Smackdown
Date: November 25, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

After Survivor Series it looks like we’re moving closer to Show vs. Henry III at TLC. The build up for it looks like it’ll be a chair match which is fine as I don’t want to see them in a ladder match. Other than that, I’m not sure what else we could see on the show tonight. Hopefully the show before the live one next week should be good. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Show vs. Henry at the PPV and Show breaking Mark’s leg post match.

Here’s Henry to open the show, on crutches. He talks about pain and says he’s hurt but not broken. The fans aren’t all that enthused with him. A champion fights through pain, but he can’t compete tonight due to Teddy Long. Here comes Big Show who complains about Henry intentionally lost but next time….and Henry says there won’t be a next time. They stare it down and Show knocks him out cold.

HERE’S BRYAN!!! HE CASHES IN THE CASE AND GETS THE TITLE (AFTER ROLLING HENRY OVER LIKE A BURRITO)!!! Cole loses his mind and calls Bryan a hypocrite as Bryan nearly breaks the title throwing it around so much. HUGE pop for the title change, but since the fans are interested in that, here’s Teddy to say that Henry wasn’t awake so it didn’t count. I guess if you cripple Bryan’s continuity you have to keep the MITB continuity to balance things out.

Cole’s celebration is great, cheering Teddy on the entire time. Henry gets up and takes the title back before leaving. Bryan gets the case back but is really ticked off. However, Teddy gives him the consolation of putting him in the main event with Barrett, Rhodes and Orton in a fatal fourway #1 contender match for the world title shot next Tuesday.

Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

The title match next week is in a cage and Big Show gets the title shot at TLC. Hunico takes over and the announcers are ignoring everything going on in the match. Time for a chinlock and this match is far more boring than you would expect it to be. A slingshot dropkick puts Gabriel in the corner but he fights back and hits a corkscrew plancha to the floor. A Lionsault gets two. They go up to the corner where Gabriel gets knocked off. A Swanton Bomb ends this at 4:22.

Rating: D+. This got better once Gabriel went on offense but other than that everything was really dull. Gabriel can dive really well and I have no idea what the point was with having Hunico get a push. The guy is such a generic character and there’s no point to any of his push at all. He’ll get a mild push and then will fade back to FCW. Not much to see here.

Video on the European tour. Punk: “I can’t pronounce any of the cities we went to.”

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

Think this will be a squash? It’s the blue show so that means the evil ones will dominate. Alicia is on commentary with them here. Kaitlyn vs. Nattie gets us going and the Canadian one is in some trouble. I don’t see this lasting. Off to AJ and there goes the advantage. A rollup gets two for the smaller one. And there’s the Sharpshooter for the tap at 1:04. Kaitlyn doesn’t break it up that quickly.

The heels do the double beatdown post match and the CRY thing until Alicia makes the save. Kaitlyn isn’t really interested.

Kane is still coming back in the mask. My question about this is based on an old Chris Rock line: “We know what you look like!”

Teddy is in his office and says Foley is going to host next week. Cue the still hot Aksana who asks about mistletoe. Henry comes in to complain and says he’s injured. Teddy says he needs a huge main event and the doctors said Mark is ready to go. Henry gets all mad and we’re told it’s a cage match, which Matthews told us earlier. Mark is all mad and says Teddy will get his.

Sheamus and Ryder says they’ll be Broskis after Ryder gets the title. He sings a techno version of Sheamus’ song and Big Pasty gets all mad. Then he smiles and Ryder can breathe again.

Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Zack Ryder

Ryder comes out, and for the first time ever I see a star in him. Sheamus and Ziggler get us going and it’s a pretty nice chess game with both guys looking for control but not being able to get anything past a few seconds worth. Off to Swagger (two time world champion according to Josh) who takes the ten forearms in the ropes. Ziggler tries to cheat so Ryder goes aerial with a flip dive to the floor as we take a break.

Back to Sheamus who hits the slingshot shoulder block. He nearly botched it as he jumped late so his legs landed on the ropes for the most part. Swagger manages to get in a shot to bring Ziggy back in and momentum shifts again. Back to Jack very quickly but he misses the Vader Bomb. You know, he doesn’t do much very well anymore. Off to Ryder but Swagger doesn’t tag.

Broski Boot hits and everyone heads to the floor. Ryder beats up both guys on his own until the numbers finally catch up with him so that Swagger can hammer away a bit more. The fans cheer for Ryder as Ziggler’s elbow gets two. A double team Fameasser gets two on Ryder and a surprisingly big pop for the save by Sheamus. Dropkick gets two for the US Champion.

This match is getting some solid time. Swagger takes a cheap shot on Sheamus to draw him in with some solid tag team strategy. He puts Ryder on the top rope and slaps him. That wakes up the Jersey Shore dude, allowing him to get in a shot from the middle rope for the double tag. Sheamus vs. Ziggler now with Sheamus in total control. Swagger breaks up the High Cross as Ryder makes a blind tag. Brogue Kick puts Swagger down and the Rough Ryder pins Ziggler again at 12:20 shown of 16:50.

Rating: B. I liked this one a lot as the face team was seemingly thrown together but we got a fun tag match out of it. You don’t need to have much going on there but it works just the same if you can get the crowd into it. Having someone like Vickie and Ryder out there guarantees that, and we got a very fun match out of it. Good stuff.

Bryan complains to AJ about having it taken away earlier from him. Barrett comes up and runs his mouth so Bryan tells him off. He leaves and AJ kisses Bryan on the cheek.

Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater

Hey Slater still has a job. Who knew? Just after the bell, Jinder Mahal pops up on the screen and says something in whatever language that is. He complains about DiBiase hanging out with commoners in the parking lot like he’s been doing lately. Slater jumps DiBiase and we get going. We talk about Tim Tebow for a bit as Slater hammers away. He works on the arm a lot and the announcers ignore them. And never mind as Dream Street ends this at 4:50.

Rating: D. Nothing match here and I don’t know if they’re actually going to go with Mahal vs. DiBiase as it’s not the most interesting feud in the world. That being said it’s still better than nothing I suppose. Neither guy is all that interesting but it wasn’t a horrible match I suppose.

DiBiase takes a knee in prayer after the match.

We get a clip of Rhodes throwing the water in Booker’s face on Monday. Rhodes says he didn’t like hiding behind a mask and now he’s free to do whatever he wants to do.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett

Winner gets Henry in a cage next week for the title and this is one fall to a finish. Barrett and Orton fight in the ring as Bryan and Rhodes go to the floor. Now we get to an interesting showdown with Orton vs. Bryan. And there’s a commercial before there’s any contact made at all. The pairings that started the match are back again, this time with the locations reversed.

The heels double team Bryan until it’s back to the two big stars. Orton escapes the pumphandle slam but Rhodes helps the Brit out and the double teaming continues. Bryan comes back with a missile dropkick but what appears to be a top rope rana attempt is countered into a Doomsday Device by Rhodes and Barrett for two. We take another break and come back to see Orton get two on Rhodes via a suplex.

A big boot puts Orton on the floor and a Boss Man Slam gets two on Bryan. The Beautiful Disaster gets two on him as well. Rhodes is sent to the floor so Bryan hits a big suicide dive to put him down. Orton comes back in and loads up his ending sequence on Barrett. Bryan kicks Orton’s head off for two. Rhodes takes over on Orton for a bit but Randy fights back and pulls off a superplex but Barrett comes in to steal the two count.

Everyone is down in the ring but Orton gets up first. He throws the heels to the floor and hooks the elevated DDT on Bryan. Here comes the RKO but Barrett pulls him to the floor and plants him with a DDT. Cody tries to steal the pin on Bryan but Bryan reverses itno the LeBell Lock for the nearly instant tap at 11:47 shown of 18:47.

Rating: C+. This was long and there were a lot of good spots, but the problem was that it felt like it was all over the place. The commercials were at odd times as well which made things a little awkward. Still though, pretty good match and for a TV main event, I don’t think anyone can say it was bad.

Rhodes beats down Bryan but walks into an RKO.

Overall Rating: B+. Very solid show tonight with a lot of stuff happening here. Most importantly, how nice is it to see something new being entered into the main event for Tuesday? Instead of seeing something like Orton vs. Henry again, we’re getting a breath of fresh air in there and that’s all it needs to be. Good things all around here tonight.

Results
Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to AJ
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder to Ziggler
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater – Dream Street
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton, Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes – LeBell Lock to Rhodes

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Turkey Day here in the Impact Zone and that usually means a pretty fun show from these guys. There’s always the chance of the return of the turkey suit which thankfully isn’t coming out of a huge egg and dancing with a bald interviewer. Expect a bit more build towards Final Resolution but the majority of things should be a bit lighter tonight, which is fine. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of last week with Storm looking for his attacker with Angle being the reveal at the end of the show. There’s still tension between Storm and AJ.

Here’s Angle, who along with Storm will captain teams for an elimination tag later. On Thanksgiving? You don’t say! Kurt says it wasn’t an attack from behind. James just didn’t see him coming. Cue Storm who says this is beyond personal. It’s business now and if Angle says he won’t jump someone from behind, here’s his chance to fight face to face. Angle says this is about Storm stealing the title from Angle so Angle cost him the title in Georgia. Immortal plus Daniels comes out so Storm SHOWS HE HAS A BRAIN by hitting Angle once and running. Anderson, AJ and RVD come out for the big brawl.

Eric Young brings an old referee back on a homemade bicycle. Rudy Charles brings out the turkey suit.

We recap Mexican America losing the tag titles last week to Morgan/Crimson.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

A big brawl to start is won by the champions and it’s down to Anarquia vs. Morgan. The beating begins as the champions pound him down. A double chokeslam ends this in 1:57. Total squash.

Eric Young says Sting has said there’s officially a turkey suit challenge later on. It’s a regular match and the loser has to wear the suit. Rob Terry gives him a pat down and says he’s not on the list. If Robbie doesn’t do it, he’s stripped of the title. The Robs go to find Sting and Young admits Sting didn’t say any of that.

Here are Karen and her associates. She calls out five of the Knockouts (Tara, Tessmacher, Winter, Angelina and Velvet) and gets them very quickly. The fans want a rematch but the fans (according to Karen) want more skin. Tonight it’s the first lingerie ball.

The face Knockouts whine about the match. Yeah…..I’d buy that if the pigeons weren’t always being let loose.

The heel Knockouts are happy when Mickie comes in to yell at Gail in private. They leave the door open and Mickie yells at Gail for going against whatever she said when she wasn’t in there. Mickie gets beaten down.

Angelina Love/Winter/Madison Rayne vs. Tara/Velvet Sky/Brooke Tessmacher

They’re all in lingerie/thongs. The anger over it isn’t working at all but they look good. Scratch the thongs actually. It’s a regular six person tag. Winter shows off and looks good like that. Tessmacher rips her shirt off and is in the exact same thing she wrestles in. For chicks that are ticked off, they don’t seem to mind posing on the ropes. Velvet is in less clothing than usual. They have a pose off until FINALLY the evil ones jump them. There’s a quick commercial as Tara and Winter get us going.

Back with the good chicks in control and Tessmacher gives Winter a Stink Face. Yeah we get it: it’s embarrassing or whatever. Do an actual move please. Tessmacher gets beaten down as Taz is talking about Helen Keller. Madison is far more covered than she usually is. Hot tag finally brings in Velvet and house is cleaned. Madison grabs a belt but Mickie comes out for the save. Velvet’s bad facebuster ends this at 13:18.

Rating: F. Dumb premise, dumb anger, no thongs, dumb match.

Here’s Hardy in a mask but it’s actually Jeff Jarrett. He wants to know why the fans love Hardy. Is it because he looks like a clown? Perhaps the bizarre promos or the stupid chances he takes for the fans. Jarrett wants Hardy’s fans to grow up and embarrass the company they work for. Here’s Hardy at a full sprint to beat down Jarrett. Immortal plus Daniels makes the save. Immortal comes out (plus Daniels and Roode….oh no) and here’s Team Storm for the save. Jarrett sends Hardy into the steps and then does it again. Immortal stands tall.

We get a history of the turkey suit match which is one of those funny things that you can get in wrestling.

Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Robbie jumps him on the floor and beats up the turkey suit also. This is non title. Rudy counts really slowly. He won’t drop the suit for the count and we’re in a total comedy match here. Robbie gets what was presumably loaded punch for the pin at 2:14. The referee sees it and reverses the decision. Oh wait he restarts the match. Robbie shoves the referee and a piledriver ends this clean. Total comedy match and there isn’t a thing wrong with that.

Big Rob has to put on the suit because Robbie is out cold.

Rudy and Eric train for next year on a bike but Rudy crashes.

Team Angle vs. Team Storm

AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy
Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Christopher Daniels, Bobby Roode

There’s been talk all night about Hardy being on the team but he’s not mentioned here. Storm is in street clothes. Oh wait Angle and Storm aren’t wrestling. Ok then. So it’s 4-3? This is an elimination style match so it’s Survivor Series rules. Roode sits in on commentary because he’s not loose yet. AJ vs. Daniels gets us off because we need something new. After nothing of note happens there it’s off to Jarrett vs. Anderson.

Van Dam comes in and this is starting pretty slowly. Rob gets caught in the corner and Ray takes over on him with a splash. Not hot tag to Anderson who takes over with some elbows and a neckbreaker for two. Ray hits a Rock Bottom and Roode heads to the ring. He steals a tag and gets the pin on Anderson to make it 4-3 or 4-2 depending on how you look at it.

Here’s AJ to speed things way up with a backdrop. I think the ankle is ok now. Roode hits him low right in front of the referee for….not a DQ. Ok yeah it was but there was no bell. Ah there’s the announcement. We take a break as Daniels pounds on AJ. Back with Ray coming in to beat down AJ even more. AJ counters Angel’s Wings into a rana and then the Pele puts Daniels down.

Hot tag brings in RVD who cleans house with various kicks. Rolling Thunder puts Daniels down but Angle breaks up the Five Star. He and Storm fight up the ramp but RVD gets rolled up and pinned to make it 3-1. Daniels is bleeding from the mouth. It’s a 3-1 beatdown and Ray tells Daniels to give him the moonsault. It eats knees/feet because Ray shouted GIVE HIM THE MOONSAULT. Ray accidentally takes out Jarrett and a Pele puts Ray down.

Cue Hardy as all four are down. He’s pulling his pants up as he comes out. What was he doing before that??? Hardy slips on the apron as he comes out but there’s the hot tag anyway. He cleans house and the Twist takes out Daniels to tie things up. Twist to Jarrett is countered so Hardy gets a small package to take him out instead. A HUGE boot takes Hardy down for two and Jarrett hammers on Hardy a bit more. AJ makes a blind tag and hits the forearm on Ray to win it at 18:45.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and it makes Hardy look like a star which is the right idea. It’s nothing we haven’t seen a bunch before but it didn’t need to be. Hardy stands tall and we’ll get to some post match stuff here in a few seconds. For a Thanksgiving show main event, this was certainly fine.

Roode lays out both winners with the belt post match.

Overall Rating: C. I’m going with right in the middle here. On a normal week this would have been around an F, but the thing you have to remember here is that it’s Thanksgiving. There’s no reason to assume this show was going to be anything of note and it wasn’t supposed to be. No one is going to watch the show, so why waste anything big on it? You see Raw do this a lot and there’s nothing wrong with that. Not an interesting show, but all things considered this was fine. Well ok it was bad but there are a lot of things to consider on it.

Results
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Mexican America – Double chokeslam to Anarquia
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Velvet Sky b. Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne – BeauDT to Rayne
Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver
Team Storm b. Team Angle last eliminating Bully Ray

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NXT
Date: November 23, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matt Striker, William Regal

It’s the Thanksgiving week show and the show is somehow back up to three finalists. Only this show could go from two finalists to three to two to three again and take a few months to do so. This is the 38th episode of the season, putting this on the verge of being as long as the first three seasons combined. I thought just the third was ridiculous but this passed that long ago. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Young to open the show with I believe new music. We get a clip of Young beating up O’Neil and his finisher is called the Gut Check. It’s the fireman’s carry into a double knee to the ribs. Young says this is his show and wants to know where the people were last week when he beat O’Neil down. Is there a difference between being beaten up and being beaten down? He says his usual stuff about how he’s done a ton of stuff and how O’Neil hasn’t done anything.

Cue Reks and Hawkins of all people who say that the only thing Young accomplished was jumping Titus, which they’ve done a bunch of times. They’re impressed with Young and say they’re very similar. They think he has the It Factor but here are O’Neil and Watson. They make fun of Reks’ lack of charisma and cut Young off. Titus talks about getting eliminated a year ago in this town but he’s back to show his agenda. There’s the brawl but Striker makes O’Neil/Watson vs. Reks/Young.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis

Bateman and Maxine are on commentary for no apparent reason. We talk about the wedding and then realize that’s stupid so we talk about Johnny Curtis. That makes it stupider so let’s talk about the wedding again. Regal offers to explain the misery of being married, since he’s been married 16 times. Regal talks about Bateman’s mother in law and implies sex. He even admits they’re ignoring the match. Can’t fault him for lying.

Curtis goes to the apron for a slingshot legdrop and shakes his hips at Maxine. Regal: “I think that was for me. At my age you have to take what you can get.” Suplex gets two for Curtis. Bateman makes another joke about Curtis and Maxine dating so they walk off. The wedding is in eight weeks, which I guess means we’ll be here until January. Yoshi fires off the chops and a spinwheel kick puts Johnny down. The top rope spinwheel kick ends this at 4:35.

Rating: C. This was fine. Yoshi is a solid hand while Curtis….well he’s Johnny Curtis. That should summarize this match as well as I can put it together. Not much to see here but it advances Bateman vs. Curtis I guess because we need to see it right? Not much to see here but Yoshi’s stuff is always fun to see.

Bateman goes to the ring post match but doesn’t attack Curtis.

Maxine and Bateman argue more in the back about what Curtis did during the date. She cancels sex until future notice. Curtis comes in and implies Maxine wants him.

Here are the Usos who do their dance before their promo. Jimmy talks about being nervous every time they come out here. They represent every Samoan ever in wrestling history. Jey talks about people like Yokozuna, the Wild Samoans, Umaga (didn’t expect to hear that name) and Rikishi. They talk about how Uso means brother but saying Us (pronounced Oos) can mean friend, close person, etc. They start a call and response chant with the audience of we say Us, you say O, which gets a surprisingly strong response. The fans like these guys.

This brings out JTG and Tamina, who says this isn’t about heritage because she’s an independent woman. Let’s have a match.

JTG vs. Jimmy Uso

Jimmy knocks him to the floor quickly so he can glare at Tamina a bit. Off to a chinlock by JTG as we list off the huge Samoan family tree. Stinger style splash in the corner hits JTG and there’s the running him smash in the corner, which is credited to Rikishi but it’s an Umaga move I believe. A superkick and frog splash are enough for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: C-. Why are the Usos on NXT? The fans like them, they’re decent in the ring, they have a gimmick, and they’re on NXT. I have no idea what the thought of this company is about them, but they’re more than good enough to be something on one of the main shows, but they’re not getting that at all here. It’s WWE I guess.

Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young/Tyler Reks

Young vs. Watson gets us going. My goodness what a difference a gimmick change makes for Watson. O’Neil comes in and Young runs. He’s now the Big Deal Titus O’Neil. Reks talks trash so Titus hammers him in the face. This goes on for awhile until Watson comes in and cleans house. The heels go to the floor so Percy dives onto them as we take a break. Back with Titus getting two on Reks off a move we don’t see.

Back to Watson who doesn’t do as well. We talk about Bateman getting a Smackdown contract and we hear about how this season is about getting to one of the main shows. So at least there’s no talk of season 6. Regal talks about WWE 12. “I HAVE ABS!!!” Young hooks a chinlock on Watson to eat up some time. Gordbuster gets two for Reks. There’s your double tag to Young and O’Neil but Hawkins throws in the cane, so that the Gut Check can end Titus at 11:00.

Rating: D+. Boring main event here with neither team being interesting in being out there it seems. We have a heel team now I guess which is fine, but I’ll spare you the drill here on “but where is this going”. We’ve been past that for a very long time and there’s no point in saying it all the time. Too long of a main event though.

Overall Rating: D+. Pretty ho-hum stuff tonight with not much going on of note. This was more of a show about advancing the existing storylines rather than adding anything new to the mix. In other words, if you liked the rest of the storylines, you’ll like this. Nothing to see here for the most part though and it wasn’t much of a show.

Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Johnny Curtis – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Jimmy Uso b. JTG – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Tyler Reks b. Percy Watson/Tyler Reks – Gut Check to O’Neil

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Best of the WWF Volume 16
Host: Gene Okerlund, Outback Jack, Frenchy Martin
Commentator: Gorilla Monsoon

This one has a theme tying it together: we’re going Around The World. I don’t see this ending well. The tape would be from the late 80s, I’d be 87-88 from the looks of things. Well, I certainly like that era so I could think of worst things that we could be looking at. Let’s get to it.

The hosts say nothing of note at all.

Giant Machine vs. Tatsumi Fujinami

This is from Japan (duh) and Tatsumi is the face (duh part 2). We have Japanese commentary here so I have no idea what’s going on. The information I can find says this is from 1985. Oh and Giant Mask is Andre the Giant of course. Tatsumi goes for the leg to start so Andre punches him in the face and suplexes him. Fujinami was the father of a lot of what we would call Cruiserweight stuff so this is a lopsided pairing.

Andre grabs an armpit claw so Fujinami goes for the mask, getting locked in an armbar for his efforts. Tatsumi manages to get him down and tries a Boston Crab but Andre shrugs it off with relative ease. A big boot misses and Tatsumi gets an enziguri to take Andre down to one knee. He pounds away but Andre is like boy please. Tatsumi hits a sunset flip but the referee is distracted by Andre’s manager, so Fujinami slams the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. There’s only so much Fujinami can do here due to the size but Andre sold like I’ve rarely seen him do which was a nice thing to see. This was a style and size clash which really became a problem. Not a horrible match, but this was only going to be able to be so good all things considered. Fujinami is usually awesome.

The hosts talk about Gene going to Japan. Sure why not. He annoys some people and makes Mr. Fuji jokes. Gene goes to a record store and finds the Wrestling Album. He goes into a huge tower and looks at various things, but mainly spies on women at a swimming pool.

Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Bull Nakano/Condor Saito

Nakano is a little famous but isn’t as crazy looking here. I don’t know the Angels’ names so we’ll go with white and black since those are the colors of their outfits. No idea if there’s a story here or not. Big brawl to start and it’s white vs. Saito to get us going. I don’t know if she’s related to Mr. Saito or not. Nakano has some trouble so it’s back to Saito again. She hooks a leglock on black angel as these girls are LOUD.

Condor works over black angel for a good while and this is hard hitting stuff. These aren’t the Divas out there with cute outfits and three pounds of makeup either. They’re fighting hard and having good matches, which you never see anymore. Condor beats the tar out of white and it’s back to Nakano. I don’t think there’s been three straight seconds with no screaming in this.

White does the bridge out of the pin attempt that she used at Survivor Series 87 and messed up the timekeeper with. The Angels double team a lot to take over as this is pure power vs. speed. White vs. Condor now and White hooks a Figure Four. Now Condor bridges out of a pin. Is that just a Japanese thing? The heels (?) double team Black now with Nakano having a nunchuck or something like one. Black takes over with a cross body and everything breaks down again. They spill outside and it’s a double countout.

Rating: C+. Fun match here as joshi is something that is always fired up and intense beyond belief which is was here. The heels would be less famous than their opponents and I’ve never heard of Condor before but she’s pretty and this was a solid performance from here. Knowing what was going on would have helped a lot here.

Gene insults his third culture by having a head scarf on now.

Mr. Fuji vs. ???

This is in Kuwait and we’re not getting any English commentary on this whole tape are we? This is joined in progress with Fuji in control. Allegedly the guy is from the Kuwaiti royal family. He’s blonde and looks like a cross between Flair and Tommy Rich. I think this is outside. We’re told that this is about 5 minutes in. Ok then. Out to the floor quickly and I have no idea who thought this tape was a good idea. This is a squash and the Cobra Clutch ends it. I have no idea why this is on here.

Barry O/Mike Sharpe vs. Killer Bees

Now let’s get to something STUPID. We’re in Puerto Rico for this and it’s outside. The catch: it’s POURING rain. I mean there are puddles in the ring. The ring looks like something you would see at an elementary school based indy company. Thankfully Gorilla is on commentary here (he was the owner/promoter of a Puerto Rican company and sold interest to Vince in exchange for lifetime employment. There’s your trivia for the review) so I know what’s going on.

Sharpe vs. Blair with Sharpe accidentally hitting Barry O (as in Orton, Randy’s uncle) for some heel miscommunication. Off to Brunzell (I think, it’s that hard to see) and this is ridiculous. They can’t take a single step without water going everywhere. This is clearly a safe working environment right? Barry gets beaten down for awhile until the heels cheat or maybe Brunzell slipped. The referee falls down as everyone is slipping. Brunzell rolls up Sharpe out of mercy to end this.

Rating: N/A. It wouldn’t be fair to rate this match as they couldn’t perform like they’re supposed to due to the water. The match was nothing to see but the weather was, which isn’t something you often can say.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

From Italy, likely around 88. The commentary is in Italian but at least I know who everyone is. They walk around a lot before much contact is made. Mania 4 is mentioned so I’d bet this is post that show, which was on 3/27/88. Very basic power match here with Warrior in control for the most part. Warrior drops him with the press slam but misses a splash to put both guys down. Full nelson goes on but Warrior easily breaks it. Herc is no Masterpiece I guess. They fight to the floor for a weak double countout. This was nothing.

Jim Duggan vs. Andre the Giant

I think this is from the same show as the Warrior match. Stalling to start as Duggan won’t put the board down. Remember that this is in Italian so it’s hard to tell what’s going on. The referees like talking about the referee’s name (Tim White) for some reason. We finally get going and Duggan charges right into a punch and let the fat man offense begin. Andre sends him to the floor and does the Duggan thumb up. Ok point for a funny idea.

Andre hammers him with the basic offense that he was known for….well that he was always known for. He sits on Duggan in the corner and we hear about Hulk a bit. Duggan fires away and Andre has a headache. Off to a choke and this is going nowhere fast. Andre chokes with his strap as he is known to do and they talk about White again. What is up with that?

I think I’m learning Italian from this. Referee is publico and Duggan is translated to Hacksaw Jim. Duggan fights back and gets Andre tied up in the ropes as is his custom where he pounds away. Andre’s strap is down which is a weird look for him. He escapes and pounds away as we get a Hogan chant. Andre covers his ears, allowing Duggan to get in a shot. Andre misses a kneeling headbutt but a boot/splash ends this.

Rating: D-. Andre was in horrible shape here but the Hogan chant and Andre covering his ears made me chuckle a bit. This feud went on forever and never went anywhere, other than Duggan knocking him out with the board to the head once. The match was bad, but it was due to Andre’s horrible condition (not his fault).

Duggan fights back with the board post match.

Gene is now in Australian Outback gear. We go to the Outback where Gene is with a koala bear. He talks to some Australian guy and asks about the WWF and fish. And here’s Ricky Steamboat. Well he’s more entertaining than anything else so far. He has a koala as well and now let’s go look at some kangaroos. Steamboat’s shorts leave very little to the imagination. SD Jones and Paul Roma are in the background for some reason. Steamboat names the kangaroo Henry. Jones and Roma come in and praise the fans a bit and Australia is awesome!

Jack and Frenchy argue for no apparent reason.

Now it’s time to hear about where Outback Jack is from. He’s from Humpty-Doo. I kid you not. We see what I believe were all the skits and promos about him coming. First up we see him looking at a crocodile and he says if you can take it here, you can take it anywhere. Now he’s in a jeep and goes to a bar for a beer. Now he beats someone armwrestling with a bunch of empty beer cans next to him. Now a cow is drinking beer. Now Aborigines are painting his face around a fire. Now he’s wrestling some big animal. Now he’s walking in the woods. Now we’re done. WHAT WAS THAT???

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

This is in Paris from 87 and Race is the King. Andre the Giant is referee and is a member of the Heenan Family with Race so guess what happens here. Dog takes over to start and Race sells like crazy for him. Andre cheats as a referee as French commentary gets on my nerves. Race takes over because he’s awesome and this is really needing to end soon. Chinlock time which doesn’t last long at least. Dog suplexes him for a cover but Andre won’t count.

Race clotheslines him down and it’s back to the chinlock. Uh Dog, you can move you know. Out to the floor for nothing of note. GET TO THE ENDING PEOPLE! Dog Barks Up and pounds away but Andre gets in his face. Powerslam gets no count because Andre is evil you see. A belly to belly and a headbutt set up another headbutt but Race hurts his head this time. The on all fours headbutts put Race down again but Race hits him in the throat. Race wins for some reason off that.

Rating: F. This. Got. Ten. Minutes. I can’t imagine what could be left on here, but I’m almost done.

The hosts argue even more.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. New Dream Team

In France still and the New Dream Team is Bravo/Valentine. We have 11 minutes in the tape to go. I can get through this. I know I can. Joined in progress for no apparent reason. Ray is in trouble and the fans cheer for the French boys. Valentine gets caught with a knee to the balls so Bravo comes in again. Time for a bearhug to keep the high level of this tape going. A piledriver is countered but Jacques can’t get a tag in.

Valentine mocks wanting to box Jacques for no apparent reason. The beating goes on like six minutes and Bravo hits his side suplex finisher on Ray but it’s not a finisher yet I don’t guess as Ray pops up and takes Bravo down. There’s the hot tag and everything breaks down. Sleeper to Valentine but Bravo breaks it up. A figure four is attempted but Ray sunset flips Valentine for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s a bit better, but good night would it have killed them to give us ANY bigger named team? Horribly dull match and I don’t even want to think about how much longer this could have been. Weak match but given how weak the teams were in there (bad time for the Rougeaus at this point) and a perfect ending to an AWFUL tape.

Overall Rating: Who. As in WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA????? I mean MAN this was horrible. Out of like 8 matches, one has English commentary. The biggest star on the tape is I guess Duggan, and if this was from 88 he’s probably the third or fourth biggest face in the company. No Hogan, no Savage, no DiBiase, no one interesting in other words. I have no idea what the thinking here was, but this somehow has taken the spot of worst Coliseum Video ever, and if you’re familiar with that series, you get what that means. Get me ANYTHING else to watch please.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
Guest Host: Jonah Hill

We’re past Survivor Series and it’s officially the road to Mania. The next PPV is TLC and I think that’s 4 weeks away. Rock/Cena won, which means absolutely nothing but Rock did look awesome in the ring so I guess there’s that. Also we have the title on Punk which should at least be more entertaining. There’s a guest host here tonight I think. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up. It sounds like they’re saying Woo Woo Woo during the transtional parts.

Punk opens the arena part of the show and he gets a nice pop. Good to see that he can get those when he’s not with Cena. He talks about being in first grade and having his teacher asking him what they wanted to do. Various people said stuff like a police officer, fireman, etc. He of course wanted to be a professional wrestler, and here he is: the guy that won the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden last night.

He did this on his own terms and this is all he ever wanted to do. Now he wants to be the bringer of change. Punk sits down in the ring and talks about the ice cream bars. Now he wants to get rid of Johnny Ace, which draws out the skateboard man himself. Ace says nothing of note so let’s get back to Punk talking. Punk talks about how greedy Vince is while Ace is the stereotypical middle man, like the guy from Office Space.

Punk criticizes the term WWE Universe. They’re FANS. PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!!!! Next week it’s Del Rio vs. Punk for the title. Punk makes fun of him for that so it’s Ziggler vs. Punk tonight. Punk: “That’s not a good idea or innovative. That’s stupid.” The fans want to see Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. Ryder is busy tonight vs. Del Rio. Punk starts walking up the ramp towards Ace and some day he’s coming for Ace himself.

Last night after the PPV went off the air, the fans chanted for Ryder while Rock was in the ring. Think about that: the Rock is in the ring in MADISON SQUARE GARDEN and the fans want Zack Ryder. Rock said he was a fan. Sweet goodness man. PUSH THE GUY ALREADY!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder breaks up the intro by Ricardo. I don’t get the point of the booking here. Think about it: Del Rio is #1 contender and Ryder is over like free beer. Why do we need to have this match? One has to lose and Ryder needs to get a win here but Del Rio is already on a losing streak. Why not someone like Morrison here? Instead they’ve come up with the booking already and screw the fans and what they want. And they wonder why their numbers are falling through the floor. Ryder starts his comeback but is sent into the buckle and the armbreaks officially squashes him at 2:26. I hate this company at times. I do.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Jack tries amateur stuff but Sheamus easily powers him to the floor where Swagger is frustrated. From what I’ve been told, the Twitter thing flashed static and the words “It Begins” was in there instead. Interesting. Swagger takes over with the Vader Bomb and we go to the back for a double armbar. Sheamus starts his comeback but the shoulder off the top misses. Brogue Kick is countered into the ankle lock which is kicked off and the kick ends this at 4:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match but it was a nice win for old pasty. Swagger is the walking definition of jobber to the stars at this point and that’s a good role for him since they’re not going to give the guy a new gimmick and the All American thing is done as done can be, so having guys beat him like this is fine.

Nash is up next.

Nash comes out and talks about MSG and how important it is here. He talks about the Curtain Call (look it up) and how HHH should have come back and it should have been them in the main event. But instead the Cerebral Assassin is gone at the hands of Nash. He says he’s the survivor of the group.

Here’s Cody, who says he’s unbeatable and he’s unrepentent. This brings out….oh give me a break it brings out Santino.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

The Canaditalian avoids the Russian from the American but there’s the Cross Rhodes for the pin at 1:03.

Post match Cody goes after Booker, yelling about various stuff. I’ve heard this was the feud for the next few weeks so here we are. Booker gets water thrown thrown in his face and Cody walks out.

Ziggy is in the back and says he won two matches (he was eliminated but he was still on the winning team) and was the only one that did so. He’s the new face of WWE and will prove it to Punk next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk

They head to the mat to start and there isn’t much to say so far. Ziggler beats him down for a good while and this is getting a solid amount of time given how slow they’re going. Punk tries a sleeper but Dolph takes over again. Booker calls him the Zig Zag man to get on my nerves. Ziggler keeps the advantage as we go to a break.

Back with Ziggy still in control but Punk fights back. Into the GTS attempt but it’s countered into the sleeper. Again it’s the Zig Zag Man line from Booker to get on my nerves again. That doesn’t work since Punk is a face and here’s comeback #2. He sets for the Macho elbow but Ziggy grows a brain and MOVES OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE PUNK JUMPS. Why is that so complex?

Dolph kicks his freaking head off with a slick dropkick and they go up. Punk knocks him down and there’s the elbow. It only gets two because it’s a middle of the match move. There needs to be more pins off non-finishers. GTS is countered into another throwing kind of move for a close two. Zig Zag is countered into the GTS for the pin at 16:30.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but I didn’t get into it like I did with Cena and Ziggler or Orton and Ziggler. Punk gets a good win here but he’s right: this wasn’t interesting or innovative, but it’s all we’re getting tonight because this could be interesting and not involve Rock, and since we want Punk to not have much to work with, we’re stuck with this. Decent match though.

Here’s Show to talk about Henry. Henry is coming back, Show still wants to fight him, same old same Show.

The Divas do the same stuff but it’s about WWE 12 this time. Next.

Kane return promo. The mask is included for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Barrett says the next thing in his sights is the world title. Barrett beats him down for awhile but as he loads up Wasteland, here’s Orton for the distraction. Wade freaks and drops Kofi. He manages to bail before the Trouble in Paradise as we go to a break. Back with Kofi in a chinlock as Randy is sitting at ringside. I like how they’re actually setting up Orton as a natural progression of a story instead of just rushing it.

Boss Man Slam (BIG one too) puts Kofi down down for two. Barrett pounds him down and hooks his bow and arrow hold. This is a pretty uninteresting match. Oh and I forgot to mention: Lawler has a bad voice due to last night so he can barely talk. Out to the floor and Kofi hits a huge dive to take over. Boom Drop hits but a corner splash misses. Kofi loads up the springboard cross body but Wade kicks the rope and Wasteland ends this clean at 11:34.

Rating: C+. Better match than I expected here and it’s awesome to see Barrett getting such a strong push. Also having Orton set up as Barrett’s next feud is a good thing and hopefully we see Barrett get the pin at the PPV, which is a feud win that he needs. Good stuff here but Kofi having a chance would have helped. Not their fault though.

Barrett announces himself as the winner to rub it in on Orton, who teases an attack but declines.

Here’s Cena for the ending segment. The people boo as you would expect. He talks about how a lot has changed in the last 24 hours (Ryder Twitter plug), including us having proof that he and Rock can team up. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles after they get a mention here. Also last night Rock proved that he’s still got it, which means Mania will be exactly what it should be.

This brings out Awesome Truth with Miz talking about how the fans didn’t want to see Cena last night. Truth says Cena is in his own world and Mania will be awful for him. Cena cuts them off and says we learned that Rock still has it and that no one cares about Awesome Truth at all. Cena tries to put some tension between Awesome Truth and neither of them are too happy with it.

Cena leaves and says they should be booing themselves. They get in each others’ faces and argue, resulting in a shove by Miz and a punch by Truth. Miz begs off and says let’s go get Cena, then jumps Truth as they head up the ramp. A Finale on the ramp (head didn’t hit) ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show for the most part. The wrestling wasn’t bad but other than the main stuff, the rest was just there. It felt far more like a commercial for WWE 12 but that’s just a one night thing I believe since it comes out tomorrow. It wasn’t a bad show, but I have no idea what’s coming next and I don’t really see myself caring, which is a bad thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland

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Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Here we are with Rock’s first match in seven years. He’s teaming with Cena to face Awesome Truth, who have looked like the most thrown on heels that I can think of in a very long time. We also have Punk vs. Del Rio and Show vs. Henry for the world titles. The elimination match (Team Orton vs. Team Barrett) has been built up very well indeed and I’m looking forward to it more than any other match. Let’s get to it.

Johnny Ace opens the show. No real point to this but he’s here anyway.

United States Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans want Ryder. I mean they REALLY want Ryder. Ziggler takes over to start but a charge in the corner misses to give Johnny NoChance the advantage. They do the always cool slingshot spot, channeling their inner Hennigs. Out to the floor where Morrison hits a huge dive. The fans still want Ryder. Why in the world they’re going with Morrison here I have no idea but they’re doing it and that’s their decision and when Ryder’s pop doesn’t mean as much, it’ll be his fault right?

Vickie time gives Ziggler control back and he cheats like a hashtag heel. Morrison tries to fight back but walks into a reverse suplex for two. Sleeper hold is countered but an O’Connor Roll gets two for Dolph. Flying Chuck gets two. Why is it called that anyway? Sleeper by Dolph is countered into a sleeper by Morrison which draws a LOUD boo from the crowd. Vickie breaks up a cover off a tornado DDT, drawing an ejection for her.

Fameasser gets two for the champ but Morrison starts his comeback. Ah John. If only you actually had a chance of winning this match at all. I mean, it’s pretty clear you’re going but they want to squeeze every drop out of you that they can, even though Ryder is clearly the people’s choice. Starship Pain eats knees and Zig Zag keeps Dolph’s title at 10:40.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener, but the constant Ryder chants (not the fans’ fault) took away from it. That and the fact that Morrison was as much of a lame duck as you could ask for. Nothing too bad here and it was fine for an opener, but there wasn’t enough here to make it a great match. Now get the belt on Ryder already.

Vickie comes out and says that Dolph is awesome. Dolph says he is awesome and no one would want to follow that. The fans want Ryder but Dolph says he isn’t here. Cue Ryder who hits a Rough Ryder to blow the roof off the place.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

This is a lumberjill match for no reason whatsoever. Eve jumps into a slam to start but takes over quickly, sending Beth to the floor. Back in a neckbreaker and the standing moonsault get two. We get into the normal set of circumstances with Beth locking in a hold as Eve is in trouble. Eve starts her comeback as this couldn’t be more of a beer break match if they put a freaking stamp on it.

Eve hooks this wicked looking choke which shifts into a triangle choke but it doesn’t work as it’s a new submission hold that looked good so it can’t be the winner early. They exchange rollups for two each and this is still going nowhere. Eve takes her down and sets for the moonsault but Beth goes up top and they fight on the top rope. Beth counters into the Glam Slam off the top for the pin at 4:42.

Rating: C. Better than average Divas match here with a pretty solid ending. That being said, I have zero reason to care about this story at all as it just keeps going with nothing really developing at all in it. The heels are still evil and proclaim dominance but they run from any staredown, which defeats the purpose of being dominant. In short, I don’t care at all.

Punk is warming up when Otunga comes up and says that Punk should apologize to Cole before he competes tonight, on the orders of Johnny Ace. Punk says he’ll think about it after he wins the title.

Rock has a mic and talks about being here when he was 5 years old and hanging out with Andre the Giant (which he repeats) while he watches his dad defend his WWCensored tag titles. He debuted here in November of 96 with the worst haircut ever and a stupid outfit but they chanted his name. That was the beginning of an odyssey and he went through the company, winning everything in sight. He talks about Awesome Truth a bit and this is going WAY too long at about five minutes now. Now Rock starts a song number, asking the fans to sing New York with him. WAY too long here but the fans were into it.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, Mason Ryan, Sheamus

This is the match that I’ve wanted to see more than any other. Ziggler vs. Kofi starts us off after an eternity of entrances. Cara is in white and Rhodes has knee pads. Off to Orton and the RKO ends Ziggler in about 4 seconds. Team Barrett huddles up but Orton jumps them and picks Barrett to beat up. Everything breaks down and Team Orton stands tall. Kofi and Cara try stereo dives but Cara hooks his leg on the ropes and is holding his knee. Great. The fans, again, want Ryder. Cara is eliminated and we’re down to 4-4. I’m not so sure how planned that was, but it looked like he grabbed the rope so maybe it was planned.

Rhodes vs. Orton now and make that Ryan vs. Hunico. I don’t expect these two to be in there that long. Hey I’m right as it’s off to Kofi very quickly. Kofi runs into a slingshot move and goes crotch first into the buckle for two. Wade in now and it’s time for a chinlock. Back to Ryan vs. Hunico and Wales beats up Mexico a bit. Hunico makes a blind tag to Cody who hits the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the pin and a pop plus a chant.

Off to Sheamus vs. Rhodes and Sheamus powers him into the ropes for the pounding forearms which gets counted along with. Get the fans involved in a match, even with something like that, and they’ll love you forever. The referee breaks things up and Cody is able to bring in Barrett who takes over. Off to Hunico and we hear that Sin Cara is trending worldwide. This has been talked about all night by the way but I didn’t feel like bringing it up as it makes my head hurt.

Hot tag brings in Kofi who beats up the Brit because that’s what people do. Boom Drop hits as Cole says he’s emulating Shawn Michaels. Booker: “I never saw Shawn do a Boom Drop.” Barret avoids the kick but walks into a Pendulum Kick, as does Swagger. Wade drops him dead with a big boot though and Wasteland makes it 4-2. Orton comes in but is sent to the floor quickly. Hunico hits a suicide dive and takes over. Could he be more RKO fodder if he tried?

Off to Swags who hasn’t done much in this so far. Rhodes comes in to work on the arm and gets a near fall. Orton manages to throw Rhodes off and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and one to Swagger as well. The paler one goes up and hits the top rope shoulder. Hunico is sent outside and there’s an Irish Curse for Jack. Barrett breaks the Cross up but is knocked to the floor. Sheamus goes after Swagger and it’s a LAME DQ to make it 4-1. Did I mention they made it a big deal that Orton is a 4 time sole survivor?

Sheamus kicks Swagger in the head before leaving and Orton gets the easy pin to make it 3-1. It’s Hunico, Cody and Barrett left if you’ve lost count. Rhodes comes in to pound him down but Orton fires back with the clotheslines and powerslam. Elevated DDT hits and he loads up the RKO. Barrett distracts as Hunico makes a blind tag. Springboard, RKO, 2-1. Barrett comes in and gets taken down but there’s an RKO to Rhodes. Randy gets too distracted though and Wasteland ends this at 22:18 with Barrett and Rhodes being the sole survivors. Cara has a ruptured patella tendon.

Rating: B-. This was fun but the botch brought things to a complete halt which hurt it a lot. The right guys survived too as they’ve been very hot on Smackdown lately. Randy laying down clean is the right thing to do and he did that here. I have no issues with him pinning Swagger and Hunico, but it’s good that they kept the top heels strong. Fun match, but it wasn’t as good as it was hyped up.

The Bellas hit on Del Rio when Ace comes in. There’s a LOUD Cody chant for this as Ace talks about Del Rio needing to take this seriously. Del Rio says this is the first defense of many in MSG for him.

Don’t be a bully.

We get a long video on Show vs. Henry and the ring breaking last month.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

The ring has been reinforced. Show shoves him around to start as I think the fans want Bryan. Show busts out a waistlock and armdrag of all things. Henry goes after the knee which is smart strategy since he can take it down with his power game. If Cara is out like he thinks he’ll be, it’s six months recovery. He lays on the knee of Show to waste some time. If they keep this a simple power vs. power match, it should be ok. The fans think this is boring and I can’t say I disagree.

The fans chant for Bryan now and Cole says he’s not here tonight due to the attack Friday. Show fights back with a DDT and calls for the chokeslam but Henry picks him up with the Slam for two. Splash gets two as well. An elbow drop gets two. Fire Henry chant starts up as does an Undertaker chant. Out to the floor and Henry rams him through the barricade and please don’t let it be a lame double countout.

Thankfully they’re both back in and Henry is ticked off. Henry headbutts him on the apron and they load up the superplex. Show breaks it up and hits a superkick of all things to put Henry down. That draws the required HBK chant. And with that, Show goes up to the top rope. He looks SCARED. After about a minute, LUCHA SHOW HITS AN ELBOW OFF THE TOP!!! It only gets two and even the MSG fans are into this now. That draws a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the punch but Henry ducks and kicks him low for the ULTRA LAME DQ at 13:22.

Rating: B-. Man, this was some insane stuff. The elbow was NUTS and the crowd chanting was better than anything you’ll ever hear in TNA. The ending CRIPPLED this though as it was a fun battle of the big men until then, but that ending just sucked. Let it end by a double countout after the elbow or something, but not like that. It was horrible looking all around.

Post match Henry loads up the Pillmanization but Show moves at the last minute. Now Show sets to Pillmanize Henry’s ankle and drops a leg on it for the injury. Uh, Bryan anyone? No? Well of course not. That would pop the crowd huge and we don’t want that. Legit we don’t want that. It’s the Rock’s show.

Barrett says nothing of note when Awesome Truth interupts him. Barrett makes a Charlie Sheen reference. Oh good grief. Truth and Miz talk about Rock/Cena and Truth talks about seeing pigeons looking at a picture of Rock/Cena. “You know what they said to me? Nothing! They’re pigeons! They can’t talk!” Awesome.

The New York National Guard is here and get recognized. Think that draws a USA chant?

We recap Alberto vs. Punk, which King thinks started at Survivor Series. Del Rio cashed in then won it again at HIAC, so this is Punk’s rematch.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Punk has his own ring announcer: The Fink. Punk goes old school ROH with the hoodie. The fans want ice cream. CM grabs a headlock to call some spots and gets two off a shoulder black. Both guys work on the arm with Punk in control at the moment. Del Rio heads to the floor as we hear even more about Twitter. Del Rio heads to the floor twice so Punk hits a suicide dive to take care of him.

Del Rio takes over and Ricardo gets in a shot as well. Punk chases after him but runs into an Alberto kick. Del Rio works the arm which is psychology baby! GTS is countered so Del Rio hits a single arm DDT for two. More arm work and Alberto goes up for another shot to the arm, getting two. He misses a charge and lands on the floor with a thud. Punk takes him down again (while shaking the arm) and they slug it out.

Punk takes over with a springboard clothesline for two. He calls for the GTS and Ricardo has a towel for some reason. The GTS is countered and Del Rio gets a Backstabber for two. The knee in the corner misses and the Del Rio enziguri gets two. A Codebreaker to the arm gets two. They go up and Punk gets crotched so that Del Rio can kick the arm again. He misses a charge though and Del Rio’s arm hits the post. The Macho Elbow hits for two.

GTS and armbreaker are countered but the second armbreaker works to put Punk in real trouble. Punk finally gets his feet on the ropes for the break and sets for the GTS, but he only has one arm. Ricardo interferes but gets kicked down. A big kick sets up the Vice and Punk is champion at 17:03.

Rating: C+. The psychology was pretty solid but Del Rio is such a boring character that I didn’t care in the slightest. Punk winning is a good thing as he was the hottest thing going on Raw for a very long time. Not a classic or anything but it puts the title on the right guy, which is what we needed badly on Raw for the past few weeks.

Fink does the NEW WWE Champion thing post match which brings a legit smile to my face.

We recap Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth which starts as a big love letter to Rock. The main event was set for Mania a year ago (essay coming soon) but Awesome Truth wasn’t happy. This is far more about Rock and Cena, as it should be.

John Cena/The Rock vs. Awesome Truth

Gee, who do you think is going to get the most boos? Rock looks great, more muscular that I ever remember seeing him. He starts with Miz as the bell ringer messes up a bit. Cena gives his shirt and a kiss on the cheek to Arnold Skaaland’s widow. Rock cleans house with arm drags and La Majistral for two on Miz. Truth wants him so Rock goes Owen with the wristlock counter.

Rock cleans house again and busts out a fisherman’s suplex to Truth but Cena is fighting Miz so there’s no count. Miz comes in and wants Cena. The fans think Cena can’t wrestle, so they stand around forever. Cena fires off a monkey flip and a dropkick but fans: “You still suck! You still suck! You still suck!” Cena loads up You Can’t See Me but goes to look at Rock instead. Rock sees Truth coming to jump Cena and does nothing at all.

So it’s Cena as Ricky Morton here as he gets beaten down, going into the post. Both heels take turns on him and we head to the floor. Fan: “Tell those pigeons who’s boss Truth!” Miz hits the low DDT for two. There’s the corner clothesline and the fans are either saying he’s awesome or awful. Truth pops Cena and Miz gets two off of it. Booker talks about Rock being selfish and we hear about the summer of 2001 when Rock beat Booker time after time.

Awesome Truth beats down Cena even more as Truth hits a dancing legdrop for two. Hulk Hogan he’s not. He goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into an FU attempt. Truth rolls through that and gets two. Cena gets in the shot that he needs and hits an AA out of nowhere on Truth. Miz comes in and takes Rock out though so the heels keep the advantage.

Another dancing legdrop misses and it’s hot tag Rock. He cleans house, hitting the Rock Bottom on Truth and the Sharpshooter is put on Miz. Truth comes in with the Little Jimmy to break it up so Cena spears him down. Great, another guy with the spear. Miz takes over but of course runs his mouth and gets caught by the spinebuster and People’s Elbow for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B Fine main event tag match here and Rock looked great. That’s the biggest thing here as there was no doubt who was winning here. Now at Mania….I’m not so sure, but that’s another review for another time. Good stuff here and it was exactly what was advertised, which is the right idea here. Not that it means anything, but Rock has been in the ring which is the right thing.

Cena goes to leave but Rock calls him back.  They have a pose off and Rock of course is cheered longer and louder.  Cena goes to leave but Rock grabs him in a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s hard to say this show wasn’t good, but it could have been a lot more. They were intentionally keeping the crowd at a lower key until the very end to pop big for Rock, which is ok, but it makes the rest of the show pretty uninteresting. Some bad finishes really hurt things, but Punk winning the title is great and Rock looked awesome so it’s hard to complain. Good show, but it could have been more.

Results
Dolph Ziggler b. John Morrison – Zig Zag
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam from the top rope
Team Barrett b. Team Orton last eliminating Randy Orton
Big Show b. Mark Henry via DQ when Henry kicked Big Show low
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – Anaconda Vice
The Rock/John Cena b. Awesome Truth – People’s Elbow to Miz

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 21, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We have arrived. This is the show with probably the most famous and best TV tag match in company history if not wrestling history. It’s Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho in a tag title match. The rest of the show doesn’t matter but last night was Judgment Day and HHH lost the IC Title while Austin is still world champion. Let’s get to it.

Austin is here immediately to open the show. He says he’s still the champion no matter how much the people hate him. Austin represents all of them and even though he’s a fighting champion, Undertaker doesn’t get a rematch. There’s no one in the WWF that can beat him, and here’s Jericho. He asks if Austin would shut up and asks him why he sold his soul to Vince. He sold his soul and is as big a sl** as Stephanie. The challenge for later on is made (Benoit/Jericho won a match last night to determine the #1 contenders) and it’s a big brawl with the partners coming in as well.

After a break the Two Man Power Trip (which has three people in it) rant a lot with HHH being the main hot head.

Angle gets here with his medals again. He shows them off to various people because there’s a ceremony later. Oh it’s this show. Nice.

Hardcore Title: Big Show vs. Rhyno

This is a more even match than it sounds. Rhyno gets weapons out but gets beaten down quickly. The size difference here is massive. Show suplexes him on the ramp but misses a charge into the post. Here are the weapon shots as Rhyno works over the arm. Getting rid of the chokeslam makes sense. Rhyno sets for the Gore but it hits a chair. Show hits something like a Van Daminator (minus the jump) and a chokeslam onto said can gives Show the title.

Rating: C-. This could only be so good. The match lasted about 4 minutes so it’s not like this was supposed to be a classic or anything. Show shrugged off the arm work which was kind of stupid and made Rhyno look weak, but the reign wound up being pointless as Jericho would win it the next week but lose it back to Rhyno the same night. Go figure.

Angle shows the medals to someone else.

Terri comes in to hit on the APA and pours beer on her top to mess with them. They’re facing the Radicalz next. The Radicalz jump the alcoholics.

Austin can’t find Debra.

Spike and Molly talk about their families fighting. Are they Romeo and Juliet? He gives her some Dudley Glasses as a good luck gift.

Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. APA

Farrooq beats on Dean to start us off. The beating they took doesn’t seem to really be hurting them that much so far. The double neckbreaker gets two on Malenko as this has been one sided so far. Suplex gets two for the future JBL. The heels have to cheat and a superkick puts Bradshaw down for two. Off to Farrooq who can’t get the Dominator on Saturn so Perry hooks a suplex.

Farrooq takes a quick beating but snaps off a powerslam to set up the double tag. Bradshaw cleans house so Terri flashes him….to no effect at all. Saturn takes a big beating with a ton of power moves, getting pinned by a pair of double powerbombs. This would be the start of the Saturn is loopy angle.

Rating: D+. This was pretty stupid. The pre-match beatdown didn’t mean anything and neither did the flashing. Saturn was getting too popular or something so they decided to give him the upcoming gimmick where he was nuts and wanted to date a mop. I can’t stand the idiocy of this company at times.

Regal is talking to someone when Austin comes up looking for Debra. Regal says she might have been attacked by Taker.

The soon to be face Edge and Christian decline to be in on Kurt’s gold medal ceremony.

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. X-Pac

Fast paced feeling out process to start with no one being able to take over so far. The fans all chant for Lita as this is still fast paced. Justin Credible distracts Matt so Pac can take over and let the cheating begin. JR and Paul argue over who “they” are (as in they call Justin the one man crime spree) as Pac/Credible crotch Matt on the post. Bronco Buster is still annoying. They slug it out and Matt blocks the X-Factor into a slingshot.

Pac grabs a backslide for two with the feet on the ropes. Other than a chinlock they’ve been going strong for like 5 minutes. Out to the floor where Jeff interferes and it turns into a big brawl. Lita tries to jump Pac which results in her getting flipped. Here’s Eddie for the save and he throws Pac into the Twist of Fate for the pin as Matt retains.

Rating: B-. For a six minute match, this was pretty awesome. They didn’t stop moving the entire time and it made the match a lot better. Pac can go when he’s in there with a smaller guy like Hardy and this is what you get out of it. As long as he’s not around big guys and overcoming the odds and making said big guy look like an idiot, this was fine.

Saturn is still out of it.

Angle is very happy looking as he comes to the ring. After a break here’s the medal celebration, complete with an Olympic style three place podium. Kurt reads from a scroll about what a hero is because San Jose is stupid. It’s pretty epic with fireworks and Heyman saying John Wayne wishes he could be the American that Angle is. Imagine how JR takes that.

This brings out Shane McMahon to I believe new music which is still awesome. I know he didn’t have it at Mania. He talks about WCW which is starting soon. Shane goes through the letters WCW, starting with W, which stands for World. We live in the world on the planet Earth. There are other planets like Mars, Jupiter, Pluto, and they all have moons. Kurt: “What are you talking about?”

Shane goes on to talk about the letter C, which stands for championship, which Kurt currently doesn’t have. It can also stand for crayon, coyote and for cookie, which is good enough for me. Kurt: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” (According to Eric Bischoff, it stood for commitment but continuity didn’t mean anything in WCW). The final W is for wrestling which he says as he walks up the podium. Angle runs up and hits a big old Angle Slam and the ankle lock to leave Shane laying. This was odd as Shane had no real reason to come out here. It set up a great brawl at KOTR though so no complaints there.

Debra is in the back and is fine. Austin comes in and she says she was just gone getting coffee. She apologizes and Austin says he was worried about her. He talks about Regal thinking it might have been Taker and here is that Taker, getting right in Debra’s face. Taker says it’s not over, which it more or less was. He says it’s personal and to keep his family out of it. Austin isn’t that much shorter than Taker. Taker leaves and Austin says he didn’t fight because Debra was there. Austin came off looking like a face here while Taker looked like a heel.

Shane is escorted out. And I’m sure we won’t see him all night long right?

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies

Molly isn’t tall enough to be the Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress and I don’t know of any Bus Stops in Dudleyville. That’s all the Hollies songs I know so no more references. Big brawl to start and Hardcore is sent outside so double teaming ensues. Bubba vs. Crash officially gets us going. Off to Bob vs. D-Von as the fans want tables. Spike and Molly are near each other on the floor which distracts D-Von, giving the Hollies the advantage.

Heyman is making Jewish references which are probably pushing the limits a bit too far. Suplex gets two. Hardcore’s dropkick is still sweet to watch. Crash gets a DDT for two. Bubba gets the hot tag and there’s What’s Up to Bob. It’s Table Time and JR asks why it’s always D-Von that has to get the tables. Spike tries to convince Bubba not to use it but Crash hits a baseball slide to send it into their faces. Crash tries to use the bell but Molly breaks that up. The bell winds up in the ring and upside D-Von’s head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Hollies were an interesting team that were actually former tag champions, having a totally forgotten two week reign back in 1999. That being said, they were interesting in that they were rarely put into storylines other than hardcore matches or against each other but they were a fairly decent tag team. Fun little match here with a nice surprise at the end, which is usually the best part of a match.

Vince gives Kurt an IC Title shot against Kane. Kurt isn’t sure if that’s a reward. Vince wanted Kurt to hurt Shane even worse.

The more famous Dudleys yell at Spike about Molly. They declare that Molly is going through a table.

Eddie comes in to check on Matt before he and Jeff team up against Edge and Christian.

HHH reminds Austin that they’re a team.

Steven Richards is at WWF New York and announces that…..well I’m not sure as Heyman yells that NO ONE CARES and to go tell someone who cares. I don’t know if it was his voice or what but that cracked me up.

Eddie Guerrero/Jeff Hardy vs. Edge/Christian

Eddie vs. Edge starts us off and this is a pretty stacked tag match. Jeff speeds things up but Christian cheats like a good heel. He comes in legally now and gets a powerslam for two. Heyman shows what an analyst is supposed to do by asking the question of who would make a better partner for Eddie: Jeff or Matt.

See, that simple question is pertinent to the match and angle at hand, gets JR into the conversation, and isn’t something that there’s a clear cut answer to. Today you would hear about how one isn’t in the Fave Five and something about how Cole is going to do this or that and how something is trending on Twitter or talking about the main event. In about 4 seconds, Heyman has probably played more attention to a match than Cole has in a year.

Anyway, Jeff comes in with a jawbreaker to put Edge down and we get a double tag. Eddie snaps off a gorgeous headscissors and the non-Canadians beat Christian down in the corner. There’s Poetry in Motion but Eddie takes a spear and everything breaks down. Eddie might have pushed Jeff out of the way for it. Lita crotches Edge on the post and Eddie gets a sunset bomb on Christian for the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty nice fast paced tag match here. Unfortunately the Eddie and Hardys angle never got any resolution as Eddie would be sent to rehab later this month and would be released in November. After next week, he wouldn’t wrestle on Raw until April of 2002. Shame too because the angle was pretty intriguing.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Kurt Angle

Kane still has a bad wing. He takes over anyway with a powerslam early on. Kurt avoids a chokeslam and goes after the arm. A cross armbreaker doesn’t work that well so Kane gets Kurt on the mat and pounds away. The arm work continues for awhile until Kane fires back with a side slam and the clothesline. A big boot and another clothesline put Angle on the floor and here’s Shane for the return attack. He throws Kurt back in for a chokeslam to keep the title on Kane.

Rating: D. Pretty meh match here but it wasn’t terrible I guess. These two didn’t have a particularly good match when they wrestled at Mania either so maybe they just don’t click well. They had six minutes or so and it went by fast, but everyone was waiting on Shane to return and attack, so it was a pretty moot point anyway.

The Chrises say remember where we came from to get here.

Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

Overall Rating: A. This is a great show overall with some very fun stuff throughout the night. Everything clicks and for a TV show, that’s almost unheard of. When you get a classic main event, you’re guaranteed a good show but a great show surrounding it makes this one of the best Raws I can remember in a very long time. Check this show out as it’s awesome stuff.

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Ring of Honor
Date: November 19, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

We’re at the first show of the third taping set with the road to Final Battle being pretty clear now. Last week saw Edwards busting out some new tricks to use on Richards which Richards hasn’t seen before. That should make for a pretty interesting big show match but as for TV, Richards is killing me. Let’s get to it.

On the opening recap video, there was a message from the station saying that on 1/1/12, this channel may no longer be available. It’s not for sure but it’s possible I guess.

The main event is Richards vs. O’Reilly in a Team Richards showdown. Oh freaking great.

Mike Mondo says he doesn’t know his own strength.

Mike Mondo vs. Alex Silva

Silva recently won his second OVW TV Title. To be fair he lost it like 9 days later but he did win it so points for that. We’re told that we’re going to find out who Edwards’ trainer is going to be later tonight. They chop it out and do a ridiculous leg lock thing where their legs are tied together and stand on their heads to chop each other. They head to the floor where Mondo hits a big dive.

Edwards’ trainer is Dan Severn. For you people that are saying “who is Dan Severn?” that would be because he never meant anything in mainstream wrestling but was a big deal in the very early days of UFC. Why he was picked is beyond me, but I’m sure it’ll be declared AWESOME. They slug it out and Silva grabs a spinebuster for two. Mondo grabs an armlock but Silva grabs a rope. A second spinebuster is countered into a facejam. A double arm DDT gets the pin for Mondo at 5:00.

Rating: C-. It was better than Mondo’s first match. Silva is only 20 so it’s not like this is going to be his last match. Mondo….I’m just not a fan of the whole Crash Holly “I’m big” thing he’s got going on. He isn’t that good and it shows really badly for him at times. Not a horrible match, but it would have been better served as a dark match.

Cornette says he doesn’t have an official response for Steen yet but on a personal level he says that he’s innocent and will officially respond next week.

Lethal vs. Generico next week for the TV Title.

Lethal says whatever Mike Bennett is up to, it’s not going to work. Bennett had his shot at more time but ran, so Generico gets the next shot.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Mike Bennett

Bennett says this is a TV Title match despite a lack of a title for Bennett. A spinebuster puts Jamin down and Bennett is barely breaking a sweat here. Off to a chinlock as Olivencia is the hometown boy. He’s an upper midcard face in OVW if I didn’t mention that. A running knee by Jamin sets up his comeback and a clothesline gets two. Jamin jumps into a boot but grabs a rollup for two. A sitout Rock Bottom (Box Office Smash) ends Olivencia at 3:34.

Rating: C. Just a squash here which is fine for something like this. Three matches per show is far better than the usual two that they have so I’ll give them points for that. Not a great match at all or even a good one, but it’s hard to grade squashes as there’s just nothing to talk about for the most part.

The reveal of Edwards’ trainer was on Edwards’ Twitter. Richards is mad about it being Severn because Edwards stole it from Richards or something.

We talk about the All Night Express for no apparent reason.

The Briscoes want Coleman and Alexander to show that they’re better than the tag champions and that challenge is accepted.

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Davey Richards

This is getting like 20 minutes isn’t it? Davey says the fans are here for American Strong Style, which is ROH style. Great. Truth Martini is on commentary for no explained reason. They trade kicks and strikes as the kickboxing and martial arts begin. Richards takes him down but there’s no malice here. They both hit dropkicks to give us a stalemate. They hit the mat for leg locks which goes nowhere.

Richards kicks him in the face so they slug it out a bit more aggressively here. Now we talk about Edwards stealing Severn as a training partner. Martini talks about how Edwards is lost and he could give Edwards the guidance he needs. O’Reilly throws on rolling butterfly supelexes and off to a cross armbreaker. They slug it out and Richards kicks him down. A running kick to the face of O’Reilly gets two as we take a break.

Back with O’Reilly getting two and we slug it out even more. The champ takes him down with a clothesline but here are more strikes and kicks. Richards says bring it on so they slap each other a lot. A running knee to the chest gets two for Kyle. A leg trap suplex gets the same and Kyle goes up, only to get knocked to the floor. Richards misses a kick and hits the post by mistake, letting O’Reilly hit a running dropkick off the apron. Missile dropkick gets two and it’s off to a guillotine choke.

Richards rolls into an ankle lock which is reversed into a tornado DDT and back into the choke. Off to a standing version of said choke and Richards grabs the ankle. Kyle rolls through into one of his own but Richards rolls through into one of his own and the other member of Team Richards throws in the towel at 16:30.

Rating: C. The kicks are still annoying. Richards shrugged off the kick to the post and the ankle lock came out of nowhere, which isn’t a good thing because it all the kicks go completely against the style the match had so far. But hey, they kicked and struck a lot so the match had to be good right? Not a fan of Richards and this style at all.

Richards beats up Martini post match.

Overall Rating: C. The three matches helped a lot but at the same time….I just don’t care about most of these feuds. Honestly if I lose ROH TV soon after this I’m not going to care in the slightest. These stories aren’t interesting me at all and the matches are nothing special to see either. I don’t get all the hype this company gets, because this show has been weak since day one.

Results
Mike Mondo b. Alex Silva – Double Arm DDT
Mike Bennett b. Jamin Olivencia – Box Office Smash
Davey Richards b. Kyle O’Reilly via corner stoppage

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It’s that time of the month again.  Make your own jokes.I’ll take Rock/Cena but if there’s no violence there, it’s going to be viewed as boring.  I’m thinking there’s a big essay length post about the build to Mania whenever I have the chance to write it.

I think Team Barrett wins because the Barrage has been going too strong to have him lose his first big match as a top heel on the show.

Henry to retain.  It wouldn’t make sense for Show to win and I’d expect a possible match to blow it off at TLC before Kane returns.

The show is looking good from a build perspective and somehow, Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth is looking like the weakest main event.  The biggest problem is that there’s no reason to have the match as nothing is going to happen if Awesome Truth wins because they’ve been right: they’re an afterthought.

Thoughts?

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Well this has been built up for a good while now. The main thing here is who does Cena side with: Nexus or the forces of good as it’s Free or Fired. I really don’t know what’s coming here so I’m rather excited for this. We also have a decent build to Edge vs. Kane but I don’t think it ends tonight. Kane is a step backwards now but I think he still pulls it out. On paper this is a decent show. Let’s get to it.

We open with the old school run down of the Survivor Series logos and then we shift over to Cena. Wait I’m watching this on the internet so let me get this out of the way: CZENA SUX HE ONLY KNOWZ FIVE MOVEZ! There now that that’s out of the way we can continue. The people in the LD are right: this video on Cena and Barrett is awesome. Oh and Orton is here too.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

At least Maryse looks hot. Cole is on Bryan for his music this time. Daniel goes for the arm to start which gets reversed. Some submissions master. Nice counter if nothing else and the lights go out for a second. Lawler: I like it when the lights go down. Cole: So do I since I don’t have to look at Bryan. He’s on tonight. DiBiase tries to suplex Bryan to the floor and actually get it in a nice bump.

Challenger controls and hits an elbow from the middle rope to Bryan who is laid on the apron. Think how Taker puts someone for his legdrop. I guess the lights going on for a bit made him channel his inner deadman. Bryan gets some strikes in but DiBiase just pounds him down. Dang Maryse is looking good in a nice little short dress. DiBiase gets a second rope dropkick for two.

Cole jumps down Bryan’s throat again. Apparently Johnny Rodz trained Striker. That explains a lot. Bryan speeds things up but still can’t keep momentum going as DiBiase kicks him in the face. Bryan gets a suicide dive to the floor and may have blown out a shoulder. Not sure if it’s legit or not. There’s the top rope dropkick so he’s doing on enough it seems.

Bryan gets a small package for two but DiBiase gets a clothesline so hard that Bryan backflips for two. Dream Street is countered twice but DiBiase gets a big spinebuster for two. Better match than I was expecting so far. Ted goes way up but gets crotched into a belly to back off the top. Nice job and Bryan’s shoulder is either messed up legit or he’s selling the heck out of it. That gets a nice two and here comes the LeBell Lock but it’s countered into a slingshot. And so much for that as the hold goes on and DiBiase taps.

Rating: B. Solid opener all around here. I don’t think DiBiase was a legit threat for the most part but he was fine for a challenger. This is the kind of thing I’ve been looking for more of with DiBiase giving Bryan a nice challenge but nothing he can’t handle and we got a pretty solid match out of it. What more can you ask for? Nice opener.

As Bryan is celebrating Miz pops him with the MITB case. He and Riley get in the ring and runs down the Heat (remember he’s from Cleveland) which is very true here as the Heat are just doing ok this year and have started badly all things considered. He shifts over to LeBron, saying he should go back to Cleveland. The lights go out again during this. He says he’s tired of carrying the briefcase. It’s a matter of when, not if.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison which should be good if their falls count anywhere match was any indication. Basically Morrison says Sheamus is a bully and is protecting Santino from him. Sheamus says he’s a former and future champion and Morrison is jealous.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

I’ve been looking forward to this one. Morrison starts fast of course and sends Sheamus to the floor with a dropkick, followed by a corkscrew dive over the top to the floor. And so much for that as Sheamus drills him in the head. Striker says he’s enjoying the beating here. All Sheamus for the most part here. Lawler still doesn’t like him.

Lawler talks about the size difference, prompting various jokes. Sheamus is pounding away here and is getting close to that zone of his. Middle rope suplex is blocked though and here comes Johnny Boy. Top rope cross body is rolled through into a powerslam for two. I’ve always been a fan of that counter as it’s simple yet effective. Brogue Kick misses and an enziguri puts both guys down.

Sheamus is up first and we slug it out. Nice job of being an anti-bully by punching the guy in the face. Nice thing to teach the kids there Johnny. He looks all ticked off now and goes on offense. He walks into an Irish Curse for two though. The crowd is into this show so far which is a nice touch. We get our second slingshot into the post of the night and a Russian legsweep gets two on the Irish dude.

Morrison lands on the middle rope off a catapult and Sheamus takes the knee out. Solid back and forth match so far. In a move I’ve never seen before, Sheamus puts Morrison’s leg on his shoulder like he’s going to stun it and then launches him forward just by pulling it forward. That’s a new one on me. Half crab gets Sheamus nowhere. Morrison grabs a rollup for two.

Back to the knee and Morrison is in trouble again. Morrison sends him into the corner but Sheamus gets up before Starship Pain can hit. And there’s the High Cross but it’s countered again and the Flash Kick takes down Sheamus. A running knee gets the three and the WZPC Title is in trouble.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot. Rather solid match for the most part here with both guys getting solid offense in which resulted in me not knowing who was going to win until the end. That’s the sign of a good match and it paid off here. Solid stuff again and these two have a weird chemistry together which isn’t something you can teach. I liked it.

Knucklehead stuff.

Cena is in the back and here’s R-Truth again to complain about nothing in general. He offers a solution and Cena kind of rolls his eyes. Truth offers to interfere and attack Orton which Cena shoots down. Truth doesn’t believe he’ll be fair. More or less this sounded like a heel turn promo.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Basically this is happening because Kaval got his first win over Ziggler on Smackdown and is using his win of his choice. Cole runs Kaval down of course. Vickie does her usual thing. Kaval has some slightly new tights here. And so does Ziggler. Kaval kicks a lot to start and in other news I’m watching wrestling. A snap mare gets one. Who covers after a freaking snap mare?

Ziggler gets some basic grappling to take down Kaval. Striker wants Vickie and Kaitlyn. He must be hardcore. Handspring into a cross body (think Tajiri) gets two for Kaval. Vickie distracts Kaval and down he goes. The title has never changed hands in Miami. I don’t get the point of those things. They don’t really mean much but they’re better than nothing I guess.

The announcers exchange movie and TV references including Cagney and Lacey as not much is going on here. Kaval takes over with strikes of course, some of which aren’t even strikes. Kaval is the World Warrior apparently. NICE moonsault press gets two. A handspring sets up a BRUTAL kick to the face for two. That was awesome looking.

Warrior’s Way is avoided and Ziggler gets the sleeper on the middle rope. He gets knocked off and Kaval busts out a moonsault into a 450. No worries though as he lands on his feet. Well of course he does. Backslide gets two and a Fameasser (NOT THE ZIG ZAG COLE!) gets two. Both guys down now as this show has been SWEET from a wrestling perspective so far. SWEET enziguri from the top gets two.

They slug it out some more and Ziggler can’t put him away. Kaval goes for a school boy but Ziggler grabs the ropes. A small package for Dolph gets two as this is getting very good very fast. Another rollup from Kaval is reversed into a rollup by Ziggler to retain. Nice pinfall reversal into the ending there. May have been some tights grabbed too.

Rating: B-. This has been a SWEET show from a wrestling perspective as this is the third solid match in a row. When’s the last time you get that from a WWE show? Kaval shouldn’t win a title yet so this is a good ending for it. Ziggler is very good in the ring and has been getting to show us that lately. I liked this as I have every match. Good match again.

Team Del Rio talks about beating Rey and there’s a theme of speaking Spanish here. Del Rio wants to see kids cry. I like this guy!

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Chris Masters, MVP
Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger

The crowd has kind of died which is sad as this has been a very solid show so far. Cole says the heel team is the best groomed team ever. That was a good one. The captains start us off here as I love seeing these matches. It would be nice to not have seen it at Bragging Rights but you get the idea. Cody comes in maybe 10 seconds after we start. Team Rey is all in blue.

Striker says Rickey Henderson might be the best ball player of all time. Just….no. Lawler has to get them back on track. You can tell they’re in trouble when he’s the voice of reason. Beautiful Disaster gets two and here comes Alberto again. Rey takes over and needs to tag. Ah there we go and it’s the hometown boy. Drive By kick in the corner and here comes Kofi.

Lawler talks about his mini clowns and mini kings. Here’s Masters now as Alberto is getting beaten up. Drew jumps into Chris’ boot and MVP is back in to beat up Drew. Ballin hits but we get the Mania 5 Rude/Warrior ending to get rid of MVP. Masters vs. Alberto now as Masters hits a Jackhammer for two. Masterlock can’t go on but Alberto gets a Codebreaker onto the arm and then the armbreaker gets the tap to get us to 5-3.

And here’s Big Show which I think everyone saw coming. Off to Swagger and down he goes to some chops. Swagger takes out the knee and brings in Alberto again. Dang he’s been in a lot. He slaps Show’s head and Show shouts HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? Drew won’t tag in so Alberto tags him in. Show knocks Alberto out anyway for fun. Nice shot as Del Rio just crumbled. Something tells me that’s your ending.

Future Shock can’t hit Show who slams Kofi onto Drew for two. Del Rio is taken out and I’d bet on him coming out to get the win, especially since the announcer said completely eliminated. Kofi slaps Cody who LOSES it, destroying the table and kicking anything in sight. He yells at Chimmel to HOLD UP THE JACKET. There’s a blemish so Kofi slams him again.

Show comes in and grabs his face. Show yells at him and Cody hides, so Show just punches him for the easy pin. Reks is in and hits a big clothesline on Show to take him down for two. Back to Swagger as it’s 5-4 Del Rio but he’s out getting checked on. The heels go after Show’s leg but Show kicks him in the head. And so much for that as Show goes for the chokeslam but it’s reversed into the ankle lock. Has no face ever heard of breaking up a hold???

Show drags Swagger to the corner and gets the tag to Rey who goes nuts on Jackie boy. Big boot takes Rey’s head off though for two. Kofi interferes to put Swagger in 619 position but he grabs the legs into a SICK ankle lock. He can’t crawl to the corner so he swings Jack into 619 position but Swagger tags Reks. Kofi comes in but they can’t get Reks out even with a big top rope cross body.

Kofi misses his running leapfrog into the punches in the corner and winds up in the Tree of Woe. Kofi kicks him out of that and gets the pin to tie us up. Swagger grabs the ankle lock which doesn’t work and neither does the powerbomb. Kofi misses Trouble in Paradise and lands in the ankle lock to make it officially 3-2 with Show and Rey against Swagger Drew and Del Rio even though Del Rio is gone.

Show and Rey go for the Rey diving off Show’s shoulders but Drew gets a shot in and Rey crashes. Swagger vs. Rey with the masked dude getting a top rope rana to set up the 619. There’s the Show’s shoulder splash to get us down to just Drew in the ring. Yep I’d still bet on Del Rio coming back. Future Shock is blocked and the 619 sets up a chokeslam to end it. Apparently that’s it as Del Rio is gone. So I guess Del Rio was eliminated first?

Rating: B-. These are hard to grade but this was pretty fun. The ending was about what I expected but Alberto going out first was really weird and I was completely wrong about him coming back. It’s nice to see one of these at the show that’s supposed to have these matches. Rey and Show winning was kind of predictable but that works fine sometimes. Fun stuff.

Ad for TLC which is literally all stick figures. I liked it.

Randy says nothing special.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Man Michelle looks good in some gold shorts. I can’t imagine Natalya doesn’t get the belt tonight. Actually I could but it involves Beth Phoenix returning soon. Natalya is built. We start with some blonde on blonde action here which is never a bad thing. The announcers point out that both of Laycool are from Florida. That means a total of nothing but whatever.

Heel double teaming puts Natalya out to the floor and has her in trouble. Dang imagine Michelle as your teacher in like 7th grade. Natalya gets a suplex on both girls to send everyone down. They play up the whole this is Natalya’s life thing as she gets beaten down. That would signal foreshadowing and maybe it does as McCool is sent into the crowd. Back in the ring as Natalya sends their heads together and the Sharpshooter to McCool ends it.

Rating: D+. Was anyone really surprised here? This was about what everyone expected it to be and at least the right person won. Not a bad match or anything but a total break between the early stuff and then the real meat of the show which we’re about to get to. This change needed to happen so all is right with the world now. Ok not in the slightest but this was the right result.

Post match Laycool jumps here and I was right as Beth is here to kick their small but shapely figures. She celebrates with Natalya.

We recap Edge vs. Kane which more or less is Edge came back to Smackdown and won a title shot then kidnapped Paul Bearer. That’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Champion comes out first here which is a little weird. Pretty decent pop for Edge. Edge brings out an empty wheelchair to keep up the psychological stuff. Edge fires away to start and pulls Kane not quite to the floor. Top rope something jumps into the chokeslam but a spinwheel kick gets Edge out of trouble as well as two. Edge keeps messing with Kane’s mind and it seems to be working.

Edge goes for the knee and controls for the opening few minutes if not more. Edgecution is blocked and Edge gets draped over the top rope and has his head kicked in. Kane keeps asking where Paul is. Apparently the only way for him to find out is for Edge to tell him and it has to be IN THIS MATCH. Why? Striker makes it seem like Bearer will die if he doesn’t do this just right. This isn’t Bash 04 dude.

This crowd is just boring. We get a Craig Pittman reference of all things as King mentions hearing once that “beatings will continue until morale improves.” Edge gets a top rope cross body for two as this is going VERY slowly. Edge gets a shot in for a counter as this is putting me to sleep.

We get some very basic back and forth stuff with nothing behind it at all. The fans just do not care at all here. The Edgecution hits as I’m just waiting for LONG stretches of time between typing anything here due to boredom. Edge sets for the spear but Kane kicks his head off and gets the chokeslam for two. And then Edge hits the spear to win it. The announcers seem to not notice.

And never mind as both sets of shoulders were down so it’s a tie and Kane keeps the title. I smell a TLC match.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was boring. We had to sit here that whole time for THAT finish? Are you kidding me? We had a tie at Survivor Series. This company makes my head hurt so often at times. I guess that it sets up a big gimmick match at the next PPV, but the downside is that it sets up a big gimmick match at the next PPV.

Post match Kane goes to beat up Edge but Edge counters and puts Kane in the wheelchair which Edge sends through the barricade.

Barrett talks to Cena about Nexus which began in this building. We get it.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

All of Nexus is out here for this but they don’t talk. Well other than Barrett of course. Slater vs. Santino to start as apparently Vlad has been teaching Santino Sambo. Oh great now he has offense. Nexus looks like they have more unique tights now. Santino gets the first loud chant in a good while. Oh what are you really expecting here? After Vlad gets beaten down for awhile Santino comes in and cleans house but Nexus interferes so Slater can get the pin to retain. It was maybe four minutes long.

Rating: D. This was the next to last match on a major PPV. Do I need to explain why this was a bad idea?

Nexus beats Santino down afterwards and it’s E-MAIL TIME IN SOUTH BEACH BABY!!! It’s just a reminder to not interfere in the title match and if they do they’re all suspended.

We recap Cena vs. Barrett. Cena is stuck in Nexus and if he gets Barrett the title tonight he isn’t fired and is free from Nexus. If Orton retains then Cena is fired. Short and sweet, so of course they take five minutes to set it up. Sweet video though.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Cena comes out first and is all like come on let’s get this over with. Nice pop for Orton but not as big as for Cena. Immediately after the bell rings a fan shouts out YOU FREAKING PIECE OF GARBAGE! Not sure who that was to but dang it’s weird hearing that on a WWE show. The fans chant RKO and we start very, very slowly.

Clean match a few minutes in. This is going to get 15-20 minutes and no one cares about anything but the ending. Cena is being fair so far. They head to the floor with Barret in control. Barrett throws punches for two as Cena counts fairly. This has been about 80% punches and headlocks and we’re almost ten minutes in.

The one thing no one seems to talk about in WWE is the idea of Barrett just being able to beat Orton. If that happens fairly then Cena wins his freedom and Barrett wins fairly. It tells you a lot when a clean ending is a total and complete impossibility. The match doesn’t matter a bit here as it’s just window dressing for the Cena move, whatever that is.

A Barrett elbow gets two. Cena keeps having to explain that it was a two count and the shoulder was up. Barrett sets for Wasteland but Orton gets elbows to the head. And then he gets a Bossman (Black Hole according to Striker) Slam for two. Dueling Cena chants start up. Back in the ring Wasteland hits and Orton grabs the rope. Cena counted fairly.

Barrett gets in his face and Cena looks scared. Barrett shoves him and Cena shoves him into the RKO and counts the three. Hokey smoke. Everyone is stunned, myself included.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but to put it mildly this was all about setting up the ending angle which is going on as I type this. Barrett’s in ring style is something I like. This wasn’t horrible as the crowd carried a lot of it, but this really was pretty weak. It was all about the ending though, and sometimes that’s fine. Not terrible but just there as a backdrop for the ending.

Nexus runs in and it’s the Super Best Friends to take care of them. Cena hands him the title and he poses to his music and leaves. Cena stands in the ring and lays his wristbands down in the middle of the ring and gets a mostly face chant. He hugs Cole and Sign Guy then comes back towards the ring. He points to a camera and walks up the ramp. I feel like an idiot writing every basic thing he does. The little graphic comes on in the corner as he’s about to leave but he goes into the crowd to high five people. He goes all the way around the arena and the camera stays on him, and then he leaves and we fade to black.

Overall Rating: B. There were some boring parts (Kane vs. Edge springs to mind. Scratch that as springing would imply someone doing something quickly in that match) to this but overall I really liked tonight’s show. The wrestling in the first hour to hour and a half is the best WWE has put on TV in a long time. The drama in the main event was certainly there and while I didn’t like the execution of it that well, the point was to make us want to watch to see what happened and that’s what happened.

This show was high on drama and it felt like a major show. Having four good matches to start and some decent ones to finish on helped a lot too. The show felt like it was something you needed to see and with that all hinging on one moment, the extra stuff at the beginning easily make this a good show and well worth checking out if you get the chance. Good show.

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