Impact Wrestling
Date: December 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back with week #2 of the wild card tournament but at least now we know who almost all of the wacky partners are. The show last week was pretty ok so hopefully they crank it up a bit more this week as the year comes to a close. We’ve got I think three more Impacts before the PPV where it’s pretty likely that Jeff gets the title back. Oh and the Jarretts are gone at the moment. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps last week which is the norm now.

Here are Roode and Ray to open the show. Roode is in a suit and to be fair, he’s rocking that thing. He says he loves Christmas and the fans can all thank him for the gifts they got last week. Sting and Hardy getting beaten up was great and all they needed were bows on them. Ray talks about how giving he is: he gives chicken bones to the homeless, he gives dollars to strippers and he gives whiskey to his cat.

Roode talks about learning that every action has a consequence. Lately he’s learned that he’s probably on the naughty lists of both Sting and Santa. He asks Sting to come out here and get his suspension over with because he needs time off for Christmas. Instead he gets Hardy. Don’t worry about the suspension because in three weeks, Hardy is taking the title. Tonight it’s the two of them against Hardy and a partner of his choice. This would be a little more suspenseful if they hadn’t mentioned this in the preview before the show. Of course it’s Sting. Here he is and he has the insane face paint on again.

The main event tag is officially a street fight.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels

And remember, the teams are RANDOM! I mean, no one would take rivals and put them against stable mates. That would be STUPID! Tenay says Fourtune is officially defunct. Kaz vs. Van Dam to start us off. They hit the mat quickly and it’s off to AJ. Daniels wants him but Van Dam says he’s mine.

After some basic stuff it’s back to Kaz who seems to have better chemistry with RVD. Monkey flip by Rob sets up a headlock by Kaz. Back to AJ and Van Dam goes to the corner. He rams into Daniels and that counts as a tag. Daniels comes in and misses AJ, allowing the tag to Kaz. Van Dam slaps Daniels into the Fade To Black for the pin at 5:18.

Rating: D+. Basic but fine here and that’s all it needed to be. Thankfully they didn’t push Van Dam and Daniels as a team that lucks its way into the second round. Either way, this was ok but it wasn’t anything special. That goes for a lot of first round tournament matches most of the time though so there isn’t much to complain about there.

Anthony Nese says he’s awesome and can hang with anyone.

Zema Ion says he’s pretty.

Zema Ion vs. Anthony Nese

This is the second match in the best of three series with Ion up 1-0. Ion has hairspray so you know he’s a heel. The winner of this is in a four way against Aries, Kash and Sorensen. Ion dives through the ropes to take Nese out with a dropkick before the bell. Back in Nese snaps off a rana for two. Cross body gets the same. Ion gets in a shot but Nese fights back and hits a Lionsault for two.

The American hits a German on the Filipino for two. Nese misses a springboard body block for two and Ion takes over again. Nese jumps from the mat to the top for a super rana for two. Ion hits a spinning facebuster but pulls Nese up like he did last week. Naturally it allows Nese to nip up into a rollup for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the problem is the lack of any reason to care about these guys or the match they had. Nese is a generic face and Ion is a generic heel. The match was fine and they did some good stuff, but I’ve seen a match like this a thousand times and I’ve seen it better a few hundred times. That’s the problem with these cruiserweight matches: it’s REALLY hard to top them and when they’re average, they look weak.

Madison Rayne is in a referee dress and says Karen put her in charge of the Knockouts.

Pope says he’s there for people when they need him. What D-Von didn’t get is that Pope is a better trainer than he is so let him train. He’ll always be pimping too. D-Von vs. Pope at Genesis again. D-Von comes in and grabs him but one of his kids hits him in the back. Pope calls them his boys.

Eric Young and D-Von are on a date because they’re in the wild card tournament together. One of their opponents is Shannon Moore and Eric locks up with a referee.

Here’s Madison and she calls out Tara and Tessmacher. She shouts a lot and the fans chant what sounds like USA. Madison repeats that she’s the head of the Knockouts which surprises Mike and Taz, even though she said it earlier. Her job is to destroy the Knockouts and she’s starting with the two of them. Their closeness makes her sick so they’re fighting each other tonight and she’s the referee.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Tara

And it’s a comedy match. They do the slowest wristlock this side of Delirious and Tara shouts ouchie. They trade some very weak covers and this is kind of amusing. The limited wrestling turns into talking and even the Impact Zone is silent. They finally get into a fight and Madison won’t count due to reasons of waving. Madison shouts at them to hit someone so they hit her. And then the Tebow it. Ok then. It ran about 6 minutes but there wasn’t exactly an ending point.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t exactly a wrestling match. I’m not sure what it was but the girls were hot so I’ll let it go.

Sting and Hardy say they’ll win.

Eric looks for a gift to give ODB and looks through the kitchen of the restaurant.

Here’s Storm to FINALLY give us something interesting. He says that Angle is looking for him but Storm will either be in the bar or in the ring. Angle gave him a beating but Storm won in the end. He makes football references and drops Tebow’s name. Angle pops up on the screen and is in Storm’s hometown. He insults a woman and that’s about it.

Ray says he and Roode will win.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: Eric Young/ODB vs. Anarquia/Shannon Moore

Young vs. Anarquia to start us up and Eric dances a lot. Young locks up with the Mexican America chicks outside and then disrobes. Anarquia comes in and slams Eric. It’s off to ODB and Moore bails. ODB kind of slams him and Eric hits a top rope elbow. A low blow by ODB gets the pin at 4:36.

Rating: F. What. Ever. Man. I’m so over Eric and his unfunny comedy but TNA insists we need to see it time after time on every show.

Matt Morgan and Crimson recap the tag tournament. They don’t take it seriously it seems.

Angle beats up people in Tennessee. He pulls out a freaking cap gun and hits someone in the head with it. He superkicks a lot of them after standing them up in a line. Angle even throws the Christmas tree at someone. He challenges Storm for Genesis.

Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy

This is a street fight and they have a ton of time. I wonder if Sting vs. Ray is going to happen at Genesis. Probably not. Those two head to the floor and Roode takes over in the ring on Hardy. They go split screen for a bit but the painted guys clear the ring. STEREO DIVES take the heels out. Sting diving like that was pretty awesome. That takes us to a break.

Back with more violence and the bad guys in trouble. Ray hits Hardy with a kendo stick to the back and does the same to Sting. We get the dreaded cookie sheet and Ray takes over on Sting. Sting fights back and hits a superplex to take Ray down. He’s showing off tonight. Roode comes in to beat down the guy with the full facepaint (Sting) but Sting comes back again. He loads up the splash but Ray hits him with part of a wooden sign to break it up.

Ray drops an elbow for two. Hardy hasn’t been focused on in this match very much. Ray and Roode set for something but Sting ducks so Ray clotheslines Roode. Death Drop to Ray but Sting walks into a spinebuster. Hardy comes in and takes out Roode but Ray kicks his head off. Ray gets the table but Sting moves it before Hardy can go through it. He cleans house and hooks the Scorpion on Ray (who taps but it doesn’t count) and puts Roode down with a Death Drop. Another table is set up and Hardy splashes Roode through it for the pin at 18:20.

Rating: B. This knew that it was supposed to be an over the top and fun brawl and that’s what it was. There wasn’t really anything all that significant going on here but it did the job in giving Hardy the pin over Roode. Also it gave Sting a chance to look awesome as he’s limited in the ring anymore and that’s fine. Fun match and a good way to close the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I don’t want to say this show was bad, because it really wasn’t. It was however pretty meh. It came off a lot like Raw on Monday as a throwaway show, and for the most part I’m ok with that. However, stuff like the Knockouts and Eric Young got really old really fast. The main event was fun and there was kind of an energy to the show that helped it, but not one of their better episodes. Still though, it’s a holiday kind of show so taking things less seriously might be a good idea.

Results
Kazarian/AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels – Fade To Black to Daniels
Anthony Nese b. Zema Ion – Rollup
Tara vs. Brooke Tessmacher went to a no contest
Eric Young/ODB b. Anarquia/Shannon Moore – Low blow to Anarquia
Jeff Hardy/Sting b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Splash through a table to Roode

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Best of the WWF Volume 10
Host: Gene Okerlund
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Alfred Hayes, Gene Okerlund

It’s that time again, although I’m rapidly running out of these that I can find copies of. This is from late 86, which wasn’t a good time for the company. The one good thing on here is Piper returning and his feud with Adrian Adonis, which is old school Piper at his crazy best. The rest….eh I’ve been surprised before. Let’s get to it.

That Coliseum Video intro. I dig it.

Gene does the intro and you can see Wrestlemania 2 playing in the background. This isn’t looking good for us people.

Ricky Steamboat/Junkyard Dog/Haiti Kid vs. Jimmy Jack Funk/Hoss Funk/Jimmy Hart

Haiti Kid is a midget wrestler. Gorilla says it’ll be a classic and I don’t see myself agreeing. Jack (can’t call him Jimmy here) and Steamboat start us off. Ricky controls early and speeds things up. I think we’re in Boston here if you’re interested. Jimmy (for the sake of simplicity, when I say Jimmy I mean Hart) comes in and all three “good” guys swarm him. We then get a sequence which can only be described as a dog picking up a midget and throwing him at a man wearing a Lone Ranger mask.

Off to Hoss (Dory Jr.) vs. the Dog. Let the stalling begin. Steamboat comes in again and this is still completely one sided. He clears the ring again and we stall some more. Jack FINALLY gets some offense in to give him team a break. Hoss’ piledriver is countered into a backdrop as is his suplex into a suplex. Small package gets two for Ricky. Jack comes in and hammers away a bit. There’s not much of a point in listing off what happens here because it’s exactly what you would expect I’d presume.

Dragon finally gets in a chop to Hoss and brings in the Dog. He and Hoss go down and Jimmy and Haiti Kid remind us they’re alive by doing a quick and pointless chase. By quick, I mean about two seconds. Dog and Hoss move for about ten seconds so it’s time for a double clothesline. Dog needed a nap. Jack knocks Dog down so here’s Jimmy to a bit pop. Dog no sells it and Jimmy PANICS. The Kid comes in and everything breaks down. Dory hits Dog with the Megaphone and takes out the Kid so Jimmy can pin the tiny one.

Rating: D. When a manager and a midget get by far and away the biggest reactions of the match, you can kind of tell that something is wrong with your match. It was more or less a tag team match with interfering managers. That being said, it wasn’t a good tag match which really hurt things here. Boring match and REALLY long.

Tito Santana vs. Bob Orton

This is around the time when Orton is siding with Adrian Adonis so he’s even more hated since it was arguable that Adonis was the most hated heel in the company (not top heel, most hated. There’s a difference.). Gorilla says Tito has Excellence of Execution. We’re in Boston again here. They exchange basic stuff to start and hit the mat. Clipped to talking about Terry Garvin and that’s not going to go well.

Orton hits a hip toss and a slow flying headscissors. He misses a dive in the corner though and kind of crotches himself. Tito sends him to the floor because he’s not a nice person at times. Back in a jackknife cover gets two for Santana. This is shaping up to be LONG. Tito throwing on an armbar would seem to confirm my theory. Clipped again to later in the armbar so you know this is going to last awhile.

Orton gets up and just pounds him down as the fans boo. Backslide gets one for Tito and it’s back to the arm. As the fans’ eyes begin to close, Orton finally wakes them up a bit with an atomic drop. His shoulder hits the post though and so it’s back to the arm. Bob sends him to the floor to make this slow down even more. Santana gets thrown into a barricade and knocks it over.

Tito gets draped on the rope coming back in and Orton walks around even slower. And now we go to a chinlock. Grrrrrreat. Thankfully Tito atomic drops out of it and they both fall down. And then Bob grabs it right back. Tito punches him down and grabs the leg. He works it over a bit and here’s the Figure Four. After Orton gets the rope, Tito sets for the headknocker but takes a head to the balls (at least it’s a complete set) and Bob takes over again. They slug it out and the bell rings for a time limit draw. Apparently this ran 30 minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s ok but that’s just it: there’s nothing interesting here at all. They do a little bit of something and then they do a little bit of something else. They repeat this for the twenty minutes that we see of it. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened here if this was shown in full. What does this prove to anyone? That’s why you don’t see many of these that often. Also, this is proof that simply going 30 or 60 minutes as so many old guys claim to have done, doesn’t mean it’s any good.

The Machines vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy

LONG story here that eventually helped set up Hogan vs. Andre. Giant Machine isn’t here though so there’s no point in listing it off. The Machines are Big Machine and Super Machine, or some combination of Axe from Demolition and Blackjack Lanza. Bundy hammers on let’s say Giant Machine. Heenan got run off early in the match and jumps in on commentary here.

While he rambles, Studd gets hammered down. Off to Bundy and Hayes thinks Studd is injured. He and Lanza collide and no one goes anywhere. Instead they hit each other and Bundy goes back into the corner. Avalanche misses and Team Heenan isn’t doing that well. Axe comes in (the announcers don’t know their names either) and pounds on Studd but gets blasted in the head to shift momentum.

Bundy and Studd collide in the corner and Heenan has to play peacemaker. Axe almost splashes Lanza but puts the brakes on. Studd pops him in the back of the head from the apron to shift momentum again. Studd goes for the mask but Lanza makes the save. Hot tag brings in Lanza and everything breaks down. Lanza hits a jumping back elbow for a very delayed two. Delayed because Heenan is late running in for the DQ so the referee basically just stops before the three.

Rating: D+. These matches were meant to be fun, but when you didn’t have the Giant in there it really hurt things. Not a good match or anything, but it wasn’t particularly meant to be. They did their thing here and the ending hut it a lot, but that doesn’t make it a good match. Still it’s old school fun though so I can’t complain much here.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. US Express

This is the Rotundo/Spivey version. The Dream Team has the tag titles but I don’t think they’re on the line here. Ok so they are. That works too. Rotundo gets beaten on by the champions but he speeds things up to get out of trouble. He gets his knees up in the corner and works over the arm. The good guys do the blind tag thing because faces in wrestling are usually evil. As Spivey gets beaten down the Dream Team tries the same thing and get thrown out. See? Heels aren’t heels because they’re evil. They’re heels because they get mistreated.

Rotunda vs. Valentine at the moment with Mike missing an elbow to give the champions the advantage. Valentine beats on him a bit until he gets caught in the Arn Anderson holding the arm down to the mat then jump crotch first onto the knees spot. Was that a Mid-Atlantic thing? Beefcake gets a sleeper on Mike but it gets countered pretty quickly. Greg breaks up the tag attempt and goes after the leg.

Now I know the Figure Four was a Mid-Atlantic thing. I’m still not sure on the crotching spot but you see it enough that it almost has to be. We finally get the hot tag when the Figure Four doesn’t work so it’s off to Spivey to clean house. For some reason the challengers tag twice after Spivey comes in. To no shock Rotundo got beaten up quickly so it was back to Spivey. The champs try to cheat but it can’t get the pin. Beefcake counters a rollup into a very sloppy looking one, grabs the furry boots (What is with those? So many people use them and I still don’t get the point) and gets the clean pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I have no idea what the point was in having the challengers get beat that cleanly. It looked pretty bad as Spivey pretty clearly could have kicked out but didn’t. There was something a few seconds earlier though that looked a bit botched, so maybe that wasn’t the planned ending.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Luscious John steals Jack’s hat so Beefcake can take an early advantage. I think we’re in MSG here. Brutus takes over due to the hat thing and uses his bare bones stuff to take over. At this point he was really boring and VERY limited. He also had the same style haircut as my cousin Sharon, which is a knock on him and not her. Haynes counters a suplex into one of his own and both guys are down.

This is one of those house show matches that is on a house show for a reason. There’s nothing interesting at all and the guys in there aren’t really all that interested in cranking things up past the bare minimum. Haynes gets a clothesline to take over again and my goodness END THIS ALREADY. He hits a splash to the knees but apparently it doesn’t hurt him as he covers for two anyway. And then Luscious John (Beefcake’s manager if that wasn’t clear) trips Haynes for the DQ.

Rating: D-. I liked Beefcake when I was a kid but MAN was this boring. They weren’t interesting at all and the fans weren’t really interested either. Neither guy was anything of note and they were only there to fill in about ten minutes on the card. At least it’s over though and we have to move on to something better right?

Islanders vs. Jimmy Jack Funk/Mr. X

Seriously, THIS IS THE BEST OF THE WWF??? This is the Islanders’ debut. We also have a female referee. X vs. Tama to start us off. Tama runs him off and it’s Funk in now. Ok back to X and Haku. The Islanders are faces here due to not being in the Heenan Family yet. Backbreaker gets two for Haku and this referee counts slow. Back to Tama vs. Funk and they mess up a backdrop as Funk stops, then gets backdropped.

Funk hits Tama in the back while he’s hitting the ropes to take over. This is already boring me, which is the running theme of this tape and arguably this series. Tama gets beaten down for awhile as this match is going WAY too long for a debut. Jack hits a shoulder breaker and middle rope fist drop for two. It was nice of Tama to scoot closer to the ropes for Jack to hit him.

Tama finally escapes a neckbreaker into a snap (minus the snap) suplex to put both guys down. Oh come on just get to the tag so we can get to end of this already. They tag but the referee doesn’t see it. I love that but NOT IN TEN MINUTE DEBUTS! Tama ducks a clothesline and then a double clothesline puts both guys down. FINALLY Haku gets the tag and cleans house before bringing Tama back in for a splash RVD would be jealous of for the pin after nearly 13 minutes.

Rating: D. This was their debut. If you want a team to be impressive in their debut, you make it a squash. You don’t make it a match that lasted longer than most main events would go. They beat up jobbers in their debut, but the WWF managed to screw this up. How could they manage to do that???

Roddy Piper vs. AJ Petrucci

AJ is a jobber who looks like a combination of Tugboat and Akeem but even less memorable. This is Piper’s big return and MAN is he over. This is from Superstars. AJ slaps him so Piper puts one hand behind his back for the rest of the match and beats the tar out of him. This is the crazy fired up Piper that is just AWESOME. This is awesome stuff with Piper giving him a brutal beating with all kinds of strikes and never taking his arm from behind his back except for at the end for a double axe to the face to end it. Total squash but AWESOME.

Now we get to the BIG angle of this time. Piper had left for awhile, I think to film some movies, and comes back to host the Pit. But the Pit is gone and Adrian Adonis has his own show called The Flower Shop. He also has Bob Orton, Piper’s former bodyguard, in a pink hat as the new bodyguard. They break Piper’s leg with a chair so Piper limps out (in wrestling trunks for some reason) and DESTROYS the Flower Shop with a ball bat. Adonis jumped Piper on the set of the Pit and put him to sleep. Then Piper ran in on an Adonis match and the locker room had to empty to break them up.

Roddy Piper vs. Don Muraco

Muraco is an Adonis crony. Piper jumps him to start and he’s WAY over. He was easily the second most popular guy in the company at this point. Muraco has a beard here which doesn’t work on him at all. They go to the floor and Piper slams him into a chair. Piper bites him coming back in and then gets him tied up in the ropes.

There’s a bulldog for no cover. There are cops walking around in the front row for some reason. Muraco sends him to the floor and Fuji gets in a shot to take Piper down a few pegs. Piper gets sent into the post and is busted. I can’t actually see it but Gorilla said it and Gorilla wouldn’t lie. Back in now and Piper spears him down to take over. Oh yeah it’s dripping off his face. Muraco is busted too.

This is a total brawl now. Muraco swings away but you don’t do that to Piper. He takes over with punches and hits a suplex for two. Fuji pokes Piper with the cane to shift momentum one more time. They’re both bleeding a ton. Fuji tries to interfere again but Muraco accidentally knees him to the floor and Piper rolls up Muraco for the pin.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl here which is what Piper was best at. He could go out there and have a totally wild brawl but his charisma was more than enough to carry him to a good match. Well maybe fun is the better term that good but you get the idea. This of course all culminated with the hair vs. hair match at Mania with Piper vs. Adonis.

Overall Rating: D. This was a pretty dull tape and a lot of that is due to a combination of match selection and the era in which its set. This was a bad time for the WWF as other than the main event which had Orndorff vs. Hogan (not mentioned here) there wasn’t much going on. The midcard was dominated by Savage and Steamboat was out injured or was about to be. Weak tape.

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No Mercy 1999
Date: October 17, 1999
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 18,742
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Still trying to finish the millennium by Monday with this and Armageddon to go. The main event here is Austin vs. HHH for the title which I would think needs no explanation. That’s not the important thing here though. The important thing here is the final match in the Terri Invitational Tournament, which is a best of 5 series between Edge and Christian and the Hardys.

This one however, is a ladder match. Also here we have the Good Housekeeping match which ends Chyna vs. Jarrett and has a cool story behind it. Let’s get to it as we have two shows left.

The opening video is about HHH being nuts lately which wouldn’t kick into high gear until the Rumble with the street fight vs. Cactus. The idea here is that neither Austin nor HHH will have any mercy. Wow that’s just riveting isn’t it?

Much like a modern show, we jump right into the first match.

Godfather vs. Mideon

The girls look better than normal which isn’t saying much. Apparently Godfather is mad at Mideon over something from Smackdown and Vince threw this match on the card about 20 minutes ago. Ok then. I never realized how annoying Godfather was back in the day. The Ministry more or less was just these two at this point. That made no sense so far. Viscera is with Mideon. Godfather had been IC Champion in April of this year for no apparent reason.

The main event is no holds barred now. Good to know. That makes more sense if nothing else. Viscera keeps the Ho Train from starting, which is good as it’s an idiotic move to begin with. Yeah I could care less about this match if you couldn’t tell. Everyone in this match is rather annoying yet kept getting jobs for no apparent reason out of this. This is just boring. Is this supposed to get the crowd into the show or something? It’s putting me to sleep and we’re ten minutes in.

Why is this still going on? It’s not interesting, it’s not any good, the crowd isn’t into it, so let’s let it keep on going. Sure why not. To be fair though, this is on first so I won’t remember it in an hour. Ho Train connects and he rolls Mideon up for the pin. Uh ok sure. And as usual Tim White dances with the girls.

Rating: F+. Seriously, what was the point here? I get that they needed to fill in some time but they couldn’t have split up the time and given it to the other matches instead? The ladder match couldn’t have gotten two or three of this and a long promo gotten the rest? I completely fail to see the point in this but at least it’s over. Horrible choice for an opener but I guess it’s best to get it out of the way now and not later on.

We go back to Smackdown where a very injured looking HHH talks to Austin. It’s pretty clearly makeup and yep it’s fake as he beats up Austin. We then throw it to an interview from Heat where HHH brags about what he did.

Wait…if we’re supposed to believe Austin got jumped because he thought HHH was beaten up by Austin (as in HHH told Austin that Austin beat him up), wouldn’t Austin have known better? What sense does that make? Did a match get canceled or something? This was nearly 5 minutes of just talking.

Ah wait we’re not done yet. Ivory doesn’t care about Fabulous Moolah. Moolah has a title shot tonight. She’s 76 years old at this point. Sure why not?

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Ivory

Mae is with her of course. This was when the women’s division was about as boring as you could possibly imaging so this very well may have been the best they could think of. Ivory has a nice figure if nothing else. Dang that’s something I didn’t notice before. Ok I have a reason to pay attention now. Seriously though, this is ok? No one sees anything wrong with this at all?

Having a woman who was in her 20s in World War II being in a wrestling match in 1999 is fine now? Mae breaks up a pin and Moolah gets thrown to the floor. Ok this is officially stupid. Mae gets knocked to the floor. I don’t care if they say they can do this. It’s not something you should allow them to do. If you’re Vince you say no to them. That’s all there is to it. I mean Moolah is taking bumps out there. This is ridiculous.

And now Mae takes a belt shot to the head and falls from the apron to the floor. Moolah wins the title on a horrible looking rollup. This is idiotic and thankfully it’s over. She would lose the title 8 days later to Ivory, making this totally pointless.

Rating: F. No. This is not acceptable. This is nothing but irresponsible. I don’t care if they’re ok with it or anything like that. Vince, you should never have let them in the ring no matter what. This is ridiculous and not right on any level. I hate stuff like this as it’s dangerous and not needed. Don’t have a title match or whatever, but do not do this ever.

HHH is ticked that it’s no holds barred as he thought Austin would get disqualified.

New Age Outlaws vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly

The Outlaws are way over here. They lost the titles to the Rock N Sock Connection a few days ago on Smackdown. Man that was a huge show Thursday night. The Hollies cost them the belts. I guess this was a feud or something at the time. Wait…if the Hollies were fighting them here anyway, why try to cost them the belts? That makes NO SENSE. Can we listen to some Hollies songs instead of watching this match?

It never ceases to amaze me how much praise this era gets yet we’re half an hour into the show and THIS is so far and away the match of the night it’s scary. Road Dogg is very over here. Ah yeah we’re in the super heavyweights era here. Oh and Fink is now the property of Curtis Hughes, as he’s now working for Jericho. Ok then. Holly gets a British Bulldogesque suplex on Road Dogg.

I can’t get over how popular the Outlaws and in particular the canine half of them are. This match is ok. That’s all it is: just ok. There’s nothing that great about it or anything but it’s ok I guess. Again, by far the match of the night at this point. The crowd is hot too. Yep this was supposed to be for the belts so the Hollies cost the Outlaws the belts. Sure why not. Gunn has been in for all of a minute. I wonder what he’s on tonight.

Yeah he’s carrying this team. Road Dogg that is. What was the appeal of Gunn anyway? Dogg was better in the ring and on the mic. Oh that’s right: he didn’t look good or anything so let’s go with the drug addict instead. Oh and he can do press slams. We’ll ignore the fact that he blew every push you ever gave him. A Fameasser on a chair gives the match to the Hollies by DQ. They would win the tag titles the next night.

Rating: D+. This was pretty weak. There’s nothing worth mentioning here. Other than the long paragraph I wrote about it just a few minutes ago of course. Just a standard TV match here without a finish. Again though: best match of the night so far.

We recap Chyna vs. Debra which was actually a solid feud. The deal was Jarrett was talking down to women and had the match won at the last PPV. A substitute referee reversed it though. She has her rematch tonight in a Good Housekeeping match where household objects are allowed as weapons.

Now for the interesting part of this. This match is, among other reasons, the main reason why Jarrett was thrown out of the WWF and told never to come back. In other words, TNA wouldn’t be around if not for this match. The thing was, this had been built up for months at this point. This more or less was the 3rd biggest match on the card. You could argue the 2nd biggest. One problem: Jarrett’s contract expired Saturday night or Friday or whenever.

Point is: he wasn’t under contract for Sunday and was the IC Champion. Vince has a major problem and Jarrett realizes it. So, Jarrett says pay him somewhere around $400,000 or he’s not showing up. He had Vince over a barrel so he got paid. The thing is, Jarrett did nothing wrong whatsoever. Vince messed up here.

He didn’t realize that he had a major issue coming up and he just let it go. Jarrett utilized supply and demand. There was a very high demand for his services and a small supply. He used simple economics and charged Vince a very high price tag for it. Not a thing wrong with it at all. Also, how many times do people get the better of Vince? I love that.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so.

We recap Bulldog vs. Rock. Bulldog cost Rock the world title a few times and no one bought Bulldog in the main event anymore so this is your final match in it. Oh and Rock cost Bulldog the title too. Yeah it sucked.

Rock vs. British Bulldog

Wow that video took way too long. Sweet goodness Bulldog was worthless at this point. As JR put it, how many times can you repackage a guy like him? Rock is a tag champion here as the belts get killed more and more every day as we wait on the trio of saviors to breathe life into them for a bit. And he had no title here for no apparent reason. Dang it we have to hear about Stephanie’s injury from Rebellion AGAIN???

The perk of those shows is YOU NEVER HEAR ABOUT THEM. In case you haven’t read my review of that show, SCREW YOU. Kidding. The idea was that Bulldog wanted a title shot there and didn’t get one so he threw a trash can and it hit Stephanie, injuring her. They would not shut up about it for the rest of the night. It drove me freaking insane hearing about it but it was so important I guess. Anyway let’s get to the match.

It’s a brawl of course all over the floor and into various things. The vertical suplex sucks here. Holly did it about 10x better earlier today. And it’s chinlock time. They botch a Samoan Drop but it looked like a back body drop so that’s ok. This just isn’t that good. The powerslam gets two and no one cares. Bulldog has no heat at all and it’s just pitiful. Powerslam #2 is countered and Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow ends it clean. What the heck was that?

Rating: D. Seriously, what the heck was that? This was like 7 minutes and Rock was never once in anything close to trouble. Bulldog hit his finisher and no one cared. This was a joke and the definition of an abortion of a feud and a push.

Terri explains how to win a ladder match while Lawler looks up her skirt. She’s not that hot, period.

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

They’re the New Brood here but you get the idea. The winner gets $100,000 and Terri. This is the night where these four broke through to the other side and changed the company for more or less ever. Keep in mind, none of the spots you’re about to see have ever been seen in the company before so this is all new stuff. What you have here is four guys being told to go out there and just do it. I’ve long since thought this WWF’s answer to the cruiserweights.

This is the Terri Invitational Tournament. Spell it out for yourselves. We start on the floor and this should be awesome. It’s a fight to get to the ladders. I’ve never gotten why you need to get to the ladder first. It’s not like that means you win or anything. I remember in War Games 2000 in WCW you had to get the belt down and leave with it. Kevin Nash just stood at the door. He didn’t have to do anything but leave with the belt, so why risk getting hurt to go up there and get it?

Let someone else do the work. First ladder is brought in and down goes Edge. The reactions to this are great. The fans are gasping at every spot which is what you want: to get the crowd excited. We’ve been in this match maybe four minutes and it’s already way ahead of the rest of the show. Oh Gangrel was thrown out. Swanton to Edge onto a ladder. Looking back this isn’t that great by comparison but it’s still very fun.

You have to keep in mind that there is nothing to compare it to at the moment. This is the first multi-man ladder match so this is just mind blowing. Also it’s the first time that there isn’t a big man like Ramon in there. These guys are designed for matches like this and it’s working really well. Edge is almost there and Matt just chucks a ladder at him. That was cool.

Matt’s crotch gets crushed. You know, it occurs to me that in storyline, Matt and Edge dated Lita, in the Christian/Jericho and Lita/Trish angle it was Christian and Lita and Jeff and Lita had a small thing once Matt was gone. Man that girl gets around. Everyone is down now as Christian takes a Twist of Fate. Second ladder is set up. Jeff takes a Downward Spiral from the ladder.

The great thing about a ladder is that while most of the spots are from about the level of the second rope, having a ladder involved makes it seem cooler. The see-saw spot debuts and Christian and Matt get slammed in the face with it. These things never get old. The look on Edge’s face with him laying on his back with his eyes open is great. All four go up at once and all four come down with all four landing on the ropes.

Crowd is going crazy mind you. The roof camera view is pretty awesome actually. Edge climbs one ladder, Christian and Jeff climb another. Matt slams the ladder with two guys into the other ladder so Edge falls. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other and knocks Edge off to grab the money. SWEET ENDING.

Rating: A. Just yes. This is the reason to see this PPV. This match just changed the WWF forever as they set the standard for awesome matches with ladders. The fans ate this up like no other and it still definitely holds up today. Just a great match.

Edge and Christian get a standing ovation too. They deserve it.

Mankind tries to find Rock. He slips Rock a copy of his autobiography in the bathroom then runs into him in the hall. Rock hates Mankind at the time mind you but they’re tag champions. The chemistry was great though. For no apparent reason, Val Venis beats up Mankind in the bathroom. Ok then. They have a match apparently. That makes sense. That was on Heat I guess.

Here’s Rock though. He wants the title shot at Survivor Series. Sweet goodness this man was popular. As he’s leaving HHH jumps him with the sledgehammer.

Val Venis vs. Mankind

Random much? Venis has a copy of Foley’s book, which really did rock. Venis was given a way too solid push around this time and this is no exception. Foley is shown in the back helping Rock on the stretcher. We start on the floor of course. There’s not much to talk about here. Mankind pulls Mr. Rocko out of Val’s tights which is as stupid as you would think it is. We hit the floor for awhile and the Claw is on.

Val breaks it by slamming Foley’s head into the post. Nicely done. So Foley has a head injury. Val, using intelligence, goes for THE HEAD. Are you paying attention people? Using simple things like that can make a match that much better. This is a better match than I was expecting. Val hits an elbow to the back of the head and Foley isn’t moving at all. Money Shot misses. Double Arm DDT gets two. I’m liking it. Both guys have socks.

Mankind grabs the mouth and Val grabs Foley’s balls. Ok then. That knocks Mankind out…for the pin? What the….huh? Holy head scratcher Batman. Foley gets Rocko back to end this.

Rating: B-. The story made sense here is nothing else. That’s the biggest thing it has going for it I guess. Foley continues to job for everyone. I still say that he’s the best jobber of all time. Still though, this was a pretty good match that worked well enough given what was going on in it.

We see Kane losing to the Acolytes and still being mad at X-Pac. That leads us to this.

X-Pac vs. Bradshaw vs. Farrooq vs. Kane

It’s elimination rules. Ok then. This is yet another namesake in this WTF show. So are there no tags here? X-Pac gets crushed in about 8 seconds so that means he’ll be winning. It’s Acolytes vs. Kane in the ring and apparently we do have tags. Kane busts out the enziguri here which is always cool to see. Kane and X-Pac still don’t get along for whatever reason. I always hated this team and since I always liked Kane it must be because of X-Pac.

The Acolytes EXPLODE! Doesn’t have the same ring as the Mega Powers does it? I’m still trying to figure out the point to this match but whatever. This was very much in the underdog period for X-Pac which is where he got very annoying very quickly. The problem was simply that it wasn’t realistic for him to be in there with guys this size. The giant killer thing is fine but only once in awhile. Eventually reality needs to set in and it became stupid after a short while with Waltman. Or at least it did with me.

It’s Bradshaw vs. X-Pac in there at the moment. Crowd doesn’t seem to care here either. I love that boot to the face. Not in general but just this one. Seeing him get his head kicked in is just fun. Pac hits a decent tornado DDT. Kane gets in as there continues to be no point in this not being a tag match. I forgot that it was every man for himself for a bit there. Kane gets the chokeslam on Bradshaw for the pin.

A spinning heel kick from the top puts Kane out so it’s Farrooq vs. X-Pac. Riveting isn’t it? Farrooq gets his spinebuster which always makes me want to say boy please. And there’s your horrible ending. Farrooq goes for a flying shoulder block and X-Pac counters into what was supposed to look like an X-Factor but just looked bad. I think that’s the other problem I have with him: his finishing move sucks. Oh look the little guy beat three big ones. Yeah I don’t care either.

Rating: D. Again, what was the point here? This was just filler I guess but it wasn’t that bad. Yeah it was a storyline that was going on at the moment but still, this was rather pointless in my eyes. I hated the ending too but then again we’ll push Waltman no matter what right? Yeah I can’t stand him. Get over it.

Rock won’t go to the hospital.

We recap Austin vs. HHH which is mainly him beating up Austin at Summerslam. That led to Austin being Austin. If nothing else it’s set to his H-Blocks song which I’ve always liked. It’s Austin’s first match since Summerslam so it’s clear he was about to go out for neck surgery here. It was supposed to be Austin vs. Rock vs. HHH at Survivor Series. If a triple threat ever headlined Mania that would have been it. OH OK!

The thing from earlier wasn’t Austin beating him up. It was an actual rattlesnake that allegedly bit him. That makes so much more sense. I couldn’t get a clear signal on UPN for years so I missed a lot of Smackdown in the early years.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. HHH

This is anything goes remember. Yep Austin is still over. I’ve always loved HHH’s My Time song. Just a sweet song all around. Vince grabs the sledgehammer from HHH in the aisle and down goes Vince. It wouldn’t be the late 90s if it didn’t start in the aisle would it? Austin goes aerial and takes out HHH with a jumping clothesline from the barrier. Nice. He used to jump around a lot more before his body became suck a mess.

We hit the crowd. Haven’t actually been in the ring yet of course. JR calls that a restaurant quality beating. That’s not a terrible line. In ECW fashion, the fans hand Austin things to hit HHH with. You can see the hardwood that the Cavs play on. Austin grabs one of the boom cameras and spins it so it hits HHH. Those are the ones on big long things that I can’t think of the name of that spin around and film things. You would know them if you saw them.

We still haven’t been in the ring yet. Austin walks up to it and is like nah screw it I don’t know how to get in there. That’s a foreign place to me. We get to the barrier and now back into the crowd. I usually hate this but here it makes sense as they hate each other. Did you know pinfalls count anywhere here? I didn’t either but apparently that’s the case. Well now it really makes sense.

Hmm. I’m a referee and Austin is in a position to catapult HHH. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with standing RIGHT WHERE HHH IS ABOUT TO BE LAUNCHED TO. Seriously, why are referees so stupid? Hey we’re in the ring! Crowd EXPLODES for the Stunner. Good night the referee is down again and just in time for a Pedigree. Hebner runs down but it’s just two. Earl always had fun beating up HHH.

I used to have a picture of Hebner shouting down HHH. The crowd is nuts about Austin. Austin takes over and goes to the floor again. At least he’s consistent. JR loses his headset. Put some barbecue sauce on it and he’ll have a blog up about it in 30 seconds. HHH is bleeding. At least I’m told that. Not like we can see it or anything. Ah ok he is bleeding. AUSTIN SENT HIM INTO THE RING! I’m STUNNED! And I’m so good with puns.

JR is back. Austin flips off the fans. Again, he plays to the crowd when he can even for just a few seconds and he’s one of the biggest stars ever. It’s so simple yet so effective. A bell shot gives HHH control again. Has anyone ever actually been broken in half? HHH finally wakes up and goes after the knee he tried to destroy. We hit a leg lock which at least is focusing on the body part that was injured already. That’s a plus.

HHH brings in a chair but it doesn’t last long. You can tell we’re getting close to the end here. Austin gets the chair and goes off like HHH did at Summerslam after the knee. Here’s Rock with a sledgehammer. And of course he hits Austin by mistake. Pedigree to Rock and there’s the pin. Austin goes after HHH again and they fight to the back. Chyna is waiting with a limo and they bail to end the show.

Rating: B. This was a fun brawl that did its job. This wasn’t supposed to be anything serious and it wasn’t. This was to have HHH vs. Austin in a war and it worked. It also set up the dream match at Survivor Series which never happened in a total bait and switch but that’s another review that I’ve already done. I liked it and it was entertaining, which is the idea here.

Overall Rating: B. Once you get to the Chyna match, this show takes off in a hurry. It’s a great example of a good show. Other than the ladder match there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see, but if you bought this back in the day, I’d say you would certainly have been satisfied and thought it was worth the 30 (Yes as in more than 29 and less than 31, give a 50 and get a 20 back) dollars to see it.

I liked it but fast forward through the first 40 minutes. This era wasn’t kind to opening stuff and this is no exception. Still though, this was a good show with a red hot main event and a historic match in there. Check out the ladder match for sure and the main event if you have some time to kill and want a decent brawl. Whole show is worth a look but the ladder match in particular is must see. Good show overall.

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As in something you didn’t see coming.I have to go with Zack Ryder’s rise.  I mean….HE’S ZACK RYDER.  Who would have predicted that he would be US Champion as a huge face at the end of the year?  I’ll go with this as my main argument for him: the end of Survivor Series, as in after the PPV went off the air, saw Rock standing in the middle of the ring in Madison Square Garden.  The fans chanted We Want Ryder.  Let that sink in for awhile.

Thoughts/Picks?

Monday Nitro #23
Date: February 5, 1996
Location: Jenkins Center, Lakeland, Florida
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, Steve McMichael

We’re FINALLY at the go home show for Superbrawl which would turn out to be an absolute disaster. Anyway this on paper looks like a decent card but I’m not completely sold yet. These Nitros are so hit or miss that it’s unreal. Anyway this should be ok and if nothing else we don’t have to hear about how awesome Superbrawl will be after this so let’s get to it.

By the way this is around the time when they started the overrun so these shows are going to get a bit longer.

Eric and company run down the card for tonight and talk about Hogan a lot. His eye injury is the main topic of discussion of course.

WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Savage

Yes please. Benoit is a Horseman here which is why he’s getting this show. He’s not well liked at all due to said affiliation and has zero chance of winning here but this should be fun either way. Please give them some time? Big pop for Savage as this is more or less his hometown. He has Woman and Liz here with him. Guess what would happen with them at the PPV. Just guess.

Now let’s make fun of WWF for a bit. Have to take care of that no? Benoit holds up the four fingers at Savage and the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Benoit was known as a guy with talent but he hadn’t proven a thing yet so this isn’t a real challenge. He takes over though and sends Savage to the floor. This was also normal though as Savage’s style consisted of 1. Get beaten up. 2. Get beaten up a lot more. 3. Elbow. 4. Win. That was how most Savage matches went for a few years including here. Well maybe not the last two but you get the point.

Savage can’t get anything going and Benoit chops away in the corner. There’s the snap suplex as Eric says that historically Superbrawl is one of the biggest PPVs in history. Swan Dive hits as this has been ALL Benoit. Benoit works on the back as apparently he isn’t trying to win so he can wear Savage down for Flair on Sunday.

Out to the floor goes Savage and Benoit tries a suicide dive to the floor but goes short and slams his head onto the foot of the railing. Sick SICK shot and totally legit it seems. Flair runs out to try to give Benoit a chance to remember what planet he’s on. Flair and Anderson beat down Savage for the DQ. Woman also turns heel and beats him up. Hogan makes the save with a chair.

Rating: B-. Given what they had here, this worked rather well. Savage is beaten down for the PPV and Woman turned heel. That spot with Benoit had to be at least partially botch as even Benoit isn’t crazy enough to do that on purpose. Pretty good TV match and always good to see Benoit get a chance to shine.

Savage is helped out so Hogan gets to talk now! The crowd is about 60/40 for Hogan here. Flair sneaks up on Hogan and hits him low. Liz can only watch. Flair goes after the bad eye as Giant comes out. BIG chair shot and Zodiac stops Giant for some reason. Savage comes back out for the save. Randy yells at Liz, asking why didn’t you warn Hogan. That’s a very good question. If you didn’t get it, Liz would turn on Savage at the PPV.

Kevin Sullivan/Hugh Morrus vs. Arn Anderson/Brian Pillman

Before the match we get a clip of their brawl the previous week. Sweet goodness I could listen to that Horsemen music for a long time. Bell rings after a break with Morrus vs. Pillman. I think this is Pillman’s last Nitro. Bischoff points out how scary it is to have Anderson be the sanest guy in the match. Pillman can’t hurt Morrus as this was when they wanted Morrus to be something special I think.

Big press slam puts Pillman down and the same goes for Anderson. We hear about the strap match on Sunday. I’ll post my review of the PPV at the end of this review. Make sure to check that out as it might be the most bizarre stories in wrestling history. Off to Morrus vs. Anderson and Anderson hits a spinebuster for no cover.

Pillman comes in, slaps Morrus and then tags in Anderson. I liked his insane bits back in the day like this. Anderson with a chinlock now as we haven’t had Sullivan in here for the majority of the match. Back off to Pillman and then right back to Anderson. Other than the opening I don’t think the Pillman has been in there longer than 15 seconds.

It’s been about 85% Horsemen here and Morrus is sent to the floor. Pillman sends him into the railing and the laughing dude is starting to laugh. Bischoff says we’re awaiting word from the coroner for word about Hogan and his eye. I give up. Sullivan vs. Pillman now and the fight is on. Sullivan bites his face and wants blood. Anderson saves his partner and Anderson gets a broom broken over his back by someone we can’t see. The Dungeon (Morrus/Sullivan) beats on Pillman with the strap for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Basic brawl for the most part but the Sullivan vs. Pillman was interesting to say the least. It was some of the best acting that has ever happened in wrestling and evolved into Benoit vs. Sullivan. This feud went on forever and thankfully the NWO came in to end it. Basic match but it set up the PPV match well enough.

Marcus Bagwell vs. Ric Flair

Bagwell is an American Male here. Woman is with Flair now. Somehow he looks a bit more effeminate than she does. Paul Orndorff pops up at the announce booth and says you never know when payback is coming. Nothing ever came of this I don’t think. After a quick break we’re back with the bell. Savage has taken Hogan to the hospital. Better than the coroner I guess.

Basic start here as Bagwell beats Flair down for awhile. Yep this is Flair Formula personified. Bagwell uses basic stuff and is all fired up to be in there and having some success with Flair. Flair gets in a cheap shot and here he comes. It’s the same thing every time but it works. Bagwell gets a rollup for two to counter the Figure Four. He misses a crossbody and hits the floor though.

Here comes Flair with some stomps. Back in and we get the Flair knee drop. They slug it out in the corner with Bagwell taking over. And never mind as he gets kicked in the face to take him down. Bagwell gets back up and gets a middle rope suplex for two. Slingshot splash eats knees and I think it’s time to go to school. Yep and it’s over.

Rating: C. Not bad here and a nice little quick shot for Flair before the PPV. This is fine for what it was supposed to be as Bagwell gets to rub elbows with Flair and Flair gets a convincing victory over someone that he should be able to get a convincing victory over. This was fine.

Flair won’t let go until Savage makes the save.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Sting/Lex Luger

This is the blue period for the Warriors that looks stupid. Animal vs. Sting to start. LOUD LOD chant to start us off. Animal might have a bad back here. Naturally Sting works on the arm instead. Sting controls to start and gets a top rope clothesline for two. We come to a pause and Sting shouts to the crowd. See, that’s smart. He keeps the fans from getting cold and just a shout like that can do it.

Off to Hawk and Luger now. Is Sting the weakest person in the match somehow? Big shoulder tackle takes down Luger so it’s off to Sting again. The guy with more singles success moves out of the way of a charge in the corner but can’t get the Scorpion. Off to Animal who is sent into Luger as the champions take over. Luger hammers on the back as the fans chant for the challengers (Road Warriors if that wasn’t clear).

We take an unannounced break as the building lost power apparently. Bischoff implies WWF had something to do with it. What the heck??? TNT is letting the show go on a bit longer because this is a big match, meaning we’re officially beginning the overrun. Front facelock as this match is really pretty boring. Powerslam by Luger takes down Animal.

Everything breaks down and Luger gets a suplex on Animal but walks into a powerslam with no referee. Jimmy Hart comes out of nowhere and slips Luger some big metal plate that is apparently used to keep doors open. He drills Animal in the bad back with it to get the pin to retain. At least it’s over now.

Rating: F+. This was absolutely awful. These four never were able to have a good match together and this was no exception. Sting and Luger didn’t care and the Warriors were so far past their expiration date that it was unreal. Bad match indeed and an odd choice to end the show.

The Road Warriors demand a title shot at the winner of Sting/Luger vs. Harlem Heat, whenever that happens.

Overall Rating: C-. This was decent at times but at the end of the day it feels like it’s just there. Nothing really ever got going with it and while they kind of set up the PPV a bit at the same time this show didn’t need to happen and the PPV build would have been the same thing for the most part. Other than the Woman turn, nothing happened here at all. Not bad but not needed at all.

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Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2002
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This was a requested show and I don’t really know of anything significant on it other than one match which really wasn’t anything special. Anyway, we’re just barely into the WWE era at this point and we have an Undisputed Champion. Oh wait if that’s the case I think I know why this was a requested show, other than the date that is. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Edge talking about getting hurt in a cage match with Angle. He said he’ll be back and that’s tonight. Jericho came out and laughed at him about it, triggering a brawl. Jericho cracked the shoulder with a chair. Later in the night (or month, it’s not really clear) Jericho was about to do the same to Hogan when Jericho’s own music played. Edge came out for the save in his return. You would think this would lead to a match tonight or at the PPV, but it actually lead to a match at the Smackdown after the PPV, which is a little weird.

I miss the Beautiful People as Smackdown’s theme.

Oh I almost forgot: this is right around the time the company switched from WWF to WWE.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. Lance Storm and the UnAmericans cut her off and I think I can hear Finlay being fired from here. Christian asks if the people know why Independence Day is celebrated. It wasn’t the day Will Smith defeated a bunch of aliens you know. Storm tells us what happened back then and about how the Americans went all over the world using its military force where it had no business. Test talks a bit as well. This is going on too long now.

Lance Storm vs. Rikishi

Feeling out process to start and Storm speeds things up. He strikes away and drops down onto the chest on a sunset flip attempt. The other UnAmericans interfere during the Banzai Drop, allowing Test to hit a big boot to Rikishi’s head and knock him to the mat. Storm gets the easy pin. This wasn’t much.

Taker, the Undisputed Champion, is here.

Here’s your historic moment, although it was last week. Kurt Angle issues an open challenge and a young kid debuts and takes the challenge. His name: John Cena.

Stacy goes up to the locker room and Henry answers. She asks if Cena is in there and here he is, in the green trunks and looking like a deer in the headlights. She says Vince wants to see him and he walks off. Stacy likes what she sees.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Jericho rants to Vince about how Edge came back and stopped him from taking out Hogan for good. Vince says Jericho sounds obsessed with Edge. I’m distracted by a swimsuit shot of Stacy in a thong behind him so I have to rewind it for a bit. Vince makes Jericho vs. Edge at Vengeance, which wouldn’t happen. Instead he would face the guy that comes into the office next.

Here’s Cena who is nervous to meet Vince. Vince says that he liked Cena’s performance last week and introduces him to Jericho. Cena extends his hand politely and Jericho rips him apart, talking about how he’s the first undisputed champion and how Cena needs to show respect. He asks what kind of Ruthless Aggression Cena has so Cena slaps him to the floor.

During a break Jericho demands a match with Cena tonight.

Angle talks about beating Cena last week but he feels even better this week. He’s got a world title shot and is feeling strong. He asks Marc Lloyd if he’s seen the new highlight reel. Angle has beaten up Taker and then made Hogan tap at KOTR. Then last week he threw Taker in the ankle lock for just a few seconds. What better night than the Fourth of July for Angle to win the title right?

Billy and Chuck are gay and have hot dogs. Make the jokes yourselves.

Tag Titles: Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Billy/Chuck

This is the big match from this show. Edge is a Hulkamaniac from when he was a kid so this is his dream match. Hulk vs. Chuck starts us off. Hogan is just crazy over here. It’s an old WWF town so that goes without saying. Chuck hammers him into the corner and it’s off to Billy. Edge comes in and hits an Edge-O-Matic for two. Chuck snaps off a pretty sweet overhead belly to belly for two and control. The fans want Hogan as Edge gets tossed over the top. Rico and Billy try to double team him but Rico kicks Billy by mistake. Edge takes Chuck down in the ring and I want you to notice something here.

Hogan has been on the apron for about four minutes and he’s barely stopped moving. It could be pacing back and forth, it could be clapping for Edge, it could be pointing something out to the referee, it could be shouting for Edge to kick out, it could be trying to get the fans to cheer. He doesn’t just stand there uninterested, and the crowd picks up on that. It’s a very important thing you can do in tag wrestling and it gets the fans to notice you. Cena is really good at this. It’s an old rule that I’ve told you time and time again: if you play to the crowd, they’ll respond to you.

Anyway there’s the hot tag to Hogan and he Hulks Up on the way in. Billy is pounded on (he must be used to muscular men doing that to him by now though) as is Chuck. We get the old school double noggin knocker and it’s a big boot to Billy. Chuck hits a superkick to break up the legdrop and Hogan brings Edge back in with a double clothesline off the top. Rico breaks up the spear so Hogan knocks him down. He crotches Rico on the apron and Edge spears Billy for two. A double big boot and a pair of legdrops to Chuck are enough to give Hogan his first tag title.

Rating: B-. I can’t help but smile at this. This wasn’t supposed to be a serious match and if you get mad about Hogan doing this you miss the point. This was about feeling good and nostalgic and giving Edge a rub. This did all of that and was actually a pretty good tag match on top of that. Hogan as basically the Andre to Edge’s Haku was perfect for him and this was really fun. They would lose the titles in less than three weeks but this was what the whole thing was about and it worked perfectly. Very fun match and moment.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Dig that totally generic rock music for Cena! Cena charges in but gets beaten down quickly. He spears Jericho down and pounds away and they go to the floor. Back in the ring Cena hits a slingshot and spinebuster for two. He’s got a fire in his eyes and you can see the star in him if they mold him properly. Jericho heads to the floor and suckers Cena in to take over. He takes too much time coming off the middle rope though and jumps into a dropkick.

Powerslam gets a very close two. He counters the Walls and this a DDT for another two. A corner splash misses for the American and Jericho takes him down with the bulldog. Lionsault misses and Cena hits his second high angle spinebuster for two. However Jericho is too good for him as he backflips out of a belly to back and hits a Flashback (sleeper drop) and pins Cena with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: B. Very fun match here which at the time was shocking. Remember that this is Cena’s second match on TV and he’s taken Jericho and Angle to the limit. They would fight again at Vengeance and Jericho would actually get beaten fairly clean. As a little trivia, to the best of my knowledge, this is the only time that Jericho has ever beaten Cena one on one on TV or PPV. Think about that for a minute. They’ve fought so many times and Jericho only won the first one.

Jericho offers a handshake post match and tries to beat him up but Cena hits the Protobomb and stands tall.

Rey Mysterio is coming.

Here’s a clip from Raw where the NWO and Shawn Michaels said that HHH would be joining the NWO.

We go back to Divas Undressed on Saturday where Torrie won the Golden Thong Award. Stacy says it was because Torrie sleeps with Maven, who was a judge. Torrie said Stacy was sleeping with Vince. Naturally we’re having a bra and panties match to settle things.

Earlier today, Jamie Noble and Nidia celebrate their new found fortune by getting a new truck and a new trailer because Noble’s aunt died. Oh and he has money now that he’s Cruiserweight Champion. Running water almost makes Nidia cry. They break in the bed.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

Bra and panties remember. What do you want me to say here? They try to do some moves, most of them don’t work, they strip each other, they’re both hot, Torrie wins. She strips too.

We get a recap of the ladder match from Monday with Jeff vs. Taker, which I need to get to someday. Hardy got destroyed over and over again but he kept getting up after the match. Taker hit a Last Ride and Hardy got up again, saying he was still standing. Taker raised his hand and stopped hurting him.

Taker says he’s upset at Vince because Vince said Taker faces Rock at Vengeance whether Taker is still champion or not.

WWE World Title: The Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Taker runs over him with power to start and Angle bails to the outside. I think these are both tweeners at this point. Angle keeps trying to run Taker down and it doesn’t work at all. Finally he wakes up and takes it to the mat. Angle celebrates an armdrag and gets kicked to the floor for his troubles. Snake Eyes/big boot combo get two. Angle counters the chokeslam into a German to shift control again.

It turns into a fist fight in the corner with Taker gaining control. Shoulder block puts Kurt down as does a DDT for two. Here comes the Tombstone but Angle slides down and hooks the ankle lock and Taker is in trouble. That gets reversed but an Angle Slam (which looked like it was in slow motion) gets two. Ankle lock on again and Taker’s escape gets a big pop. Chokeslam puts Kurt down but the ankle injury keeps him from immediately covering.

Here’s the almost famous ending. Taker loads up the Last Ride but Angle wraps his legs around Taker’s neck in a triangle choke. Taker bends down into kind of a rollup. The three count hits at the same time that Taker taps (although if you watch very carefully, Taker starts tapping before the three hits. It’s less than half a second though so it’s fair). There’s no winner so there would be a triple threat at Vengeance.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here between two guys that could do big matches like these with ease. Tazz’s eventual line summarizing this was perfect: The Undisputed Title is disputed. If I remember right this was something that happened in a UFC main event and was one of the first signs of WWE paying attention to them. I remember reading that somewhere so it may not be accurate. Anyway, good match.

Overall Rating: A-. Huge and I mean REALLY huge show tonight with all kinds of stuff happening. It’s fascinating to look at these guys at this point and imaging what they would become. Orton is probably the least likely as he had nothing going for him at all. He would injure his shoulder and become a cocky heel and that was all he needed. Anyway, great show and really interesting stuff.

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NXT
Date: December 20, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

We’re at the next to last show of the year on this season and it’s becoming pretty clear this is going to go on to the beginning of the WWE Network. Therefore, there’s almost no point to paying attention to this show. However, if I was going with that philosophy I would have been out of here months ago. Let’s get to it.

This 4pm thing is ridiculous. It’s 6:40 and I’ve been checking on things every 20 minutes or so and it’s just now up.

Here’s Bateman to open things up. During Bateman’s entrance we recap the Percy Watson show from last week. He says he’s here to win and win back the Courtney to his Kurt and the Bonnie to his Clyde (aren’t both of those men dead?). Striker says they have to work together and be partners here. Curtis shows us a still of him kissing Maxine and then offers a handshake.

Usos vs. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis

The Siva Tao makes me want to invade a small country. Bateman starts and the brothers take turns beating on him. Once he finally gets a bit of a break though, Curtis tags himself in. It doesn’t go very well for him either though as the Samoans hammer away. Curtis gets a hard clothesline for two and the fans aren’t really interested. He goes over to tag in Bateman but Derrick walks away. It doesn’t take long for the Superfly Splash from Jimmy to get the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D. The match was pretty much nothing but that was the point. The Usos are light years better than everyone and that’s been obvious for months, so I’m getting tired of seeing them wasted in stuff like this. Curtis is about as uninteresting as anyone I’ve seen in years, but it’s just NXT so it’s not so bad.

Trent Barretta asks Yoshi to watch his back against Hawkins tonight since Reks will be out there. Yoshi says sure but after Trent leaves, Yoshi gets jumped by Hawkins/Reks and locked in a utility closet.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta

Striker goes on a rant against Hawkins and Reks for making fun of legends on their Youtube show. If he doesn’t like them, why does he keep booking them on NXT if he has matchmaking abilities? Hawkins takes over to start and hits a slam for two. Hawkins keeps beating on him and heads to the floor to yell at Striker who yells right back. Trent fights back and the fans are SILENT. A running knee gets two for Trent. He goes up but has to kick Reks down, allowing Hawkins to finish Trent with a move that starts as a reverse neckbreaker, but he spins forward to slam Trent’s face into the mat for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. I like Barretta but he couldn’t overcome the boredom of the crowd here. Nothing special at all but I guess it sets up drama between Yoshi and Trent which is the latest place they’re going here that has nothing to do with NXT but they have to fill in an hour either way. Also, who comes up with these dull finishers? All these face slam moves are getting old.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Maxine’s outfits really aren’t PG. Kaitlyn dominates to start and shows off her range of offense, going big with a legdrop. Maxine fights back and chokes away. This is the usual boring stuff from the Divas. Maxine hits her in the chest and hooks a standing guillotine choke. Kaitlyn fires off some but Maxine keeps beating her down. Cue Bateman who says he’s been looking everywhere for Maxine. The distraction lets Kaitlyn roll her up at 3:03.

Rating: D. Other than the chest strike thing, this was rather dull. Somehow this was WAY better than the Raw and Smackdown Divas who are just awful at this point. It’s amazing what happens when they’re down in FCW with trainers and get to actually practice a bit isn’t it? This was nothing special though.

Bateman begs forgiveness and sings the Righteous Brothers’ You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling but gets blasted by Curtis. Maxine walks out on both of them.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Good to see Kidd back on the show though. Percy starts off with his power game and he hammers Tyson into the corner. The referee tells him to get out of there and Percy actually says yes sir. Very nice to see some manners. Just because you’re in combat and trying to get a full time job, there’s no excuse for rudeness. Kidd takes over and uses his feet to take over. Off to a dragon sleeper which Percy escapes pretty easily. He fires off some dropkicks and adds a belly to belly for two. They go to the corner and Percy gets guillotined on the top rope. That and a springboard elbow drop are enough for Tyson to pin him at 4:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad and it’s nice to see Tyson back on screen. He would have been the prime candidate for an NXT Title if they’d ever just get to one. Either way, this was fine for power vs. speed and that’s all it needed to be. Watson is kind of floundering and I think a heel turn might be in the cards for him.

Same video on the Tribute to the Troops from Monday.

Bateman and Curtis almost get into a fight in Striker’s office so he makes a match between them for next week.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Darren Young is on commentary and his arm is in a sling. Titus uses the power game to start (common theme tonight) as Young says that he’s better than anyone on Raw or Smackdown. Titus throws JTG to the floor and barks. He gets crotched on the ring skirt though and JTG takes over. To the chinlock! Titus powers out of it and hammers away, hitting a powerslam for two. Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:55.

Rating: D. Not much here but it wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t particularly good hence the grade, but the point of this was to have Titus look dominant before the post match shenanigans with Young happened. JTG just doesn’t work as a heel because of his size and that he’s more annoying than menacing.

Post match Darren stares Titus down as JTG trips Titus up. Darren rips off his sling as his arm is fine. The post match beatdown ensues.

Overall Rating: D+. You know, this show has potential. They got it back to being like an old school territorial show and I can live with that. If there was a title on this show and you keep in mind that the stakes are as low as you can have while still having stakes, you can enjoy this show. Not a terrible show and if they can keep this style, I could see this show becoming almost ok.

Results
Usos b. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis – Superfly Splash to Curtis
Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barretta – Neckbreaker into a face slam
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Springboard Elbow Drop
Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

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Continental Wrestling Federation TV
Date: October 8, 1988
Location: Civic Center, Montgomery, Alabama
Commentators: Charlie Platt, Dutch Mantell

Back again with the second of four straight weeks of TV that I have here. We’re done with the Road to Birmingham now so it should be interesting to see where things go. Gilbert is gone, Pritchard is the champion, the tag titles didn’t change hands, and other than that there isn’t much else I can think of. Let’s get to it.

A masked guy is gunning for the Dirty White Boy. No name is given for him.

This is the “Showing of the Stars”, whatever that means. The voiceover lists off some of the people in action tonight.

Private Powell vs. Davey Rich

Well at least it’s not Davey Richards. He’s part of the Party Patrol you would hear about in the previous week’s show. The ring is small, like a WCW one. Rich takes over with a headscissors and a headlock. He works the arm which goes on for awhile. I think they botch a flip of some sort as I think Powell was supposed to use a monkey flip kind of thing but Rich jumped and crotched himself. Back to the arm and this is REALLY dull. Rich is in Hogan colors. They botch a sunset flip out of the corner and Rich gets the pin.

Rating: F. So they spent five minutes working on the arm and botching half of the moves they were trying? This was awful and there was nothing redeeming at all, even imaging Hogan being a member of the Party Patrol. Nothing to see here and not a good sign for the rest of the show.

The Bullet (Bob Armstrong in a mask, the guy that opened the show) is here but first let’s hear about those house shows. Bullet says that there are a lot of people here with talent and that’s about it. Dirty White Boy comes out to call him out and the match is next.

The Bullet vs. Dirty White Boy

They immediately slug it out and apparently this is a big feud. The White Boy (also known as Tony Anthony. Isn’t that a little redundant?) hammers away to take over. This is more of a brawl than a match, but with the names in there, were you expecting anything else? Off to a chinlock by Anthony. Make that a LONG chinlock which gets two arm drops. Bullet hits a clothesline and starts his comeback. There’s a whip brought in from somewhere and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D-. This was only somewhat better but it’s mostly punching and chinlocks. Oh before I forget: Anthony was in WWF for awhile as T.L. Hopper if you remember him. Bullet is Road Dogg’s dad and that’s about the extent of his fame. Not much of a match and I’m assuming the history of this is a lot more interesting.

Post match Jerry Stubbs and the Dirty White Girl (seriously) comes in for a beatdown. The Party Patrol makes the save.

Since this is an old TV show, we get part of a commercial. This commercial features ERNEST P. WORRELL!!!!!! He’s from Lexington so he’s kind of a local hero.

The announcers talk about how the Rich Cousins (Party Patrol) are awesome. If you don’t believe us, here’s a taped match with them in it.

Pat Rose/Deuce Mason vs. Davey Rich/Johnny Rich

Johnny vs. Rose gets us going. Off to Deuce and this is looking like a total squash. Yep a shoulder block (seriously?) ends this in like 40 seconds.

Ken Wayne is here on commentary for the next match. He’s the US Junior Heavyweight Champion again.

Tom Pritchard vs. The Grappler II

This is after the Road to Birmingham tournament which Pritchard won but there’s no reference or title to be seen. He references having his hair and having a new car so this is after the Birmingham show. Grappler is a guy in a mask and the original was a huge deal in Portland. Ok so Pritchard is officially Heavyweight Champion. My guess is this was taped before the Birmingham show with commentary added later. Very basic match and we talk about the Night of Champions coming up. Pritchard controls with a headlock….and that’s enough of that.

We cut to the back where White Boy and Stubbs (the new tag champions which wasn’t mentioned when they were in the ring) talking about Bullet and the Rich Cousins. They switch to an inset window and Pritchard keeps the headlock the whole time. Grappler finally hits a suplex to take over and we talk about an elimination tag match coming up. They’re not exactly Survivor Series matches and the rules are too complex to figure out. Jerry Stubbs is called Mr. Perfect here. That gimmick was either about to start in WWF or already had.

Grappler hooks something resembling a chinlock but it’s more like a nerve hold. Pritchard makes the comeback and Wayne complains about everything he does. I guess this is to build up to a match between them. Pritchard hits a spin kick to the ribs and makes his real comeback. Grappler slams him and drops a leg for two. Pritchard hooks a backslide but the time limit runs out at two. The new heavyweight champion just wrestled to a draw in his first match as champion. WOW.

Rating: D. Honestly when this match was going on for awhile, I jokingly thought to myself that they would go to a draw in the first match in Pritchard’s reign, but then chuckled and said there’s no way they would do that. AND THEN THEY DID IT. The match was nothing special, but I don’t get the booking here in the slightest.

Big brawl post match. Wayne offers to let the announcer touch his hair before he goes.

White Lightning (this company borders on racial issues with these white themed names) talks about the elimination matches they mentioned earlier. We get an old match of Horner’s and the announcer tells us he wins. Well thanks for the drama.

Tim Horner vs. Private Powell

Did the world really demand two Private Powell matches? Bullett is on commentary. Powell takes over to start but walks into an atomic drop and bridging O’Connor Roll for the pin. Lasted maybe 90 seconds.

Willie B. Hert vs. The Counteract

Willie is your standard happy dancing black character. Count is in an executioner hood and I don’t see this going long. Willie beats him up and sends him to the floor. Instead of following up, it’s a dance party. Willie works on the arm and the crowd is DEAD. A suplex gets two. There’s a forearm and it’s finally done. That was like six or seven minutes lone somehow.

Rating: D-. Does this company get paid by the arm work? They seem to LOVE that kind of stuff and it wasn’t anything to see here. Hert isn’t interesting but is supposed to be a fun character I’d assume. Nothing to see here but that’s to be expected in this company it would seem.

Willie talks about Night of Champions but some blonde guy comes up and yells at him. He’s a champion of some sort. Oh that’s Wayne….again. They get in the ring and their match is next time.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a very different show this week but more boring. There was no real focus of the show and it seemed like they were all over the place. Pritchard vs. Grappler is long and that’s about all it had going for it. Not much here, but lucky me I get to do two more weeks of it. Anyway, not much to see here but at least it’s a pretty short TV show.

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Continental Wrestling Federation TV
Date: October 1, 1988
Location: Boutwell Auditorium, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Charlie Platt, Joe Petecino

Ok so when I found four shows labeled CWF, I thought it was Championship Wrestling From Florida, not Continental. Continental is a pretty much forgotten company which ran in the southeast, namely around Alabama, Tennesee and the Gulf Coast with some shots in north Florida as well. It was owned by the Fuller Family, which is more known as Colonel Robert Parker’s family. This isn’t a well known company because it was surrounded by bigger companies, but let’s take a look at it anyway. I have four consecutive episodes of their TV show (which aired on the Financial News Network for some reason) so let’s get to it.

We open with the United States Junior Heavyweight Champion Nightmare Ken Wayne, saying he’ll defend his title today on television. The records I can find say he won it on this day so one of these dates is wrong. He mentions a big show in Birmingham, which I believe is part of the Road to Birmingham tournament, which was their Wrestlemania style show I think. It was nothing compared to what it was supposed to be, due to a ton of political stuff going on.

Wayne’s partner, Nightmare Danny Davis (OVW owner) says he wants the title. They would trade it like four times each.

A voiceover runs down the card and the hosts welcome us to the show. Something happened last week but it’s not mentioned. Eddie Gilbert, a big deal in the indies around this time and I believe the booker here, has something to say. As best I can tell, this is the Road to Birmingham show, which is taking place in Birmingham. Either that or it’s in two days. Some guy comes out and I don’t think that’s Gilbert. He talks about the upcoming show where they’ll crown the CWF world and tag champions.

Some other guy (no one is named here) comes out and says that he and his Wild Samoans will win the tag titles. If they lose though, they’re out of the territory.

We get an ad for the Road to Birmingham show which will have the tournament final for the first ever CWF Championship. From what I can find, this would be the same title in a company called Southeast Championship Wrestling, but when they closed and the CWF replaced it, the title was retired and it’s being resurrected here. If that sounds confusing, you’re not alone. This territory stuff and who has the lineage of what titles can make nuclear physics look like reading Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Lord Humongous/Shane Douglas vs. Ricky Siegler/Deuce Mason

Humongous is Sid Vicious in a Jason mask. He and Shane are already tag champions so the match with the Samoans is just a title vs. leave town match. The other two guys (I think the first name is right. It’s either that or Buck Seger) are jobbers I think. Sid busts out a dropkick and it wasn’t half bad. Ok that time they DEFINITELY said Bucky. We’ll stick with what I have though. Sid destroys Bucky/Ricky/whatever his name is and we hear that Sid’s name is Hugo. He press slams Shane onto Siegler to end it. This barely lasted a minute.

Shane says they’ll win on Monday. I’d assume this was taped in advance which would explain the date issue. They would keep the titles.

More house show ads.

US Junior Heavyweight Title: Ken Wayne vs. Danny Davis

Wayne is champion and they’re partners here. From what I understand, there’s going to be a hair vs. hair match on Monday (Road to Birmingham). Nelson Royal, the world Junior Heavyweight Champion comes in to shake their hands. He doesn’t seem to like Davis at all. Royal gets in on commentary. He says he’s here to scout. Davis controls to start and takes him down to the mat, working on the arm.

Wayne nips up a few times but Davis sends him to the floor and the crowd likes him. Royal talks about going to Yugoslavia for some reason. Something different about this show is that they have cameras on all four sides so you have to keep an eye on the CWF letters on the mat to tell where things are facing. Wayne fires a punch to take over as he’s the heel here. I think they’re still partners but I’m not sure.

You can tell this is from the 80s as no one uses anything bigger than a middle rope elbow, which gets two for Wayne. Davis fights back and they collide. Royal offers a distraction as Wayne pulls out a chain. Davis has one of his own though and pops Wayne with it for the pin and the title. NICE.

Rating: D+. Boring match, but the ending was awesome with some great thinking. The idea of having them know each other so well and them being former partners is great as Davis knew what was coming and blasted Wayne with it instead. I was bored during the match but the end helped things out a lot here. I really liked that ending and it’s given me some hope for the rest of the show.

Davis, in a pre-taped promo, says he’ll win. He’s also putting up his car against Eddie Gilbert’s $25,000 backing Wayne. I’d hope they’re not partners anymore because this is a pretty hateful promo.

Wayne counters by saying that they have a long history and Davis was the one that turned his back on Wayne, not the other way around. Not as good as Davis’ interview.

Eddie Gilbert apparently has been having more medical tests and isn’t well. Gilbert talks about being injured a few years ago in a car wreck and being brought in because people believed in him. A few weeks ago he reinjured himself and he’s not sure what his future has in store for him. One of the commentators isn’t sure what’s going on here because Gilbert has been a very evil man lately. He lists off the stuff Gilbert has done lately and now he’s injured.

Gilbert says he wouldn’t believe himself. To prove himself though, he gives a check for $25,000 to the other announcer to give to whoever needs it most. That’s the money he and Dangerously (Heyman) put up in the hair vs. hair match. If he doesn’t win the title on Monday, he’ll quit wrestling. This would be a way for him to leave the company due to management issues. He was supposed to win the title but that didn’t happen.

More house show ads. It’s an indy thing.

Dr. Tom Pritchard vs. Jerry Stubbs

No idea what he’s a doctor of but I don’t think it’s Thuganomics. Stubbs is a former partner I think and the announcers say if you saw the TV show last week, you know what happened. Commentary is a failure here I guess. Pritchard speeds things up and takes over on the arm. After a brief beatdown by Stubbs, Pritchard takes over and signals for his finisher (whatever that is) but the Dangerous Alliance runs in for the DQ. Some blonde guy runs out with a steel bar for the save. Oh it’s Austin Idol. You 80s fans will know that name. Pritchard would win the tournament on Monday.

The Dangerous Alliance (Dirty White Boy, Ken Wayne and Nightmare Freddy, a masked guy) says that Dirty White Boy (that really is his name) will win the title and Wayne will get his title back. As far as Gilbert, Dangerously doesn’t want to talk Paul E. Dangerously and Eddie Gilbert. He wants to talk Paul Heyman and Thomas Edward Gilbert. That money is his life savings including money he got from his father. He invested it in a stud named Eddie Gilbert but instead of winning the race (he’s using a Kentucky Derby analogy) he broke his leg. You put a horse with a broken leg out of its misery with a bullet to the head.

Cue Jerry Stubbs from the previous match who wants to be in the Alliance. Dangerously says that if Stubbs can do a few things to prove himself, he can be in. Stubbs says that’s cool.

Doug Furnace vs. Dutch Mantel

Yes Furnace is spelled that way on the graphics. Stubbs jumps him and beats him down with…..a coat rack? Seriously? A COAT RACK??? WHY WAS THERE A COAT RACK READILY AVAILABLE??? Mantel makes the save. Due to the beating Furnace is out so we get a replacement.

Dutch Mantel vs. Pat Rose

Rose is a familiar name but I’m not sure who he is. Mantel is kind of a cowboy but not really. He wins with a quick gordbuster.

Austin Idol hypes the Road to Birmingham.

Dangerously does the same.

Missy’s Manor, an interview segment, ends this. The guests are a team called the Party Patrol who are back after leaving for awhile. They talk about Eddie Gilbert for a bit and say they don’t care about the money. They’re happy to be back and that’s about it.

Dirty White Boy vs. ???

The bell rings with less than a minute left in the video. He destroys the unnamed jobber and gets the pin off something we don’t see due to looking at the announcers. The credits were rolling before the three count.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s hard to complain about this because I have no idea what’s going on here. They hyped up the Road to Birmingham show every single chance they could get and it worked pretty well. Nothing to see here for the most part but I’ve seen worse. The wrestling isn’t exactly the focal point of things, but it wasn’t that bad. We’ll see if the next week was any better.

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By that I mean PPV.  There are too many Impacts to name.I’ll go with Victory Road I guess.  The show wasn’t any good before whatever Hardy vs. Sting was and that caps it as well as anything could.  For WWE, I guess I’ll go with Capital Punishment, but I didn’t really think about it all that hard.

Your picks/thoughts?