Vickie, Johnny Ace, Rhodes, Christian and Otunga as the lawyer. Otunga has an idea put together that could work. Christian says he’s cool with Otunga doing this. It goes down Monday.

Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya

Well at least Kelly is in the white shorts. No entrance for Nattie. Beth sits in on commentary. Kelly goes off on her to start and hits a Thesz Press off the ropes but Nattie pounds away and hooks a chinlock. A victory roll gets the pin at 1:25. Can we get a match that breaks three minutes?

Post match Beth hits the Glam Slam and Natalya puts her in that freaky submission she used on Monday. Beth talks trash and Kelly screams a lot.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus

This is happening because Christian cost Sheamus the battle royal Monday. Cody says he’s being discriminated against by the WWE, referencing being put in a battle royal after having his head injured by the bell. They slug it out to start and guess who gets the better of that. Sheamus tries his forearms in the ropes but Cody escapes. Sheamus is like ok then and beats Cody down a bit and then hits them the second time.

Cody gets in a mask shot and the Beautiful Disaster for two as we take a break. Back after a video about the Cell and Cody has a hammerlock on. Sheamus fires back but a single arm DDT gets two for the champ. This is a pretty boring match. Sheamus gets sent into the post for two.

Cody keeps working on the arm which is kind of stupid since one of Sheamus’ big moves and the easier of his big moves to hit is a kick. Now Cody goes into the post and Sheamus makes his comeback with power moves and the the shoulder block. Brogue Kick misses but he breaks up the Beautiful Disaster for a close two. He sets for the Celtic Cross but here’s Christian for the DQ at 8:37 shown of 12:07.

Rating: D+. The ending was a little better but man the ten minutes it took to get there were boring. I like both of these guys but this was a very boring match all around. The arm work was really slow and it didn’t add anything to the ending of the match as his arm wasn’t really hurt all that badly (or maybe he’s just bad at selling it) and the match just went on and on. Not horrible, but nothing interesting at all.

Video on HHH’s movie. No one cares.

Zack Ryder vs. JTG

I know I’ve been liking NXT more but I don’t want to see JTG anywhere else! Cole makes fun of JTG who wants to take over the WWE. Ryder is in the Fave Five which is currently at about 28 members. JTG takes over to start and makes fun of Ryder at the same time. Off to a chinlock and Booker has four nicknames for JTG already (and Cole makes fun of them all). Ryder starts his comeback and the Broski Boot gets two. Rough Ryder ends this at 2:56. Just a way to get Ryder on TV as his push continues.

Johnny Ace is texting someone when HHH comes up. HHH wants to know what’s up with the meetings Ace has been having. Ace says he’s behind him but HHH says it’s about trust. Future endeavors are implied.

The same video that we’ve seen a million times on the Cell airs and we run down the card.

Orton says he’s crazy and evil and isn’t afraid of Henry. He doesn’t regret hurting Orton last week.

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Feeling out process to start which is odd since they’ve spent more time with each other this summer than is healthy. A clothesline gets two for Orton but Christian hits a middle rope dropkick to take over. Spinebuster gets two and we take a break. Back with Christian having a neck crank broken so he hits a neckbreaker for two instead. Oh this is Orton’s hometown too. I forgot about that.

Orton comes back for a few seconds but Christian smacks him down (nice touch) again and keeps the advantage. Orton comes back with his usual stuff including that awesome dropkick. WWE developmental can teach a pretty awesome one of those. Orton hits that powerbomb into a neckbreaker which is a favorite of mine and it gets two. In a nice bit of psychology, Christian escapes the DDT and goes to the corner for the sunset flip out of it. Orton jumps for the RKO but Christian fakes him out. Orton counters Christian’s fake out though and gets a fast rollup for two. NICE.

Orton hits his powerslam but Christian misses a cross body. RKO is countered and Christian sets up for the spear. I’m so over the spear that I cant fathom it anymore. It hits this time but it only gets two because Christian is an average sized guy hitting a power move so it doesn’t work as well. Killswitch is countered into the elevated DDT and Orton is all fired up. Christian hits the floor and runs but Orton catches him. He sends the Canadian into the steps and stalks him long enough for the double countout at 10:56 shown of 14:26.

Rating: B-. Not exactly Over the Limit but this is a different kind of match. I did like the incorporation of older stuff into this match as it’s good psychology and stuff you rarely get to see in WWE. The ending hurts it a lot too but these two have very good chemistry together and Christian brings out the best in Orton which is hard to do.

Orton goes after Christian post match and loads up the announce table. Cody comes out to beat down Orton but Sheamus makes the save and chases Christian through the crowd. Here’s Henry and the Slam puts Orton down in just a few seconds. Henry goes to get a chair to Pillmanize him but Orton grabs an RKO out of nowhere to put Henry down and stand tall to end the show. They needed to do that before the PPV.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show here as they had a lot of wrestling on it and a lot of stuff got TV time (take notes TNA). Orton getting in the RKO on Henry is a great thing as they need to give fans a reason to think Orton can beat him. I’m hoping Henry keeps the title but it’s hard to say as WWE might get nervous that a guy is actually over as a heel. Anyway good show, although they needed to add in some new matches for the PPV and they didn’t get much in that area.

Results
Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne – Ankle Lock
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Swanton Bomb
Kelly Kelly b. Natalya – Victory Roll
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes via DQ when Christian interfered
Zack Ryder b. JTG – Rough Ryder
Randy Orton vs. Christian went to a double countout

Also like my Facebook page please so I can expand a bit more.  I’d appreciate it.

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Unforgiven 2002
Date: September 22, 2002
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show I forgot existed. It’s in a pretty weak time for the company as the world title had split less than three weeks before this. The main events are RVD challenging HHH and Taker challenging Brock for the Smackdown title. Other than that we have Stephanie performing Hot Lesbian Action and Benoit vs. Angle. I can’t wait to get to that Benoit and Angle so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how cool it is to have two world title matches. Man would that voiceover chick be disappointed today.

The theme song is Adrenaline from XXX so I can’t complain there.

Un-Americans vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Kane/Booker T/Goldust

Just an 8 man tag here to make the fans be all happy to see evil foreigners (is Dudleyville in America?) lose. I guess Spain isn’t an evil foreign country anymore. Storm and Christian are the Raw tag champs here. Goldust is the hometown boy here and he starts with Christian. Goldie cleans house and it’s off to Bubba vs. Storm. Bubba has no issues abusing some foreigners and a flapjack gets two.

Test comes in to beat on Goldie a bit so JR talks about having breakfast. Booker comes in to a big pop (he was on fire at this point) and beats up Test. Regal has about the same luck, getting caught in What’s Up. And it’s table time! I wonder what would happen if Bubba didn’t have an underling to tell to get the tables.

Booker gets beaten down again as we’re just waiting on the hot tag to Kane who is on a huge roll at this point. That shows why he’s in the opening 8 man tag I guess. How dare he get on a roll like that? Christian comes in for a chinlock but Goldust makes the save. Booker grabs the sweet spinning sunset flip out of the corner and a spinebuster for two.

Here’s Kane who looks a lot slimmer than I remember him. He destroys everything in sight like any good monster. Everything breaks down and everyone snaps off their finishers (including a Spinarooni and Shattered Dreams to Christian) and a chokeslam to Storm ends this after Kane knocks the brass knucks out of Regal’s hand.

Rating: C+. Just an 8 man tag here but the ending was fun and the fans are into things now. There’s very little you can do that will get fans going more than playing to their patriotism and this did that in droves. Wrestling fans are a very patriotic bunch and if you don’t believe me, just as the Real American.

Stephanie gives Billy and Chuck a pep talk. The idea is that if they lose, Stephanie has to make out with some chick. If they win, Eric has to kiss her….uh…..yeah you get the idea.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Flair beat him last month to set this up. Jericho is champion and is the heel. Flair isn’t a total mess yet and could still have a mostly watchable match at this point. In order to set this up. Flair lost to Rico on Raw. What that has to do with this is beyond me and how it makes him look like a challenger to Jericho is beyond me too but whatever. Figure Four is countered quickly and a baseball slide puts Flair down on the outside.

Missile dropkick gets two and I’ll leave it up to you to figure out who hit that. JR and Lawler are talking about how Flair has to be about ready to retire. How scary is it that Flair is still technically active while Jericho has retired for all intents and purposes? Abdominal stretch goes on but Flair escapes and turns it into a brawl, sending Jericho into the railing and then back inside. He can still do his basic stuff which is enough to keep things going well enough.

It’s time for the knee but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for two. Lionsault misses and Jericho might have jammed his knee. Jericho says he’s injured and asks Flair for mercy but of course he’s fine. He grabs the Walls and Flair has to give it up for the pretty surprising submission. A heel just won a match with a submission against a big name opponent. That’s not something I was expecting.

Rating: C-. The idea here is that Flair has lost a step which I think everyone knew coming in. That’s an old Flair trick but Flair fell for it here, which is to say he’s not thinking as much out there. Now why did we need to have a title match on PPV for that? Also, Flair actually tapped out to a move? That just doesn’t fit at all.

Bischoff tells 3 Minute Warning to win tonight for Bischoff’s sake. Rico will be in their corner tonight.

Shaq is here.

Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is about respect or something. Also Edge caused Rikishi to give Eddie some Stinkfaces. Eddie runs to start and suckers Edge in to take over. And scratch that as he walks into a powerslam for two. Eddie tops that with a SWEET tornado DDT for two. He hooks on a unique submission where he’s in the position for a victory roll but hooks the arms back on the mat and works on the neck.

Belly to back gets two for Eddie and he hooks a front facelock to keep the attack on the neck. Simple psychology but it works. Eddie pounds away but Edge knocks his block off with a right hand and both guys are down. That was quite a right hand as it keeps both guys down for a count of six. A spear attempt eats corner and Eddie is all fired up. Edge gets a pair of rollups for four and a neckbreaker to put both guys down again.

Edge starts his comeback with his usual stuff but it’s a lot more crisp as he hasn’t injured his neck for the first time here so he’s a lot faster than you might be accustomed to. Eddie grabs a jawbreaker and the fans seem to be behind Edge here. Latino Heat tries a springboard rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. Another spear misses but Edge grabs the Edgecution for two. Edge misses a missile dropkick and Eddie loosens a buckle. Eddie gets sent into said buckle and speared into the corner. They go up and Eddie hits a sunset bomb with the tights for the pin.

Rating: B. This was very fun stuff and the ending was the right move with Eddie cheating to win the match also. There are arguments to have either guy win here but Edge losing was a nice surprise and the match was excellent fast paced stuff that is probably going to be the best match of the night until Benoit vs. Angle.

HHH goes to see RVD and says Rob doesn’t have the fire in him or something. Flair is there too and gets made fun of as well. Trash talking isn’t RVD’s strong suit.

We recap 3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck. This was one of those things that only happens in wrestling and soap operas. So Billy and Chuck were going to have a “commitment ceremony” (and yes it’s exactly what it sounds like) and the justice of the peace was really old. He started talking about how this could last and said it could be three minutes. He then changed his voice and pulled his face off, revealing that it was Bischoff in a prosthetic mask. The fat guys (Jamal and Rosey) beat up Billy and Chuck after that. Stephanie did the same on Raw and the match happened as a result.

Billy and Chuck vs. 3 Minute Warning

Here they’re just Rosey and Jamal but the 3 minute idea was still around. Jamal is more famous as Umaga. The fight starts immediately and Rico kicks Chuck in the head to take over. Rosey vs. Chuck starts us off. Cole talks about all of the people that 3 Minute Warning has beaten up, calling them a who’s who of wrestling: Shawn Stasiak, D’Lo Brown, Mini-dust, lesbians, Mae Young and Moolah just to name a few. I’m not here any more. I’m over there. That blew me away.

This is the fat boys’ debut and the fans make gay chants at Rico. A middle rope moonsault misses Chuck and this isn’t an incredibly interesting match. Billy comes in and cleans house but then tries to ram the Samoans’ heads together. And people wonder why he gets made fun of. Anyway, Rosey goes up for a splash but Chuck saves….by throwing him off the top with the hopes that Billy isn’t there anymore I guess. Jamal cleans house and superkicks Chuck but walks into a Fameasser. Rico comes in for a distraction and a Samoan Drop ends Billy to set up HLA later.

Rating: D. Well this was uh…..pointless? Why did this need to happen on PPV again? The match wasn’t very good at all and was just here to set up an angle later on in the night, which I’m sure won’t have any shenanigans at all. Billy and Chuck would split very soon after this after losing in the first round of the Smackdown tag title tournament.

Bischoff is very happy and various lesbians want to kiss Stephanie. They just all happen to be young and attractive. Most lesbians I know really aren’t.

We recap HHH vs. RVD. HHH was awarded the first World Heavyweight Championship and Van Dam won a fatal fourway elimination match to get the shot.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. HHH

HHH is clean shaven and the look isn’t really working for him. Feeling out process to start and Jerry implies RVD is high. Jerry makes more pot jokes as HHH takes over using power moves. HHH heads to the floor so RVD gets a bottle of water from somewhere and does the HHH spit. They’re still in the opening part here as it’s back and forth stuff with no one really trying anything big yet.

Van Dam uses his kicks to get two and we’re back on the mat with the headlock again. Rob tries a big dive to the floor but HHH just steps to the side and Van Dam crashes HARD, giving us our first major advantage. HHH beats on him out there a bit which gets two back in the ring. They go to the floor and RVD takes over by ramming HHH into the table. High knee gets two for the champ.

HHH goes up top and gets caught. Well he is a Flair student after all. HHH hooks up a sleeper which he was using a lot more often at this point. Van Dam gets a kick in to take over and they slug it out a bit. Modified rolling thunder gets two. Van Dam does his rolling monkey flip out of the corner and a middle rope kick out of the corner sets up Rolling Thunder for two.

Van Dam dives out to the floor and HHH is in trouble. A top rope kick (it’s that one footed dropkick that he hits all the time) gets two. Trips grabs a facebuster but down goes the referee. RVD takes him down but there’s no referee. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot and RVD is feeling froggy. What exactly is froggy? Does he want to eat bugs? The splash hits but there’s no referee again. A low blow puts Rob down and it’s sledgehammer time. Here’s Flair, the guy HHH called old and worthless earlier…and of course he hits Rob with the hammer and a Pedigree keeps the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. It’s ok but that’s being generous. There’s just nothing going on here and the turn makes almost no sense at all. This would be the beginning of the Evolution period and it feels like the show should end here, but we’ve got well over an hour to go. That shot of HHH standing tall with Flair would be the scene for about a year and a half and it got really dull really fast.

D’Lo Brown and Kidman are in the back when a guy from the Young and the Restless comes up. Brown is a soap opera geek apparently. He wants to know if there’s something going on on the side but the actor says he’s a married man. Dawn Marie comes up and takes him away. This might be the most pointless scene in WWE history. Let that sink in for a minute.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

It’s not Time to Rock and Roll yet and Molly is probably going to be cannon fodder to give Trish another reign. Typical Diva stuff to start with Trish being 26 and mostly awesome at this point. This is during the Molly is a Virgin thing and Jerry implies he’d like to pop her. Molly takes over and rams Trish’s head into the steps. The announcers take a chance to talk about where the show is airing, which is a giveaway that the match is just filler.

Molly puts on a chinlock and we’re running with an anchor. JR isn’t happy that Stephanie is going to have to perform HLA. Small package gets two for Trish. A bulldog out of nowhere gets two. It didn’t use the ropes though so I guess kicking out of it is ok. Chick Kick gets two. Molly hits a handspring corner smash for two. Trish gets sent into the ropes and comes off with the Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog for the pin.

Rating: D-. It doesn’t fail because Trish looks good in tight pants. This was so boring I could barely stand sitting through it. The whole division was pretty awful until it got to Trish vs. Lita every month and we added some more girls like Gail and Mickie (who really helped it). Still though, this was boring filler.

Trish is happy.

Bischoff and Rico party with the lesbians. Rico leaves with 3 Minute Warning and the girls. Weren’t they lesbians? Two of the chicks stay behind to do the stuff with Stephanie later.

We recap Angle vs. Benoit and does this really need a recap? Angle got a Stinkface and Benoit thought it was funny so Angle got mad. Another feud began. Benoit got a Stinkface thanks to Angle and the match was made.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

The YOU SUCK chants are extra loud tonight. They go to the mat quickly after hitting the floor and you know I can’t keep up with these two. A Crossface attempt doesn’t work and it’s a standoff. Ankle lock attempt has the same result. We get an INCREDIBLE pinfall reversal sequence that ends in a Crossface attempt and Kurt hits the floor to a round of applause from the fans.

Kurt finally is like screw this and throws Benoit to the floor. Back in and Kurt hooks a body vice but Benoit grabs the leg into a submission of his own. Benoit avoids a charge and Kurt goes into the post twice. As you might expect him to do, Benoit goes right for the bad shoulder but walks into a belly to belly to break the momentum. This is a chess match as you would expect from these two. The question is how high can it get on the classic scale.

The Canadian hits some Germans on the American but the American counters the Canadian’s German to hit some American Germans on the Canadian but the Canadian counters into a German on the American but the American counters the Canadian to hit three Germans on the Canadian and everyone is down. That gets another round of applause.

Angle Slam is countered but Chris gets a release German to send Angle flying onto his face to put both guys down again. Benoit sets for the swan dive but Angle runs the corner and hits the belly to belly for two. AWESOME stuff here. Ankle lock is countered quickly and Benoit gets him into a tombstone position but drops into a shoulderbreaker. See, THAT is smart.

Swan dive hits but Benoit can’t cover immediately. Kurt kicks out so Benoit throws the Crossface on…..but Angle grabs the ankle lock WHILE HE’S STILL IN THE CROSSFACE! WOW. Ankle lock goes on but Benoit reverses into the Crossface which is reversed into the ankle lock but Benoit grabs the rope. Angle hooks a Crossface on Benoit and pushes the rope away with his foot. Benoit rolls through the Crossface and rolls Kurt up, putting his own feet on the ropes to steal the pin. He was still a tweener/heel at this point so it’s ok.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Benoit vs. Angle. Were you expecting anything less than this? This was a very fun match and some of the counters and thinking they were using out there was incredible, especially the ankle lock while in the Crossface. This was their usual masterpiece and somehow their match in January was even better which blows my mind every time I think about it.

Lesnar and Heyman say it’s been personal with Undertaker and it started when Taker tried to take the title from him in the first place.

Time for HLA! Fink: “Accompanied by THE LESBIANS”. And again, most lesbians do not look like this. The girls are about to kiss but Eric says he’s changed his mind. He brings out Stephanie who looks good here too. The song talking about her coming from the grime and grit takes away from it though. Bischoff implies a threesome with the two lesbians and the crowd is happy. Lawler is losing it. Stephanie has her jacket taken off and Eric says she should need a massage. The blonde goes to kiss Stephanie and Bischoff changes his mind again, sending the girls to the back.

Stephanie has to stay because Bischoff has a special lesbian in mind. He brings out “the fattest, ugliest, most repulsive I could find.” Lawler: “Not Rosie!” Ok point for a funny line. Here’s the chick and yeah it’s Rikishi in drag. You know, because Bischoff is so blind that he just didn’t notice right? The announcers don’t recognize him because good people in wrestling are idiots. Her name is Hildegard. I give up. She’s been in prison too. Can we just get to Bischoff’s Stinkface already?

By the way, this is what we mean when we say insulting to the fans’ intelligence. Stephanie kisses him hard and Bischoff freaks. Superkick to Bischoff and the makeup/prostheics/wig come off. There’s the Stinkface and oh good night he’s wearing a bra. We got Benoit vs. Angle cut off for this? Tell me, who finds this kind of stuff funny or witty? So let me get this straight: either Stephanie planned ALL of this (and to say that requires a lot of stretching is an understatement) or Bischoff is the stupidest man of all time. I’m going with somewhere in the middle.

Brock vs. Taker gets the music video treatment. Taker is Brock’s first challenger after Brock took the title from The Rock at Summerslam. Taker’s wife (Sara, not Michelle) got involved and Brock stalked her to make this personal. This included the worst chair shot ever as the chair might have come within a foot of Taker’s head It looked awful. The point of the video is Brock destroys legends and Taker has been around for ten years (12 at this point but with a company that put on that previous segment, counting might be a bit much to ask). At least the song is catchy.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock goes right up to Taker and Taker shoves him back. They exchange power displays to start and Taker wins early. Brock is hot on the floor after a headlock gets broken. They have a lot of time here. Taker busts out an armdrag of all things and they keep up their power match. Old School puts Brock down and Taker kicks Heyman off the apron, but it lets Brock get in a shot to shift momentum again. Not much to see here so far.

The champ hammers on the ribs and does it for awhile. Taker is wearing white socks which kind of takes away the intimidation factor. Powerslam gets two. It’s nice to see a power guy hitting a powerslam for a change. Brock puts on a waistlock and for some reason Taker tries it take it to the mat. Taker can’t get out of it and Brock is totally cool with having it be a wrestling match instead of a fight.

Taker sends him to the floor and starts hammering away and a right hand sends Brock outside. They head to the floor and Heyman distracts the referee so Lesnar can hit Taker with the belt. Taker is bleeding. Back inside, Taker fires back with the clothesline/splash in the corner. Heyman: “WATCH OUT!!!” Chokeslam is broken up but a big boot gets two. Snake Eyes set up another big boot for two.

There goes the referee because what would a main event be without a ref bump? Chokeslam hits but, say it with me, there’s no referee. Here’s Matt Hardy to jump Taker (he was working for Brock or against Taker or something at this point. Not that it’s explained or anything) and he takes a Last Ride. Spinebuster gets two for Brock as does a DDT for the challenger.

Tombstone is loaded up but Brock escapes and the referee goes down again. Heyman sends in a chair but Taker kicks Brock in the face to make him drop the chair. Brock gets his head caved in and the chair looked diseased. Brock is busted now and the referee is up now. Taker drops a leg for two and a big pop. Last Ride is countered as is the F5. They slug it out and the referee gets caught in the middle….and it’s a double DQ. Oh my goodness the fans aren’t happy.

Rating: D+. The ending crippled this as the fans were fired up by the match and then the ending crippled it. Taker allegedly didn’t want to job to Brock so he had to job to him at the next PPV inside the Cell in one of the most bloody and gruesome matches in there. This wasn’t horrible but man that ending sucked. Have Heyman cheat to win or something like that but dude, not that ending.

Post match they fight up the aisle and Brock is thrown through the Unforgiven sign to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Well Angle vs. Benoit is excellent and Edge vs. Guerrero is very good. That alone makes it a worthwhile show but other than that, there isn’t much to see. Nothing is all that horrible but the HLA stuff is dumb and the ending to the main event sucked. Good show overall but the ending huts it a lot.

We don’t have much to work with this time as there haven’t been a lot of matches announced.  Here’s what I’ve got for the main events though.I’ll hope Henry gets the win over Orton as it’ll keep him in this roll he’s on.  We haven’t had a true monster heel in forever and a win over Orton is a great way to get him going.  It’ll be a nice touch as faces control the title way too often.

Cena probably retains but I have very little confidence there.  Punk or Del Rio would be the best choice but I see very little reason for this to be in the cage.  A regular match would be fine and the Cell being 2 weeks after NOC isn’t going to pop buyrates like they think.

Also Beth to get the title, Air Boom to keep the tag titles (assuming it happens) and Christian to steal a win over Sheamus.

Your picks?

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 29, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

After this week we move off to Nashville for two weeks and then it’s Philadelphia for Bound For Glory. Tonight we’re going to hear that it’s Hogan’s retirement which is a big announcement and a spoiler but by the time this is posted it’ll be fair game. Anyway other than that there’s a five way ladder match which will be lucky to go six minutes. Let’s get to it.

Sting is here to open the show and he calls out Roode. It’s the same stuff you would expect: Sting says he’s awesome and can beat Angle, Roode says he’ll do his best and that it means a lot and says that Sting needs to beat Hogan. Here’s AJ to say take care of things and go become world champion because you might never get another shot. Here’s Angle who says if AJ wins tonight he’ll get a shot at the title. This felt really rushed for some reason.

Hogan is here and is looking nervous.

Alex Shelley vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Zima Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

This is a ladder match and the winner gets the shot at Aries at BFG. Aries is on commentary and says he wants to face Kash. It’s your usual insane match with all the people doing everything they can. There’s a chair brought in and Sorensen is dropped onto the ladder by Kash and looks like he was shot. Kash goes up but Kendrick makes the save. Tazz: “Austin what would you do in this match?” Aries: “Climb the ladder as fast as I could.”

Ion takes Kendrick out with a moonsault to the floor and no one is really trying to go up. Shelley kicks Kash down and makes a run up but takes forever because it’s a wrestling match involving a ladder and Ion makes the save. BIG chop by Kash to Ion and Aries says maybe he doesn’t want to face him. Ion gets countered and Sorensen puts him into the ladder. Kash goes up but is taken down by Kendrick. Kendrick and Shelley go up at the same time but Kendrick knocks him down and wins at 5:45. Nice to see them expanding the title feuds.

Rating: C+. The match was exciting but I’m tired of these matches that are supposed to be special and draws etc being given five and a half minutes so that we can have everyone on the roster post on their video blogs about how they feel about everything that is happening tonight with nothing interesting to say at all. Not a bad match or anything, but these matches need more time to build up some kind of drama.

Kaz is talking about the Roode/Styles match when the Jarretts come in and say get to the ring now.

Flair is on the phone and is upset about something. He wants to be part of a decision that is being made and is coming to someone’s office.

Here are the Jarretts and they call out Kaz and tell him to bring Traci with him. Jeff gets in his face, talking about how he gave Kaz a job and how Kaz went to the WWE and then Jeff let him come back and then left again and Jeff let him back in again. He insults Traci a bit and they almost get into it but referees and agents come out. Jeff threatens to fire them because he can I guess and another brawl starts up. Gunner comes in and leaves Kaz laying with an F5.

We recap last week’s thing with Ink Inc and Mexican america with the tattoo raping.

Hernandez vs. Jesse Neal

Mexican America jumps Ink Inc and we’re told that Hernandez hurt Neal which is why we haven’t seen them lately. Well that’s better than nothing. The beatdown goes on for awhile and the bell hasn’t rang yet. Anarquia and Moore are in the ring and Moore gets crushed by a splash. Here’s one for Neal also and the Mexicans stand tall. They spray pain MA on both of their backs and it’s 1996 all over again. No match. Hernandez’s splashes looked great.

Ray says he knows what Hogan is going to say and says he was the first one that Hogan told about it.

Storm says if Roode wins, Storm will be winning with them because they’re a team.

Flair rants to Hogan about what Hogan is going to do and says it’ll change the business. Whatever it is, it’s not a good decision.

We recap Tara vs. Madison Rayne which started back at Sacrifice 2010 where Tara put her career up for a title shot. Then Tara came back with Madison because I guess Madison had the authority to break the contract. Tara rebelled against Madison and won her freedom. Do we really need a year plus recap for a TV match where you get a spot in a title match?

Crimson is here just as he promised he would be.

Madison Rayne vs. Tara

This is a qualifying match to be in the Knockouts Title match with Mickie and Winter and whoever else is the final person. By the way, total time from the end of the ladder match to the bell for this: 33:54. Madison hits on Earl and screams a lot. Tara grabs her hand and bends the finger back, making Madison tap but it doesn’t count I guess. I have a feeling we’re in a comedy match.

Tara takes it to the mat with a headlock takeover and Madison keeps carressing Earl. Madison uses the distraction to take over with a right hand and beats on her in the corner. She does the hump the mat spot and hits on Earl AGAIN. That’s about 8 times now. Madison cheats to escape a chokebomb by hitting Earl so Earl says kill her. Release chokebomb hits Madison but Rayne escapes the Widow’s Peak and rolls her up with the feet on the ropes at 4:43.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of the video was as this really wasn’t a match that required a lot of explanation or backstory to it. Also I don’t get the point of the hitting on Earl as it didn’t play into the ending at all. Pretty much a nothing match that didn’t need a backstory or the cross generational flirting.

Daniels says he wouldn’t want to face AJ again at BFG because there’s no point. The match is happening it seems and Daniels says if he beats AJ again it would be a kick in the nuts, which makes him chuckle.

Here’s Crimson after having his leg broken or something similar to that by Joe. He wants Joe out here right now to settle this. Joe appears and says he’s allowed Crimson to be here and to continue his farce of an undefeated streak. Without Crimson, who else is going to be Joe’s female dog? Crimson charges and the brawl is on. Joe goes to the ankle and kicks Crimson low and into the ring we go. He puts on the leg bar until Matt Morgan comes out to make a save. Morgan helps Crimson up.

AJ is ready for Roode but they’re cool.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mr. Anderson

Just 19:37 between bells this time so they’re improving. Feeling out process to start as this is the always rare face vs. face match. They do nothing of note for awhile until they head to the floor and Anderson pulls back to punch Pope. D-Von’s kids grab his arm and Pope misses a charge into the railing. Anderson goes into the ring and Ray pops up with a kendo stick. Pope comes in and gets the pin at 4:12. D-Von came down to yell at his kids.

Rating: D. I can’t call it a failure because it plays into both stories. Anderson and Ray are fine, but is this Pope/D-Von/D-Von’s kids thing going ANYWHERE? They’ve been doing this same stuff for months now and I guess D-Von is mad at Pope again or maybe now at his kids or something? I have no idea what the end goal of this is but it’s taking way too long for an angle with D-Von Dudley in it.

Roode is ready.

D-Von yells at his kids and Pope. D-Von is training his kids to be wrestlers it seems. Pope says chill and D-Von yells at his kids more, saying he calls the shots and says when for the kids to jump.

We get one of those serious videos about Roode training for his one match and how he’s given up so much for his family and his dream and all that jazz.

AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode

Just 12 and a half minutes this time. LONG headlock by AJ to eat up some time and then a dropkick gets two. Off to another headlock as I think it’s one of those “big” matches where they do very basic stuff but nothing actually comes out of it. AJ tries the springboard but gets caught in an over the shoulder gutbuster for two, injuring Bobby’s leg. They go to the floor and once that goes nowhere, AJ puts on a bridging Indian Deathlock to work on the knee a bit more.

They continue with this slow pace and it’s ok but it’s not much to watch, especially after how boring the rest of the show has been. Roode knocks him off the top but gets caught by the springboard forearm for two. Here’s the springboard 450 but Roode moves. Styles Clash is blocked twice, the second time into a sunsef flip for two. Pele misses and Roode grabs the Crossface and AJ taps at 8:32.

Rating: C+. The ending was good but this is another match like the opener: they needed more time to make it good. A win over AJ is a good thing but there’s still a total lack of heat in my eyes on the title match. They’re trying so hard to make this a huge match and I’m not getting into it at all. Roode simply isn’t that interesting and would rather talk about how much he respects everything and show absolutely no emotion other than serious which is logical I guess, but MAN is it dull.

AJ praises Roode and says he’s going to be the next champion. This takes forever and AJ says he wants a shot. Roode says ok.

Here’s Hogan for the big announcement. He talks about how he’s been soul searching recently and started thinking about how the Hulk Hogan run has been awesome. He talks about Hiro Matsuda breaking his leg when he started training and how he came from the beginning to the match with Andre and how many times he sold out MSG and all those big matches. Sting is watching in the back.

Hulkamania could go on forever. Then he had a chance of a lifetime: to come to Impact Wrestling and make a difference. He saw a bunch of hungry eyes and now they’re all stepping up. Every moment has been worth it and Sting is still watching. He (Sting) talks about Suburban Commando and says Hogan is a great actor.

Hogan says this is the end of the road and he’s retiring. He wants to thank the Impact Zone fans because they’re the important ones. Even his wife hasn’t heard this yet. But Flair and Bully Ray have? The fans are always with him and he’s leaving. Next week will be the formal announcement and it’ll be a big celebration of Hulk next week. Sting doesn’t buy it.

Overall Rating: D. Oh man I did not like this show. They spent the whole night plugging Roode vs. Angle and I still don’t care to see it. The match will probably be very good, but at the end of it I’ll say something like “Ok so what’s next?”, which will be Sting vs. Hogan because that’s been built up far better, although the match will be a disaster. These buildup shows for BFG have been built on two matches and I’m not thrilled to see either, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash, Alex Shelley, Zima Ion and Jesse Sorensen – Kendrick pulled down the contract
Madison Rayne b. Tara – Rollup
D’Angelo Dinero b. Mr. Anderson – Pin after Bully Ray hit Anderson with a kendo stick
Robert Roode b. AJ Styles – Crossface

Chi-Town Rumble
Date: February 20, 1989
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Magnum TA

This is a one off show with the first match in the Steamboat vs. Flair trilogy. Steamboat is the first guy Flair brought in after he took over as booker from Dusty who is on his way to the WWF. The Horsemen are mostly broken up but Hiro Matsuda is managing various people who used to be on the team. This is a very forgotten show so let’s see if there’s a reason for it. Let’s get to it.

Jim and Magnum talk about the card.

For you visual learners out there, here’s a video about the matches (there are only seven) tonight.

Michael Hayes shouts a lot and says a lot of people are shouting and says he feels like Pete Rose. He sounds like he’s plugging a PPV instead of talking about his opponent, who hasn’t been mentioned yet.

For you card carrying members of the IWC, Dave Meltzer is in the front row on camera all night.

Michael Hayes vs. Russian Assassin #1

It’s Jack Victory under a mask. You’ll be hearing that name later tonight. They exchange overly long headlocks to start and a Russian sickle misses. Hayes takes over and stops to play to the crowd because he’s not that smart at times. Must be that Freebird Hair Cream getting into his brain (WCCW joke). Hayes works on the arm but stops to strut. JR calls it the patented strut. How do you go about getting that patented?

The armbar lasts way too long and the Russian fires back with a knee. Hayes was a lot better at working a crowd than he was in the ring. You can’t have everything though I guess. Most of a Russian Sickle gets two. That’s like the Russian version of the Samoan Drop. The Assassin’s manager, Paul Jones, messes up a cover by bickering even though Hayes is down.

Here’s a chinlock by the Assassin as the fans chant USA. That doesn’t last long so the Russian hits a Sickle for two and goes back to the chinlock. Hayes tries a comeback but gets hit in the back despite there being no back work on him in the first ten minutes or so. Jones chokes some and this needs to end. It’s not that it’s a bad match but it’s really boring. Hayes blocks a suplex into one of his own but an elbow misses. A charge in the corner hits the post and Hayes pounds away. DDT out of nowhere ends it with Hayes winning.

Rating: D. Oh man this was dull. Who in their right mind thought this deserved 15:48? The match was mostly laying around and it wasn’t interesting at all. Hayes is a guy that can get a great reaction out of a pile of dirt but he’s not a guy you want in the ring for almost 16 minutes. Not sure what they were thinking here.

Ricky Steamboat and his family talks about how important family is and he dedicates the match tonight to them.

Sting vs. Butch Reed

Sting is on the verge of shattering the glass ceiling but they’re a PPV away (about three months) from pulling the trigger and giving him the TV Title. That came at WrestleWar. Sting is in new clothes and is all fired up. He’s ready for Reed too. Magnum TA summed up Sting perfectly on the Starrcade DVD: “He had so much talent and so much charisma that he had no idea what to do with it all.” That’s as accurate as you can get with Sting in the late 80s.

Reed has gotten a solid push around this time too so this is far from a squash. He also has Matsuda with him as Reed was considered for a spot in the Horsemen before Arn and Tully left. Feeling out process to start and I have a feeling this is going to last for awhile. Sting speeds it up and Reed hits the floor because he has no idea what to do with the painted one.

Sting throws on a headlock and we hit five minutes. An elbow misses for Reed in the corner and it’s time for a beating. Ok or maybe it’s time for a wristlock. Teddy Long is the referee. Reed sends him to the floor to take over. This has the makings of a very long one here. We’re ten minutes in and Reed pounds away. JR keeps calling Reed’s punches soup bones. Is there some connection between Reed and Taker that I’m missing? And who puts bones in their soup?

Magnum keeps calling Matsuda an Oriental which would get him thrown off the air today. It’s time for a chinlock as they need a breather and Reed needs to call some spots to the rookie known as Sting. Sting fights back and tries a Vader Bomb in what would be ironic in about 4 years. It gets knees here but Reed misses a clothesline and is knocked to the floor. Reed takes over again and hooks a one armed chinlock. That’s not something you see every day.

Sting hooks a jawbreaker but is sent out to the floor again. That’s one of those moves that happens way too often in the late 80s NWA. Sting grabs a sunset flip but Reed grabs the top rope. Teddy breaks that grip so Reed grabs the middle rope. Teddy breaks that up too so that Sting can finally get the sunset flip for the pin. This was over twenty minutes long.

Rating: D+. The length hurts this one again as so much of it is made of armbars and chinlocks and moves like those that it never got interesting. Also having Sting not get to use any of his big moves kind of defeats the purpose of the match as it was there to give Sting a win. However he needed Teddy Long to make that work. I don’t get that at all.

Reed jumps him post match and is beaten up again.

Paul E. Heyman says that Dennis Condrey isn’t going to be here tonight and Jack Victory (told you you would hear that name again) is replacing him. In other words, Condrey was fired so this is a Loser Leaves the NWA match. I think that’s just the person that loses the fall though but I’m not sure.

Cornette’s Express says they’re not worried.

Midnight Express/Jim Cornette vs. Jack Victory/Randy Rose/Paul E. Dangerously

This was a pretty good angle with a pretty cool backstory. Ok so WAY back in the day, the original Midnight Express was Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. They teamed for awhile (along with a third man named Norvell Austin) and were the original Midnight Express. They left Southeast Championship Wrestling where they got started and Condrey went to Mid-South Wrestling where he was put together with Condrey as the Midnight Express. This is the version that feuded with the Rock N Roll Express and is probably the most successful version.

Now here comes the interesting part. One day the Express was scheduled to go to California for a show. Condrey never showed up. No one is quite sure where he went but he wasn’t seen for years. One day he popped up in the AWA with Randy Rose and said they were the Midnight Express. At the same time, Eaton teamed up with Stan Lane to become the latest form of the Midnight Express.

So then the Midnights (Lane and Eaton) got crushed by the Road Warriors for the world titles. On TV one night Cornette got a phone call by someone making fun of them. Then Dangerously, Rose and Condrey ran out and it was Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express. Then Condrey left again and that’s why Jack Victory is here now. The feud never got as good as they were hoping but the Starrcade match was pretty great.

The person to take the fall here is gone and since Condrey is gone, is there any doubt as to who is taking the fall here? Lane vs. Rose starts us off and Rose goes sailing to the floor. Cornette comes in and drops an elbow so he can strut a bit. Off to Victory who doesn’t do well either so let’s try Rose again against Eaton. The good guys are dominating this. The heels mess up again and Dangerously clocks Rose by mistake. JR makes fun of it, saying it’s not like it hurt or anything.

Lane vs. Rose at the moment but it’s off to Eaton quickly. They go to the apron and Eaton goes crashing onto the railing to totally shift momentum. The railing is the old faithful way to change things. Dangerously comes in, pounds away a bit, ducks a right hand and runs away to bring Rose back in. Cornette wants Dangerously and the fans sound like they want to see it too.

Instead Rose gets his hands on Cornette and to his credit he takes a quick beating. Off to Dangerously now who is acting like a true heel manager, only coming in when his opponent is in trouble. Cornette gets in a single shot but Dangerously runs to Rose again. Jim finally gets in a tag to Lane who meets Jack Victory but Dangerously interferes to give the heels the advantage again.

The fans are all over Paulie here as Rose jumps to the floor to take Lane down again. Lane gets beaten on for a good while and is in a chinlock by Rose. There’s the hot tag to Eaton after some kicks to the ribs by Lane (his specialty) and a missile dropkick almost kills Victory. In a cool bit, Eaton walks Victory’s half out cold body over to Dangerously and grabs Victory’s hand to slap Paul.

Paul is dragged in to face Cornette and this is the part everyone has been waiting for. Cornette beats on him for a bit and it’s off to Lane vs. Rose again. Rose misses a splash but Victory saves the pin. Everything breaks down and a double flapjack is enough for the pin on Rose. That’s an old Midnight trademark so it’s cool to see that instead of the Rocket Launcher or cheating.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here and it’s always cool to hear that sweet Midnight Express theme song time and time again. The ending was never really in doubt and this eventually lead to Heyman becoming the top heel announcer a little bit after this. Still though it was a good match, although nowhere near the Starrcade one.

Flair says he’ll keep the title because he’s awesome.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Mike Rotundo

This is the Starrcade rematch but the heat isn’t on it anymore as Steiner won the title. However there’s now the added issue of dealing with Rotundo’s Varsity Club’s teammates. Let’s go to Rick Steiner to see how he plans to deal with that. Rick brings in his brother as Scott Steiner debuts. Scott mentions that Rick is out there like he is (including talking to a puppet named Alex) because of a bad car wreck they were in a few years ago.

Rotundo is out there alone so Rick looks a bit odd having his brother there. Rick takes over to start, hitting what we would call an AA to frustrate Rotundo. This is going to be a very technical match. Mike gets sent to the floor again as Rick is controlling early but he hasn’t done anything major. Rotundo fires off a European uppercut but Steiner takes over again, this time with a headlock.

Steiner hits something but the camera is on someone in the crowd so we don’t see what gets the two count. We’re about six minutes into this and nothing has happened so far. Well at least nothing of note. They’ve been doing more than standing around for that whole time. Off to an abdominal stretch and Scott tries to get the referee to notice Rotindo’s cheating. They go to the mat and Rotundo hammers away with crossfaces.

Off to an armbar as this is a very slow paced match. It’s not bad but it’s slow. Rick hits a monkey flip to get a breather and a knee lift for two. A top rope splash (???) misses for the champ and we head outside. Back in and Rick snaps off a powerslam for two. And here’s Kevin Sullivan, talking about Rick’s dog in the back so Steiner goes after him. Back in Rotundo gets a suplex for two. Steiner pounds away in the corner with five minutes to go and there’s a sleeper. Steiner goes to the mat with it but loses focus with Rotundo on top so that Steiner gets pinned while holding on to the sleeper.

Rating: C+. Pretty creative ending there and it plays to the idea that Steiner isn’t all there but he’s trying. The Steiners would start teaming up soon after this and would become the best team WCW ever produced. Not a great match here but the pacing was good enough to give us something else that we didn’t see that often.

The Road Warriors say they’ll end the Varsity Club in their home town of Chicago.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

Barry turned on Lex months ago to join the Horsemen and this is the revenge match. Barry is also champion. The champion says he’s going to beat up Lex. Matsuda is with him as well, as he’s been with every heel tonight. They exchange shoulder blocks and no one moves. Lex no sells a suplex and throws Windham around as only Luger can. Windham suplexes him back in but can’t grab the Claw. It’s gotten a bit stronger since Dusty stayed in it for about five minutes last show.

Lex’s eye is busted a bit due to right hands. Out to the floor again and Barry manages to punch the post. It busts open Windham’s hand and injures him to the point that the Claw is worthless. Oh please like that’s the case after last year’s Bash. A powerslam gets two. Barry is like screw it and goes for the superplex but Lex gets up at two. Barry isn’t sure what to do now so he goes for a belly to back and it’s the ending where Lex gets his shoulder up first to win the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent here but there were a lot of times on here where I wasn’t sure what the appeal of it was. Lex would go on for a huge run with the title, holding it nearly two years. Barry would be in the WWF by about Mania time so this was his last hurrah in the NWA, at least for a few years.

Barry piledrives him on the belt post match because he’s a sore loser and he wants Lex to be a sore champion.

Rotundo is all HAHAHA I’m the champion again! He lost it to Sting at the next PPV.

Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors have the belts and it’s Sullivan/Williams on the other side. The Varsity guys are the US Tag Champions. The Warriors in their hometown with Iron Man playing and coming in as champions is a pretty awesome sight. Animal vs. Sullivan to get us going. Off to Williams and the question of who sells first comes up. Well so far that would be no one until Williams hits a powerslam and brings in Hawk.

Williams hits a gorilla press so Hawk takes his head off with a clothesline. The Warriors hit a clothesline on both sides of Williams at the same time. It gets two and you don’t have to ask JR twice to praise Williams for that one. Out to the floor and Sullivan hits a chair shot to the shoulder of Animal to take over. Williams busts out a leg lariat/kick to the face to get two.

Sullivan shows better psychology and works over the arm he hit. Williams does the same, I guess being influenced by Sullivan. Wow that’s not exactly something I was expecting. Lots of arm work follows as Animal stays in trouble. There’s the dreaded double clothesline, which is a huge compliment to whoever was in trouble beforehand because one clothesline is enough to keep the other guy down for the same length of time that a guy who was beaten down for awhile does. Everything breaks down and something gets botched, resulting in Hawk getting the pin off a top rope clothesline.

Rating: D+. Not much here but they tried at least. The Road Warriors were only able to do so much and they kept it short which is the right idea for them. Not a great match or even a good one, but like I said the Road Warriors in Chicago are always worth checking out as this was a solid reaction.

Luger, with a bandage around his head, thanks the fans and says he won’t let them down.

We recap Steamboat vs. Flair which was started in a tag match where Steamboat beat the tar out of him. They played up the family man in Steamboat vs. the womanizer in Flair which was an awesome idea. This of course resulted in Flair being stripped to his underwear because that’s what Flair is all about…..somehow. This takes about four minutes to get through.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat comes out with his wife and son. Flair comes out with a band, his theme song and six women. Never let it be said that he didn’t live up his gimmick. Matsuda is here again. Steamboat gets a shoulder block for a very fast two. In another nice move, Flair drops down for Steamboat to run over him but Steamboat drops down to grab a headlock. Flair hits the floor as he isn’t sure what to make of this speed.

Back in Flair fires a chop and Steamboat is like I can do that too and chops even harder. Steamboat grabs the headlock and takes Flair to the mat with ease. Flair keeps rolling him up for two counts. We hear about how they had different backgrounds, ranging from blue collar to white collar. They chop it out and MAN are those loud. Flair takes a double chop for two and bails for a bit.

Steamboat chops him to the floor so Flair slows things down again. A hip toss and headscissors get two. They speed things up and Flair takes him down with an elbow. Steamboat is all like HI YAH and chops him to the floor. Out to the floor and Flair takes over with his nefarious means. These shots are HARD. Things slow down and Flair takes over, dropping the knee for two.

Butterfly suplex gets two. They chop it out again and there’s the Flair Flip. Ric comes off with a cross body but Steamboat rolls through for two. The crowd is eating this up. Flair hits an atomic drop and grabs the Figure Four out of nowhere. A huge Steamboat chant breaks out and Steamboat is tapping, but we’re about four and a half years from that meaning anything in America.

Steamboat has been in the hold for about two minutes now but Flair gets caught grabbing the ropes and Young breaks the hold. Steamboat fires off even more chops but Flair hits a cross body to put them both on the outside. A suplex back in gets a few two counts for the champ. Belly to back gets two and Steamboat grabs a rollup for two. They do the backslide counter into the bridge but Steamboat stops in the middle with the butterfly suplex for two.

Flair keeps trying to come back and control but a clothesline and a chop takes him down again. This is incredibly fast paced. Top rope chop puts Flair down and the cross body hits but Young goes down as well. Flair gets a cradle with tights for no cover. Steamboat misses another cross body and Flair tries the Figure Four but Steamboat rolls him up for the pin as Teddy Long runs in to count the fall and give Steamboat his only world title.

Rating: A+. I’ve heard about how great these Flair vs. Steamboat matches are and this is my favorite of them. They did not stop for over twenty minutes and the result is a classic war where Steamboat outsmarted Flair at the end in a clean finish. Those are some of the loudest chops you’ll ever hear and it’s a great match as a result. Excellent stuff.

Steamboat wants his family out here and holds his son….who immediately reaches back for his mom.

Steamboat says he can’t believe it and the other faces shower him in champagne. Ever the pro, Steamboat praises Flair and says he’s got the first shot.

Overall Rating: B-. Well you have a classic main event and the rest of the card isn’t that bad on top of it. Nothing is really all that bad but other than the main event, nothing is going to stand out. That’s the point of a masterpiece though and I can’t call it anything other than that. Pretty good show but check out the main event for sure as it’s a great match between two masters.

What are some matches you don’t hear people talk about that you’re a fan of?

One of the matches I remember liking is the main event of Uncensored 97.  it’s a three team 12 man tag with Team Piper vs. Team WCW vs. Team NWO with a stipluation if each of them wins.  The whole thing actually works and there’s nothing to it that is too far over the top that it gets ridiculous.  The post match appearance by Sting and confirming that he’s WCW is awesome stuff too.

Your picks?

Great American Bash 1988
Date: July 10, 1988
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

This is a bit more like it and it’s a traditional PPV. If you’re a fan of long matches, this is the show for you. There are five matches and the shortest is just under sixteen minutes long. The main event is Lex challenging Flair for the title as Luger is the hottest thing in the world and the question is how is Flair going to escape. Notice I said escape and not win. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bit too upbeat for my tastes. The name of this show is the Price of Freedom. Did George Bush produce this?

World Tag Titles: Sting/Nikita Koloff vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

No entrance for the champions. Koloff has a full head of hair and it’s not working for him at all. Sting has burst onto the national scene with his classic at the first Clash so the crowd is white hot. They clear the ring quickly but the Horsemen are all like BRING IT ON. Sting nails a dropkick to send Arn to the floor and then hits a plancha (remember this is 1988) and takes Anderson out.

They’re the official starters and it’s off to Nikita for some arm work quickly. Koloff fakes Anderson out and hits Sickles on both Horsemen but doesn’t cover until late and Arn gets his foot on the ropes. Those idiot Lithuanians. Sting comes in and it’s back to the arm. The Horsemen try to double team Sting with stereo top wristlocks but Sting is like screw that and backflips out of it. He was so fast and so athletic back in the day that no one could touch him.

Tully comes in and finds his arm being yanked on too. Nikita works him to the mat with ease and gets some two counts. Tony and Jim talk about the continuity of the challengers being great which is a surprise. It’s so nice to hear guys talking about the match and analyzing it instead of having them rant and rave about stuff that has nothing to do with it. Blanchard misses a charge into the corner and goes into the post shoulder first.

Anderson manages to slap Tully’s boot but that doesn’t count. I wonder what you actually have to do to have a tag count. That’s an interesting question. Anyway back to Sting after a fake tag (he did the clapping thing) as Tully still can’t get out. We’re 10 minutes into this and it’s been all Sting and Koloff, which is an old formula in the NWA and I’d bet we see it again in Luger vs. Flair later.

Koloff and Blanchard go to the mat and Anderson FINALLY gets the tag but Nikita rolls to his own corner to further frustrate Arn. Koloff takes Anderson to the mat quickly but the Horsemen get in some shots to the knee to FINALLY slow things down. That lasts about five seconds as Koloff and Blanchard collide and go to the floor together. Nikita suplexes him in for two but JJ makes the save. Koloff tries to drill him but clotheslines the post instead and there’s your match changing moment.

You don’t have to tell Arn twice that someone has a bad arm so he sends Koloff’s arm into the post again and Tully pounces. Off to Anderson for the hammerlock slam (called vintage by JR). There are five minutes left and that should tell you what the ending is going to be right away. Koloff fights up but gets caught in a DDT for a pop. That’s still a very popular move at this point but it only gets two here.

Tully and Arn keep working on the arm but they can’t seem to pick which arm that it’s supposed to be. Blanchard hooks on an armbar and we have three minutes to go. Arn tries a Vader Bomb but jumps into knees and the hot tag gets a big pop. We’re under two minutes and Sting is dominating. Sting dropkicks Tully and hits the splash but Arn makes a tag to kill the crowd dead. The one minute mark brings a sleeper to Arn but Tully tries a top rope sunset flip which Sting blocks. Sting hits the splash and gets the Scorpion on Blanchard but time runs out and it’s a draw.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but with five minutes to go everyone knew it was going to be a draw. Also the first 10 minutes or so are mainly armbars but Sting was such a popular and charismatic guy that he was able to carry the whole thing through to that point. Nikita helped as well as he knew how to work a crowd like few others. Good opener though, although I’m not sure if they should have kept the titles on the Horsemen or not.

US Tag Titles: Fantastics vs. Midnight Express

The Fantastics (Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers) are champions and if they win they get to lash Lane and Eaton 10 times and they get to lash Cornette as well. Jim will be up in a cage above the ring though which is funny stuff as he’s legit scared of heights. I’ve always liked the Fantastics so this should be good. Cornette is in a straitjacket as well.

Cornette freaks out as only he can do, getting in such lines as “THIS JACKET HASN’T BEEN TAILORED!!!!” and then trying to bribe the referee with 5,000, 10,000 and finally 15,000 dollars. The referee turns him down so Cornette says “WHAT KIND OF CRACKPOT ARE YOU? YOU’RE AN HONEST MAN! BOBBY HE’S AN HONEST MAN!!!” Cornette gets in the cage and has one of the best terrified reactions you’ll ever see. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I’M GOING UP IN THE AIR!!! MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!” Hilarious stuff.

Ok so now there’s the bell as all of that was just pre match fun. Bobby Eaton vs. Bobby Fulton gets us going. Fulton tries a cool move by sliding between Eaton’s legs but pulls him down into a sunset flip position for one. Eaton takes him to the mat with a headlock to take over but a headscissors sets up a rana to put Eaton right back down. The fans are all over Cornette who I think is having a heart attack.

Lane comes in and fires off some awesome kicks to send Fulton out to the floor. Lane’s martial arts were always good. Rogers comes in and beats up some Midnights to take over again. We hear about the Maryland State Athletic Commission, which no one has ever heard of before and is foreshadowing for later tonight. Eaton pops Rogers in the face but a blind tag brings in Fulton again and everything breaks down. The champions send the Midnights to the floor and dance a bit.

The focal point is mainly the arm of Lane and Rogers backflips out of a backdrop but a blind tag brings in Eaton for a bulldog. This is a total chess match with both teams trying to top each other. Stan takes Tommy’s head off with a slingshot clothesline and it’s back to Eaton to destroy him a bit more. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Lane comes back in and fires off some kicks to send Rogers into Eaton for a Low Down backbreaker.

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two as Rogers is in the ropes. Cornette is still sitting in the cage and is freaking out. We’re at about eleven minutes which JR and Tony tell us more than once because I guess we need to know it really badly. Rogers finally gets in a shot but Lane is in to break it up. He misses a kick by what must have been a good six inches (or half his foot, whichever you prefer). (I’ll now pause for you to roll your eyes at what might be the worst joke I’ve ever made).

Fulton tries to come in illegally which doesn’t work because most faces aren’t good cheaters. Sunset flip gets two for Rogers but Eaton takes him down quickly. Top rope legdrop (Eaton’s is great) hits for a tag instead of a cover. The Midnights keep up the beating but a Rocket Launcher eats knees as we hit fifteen minutes. It’s finally a hot tag to Fulton and everything breaks down. Double teaming puts Fulton onto the floor and he takes a slam out there. Down goes the referee and Stan has a chain or something. Eaton winds up with it and pops Fulton with it for the pin and the titles and a face pop.

Rating: A-. Don’t let anyone tell you the 80s weren’t the best time ever for tag team wrestling. This was for the midcard titles and it was a great match. It’s totally awesome as both teams work together so well and you got a great match out of it as a result. This was what they did on all kinds of house shows and the scarier part is that the Rock N Roll matches with the Midnights were probably even better regularly.

The chain is found post match but it doesn’t matter as Eaton slipped it into Fulton’s tights. That’s genius. Post match Cornette takes a lashing with a belt anyway.

Cornette rants to Bob Caudle about the torture he just went through.

Road Warriors/Ronnie Garvin/Jimmy Garvin/Steve Williams vs. Kevin Sullivan/Mike Rotundo/Russian Assassin/Ivan Koloff/Al Perez

This is the Tower of Doom match. Sooo…..how in the world do I go about explaining this one? This was a one off concept (thank goodness) that is kind of like WarGames meets Doomsday Cage (Uncensored 96) meets Triple Cage (Slamboree 2000). You have three cages: one is a taller version of a regular cage. Above that you have a smaller cage and above that you have a cage that at most two people could fit in at once.

The idea here is every two minutes, each team sends in a man. Now the logical thing would be to put them in at the bottom, but instead they’re starting at the top via huge extended ladders. The idea is you have to climb down the cage and out the door. The catch is that Jimmy Garvin’s chick Precious is in the bottom cage and has the keys.

The entire point to this match is that Sullivan wants Precious who keeps turning him down. I’m not sure if it’s been introduced yet or not, but there was something about papers he had that she didn’t want being seen and he called her Patti as if he had known her before so maybe they were married before or something but the whole insane story was dropped with no explanation after Garvin got hurt and Precious, his real wife, left wrestling. That’s wrestling for you though.

The rest of the people aren’t there for any particular reason. The Varsity Club and the Road Warriors were feuding I think but they were more there as heavies. Williams would join the Club soon after this and end that run. Ronnie is there because he’s part of Garvin’s family. They stand around forever to wait on everything to be secured.

Ivan Koloff vs. Ronnie Garvin to start in a clash of former world champions. Keep in mind they’re up there by the lights so the fans can’t see a thing. Rotunda is up there already (not in the cage but waiting outside of it) along with Williams to go in next. There’s no room for anyone to do anything up there so it’s really boring to start. After two minutes the trap door will open but it’s only for ten seconds so there’s a chance of having a 2-1 situation.

Garvin and Koloff chop each other a lot and the cage shakes. I’m scared of heights so this is terrifying for me. We randomly cut to a not very hot chick in the crowd as the horn goes off for the two minute interval. The door is open for like 40 seconds as Garvin goes through and there’s some powder thrown. Ok so Garvin is in the second cage by himself and has to wait there now. Williams is getting beaten down 2-1 and Animal and I think that’s Perez who are coming in next.

Williams fights both guys off as the cage keeps shaking. I need some Tums. The horn goes off and Garvin gets down to the regular cage, Williams and Koloff get into the middle cage and it’s Animal vs. Rotundo and Perez on top. Precious lets Garvin out so it’s officially 1-0 Team Garvin but 3-2 in the cage itself. Hawk and the Assassin are up next but not quite yet. Animal takes over on the heels and the fans actually get into it.

Koloff gets beaten down also and there’s the horn. Perez makes it to the middle cage as does Animal. No one makes it to the bottom cage so it’s Animal, Koloff, Williams and Perez in the middle while Rotundo, Hawk and the Assassin are up top. Jimmy Garvin and Sullivan who are more or less the captains are left. Williams slams Koloff and JR is practically in the cage to suck him off for it.

Another horn goes off and it’s Perez and Animal in the bottom cage, Koloff, Hawk, Assassin and Williams in the middle and Rotundo, Jimmy and Sullivan up top. Now remember that just because all 10 are in, it doesn’t mean the horn thing ends because the trap doors aren’t staying open. Animal escapes to the floor and Williams puts Koloff in a Figure Four. Ross is saying how intense and insane it is and while it’s overkill, this is still pretty nuts.

There’s a horn and Rotundo finally makes it out of the top. Assassin makes it to the floor as is Koloff. Perez makes it out to the floor. Hawk comes down to the bottom and is in a handicap with the Russians. Ok so the Russians and Road Warriors are feuding. That’s why they’re in this. Hawk takes them both down with a clothesline while Garvin and Sullivan fight up top. Williams vs. Rotundo is going on in the middle. I’ll give them this: they’re staying on a wide shot at least some of the time and you can see most of everything which is a nice touch.

Precious is still in the bottom cage remember. Hawk escapes, but that leaves it 4-2 (Jimmy/Williams vs. Russians/Sullivan/Rotundo). Williams makes it to the final cage but Garvin and Sullivan don’t care about moving but eventually go down. Williams and the Russians escape so we’re left with Rotundo/Sullivan vs. Jimmy Garvin, who thankfully isn’t in those small white trunks anymore.

The horn goes off and Rotundo gets out of the entire cage while Garvin vs. Sullivan are left in the middle. A big brawl breaks out on the floor with the other 8 guys because Garvin vs. Sullivan is pretty boring without Precious involved. Garvin works on the leg a bit and then they slug it out. The horn goes off and they both go down to the bottom and Sullivan goes right for Precious who kicks him away for Jimmy to save her. Garvin works on the knee some more and hits his brainbuster finisher but can’t get the door unlocked. Sullivan gets up and shoves Garvin out to give Team Jimmy the win.

Rating: D. The match is a total mess, but by comparison to something like the Doomsday Cage Match, this is a masterpiece. It makes almost no sense but at least once you get into the match you can follow it. There’s one really stupid part which we’ll get to here in just a second if you haven’t figured it out already. It should have been WarGames, but this isn’t a total disaster I guess.

Now we get to the big problem: since Garvin was thrown out, Precious is locked inside with the man that wants to either rape and/or murder her. Yeah they didn’t really think that one all the way through did they? Sullivan drops to his hands and knees and crawls over to her as Jimmy and Hawk try to climb up the ladders for the rescue. Sullivan gets her jacket off and pulls a rope or chain out of his trunks and chokes away until Hawk FINALLY comes in to half kill Sullivan with a clothesline. Garvin gets Precious out as you have to wonder why in the world the Garvins EVER agreed to let her be in there in the first place.

Oh and one other thing about it that makes it more bearable than the Doomsday match: YOU COULD SEE IT. They were in the middle of the arena and it was well lit. Why that was such a stretch for 96 is beyond me.

Bob Caudle fills in some time while they take the cage down.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Dusty Rhodes

Barry is defending here and this is Dusty’s rematch after being stripped of the title for beating up Jim Crockett. Windham used to be Dusty’s friend but turned on him to join the Horsemen and take Luger’s spot so there’s heat here. Barry charges in but Dusty lifts up his elbow to scare him away. Dusty sends him to the floor quickly and Barry needs time out. Barry drops an elbow on the back of his head but Dusty pops up for a gorilla press to take over.

A DDT puts Barry down again as Rhodes controls to start us off. Rhodes hits a top rope cross body for two after the earth stops shaking. Dusty pops both Windham and JJ with elbows and the crowd explodes. The fat man was indeed popular and no one can take that away from him. Five minutes in now and Barry pounds away. I miss the NWA telling us the time gone in a match as it helps keep track of where we are and wasn’t just for time limit endings.

We go to the floor and Windham’s piledriver is reversed. Barry pounds away in the corner and we go outside again. And never mind as Dusty leans back on the rope (amazingly it doesn’t snap like a twig) to slingshot Barry out to the floor again. Barry grabs his finisher, a claw hold, after JJ interferes. We’re currently at 90 seconds of the US Champion having his finishing move on Dusty but Dusty is gyrating. Make that two minutes of nonstop claw. Dusty manages to stand up, climb the ropes (which doesn’t call for a break from Tommy Young) and signal for an elbow but Windham takes him down again.

We’re at 3 minutes straight now and Dusty hasn’t been past his knees in about two minutes of that. Imagine if Cena stayed in the cross armbreaker for three minutes. The internet would form into a missile and kill him all at once. Total time in the Claw: four minutes and five seconds before an elbow breaks it up.

Let me repeat that: the old man (Dusty is a veteran at this point and in his early 40s) just lasted over four minutes in the finishing hold of the young unstoppable US Champion who won the title with that very hold. I’ve heard of killing moves dead before but Dusty took the Claw, shot it, buried it, turned it into a chicken, plucked it, cleaned it, put it in batter and sold it to a man named Sanders.

Dusty is immediately fine and tries a Figure Four but gets caught in the Claw again. Dusty was out of the hold all of 8 seconds. This one only lasts 46 seconds as they go up to the corner again. Barry tries the superplex but Dusty shoves him off and takes out the referee. Dusty slams him off and hits the big elbow but there’s no referee. Ronnie Garvin of all people comes out and kills Dusty dead with his Hands of Stone punch finisher as he turns heel. The Claw is academic as Dusty is dead and Windham retains. Garvin would be gone in only a few months and would be in the WWF by December.

Rating: D+. That claw in the middle was just so ridiculous. I mean seriously, Dusty lasted practically 5 minutes in it overall and was just fine until a punch comes out and stops him cold? I mean how weak does the Claw look now when a right hand, the most basic move in wrestling, ends Dusty faster than five minutes of a claw? How many matches have you seen that are shorter than five minutes? Imagine a single hold lasting that long. Crazy.

Garvin is with JJ and Gary Hart, another heel manager. There appears to be a suitcase of money handed to Garvin. See, why is that so hard? Someone did it because of money. Why is that such a hard concept anymore?

NWA World Title: Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair

That would be written a few dozen times over the years but this is one of the first times. Pretty basic story here: Luger was a Horsemen, lost his US Title to Dusty at Starrcade and then said he was going to be on his own and got thrown out of the Horsemen and was replaced by Windham, his best friend. This is his revenge/shot at awesomeness. Flair is in white which isn’t something you see often.

Flair is in white trunks with yellow pads and Luger is in yellow trunks with white pads. Uh…deep? Very slow paced start but they have a lot of time. This has TV time remaining which sounds really odd on PPV but it’s the truth. Flair is sent to the floor and takes a walk in front of the State Athletic Commission. Luger leapfrogs him and adds a gorilla press for pain.

The champ hits the floor again and yells at a fat boy in the crowd. There’s always one of them out there. I think the real money in the NWA was in coaching physical fitness, not wrestling. Back in Lex grabs a half test of strength and guess how that goes. Gorilla press puts Flair down again and it’s off to a bearhug. There’s a suplex and Flair’s back is being destroyed. Lex’s big elbow hits but a second misses.

That does a total of nothing as Lex hits a hip toss and we’re back on the floor again. Flair sends him into the railing and takes over. We’re over ten minutes in now as Flair puts him down again. Flair starts in on the ribs which takes away the Rack I think. Lex fires off a clothesline for two and Flair goes up. This time it’s different though as Lex shakes the rope and Flair is crotched. Another clothesline gets two as does a slam.

A very long sunset flip gets two. Now we get to the second half of the match as Flair goes after the knee. We’re 15 minutes in and Flair cannon balls down onto the leg. There’s the Figure Four (wrong knee of course) but it only lasts for a few seconds. Lex somehow gets up and clotheslines Flair to the floor and it’s the momentum that sent him out there as the rule is adjusted again. Granted that was almost always how it was called.

Flair chops away but Super Lex isn’t hurt at all. That was another constant: chops never worked on Lex. Sting was about the same too. Luger hits another gorilla press but the knee gives out after it hits. Lex, ever the genius, tries a knee drop and misses. He deserves it for such a boneheaded move too. Flair goes up and this time is slammed down. JR says that’s the fourth gorilla press for Luger. And people say Cena is repetitive.

An atomic drop is no sold by Lex. If there’s ever been an anti-steroids ad, I give you exhibit A. We’re at twenty minutes so this is almost done. Flair is sent to the floor again but it doesn’t last long. They collide and both go over the top where Flair screams that his leg is hurt. Lex goes into the post and Dillon sends him into it again.

Now we get to the interesting part: Lex is busted open. Remember that. There’s barely any blood but the announcers make it clear that Lex is bleeding. And here’s the Maryland State Athletic Commissioner to get the referee’s attention. Lex puts him in the Rack and there’s the bell.

Rating: B. Good match here but the Starrcade one blows this out of the water. The ending is pretty stupid as I’m sure you can see what’s coming a mile away. Lex would face Flair about a thousand more times for the title but he would never get the big win, which is what stopped Lex from becoming the mega star that he was supposed to become. Let’s get to the part you all know is coming.

The match is stopped because of the cut. The fact that no fan has ever heard of the Commission and that you can’t see any blood is ignored.

The faces come out to raise Lex’s arms but it means nothing.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s a pretty good show but the ending is pretty weak. I don’t get the point in not switching the title here and having Flair get the title back at Starrcade. The rest of the show is pretty good stuff although the Tower of Doom is pretty stupid. The second tag match is very good and the rest of it is solid enough. Worth seeing but don’t watch the home video as it hacks the thing to pieces.

NXT
Date: September 27, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

Another week here and after the last two weeks I’m assuming that it’s time for the Usos to face JTG and Young in what Gorilla Monsoon would call a main event in any arena in the country except the one we’re in now where it’s a filler match 2 spots down on the card because it’s a pair of teams that not many people care about. Also I’m sure Maxine and Bateman will try to further the split of Horny and AJ because….because….because that’s what bad people on an internet wrestling show do. Let’s get to it.

JTG and Young open the show and I still want to hurt JTG. Regal: “You know I absolutely hate him.” Young calls JTG a tag team specialist and they go over their tag team success here. They talk about winning NXT and then the tag titles but the Usos interrupt. They actually get to talk and no one seems that interested. We get clips of both Uso attacks after the wins by Team Annoying. The Usos talk about the Samoan heritage and how great at tag team stuff the Samoans are. Fan: “SHAD WAS BETTER!” JTG says the Samoans were a joke and gets chased to the floor. The tag match is mentioned.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jinder Mahal

Yep it’s officially the minor league show and not about a competition anymore. Yoshi’s music doesn’t really fit with the new look. Regal says he was at Mahal’s christening 25 years ago and was rivals with Mahal’s dad. We hear about how Yoshi was squashed by Mahal about two months ago and got some teeth knocked out in the process. I remember that match and if this isn’t better than that one, that says a lot.

Yoshi takes over with a headlock but a suplex gets Mahal out of trouble. A chinlock eats up a few seconds and Mahal takes over. Korpela: “What would your strategy be if you were Yoshi?” Regal: “Win the match.” You can’t buy this kind of analysis people. Regal follows that up by talking about Mahal’s uncle, the Indian Karaoke Champion: Getupta Singh. Back to the chinlock. A kick by Yoshi gets two. The Indian hits a Samoan on the Japanese but it gets reversed into a crucifix for two.

They go up to the corner and Yoshi blocks a superplex. Tatsu tries a dive as Regal talks about how you have to be a special kind of man to headbutt someone. Yes you do, but it takes a more special man to Coco Butt someone. As Yoshi is getting up he gets caught in the full nelson slam for the pin at 6:07.

Rating: C-. Not too bad but I feel sorry for Mahal. He was getting a fairly decent push on Smackdown or at least the opening stages of one and then that just kind of stopped. That’s another case of someone getting some kind of momentum and then the writers getting bored with him and so much for that. The match wasn’t bad but it’s nothing I’ll remember tomorrow.

Video on the Cell.

And now from that to something completely different as Horny is looking for AJ and has a note for her. Maxine tries to tell him that AJ is with Titus but Horny shushes her. Horny finds Titus and AJ (score one for Maxine) and the note (read by Titus for some reason) is a very poetic letter (it talks about being a boat tethered in a storm and stuff like that), basically saying that Horny is leaving NXT for Smackdown. AJ is sad but uh…isn’t she on Smackdown too? Horny leaves all sad and AJ points out just that: she’s on Smackdown too. I believe that officially eliminates all the remaining Pros.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Regal talks about how Punk winning would mean he has no more worlds left to conquer because he’d be WWE Champion. My face actually scrunched up and I looked up from my computer in a state of confusion over that one. Kidd speeds things up to start but Watson (much better without the glasses and OH YEAH) hits a dropkick for two. Korpela says everyone is talking about Watson’s vertical leap. Today I talked about how the Monopoly game is back at McDonald’s which means the McRib is back soon, but that’s just me.

Back in after a quick bit on the floor and Tyson hooks a chinlock. He shouts to the crowd and they don’t shout back. A belly to back breaks the hold up and both guys are down. Watson hits another dropkick and a clothesline in the corner. A spinning splash gets two as Regal makes fun of JTG a little more. Kidd hits something like a spinning neckbreaker that has a long name including the word moss that I don’t feel like typing and a springboard elbow for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: C. Kidd is getting better and better every week and thankfully he’s regularly appearing on Smackdown because of it. However, I’d like to see him doing something more than just appearing on NXT beating up random former NXT rejects. They need to just turn this into its own independent show and make an NXT Champion already so Kidd can challenge for it.

Mahal says not to talk about Khali because he’s the only one that matters. Most of this isn’t in English so it’s hard to really get what’s going on. I think he says eat more chicken. His eyes are all freaky looking. Tonight he’s returning to greatness.

Usos vs. JTG/Darren Young

Why does no one jump the Usos during that dance thing they do? I mean….it wouldn’t be that hard. JTG vs. let’s say Jimmy (like I can tell them apart) to start us off. I was watching the 88 Great American Bash and turned off Fantastics vs. Midnight Express for this. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as good. Jimmy hits a northern lights suplex as we’re told that JTG never won a tag title despite being in a (not named) popular tag team.

Korpela talks about how there’s still a competition and says it’s about being the next break out star. There’s no mention of being on Season Six now. I think my blood pressure just dropped down to healthy. I think that’s Jimmy getting beaten down but I don’t particularly care enough to remember which has the chest tattoo. Hot tag brings in Jey who kicks and punches a lot. Young manages to grab a belly to back to Jimmy (I had them wrong) on the apron to shift momentum as we take a break.

Back with JTG coming in to pound on I guess Jimmy. After a long chinlock, Jey breaks up a cover and it’s off to Young. Regal explains the point of the rapid covers that don’t work as he says Young knows it’s not going to get a pin but it’ll drain Jimmy a lot. See, THAT is what an analyst is there for. He knows what he’s talking about because he’s been in there. It’s a lot better than saying someone is in the Fave Five which has about 27 people per week.

Jimmy’s back is worked on and Young sends him into the corner for two. Has anyone ever been pinned off an Irish Whip? Young slaps away at the back and hits a chinlock again, this time with the knee in the back. Maybe he did learn something in Nexus. Regal talks about how Young is working on the back. Korpela: “Good point.” Regal: “I know.” Jimmy breaks up the chinlock but JTG gets a tag to break it up again.

To my great surprise, this hasn’t been a very bad tag match. It’s amazing what random guys can do when they’re thrown out there and allowed some time to develop and get experience isn’t it? Jimmy sends JTG flying with something called an Alley-Us (I’d call it a flip but what do I know?). Either way it gets the tag in to Jey and the lower half of the house is cleaned. He hits the running Umaga smash to the face in the corner which Korpela says is shades of Rikishi and a double superkick sets up the superfly splash to Young for the pin at 11:23.

Rating: B-. I don’t know if it was the total lack of anticipation or expectations, but this was a pretty good match. The hot tag was obvious, but they built it up the whole time and with Regal talking about how good the back work was, I was getting into it a little bit at the end. Keep in mind that this was Usos vs. JTG/Darren Young and you’ll get why that’s a lot harder than it would be in most matches.

Post match the Usos celebrate but Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins run in for an attack. Again, that is almost territory style as you bring in whatever random talent you can find for a quick feud/program with someone else after another program is over.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this tonight because they got a step closer to making this the C show instead of the competition nonsense. Also it means no more Hornswoggle at least here which means maybe that story is over. AJ’s reaction to it made me chuckle too. When you look at this show, there’s the makings of some decent stuff, especially if they gave up on the competition and just let it be its own thing. Not bad here as it gets closer to dropping the NXT nonsense.

Results
Jinder Mahal b. Yoshi Tatsu – Full Nelson Slam
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Springboard Elbow
Usos b. Darren Young/JTG – Top rope splash to Young

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 26, 2011
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Booker T

Since we’re 8 days removed from Night of Champions and the WWE is stupid, this is the last Raw before Hell in a Cell. The main event is already set so I’d expect a lot of stuff being added in to fill up the midcard tonight. Also we should probably get some more on the firings of R-Truth and Miz tonight as we got some advancement in the whole big story last week. Let’s get to it.

Booker is in on commentary instead of Jerry due to Henry’s attack last week.

The Cell is hanging above the ring.

Alberto vs. Punk in the main event tonight.

Here’s HHH to open things up to a big ovation. He wants to explain the firings last week. The firings were due to this, and we throw it to a video about Truth and Miz freaking out post Night of Champions and about the events of the PPV and last week. After the video HHH says he didn’t buy the apology but he used them for one more main event then fired them. The fine however will still be paid but by Mark Henry for his attacks last week.

HHH says no one is bigger than the WWE and he’ll always do what is right for the company…and here are Vickie and Dolph. Dolph complains about getting his jaw broken by Hugh Jackman and the headlines on news sites because of it. He wants to know what HHH plans to do about it. HHH takes some not so subtle shots at Dolph and offers Dolph security for when the Muppets are here next month.

Cue Cody Rhodes who complains about Orton hitting him with the bell in the head and needing 9 staples to close it. Why wasn’t Orton fired or fined? HHH talks about how a few years ago Orton attacked his wife while HHH was handcuffed (nice touch by pointing out that Rhodes was there helping) and then he beat up Orton on Orton’s front line. Rhodes needs to man up. This draws out Christian who says HE was wronged the most by Sheamus for throwing him back into the ring against Henry. “It was a lumberjack match idiot.”

Christian threatens a huge lawsuit but won’t do it for the sake of one more match. That’s what Christian will get. At HIAC he’s getting one more match, but it’s against Sheamus. This Friday Christian gets one more match against Randy Orton. Tonight Christian gets one more match against John Cena. “Is it for the title?” “No.” Christian freaks out and leaves.

Ziggler yells some more and is told he has to defend the US Title tonight against Ryder. HHH says WOO WOO WOO You Know It. Cody is the last one in the ring and HHH gives him the night off. Cody says give yourself the night off. HHH doesn’t like this and says Cody is defending tonight. Every time Cody complains the match is upgraded. It goes from a triple threat to a fatal fourway to a ten man battle royal in about 15 seconds. The battle royal is up next. Cool.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

Cody Rhodes, John Morrison, Ezekiel Jackson, Drew McIntyre, Sin Cara, Ted DiBiase, Alex Riley, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Justin Gabriel

Cara gets an entrance and it’s the original blonde. Good pop for Sheamus and those are the only two who get entrances. Cody hits the floor quickly and Drew is beaten down and tossed in about 15 seconds. The other Sin Car comes in and takes the original’s place. Bryan tosses him a second later so we’re down to 8 in less than a minute. The original hits a rana off the steps to the fake one but isn’t allowed to go back in.

Cody is back in the ring now and Ted is all over him. Gabriel skins the cat and pulls Riley to the apron with him. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick but takes Riley out anyway. A double axe puts Gabriel out and we’re down to six. Make that four as Jackson throws out Bryan and Morrison in a double backdrop. Sheamus and Jackson (Legacy are the other two remaining guys) go at it in the big brawl and Jackson is beaten down quickly.

Ted tries to sneak in with Dream Street but gets put on the top rope and knocked out. Beautiful Disaster puts down Sheamus but Jackson throws Rhodes….to the apron. Jackson charges like an idiot and is tossed to get us down to Rhodes vs. Sheamus. Sheamus gets ready for the Cross but Christian comes out for the distraction. Cody can’t toss Sheamus in the distraction though so Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick and gets caught on the apron. Cody takes the mask off but Sheamus gets a shot in to block it. Christian distracts him though and a mask shot ends Sheamus at 4:34 for Cody to retain.

Rating: D+. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was pretty weak. They had some drama at the end which helped but people went out so fast that it was hard to get into it. With a person going out about every 30 seconds there’s only so much you can do as far as getting into this. Not a very good match and not very interesting.

Christian rams Sheamus’ arm into the post and yells a lot.

We get a clip of Henry beating Jerry down last week.

David Otunga says that he’s got a law degree (and he has the bowtie to prove it) and Johnny Ace says maybe he should do something about the safety of people.

Video on Kelly Kelly.

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix

Eve has changed her hair and it’s not working for me as bangs are never my thing. Beth and Eve get us started but it’s off to Natalya quickly who interlocks her legs with Eve’s and rolls her over so that their legs are both up in the air and it’s torquing her back and neck. That looks awesome. Back to Beth and off to Kelly who does her usual stuff including a spank and the screaming headscissors. Eve misses a charge but Kelly throws Natalya out anyway. Beth gets the Glam Slam and we’re done at 3:17.

Rating: D. Ok so let’s see. It’s taken us two PPVs and two Raw matches to get us to the point where we all knew it was going eventually: Beth beats up Kelly and pins her with the Glam Slam. Is there any reason it took us this long? I’m guessing Kelly somehow blames Eve because Kelly is the special angel that can’t do anything wrong or whatever so Eve has to turn out of it. Bad match but that’s expected.

Mark Henry vs. Great Khali

Khali only weighs 350lbs now. Before the match Henry hits Khali in the head with the world title and hits him with the Slam. Henry yells a lot and leaves while only sweating a few buckets, which is normal for him. No match.

Here’s Cena to get into the Cell which is halfway lowered. The fans pop big for Cena holding up the title. He talks about this Sunday and it’s going to be the first triple threat ever in the Cell. Cena talks about how this Sunday he’s going to use the Cell as a problem solver to prove he’s the best. He plays up the brutality of the match and says he doesn’t lose it Sunday.

This brings out Alberto as well as Punk in a sports coat for commentary on the next match.

John Cena vs. Christian

Yes we have 5 people on commentary tonight. Christian is launched into the ceiling quickly and Punk argues with Alberto almost immediately. Alberto yells and Punk says Alberto is half undressed. Christian takes over with high impact stuff but misses a swan dive. Cena fires off the shoulders but the Proto Bomb is countered. Killswitch doesn’t work either and there’s the Bomb. There’s the Shuffle but Christian runs before the AA can hit. They go to the floor and onto the table where Alberto jumps Punk. Christian gets a shot in on Cena but runs into the AA. And here’s Alberto for the DQ at 3:20.

Rating: C-. The stuff we got was ok but this was barely enough to grade. I don’t get how this really pushes forward the match but maybe they should have more than 13 days to promote the thing? That would make sense though so we’ll have to throw that explanation out the window. Not much to see here.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

If this actually happens….I can’t say I’d really be complaining. Before the match we get a recap of last week’s Jackman stuff. Ziggler goes right at him and Ryder is in trouble. Swagger is at ringside too. A splash in the corner misses for Dolph and his head cracks the buckle. Ryder pounds him down and does the Woo Woo Woo kick in the corner. Vickie is on the apron and the Rough Ryder misses. Swagger clotheslines Ryder on the ropes and the Zig Zag keeps the title on Ziggler at 2:03.

Post match the Vickie Family tries to beat Ryder down but Air Boom’s pyro messes up and they run out for the save. Teddy Long comes out and makes a six man. Vickie has until after the commercial to find a third man. If she can’t, it’s a handicap match.

Air Boom/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

There’s no third man nor Vickie when we come back so it’s 3-2. Swagger vs. Kofi to get us going and Kofi takes over quickly. Off to Bourne who doesn’t do as well because he’s Evan Bourne and it’s his job to be destroyed a lot. Swagger goes way old school and hooks on the Rings of Saturn. Kofi comes in off a hot tag and hits a cross body which isn’t nearly as good as most of his usual ones.

He does the jumping ten punches in the corner to Swagger and Vickie comes back with Mason Ryan with longer hair. Do was have a Vickie Family now? The African escapes a German from the All-American and brings in Ryder. Ryder gets to meet Ryan….who beats up Swagger instead and tags in Ziggler by slamming him into the ring. A spinning release Rock Bottom leaves Ziggler dead and the Rough Ryder pins Ziggler at 6:31.

Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the ending was a good thing as we have a reason for a third match now, possibly at the PPV. Ryder has a chance to get a big push and this might be the right time to do it. Air Boom is getting some traction and that’s what they need to do at this point. Pretty boring match and it’s pretty clear that they weren’t all that into it out there.

Video on the Cell which we saw last week.

We run down the PPV card and Kelly defends against Beth again. JR: “Beth finally gets her opportunity.” I’m leaving that one alone.

Otunga talks to Christian, Vickie, Dolph and Cody about a lawsuit and says it’s important they’re all together in this.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Cena is out for commentary. CM pounds him down quickly and we head to the floor. Punk throws Del Rio in Cena’s direction and Johnny isn’t thrilled with it. Back inside Alberto takes Punk’s head off with a kick to take over. This is more of a brawl than a match. Punk pounds him down in the corner and then fires off the knee lifts. Del Rio lands an enziguri to send Punk to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Del Rio escaping the GTS and getting two on a DDT. A kick to the head gets two and it’s time for arm work. Punk’s arm goes into the post and a dropkick gets two. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Ricardo freaks. Back in a big kick misses for Punk and Del Rio stuns the arm. It’s good that he’s showing psychology here which is something you rarely miss with Del Rio. That’s such a nice breath of air.

They slug it out and Punk sells the arm by shaking it a bit. A leg lariat/kick to the face takes Del Rio down and there’s the knee/bulldog combination but the bulldog is countered. A Codebreaker to the arm gets two and Alberto is fired up. Punk fires off some kicks and that’s enough for the pin (yes, a non-finisher got a pin) at 12:02.

Rating: C. Not bad here and the ending is a nice touch here but I’m not entirely sure what the point of it was. I mean…Del Rio looks totally weak here which means he’s probably going to win the title back on Sunday because that’s how WWE rolls. Nothing impressive here but it could have been a lot worse I guess.

The Cell lowers and Ricardo is trapped inside with all three of them. He takes both finishers and the Super Best Friends escape finishers before Del Rio smacks them both with a chair and lays them out.

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one at all. Two weeks is not enough time to set up a PPV and that’s all there is to it. I mean there’s nothing else to say about it and the build for this Sunday’s show proves it. The show doesn’t feel developed at all and it’s like “hey let’s just throw everyone into the Cell and hope for the best.” The match should be ok but there’s no reason for this to be in the cage. Tonight’s show felt like it was trying to piece together a PPV using glue and paperclips and that’s not something I’d ever pay $45 to see. Weak Raw and a horrible buildup show.

Results
Cody Rhodes won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Natlya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly Kelly
John Cena b. Christian via disqualification when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Zach Ryder – Zig Zag
Air Boom/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Mason Ryan – Rough Ryder to Ziggler
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – High Kick

Final Battle 2006
Date: December 23, 2006
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Lenny Leonard, Dave Prazak

To say I don’t know much about ROH would be an understatement. I know it’s the biggest indy company out there and that’s about it. This is the second show of theirs that I’ve done so I’m at least trying. This is one of their bigger shows of the year and the name comes from that it’s the last show of the year. This is also three and a half hours long so it’s going to be a long night. I’ll do what I can as far as knowing names, but I make no promises about having a clue as to what’s going on. Let’s get to it.

We see Homicide and Danielson walking into the arena. That’s the main event.

And Santa Claus is here. Ok then with an elf. The fans recognize him apparently. There’s another elf in his bag. They throw out t-shirts until some guys come in and beat the heck out of them with chairs and some nice double team stuff. Ah they’re the Briscoes. I knew they looked familiar. They want the Kings of Wrestling, more commonly known as Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. Ah apparently those were ROH students. That’s what I was betting on.

Jimmy Jacobs talks about being a stranger in this city. He talks about wanting to hurt Colt Cabana and BJ Whitmer. He loved this chick named Lacey (not that Lacey. This one has talent) and Colt slept with her and BJ messed her face up. He’s teaming with Brent Albright later against those two. This would lead into the Age of the Fall about 9 months later which is what got me to somewhat follow ROH.

The fans are chanting OLE so I’m betting on a luchador. And I’m right.

El Generico vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Davey Richards vs. Christopher Daniels

To say the fans don’t like Rave is an understatement. It’s nice to hear some good solid insults unlike a WWE show. A DIE JIMMY DIE chant starts up. Ok then. Richards is a big deal now and allegedly is the future of the company. He comes out to Runnin With The Devil so I can’t complain. This is a four corner survival match which I’m guessing means elimination rules? Daniels is a tag champion here.

The fans like fallen angels apparently. Maybe this is the Daniels I always hear about being awesome. There’s a fairly hot chick with him named Allison Danger so I can’t complain. His entrance takes a LONG time. She’s a girl scout and the fans want cookies. That’s creative at least. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and we just now hear the announcers. Richards and Generico start.

This is two outside and two inside. We stall for a LONG time to start, namely due to Generico continuously shouting OLE! We’ll be getting a year in review kind of thing also which is a major plus for me. We hear about Rave having a heel hook that got Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) to tap out.

Richards is confused by Generico. Hey I’m thinking like Richards! Daniels’ partner is Matt Sydal, more commonly known as Evan Bourne. Danger is the sister of Steve Corino. Dang. Scratch the elimination part as it’s first pinfall wins. That kind of makes no sense but whatever. Rave vs. Daniels now. Daniels wins. Like, wins a lot. Not the match, just the fight. Wow I worded that one badly didn’t I?

I never liked Rave in TNA and I think I’m seeing why again here. Danger gets the fans to cheer. That’s what a manager is supposed to do partially so she’s doing her job. Richards is fun to watch if nothing else. A German on Generico gets two. Best Moonsault Ever is broken up.

They’re doing a good job of keeping it at about three people in there which is nice instead of the usual two pairings these devolve into. Rave is being smart and just letting these three fight. I’m not entirely sure why the crowd is this into it though. It’s not that great. Generico hits his brainbuster on the turnbuckle on Richards, but Rave made a tag when they were in the corner.

He slips in and gets his heel hook for the submission. Pay no attention to the total lack of tagging for the five minutes before this. He gets on the mic and complains about respect but Nigel McGuinness comes out and slaps him.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it wasn’t anything great. It just came off as being all over the place and lost its structure about 10 minutes in. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s just not that good. Having the heel win the opener is a bit of a head scratcher too but that’s fine I suppose. Just nothing to make me that into the show.

Adam Pearce vs. Ricky Reyes

Pearce is the current NWA World Champion but that hadn’t happened yet. Pearce is kind of a throwback to old heels but the doesn’t have a lot of the talent to do so. He dedicates the night to Jim Cornette for no apparent reason.

He guarantees Homicide doesn’t leave with the world title. Both of these guys have seconds here, one of which is named Shane Hangadorn and the other of which is named Julius Smokes. Pearce apparently looks like Repo Man. This is impromptu even though both came down in their ring attire and they had graphics ready for their names. Sure why not.

Apparently if Homicide loses here he quits. Hagadorn throws something to Pearce and he blasts Reyes with it for the pin. Short and pretty uninteresting. Smokes gets beaten up too.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all but to be fair it was fairly short so I can’t complain much. I’ve never thought much of Pearce and this Smokes guy is getting very annoying very quickly. I’m not sure what the point of this was but it didn’t work that well.

Jimmy Jacobs/Brent Albright vs. BJ Whitmer/Colt Cabana

Cabana’s music is catchy if nothing else. It’s a brawl immediately as we’re told Albright is a gun for hire. Well that explains why he’s in there. We get a series of 2-1s until we get to…more 2-1s. I don’t think there are faces and heels here or anything as they might be all faces. Not sure though. I think Whitmer and Cabana are the default heels but I’m not sure.

We almost get a table spot but Albright makes the save. Whitmer does a cool thing as he suplexes both himself and Jacobs to the floor. It’s better than it sounds. We haven’t had anything resembling a coherent match as it’s all just a big mess so far. Not bad though. Finally we get Whitmer vs. Jacobs who used to be tag partners. They used to be tag champions if that means anything.

Albright hooks a crossface minus the arm trap on Whitmer while looks good. Jacobs is completely obsessed with Lacey but she doesn’t care for him romantically. Welcome to my world kid. Cabana hasn’t been in the match legally yet and we’re a good ways into it. Cabana just comes in after that and hits a sweet moonsault.

He’s actually dominating with a move called the Butt Butt. It’s like a headbutt but with the…you get the idea. Yeah it’s odd. Actually Goldust used to do that. It breaks down into a total mess until Albright just goes off on everyone and powerbombs Whitmer through the table at ringside. Cabana gets destroyed by rolling Germans so Jacobs can hit a senton off the top for the pin.

Rating: B-. Again not bad and while it’s better than the opener, it’s still nothing great. To be fair though there hasn’t been much build up to these matches although I’d bet on the main events to be pretty well put together. This wasn’t terrible but it certainly wasn’t great either. Decent enough match though.

Ad for ROH’s website where they have WWE and TNA DVDs. Ok then.

Kings of Wrestling vs. Briscoe Brothers

The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli in case you weren’t sure. They’re actually the tag champions there again now which is a bit surprising. For awhile they had the ROH, CZW and CHIKARA tag belts at the same time. There was a CZW vs. ROH story for a good part of 2006 which is how Hero got to ROH permanently.

He has his new agent, Larry Sweeney, with him. Claudio might be going to WWE. He talks about signing a contract and was written out of storylines, but he didn’t go for some reason. They’re heels here but the fans love them. The Briscoes though are the most popular team ever in ROH so there we are. And we have no commentary. Ok then. One of the Briscoes hits a huge dive onto the Kings.

Ah there’s the commentary. Alright Jay has the tattoo on his back. Got it. The Briscoes are kind of like a bigger and more intense Hardys, just they’re less interesting. It’s dueling chants time. In a nice move Castagnoli hits a European Uppercut to the back of Jay. Claudio had been the abandoner of the company back in the CZW war in case you care. Both of the Kings are really tall.

I always have issues filling in time when a face is getting beaten down by nothing that impressive. Hero makes a nice save to stop the hot tag. Nice one. Hero hooks a WEIRD hold where he hooks the arms of Jay behind his own back and lifts them up with his feet. FREAKING OW! Mark finally comes in off the hot tag and of course he tidies up a bit. He didn’t do enough to classify that as cleaning.

Claudio hits a top rope European Uppercut and a Riccola Bomb (Arm Trap Sitout Powerbomb) for two. You know I wonder what would happen if you tagged one of your opponents. Would it be legal? Hard to say. Ok not really but stupid stuff like this pops into my head at times. Sweeney has been WORTHLESS here. I forgot he was there. That’s never a good sign.

A Doomsday Rana (Use your imaginations) and a Frog Splash get two on Claudio. I would have expected that to be the finish actually. In an insane looking move, Claudio has a Briscoe hanging both ways around his neck and spins them around into a half powerbomb half electric chair. Just awesome looking as far as a power display goes.

That of only gets two. Everybody busts out finishers and all four are down. GREAT sequence. Claudio kicks out at two as everyone is more or less dead. We’re closing in on twenty minutes here so I can’t blame them. With Sweeney on the apron, Claudio accidentally blasts Hero in the head with a briefcase and a Shooting Star/Guillotine Legdrop combination ends it. Dang I wish the ending had been cleaner.

Rating: B+. Fun match here as these guys just beat the heck out of each other. The one thing though is that ending. After that much they had to use a weapon shot for it? I’m not into that. Also Sweeney was more or less forgotten until the very end which is rather irritating to me for some reason. Still though, very fun match.

Post match, Claudio thanks the fans for the cheers but says he’s not going to WWE. He says just and see what the Kings of Wrestling have in store for the coming year. Sweeney then gets on the mic and says no because Claudio broke up the team and it’s over. Ok then.

With Claudio alone in the ring, here’s Samoa Joe. Joe is, in a word, huge in ROH. This is the Joe that stormed into TNA and took the place over. How did they mess him up again? Joe tells him to get out of his ring. For fear of being eaten by Joe, Claudio agrees. Joe makes a challenge to Pro Wrestling Noah and in particular Misawa.

He says bring on anyone from London or Japan but on February 16, there’s going to be a fight in New York. Nigel McGuinness comes out and accepts the challenge. And here’s Jimmy Rave to beat up McGuinness. Joe slaps him around and we’re going to get Rave vs. Nigel later on.

It’s intermission time so Adam Pearce and Shane Hagadorn harass Gary Michael Capetta who looks to be about 90. They must have edited most of  intermission as we’re already back.

Jimmy Rave vs. Nigel McGuinness

Well that didn’t take long to sanction and sign did it? It’s weird seeing Wolfe with spiked hair. He’s ridiculously popular though, just like in TNA so of course he can’t be pushed right? They shake left hands for some odd reason. That’s different. This isn’t much but to be fair they have a feud going so this works.

I still don’t get the appeal of Rave though. Nigel does an insane submission hold where he locks Rave’s arm around his leg and traps the other arm behind Nigel’s back and bends backwards which looked like it was going to rip it off. The crowd goes oooooo at that. Nigel is apparently a big deal here. Nigel takes his head off with a clothesline but it gets two. Oh I’m sorry: it was a lariat.

Tower of London hits and Nigel isn’t sure what to do. Rave hits a Pedigree for one. Rave counters a Hulking Up Nigel into a Crippler Crossface. As impressive as Rave has been, I still just don’t care about him. Nigel hits a Tower of London (Diamond Cutter) onto the apron, which would be about the same as the mat wouldn’t it? It gets two either way so it doesn’t really matter.

And then after getting destroyed for about five minutes, Rave gets the heel hook and Nigel taps despite never having his leg worked on at all. I HATE moves like that. If that’s the case, why in the world would he wait almost fifteen minutes before going for it? At least with a strike like Sweet Chin Music it’s a knockout move.

This is just a submission which makes a part of the body hurt. Why go for the Crossface earlier? That makes NO SENSE. It’s completely anti-psychology and that’s just irritating. Plus it’s Jimmy Rave so it’s even more annoying. Rave wants a world title shot.

Rating: B-. Totally annoying ending aside, this was a pretty solid match I guess. There were a ton of near falls but you could see the ending coming a mile away with about three minutes to go. Nigel looks dominant but let’s push Rave because…well just because! Didn’t like the ending at all but the rest was good.

Danielson is getting ready.

Matt Sydal/Shingo/CIMA vs. Delirious/Austin Aries/Roderick Strong

Sydal is more commonly known as Evan Bourne as I mentioned above. Shingo is from Dragon Gate and CIMA might be as well. His name is pronounced Shima so this could lead to some misspellings. Also, I’m not capitalizing his name again. It’s the same thing despite what some would have you believe. Delirious is….yeah.

Aries is the only two time ROH World Champion so he’s something special here. Strong is a guy with something like 16 ways to hit a backbreaker. This is under Dragon Gate Rules which aren’t explained. Strong, Aries and Sydal were in a team called Generation Next together.

Apparently you don’t have to tag to switch off but you have to be on offense. Ok that makes sense. Delirious goes into a trance and goes insane once the bell rings. He’s definitely interesting if nothing else. He’s great in the ring if nothing else. He starts with Sydal who I’ll likely call Bourne at least once. This is your usual insane Japanese match and apparently the fans like Cima.

There isn’t much to talk about here other than it’s just general insanity the whole time. This is what you call a spotfest with some mild wrestling involved. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s not comparable to traditional matches. It’s weird seeing Sydal being considered a serious competitor rather than a spot monkey or jobber.

The fans like both teams. Aries is getting beaten down pretty fiercely. I think the team with the Japanese guys and Sydal are the heels even though Daniels, Sydal’s partner, was ridiculously popular. Fisherman’s suplex gets two on Aries. Strong gets the tag and comes in and he and Delirious clean house.

Cima is getting his head handed to him. With everyone brawling on the floor, Sydal goes up top and the crowd just rises to their feet. Great visual there. Delirious hits Shadows Over Hell (Splash to the back of a guy not on the mat) is followed by a 450 from Aries. This is totally insane. Cobra Stretch, Delirious’ submission, is broken up. Cima hits a package piledriver on Delirious for the pin.

Rating: B. This falls into that gray arena of entertaining but bad as far as flow or anything like that goes. Then again that’s kind of the point of the Dragon Gate promotion. This was supposed to be completely insane and it more or less was. It was fun though so I can’t complain much at all.

Everybody helps everybody up in a nice moment. Not everything has to be some epic storyline.

Homicide is ready.

Jack Evans returns in 2007.

ROH World Title: Homicide vs. Bryan Danielson

We have 54 minutes left in this tape. Let’s see if these two are as good as they’re said to be. We’re in Homicide’s hometown so he’s WAY over. It’s a good thing his first name isn’t commonly known. It might be hard to take a guy named Nelson seriously as s street thug. Danielson’s Final Countdown intro is cool too so I’ll give him that. He certainly has his fans too.

I’ve heard great things about both guys in this company so show me what you’ve got. We get the big match intros which are always fun. Danielson is heel here because he more or less has to be. We stall forever as the fans chant ring the bell. Danielson flips him off instead of shaking his hand like the Code of Honor stipulates. Here we go. About forty six and a half minutes to go in the tape at the bell so we’ve got a LOT of time here.

Some guy shows up to do commentary but his name is incomprehensible. We get a long feeling out sequence and Homicide takes off his bandana. Homicide has apparently had some shady decisions in title matches and if he doesn’t win here he’s gone, more or less saying he wins. At least I think so as he came to TNA around this time.

Smokes, the guy that got hurt earlier, isn’t here due to Pearce and Hagadorn. Homicide has a bad shoulder apparently thanks to Danielson last night. Danielson has tights like Regal used to wear. We have a lot of quick holds as they try to gain control. Apparently Danielson has a bad shoulder too.

No one really has an advantage for more than a few seconds here so we’re really still feeling each other out here. Apparently in a previous title match Homicide was getting hit in the head a lot and the referee stopped it which he disagreed with. The surfboard continues to look completely insane every time I see it.

This is wrestler vs. brawler here which is always an interesting dynamic. We get a slingshot suplex as Danielson is in control at this point. Scratch that as Homicide takes over. We hit the floor and Danielson is in trouble. We get the I HAVE TIL FIVE thing which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Three Amigos takes over for Homicide as Eddie had been dead just over a year at this point.

And at about 11 minutes in, Pearce and Hagadorn run in for the DQ. Are you kidding me? Danielson leaves with the belt as Homicide’s Crew makes the save. The crowd LOSES IT over this as even the commentators are saying YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. Apparently they are as the referee says no way it ends that way and let’s keep going!

Here we go again as we’re back at it. Oh and the running in heels hit a spike shoulderbreaker on Homicide’s bad shoulder so it’s hurt now. I don’t get the point of the run in at all here. At least it happened I guess you would say early on in the match rather than later so that’s good. It’s his right arm if you’re curious.

Smokes is at ringside now. Oh joy. Danielson is in control now as you would expect him to be. Danielson goes for a flying headbutt and gets caught in a Diamond Cutter (Yes I know it’s properly called an Ace Crusher. If you want to argue which name is more famous I’d love to hear it) Also, assuming the headbutt was launched when Homicide was on the mat, dang he got up fast.

Homicide speeds things up and dives into the second row through the ropes in a cool looking spot. Now Danielson’s shoulder is hurt. This has been a very back and forth match. Danielson gets caught in an armbar but gets to the ropes for the escape. I love that jumping European Uppercut off the top. A crossface chickenwing goes on but more ropes are grabbed.

They trade strikes and hit the floor. Homicide slides back in and hits the ropes so he can….slide back out. Sure why not. Danielson hits a dive into the first few rows that looked great. Can we get rid of that Smokes idiot? He’s getting on my nerves. Danielson starts the series of elbows to the head like he did in the previous match but it doesn’t work.

There’s the crossface chickenwing and the body scissors in the middle of the ring. In a cool spot, the arm comes down a third time but as the referee goes for the bell, Homicide grabs his leg. And Smokes of course has to pour water on Homicide. Seriously, can someone shoot this guy?

Danielson doesn’t let go on the five count so Homicide just gets up. Uh, why didn’t he DO THAT EARLIER? Danielson gets Cattle Mutilation. One thing I want to know: where in the world did he come up with that name? Did he throw that on one day and was thinking about what would happen if he did it to a cow?

He hooks it three times but Homicide won’t tap. He throws in more elbows to the head but he stays in it. Homicide gets the Cop Killer (Vertebreaker for you WCW fans) for a LONG two but Danielson grabs the ropes. Homicide pulls a Randy Savage and goes for the ring bell which leads nowhere.

And then Danielson gets a low blow and small package for two and then Homicide hits a lariat for the pin. Seriously, that might have been the most out of nowhere ending ever. The ring mostly fills up for a celebration. Now can we please kill Julius Smokes?

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match and well worth seeing. There were some moments I didn’t like, but they were few and far between. Homicide winning was pretty clear but it came off well. They built up to a great match and I liked what I saw. Danielson is still overrated, but this was very good stuff. Homicide just doesn’t feel like a world champion to me, but I was impressed. Solid match and worth seeing.

Danielson hands him the belt and Homicide makes his acceptance speech. The remaining eleven minutes are him celebrating and highlights of the year which mean nothing to me since I don’t know who these people are.

Overall Rating: A-. Again I liked this show a lot. There’s one bad match and the rest is all at least good with the main event being great. This was a great show to close things out with for the year and it came off great with a big time title win. This is a great look at the company as you have a title match, a big angle, a lot of high flying, some good mat work and submission stuff in front of a white hot albeit small crowd. This was a great show and well worth checking out.