NXT – December 28, 2011 – I’d Walk Out Of That Main Event On An Airplane

NXT
Date: December 28, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

It continues. Anyway here we have another edition in the never ending saga that is the fifth season of NXT. I know I say that a lot, but what else is there really to say at this point? We have a love triangle regarding Bateman, Curtis and Maxine, which would be a bit better if the people in it were interesting. Anyway let’s get to it.

Striker is in the ring and says that in three weeks, we’ll be having NXT’s 100th show. A lot of people got their start here, so here’s Justin Gabriel. Before he can say anything though, here’s Slater. He talks about carrying Gabriel all the time and reiterates that he’s the One Man Rock Band. Someone find out what that’s supposed to mean. I’d really like to know. Gabriel asks him just that and Slater says that he plays instruments. Striker makes the match.

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater

Slater hides in the corner as Josh tries to get the nickname Capetown Werewolf over for Gabriel. Striker goes over some of the history of NXT, such as Zack Ryder being the pro for Titus O’Neil back in Season 2. They speed things up and the fans like Gabriel’s speed moves. Gabriel works on the arm and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this. I can’t say I blame them. This has been pretty dull stuff so far. A clothesline puts Slater on the floor and Gabriel hits a big flip dive to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Gabriel breaking Slater’s momentum with an STO. He loads up the 450 but Slater crotches him. Justin gets knocked to the floor and is holding his thigh a bit. That gets two back in the ring but the hand hit the mat three times. Time for a chinlock now. Gabriel gets a small package for two and it’s back to the chinlock, both of which have been by Slater. Josh says this is his favorite season of NXT. The man has no taste.

Justin fires off some kicks and a springboard crossbody gets two. Striker takes credit for this (with a Barry Horowitz reference) as Gabriel’s second 450 attempt gets the same result. They slug it out from their knees and Justin hits an Eye of the Hurricane and a top rope Lionsault for two. You can hear what sounds like the referee saying “go home” and Slater hits a spinebuster for two. They go up to the corner and Slater is knocked throat first onto the top rope. A springboard 450 gives Gabriel the win at 13:02.

Rating: C+. It’s really impressive what happens when you give a match more than a minute and a half. I know it’s impossible to have matches going 12 minutes every week on TV and I’m not saying that’s what should happen, but it’s nice to see things like this every once in awhile. Not a classic or anything but it was a pretty decent match.

Raw Recap eats up a few minutes and focuses on Punk and the gauntlet.

Bateman comes up to Maxine in the back and says they’re both crazy so they’re perfect for each other. Maxine says that she didn’t like the weekly pillow fights and having to watch Titanic every week with his head on her shoulder. He says he’ll get her back and kisses her. That earns him a slap. They leave and we see Curtis watching from the shadows and being very happy about what he saw.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Darren Young is on commentary. Watson controls to start and Young complains as a distraction to let Tyson take over. Tyson hammers on him for a few minutes and you can hear individual fans shouting in the crowd. Watson gets a dropkick and makes a comeback. This crowd is almost eerie. Kidd jumps into a dropkick and there’s the spinning splash for two. Young gets up and distracts Watson so Kidd can hit a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Absolutely nothing to see here at all. Young is trying to get into the mind of O’Neil through Watson, which would be more interesting if this hadn’t been going on for going on ten months now. Also they waste Kidd on this? He’s one of the best regulars on this show if not the best and they waste him here? Seriously?

Aksana comes up to Maxine and and shows her some e-mails she found on Teddy’s phone. They’re from Bateman and says that he’s looking forward to being a Smackdown Superstar but to keep Maxine on NXT because she drags him down.

Johnny Curtis vs. Derrick Bateman

Brawl to start and Bateman takes over with loud clotheslines. They fall to the floor after more beating by Bateman. The crowd sounds like they’re at a funeral. Curtis takes over and Maxine takes over again. After a break Curtis is still in control. Clothesline gets two. This is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in years. And then Bateman rolls him up for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: F. Imagine how interesting it is to watch white paint dry on growing grass. You might have a more entertaining day doing that than watching this match. The feud and story is decent but the matches are just dreadful because Bateman is better as a zany face and Curtis is better as a waiter, so the matches suck. Nothing to see here, just like every other week.

Bateman gets on his knee as Maxine gets in the ring. She walks past him and Curtis comes back out. They kiss and leave together.

Overall Rating: D. GAH JUST END IT ALREADY!!!! How in the world do they think anyone cares about these people at this point? There’s time for a sixth season before the Network launches. But are they going to do that? No. They’re going to keep this up until everyone on the planet is dead from a gunshot to the head after watching Curtis every week.

Results
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater – Springboard 450 Splash
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Spinning Fisherman’s Neckbreaker
Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis – Rollup

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