Best of the WWF Volume 9 – Can Someone Get This Company A Definition Of The Word Best?

Best of the WWF Volume 9
Hosts: Johnny Valiant, Gorilla Monsoon
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Alfred Hayes, Billy Red Lyons

We have two to go in this series and I have some time to kill today so this ends now. This one is from late 86 so it’s hard to say what to expect on here. There seems to be fewer match on this tape though so maybe they’ll be longer? It’s hard to tell on these as they’re such a mixed bag. Let’s get to it.

Coliseum Video intro gets my toes tapping.

The hosts run down the card and Valiant kind of goes insane about the boot camp match.

Intercontinental Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

From Toronto and I’d bet this is the best match on the tape. I think we’re joined very early in this with Steamboat working on the arm. Savage is defending of course. Steamboat cranks on the arm and speeds things up to confuse Savage. Gorilla and Heenan get in an argument over Heenan not being able to talk. Gorilla: “Go ahead, the floor is your’s.” Heenan: “I don’t want the floor, I want the microphone.” Gorilla: “Go ahead.” Heenan: “I don’t care to say anything right now.” I love these two.

Steamboat stays on the arm as is his custom. Savage gets the rope but the referee kicks his arm off like he’s cheating. What a jerk! More arm work by Steamboat so Savage takes him to the ropes for the break. It works because Steamboat is in there and the referee yells at Savage. What’s up with this guy? Heenan recommends choking Streamboat because he’s just a mean guy.

Savage manages to send him into the corner and Steamboat falls to the floor. Back in and an elbow puts Ricky down and the top rope ax handle gets two. He tries another but Steamboat gets in a punch to the ribs. They head to the floor for a brief slugout where Ricky takes over. Back inside Steamboat hits a top rope chop for two and a double chop puts Randy down for the same result.

Savage shoves Steambaot into the referee and everyone is down. Heenan thinks it was just an accident of course and then blames it on Steamboat. They fight over a backslide and the referee is back up. This referee counts slow and it’s two here. Savage is busted open but manages to pull out a foreign object. It hits Steamboat in the eyes but doesn’t knock him down. Savage falls to the floor and eventually pulls Steamboat out too. They brawl for awhile and Steamboat beats the count in by about half a second.

Rating: B. Hey what a shock: two masters have a great match. They just did their thing and it was an excellent match. It’s not exactly Detroit in 87, but then again what is? This was a much slower paced match but it’s still very good in its own right. Good stuff here as always and this isn’t going to be topped on this show. If it does I’ll be stunned.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Hart Foundation

In Boston here and this would be heel vs. heel. The Harts are the faces by default and get cheered as a result. They also break up the Russian national anthem to really ensure their cheers. Even Gorilla acknowledges that no one cheers the Harts most of the time. The Harts clear the ring and eventually we start with Bret vs. Nikolai. Off to Sheik before anything happenes.

Bret sends him to the floor pretty easily as the Harts are in desperate need of a better team than this to face. Sheik gets him in the heel (I guess) corner but he misses a boot so Volkoff gets knocked down. Nikolai does get up to break up the middle rope elbow and Neidhart is shoved away. Sheik can take over now and brings in Nikolai who gets caught in a sunset flip which the referee misses.

The team that should have been called the Iron Curtain uses the classic basic heel moves to control as Sheik runs through his array of offense: abdominal stretch, gutwrench suplex and camel clutch, the final of which is broken up by Jim. Bret blocks some suplexes and it’s off to Neidhart. Jim cleans house with a bunch of dropkicks but Sheik breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and Sheik pulls Neidhart’s leg to break up a slam and Volkoff falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Bad match and it’s not the right pairing for the Harts at all. They’re much better against the speed teams and since there was at least one for them to fight in the Killer Bees, I’m assuming there’s something up here. Not much of a match and pretty short, but the Harts did what they could. It just didn’t work all that well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

This is a boot camp match which basically means street fight. The idea here is American hero vs. evil foreigner, which makes so much sense as we’re in CANADA. Volkoff runs a lot which doesn’t work as Kischner drops him with some shots. A low blow stops the Corporal and Volkoff takes over. Other than the low blow which might not have been seen anyway, the gimmick has only meant Nikolai is in camouflage pants.

Out to the ramp and Nikolai slams him out there a few times. And now back in because going into a big brawl might be too interesting. Back to the floor and this is going absolutely nowhere. Volkoff somehow manages to hit a pair of chair shots so bad that it actually makes the match EVEN MORE boring. He hammers on the Corporal with a belt and clotheslines him down with it.

Sunset flip gets two for Corporal and he starts his comeback. The fans wake up quickly but Kirschner makes sure to wait awhile between each move. Volkoff is losing his pants. And never mind as Kirschner is sent to the floor again. While he’s out there the Corporal takes off his boot. A shot with that is enough to finally end this nonsense.

Rating: F. I forgot this was a gimmick match most of the time. First off, Volkoff is so slow that it couldn’t get going no matter what was going on. Couple that with those HORRIBLE chair shots (I mean they didn’t even make noise) and there was no way for this to be anything resembling good at all.

Junkyard Dog/Andre the Giant/Jimmy Snuka vs. John Studd/Ken Patera/Jesse Ventura

This is two weeks before Wrestlemania and in MSG. Isn’t that pushing things pretty close together? Dog vs. Patera gets us going and the fans are already into it. Andre is in quickly and the dominance begins. Patera is knocked all over the place and Heenan tries to calm him down. Off to JYD again and Patera can barely stand up. Andre runs Patera off again and it all breaks down pretty quickly.

The heels take over and it’s off to Jesse who uses his usual stuff. In kind of a surprise, Jesse tries to ram Dog’s head into the buckle and it works as well as it always does. Here comes Snuka and the fans go crazy. Jesse gets in a shot though and the heels take over. Studd comes in and Andre wants a piece of him but has to wait a few weeks. Off to a bearhug to Snuka and the heels use the old switcheroo to bring back Patera.

Jesse comes in and we complete the trio of bearhugs. Back to Studd who bearhugs him as well. The place is going to erupt when Andre comes in. Jimmy breaks the hold and tags Andre. I was right about the place erupting. It’s a battle of the giants but Patera breaks up the slam. Studd runs and it’s off to Jesse. Everything breaks down and Snuka splashes Jesse for the pin while Andre runs interference.

Rating: D. Very boring match for the most part but the MSG reactions for Andre and Snuka were just great. Those two could do no wrong back then, which is probably what made the heel turn for Andre work so well. Boring match but a good ending which helped it a little bit. The Superfly Splash is always worth seeing.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Sivi Afi/King Tonga

Tonga is Meng/Haku and is in the middle of a small push as he tries to slam Studd. He succeeded at a house show but it was after a match was over. Tonga and Studd start with the power stuff. Tonga throws him to the floor and rams him into the post to take over. Back in Studd jumps off the top for a forearm shot and Tonga is in trouble.

As I say that he comes back with a superkick and Studd is reeling. Tonga fires away and dances. A headbutt keeps Studd down and there’s a slam which should be $15,000 but Heenan would always have an excuse of some sort. Afi comes in and gets tossed around but isn’t really hurt. Bundy comes in and the size and power catch up with the islanders. Afi takes him down and splashes him for two.

Afi looks a lot like Jimmy Snuka. He doesn’t have anywhere near the talent but that never stopped people before. Studd and Bundy pound him down and this is going on forever. Tonga comes in and Bundy drops a knee on him which gets the pin. Bundy tried to pull up but it got counted anyway. At least it’s over.

Rating: D-. This tape is AWFUL. This was basically a squash and probably the end of the run for King Tonga. Afi never went anywhere and I have no idea what happened to him. Bundy and Studd would continue to beat on people including the feud with the Machines which is an old favorite of mine. Other than that there isn’t much going on at all with them and they’d leave pretty soon.

Cowboy Lang vs. Lord Littlebrook

And it’s a midget match. This is in MSG and I have no idea what to talk about here. There aren’t any stories to them and there aren’t really any characters so what’s the point in these? Lang tries a few full nelsons and the crowd doesn’t care. Littlebrook bites the fingers so Lang bites him and the referee. This is a “comedy” match which as usual in these matches, as is the lack of comedy. Lang wins a reverse rolling victory roll. I’m not rating it of course but this was just as bad as any midget match.

Battle Royal

Thankfully they give us an entrants list: Junkyard Dog, Harley Race, Billy Jack Haynes, King Kong Bundy, Sivi Afi, Brutus Beefcake, Bobby Heenan, Pedro Morales, Lanny Poffo, Mike Sharpe, Moondog Spot, Jimmy Hart, King Tonga, Big John Studd, Dynamite Kid, Davey Boy Smith, Greg Valentine, Johnny Valiant, SD Jones, Tony Garea, Moondog Rex, Tony Atlas. The British Bulldogs were listed twice for some reason. The winner gets 50 grand.

Everyone immediately puts Studd and Bundy out as Jimmy Hart dives to the floor. Heenan gets tossed out quickly and things slow down as you would expect them to do. Jimmy is under the ring. SD Jones goes out and this is a pretty slow battle royal which is ok. Mike Sharpe goes out as does Atlas. Valiant is tossed. There’s nothing else to talk about in this.

There goes Garea. Race looks different here with the brown hair. I know that’s his more famous look but it’s different here. Speaking of Race, he’s out as is Afi. That puts him down to about ten people. The Bulldogs hit stereo dropkicks to take Moondogs at the same time. There are nine left. Dynamite Kid is gone and everyone is on the same side of the ring. I believe there are 8 left.

Pedro gets caught on the top and Valentine hits him enough to get rid of him. Beefcake is thrown out and we’re down to Poffo, Haynes, Smith, Dog, Tonga and Valentine, or five good guys vs. Valentine. He manages to dump Haynes and Tonga in a few seconds. Smith charges but Valentine low bridges him, then does the same thing to Poffo.

We’re down to Dog and Valentine in the ring. Dog is thrown to the outside but it’s through the middle ropes. That goes nowhere until Dog manages to headscissor Valentine out but he falls out too. And then Jimmy Hart comes in and is declared the winner because he went under the ropes earlier. The fans LOUDLY boo this out of the building but it’s totally legal.

Rating: D+. Not much here but they gave us a good ending. You know that the fans in MSG are going to freak out in the end for something like that. Good fun match here and definitely the best match on the tape other than the opener which are the only two good matches here.

Overall Rating: F+. Other than the opener and a one joke match, this was HORRIBLE. 1986 was a very bad time for the WWF and since there’s some weird No Hogan Rule on a lot of these tapes, there isn’t anything really interesting going on most of the time. This was like the bottom of the barrel for the company, which doesn’t scream Best to me.

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