Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Another WCW PPV for you here. This one looks a little less boring than the Bash, but that’s not really saying much. The main event here is Page, the world champion, defending against Nash. We also get the first bout in the EPIC Flair vs. Piper feud, and I’m sure you’re all dying to see that. Let’s get to it.

We open with your standard video talking about a big match tonight, which here is Goldberg vs. Sting. Also Flair vs. Piper plus a few others but it’s mainly those two.

Tony is in a leather jacket for some reason. The announcers run down the card.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Video on DDP.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

Horace and Vincent of the NWO Black and White are with Ray. The fans here in St. Louis are awesome as they’ll cheer for any face and boo any heel. Why is that so complex? Ray pounds him down in the corner but Konnan pounds him on the middle rope while making oral sex gestures. Vincent gets on the apron to break up a pin attempt. He cheats a bit more on the floor and the fans aren’t all that thrilled here.

Off to a chinlock as Ray thinks of something new he can do other than kicks and forearms. He chokes away which is at least new. Back to the chinlock for more time in the think tank. Suplex gets two and there’s the jump off the ropes into a boot spot. Konnan speeds things up and messes up a leapfrog. X Factor puts Ray down but Horace trips K-Dawg up. Here’s Rey to distract the goons and Konnan wins with a rollup (with a pretty fast count).

Rating: D-. Really dull match here but at least it was kind of logical: once Rey is there to counteract Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber, Konnan can get the pin on his own. Stevie is just so freaking boring without Booker there to help him out that there’s no need to have him out here, especially on a PPV. Boring match and not any good at all.

Video on Kevin Nash.

Video on Sting.

Page talks to Bigelow in the back but we can’t hear what’s being said.

Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is for the moniker King of Hardcore, which isn’t an official title. This of course is a hardcore match if you didn’t get the idea there. There isn’t going to be much to talk about in this. It’s your standard hardcore match with both guys being hit in the head with generic pieces of metal. There’s an RVD sign in the crowd. Heenan tells the announcers to be quiet so he can hear the weapon shots.

Bigelow hits a top rope headbutt for two. Out to the floor and there’s still nothing to talk about. It’s pretty much the same as every hardcore match you’ll ever see. Knobbs’ trashcan shot is blocked by a waiter’s tray which winds up going on top of Brian’s head. Bigelow is in control here. The fans want a table. There are long stretches here where there’s nothing to talk about. It’s just random weapon shots and the announcers laughing.

They fight up the aisle with Knobbs using a trashcan to keep control. There’s the internet location getting its required cameo. They go old school here with the fake souvenir stand that no fan would be able to get to because it’s on the arena floor. We go behind a curtain (revealing about 1/5 of the arena being tarped off) and there’s a ladder shot. An elbow off the stands onto a table misses for Knobbs (I think, you can’t see anything) and Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the pin.

Rating: F. Heenan’s final line of “and they do this for a living” sums things up well. Why in the world did Knobbs of all people have a job here? The match sucked due to there being nothing interesting here at all. There was no comedy spot, there was nothing other than the most basic weapons available, and nothing interesting happened at all. Bad match and really boring. Also it ran almost 12 minutes. Inexcusable.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker. Booker won a match against Steiner with help from Stevie, who is in the NWO (Booker never was). Ray saved him again but Rick came in to beat him up. Rick vs. Booker started up again so let’s have a TV Title match again.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T

Booker is champion here if I didn’t make that clear. Rick starts out with a belly to belly release and a couple of Steiner Lines. I think he’s the heel here but I’m not sure. More control by Steiner until Booker kicks him in the face to put him down. Steiner pops up of course because he isn’t going to sell anything. Off to a chinlock by Booker. I think he’s either heel here or borderline heel.

Steiner takes over on the floor and things slow way down. Time for a chinlock again. The crowd is very quiet. Steiner punches a lot and the fans don’t care. A bunch of punches gets two and here’s that chinlock again. Booker fights back and hits the axe kick, a spinebuster and the missile dropkick but STEINER WON’T SELL THEM. Here’s what happens after every move: Steiner lays there about 2-4 seconds then gets up like nothing happened. Scott finally runs out for the distraction and a Steiner Line gets two. Scott trips Booker and the Bulldog off the ropes gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Just a horribly boring match here as Rick is beyond worthless in the ring at this point. Naturally the answer to that is to give him a title for four months. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING Booker did here and Booker looks like a joke as a result. Bad match but as usual, most of it is due to Rick being lazy and not selling anything.

Time to recap the stupid match of the show. Randy Savage is out of wrestling at this point so he’s putting one of his chicks (the hot one) in there against Lil Naitch in the form of referee Charles Robinson. Yes this match is happening.

Rick rambles to Buff in the back and wishes him luck against Scott later. Gee, that must be totally genuine right?

Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson

Ok to be fair, Robinson’s Flair costume is AWESOME. He has the robe, he has the hair, he looks exactly like a small Nature Boy. Even his face looks like him. Flair and Savage are seconds here. Asya and the other chicks are here too. To be fair, George was indeed hot. Flair, the President of WCW at the time, says he’d like to have Madusa ride Space Mountain. Miss Maddness can come too, but George is being saved for Robinson. Robinson rips George a bit and he sounds EXACTLY like Flair. This is the best imitation I’ve seen in years. Savage (POP) says George will win.

Robinson struts a lot as they stall for a few minutes. George goes after the arm and Robinson reverses. Off to a full nelson and snapmare as George is dominant. Flair and Robinson get rammed together so Savage has to come in and protect George. Robinson goes for a chair but Miss Madness steals it. She gets slammed outside and Savage FREAKS. I mean freaks by his standards.

Back in Robinson takes over with a choke and then does more of that. George comes back with a few chops and Robinson does the flip in the corner and runs the apron, only to get slammed off the top. Heenan says this is great and I can’t say I disagree. There’s a Flair Flop and they’re getting tired. The heels cheat a bit and work over George’s knee but Madusa makes the save.

Robinson works on the knee and if the match continues like it has, that means we’re heading for the Figure Four. He hooks the knee a bit and cranks on it for awhile. Here’s the Figure Four and while it looks good, it’s on the wrong knee. She reverses it and Flair comes in for the save. Savage chases him off and beats up Robinson so George can drop a half decent looking middle rope elbow for the pin. Savage is reinstated.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but at the end of the day we have a referee and a manager in there. Robinson’s Flair impression is absolutely excellent and one of the best I’ve ever seen. George really is gorgeous and it’s a shame she wasn’t around in wrestling more than she was. That being said, this was decent enough all things considered. Ten and a half minutes was too long, but it wasn’t boring and they were trying which is more important than anything else.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell. Bagwell was a face and made fun of him so Steiner said he had a big ego. Bagwell imitated him and it wasn’t really funny.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Since Bagwell never won a singles title, I think you know who is champion coming in. Buff jumps him before the bell and Steiner still has the belt on. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Scott hits him low and there’s the Push-Up elbow. Buff gets thrown to the floor and Steiner yells at some fans. Things slow WAY down with Steiner on offense. It was a running theme with the Steiners at this point.

Scott chokes away and yells at another fan. Much like in the Rick match, you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. They go to the mat and Steiner elbows him a lot. He runs to the floor and brings in a chair. If that shot had hit Steiner would have been facing 10-15 years. Bagwell fights back but there goes the referee. Buff gets the chair and here’s Rick to turn heel on Buff and whack him with the chair. The Recliner keeps the title on Scott.

Rating: D-. I can’t take many more of these bad matches. I mean the people in them are just SO lazy with them laying around and doing nothing of note. Scott and Rick are back together as the Steiners and both have singles titles. You know, because that’s what the people wanted to see and would light the world on fire. Benoit and Jericho and Malenko? Who are they?

Video on Goldberg. These videos are just their music playing over clips of them. They only last about 15-20 seconds each.

Now to really crank it up, here’s a video on all four people in the main events. There aren’t any words to this so the feuds still aren’t explained.

The third straight video (at least they’re short) is on Flair being president and being insane. He’s signing contracts without reading them and one of them is for a match with Piper for the Presidency. Flair thinks he’s President of the United States. I kid you not, this was the second biggest wrestling company in the world at this point. Oh and he went to a mental hospital and thought he was in a hotel. Again, this is what we mean when we say insulting to our intelligence.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Recap of Sting vs. Goldberg. This is for who the franchise is or something.

Sting vs. Goldberg

Tony is either trying to explain what we just saw or is questioning it himself. I’m really not sure. I’m also not sure why this match is happening but who cares? Sting has white boots with black toes. It makes as much sense as anything else here. Goldberg takes him down and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. Sting stalls on the floor and then takes Goldberg to the floor with a clothesline.

Goldberg hooks a cross armbreaker but it isn’t on correctly. Sting fights out of it and we go to a test of strength. He takes out Goldberg’s braced knee (oh sweet psychology, how I missed you) and puts on a Boston Crab which is quickly broken. Goldberg fights back with power moves and things slow WAY down. Top rope clothesline by Sting sets up some Stinger Splashes but Goldberg catches him in a spinebuster which is called a spear. And here’s Bret Hart with a chair and it’s a no contest.

Rating: D. Another bad match. I mean seriously, this show SUCKS. There’s been nothing but boring matches (aside from the opener) and stuff that is basically around to set up matches on Nitro rather than HERE ON THE FREAKING PPV. Nothing to see here as they basically kept it as slow gear as possible.

And then the Steiners run out and beat up Goldberg and Sting. WHY ARE THEY THE FOCAL POINT OF A SHOW IN 1999????

Another wordless video on Page vs. Nash. No word on why they’re fighting but there’s clearly no thinking anywhere else in this show so who cares?

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

And Buffer’s mic doesn’t work right. Seriously, fold already. You can hear him in the arena but not over the PPV feed. Page is champion. Early Cutter attempt is blocked and Page hits the floor. We actually get a reference to the Vegas Connection. Page hammers away but runs his mouth to get himself sent to the floor. Back inside and Nash hammers away. Page charges at Nash and finally kicks him low to take over.

Page rips a buckle off and hits him with the mic for two. He gets sent into the exposed steel though and both guys are down. Page takes over and sends him to the floor. A baseball slide puts Nash down and there’s a Diamond Cutter to kill Nash out there. It only gets two in the ring but at least there was a delay. Now Page goes for the knee for no apparent reason.

He wraps it around the post a few times and pounds on Nash again. There’s something going on in the crowd so they change the camera angle, which is pretty smart. Nash makes his comeback and hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle. Back to the regular angle. Nash….at least limp. Big boot and Jackknife….but here’s Savage to break it up for the LAME DQ. So is he a heel now too?

I would rate it here, but Eric comes out AGAIN and restarts the match. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ. Discus lariat gets the same. And here’s a sleeper, which looks awful because Nash is so tall. Now Nash hooks an even WORSE sleeper but Page jawbreaks his way out of it for two. A chair shot hits the rope and Page takes it in the face for two. Low blow gets two for Page. And then Nash kicks the chair into Page’s face, takes the straps down and wins the title via the Jackknife.

Rating: D. The fans popped for the ending, but I’m just spent at this point. There’s nothing interesting here and the run in and restart made no sense, which is what the name of the show should be. Nash would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Savage before Hogan took it the next night. This was nothing interesting at all and the knee selling coming and going hurt things.

Overall Rating: F-. This is usually were I’d make some witty statement about how this show was so bad it goes beyond bad ratings or something, but there’s nothing left in me after watching this mess. The illogical stories, the stupid booking, the overdoing it with the Steiners, the worthless world title change, and the bad matches just made me completely uninterested by the end of this show. I haven’t felt like that about a PPV in a very long time, but this just drained me completely.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s solid show, we close out the year with this one. There are still five weeks before the Rumble so they could easily burn another show here and things would still be fine. It should be interesting to see where they go here because there really aren’t any matches set up for the PPV, other than maybe Ziggler vs. Ryder II. Other than that there isn’t anything really clear. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk….and never mind as it’s Ace coming out to his music and in a Punk shirt. He says it’s a microcosm of the unpredictability that you’ve gotten under his leadership. The future begins tonight and here’s Punk. After a loud chant for him, he says that if he didn’t know any better, Ace is trying to antagonize him. Why shouldn’t Punk just kick him in the face right now? Ace says he can’t because he’ll get fired.

Tonight, Punk has the night off. Oh and he’s kidding again. Tonight Punk is wrestling up to three times in a gauntlet match. If any of them beats him, that person gets a title shot next week. Punk wants to know what happens if he wins all three matches. Ace doesn’t know, so Punk suggests he gets a shot at Ace if he does. Ace eventually agrees. Punk’s posing is cut off by the latest video. It says he is coming and that he’ll reclaim what is his. The words this time are The End Begins Next Monday.

Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title here. Cole and Jerry has an actual lighthearted argument over who sang Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Hiptoss gives Booker an early advantage and a slam gets two. Snap suplex gets one. Axe kick misses though and Rhodes takes over with a neckbreaker. Out to the floor goes Booker and we take a break. Back with Booker taking over. He spins into the corner though and an elbow takes him down. Off to a crossface chickenwing

Clothesline gets two for Cody. The fans of course chant for Booker and Cody is getting frustrated. Booker fights back and it’s boo/yay tonight. Cody dropkicks him down and works the arm. Camel clutch goes on and Booker gets sent into the corner. He gets his feet up though and looks like he needs oxygen. Side slam gets two. The Jack Brisco sunset flip doesn’t look that good as it gets two. Rollup gets two for Cody. The Beautiful Disaster looks to have been short and it gets two. Cross Rhodes is countered but the side kick misses. The axe kick hits though and it gets the clean pin at 12:06.

Rating: C. The sloppiness hurt it and I’m not sure I like the idea of Cody losing clean. Booker looked kind of old here, but it’s what, his fourth match this year? Not bad and I guess the rematch is coming at the Rumble? Also the booking isn’t bad as he lost when he got beaten down before the match but wins when it’s even. That’s not as bad.

Ryder tells Cena that he owes Cena for everything. Cena says no, you don’t. Everything was Ryder getting here on his own. Cena is going a-Kane hunting though.

Jerry got a note saying that we’ll learn the three opponents for Ace soon. Oh ok he’s going to announce them. The three opponents are Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and Mark Henry.

Kelly has some weird flirting moment with Show when a referee says he’s needed elsewhere.

Ace says Brodus is debuting next week on Raw. Show comes in and Ace talks about Otunga jumping him last week. Otunga says that’s a lawsuit and Show says he can beat Otunga with an arm behind his back.

Swagger and Ziggler trade insults when Vickie comes in and says it doesn’t matter who gets the show. Henry comes in and says excuse me. Ok then.

Eve Torres/Zack Ryder vs. Tyson Kidd/Natalya

….seriously? This is kind of a step down for Ryder isn’t it? Eh well he was getting over and he wasn’t in the original WWE plans so you know they’re not going to be happy with it. Cole says that July 23rd will be the 1000th episode of Raw. Oh my that could be BAD. The guys start and nothing happens so it’s off to the chicks. Eve does her dancing moonsault and it’s back to the guys. We get stereo Broski Boots and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:00. No idea why Ryder was in this.

Here’s Cena who isn’t well received by the fans. He acknowledges that the fans aren’t happy with him and there’s a Cena Sucks chant. Cena talks about how there’s magic in this building in the form of three Wrestlemanias. Chicago inducted Eddie Guerrero into the Hall of Fame, which draws an Eddie chant. Also, right here in this building, CM Punk beat him for the WWE Championship.

New York is considered the capital of the WWE, but after seeing another show like this here in Chicago, he’s not sure about that. Cena has somehow gotten the Chicago crowd on his side. Right now though, he’s going to call out Kane. Cue Miz instead. Miz wants to face him right now because the win at Mania was tainted. Miz wants Rock to beat Cena and tonight he wants the last image of 2011 to be him standing tall over Cena. Cena wants Miz to shut up and wash the tan off his body. Get a referee out here right now and let’s do it.

John Cena vs. The Miz

The fan that catches Cena’s shirt won’t throw it back. Good, he’d be stupid to do so. Cena controls early with a headlock and the fans are split on him. That’s a step up for him in Chicago. Miz heads to the floor and grabs a mic. The fans are chanting for the wrong person so he’s out of here. It’s a countout at 2:30, most of which happened during Miz ranting against Chicago.

Miz sets for his catchphrase and here’s R-Truth for the on the floor brawl. So I guess Truth is face again. He destroys Miz and says he could finish Miz right now, but there’s no fun in that. It’s like Christmas: once you open the presents, it’s all over. Every Monday Night should be like Christmas, so he’s going to take his time getting to Miz, because Little Jimmy says it’s ok. Truth hits him with a water bottle to end this.

Kane is officially here.

Big Show vs. David Otunga

Show must have an arm tied behind his back. It’s the right arm too so there’s no knockout punch or chokeslam. He’ll be at the relentless mercy of the offense of DAVID OTUNGA. Otunga gets sent to the floor and here’s Mark Henry. The match is officially thrown out at 2:00 despite Henry not touching him.

Henry clotheslines him down and here’s Bryan to distract show. He runs and Henry gets the arm loose. Otunga breaks up a chokeslam and takes it himself. Show officially wins by DQ. HENRY NEVER TOUCHED HIM!!!!

Here’s Del Rio but in a wheelchair. Ricardo, in a neckbrace, does the intro anyway. Jerry makes me laugh by giving us the information of the wheelchair, which is valued at about $200! Del Rio confirms the true rumor that he tore his groin last week. He says he’ll be back and here are the Bellas to berate the crowd. One of them says they’ll throw a party in his honor. It’s Nikki apparently. They get in an argument over who gets to throw the party so Alberto yells at them. He throws them out and blast it as they were looking good tonight. His New Year’s Resolution is that he’ll be champion again.

CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry

It’s a gauntlet match and if someone beats Punk, they get a title shot next week. If Punk sweeps it, he gets a match with Ace, presumably tonight. The opponents are in the order listed so Swagger is up first. Swagger hooks a test of strength but Punk stays on his head to keep from going down. Here come the kicks but Jack comes back with a gutbuster to take over.

Punk tries a cross body off the top but Swagger (almost) catches him in another gutbuster for two. At least he has a strategy. He sets for the Vader Bomb but Punk jumps up and catches him in the GTS position. That doesn’t work so Punk kicks him in the head for the pin at 3:27. Here’s Ziggler next but Swagger takes out the knee almost immediately before the bell.

Punk says he can go and we take a break. Back with Ziggler working on the knee. Sweet dropkick gets two for Dolph. Punk fights back with a slingshot and tries a neckbreaker but Dolph goes back to the leg. Off to a half crab which lasts awhile. Punk fights back and the knee isn’t hurting so much now.

Using the good leg he fires off some kicks to the back and a big kick to the head for two. Fameasser is blocked and there’s the running knee in the corner. Vickie breaks up the GTS and the Fameasser hits this time for two. Cue Johnny Ace who ejects Vickie and Swagger. This is happening while Punk has Ziggler covered. The distraction lets the Zig Zag end Punk at 13:27.

Rating: C+. This was the ending I expected actually. It seemed too easy to go the way it was looking. Ziggler vs. Punk could be awesome if they give it enough time, which they probably won’t. Decent stuff here though and it’s good to see Dolph getting a chance to headline a Raw as he’s earned so far.

Here’s Kane to end the show. He talks about how the mask is his real face and everyone else is hiding. Cue Cena but Kane throws up a wall of fire to stop him. Kane says Cena is his target because Cena preaches to rise above hate. This world is a dark place and people should hate. Everyone hates, so why rise above it? He says that there’s hatred in Cena but he’s hiding from it. There’s a Cena chant. In Chicago. Man that’s scary.

Kane talks about how Cena will be free once he embraces the hate. Now the chant is dueling so the world is more correct. The people are going to help Cena embrace his hate. The last thing Cena will hear is them chanting Cena sucks. Kane needs some lessons from the Spirit Squad because they don’t go along with Kane’s idea. There’s a mild dueling chant and Cena has to overact and make it seem like it was deafining. He hangs his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I wasn’t so huge on this show. There’s some ok stuff in here but the show felt like other than the beginning, there was a lot of stuff just thrown in there with no real thinking behind it. I liked the ending as we got a reasonable (by Kane’s standards) explanation of why he’s going after Cena. Dolph vs. Punk should be good and that’s what they’re shooting for here, which is ok. Not a terrible show but kind of weak.

Results
Booker T b. Cody Rhodes – Axe Kick
Zack Ryder/Eve Torres b. Tyson Kidd/Natalya – Rough Ryder to Kidd
John Cena b. The Miz via countout
Big Show b. David Otunga via DQ when Mark Henry interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. CM Punk – Zig Zag

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There are a bunch of options for this.But it’s pretty easily Cole in general.  If I had to specify something, it’s the overuse of Twitter.  If you look at the Survivor Series buyrate, it came in low.  Do you think that if maybe Rock had gotten something other than Cena’s Lady Parts trending it might have been better?  Like maybe, Survivor Series This Sunday?  That’s the problem with this Twitter obsession: they’re using it for the wrong things.  Who cares if Alicia Fox is trending?  She’s on TV for a minute a week.  Get something where it’s advertising a PPV or better yet, ADVERTISE THE FREAKING PPV.  I’ll stop there because I could go on for a week about this.

Your thoughts/picks?

Great American Bash 1999
Date: June 13, 1999
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,672
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

This isn’t intentionally after the other GAB reviews I was doing. It just turned out that way. This is one of the last shows under Nash’s time with the book and therefore, it’s technically ok but it’s not interesting at all for the most part. The main event is Nash vs. Savage for Nash’s title. Other than that it’s your run of the mill show of the last year WCW had any prayer of ever making a comeback to at least respectable. Let’s get to it.

Master P. and his group of guys, the No Limit Soldiers, arrive. Curt Hennig pops up and praises him, saying P is the king of rap. He asks for an autograph and P says sure, signing a CD for him. Hennig destroys it and the rap vs. country feud is on. You know, for a southern based company. Yeah, let’s make a rap group faces here and pay P over 200 grand per appearance, yes I said PER APPEARANCE, and expect him to be popular.

The opening video is about Nash vs. Savage, who have been terrorizing each other while Savage wears a big pink fur coat. Savage: “You’re a stupid person.” A lot of mud was slung, and I mean that literally. This was the thick of the Hummer Driver angle, where someone was driving a big white Hummer and trying to run people over with it. The driver was never officially revealed, but it was heavily implied to be one of about 5 people. You know, I spent a long time trying to figure out why WCW died, and the best answer I can give you is to watch the show and you’ll get it yourself.

The announcers actually recap the Hennig vs. Master P showdown. IT WAS THREE MINUTES AGO!!! They talk about Nash vs. Savage a bit.

Here’s a video on….well on almost every match on the card. Is there a reason they’re filling in time like this?

Now here’s a video just on Knobbs vs. Hak (Sandman) which is the opener. Knobbs has joined the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s lower card stable.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak

WCW tried a Hardcore Division but this is a kendo stick match, whatever that means. Is that…..is that……is that a cover of My Sharona that Knobbs is coming out to? Why in the world is he coming out to a cover of My Sharona? Brian says it’s Mrs. Nasty’s birthday today. I wonder if he’s going to take her to the Baltimore Science Museum and do science experiments with her. He wants this to be just a hardcore match. Hak comes out to what used to be Mongo’s music. He walks around the ring for awhile and wastes even more time.

Knobbs wants a hardcore match and the way to do that is to throw the weapons out. The opening bell is at 12:42 into the show. Knobbs hits Hak with a trashcan and then hits him with the lid of it. At least he’s complete with his assault. There’s a Pit Stop and Hak gets hit in the head again. He gets his feet up to kick a chair back into Knobbs’ face and momentum shifts. I would say the pendulum has swung but I’m not bringing Gorilla into this.

Here comes a ladder and it gets thrown at Knobbs from the floor. A slingshot legdrop hits the ladder but Knobbs sells it anyway. The leg gets put around Knobbs’ leg and hit with a chair. Knobbs sends him into the ladder. There isn’t going to be much more than this people. Then again, that’s all there needs to be here. Knobbs beats him down again and the fans chant for Hak.

Hak makes a comeback and tries a Swanton onto the ladder but Knobbs moves. Tony suggests a table and the fans want one as well. We don’t get one though as Hak throws him into a chair, which isn’t something you see every day. That and a shot from a kendo stick is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but the whole point of this was to get the crowd into things and these matches usually did that. Besides, it’s not like either of these guys are good for anything else but Knobbs is a Hoganite so they have to have something for him right? Nothing match but it was fine for what it was.

Hugh Morrus and Knobbs destroy Hak post match.

Buff Bagwell thanks Piper for giving him a big match (it’s against Disco Inferno) and says he’ll have Piper’s back in the match with Flair tonight for the presidency.

Van Hammer vs. Mikey Whipwreck

So Whipwreck was a crowd favorite in ECW so he came to WCW and did nothing. This resulted in him being mentioned in a booking meeting and Kevin Nash, the booker, not knowing who he was. Hammer was in the middle of a moderate push so he’ll be killing Mikey here. The announcers talk about who’s driving the Hummer to kill time because this match is going to be very boring.

Hammer beats on Mikey whose speed moves aren’t working at all. He tries a monkey flip but Hammer grabs him by the head and slams him off the top. The fans chant boring and I can’t exactly disagree. A delayed vertical suplex gets NO pop. You can tell that a match is dull when a move which is an incredible power display like that just quiets the crowd.

Time for an abdominal stretch. This was the only match not advertised in the opening montage. If that surprises you, it shouldn’t. Out to the floor and Mikey gets dropped onto the barricade. A dive to the floor keeps Mikey down. Back in Whipwreck comes off the top for two. And then he jumps into a release spinebuster and a cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Why in the world was this on PPV? Van Hammer got a push around this time but it went nowhere because Rick Steiner destroyed him at Bash at the Beach. Whipwreck would be back in ECW later in the year along with Sandman, which they probably never should have left in the first place. However, how can you turn down the huge money?

Buff Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno

….why? What did I ever do to WCW? I watched Nitro through 2000. Why are they doing this to me? Disco starts off with a neckbreaker so Bagwell hits the floor. Basic stuff to start here as Disco dances after every move he hits. Disco is the evil one here. Buff loads up the Blockbuster but Disco hits the floor. This is a rematch from Nitro which Bagwell won. Then why is it happening again?

They stall even more and work on the arm until Disco speeds things up and hits a clothesline to take over. Surprising amount of offense here from him. Disco goes up top and dances before hitting a middle rope elbow for two. He tries it again but Buff moves and takes over. Bagwell loads up the Blockbuster but Disco knocks him to the floor. Stunner (Last Dance, Disco’s finisher) hits on the floor but he doesn’t throw Buff back in. The Macarena Piledriver (exactly what it sounds like) is countered and Buff hammers him down. Blockbuster ends this clean.

Rating: D. Technically this was fine, but why in the world was this on PPV? It has to do with Piper giving the young guys a chance, but it’s not like that means anything for reasons you’ll see later on. Also, Bagwell is FAR better as a face than as a heel. He has some solid natural charisma, but they turned him heel so many times that it stopped meaning anything at all.

Recap of the Rednecks vs. the Rap Guys. It’s your standard culture clash feud and since it’s WCW, they missed the point of being a southern company and country being popular because they’re not that smart.

DJ Ran, a DJ who would shout and ask where the loudest section of the arena was, shouts and asks where the loudest section of the arena is. He brings out Master P and his No Limit Soldiers.

Konnan/Rey Mysterio vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.

Here’s another brilliant WCW moment for you: the Rednecks (officially named the West Texas Rednecks) had a song they performed themselves called Rap Is Crap. Being a southern company, it actually got on a few radio stations in Dixie and was requested a few times. Cool, free publicity right?

Now a smart company would release it as a single, maybe make a few dollars and possibly turn the Rednecks face right? Well since it’s WCW, they sent the radio stations cease and desist letters for using their material without permission. Vince may be crazy and not get it a lot of the time, but you know he’s know how to capitalize on something like that.

Anyway, Rey is Cruiserweight Champion and he and Konnan come out in gas masks. Konnan and Rey clear the ring quickly and Master P slaps Hennig in the back of the head. Konnan and Duncum start us off and it’s off to Rey quickly. He speeds things up but jumps into a backbreaker. Powerbomb brings in Hennig. Rey gets beaten down and I think we’re already into the middle of the match.

Konnan tries to come in but it allows for double teaming on the outside. Rey goes into the barricade and is in trouble. We keep looking at Master P to try desperately to validate paying him. SWEET standing dropkick takes Rey down. After a long beating, Konnan comes in but the referee missed the tag. The beating continues and Rey tries an Asai moonsault which doesn’t work.

Rey finally takes the leg out and there’s the tag to Konnan. Things break down and Hennig messes something up in the corner. I think it was miscommunication or something but it wasn’t all that bad. Bronco Buster hits him (called the Rough Rider here) and Konnan is down on the floor. Barry Windham runs out but one of the No Limit Soldiers runs in and hits Duncum for the pin for Rey.

Rating: C-. Again technically fine, but it would set up more of this feud later. Again though, they had no idea what the face/heel dynamic was supposed to be here and it didn’t really work at all. The match itself was ok, but I’m still not sure why this was on PPV. I’ve watched a little over an hour of this show and nothing at all has jumped out as being anything beyond a Nitro match.

Big pullapart brawl follows and security (one of them being future Natural Born Thriller Reno) breaks it up. Rey gets hogtied in the ring.

Ernest Miller vs. Scott Norton

This isn’t even good enough for Nitro. Apparently it is as this is the fourth or fifth match in a feud. Norton won a bunch to start and then Miller hit him with a crowbar to get the win. And never mind as for some reason, Horace Freaking Hogan comes out and says that since Cat (Miller) hit him on Monday also, Horace, who is in the NWO, gets the shot.

Ernest Miller vs. Horace Hogan

Yes, this match is actually happening. Horace is Hogan’s nephew and a decent looking power guy. He takes over to start but Miller gets in a kick to the face to take over. Now he stands around. Horace gets sent to the floor and Sonny Onoo kicks him a few times. The crowd is DEAD. Horace takes him down with a big boot and a splash gets two. Miller gets dumped to the floor where Onoo loads up the red shoe out of a briefcase. A superkick with it ends this.

Rating: F. Horace Hogan was on a PPV. I don’t think I need to explain why this is a failure.

We’re an hour and twenty minutes into this show and the best match has been the tag match which wasn’t even good enough to be a midcard match on a house show.

We recap Flair vs. Piper which is for the Presidency of the Company. Flair ran the company but the power went to his head so somehow Piper got a match for control of the company. They had this match last month and in some big mess, Piper got control. Even the Horsemen turned on Flair during this.

Ric Flair vs. Roddy Piper

Flair has Anderson and Asya with him. She’s a big bodybuilder and freakish looking and spells her name with a Y instead of an A. Get the joke? They trade chops in the corner and Flair is in trouble early. Piper pounds him down in the corner using his old man punches. Flair Flop and here are more chops. Randy Anderson (referee) blocks a punch and Flair still can’t take over.

Flair bails to the floor and this is going nowhere. Piper punches him down again but a low blow stops him. Arn cheats on the floor and there’s another low blow. Flair’s trunks get pulled down which Tony calls memorable. I call it old hat. Flair gets slammed off the top and Arn gets decked on the floor. A pretty bad looking sunset flip gets two. Off to a sleeper but Flair shoves him off. He pulls out a foreign object and down goes Piper. It gets two and here’s the Figure Four with Arn helping. Cue Bagwell for the save and Flair wins by DQ to become president again.

Rating: D-. Awful match as you would expect from two guys who are combined about 9,000 years old. No idea why they thought these two were the right idea instead of, I don’t know, having Bagwell and someone else as a surrogate for both guys to put the focus on them. That would make sense though and might get someone new up the card and we can’t have that.

Bagwell beats up Flair until Piper turns on him and sides with Flair and Anderson. Piper would become Vice President out of all this.

DJ Ran yells some more. Seriously, why does this guy exist?

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Sting. Tank Abbott is involved in this somehow. They had a cage match and Sting got beaten down by both guys.

Rick Steiner vs. Sting

Steiner is TV Champion and I have no idea if this is for the title or not. Nope it’s non-title. Also it’s No DQ and Falls Count Anywhere. This is new apparently. The interesting thing to do in Steiner matches here are to see how long he’ll actually sell a move for. If it’s over two seconds, he’s feeling generous. Steiner pounds him down but Sting comes back with a dropkick as they go to the floor.

Steiner hammers him some more, this time with a chair. They throw drinks at each other and Sting misses the Splash against the railing as is his custom. Piledriver on the floor gets two. Release German gets two back in the ring. Sting fights back and hits a Vader Bomb. The crowd is DEAD. Big top rope splash gets almost no reaction for two. And since Steiner has done enough, here’s a rest hold. Sting escapes and hits the Splash in the corner. There’s another and Sting hooks the Deathlock but Steiner goes to the ropes.

They head to the floor and it’s all about to fall apart. They fight up to the web location and into the back. The booing commences and Tank Abbott pops up with a towel to choke Sting. And here’s Scott Steiner RELEASING DOEBERMANS AND A ROTTEWEILER ON STING. The camera goes all weird like it’s in a bad horror movie. The dogs jump Sting and this is clearly edited because Scott Steiner is in a different place than he was about two seconds earlier.

Rating: Agoobwa. Yeah, I had to bust that out again. We just saw badly edited footage of dogs attacking Sting. My goodness. This company DESERVED to die. By the way, if you’ve ever been curious as to what I mean when I say something insults my intelligence as a wrestling fan, this is a fine example.

The Steiners come out and demand the referee declare Rick the winner. Whatever man. Oh and they’re both NWO. Great.

We recap the tag title situation. Bigelow/Page beat up Saturn/Raven, the tag champions. Kanyon had to replace Raven but got beaten down also. Page and Bigelow won the belts with ease. Flair, crooked and insane, offered to hook up with Benoit to win the titles. Flair walked out on him and Saturn came out to replace him and they won the titles in a rematch on Thursday. Kanyon joined Page/Bigelow and tonight the Triad gets their rematch.

That’s such backwards booking it makes my head hurt. I’m going to spoil this for you: the Triad gets the titles back here. This takes away the surprise of the match tonight. Now it’s 3-2 against the champions so they’re already against big odds. Instead of having Kanyon join them here where they win the titles, we blow the surprise early and make things less surprising an entertaining as a result. Nice job WCW.

Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Perry and Chris come out to Malenko’s music for some reason. We’re told Sting is fine from the BIG DOG ATTACK. Benoit vs. Kanyon gets us going. Chris clears the ring and the partners both get tags. The champs clear the ring again but go after Bigelow to let Team Jersey take over. The champs hit almost stereo belly to belly overheads to get control back and it’s officially Page vs. Benoit now.

Page beats him down and it’s off to Kanyon who goes to the middle rope, puts his leg on Benoit’s head, and drives him down with a Fameasser for two. Back to Page and Benoit gets a single suplex for two. Page tries the Helicopter Bomb but it’s more like a regular one instead. A Kanyon moonsault misses and here’s Saturn. He cleans house and hits a frog splash on Kanyon for two.

Saturn gets beaten down again by some good old fashioned double teaming. He tries a sunset flip but Kanyon makes a blind tag and grabs the head of Saturn, exposing Saturn’s back. Page comes in and decks him to take over. Kanyon was freaking smart in the ring man. The beating continues for awhile but Page misses a dive and crotches himself on the top buckle.

That allows for a double tag to bring in Kanyon and Benoit with the crazy Canadian going cracy on the challengers. Kanyon REALLY loudly calls for a suplex where he lands behind Benoit and he does just that. He gets rammed into Bigelow though and Rolling Germans get two. A dragon suplex gets a VERY close two. Benoit hits the Swan Dive as Saturn kind of falls off the top into a Diamond Cutter. Cue Malenko who pulls Saturn out for some reason. Crossface to Kanyon but here’s Bigelow to help with an elevated Cutter and the Triad wins the titles.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the rematch where the Triad could trade in and out next month at the Bash at the Beach was a much better match. Still though, this was so far and away a better match than anything else all night that I’d rather watch it a dozen times than anything else here. Not bad, but they’ve had better matches.

We recap Nash vs. Savage. Savage snapped and painted Nash’s face with lipstick and makeup. Then there was the Hummer Driver ordeal and a bunch of mud. The Hummer Driver is here with Savage tonight.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Randy Savage

Savage has three blondes with him: real life girlfriend Gorgeous George, Madusa and Miss Madness (Molly Holly). The big elbow has been unbanned. Well that’s good to know. Nash’s ribs are messed up. The champ (Nash) hammers him down and hooks the side slam but can’t follow up. Savage goes after the ribs and things slow WAY down. Savage was just a name at this point and wasn’t anywhere near his usual self in the ring.

If you weren’t paying attention, this is very dull stuff. It’s just Savage hitting him in the ribs to soften them up for an elbow attempt later. The girls keep cheating, including a missile dropkick from Molly. The elbow hits but it only gets two, mainly because we’re like 3 minutes into the match. Nash comes back with Snake Eyes and the big boot. Jackknife hits and the girls run in but it isn’t a DQ somehow. Then SID FREAKING VICIOUS returns from not being seen in mainstream wrestling in almost two years (he was in ECW for like 2 sips of coffee but I wouldn’t call that mainstream) to beat up Nash for the DQ.

Rating: F. If this was the main event of a show, I’d ask for my money back even if I didn’t pay a dime to get in, which was a common occurrence for a lot of the fans at this time. The Sid run-in was a legit shocker, but getting to that point was just dreadful. I have no idea who thought this was a good idea, but what do I know?

Overall Rating: -F. As in we’ve gone so low that we’ve went past Z into negative letters. This was HORRIBLE and easily one of the worst PPVs I’ve ever seen. Not only did the main event suck, the best match is just ok and ran longer than it needed to. Plus, the dogs man. That ranks right up there with the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Combining that with guys like Van Hammer and Brian Knobbs being on PPV and how in the world could this be anything but horrible?a

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The common sense answer would be Cena vs. Rock or Punk.  I’ve never been one for common sense though.I’m going with Christian vs. Orton.  They never stopped having good matches and the feud naturally progressed very well.  You would see them building on sequences throughout the series of matches, such as the dive out of the corner by Christian being caught in an RKO.  That turned into a fake in the second match, then Orton faked Christian by waiting with the RKO again.  That’s thinking and calling back to previous matches, which is very rare today.  I loved this feud and the blowoff was great.  Feud of the year to me.

Your thoughts/picks?

Hope you and your loved ones have a Happy Christmas full of good food, good times with family and presents.  I’ll be at my uncle’s place tomorrow so the reviews will be a bit slow until Monday, but I might be able to get one up tomorrow.

Merry Christmas!

More options than I thought here.I’ll take Rock’s return.  The rumor for the guest host was Justin Bieber and then they had the legs get out.  I was skeptical when I saw them because I thought it would still be someone else, but I didn’t predict Rock.  That was awesome and a great thing to see.  And for those of you that still think it, no he didn’t abandon us in the first place.

Your picks/thoughts?

Smackdown
Date: December 23, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We have a new world champion here (can’t say Heavyweight at the moment) and it’s Daniel Bryan. He cashed in his MITB case on Sunday after Big Show slayed the giant (no pun intended) and won the title. I’m not sure where they go from here because Bryan isn’t someone that could credibly beat either of those guys. Still though it should be interesting to see where they go from here. Expect a potential throwaway show like Monday though. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a DVD burner that keeps skipping.

Here’s Big Show to open the show. He talks about how he should be world champion here. Show says he worked 9 years to get back to the world title and he finally got there. On Sunday he beat the only man that has ever been able to throw him around the ring. Show has a lot of mixed emotions such as disappointment, anger, shock and he’s conflicted. He’s not having a good day. We get a clip from Monday where Josh pointed out that Show has the shortest reign in history. The long stare at Josh was great.

Show says he’s proud of himself for not going over the edge. He wants to give us his honest feelings but here’s Henry. Henry wants to know why Show is proud. He says that’ll be on Show’s tombstone. Henry says Show should be embarrassed and humiliated. Show should take a week off then quit. Maybe he can get a job working as Santa. Henry is here to demand his rematch. Why would he get one? Show questions that too and here’s Bryan. There’s Tebow reference #1 during his entrance.

Booker says Bryan is officially back in the Fave Five. Bryan says no one in the arena, not even him, believes he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. He says he’s not the biggest, tallest, strongest, fastest, or most attractive. Nothing about him screams WWE Superstar but he’s a great wrestler. Despite all the things he’s not, he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

Henry says he’s beaten Bryan up every time they’ve fought and he wants his title match tonight. Show says he beat Henry so he should get the shot. The big guys get ready to fight and here’s Teddy. They’ll have a #1 contenders match tonight. No time is given for when the world title match would take place. Show shakes Bryan’s hand. Bryan offers a handshake to Henry who eventually goes to shake but Bryan pulls it away. Kind of a jerk no?

Cody Rhodes vs. Zack Ryder

Non-title here. Cody grabs the arm to start and Cole is talking about mood rings. He’s all over Booker here and it’s getting old fast. Zack uses some armdrags and hooks an armbar. Cody knocks him to the floor and rams Ryder into Booker. Booker glares at him as we take a break. Back with Cody hitting the Alabama Slam for two. Ryder starts a brief comeback but a cross body hits the ropes, getting two for Cody.

Zack puts the brakes on in the corner and they ram heads. Back up and Ryder takes over to a nice reaction to the crowd. A running forearm in the corner sets up the Broski Boot for two. A middle rope dropkick misses and Booker grabs the mic. He leads the audience in a song about Cody the Red Nosed Reindeer. The distraction lets the Rough Ryder get the pin at 6:23 shown of 9:53.

Rating: C. The match was fine but apparently they’re continuing the Booker vs. Cody feud. That’s fine as Cody beat Booker up before the match so it wasn’t exactly a clean victory. Not bad and it wasn’t really meant to be anything significant. Also it’s good that it wasn’t a clean win over either guy as they need to keep both of these guys looking strong.

Santino comes into Teddy’s office and suggests he should be the new assistant to Teddy due to Zack being champion now. Aksana comes in and sexual innuendo is made about her being the assistant. She and Santino leave so Vickie and Dolph come in. Vickie says everything aligned and Zack got lucky. Dolph says the same thing happened for Bryan to win the title. He asks for a match with Bryan tonight and Teddy sounds happy with it. Vickie says Bah Humbug to Teddy for some reason.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Earlier in the show than I expected. And here’s David Otunga before the bell rings. He works for Johnny Ace and Ace is in charge of all WWE talent. Henry isn’t medically cleared to wrestle tonight so there’s no match. He wishes everyone a happy and healthy holiday (booed) and turns around into the WMD. He sold it really well too. The replay made it look even better. Show DRILLED him.

Teddy is walking in the back when Miz comes up. He asks Teddy what he’s doing tonight. Miz was told to be here tonight but Teddy says that wasn’t from his office. Miz says that’s more proof that Johnny Ace is running circles around him. Here’s a very telling stat for you: since he won the WWE Title, no Smackdown star has been in a main event of a PPV. I looked it up and it’s even longer than that. The last time it happened (excluding the Rumble) was Hell in a Cell 2010, or a streak of 16 PPVs in a row. Miz says he’s going to stop the show and not let a match happen. Teddy says we’ll see about that.

After a break Miz is in the ring. He isn’t surprised Teddy couldn’t find anyone to face him and shows clips of him hurting Truth and Morrison. He says all of the Smackdown locker room is full of cowards. There’s no star on Smackdown who shines brighter than the rest like he does. He’s the one on Conan and on the top rated radio show on Sirius XM. He also has an opponent who interrupts him.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Miz tries to go toe to toe with him for some reason as Cole compares their mainstream appeal. Miz sends him into the post for two. He “hits” a running boot to the face and a DDT for two. It’s been mostly Miz for the majority of this. He takes forever coming out of the corner though and runs into a double axe from Sheamus to shift control. Miz escapes the Celtic Cross and kicks Sheamus in the arm he’s been holding. The Finale is escaped and the Brogue Kick kills Miz dead at 3:03.

Rating: C-. Miz looked a lot more dominant than he usually does here which was surprising. The match was nothing special and I’m kind of surprised they would have Miz lose clean that fast. Sheamus would seem to be the next guy in line for a title shot but we have to get the required return matches out of the way first.

Here’s Barrett for some chatter. He says nothing can stop the Barrett Barrage and we get a recap of the Barrett vs. Orton feud on the Tron. Barrett thinks his dominance of Orton puts him in line for a title shot. He wishes us a happy Christmas and goes to leave but here’s Orton and it’s on in the aisle. Orton slides him into the ring and tries an RKO but Barrett runs.

Randy chases him into the back and the fight continues there. Barrett kicks him in the ribs and tries to run again and they fight to a bicycle rack. Orton then….sprays Barrett with a gardening hose. Well at least that’s not it as he sends him into a table of bottled water and pours trash on him. They go to the cars now and it’s an RKO onto the top of one. The sound of that was great.

Same Second Coming video from Monday. I’m legit curious as to who it is.

Primo vs. Kofi Kingston

Primo immediately jumps him and Cole thinks the cousins have Air Boom’s number. I have a feeling they’ll be doing the whole “lose lose lose then win one match” road to the titles for them, which is horrible but common in WWE today. Primo controls and sweeps the leg to get Kofi down. Kofi ducks a charge and takes over as things speed up. The springboard cross body gets two. Rosa and Epico distract Kofi, allowing Primo to hit a top rope armdrag. And there’s Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: C-. Decent enough match but I’m really not looking forward to the seemingly inevitable new champions, mainly because they’re a very boring gimmick. The Mexican team is something that can only go so far and the Colons are proof of that. Nothing to see here but Kofi made it decent enough.

Music video recapping TLC and Raw with the new champions celebrating.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan

They have a TON of time. They go to the mat but Ziggler is very skilled there too so Bryan gets out of it. Booker and Cole get into their usual pattern of bickering until Josh gets things back under control. Bryan takes him to the mat and hooks a full surfboard. That move always impresses me. A dropkick misses and Dolph takes over. Ziggler does the situps thing but Bryan tries a LeBell Lock. Ziggler gets to the ropes and drop toe holds the champ into the middle buckle. Bryan is down as we take a break.

Back with Dolph taking Bryan down again via a dropkick. After a quick chinlock they collide in the middle and both guys are down. Here’s Swagger as Bryan sends Ziggler to the floor. The flying shove takes Dolph down but Swagger runs Bryan over. Now here’s Big Show who stalks Swagger. Ziggler grabs a sleeper but Bryan counters into a German for two. Here are the kicks and a BIG one to the head takes Dolph down for two. They go up to the corner and Bryan hits a top rope rana which Ziggler rolls through into a sunset flip for two. Fameasser gets two.

They go to the corner again and Ziggler gets crotched into a belly to back superplex for two. This is getting really good. Swagger jumps Big Show and they go into the ring. And here’s Teddy to make it a tag match. SCREW THAT! I’m really getting tired of these tag match main events. We had a good match going here and now we get ANOTHER tag match instead. The match ran about 12:20 in total, counting commercial.

Rating: B. This really did make me mad. I was getting into their match but we have to get Big Show and Swagger in on this. And for WHAT? What reason does Swagger have to jump Show there other than the script calls for it? I guess the idea of having the world champion and one of the only interesting heels having a great match isn’t what this company looks for right? We want pointless tags!

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Big Show/Daniel Bryan

We join this in progress as Show takes Swagger to the mat. Off to Ziggler who gets caught in the corner and pounded on. After Show beats him down, here’s Bryan to pick the bones. He misses a corner charge and lands on the back of his head. Back to Swagger who hits a Vader Bomb for two. The Double G Connection works on the leg and then it’s time for the sleeper. That gets countered quickly and there’s the tag to Show as well as Swagger. Swagger counters a chokeslam and takes out the knee. Bryan makes a blind tag and rolls through the ankle lock into the LeBell Lock for the tap at 6:54.

Rating: C. This match ticked me off. For one thing, Bryan looks like he can’t beat Ziggler without Show. I mean Heaven forbid a face gets a clean win over a heel right? Here’s my gripe with this in general: who does this benefit? Bryan can go toe to toe with Dolph and can beat Swagger, which we knew coming in. Swagger doesn’t win much, which we knew coming in. Ziggler can go toe to toe with Bryan, which we knew coming in. Show is dominant, which we knew coming in. Instead of giving us something new and conclusive, it’s like they punted and played it safe, which is annoying when we had a good match going.

Bryan celebrates with the belt and Show doesn’t look all that pleased.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a bad show and less of a throwaway one before the ending. I know I’m harping on that a lot but it really ticked me off. What’s the point in doing that? Ok I’ll drop it now because the rest of the show was pretty good. Nothing great, but there was nothing to complain about until the end. This show went by fast too, which was a good thing. Pretty good show until the annoying main event.

Results
Zack Ryder b. Cody Rhodes – Rough Ryder
Sheamus b. Miz – Brogue Kick
Kofi Kingston b. Primo – Trouble in Paradise
Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan went to a no contest
Big Show/Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – LeBell Lock to Swagger

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Clash of the Champions 11: Coastal Crush
Date: June 13, 1990
Location: McAlister Field House, Charleston, South, Carolina
Attendance: 4,100
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is right before the Great American Bash which is where Sting grabbed thr brass ring and got his first world title. The main event is Junkyard Dog vs. Flair and I have no idea why. Anyway, this is mainly a nothing show, but we also get some Steiners vs. Doom awesomeness so I can’t complain there. Let’s get to it.

The Southern Boys say they’re ready for the Freebirds.

The Birds respond by singing their own theme music.

Southern Boys vs. Freebirds

This is the Southern Boys’ (Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers) national debut. The Birds jump them which doesn’t work out all that well for them. Smothers and Garvin officially start us off. Smothers gets beaten down in the corner but breaks through and draws the Birds in for Steve to hit a top rope cross body to take them both out. Things settle down a bit and Garvin takes over on Armstrong.

Back to Hayes who works over the arm. This is a pretty basic match so far but nothing has been all that bad. Elbow gets two for Hayes and it’s back to the arm. The arena they’re in is on the campus on the Citadel whose coach won some award the day of this show so it’s nice timing. In other words, there’s not much to talk about here so I’m repeating what JR says. Armstrong finally breaks through to make a tag to Smothers and he cleans house. Everything breaks down and Garvin covers Smothers but Steve comes off the top with a flying headbutt and puts Tracy on top for the big upset.

Rating: C+. Great example here of what you do to start a show. They had a fast paced match with a hot ending and that’s all you need to do to start a show. I enjoyed it, even though there wasn’t much to it. That being said, at times that’s all you need to do and it was a very fine opener.

Tommy Rich vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow looks strange sleeveless. Rich hammers away to start but runs into the size and power game. Tommy, who used to be world champion while Bigelow never war, works on the arm and gets a rollup for one. Bam Bam just goes off, tossing Rich all over the place and then choking past five for the DQ. Bigelow wasn’t in WCW long if I remember right.

Rating: D-. This was pretty much nothing but a way for Bigelow to look dominant. I don’t remember him in 1990 at all and I know he wasn’t on most of the PPVs later in the year at all. I’ve checked and this and Capital Combat were the only two major shows he was on all year. It was an NWA/Japan thing so he went to Japan for good for a few years until he went back to the WWF in late 92.

A man is coming. His name is Vader. He’ll debut at the Bash.

This guy will be as well: El Gigante. He has an interview with Gary Michael Capetta of all people. It’s in Spanish because Gigante can’t speak much English. I speak enough Spanish to understand it but thankfully they translate it.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Mike Rotunda/Z-Man

Rotunda is Captain Mike here which is post Varsity Club for him. The Swat Team is Fatu and Samoan Savage, who is better known as Tama from the Islanders. Rotunda vs. Fatu gets us going and the Samoan is knocked to the floor. Off to Z-Man who dropkicks Fatu to the floor again. Back to Rotundo who gets a cross body for two. The Samoans cheat to take over. Oddly enough they don’t have a manager which is rare for the wild savages.

Rotunda gets caught and beaten down. By the way, changing the last letter of his name is intentional. You’ll hear it as either depending on what year it is. Nerve hold goes on and Bob Caudle says it’s like hitting a mule in the head with a 2×4. Can someone call PETA? Rotundo gets beaten down on the floor but comes back with a double clothesline to take over. Z-Man comes in and misses most of the kicks that are sold anyway. Savage hits a Vader Bomb but the faces switch (WHAT?) and Rotunda steals a small package win.

Rating: D+. I’m in awe over that ending. One: Rotunda has shorter hair. Two: He’s in black, Z-Man was in white. Three: They don’t look alike. Four: FATU LOOKED STRAIGHT AT HIM FOR THREE SECONDS. The match was ok other than that though, and it was fine for the spot it had on here which was just a five and a half minute filler.

Video on Mean Mark.

Mean Mark vs. Brian Pillman

For those of you unfamiliar with Mark, I’ll save his reveal to the end of the match. Mark has Dangerously with him and jumps Pillman to start. He’s a big monster and that’s about the extent of his character. Oh and he’s mean. Pillman tries to use speed but Mark just kicks him down like he’s nothing. Crucifix doesn’t work at all and Mark stomps away. Off to a chinlock and Mark is so new he can’t even do that right. An elbow in the corner misses but Brian can’t get anything going. Mark knocks him to the apron but he skins the cat and hits a missile dropkick. And then they botch the ending off an Irish whip so Mark hot shots him for the pin.

Rating: D. Boring match here but it set up Mark for his US Title shot at the Bash. His finisher was the Heart Punch which is exactly what it sounds like. Mark would only appear like 5 times in the NWA before his final appearance at the Bash. He would be in the WWF in November as an unhurtable monster called Kane. That was just his first name. His occupation was an undertaker. He soon dropped the first name and just went by his job title.

US Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

The Midnights have the belts. That Midnight song is just AWESOME. Eaton vs. Gibson to get us started. These two teams probably wrestled about a thousand times so they’ll have a decent match just by muscle memory. The problem here is that they’re getting old which makes that a little bit harder. They spend a few minutes working on getting to a lockup. Off to Lane who does a little better with his kicks.

Gibson kicks him in the head to knock him back down. Off to Morton and my goodness the hair gel bills in this match could bankrupt a small country. These two are called the cream of the crop by JR and I can’t say I agree. They’re moving fast here but somehow it’s still in first gear. Nothing here is anything interesting at all. Morton finally gets a rana to speed things up but the Midnights have a meeting instead of keeping things going.

Off to Eaton but Morton escapes the corner again and grabs the arm again. The Midnights can’t get anything going here. Morton tries another armdrag but Bobby punches him down to finally give the Midnights the advantage. Morton counters a superplex in mid-air but Lane breaks up a rollup. Everything breaks down and the challengers hit stereo rollups for stereo twos.

Things slow down again and Eaton hits a suplex to Morton before bringing Lane back in. Off to Eaton quickly but he misses a charge in the corner and Gibson comes in for probably the last tag of the match for his team. Morton and Eaton go to the floor as Gibson goes after the legs. Off to a sleeper instead but Bobby breaks it up which gets two for Eaton. Everything breaks down again and the double dropkick takes Eaton down. Lane breaks the cover up….and that’s a DQ. Seriously?

Rating: C. This was one of the weakest Express Collisions I’ve seen in a very long time. Granted it probably had a lot to do with them getting later into their mainstream careers. Not much to see here but the Midnights would lose the titles soon and they would be retired before too long, which was probably the right idea.

Doug Furnas vs. Barry Windham

Furnas is billed as the World’s Strongest Man. Windham is a Horseman. Furnas runs Barry down and JR is talking about football. Sunset flip gets two for Doug and Barry bails. Furnas kind of botches a backflip off the top and doesn’t quite get Barry up for a gorilla press. Clothesline gets two. Barry gets his knee up and takes Doug’s head off with a clothesline. JR can’t stop praising Furnas to get on to the match. Powerslam gets two for Furnas. They hit the ropes for a bit and Barry grabs a belly to back and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent power match here but nothing too great. Furnas went to Japan soon after this so he didn’t mean all that much. Windham was a Horseman for a few more years but mainly did tag team stuff. He has a really forgettable career around this time actually. Not much here but it was ok.

Sid (after being told to go by the director) says he’ll take out Luger.

Lex Luger vs. Sid Vicious

Sid jumps him to start and but Lex hits a clothesline and pins him in like 20 seconds.

World Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Doom

The Steiners had been unstoppable but Doom had shocked the world and won the titles at a PPV called Capital Combat. Doom has the old Ron Simmons’ music which is still awesome. The masks are gone too. Ron vs. Scott gets us going. Scott busts out something I’ve never seen before: a floatover fallaway slam. It isn’t really falling away either as he doesn’t let go. Both Doomers take one and the ring is cleared.

A Steiner Line to the back of the head puts Simmons down and it’s off to Reed. Scott throws him around too. I can easily see why they were thinking he was the heir apparent to the world title here. You know, except for the whole Sting guy. Rick comes in now but Nick Patrick gets in the way and Ron gets in a right hand. Rick is like cool man and hits a belly to belly to send Ron flying.

Now it’s Rick’s turn to beat up Doom on his own. Reed FINALLY goes to the eyes to take over. They go back to the Doom corner and Rick fights back out of it with ease. On the floor Doom gets it together and takes Rick down via a clothesline. Simmons beats on Rick back inside and you can really tell that Doom isn’t that experienced yet. While Scott is with the referee Rick gets tossed to the floor. Reed comes in and drops a middle rope elbow for two.

Reed misses a running knee into the corner and Rick hits a double axe off the middle rope. Back to Scott and things speed way up again. Everything breaks down and Teddy throws in a foreign object. Scott takes Simmons down with a superplex but Reed clocks him with the object. Rick covers Simmons at the same time and it’s a double pin, but Scott was legal so Doom wins it.

Rating: C. These two could have good matches every time they went out there and this worked well enough. Doom would hold the titles longer than any team in the history of WCW, now losing them until February of the next year to the Freebirds who lost them to the Steiners before they won them from Doom. And yes that’s accurate.

JYD says he’ll win.

Paul Orndorff says he’ll beat Anderson.

Paul Orndorff vs. Arn Anderson

I don’t remember Orndorff around this time at all. He’s a face and Anderson is by definition a Horseman. Anderson is TV Champion but this is non-title. Slow start with Paul working on a headlock. Make that a sleeper. Now it’s a figure four. You know that’s going to get a pop in the south. After the leg is slammed into the post, Anderson hooks the spinebuster to break the momentum.

Orndorff gets a sunset flip and pulls the trunks down which thankfully is on a different camera side. Off to an abdominal stretch. Arn finally gets caught grabbing the ropes and we go to a chinlock instead. Orndorff comes back with punches and things speed up a bit. It’s still not all that interesting though. Anderson gets the knees up but Orndorff reverses a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a dull match here but I’ve never liked Orndoff’s stuff at all. Well his stuff with Hogan was good but his WCW stuff always bored me. I think it’s more that he had one incredible feud and that was about it for him. Boring match and Orndorff never got the title I don’t think.

The Horsemen say that they’ll win the main event tonight and Flair will keep the title. This was pretty rambling though.

NWA World Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Ric Flair

JYD gets a full jazz band intro. He takes Flair down with a right hand and is trying to keep this basic, which is probably smart for someone of his intellect. There the on all fours headbutt. A punch puts Flair on the ramp and we get a Flair Flop. Back in a few chops are no sold. A punch in the corner gets the same result. Now a knee drop is no sold. Ok we get it: he has a hard head.

Now they stand around for awhile because that’s been done a few times already in this match, so let’s do it again. Dog punches him again and there’s Flair Flop #2. Ole distracts the referee so Flair hits JYD in the head with a chair. Guess how much it’s sold. The answer would be NONE. Flair jumps into a punch and this is really quite bad. Flair hits a knee to the back…and then gets slammed off the top. He pounds away and the Horsemen run in for the DQ.

Rating: F+. This was just bad. I have no idea what the point in making JYD look so strong was but it didn’t really work at all. Flair didn’t get anything more than a few chops here and there and it made him look awful. This didn’t work at all and the champ looked like a joke. He would lose the title in a few weeks, but man at least make him look strong beforehand.

Sting and his boys clear the ring and Sting stalks Flair to the back.

After a break, Rocky King yells about the Horsemen. Thankfully someone intelligent sounding (Sting) talks quickly and says he wants Flair. Their title match hadn’t been announced yet. He suggests the Bash for the shot and says he’ll beg if he has to. The Horsemen come back and it winds up being Sting vs. Flair in the ring as everyone else is held back. Sting pounds on Flair as the credits roll.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best show ever but I’ve seen a lot worse. The problem is that the wrestling is ok, but it’s not really interesting. You had a bunch of matches on here that ran about five minutes and that really isn’t enough to get some interest going for things. This didn’t really set up the Bash. Almost all of these people were on the PPV but their matches weren’t announced here. Not much to see but it’s nothing horrible.

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Not what you might expect.I’m actually going with Cena’s rap against the Rock.  This did a few things.  First and foremost, it made people laugh.  This was a hilarious promo with great jokes and even some visuals like the pinwheel.  Second, it showed that Cena could indeed hang with Rock on the mic.  He got destroyed in Rock’s promo but then came back and to me, exceeded him.  The most important thing though is that it set the stage for the whole feud.  We have a guy that is loud, making childish jokes and talking in a way he doesn’t look compatable with, and then we have John Cena.  Cena has outclassed Rock the whole time in this and it hasn’t been close, at least not to me.

Your thoughts/picks?