Impact Wrestling – November 17, 2011 – We Have An Attacker

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 16, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well we’re after the Turning Point PPV now and head towards Final Resolution which is likely going to see AJ vs. Roode II because AJ was injured in the previous match. Also because there really isn’t anyone else to face Roode at the moment. Other than that, expect more Bischoff vs. Bischoff stuff to bore the fans out of their minds. Impact has been good lately though so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event of Turning Point where Roode cheated to keep the title.

Here’s Roode to open the show. He says it’s a shame to think he was part of Fourtune. He was the star, he was the leader and he was the future of the company. Roode says he got rid of the two of them and here’s Storm. They’ve made him the real star of the company in this. Storm wants to know why Roode jumped him, which Roode denies. Storm doesn’t care so he charges but security stops him. He turns around to have AJ behind him and the beating is on. Security pulls them apart and are about as successful as they usually are.

Post break AJ rants some more and Roode says no rematch. The brawl starts up again and cue Sting. He makes a 30 minute iron man match for Final Resolution for the title.

After we hear Taz and Mike talk a bit, Roode goes after Dixie in the front row. AJ makes the save but Roode hits him in the back to knock Dixie down as well.

Joe comes up to Storm in the back and says it wasn’t Roode as he saw him the whole time. Joe says it wasn’t him either. They fight anyway since this is TNA where backstage brawls are required by law.

Sting goes after Roode post break, saying that was like putting Roode’s hands on Sting.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

Pope is hitting on some blonde outside. D-Von takes over to start and runs him over with a clothesline. Some shoulders and a side slam put him down as well. D-Von throws him to the floor right in front of Pope. Pope slaps Robbie and is drilled by Terry for his efforts. D-Von’s kids go after Terry for no apparent reason and Eric Young comes down to pop Terry with a chair which does nothing. D-Von’s distraction lets Robbie roll him up at 2:00 to retain.

D-Von yells at his kids post match and they stay with Pope.

Sting talks to Garrett, praising him for his match last week. Garrett wants more of Gunner and Sting isn’t sure. Garrett leaves when Morgan and Crimson come up. They wind up with a tag title shot later in the show. Sting is worried about the lack of a tag division or something.

Eric and Flair rant about Garret when Sting comes up to them talk about the rewriting of Bischoff’s contract. However Eric doesn’t have a signed contract so it doesn’t mean jack. Sting makes Garrett vs. Gunner for later.

Kid Kash/Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick

Kendrick has dark hair now. Jesse vs. Kash to start because we haven’t seen that enough yet. Cross body off the top gets two for Jesse. Aries won’t tag in and Kash gets rolled up for two by Kendrick. Aries comes in for about a second, ducks an enziguri and here’s Kash again. Hot tag to Jesse and he gets a northern lights for two. Aries walks out to make this a handicap match. Kash misses a moonsault and Sorensen hits a reverse Cross Rhodes (it ends in a DDT) for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: C-. I’m so over Kid Kash at this point that it’s not even funny. The guy is old, he’s fat, he can’t talk, and he’s not interesting. He’s never meant anything but he’s running his mouth about being a legend which no one even remembers. Nothing to see here as it’s the same stuff they’ve been doing for awhile.

Karen is her usual self and gives Gail the night off.

Anderson is playing a football game in the back when Storm comes up, wanting to know if Anderson had anything to do with it.

Gauntlet Match

There are ten chicks in it and the winner is #1 contender. Velvet vs. Rosita starts us off. I’ll only be giving the total time for this. Velvet is in blue which I highly approve of. Velvet hits a facebuster to end Rosita in about 4 seconds. Tessmacher is next and we have some good looking women in TNA. Brooke takes over and hits her Stinkface thing and takes her top off. A bulldog ends her a second later.

Fourth is Angelina who counters the facebuster into a rollup with tights to end it. I hate gauntlet matches because most of them are quick wins that are totally unrealistic by comparison to regular matches. Velvet kicks Mickie in the face on her way to the ring and we take a break. Back with Love hammering on Mickie which doesn’t last long as Mickie kicks her head off for a quick pin.

Off to Sarita in 6th and this is UGLY. Sarita botches a springboard move, landing on Mickie’s head despite Mickie ducking. A sloppy jumping DDT (head didn’t hit) ends this a bit later. Tara is 7th and they hit the match. Tara throws on a heel hook and then the standing moonsault for two. Another somewhat bad jumping DDT gets us to Winter who is still gorgeous. A bridging suplex gets two as Mickie is getting tired.

Mickie escapes a fireman’s carry and hits a SICK kick to Winter’s head for the elimination. ODB is in at 9 and is A LOT slimmer. She even had abs. A fallaway slam sets up a nipup and a Bronco Buster. She’s in camo pants now which works a lot better for her than the long shirt she usually wears. Top rope Thesz Press gets rid of ODB and Madison is last. ODB drills Mickie before leaving and hits a TKO (love that move). Madison walks around forever and Mickie rolls her up for a surprise pin at 15:02.

Rating: D. I hate these matches. The 9 eliminations took WAY too short an amount of time and it’s unrealistic even from a wrestling perspective. Nothing to see here although the girls looked hot and it’s amazing how much better/in depth the Knockouts are than the Divas at this point.

Ray is talking to some ugly chick (joke from Turning Point I think) when Storm comes up. He says take a free shot because he thinks Ray was involved. Ray says no but he knows who it was and that person is here. He offers Storm a spot in Immortal and Storm turns him down flat.

Garrett says he hopes Gunner underestimates him again tonight.

Here’s Hardy and we get a quick shot from Turning Point where he beat Jarrett three times in a row. He says thanks to the fans and promises to always be there for them. His sights are shifting to the world title and that brings out Karen. She says someone with some balls needs to put Hardy in his place. She has the biggest set here and says Hardy needs to do more than just have sad eyes.

What he did at Turning Point wasn’t being a man and Hardy needs to be one. She calls Hardy disrespectful and talks about Hardy’s wife Beth. Karen pretended to be Beth’s friend and performance problems are implied. She tries to get Jeff to hit her and says he didn’t beat Jarrett fairly. Karen goes to slap him but Jeff blocks it. Here’s Jeff Jarrett with the AAA belt but Hardy sees it coming. Karen tries a low blow but Hardy grabs it and the brawl is on.

Flair and Bischoff give Gunner a pep talk, saying destroy Garrett tonight.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Crimson vs. Anarquia starts us off and the chicks distract Red Boy so Hernandez can clothesline him down. LAX beats on Crimson who can’t get anything going in the first three minutes or so. A shoulder/spear takes down SuperMex and it’s a double tag for Morgan and Anarquia. Morgan throws everyone around and chokeslams Anarquia for two. Exploder suplex and the Carbon Footprint give us new champions at 5:21.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the titles need a shot in the arm at this point. Maybe this is it and that’s perfectly fine. I hope this goes somewhere different than Morgan and Hernandez went to as that did no one any favors. Too short to mean much but this could have been a lot worse. At least Mexican America and their dead end gimmick is over.

Storm thinks he knows who the attacker is.

Garrett Bischoff vs. Gunner

Sting, Eric and Flair are in corners. Garrett has his own song now. He uses basic stuff to start and it’s off to Gunner in control because he’s, you know, not a referee. A charge of his hits the post but Eric grabs Garrett’s foot and Gunner takes over again. A spear in the corner has Garrett in trouble but you know the fluke pin is coming. And there it is as Garrett counters a suplex into a DDT for the clean pin at 3:56.

Rating: F. The match sucked, but maybe that’s because HE IS A REFEREE. I know he’s Bischoff’s son, and that’s what’s wrong with this story: the guy has no reason to be in the ring but he’s there anyway because he’s Eric Bischoff’s son and is getting 3-4 segments a show and going over people like Gunner instead of people like Alex Shelley or someone else going over him. That’s why this angle doesn’t work.

Here’s Storm for the big finish. He says he’s being passed over because he’s too southern and that’s not right. Storm calls out AJ of all people and Styles is a little banged up still. AJ: “Are you kidding me?” AJ doesn’t think that makes sense because he’s been the one behind Storm the entire time. Storm points out that ever since Storm has been on the shelf, AJ has gotten two shots at Roode. Styles says Sting made those decisions and denies being the attacker.

They’re about to fight when Kaz comes out to break them up. Kaz gets AJ out of the ring and Angle comes in from under the ring for the beatdown. We have an attacker.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty decent show tonight where the wrestling matches don’t add up to the final grade of the show. A good amount of stuff happened here with new champions and a new main event level feud starting up. I’m ok with Angle being the guy but it can’t end with Angle going over Storm. They’ve made a new star in the Cowboy and they need to keep him strong. Beating Angle in a feud would be a great way to do that, but Angle going over would completely miss the point. Decent show tonight though.

Results
Robbie E b. D-Von – Rollup
Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash/Austin Aries – Spinning DDT to Kash
Mickie James won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne
Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Mexican America – Carbon Footprint to Anarquia
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner – DDT

 

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