No Mercy 1999 – Another Request

No Mercy 1999
Date: October 17, 1999
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 18,742
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Still trying to finish the millennium by Monday with this and Armageddon to go. The main event here is Austin vs. HHH for the title which I would think needs no explanation. That’s not the important thing here though. The important thing here is the final match in the Terri Invitational Tournament, which is a best of 5 series between Edge and Christian and the Hardys.

This one however, is a ladder match. Also here we have the Good Housekeeping match which ends Chyna vs. Jarrett and has a cool story behind it. Let’s get to it as we have two shows left.

The opening video is about HHH being nuts lately which wouldn’t kick into high gear until the Rumble with the street fight vs. Cactus. The idea here is that neither Austin nor HHH will have any mercy. Wow that’s just riveting isn’t it?

Much like a modern show, we jump right into the first match.

Godfather vs. Mideon

The girls look better than normal which isn’t saying much. Apparently Godfather is mad at Mideon over something from Smackdown and Vince threw this match on the card about 20 minutes ago. Ok then. I never realized how annoying Godfather was back in the day. The Ministry more or less was just these two at this point. That made no sense so far. Viscera is with Mideon. Godfather had been IC Champion in April of this year for no apparent reason.

The main event is no holds barred now. Good to know. That makes more sense if nothing else. Viscera keeps the Ho Train from starting, which is good as it’s an idiotic move to begin with. Yeah I could care less about this match if you couldn’t tell. Everyone in this match is rather annoying yet kept getting jobs for no apparent reason out of this. This is just boring. Is this supposed to get the crowd into the show or something? It’s putting me to sleep and we’re ten minutes in.

Why is this still going on? It’s not interesting, it’s not any good, the crowd isn’t into it, so let’s let it keep on going. Sure why not. To be fair though, this is on first so I won’t remember it in an hour. Ho Train connects and he rolls Mideon up for the pin. Uh ok sure. And as usual Tim White dances with the girls.

Rating: F+. Seriously, what was the point here? I get that they needed to fill in some time but they couldn’t have split up the time and given it to the other matches instead? The ladder match couldn’t have gotten two or three of this and a long promo gotten the rest? I completely fail to see the point in this but at least it’s over. Horrible choice for an opener but I guess it’s best to get it out of the way now and not later on.

We go back to Smackdown where a very injured looking HHH talks to Austin. It’s pretty clearly makeup and yep it’s fake as he beats up Austin. We then throw it to an interview from Heat where HHH brags about what he did.

Wait…if we’re supposed to believe Austin got jumped because he thought HHH was beaten up by Austin (as in HHH told Austin that Austin beat him up), wouldn’t Austin have known better? What sense does that make? Did a match get canceled or something? This was nearly 5 minutes of just talking.

Ah wait we’re not done yet. Ivory doesn’t care about Fabulous Moolah. Moolah has a title shot tonight. She’s 76 years old at this point. Sure why not?

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Ivory

Mae is with her of course. This was when the women’s division was about as boring as you could possibly imaging so this very well may have been the best they could think of. Ivory has a nice figure if nothing else. Dang that’s something I didn’t notice before. Ok I have a reason to pay attention now. Seriously though, this is ok? No one sees anything wrong with this at all?

Having a woman who was in her 20s in World War II being in a wrestling match in 1999 is fine now? Mae breaks up a pin and Moolah gets thrown to the floor. Ok this is officially stupid. Mae gets knocked to the floor. I don’t care if they say they can do this. It’s not something you should allow them to do. If you’re Vince you say no to them. That’s all there is to it. I mean Moolah is taking bumps out there. This is ridiculous.

And now Mae takes a belt shot to the head and falls from the apron to the floor. Moolah wins the title on a horrible looking rollup. This is idiotic and thankfully it’s over. She would lose the title 8 days later to Ivory, making this totally pointless.

Rating: F. No. This is not acceptable. This is nothing but irresponsible. I don’t care if they’re ok with it or anything like that. Vince, you should never have let them in the ring no matter what. This is ridiculous and not right on any level. I hate stuff like this as it’s dangerous and not needed. Don’t have a title match or whatever, but do not do this ever.

HHH is ticked that it’s no holds barred as he thought Austin would get disqualified.

New Age Outlaws vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly

The Outlaws are way over here. They lost the titles to the Rock N Sock Connection a few days ago on Smackdown. Man that was a huge show Thursday night. The Hollies cost them the belts. I guess this was a feud or something at the time. Wait…if the Hollies were fighting them here anyway, why try to cost them the belts? That makes NO SENSE. Can we listen to some Hollies songs instead of watching this match?

It never ceases to amaze me how much praise this era gets yet we’re half an hour into the show and THIS is so far and away the match of the night it’s scary. Road Dogg is very over here. Ah yeah we’re in the super heavyweights era here. Oh and Fink is now the property of Curtis Hughes, as he’s now working for Jericho. Ok then. Holly gets a British Bulldogesque suplex on Road Dogg.

I can’t get over how popular the Outlaws and in particular the canine half of them are. This match is ok. That’s all it is: just ok. There’s nothing that great about it or anything but it’s ok I guess. Again, by far the match of the night at this point. The crowd is hot too. Yep this was supposed to be for the belts so the Hollies cost the Outlaws the belts. Sure why not. Gunn has been in for all of a minute. I wonder what he’s on tonight.

Yeah he’s carrying this team. Road Dogg that is. What was the appeal of Gunn anyway? Dogg was better in the ring and on the mic. Oh that’s right: he didn’t look good or anything so let’s go with the drug addict instead. Oh and he can do press slams. We’ll ignore the fact that he blew every push you ever gave him. A Fameasser on a chair gives the match to the Hollies by DQ. They would win the tag titles the next night.

Rating: D+. This was pretty weak. There’s nothing worth mentioning here. Other than the long paragraph I wrote about it just a few minutes ago of course. Just a standard TV match here without a finish. Again though: best match of the night so far.

We recap Chyna vs. Debra which was actually a solid feud. The deal was Jarrett was talking down to women and had the match won at the last PPV. A substitute referee reversed it though. She has her rematch tonight in a Good Housekeeping match where household objects are allowed as weapons.

Now for the interesting part of this. This match is, among other reasons, the main reason why Jarrett was thrown out of the WWF and told never to come back. In other words, TNA wouldn’t be around if not for this match. The thing was, this had been built up for months at this point. This more or less was the 3rd biggest match on the card. You could argue the 2nd biggest. One problem: Jarrett’s contract expired Saturday night or Friday or whenever.

Point is: he wasn’t under contract for Sunday and was the IC Champion. Vince has a major problem and Jarrett realizes it. So, Jarrett says pay him somewhere around $400,000 or he’s not showing up. He had Vince over a barrel so he got paid. The thing is, Jarrett did nothing wrong whatsoever. Vince messed up here.

He didn’t realize that he had a major issue coming up and he just let it go. Jarrett utilized supply and demand. There was a very high demand for his services and a small supply. He used simple economics and charged Vince a very high price tag for it. Not a thing wrong with it at all. Also, how many times do people get the better of Vince? I love that.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so.

We recap Bulldog vs. Rock. Bulldog cost Rock the world title a few times and no one bought Bulldog in the main event anymore so this is your final match in it. Oh and Rock cost Bulldog the title too. Yeah it sucked.

Rock vs. British Bulldog

Wow that video took way too long. Sweet goodness Bulldog was worthless at this point. As JR put it, how many times can you repackage a guy like him? Rock is a tag champion here as the belts get killed more and more every day as we wait on the trio of saviors to breathe life into them for a bit. And he had no title here for no apparent reason. Dang it we have to hear about Stephanie’s injury from Rebellion AGAIN???

The perk of those shows is YOU NEVER HEAR ABOUT THEM. In case you haven’t read my review of that show, SCREW YOU. Kidding. The idea was that Bulldog wanted a title shot there and didn’t get one so he threw a trash can and it hit Stephanie, injuring her. They would not shut up about it for the rest of the night. It drove me freaking insane hearing about it but it was so important I guess. Anyway let’s get to the match.

It’s a brawl of course all over the floor and into various things. The vertical suplex sucks here. Holly did it about 10x better earlier today. And it’s chinlock time. They botch a Samoan Drop but it looked like a back body drop so that’s ok. This just isn’t that good. The powerslam gets two and no one cares. Bulldog has no heat at all and it’s just pitiful. Powerslam #2 is countered and Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow ends it clean. What the heck was that?

Rating: D. Seriously, what the heck was that? This was like 7 minutes and Rock was never once in anything close to trouble. Bulldog hit his finisher and no one cared. This was a joke and the definition of an abortion of a feud and a push.

Terri explains how to win a ladder match while Lawler looks up her skirt. She’s not that hot, period.

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

They’re the New Brood here but you get the idea. The winner gets $100,000 and Terri. This is the night where these four broke through to the other side and changed the company for more or less ever. Keep in mind, none of the spots you’re about to see have ever been seen in the company before so this is all new stuff. What you have here is four guys being told to go out there and just do it. I’ve long since thought this WWF’s answer to the cruiserweights.

This is the Terri Invitational Tournament. Spell it out for yourselves. We start on the floor and this should be awesome. It’s a fight to get to the ladders. I’ve never gotten why you need to get to the ladder first. It’s not like that means you win or anything. I remember in War Games 2000 in WCW you had to get the belt down and leave with it. Kevin Nash just stood at the door. He didn’t have to do anything but leave with the belt, so why risk getting hurt to go up there and get it?

Let someone else do the work. First ladder is brought in and down goes Edge. The reactions to this are great. The fans are gasping at every spot which is what you want: to get the crowd excited. We’ve been in this match maybe four minutes and it’s already way ahead of the rest of the show. Oh Gangrel was thrown out. Swanton to Edge onto a ladder. Looking back this isn’t that great by comparison but it’s still very fun.

You have to keep in mind that there is nothing to compare it to at the moment. This is the first multi-man ladder match so this is just mind blowing. Also it’s the first time that there isn’t a big man like Ramon in there. These guys are designed for matches like this and it’s working really well. Edge is almost there and Matt just chucks a ladder at him. That was cool.

Matt’s crotch gets crushed. You know, it occurs to me that in storyline, Matt and Edge dated Lita, in the Christian/Jericho and Lita/Trish angle it was Christian and Lita and Jeff and Lita had a small thing once Matt was gone. Man that girl gets around. Everyone is down now as Christian takes a Twist of Fate. Second ladder is set up. Jeff takes a Downward Spiral from the ladder.

The great thing about a ladder is that while most of the spots are from about the level of the second rope, having a ladder involved makes it seem cooler. The see-saw spot debuts and Christian and Matt get slammed in the face with it. These things never get old. The look on Edge’s face with him laying on his back with his eyes open is great. All four go up at once and all four come down with all four landing on the ropes.

Crowd is going crazy mind you. The roof camera view is pretty awesome actually. Edge climbs one ladder, Christian and Jeff climb another. Matt slams the ladder with two guys into the other ladder so Edge falls. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other and knocks Edge off to grab the money. SWEET ENDING.

Rating: A. Just yes. This is the reason to see this PPV. This match just changed the WWF forever as they set the standard for awesome matches with ladders. The fans ate this up like no other and it still definitely holds up today. Just a great match.

Edge and Christian get a standing ovation too. They deserve it.

Mankind tries to find Rock. He slips Rock a copy of his autobiography in the bathroom then runs into him in the hall. Rock hates Mankind at the time mind you but they’re tag champions. The chemistry was great though. For no apparent reason, Val Venis beats up Mankind in the bathroom. Ok then. They have a match apparently. That makes sense. That was on Heat I guess.

Here’s Rock though. He wants the title shot at Survivor Series. Sweet goodness this man was popular. As he’s leaving HHH jumps him with the sledgehammer.

Val Venis vs. Mankind

Random much? Venis has a copy of Foley’s book, which really did rock. Venis was given a way too solid push around this time and this is no exception. Foley is shown in the back helping Rock on the stretcher. We start on the floor of course. There’s not much to talk about here. Mankind pulls Mr. Rocko out of Val’s tights which is as stupid as you would think it is. We hit the floor for awhile and the Claw is on.

Val breaks it by slamming Foley’s head into the post. Nicely done. So Foley has a head injury. Val, using intelligence, goes for THE HEAD. Are you paying attention people? Using simple things like that can make a match that much better. This is a better match than I was expecting. Val hits an elbow to the back of the head and Foley isn’t moving at all. Money Shot misses. Double Arm DDT gets two. I’m liking it. Both guys have socks.

Mankind grabs the mouth and Val grabs Foley’s balls. Ok then. That knocks Mankind out…for the pin? What the….huh? Holy head scratcher Batman. Foley gets Rocko back to end this.

Rating: B-. The story made sense here is nothing else. That’s the biggest thing it has going for it I guess. Foley continues to job for everyone. I still say that he’s the best jobber of all time. Still though, this was a pretty good match that worked well enough given what was going on in it.

We see Kane losing to the Acolytes and still being mad at X-Pac. That leads us to this.

X-Pac vs. Bradshaw vs. Farrooq vs. Kane

It’s elimination rules. Ok then. This is yet another namesake in this WTF show. So are there no tags here? X-Pac gets crushed in about 8 seconds so that means he’ll be winning. It’s Acolytes vs. Kane in the ring and apparently we do have tags. Kane busts out the enziguri here which is always cool to see. Kane and X-Pac still don’t get along for whatever reason. I always hated this team and since I always liked Kane it must be because of X-Pac.

The Acolytes EXPLODE! Doesn’t have the same ring as the Mega Powers does it? I’m still trying to figure out the point to this match but whatever. This was very much in the underdog period for X-Pac which is where he got very annoying very quickly. The problem was simply that it wasn’t realistic for him to be in there with guys this size. The giant killer thing is fine but only once in awhile. Eventually reality needs to set in and it became stupid after a short while with Waltman. Or at least it did with me.

It’s Bradshaw vs. X-Pac in there at the moment. Crowd doesn’t seem to care here either. I love that boot to the face. Not in general but just this one. Seeing him get his head kicked in is just fun. Pac hits a decent tornado DDT. Kane gets in as there continues to be no point in this not being a tag match. I forgot that it was every man for himself for a bit there. Kane gets the chokeslam on Bradshaw for the pin.

A spinning heel kick from the top puts Kane out so it’s Farrooq vs. X-Pac. Riveting isn’t it? Farrooq gets his spinebuster which always makes me want to say boy please. And there’s your horrible ending. Farrooq goes for a flying shoulder block and X-Pac counters into what was supposed to look like an X-Factor but just looked bad. I think that’s the other problem I have with him: his finishing move sucks. Oh look the little guy beat three big ones. Yeah I don’t care either.

Rating: D. Again, what was the point here? This was just filler I guess but it wasn’t that bad. Yeah it was a storyline that was going on at the moment but still, this was rather pointless in my eyes. I hated the ending too but then again we’ll push Waltman no matter what right? Yeah I can’t stand him. Get over it.

Rock won’t go to the hospital.

We recap Austin vs. HHH which is mainly him beating up Austin at Summerslam. That led to Austin being Austin. If nothing else it’s set to his H-Blocks song which I’ve always liked. It’s Austin’s first match since Summerslam so it’s clear he was about to go out for neck surgery here. It was supposed to be Austin vs. Rock vs. HHH at Survivor Series. If a triple threat ever headlined Mania that would have been it. OH OK!

The thing from earlier wasn’t Austin beating him up. It was an actual rattlesnake that allegedly bit him. That makes so much more sense. I couldn’t get a clear signal on UPN for years so I missed a lot of Smackdown in the early years.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. HHH

This is anything goes remember. Yep Austin is still over. I’ve always loved HHH’s My Time song. Just a sweet song all around. Vince grabs the sledgehammer from HHH in the aisle and down goes Vince. It wouldn’t be the late 90s if it didn’t start in the aisle would it? Austin goes aerial and takes out HHH with a jumping clothesline from the barrier. Nice. He used to jump around a lot more before his body became suck a mess.

We hit the crowd. Haven’t actually been in the ring yet of course. JR calls that a restaurant quality beating. That’s not a terrible line. In ECW fashion, the fans hand Austin things to hit HHH with. You can see the hardwood that the Cavs play on. Austin grabs one of the boom cameras and spins it so it hits HHH. Those are the ones on big long things that I can’t think of the name of that spin around and film things. You would know them if you saw them.

We still haven’t been in the ring yet. Austin walks up to it and is like nah screw it I don’t know how to get in there. That’s a foreign place to me. We get to the barrier and now back into the crowd. I usually hate this but here it makes sense as they hate each other. Did you know pinfalls count anywhere here? I didn’t either but apparently that’s the case. Well now it really makes sense.

Hmm. I’m a referee and Austin is in a position to catapult HHH. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with standing RIGHT WHERE HHH IS ABOUT TO BE LAUNCHED TO. Seriously, why are referees so stupid? Hey we’re in the ring! Crowd EXPLODES for the Stunner. Good night the referee is down again and just in time for a Pedigree. Hebner runs down but it’s just two. Earl always had fun beating up HHH.

I used to have a picture of Hebner shouting down HHH. The crowd is nuts about Austin. Austin takes over and goes to the floor again. At least he’s consistent. JR loses his headset. Put some barbecue sauce on it and he’ll have a blog up about it in 30 seconds. HHH is bleeding. At least I’m told that. Not like we can see it or anything. Ah ok he is bleeding. AUSTIN SENT HIM INTO THE RING! I’m STUNNED! And I’m so good with puns.

JR is back. Austin flips off the fans. Again, he plays to the crowd when he can even for just a few seconds and he’s one of the biggest stars ever. It’s so simple yet so effective. A bell shot gives HHH control again. Has anyone ever actually been broken in half? HHH finally wakes up and goes after the knee he tried to destroy. We hit a leg lock which at least is focusing on the body part that was injured already. That’s a plus.

HHH brings in a chair but it doesn’t last long. You can tell we’re getting close to the end here. Austin gets the chair and goes off like HHH did at Summerslam after the knee. Here’s Rock with a sledgehammer. And of course he hits Austin by mistake. Pedigree to Rock and there’s the pin. Austin goes after HHH again and they fight to the back. Chyna is waiting with a limo and they bail to end the show.

Rating: B. This was a fun brawl that did its job. This wasn’t supposed to be anything serious and it wasn’t. This was to have HHH vs. Austin in a war and it worked. It also set up the dream match at Survivor Series which never happened in a total bait and switch but that’s another review that I’ve already done. I liked it and it was entertaining, which is the idea here.

Overall Rating: B. Once you get to the Chyna match, this show takes off in a hurry. It’s a great example of a good show. Other than the ladder match there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see, but if you bought this back in the day, I’d say you would certainly have been satisfied and thought it was worth the 30 (Yes as in more than 29 and less than 31, give a 50 and get a 20 back) dollars to see it.

I liked it but fast forward through the first 40 minutes. This era wasn’t kind to opening stuff and this is no exception. Still though, this was a good show with a red hot main event and a historic match in there. Check out the ladder match for sure and the main event if you have some time to kill and want a decent brawl. Whole show is worth a look but the ladder match in particular is must see. Good show overall.

 

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