No Mercy 2004
Date: October 3, 2004
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This finally finished downloading so I can stop watching Alabama wrestling shows. The main event here is JBL vs. Undertaker in a Last Ride match which is an ambulance match but with a hearse instead. Other than that there’s pretty much nothing of interest on this entire card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how there’s no such thing as mercy, spread around between the various top feuds. That’s your first sign of a bad show: a lazy opening video.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

If I remember right, Reigns was part of Angle’s team at this point along with Jindrak and of course Angle. Reigns starts with the power game but Eddie dropkicks the knee to take over. BIG Eddie chant starts but it dies pretty quickly. Jindrak is at ringside too. Snapmare gets two for Eddie. Luther comes back with a delayed gorilla press for two. There’s a bear hug as I’m starting to remember why I was bored with Reigns most of the time.

Eddie escapes with a poke in the eye but gets his head kicked off for two. Some left hands get the same result. Off to a surfboard hold to waste some time. Belly to back gets two. Luther hits a backbreaker and bends Eddie over. Over his knee you sick freaks. Eddie rolls to the floor for a second before coming back in and trying to go a bit amateur on Luther. Back to the backbreaker with Eddie being bent over the knee.

Powerslam gets two but when Luther tries Roll the Dice (Cross Rhodes), Eddie climbs the ropes and backflips into a reverse DDT for a close two. Eddie pounds away at the ribs and Luther is in trouble. Guerrero loads up Three Amigos but can only get two of them. He goes to the floor holding his ribs. Must be Mama Guerrero’s Taco Surprise.

While he’s near the railing, Eddie steals a blackjack or a police baton from a cop. Eddie brings in a chair which Luther steals, but Eddie dropkicks the chair into Jindrak’s face. Luther is knocked down as well but Eddie misses the Frog Splash. While the referee puts the chair out, Eddie hits Luther with the baton and the Frog Splash wins this.

Rating: C. Not a terrible opening but this is similar to what Eddie did for about a year and a half. It was clever once in awhile but the whole pretending to do something while doing something else got a little bit old to me. Never bad mind you, but kind of repetitive. Not a bad match but it went too long.

We recap the Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda feud. Jackie was with Charlie Haas and engaged but Dawn said she was with Charlie when Jackie wasn’t paying attention. Josh (sounding like he went through reverse puberty) asks her why Dawn did that and she says she’ll do it again tonight. Dawn goes in to see Jackie who is topless. Dawn says Charlie is being blackmailed into marrying her. Oral sex is implied.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Nunzio

Spike is EVIL and defending. He’s the Dudley Boss here or something like that. Nunzio got a non-title win to get this shot. They go into a long collar and elbow sequence but Nunzio comes back with right forearms. He hiptosses Spike to the floor as I wonder why this isn’t on Smackdown. Some quick pinfall attempt get two. Spike gets sent to the floor again and Nunzio hits a dive, getting two back inside.

He goes up but Bubba shoves him off to change momentum. Spike uses some of the same rollups that Nunzio used, one of which gets reversed into a Nunzio two count. Johnny the Bull is outside also, meaning we have far too many people here for a Cruiserweight Title match. Spike hooks a full nelson on the mat. Tazz says Cole’s finishing move would be a quarter nelson. Cole says he’d call it the Cole-plex.

Nunzio makes his comeback but gets thrown to the floor. Spike follows him out there but gets backdropped. A backslide gets two in the ring for the challenger. Johnny and D-Von get into it on the floor so Bubba can crotch Nunzio on the post. Spike gets the easy pin to retain. Yep that was lame.

Rating: D+. For everyone that says there needs to be a Cruiserweight Title again, I’d point them to the title after about 2003. The matches and feuds were thrown together and the matches didn’t mean anything at all. This went nowhere and wasn’t an interesting match at all, although there are better Cruiserweights on the roster so maybe this is a bad example.

Undertaker career highlight: beating Hogan for the title.

We recap London vs. Kidman. They were a tag team who won the titles for awhile but Kidman messed up a Shooting Star one night and hurt Chavo’s face. Everyone shunned Kidman and he couldn’t use the move anymore because of psychological issues. Instead he walked away and the team lost the titles eventually as a result. London blamed Kidman and he was labeled a quitter because he wouldn’t give the fans the move they wanted. He said that the fans were bloodthirsty so London slapped him. If Kidman doesn’t fight, he’s fired.

Billy Kidman vs. Paul London

London sprints to the ring but Kidman runs. Paul wants answers. I’m not sure what the question is but I guess that’s up for interpretation. London controls to start and hits a leg lariat for two. A clothesline puts Kidman down and then out to the floor. London hits a sweet springboard moonsault but he might have hit the apron on the way down. Slingshot splash gets two back inside.

Kidman comes back by ramming his face into the buckle and kicking him in the face. London’s ribs are rammed into the post and Kidman goes after the ribs. All Billy at this point as he smacks London in the face. Apparently London had a broken nose recently. See, that’s something good a commentator can do: remind us of something that makes offense more vicious.

Billy stretches the ribs more and catches London in a gutbuster for two. Off to a seated abdominal stretch and London is in big trouble. Kidman gets back up and tries a tornado DDT for some reason. London blocks and hits an enziguri, but his powerbomb is blocked into an X Factor for two. Kidman tries a Low Down but London countered with a rana for two. London tries to speed things up but gets caught by a dropkick. Billy looks to the corner but walks off instead. He comes back at a count of seven and walks into a superkick. London tries a Shooting Star but it lands on knees. Kidman’s Shooting Star ends this.

Rating: C+. That was a solid heel turn match for Kidman. The rib work was great and the ending was solid too. I was liking this quite a bit with a good story the whole time, which is more than you can ask for more often than not. Kidman would be gone by June and London would get stuck in Cruiserweight Title limbo, but it was a good way to get there at least.

London is bleeding from the mouth so Billy blames the fans for it. London is strapped to a back board so Kidman goes up and hits another Shooting Star to the defenseless man. Nice.

Another Undertaker title moment: beating Sid at Wrestlemania 13.

JBL wants to know why the PPV is biased to the Undertaker. Why does everyone think JBL will lose tonight? How is that fair and biased? He talks about how he’s guaranteed victory in all of his title matches but can’t bring himself to say it here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

I vaguely remember Suzuki and Dupree as champions. My guess is that there’s a reason I don’t remember more. I know I remember thinking Kenzo bored me to death. Kenzo tries to sing Born in the USA pre match. Rob and Rene start us off. A quick powerbomb attempt is countered into a pin attempt by Rob and we get a standoff. Rey tags himself in and the challengers speed things up, resulting in a dropkick by Rey for two.

Suzuki comes in. Cole refers to him by his nickname of the bronze warrior, causing Tazz to say “Do you think he aspires to be a golden warrior?” Well at least it wasn’t about pigeons. The champs are both sent to the floor and the challengers hit stereo dives. Cole: “Only on Smackdown!” Except when it’s on PPV right Cole? Rob vs. Kenzo in the ring now but Rob is quickly send to the floor as Rene pushed him off the top.

We hear about Kenzo winning the Young Lions Cup and it’s back to Rene for a neck crank. A knee drop by Kenzo gets two. There’s the hot tag to Rey (minus the hot part) who cleans house and destroys Kenzo. Seated senton gets two. Rene breaks up the 619 but Rob breaks up a powerbomb. Rolling Thunder takes out Dupree and now the 619 connects. Dupree breaks up the West Coast Pop though, only to get taken out by Van Dam. Kenzo cradles Mysterio and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t horrible but you could really see that the tag titles were in shambles at this point. To be fair they had been for years so that’s hardly breaking news, but you get the idea. Not much of a match but it didn’t suck, which is really all you can ask for from these thrown together matches.

We recap Angle vs. Big Show. Show came back again and laid waste to everyone which impressed Teddy. Big Show was given a choice of facing Eddie or Angle. Show had injured Angle months ago so he picked Angle for a revenge match. Angle had recruited Jindrak to join him and Reigns against Show. Then on Smackdown, Angle shot Big Show with a tranquilizer dart and the trio shaved his head.

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show

If Luther or Jindrak interfere, they’re fired. Show threatens Angle a lot to start and shoves him away with ease. He runs Angle over and Cole says it’s like running into a concrete wall. Cole: “Go outside and run into a concrete wall to see how that feels.” Tazz: “Yeah don’t do that.” There’s a toss around the ring after Kurt can’t come close to suplexing him. There’s a suplex and Kurt is in big trouble. Angle gets thrown around and says screw this and takes the countout loss.

Never mind as Teddy pops in and says if you leave, you’ll never wrestle on Smackdown again. Yeah because it’s not like there’s another show he can wrestle on where they would welcome him with open arms or anything. Kurt has a ten count to get back in and he does so at nine after tripping over the steps. That was funny. Show keeps up the dominance with a headbutt and chops in the corner.

Now he stands on Angle’s chest. Why get more complicated than you have to? Out to the floor and Show punches a chair into Angle’s face. Back in Show drops a leg and chops some more. Angle has had zero offense and we’re over five minutes into this. He gets in an elbow but jumps into a slam. Here comes the chokeslam but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock. He gets the grapevine but lets it go a few seconds later. Kind of stupid no? Yeah it was because Show kicks him off and into the referee.

Kurt heads to the floor and grabs a chair which goes into the knee. Then it goes onto it a few more times. He hooks a knee bar over the apron and Show is in trouble. Show gets up and shrugs off all of the offense. A big boot puts Angle down but a second crotches him on the ropes. Angle Slam gets two. He heads to the floor and gets the tranquilizer gun again but Show grabs it away and breaks it over his knee. Ok that was cool. Reverse powerbomb kills Kurt and a chokeslam off the top ends this clean.

Rating: C. I liked this for some reason. There’s something cool about having Show just go off on people and destroy them with reckless abandon. That chokeslam looked great as Angle crashed to the mat. Fun match with Angle putting people over which is something he’s always been cool with it seems.

We recap Cena vs. Booker. It’s the final match in a best of five series for the title. Angle was GM and stripped Cena of the title. There was an eight man elimination match where Booker legally stole the title. Teddy Long made Cena #1 contender in a best of five series because of that hater Kurt Angle stealing the title from him. Cena won at Summerslam, Booker won on Smackdown, Booker won at a Smackdown house show, Cena won at Smackdown, tonight is the final match.

US Title: Booker T vs. John Cena

The title can change hands on a DQ or countout here. Cena slugs away to start and gets two off a shoulder block. Booker is sent to the floor and for once it makes sense for Cena to not go after him. Back in and a clothesline gets two for Cena but he walks into a spinebuster for the same. Out to the floor and Cena goes into the steps. Pretty slow start so far. Now Booker goes into the steps.

Back in Booker loads up the side kick but settles for a superkick instead, getting two. Off to a chinlock to kill some time. Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Booker suplexes him and it’s back to the chinlock. Cena hits a fisherman’s suplex for two and it’s back to Booker in control. This is really boring so far. Booker misses the side kick and crotches himself on the top rope.

Cena wins a slugout and a clothesline takes Booker down. The Shuffle gets two. He pumps up the shoes but the FU is countered. Booker comes back with the Book End for two as the crowd is getting behind Cena. Booker goes to get a chair but has to drop it to save the title. Scissors kick misses and Cena gets two off the crash. The FU ends this clean. Wow that was anti-climactic.

Rating: D+. I really didn’t like this one. Cena got a lot better in the next year or two but at this point he was really weak out there. Booker would do nothing for the next year until he won the world title and turned British in about a year and a half. Cena would lose the title on Smackdown to the debuting Carlito.

Taker won his third title at Over the Edge from Austin. That was the Owen Hart show.

Dudley Boys/Dawn Marie vs. Rico/Charlie Hass/Miss Jackie

I miss Dawn. She was gorgeous. Jackie is no slouch either. Bubba and Haas start us off but D-Von jumps him to give them the early advantage. D-Von beats on Charlie but Dawn tags herself in to hit on Charlie. Jackie comes in and there goes Dawn’s top. Bubba pulls Jackie’s hair to give Dawn the advantage then comes in to kiss her. Bubba makes the mistake of closing his eyes though and gets a kiss from Rico instead.

Out to the floor and Bubba is about to be sick. It’s such a shame that Rico got this gimmick as he was AWESOME in OVW, regularly outworking guys like Orton and Cena. Bubba walks out and Rico gets a bunch of (fruit) rollups on D-Von. Bubba comes back to crotch Rico and then officially comes in to give Rico a heterosexual beating. Rico grabs a DDT out of nowhere and double tags bring in the other guys.

Haas cleans house and causes some heel miscommunication. A German takes down Bubba but Dawn distracts him, allowing D-Von to get in some offense. Rico makes a blind tag and hits a cross body for two as everything breaks down. The Dudleys load up What’s Up but Rico is WAY too excited for it, rubbing his crotch and begging D-Von to jump. D-Von won’t do it so we get a catfight instead. Charlie takes down D-Von and Rico finishes him with a moonsault.

Rating: C+. It was a comedy tag match, but every time I watch Rico I love him more and more. This guy was doing everything he could to get this dead end gimmick over and it worked. Rico cracked me up which was the whole point of the character. It’s a shame he wasn’t allowed to just be himself and awesome. Fun match.

Taker won the title from Hogan again.

We recap JBL vs. Taker. Taker had chokeslammed JBL through the limo at Summerslam, resulting in JBL being injured and one of the funniest visuals ever in WWE. JBL was in a neck brace and hat his cowboy hat attached to the top of the halo, making the hat about three feet above his head. It was hilarious. Anyway, Taker was granted the rematch and beat up a lot of JBL’s cronies. it’s a Last Ride match, meaning ambulance match but with a hearse instead.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. The Undertaker

The champ jumps him to start which is surprising for him. Taker pounds him down and drops some elbows. He’s in full striking mode here. Old School puts JBL down but the champ gets a thumb to Taker’s eye. Taker goes Zombie Mode and chokeslams JBL down but it’s way too early to put him in the hearse.

JBL gets beaten down again and takes the apron legdrop. They fight in the aisle for a bit and JBL goes into the steps. Taker loads up the announce table but walks into steps to the head to give the champ his first real advantage. JBL kicks him up the aisle and hits Taker with the steps again. After a quick trip towards the hearse, they come back into the ring and JBL hits a top rope shoulder to put the Deadman down.

Taker grabs a triangle choke and JBL taps but it doesn’t mean anything. Out to the floor and Taker pounds some more because he’s not that smart at times. Taker loads up the table again but JBL hits him with the steps to break it up. That’s strangely familiar. A piledriver on the steps is attempted (Taker did it to Lesnar last year and Cole was fine with it, but here it’s evil) but Undertaker backdrops him.

They fight into the crowd with Taker in control. Back to ringside and Taker hits a Tombstone on the steps. Cole didn’t seem to think that was evil either. Bradshaw is busted but finds a chair to whack Taker in the head with out of nowhere. That sounded great. A monitor to the head puts Taker on a table. JBL gets the chair and winds up getting chokeslammed through the other table.

JBL’s face is covered in blood. I’ll give the guy this: he knows how to do bladejobs. Taker gets up first and wants to head to the hearse. Into a fireman’s carry and up the aisle they go. Taker opens the door but Heidenreich pops out. He knocks Undertaker out with ether and sends the hearse away but Taker pops out of that too. He pounds on Heidenreich but walks into the Clothesline for Bradshaw to retain.

Rating: D+. Some ok violence but for the love of all things good and holy can we get ANYONE but JBL as champion? His reign probably looks better over time, but at the time it happened it was awful with some of the lowest buyrates of all time as a result. Naturally it went on until Wrestlemania to make sure absolutely no one cared by the end of it.

JBL says never bet against him.

The hearse was being driven by Heyman who instructs Heidenreich to ram a car into it. Taker is blown up AGAIN to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s some ok stuff on here, but there’s no great match like there was last year with Angle and Cena. The main event is lame and the whole car blowing up bit was eye rolling material, as we’ve seen Taker die so many times that it’s almost a cliché at this point. Not a memorable show at all and certainly not worth watching.

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He was older than most rookies, he had a distinctive look, he was AWESOME in developmental, he came up about the same time as Orton and Cena and for my money was the best prospect of those three in his first year on WWE TV. He had a horrible gimmick but made it both memorable and pretty entertaining. He is……Rico.

Clash of the Champions 31
Date: August 6, 1995
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 4,059
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Oh great it’s 1995 WCW. We’re about a month before Nitro began airing so Saturday Night is still the main show. The main event tonight is Vader vs. Anderson vs. Flair in a handicap match. Hogan isn’t on the card so it’s a bit hard to get into it. Oh ok he’s going into the Dungeon of Doom. Didn’t he do that before? Whatever. Let’s get to it.

By the way I only have 15 of these left so I’ll be doing them more often to try to get them over with I think.

Meng/Kurasawa vs. Sting/Hawk

Yes that Hawk. Kurasawa is a guy that showed up, broke Hawk’s arm, had a weak feud with him and was gone after that for the most part. I don’t remember Animal being around at all at this point so I have no idea why he isn’t here. This show is on a Sunday. That’s weird for a COTC. Big brawl to start and Hawk gets a horrible dropkick to Meng. This is Kurasawa’s second match in WCW. His first was yesterday.

He and Hawk start us off properly with Hawk no selling everything. Off to Sting who is US Champion. Hogan is here and will enter the Dungeon of Doom later. Ooo if this is what I think it is we’re in for a major debut. The match is kind of going back and forth here with nothing significant happening yet. Hawk gets his arm worked on for awhile now as we settle down into a regular match.

Kurasawa takes him to the floor and hits what would become one of his finishers in the form of a spinebuster position but he drops backwards, kind of like a backdrop without letting go. Hawk gets a boot up back in and a clothesline sets up….a dragon sleeper? From Hawk? Ok then. Either way things get broken up and it’s Meng in now. This has a weird feel to it. It’s not bad or anything but it’s not what you would expect from these four. I think it’s Sting doing nothing so far.

Powerbomb gets two on Kurasawa and Sting takes Meng down with a top rope clothesline. Meng tries to come off the top and everything breaks down again. Stinger Splash hits Meng and a bulldog takes him down. Sting and Hawk set for a Doomsday Device on Kurasawa and it ends things clean. That came out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This was there for the post match attack which we’ll get to in a minute. The match wasn’t bad but it was pretty forgettable for the most part. I still don’t get the point in having Hawk get the push here and not Sting who is already the US Champion. Either way for an opening match on a special I’m fine with it.

Post match Kurasawa grabs the arm of Hawk and snaps the arm. They would have a weird match where Hawk dominated and Kurasawa got the pin. No idea what the point of it was but it’s WCW in 1995 so they likely didn’t either.

We get a clip from earlier in the night where Hogan had to fight off all of the Dungeon of Doom until Sting and Savage made the save. This isn’t the show I thought it was because Giant has already debuted.

Gene says Hawk might have a snapped elbow. Kurasawa’s manager, Colonel Parker, is there with his other team in the form of Dick Slater and Bunkhouse Buck. They’re feuding with Harlem Heat and at Fall Brawl they had the only wrestling match that actually put me to sleep. They say they’ll beat up Sister Sherri if she gets involved. Parker says he doesn’t love Sherri. That would change in the future. Buck and Slater are tag champions.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Alex Wright

Page is rich. Wright has no music. Wright grabs a very quick rollup and the fans aren’t exactly enthralled here. We go to the floor and Wright hits a nice dive. He really could have been something if he came in after the Cruiserweight division got going. Wright gets to show off even more, moonsaulting out of the corner like Daniel Bryan currently does. He hits a dropkick and a Vader Bomb for two.

Page takes over and Kimberly, the (I think) unnamed Diamond Doll gives him a ten. Swinging neckbreaker gets a two (count, not a score). Backslide gets two for Wright. This is a much better match than I expected. Wright starts his comeback and the crowd is DEAD. Spinwheel kick gets no cover but Wright gets a high knee for two.

Missile dropkick gets two. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Page walks out to send Alex head first into the buckle for another two. The crowd is just silent and it’s not really hurting the match. German suplex (Wright’s finisher) gets two and Page heads to the floor. Wright dives over the top but Page moves to let Wright crash. Page throws him back in for the pin.

Rating: B. This came out of nowhere and I got way into it even though I knew who won. When that happens in a match you know it’s good. Wright got to show off the entire time out there and the whole thing worked great. This is one of those matches that comes out of nowhere and means nothing but it was still incredibly entertaining. I might even say it was worth checking out, especially considering how bad Page was at this point. We’d call this a flash of brilliance.

Flair says he isn’t worried about Vader because Anderson will be watching his back. This would eventually lead to Anderson feeling used by Flair, setting up a great match at Fall Brawl. Flair rants a lot, saying Arn will protect him.

TV Title: Paul Orndorff vs. The Renegade

Why Orndorff was pushed in 1995 is beyond me but whatever. Renegade was literally an Ultimate Warrior knockoff (they called him the ULTIMATE surprise at one point) but was somehow even less coordinated in the ring. This was about as much of a disaster as you could get as no one, I mean NO ONE bought that he was the Warrior, namely because they only looked a bit alike. I was seven years old and I never bought it.

Renegade gets jumped while he still has the belt on and that gets him nowhere. Back in Orndorff gets something resembling a German suplex but it doesn’t have a snap to it. He drops some elbows as we see why he shouldn’t be getting this kind of a push in the mid to late 90s. Orndorff is simply not interesting. He’s dominating here and that means nothing as Renegade, who remember is supposed to be an Ultimate Warrior guy, hits a slingshot crossbody for the pin to retain. That and some right hands earlier were all of the offense he got.

Rating: F. This sums up Renegade in a nutshell: he isn’t very good, he gets beaten up too much, no one cares and the match sucked. Also he was stuck fighting guys like Paul Orndorff for the title. This was awful and thankfully DDP would get the title soon after this, I think next month.

Vader says he isn’t worried about Flair and Anderson and certainly isn’t scared of them.

After a break Gene talks about a Harley Davidson sweepstakes.

Ad for Fall Brawl. Vader would have left for the WWF by then but thankfully Luger jumped ship to take his place.

Video on Colonel Parker and company against Harlem Heat/Sherri. It’s a mixed tag. Harlem Heat wants the titles back which they would get in September.

Colonel Parker/Dick Slater/Bunkhouse Buck vs. Harlem Heat/Sister Sherri

Sherri tries to run at Parker but Harlem Heat holds her back. Parker is in khakis and a somewhat unbuttoned shirt. Slater vs. Ray to start us off and I can feel my eyes getting heavy already. Off to Booker and Buck and we’re told Hawk is being taken to a hospital. My goodness Buck and Slater are dull. Buck gets beaten on and it’s off to Slater again. Parker and Sherri have meant nothing at all so far.

Oh wait Sherri slapped Slater. Ok she has officially validated her spot in this match. Booker hits a side kick and we take a break to talk about a Harley Davidson which will be given away at Halloween Havoc. The winner will be announced at some show called Nitro. There’s talk of an Emmy award winning sportscaster coming to work on Nitro. It would be Mongo.

Back and Booker is getting beaten down. Buck hits a dropkick and it’s off to a bearhug. Now Slater puts on a bearhug for a little change of pace. Parker is tagged in and it’s the same stuff you would expect: he gets in some shots, they do nothing and it’s off to Sherri. Sherri goes up and misses a splash…and is out cold. Oh dear it’s the beginning of this angle. I’ll get to that in a minute. She gets up and jumps on Parker, kissing him and he falls down for a pin.

Rating: F+. These teams have the worst chemistry I have ever seen. It doesn’t help that Slater and Buck are the VERY southern style which means move………….very…………slowly……….. …..and………..don’t…………do………… much…………..zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Anyway the point of this angle was that she hit her head (she didn’t) and it made her cuckoo so she loved Parker. She chases him down the aisle wanting more smooches. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

Hogan talks about riding on his motorcycle and letting a kid measure his arms. Words can’t really express how much I couldn’t stand late 95/early 96 Hogan, so I’ll leave this here. Hogan talks about being Irish and having his Irish family with him. “The O’Reilleys, the Hogan’s, the McMahon’s.” Yes he actually said that. This goes on for like 4 minutes and includes Hogan talking about wearing bikini briefs with his own face on them.

Some kid in a wheelchair is here. Every PPV buy gets one dollar from WCW for the MDA (muscular dystrophy). Ok I can’t make fun of them for that. The kid, a national spokesperson, can barely talk. Savage comes out to meet the kid. I can’t make fun of charity stuff. The kid is scared out of his mind but to be fair he’s got a disease and is probably in horrendous pain.

Video on Savage, who is awesome don’t you know. The music starts like his theme song and then goes into this weird version of it that sounds almost like dance music.

Hogan goes into the Dungeon of Doom which is an actual place. We cut there to see the Master and the Taskmaster in a cave or something and the stupidity of this still astounds me. I mean it’s just so low budget and campy. Hogan comes in and yells REALLY bad lines at him and there’s dust all over his head. He says bring all of the Dungeon on and Giant comes in to choke him down. The Dungeon beats him down until Vader makes the save. He and Giant have a staredown while Sting and Savage get Hogan out. Hey WCW, little tip: when we’re supposed to be in a cave/dungeon, DON’T LET US SEE THE ARENA LIGHTS.

The announcers jabber a bit.

Ad for Fall Brawl.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Vader

I love that black robe on Flair. Vader has the helmet/head thing on here which is always cool. I have no idea what the point of it is but whatever. They have to tag here and Anderson starts. Anderson is promptly mauled and has to chill in the corner for a bit. Vader sends him to the floor again and Flair gives him a pep talk but won’t get in. Vader responds by pounding him down because he’s Vader and Arn is any human being not named Hogan.

Arn manages to show off why he’s terribly underrated and snaps off a GREAT spinebuster on Vader. He didn’t almost drop Vader, he didn’t get him up like an inch, he didn’t look like he was having a hernia. He picked Vader up, spun him around and planted him. Flair comes in and the advantage is promptly lost. He gets dumped to the floor and Anderson has to come in and take Vader down again.

Flair looks at Vader and tags out again. The idea here again is that Anderson is doing about 80% of the work while Flair wants half of if not more of the glory. Anderson his the DDT, his finisher, but Flair wants in for the Figure Four. He gets a pretty bad version on but Vader grabs a rope. Flair goes up and Vader launches him through the air. There’s a splash and Arn has to make the save again. There’s a top rope splash and Arn breaks it up again. Anderson comes back in again and Vader destroys them both, powerbombing Anderson for the pin.

Rating: C+. Most of that is for Anderson and the psychology in there. The spinebuster was a thing of beauty and Flair not wanting to do anything was a great addition and it set up a great match at Fall Brawl. Vader would be gone almost immediately after this with no real explanation (the video at the PPV said he went AWOL) and this was his last WCW match.

Anderson and Flair argue post match and Anderson is MAD. Flair leaves him standing there.

Hogan, Savage and Sting come out to whine about the Dungeon. Andre is mentioned a lot. War is declared and Vader comes up and yells at Hogan about nothing of note. The idea was supposed to be Vader teaming up with them against the Dungeon but it never went anywhere.

Overall Rating: C-. This was all over the place to put it mildly. They were in a weird place at this point with Nitro a month away and Fall Brawl about six weeks away. You could definitely see the pieces coming together for it though and if the Dungeon of Doom had someone in the main event of that show worth anything (Giant wasn’t in it) then it would have been a lot more interesting. Either way, this wasn’t a great show but it put some pieces together for Anderson vs. Flair which was one of the only good things in 1995.

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Continental Championship Wrestling
Date: January 4, 1986
Location: Boutwell Auditorium, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentator: Gordon Solie

Back to that Alabama based company since I have more time to kill before No Mercy finishes downloading. I don’t know anything about this company at this time but in previous episodes I’ve seen Yokozuna and Masahiro Chono pop in so who knows what might be here tonight. Let’s get to it.

For those of you confused, this is the CWF before it changed names.

We open with Gordon Solie who brings in Ronnie West, the troubleshooting referee of the NWA. The US Junior Heavyweight Title has been stripped or something. He says if anyone wants to sponsor the show, give him a call. That doesn’t sound good.

Tommy Rich/Johnny Rich vs. Larry Clark/The Inferno

Johnny and Clark start things off. Gordon again tries to pitch the idea of using CCW as a fundraiser. I know a lot of smaller companies do that, but having it lead off the show isn’t a good thing. The Riches hammer down everyone but the Nightmares run in and break things up. They tar and feather Johnny. This was an angle, not a match.

The Nightmares are very happy about what they did.

The Riches say watch your backs Nightmares.

Jason Walker vs. Adrian Street

Adrian Street is from the Adrian Adonis/Rico family of wrestlers if you get my drift. Street is Southeastern Heavyweight Champion, which I think is the top title in this company. Street prances around to play mind games. He takes Walker to the mat and it turns into a technical match. Miss Linda, Adrian’s manager, chokes a bit as Adrian drops elbows. A knee to the ribs and a splash end this.

Rating: D+. Dull match and I’m not sure why they did the finishing sequence twice. Anyway, Street was an interesting kind of character as no one had seen someone like him in a long time. The effeminate character is one that’s almost always going to work because wrestling is such a masculine sport and wrestling fans are kind of scared of anything different.

Post match Walker attacks Street when Norville Austin comes in to beat on him also. Lady Maxine (Mad Maxine from WWF) comes in to cancel out Miss Linda. Austin would win the title two days later.

Austin and Maxine say that’s just the beginning. We get some clips of a match where Street beat up women or something like that. It’s really hard to make out the audio.

Street and Linda talk about an upcoming house show. Austin and Maxine reply by saying they’ll be ready. I think it’s a mixed tag.

Tim Horner will face someone for the Junior Heavyweight Title at Night of Champions.

Tim Horner vs. Paul Brown

Apparently the guy Horner will be facing is named Ken Timbs. Horner takes him to the mat and then grabs a top wristlock to control. Brown comes back with brawling tactics and gets a small package for two. O’Connor Roll gets two for Horner. A victory roll gets him the pin.

Rating: D. How was that a six and a half minute match? This program is reaching new levels of boring as I can’t bring myself to care about it at all. Horner was a guy that was ok for the most part so in a company like this, he was a big deal. He wouldn’t win the title at Night of Champions but he’d win it soon thereafter.

The Bullet says he’s sorry the Flame is gone because he didn’t get to beat him up enough. Some other masked guy named Mr. Olympia has been trying to steal Bullet’s mask. They tried to take Bullet’s mask but Brad Armstrong came in to help. The mask came off but Brad covered his face with a towel. There was another brawl with Tennessee Stud involved too. Olympia vs. Bullet for Night of Champions.

Roberto Soto and Boomer Lynch have a match for the Alabama Title and talk about their match. It’ll be big you see.

Gordon plugs some homebuilding company.

TV Title: Robert Fuller vs. Brad Armstrong

Fuller is champion and is more famous as Colonel Robert Parker. The title hadn’t been around for about five years but Fuller reactivated it for all of a month. Fuller is your standard “I’m pretty” character. Armstrong knocks him to the floor quickly and Fuller stalls a lot. Back into the ring and it’s off to an armbar by Armstrong. Fuller comes back and uses a variety of slams as I look for blunt instruments to hit myself with. Armstrong dropkicks him down and out to the floor. Some of Fuller’s friends come out and apparently TV time is up and the title is held up until next week.

Rating: F. The biggest move in a 4 minute match was a dropkick. You figure out the rest.

Fuller yells a lot.

Armstrong and Bullet yell a lot too.

Olympia starts yelling and we’re out of time.

Overall Rating: F. WOW this was boring. I watched the shows from 1988 of this company and they were bad. They were uninteresting, they weren’t that good and they were poorly put together. They look like masterpieces compared to this though. This show was just not interesting in the slightest and the production was awful. Usually I give a show two runs to see if I’ll keep it up or not but I’m done with this already. Just incredibly boring.

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NWA World Wide
Date: March 30, 1985
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, David Crockett

More downloading issues mean we get to take another show off my list. Here we have another edition of World Wide from the day before the first Wrestlemania. On this card is a US Title change which I’ve reviewed before and a few other matches. I liked this show the last time I did it so maybe this will be good as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of Wahoo and Magnum in different matches before their title match tonight.

Billy Graham vs. Steve Casey

Graham is a karate dude now. Casey speeds things up to start and hooks what appears to be a sleeper. I’m surprised Casey has gotten in this much offense. Graham gets in a shot with a knee as we talk about the lack of Paul Jones, who is Graham’s manager. Out to the floor and Casey goes into the railing. A Stun Gun ends this in short order.

Arn Anderson vs. Manny Fernandez

Arn is in a hat which is a new sight. Manny strikes away to start and runs Arn over. Anderson hides in the corner and Fernandez works over the arm. We take a break and come back with more arm work on Arn. Anderson has had enough of that though and pulls Manny down by the wrist and it’s off to an armbar. This goes on for a good long while. Anderson goes up to the middle rope but jumps into a clothesline. Manny comes back with chops because he has one arm. A middle rope kneedrop hits but Manny shoves the referee for a DQ.

Rating: D+. Boring match for the most part but the arm work is an Anderson standard, as is messing up coming off the ropes. Manny used to be a tag champion I believe and he turned heel in 85/86. Anderson would join the Horsemen in a year as an inaugural member. The match was pretty dull though.

Anderson works over the arm and hits a few hammerlock slams.

Come to our house show in Philadelphia! Then come to the house show in the capital of Pennsylvania, Allentown! Anderson pops in and the first thing he asks is if Tony considers himself an intelligent man. That’s great. Anyway he’ll take care of Manny in their grudge match because Manny is a little chihuahua.

The Koloffs say they’re great. They’re both the tag champions and the six man champions. They don’t care what combination of people they face. I think they had an early version of the Freebird Rule in effect. Nikita will come for Flair soon according to Ivan, but Nikita wants the Road Warrior. I don’t think he means the tag team but I’m not sure.

Here’s a clip from Wahoo McDaniels vs. Flair in what appears to be an exhibition rather than a match. Tully runs in quickly and helps beat Flair down. We get another clip of Wahoo and Flair both in street clothes and Tully runs in again.

Now we get some clips of Magnum destroying people with the suplex.

This is from a home video release of Crockett Cup 87, which was after Magnum’s careering accident. It featured his return to ringside so there was a career retrospective on him on the tape. During the match, there was a commercial break where Manny Fernandez said he’ll take out Anderson and Anderson wasn’t going to make a name for himself off Fernandez.

US Title: Magnum TA vs. Wahoo McDaniel

McDaniel is very old but is US Champion here. It’s in a cage and is the real push for Magnum to the solid midcard spot he held until he retired. From March of 85 if you’re curious. Tony puts over the belly to belly as being really sudden and Wahoo kicks him low. Magnum fires off that great right hand of his but gets rammed into the cage. Magnum is like BRING IT ON and takes Wahoo down for two and an eruption from the crowd. A dropkick gets two.

They chop it out and Wahoo isn’t going to lose something like that. Wahoo goes into the cage again and just collapses this time. A headbutt puts Wahoo down and David Crockett, the other commentator, is getting on my nerves. Wahoo sends him into the cage again and a chop gets two. The mat isn’t a regular mat but is a bunch of blue gym mats shoved together. You can see the lines between them.

Magnum kicks him in the chest to take him down as the momentum doesn’t last long for Wahoo at all. He does manage to get a small package for two but Magnum is back up and punching away again. Wahoo tries to escape (I guess you can win that way) and Magnum suplexes him off the top for two. Wahoo, the old school lunkhead that he is, charges off the ropes a few times into Magnum which lets Magnum snap off his belly to belly suplex finisher for the US Title.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and it’s so nice to see a full match here. Magnum was so awesome and this was the moment that launched him up the card. His real classic would be later that year (and later on the tape) against Tully in a cage. Wahoo was just old at this point but this is how you go out: you lay down for a young guy clean and give your title up to him. Perfect example of that and good to see Magnum get the title that he should have had.

Everyone celebrates with Magnum in the back. Magnum says anyone can bring it on and he’ll fight anybody. Dusty comes in and says that was awesome. Don Kernodle says that was awesome. Tommy Young says that was the best match he’s ever refereed. Uh..WHAT? More guys celebrate it.

Overall Rating: C+. This was fun for the most part. The cage match is cool to see on TV even though the match itself was nothing all that special. This was all about Magnum reaching the next level because you can only squash jobbers for 30 seconds at a time for so long. He could have been something amazing. Fun show but nothing great wrestling wise.

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Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 19, 1991
Location: SunDome, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, Honky Tonk Man

No Mercy 04 is downloading so I have a random Superstars to do. Most of the other ones I have are from 1988 but this is a stand alone one from 1991. We’re getting close to the 91 Rumble so that’ll be the focus here. Actually this is from Rumble Saturday so expect a lot of it to be about that show. I have no idea what to expect here but let’s get to it.

Apparently this is Honky’s last TV appearance in his initial WWF run. The three commentators make Disney jokes to start.

Jake Roberts vs. Bob Bradley

Jake was blinded by Martel recently but he’s mostly ok here. He hits the knee lift and grabs the wrist for some cranking. Jake’s inset interview says he’ll be ready for Martel. Clothesline and DDT end this quick. Bradley gets the snake treatment post match.

UPDATE! With Gene Okerlund. He talks about the Rhodeses vs. DiBiase/Virgil and we get some quick comments from all of them. This was more or less the end of Dusty and Dustin in the WWF for years.

Earthquake vs. Randy Hunter

Earthquake hits some kicks to the ribs and Bravo says he’ll win the Rumble, even if it means going through Earthquake. The Earthquake ends Hunter quick.

Post match Hunter takes another one and is taken out on a stretcher.

Hart Foundation vs. Black Bart/WT Jones

The Harts are tag champions but this is non-title. Neidhart and Jim start things off. The Harts say they’re ready for the Rumble. I miss little things about the Rumble like that one. Off to Jones who takes a beating as well. Hart Attack ends Jones.

Off to the Event Center for promos about the Rumble. I won’t bother going into specifics for each because they all say the same thing. We hear from Warlord, Valentine, Shane Douglas (who wasn’t in it), Hawk and Power and Glory.

Mr. Perfect vs. Kevin Reno

Reno is a very small man in pink trunks. Perfect easily takes him to the mat and hits the Robinsdale Crush. He says that he’ll win the Rumble because he’s perfect. Perfectplex for the pin.

More promos about non-Rumble matches. Bossman is going to take out Barbarian to get to Heenan. The Orient Express wants the Rockers handed to him. The Rockers are ready for them. One thing that I really miss about these days: everyone has a personalized graphic behind them. It’s a small thing but it’s very cool.

Bushwackers vs. Dennis Allen/The Gladiator

The Bushwackers say what you would expect them to say on the day of the Rumble. Butch starts with Gladiator but it’s off to Luke quickly. Battering Ram takes down Allen and their double gutbuster gets the pin.

Off to the Brother Love Show with guests Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan. Sarge gets the shot at Warrior tonight. He takes a few minutes to say that he’ll win the title and then take the title to Baghdad for a parade. He’ll take it to the United Nations also.

Another Rumble Report has Warrior rambling a lot regarding lost soldiers. He’ll be a general and champion after tonight.

Gene runs down some names in the Rumble and we hear from Martel, Duggan, Savage and Hogan. Gene runs down the rest of the card and Heenan says Barbarian is ready for Bossman.

The announcers wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C+. Yeah the wrestling was bad but the idea here was to push the Rumble and they certainly did that. This was such a great way of showcasing everyone in the match with at least letting us see their face. Today everyone knows that there are about 4 people who could win, but it’s a fun thought that everyone at least has a miracle chance. Today though you don’t even hear the names of the people before they go into it. I liked this but I like this era and it hyped up the PPV very well. Good show.

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No Mercy 2002
Date: October 20, 2002
Location: Alltel Arena, North Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 9,074
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was requested by someone and I can’t remember who. In name only this seems like a weak card but it’s actually pretty stacked. We have HHH vs. Kane in a title unification match, the match of the year with Edge/Mysterio vs. Benoit/Angle for the first Smackdown tag titles and Hell in a Cell with Lesnar vs. Taker. Let’s get to it.

Nothing special in the opening video. THERE WILL BE NO MERCY! Yeah that’s all they’ve got.

Raw Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T/Goldust

The Canadians have the titles. Four separate entrances here which is kind of odd. Christian and Jericho just won the belts this past week on Raw. Booker vs. Christian starts us off. Christian is a glorified lower card guy at this point having been more or less completely left in the dust by Edge despite him having a title and Edge not at the moment. It sounds odd but it’s completely true.

Flying hips to the face of the Canadians keep Goldust in control. Jericho gets a middle rope dropkick as that first little bit was kind of quickly done and not in a good way. The fans are way behind Booker T. Goldust avoids a Christian dropkick and gets a rollup for two followed by a powerslam. No tag though as I guess he’s playing the face in peril here. Before I finished that sentence Booker comes in.

Apparently Booker and Jericho are feuding at this point so there’s your reasoning for the match I guess. You knew it wasn’t just because they’re both good tag teams right? Booker dominates for the most part here as he’s the hottest thing in the match and would get a title shot at Mania.

Back over to Goldust who hits Shattered Dreams on Christian and continues to abuse the balls of Christian by getting a drop toehold onto Jericho to send him into his partner’s crotch. Axe kick to Jericho gets two as Christian saves. Booker gets the missile dropkick and it’s Spinarooni time. Jericho goes for his running springboard dropkick but the ropes break. Well doesn’t that suck. Jericho bulldogs Goldust onto a title belt and hits a moonsault off the top to retain.

Rating: C-. You can’t hold the ropes breaking against them here but this match wasn’t very entertaining. It’s ok but it really is a Raw match with a bit more time on PPV. It wasn’t much at all with Goldust and Booker being a glorified comedy team as this is a backdrop for the Booker vs. Jericho feud which I’m never a fan of. Not terrible though.

Funaki, Smackdown NUMBER ONE announcer, is with Al Wilson. This was during the Dawn Marie marries Al Wilson to tick off Torrie. This resulted in Al “dying” and Dawn making out with Torrie in a lesbian/semi-incest angle that was hot but irritating at the same time. This is WAY too long as they show a bunch of clips but they have to fix the ring so we have hot women to look at I guess. It results in a Bill Clinton joke of all things.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

They’re not even called Divas all the time yet. Sweet GOODNESS Cole looks toolish here. The girls look great though. Torrie drills her to start and it’s on early. This is when the girls were just AWFUL in the ring. It’s this era and the next 2-3 years where the bad stereotypes come from. Torrie kept getting ring time and looked like a rookie in her first match for the better part of three years.

Dawn drops a head into the crotch of Torrie and Tazz wonders if that actually hurts. This is just freaking terrible. Rolling catfight spot as this is going nowhere at all. They can’t even do clotheslines right. YOU STICK YOUR ARM OUT. Why is this getting extended time??? Finally Torrie wins with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D-. Girls looking this hot can’t be a failure. That’s all it’s got going for it though and I want to get away from it as fast as I can.

RVD says Flair is awesome and lists off some catchphrases of Naitch. He even struts and woos and does his own version of the limousine riding bit. It’s MUCH funnier than it sounds and it helps that Flair is a walking cartoon character.

In the same shot we see Brock and Heyman showing up and they have no comment. There’s also a decent looking woman named Tracy that is accusing Taker of being a cheater in his marriage. Actually that’s true but who cares about reality?

Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam

Flair is heel here and Evolution isn’t quite formed yet but would show up on February 3 of the following year (no I’m not that big of a geek. That’s my birthday). At Unforgiven (JR says Vengeance) Flair turned heel and hit RVD in the stomach with a sledgehammer to save HHH’s title. They go at it on the floor for a bit and Flair’s shoulder goes into the post before the bell rings.

Or has the match started already? Top rope dropkick hits Flair as the bell rings. Ok so it hadn’t started yet. Flair is only 53 here so he’s still a young dude in theory I guess. Flair takes out the knee and we’re officially in the Flair Formula. The main talking point is that Van Dam said he flies coach in the prematch promo. Lawler will not shut up about it and it’s kind of annoying. Yes Lawler is getting annoying. I’m stunned too.

The standard Flair beating goes on for a LONG time. And now we’re talking about the Tracy girl. Well sure why not. We get to the Figure Four after maybe three minutes and naturally it doesn’t end the thing since Flair is a heel and he loses the ability to win with a submission. Van Dam makes his comeback as this is borderline predictable.

Ross slips in his more time on the canvas than Rembrandt line as Flair is slammed off the top. Rolling Thunder gets two as Flair gets a foot on the ropes. And then there’s the Five Star to actually end it. It’s kind of weird to see Flair just jobbing cleanly like that. Most odd indeed.

Rating: D+. You’ve seen it once and you’ve seen it 1000 times. And yes I know how ironic that is given the last thing I said about the ending. This again belonged on Raw and not here but that’s typical for the most part. This went nowhere for the most part as Flair at least is almost good for putting someone over. Pretty weak match though.

Show is talking to Stephanie and Bischoff comes up to complain about it. Show wanted to leave Raw but Eric wouldn’t let him. He would be there by Survivor Series and a heel under Heyman’s leadership.

Since the IC Title dies tonight we get a video package on the history of the title. Cool stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is champion here. Tajiri was the referee in a Noble/Nidia match on Smackdown for no apparent reason so Noble beat him up afterwards. Tajiri gets a baseball slide before the bell rings as that’s a running theme lately. Asai Moonsault hits and that’s about the extent of Tajiri’s offense for awhile.

Nice electric chair by Noble gets two. Pretty much domination by the champion so far. Tazz and Cole imply these three are in a three way relationship or something but that never went anywhere. The commentary is far more sexual in nature than what you would be used to in WWE today.

Jamie gets knocked off the top rope as he tries a suplex so Tajiri gets to miss a moonsault now. He does get a tornado DDT but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. Both guys down now. Both guys up now. Tajiri unleashes that martial arts rush which is always awesome. Handspring elbow has Jamie in big trouble. German suplex gets two.

There’s the Tarantula and Jamie is reeling. Big kick misses and the Tiger Bomb is countered. There’s the kick and Nidia kisses the referee so he can’t make the count. And there’s the Tiger Bomb for two which is surprising. Tajiri goes for a victory roll but Nidia trips him so Jamie can dive into it for the Owen Hart at Mania X pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and at least they allowed Tajiri to get in more offense than it looked like he was going to get. It’s nothing great or anything like that but this was definitely watchable and the whole thing worked pretty well. It’s a shame no one cared about this or it might have been interesting.

Tajiri kisses her post match. Noble kisses her too. Tajiri kicks the living heck out of him while he does though.

Benoit is looking for Eddie and says that Angle is kicking Chavo’s teeth in at the moment. Eddie goes off to find him and Benoit follows. Eddie finds the door they’re behind and makes noises with his mouth. Eddie thinks Benoit is faking so that Angle can take him down.

It’s clearly Chavo yelling but Eddie says that sounds like a little girl. And then Angle throws Chavo through the door. This was…..uh yeah. Apparently they did the same thing on Smackdown and Angle was suckering Eddie in. Out of context this is nuts but that makes sense.

We recap the monster Kane face push that resulted him in being the IC Champion and getting the shot at HHH here because it’s winner take all since WWE decided there was going to be one title per show for no apparent reason at all. Kane talked about being all happy for the first time in his life. And then, HHH asked Kane about Katie Vick.

Yes it’s THAT Katie Vick. The idea was that there was some chick that Kane knew (despite allegedly being burned horribly and never knowing anyone but Paul Bearer). He drove her home one night and they wrecked, killing her. Then HHH went to a funeral home and simulated sex with a mannequin while wearing a Kane mask, implying that Kane raped her corpse. This might be the lowest the company ever got.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Kane

Since Lesnar had gone to Smackdown as the Undisputed Champion the World Heavyweight Championship had been made for HHH as the Raw title. That was last month so the ending is pretty clear here. We hear the stupid line of that title dating back to 1904 (it was 1905 until they decided it was 04 when HHH got it) which is complete nonsense.

In short, the NWA Title was unified with a title that dated back to 1905. That title LOOKS like the NWA Title so it has the same lineage. That’s the extent of the WWE’s logic. Lawler says Kane needs Liquid Courage to face HHH. Well it would certainly help him with his covers. And now onto the match.

Kane pushes him around to start and then drills HHH. An amusing thing here is that Lawler keeps calling Kane the Animal. Batista was either already on Smackdown or would be debuting any week now. I think he’s already there though. All Kane so far. He beats on HHH for about the first three minutes more or less non stop. HHH gets a bad reverse neckbreaker to take Kane down. Naturally he sits up to take care of that.

Facebuster buys HHH some time and he sends Kane to the floor. Back in the ring and HHH hits another neckbreaker. Make that three. Dang he sticks to stuff he likes doesn’t he? Ross says if Kane wins he’ll be the first masked World’s Heavyweight Champion. I guess they’re pushing that whole separate titles thing. Spinebuster puts Kane down again.

HHH keeps up the offense on the neck and throat with a slingshot up into the middle rope to keep Kane down even longer. Off to a sleeper now and Kane is reeling. Down he goes as Lawler makes death jokes. Those are pretty creepy actually. This match is pretty plodding and not much is going on here at all. Sidewalk Slam by Kane gets no cover as he’s broken the sleeper and is in control again.

Top rope clothesline hits and here’s Ric Flair because a title match can’t be clean right? Down goes the referee and Flair won’t leave. What a shocker. Belt to Kane’s face gets a two without much drama at all. Hurricane, Kane’s partner, comes out and beats up Flair but walks into a Pedigree. Kane sits up and it’s on again.

HHH comes off the middle and top rope and neither of them work. Chokeslam is blocked and down goes the referee again. To the floor now and HHH takes a chokeslam through the Spanish Announce Table. Flair comes in with the sledgehammer but Kane stops it. HHH gets a low blow and a hammer shot but walks into a chokeslam. Flair (again) breaks up the pin and takes a chokeslam as a result. Back in and HHH hits the Pedigree to retain and retire the IC Title.

Rating: D. This more or less is what would happen in Raw World Title matches for the vast majority of the next year and a half. HHH would get dominated by a big guy but then Flair and the sledgehammer would come into play and HHH would of course retain. Kane more or less was done for a good while after this as he didn’t get to do anything because it was world title or nothing. That was the stupid part of the whole thing but it took about 9 months for them to realize it. The match sucked due to all of the garbage in it though.

Stephanie talks to the Tracy girl about the Undertaker thing and she admits Heyman made the whole thing up and she’s just going along with it. They had a relationship before he married Taker. This is “confidentially between the two of them.” I guess the camera means nothing.

We recap the tag team tournament and basically the two teams have been flying through the whole thing and are unstoppable. If Benoit and Angle fight they’re both suspended for a year.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle

This was the undisputed match of the year so this more or less has to be awesome. Edge is about as hot as possible here and Rey is pretty new here. Yeah he had been around only three months or so here. Edge is just straight up awesome here and the whole thing is just greatness. Angle vs. Rey to start us off. We have what, about 25 world titles in there? Angle takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to be a jerk.

Kurt is really the only heel in this match. He literally throws Rey into his own corner because he wants a grownup apparently. Rey won’t tag out though because he wants Angle. They had a great opener at Summerslam so this works for me. Rey can’t get out of much of anything so he steps on Kurt’s foot and hits him with what can only be called an FU.

He busts out the speed and slaps Angle in the back of the head just like Kurt did earlier. The announce table being in pieces is funny for some reason. Here’s Edge to a big old pop. This is before Edge hurt his neck so he’s a totally different worker here. Off to Benoit now. Expect a LOT of play by play here as if the reviews I’ve heard are any indication there isn’t going to be much to make fun of.

The Canadians do a much more technical sequence and it’s a lot more entertaining than you would think a side headlock should be. Edge gets a knee to Benoit’s ribs and focuses on them for a while. Flapjack and a rollup get two. And there’s a knee from Kurt as Edge hits the ropes to give Benoit an advantage. They try the same thing again but Edge spears him this time.

Benoit and Angle double team Edge in a very nice sequence. Back to Angle now. The fans are all over him which is always good to hear. Better for them to be making noise at all than to be bored. Rear naked choke to Edge and Rey is getting antsy. Tazz adds in something by saying Angle is making sure Edge is facing his partner to mess with his head. Nicely done Mr. suplex machine.

Edge gets a big boot but walks into a belly to belly for two and here’s Chris again. Here are the rolling Germans as Edge is getting the tar beaten out of him. Benoit goes a little heel by drilling Rey to keep him from making the save. Benoit goes up for the headbutt and down he comes off a big old superplex.

There’s the big tag to Rey and he cranks things WAY up. The good thing is that he’s in there against two guys that can do the same thing. He sets Benoit for a Bronco Buster but goes with a running dropkick instead. HUH-FREAKING-ZAH! Rey and Benoit crank things up ever more but Benoit gets a counter and hooks up the Crossface until Edge finally saves.

Edge vs. Angle on the floor along with Benoit and Rey in the ring. 619 is blocked by Benoit but Edge hits a missile dropkick to drive Rey onto Benoit for a long two. This is all happening at a very fast pace. Rey goes up but Angle JUMPS from the mat to the top for the HUGE belly to belly off the top for another long two. Benoit’s face is like WHAT at that.

Angle in now vs. Rey as things slow down a bit. Rey starts a bit of a comeback but gets caught in a quick suplex and crashes for two. Back to the short and crazy Canadian now. After more of a beating Rey gets a headscissors to send Benoit into the post and we get double tags to bring in Edge vs. Kurt. Edge-O-Matic gets two and everyone is back in again.

Spear in the corner to Benoit and there’s the Bronco Buster. I withdraw my former HUZZAH! Spear in the corner again to Angle and Edge sits him on the middle rope. Rey runs at Edge who throws him into the air for a big old rana. Benoit looks to save with the diving headbutt but it crushes Angle and only gets two. Angle busts out a German from nowhere for two. He shouts at Edge to go to the middle which Edge does.

In a VERY nice spot, Rey runs at Edge who belly to bellies him into Angle to take down the bald one. That’s what he gets for calling spots that loudly. Benoit saves the spear and grabs the Crossface and Edge is in trouble but he gets a rope. He won’t let go so Rey hits a 619 out of somewhere. Angle Slam takes out Rey and Angle locks on the ankle lock.

Edge kicks off and grabs a small package for two. Spear gets two as Benoit saves and Rey takes out Benoit. Rey gets a running start at Edge again and Edge catches him and gives him a very nice launch into a moonsault to take out Benoit. SICK counter out of the Edgecution by Angle into the ankle lock. Edge counters that into an ankle lock of his own but Angle is all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and counters into an ankle lock for the tap out and the titles. Sweet goodness as Cole says he’s going to applaud them for it.

Rating: A+. OH YES. Now this is what you get when you have two teams out there that are young and moving as fast as they can to make something look awesome. Smackdown was supposed to be the wrestling show back then and it certainly was.

These four plus Brock and Eddie were known as the Smackdown Six and were more or less there to have great matches every week. This is another fine example of it and it worked like a charm. Great match with some INSANE counters and saves and double teaming. Go watch it. Like now.

A doctor tells Taker that he shouldn’t give Taker a shot in the broken hand/wrist that he has. Nice to see him getting this maybe 15 minutes before the match starts.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Sweet merciful goodness Trish looks amazingly good tonight. She’s in her standard stuff but the blue with the long blonde hair and the big smile is WORKING. Victoria is currently known as Tara in TNA. Total bring the crowd down match after the awesome match they just had. Victoria is a bit more hardcore than the rest of the Divas. Trish was pretty good in the ring by this point and can more than carry herself.

You can tell that Trish has talent as she’s not afraid to go after Victoria here and clearly looks comfortable out there doing what she’s doing. When you watch the Divas today for the most part they clearly have to stop and make sure they’re doing everything right. With Trish like most of the male wrestlers, you can see she’s mostly going on instinct which is the better way of doing things.

Victoria in control here as she hits a front flip slingshot legdrop and then botches the heck out of a monkey flip to the extent that Trish landed on Victoria rather than hitting the mat. Victoria throws on an old school backbreaker which is the kind where they throw the other girl over her shoulder and pulls down. A big spinning sideslam gets no cover so Trish gets an electric chair drop for two. Chick Kick gets two before a neckbreaker and rollup end it.

Rating: D. This was just there but the sloppiness of it hurt things. Trish was getting a lot better but still wasn’t as great as she would get. Victoria wasn’t a character yet and was just a bit nuts and said that Trish slept her way to the top of the fitness modeling world. She would get the title the next month in a hardcore match. This was pretty much nothing.

Post match Victoria kicks the blonde’s head off.

We get a clip of Rikishi being thrown off the top of the Cell in 2000. Rikishi is at the World (WWE nightclub/restaurant) and says the match is no joke. He predicts Taker wins it.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Taker vs. Lesnar. They had a match at Unforgiven where Taker lost by DQ when he threw Brock through the set. In short he just didn’t want to put Lesnar over so they gave them two matches in a row. Lesnar has been champion for two months here so this is his second major title defense. Brock broke Taker’s hand and we threw in that Tracy chick who meant nothing apparently. This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

In the Cell remember. Taker keeps lunging at Brock and gets taken to the mat for his trouble. Big powerslam gets two for the champion and there’s the cast to Lesnar’s ribs after he misses a charge in the corner. Brock tries to escape but can’t get out so he hammers on the arm instead. He goes with an armbar which isn’t something you often see in a Cell match.

Taker blasts him in the head with it which is a double edged sword. Actually it’s a hard cast but you get the metaphor. Brock is busted BAD. Heyman is all freaked out. Brock is bleeding but there’s been worse in ECW so I guess he’s mellowed. They hit the floor and Taker beats the tar out of him and covers on the floor for two. You can do that? I don’t remember that before.

More cast shots which all of a sudden don’t hurt him. I guess he’s lucky that the shot he got kicked in sometime between the first big shot with it and this set of them. Lesnar gets put in place for the apron legdrop but Taker goes up and drops a knee (I think) from the top instead for two on the floor again. Heyman shouts at Brock to get away from Taker. Taker kicks Heyman through the cage in a nice shot.

He follows that up by grabbing Paul’s tie and pulling on it to slam him into the cage. Taker gets out of the way of a charging Brock who crashes into Heyman too. DAng he’s taken a beating tonight. Brock gets a good shot in though and sends him into the cage. Heyman is busted open too. He slips his belt in and ties Taker up with it so Lesnar can annihilate him a bit. Heyman shouting YOU’RE GONNA DIE is great stuff.

Lesnar, a 300lb beast, swings a chair about ten times to drill Taker’s hand each time. So in other words, Taker is probably in need of major surgery now on it. Let’s see if it hurts at all. Brock gets the cast off or at least tries to. Heyman sounds demonic out there. There goes the cast completely as they’re actually in the ring now.

In a cool spot, Brock sits him on the top rope and uses the top of the cage to lift himself up and throw kicks at Taker. Taker blocks a superplex despite being more or less dead. He knocks Lesnar to the mat and manages to drop an elbow off the top with the right hand and seems to be just fine. Shocking isn’t it? I’m not used to seeing Taker’s bare hand. Taker kicks Brock into the cage and has momentum again.

Taker dives through the ropes and more or less completely misses but Brock sells it anyway. Cole thinks Taker’s broken right hand could be a weakness for him. Wow indeed. Steps to the head take Taker down again and busts him open. More steps to the head and Taker is more or less done. His face is COVERED in blood.

Back in the ring Brock gets a big spinebuster for two. ZERO pop for the kickout. And naturally Taker is able to throw big right hands and is “running on adrenaline” apparently. Oh give me a break. The blood on the camera is always a nice touch. Old School is blocked and Brock takes over again. Tazz: Undertaker has never been pinned or submitted. What the heck is this guy on?

F5 is reversed into a chokeslam for two which gets a bigger pop than the kickout did a minute ago. Brock goes for a Last Ride and is reversed. DDT gets two.  Good night Taker is bleeding badly. Brock does the punches in the corner which Taker counters with the Last Ride for two as Brock’s bloody hand grabs the rope.

In something SICK on the cover, Taker’s blood drips onto Brock’s face. That’s not good at all and really isn’t safe in the slightest. That’s a big reason as to why the blood policy is a good thing. Taker goes for the Tombstone and Brock is like screw this let’s end it and counters it before literally throwing Taker onto his shoulders for the F5 to retain. We then get what is supposed to be an iconic scene as he grabs the title and climbs to the top of the Cell where he holds it over his head to end the show.

Rating: C. Hard one to call here as the match itself is more or less crap. It’s about 27 minutes long and at least 15 of that is spent on the floor. Taker’s hand thing was eye rolling levels of stupid as all of a sudden a shot is able to heal 5 chair shots from Brock Lesnar to a broken hand. Brock looked great here, but the main reason this is a decent grade is the blood.

If you like bloody matches, RUN out and find a copy of this show. Taker’s blood is absolutely insane as you can’t see his face and it looks like there’s a hole in his forehead. It’s a big brawl but Taker was really looking bad out there, both from how his face looked to how he was working. I didn’t like the match, but the blood was insane.

Overall Rating: D+. This isn’t quite a one match show but it’s very close. The tag match is required viewing, but other than that there isn’t anything absolutely worth seeing. The Cell match is a very case by case basis of whether or not you should watch it. Other than that though everything here is very hit or miss and nothing you couldn’t find anywhere with relative ease. This show isn’t terrible, but it’s not very good. Tag title match is absolutely worth seeing though. Other than that, not really worth it.

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No Mercy 2003
Date: October 19, 2003
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally back to WWE PPVs here with three more No Mercy’s. This is a smackdown show with the main event being a Biker Chain match with Brock defending against Taker. Also on the card is Vince vs. Stephanie where Stephanie is fighting for control of the brand. This is the culmination of a VERY badly received feud between these two where they wouldn’t get off of the show no matter how much people said they were sick of Vince vs. Steph. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Stephanie vs. Vince. This was by far and away pushed as the main event of the show. This is tied into home movies of the two of them and how she was daddy’s little girl. Oh and there’s a world title match too.

The set looks cheap and like it had about 4 seconds of thought put into it.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending and is the EVIL Japanese guy who spat mist at Nidia to blind her recently. They tie up and roll to the floor quickly but head back in to strike it off. Rey goes into a leglock to control which is reversed into an armbar by Tajiri. Rey dropkicks the knee out and counters the handspring elbow with a dropkick to the back. There’s a big dive and the crowd gets into it a bit.

Back in Rey goes up but has his arm draped over the top and the champ takes over. Tajiri kicks him HARD in the corner and works over the arm again. Rey hits his climbing the ropes wristdrag but Tajiri kicks him in the arm again and adds one to the head to take over. No one has been able to keep an advantage that long at all. They go up but Tajiri is knocked off, allowing Rey to hit a tornado DDT for two.

Springboard crossbody gets two as well. Crucifix is countered by Tajiri but Rey counters into a pin attempt of his own. With one good arm, Rey uses his legs to send Tajiri to the floor and adds a rana to take over. Back in Tajiri kicks him in the stomach and whips him in but Rey comes back with a 619 to the ribs. West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb for a close two.

Rey gets launched onto the top but lands on his feet and hits a moonsault press for two. AWESOME looking sequence. Rey rolls through a sunset flip and hits a dropkick to the face. Here comes the 619 and Tajiri is in big trouble. Mysterio hits the West Coast Pop but a “fan” runs in. Rey goes after him, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the head for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. The fan was Jimmy Yang who was supposed to be part of Tajiri’s Yakuza faction which never really came together. As for the match, the selling hurt this one a lot for me as Rey’s arm seemed fine after about ten seconds and Tajiri didn’t really sell anything at all. It’s a good opener but nothing really memorable.

Vince says anyone that interferes tonight is fired and will be blacklisted from this business. Josh Matthews looks like he’s about 14 here.

A-Train vs. Chris Benoit

A-Train got probably the biggest push of his career at this point as he was in the midcard. This would more or less be the last part of said push. Tazz: “They love pierced nipples in Denmark.” Benoit tries to go for the knee but A-Train runs him over with the power. Train throws him to the floor again and Benoit isn’t sure what to do with him. A-Train takes over again and pounds him down, hitting a splash for two.

We talk about Stu Hart dying three days before this as A-Train stomps away even more. Cole praises him as he always does while Train pounds on Benoit’s neck in the corner. He hits that slingshot into the middle rope move he used most of the time to further work on Benoit’s neck. Train loads up a Pedigree grip but lifts Benoit into the air and drives Benoit’s head into his knee, getting two and a busted mouth for the Wolverine.

Benoit fires back but Train rams him down with a double ax to the chest. Off to a bow and arrow hold but Benoit speeds things up and hits a DDT to slow the Train down. In a big change of pace, the American hits a German on the Canadian to put him down. A-Train goes to the floor and pulls in a chair. Train tries something on Benoit but Benoit tries to slide down into a sunset flip. Instead, Benoit falls and lands ON HIS HEAD on the chair. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

Benoit grabs the Crossface but A-Train counters. Instead it’s Rolling Germans time but A-Train gets up and slams him off the top to counter the Swan Dive. The bald one mocks the Benoit throat slit signal and looks to go up. He realizes how crazy that would be and comes down for a Derailer (chokebomb) instead. That only gets two so he loads up the bicycle kick. He kicks through the chair in the corner though, making Benoit dragon screw him and the Sharpshooter gets the tap.

Rating: C. This was better than I would have expected, but then again it’s Benoit against a big monster. That’s probably what he’s second best at and it worked well here. A-Train wouldn’t mean anything after this and after Benoit took everything he had, I can’t say I disagree with that. Decent match but I’m not sure it belonged on PPV.

Matt looks for Shannon Moore in the back for his match but finds him being choked by Heidenreich. Heidenreich talks about Little Johnny which is something they never really explained. There’s something about a highlight video being thrown away and Heidenreich being mad about it. Matt calms him down.

We acknowledge the presence of a bunch of military people heading to Iraq tomorrow. That’s a new war at this point.

Zach Gowen vs. Matt Hardy

Gowen is the guy with one leg that got pushed to the moon for some reason. Matt’s Facts for the night: Matt cannot be grossed out and Matt has survived five car wrecks. This has something to do with Brock breaking Gowen’s leg and Matt declaring a win over Gowen at Summerslam. Gowen uses his speed and some kicks to take over. A middle rope bulldog gets two.

Shannon breaks up a springboard to give Matt his first advantage. A big clothesline flips Gowen inside out for two. Matt hooks a suplex and works on the arms for some reason. Hey Matt, GO FOR THE LEG! Matt goes up and misses a moonsault as Gowen tries to get the crowd to care. Gowen kicks Matt to the floor and hits a somersalt plancha to the floor. Cross body gets two back inside. Matt grabs the Side Effect for two. Gowen goes up again but Matt follows. Hardy is knocked off and a moonsault by Gowen gets the pin.

Rating: D. And that’s the last you’ll see of Zach Gowen. That’s one of the more questionable booking choices you’ll ever see but it’s WWE in 2003 so what are you expecting? Gowen was supposed to be a feel good story but the word from backstage was that he was a total jerk who thought he was some huge star. I never got the appeal of him.

Linda appeals to Vince to not have the match. He says he’s going through with it but changes the rules of the match: Stephanie can pin him instead of just winning by submission. Oh and the match is now no holds barred.

Basham Brothers vs. APA

This is about the APA hurting the Basham’s manager Shaniqua. The Bashams are named Doug and Danny, which are the names of my uncles so I’ve always liked this team. Bradshaw is blonde here which doesn’t work for him at all. He and Doug start things off but it’s off to Farrooq quickly. Off to Danny who has no luck, just like his brother. Were they brothers? I know they really aren’t but were they on screen? I’m not sure.

Doug gets in a shot to take over but his splash hits Farrooq’s knees and a brawl breaks out. Cole and Tazz get into a stupid argument as the Dominator is escaped. The Bashams hit a double belly to back suplex for two and Farrooq is in trouble. Bradshaw runs in to try to help his partner, because doing it a minute ago worked oh so well.

Off to a chinlock to eat up a few minutes until Farrooq hits a spinebuster and makes the hot tag. Bradshaw cleans house and hits the powerbomb for two on Danny. Everything breaks down and it’s Last Calls (fall away slam) all around. There goes the referee and Bradshaw hits the Clothesline. Shaniqua comes in and hits Bradshaw with a club of some sort for the pin.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t terrible I guess, but what in the world was the reason to give this nine minutes on PPV? Also why did we have to see Shaniqua in a dominatrix outfit? The match should have been on Smackdown or cut in half, but that’s the danger of single branded PPVs. The Bashams were the flavor of the month on Smackdown while the APA would split in March.

The Bashams and Shaniqua celebrate in the back and Shaniqua talks about her chest swelling, which is her explanation for some plastic surgery. Whipping is promised. I didn’t need to see this.

We recap Vince vs. Stephanie, which of course gets the biggest build of anything on the show. They were all nice and close (the Alliance Era being completely overlooked I guess) and Vince made her the GM of Smackdown. There was something about Vince sleeping with Sable and wanting Steph to resign and A-Train was involved, beating up Stephanie. The recaps were really weak back then, making it hard to tell what was going on. Vince wanted Steph to quit but she wouldn’t resulting in an I Quit match where the loser would have to resign their job. The acting is cringe worthy.

Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon

I Quit match and Stephanie can win by pin as well. It’s also no holds barred and no one can interfere on her behalf. Linda is here too to make sure this match is acted even worse. Sable is with Vince. Vince jumps Stephanie to start. He’s evil you know. Stephanie jumps on his back and screams a lot. She kicks him into the corner so he runs her over. Vince throws her around and Cole is up to about 20 “THAT’S HIS DAUGHTER” lines a minute.

Sable slaps Stephanie so Linda chases her around. Vince hooks a half crab and Stephanie screams a lot. Off to a bow and arrow and Stephanie can’t even sell her face properly. Sable slides in a pipe but Linda stops her. Vince grabs Linda so she slaps him and Steph hits Vince low with the pipe for two. She pulls the pipe back and hits him in the ribs and the back and in the face but Vince doesn’t go down. A shot from the middle rope to the top of the head gets two.

This match has been going on about four minutes and I already hate it. Sable gets in a fight with Stephanie so Stephanie rams Vince into her and bulldogs him for two. She gets the pipe again but Vince grabs her by the throat and shoves her down. Now Vince has the pipe and hits her inthe ribs. He chokes her with the pipe and Linda shouts to quit because it’s not worth it. Linda throws in the towel because Stephanie can’t give up. You know, to protect her reputation and all that.

Rating: F. This got more of a build than the world title match, the US Title match and the Angle vs. Cena match. You figure out why this was a failure.

We get about four minutes of replays and Vince gloating because we really need to drive the point home. Stephanie does the big walkout because people are supposed to care. Paul Heyman would replace her as GM. Cole and Tazz treat this like Stephanie was murdered in front of us.

We recap Cena vs. Angle. Cena is a rapper here who says he’s the real American icon and Angle is jealous about replacing him. Cena is the heel here which is a rare sight. This gets the music video treatment. There was a battle rap which was pretty funny, as was Angle dressing as a “thug”. There was an Angle midget too, which is the height of WWE comedy.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena does a quick rap implying that Kurt is stupid and isn’t, uh, large. Oh and he’s gay. Cena as a totally disrespectful young punk is an interesting character for him. Angle is here as the old veteran that’s going to beat respect into Cena. Kurt takes him to the mat and runs him all over the place. Cena gets to the corner and looks terrified. The fans chant for Cena as the fans are still starting to like him here.

John runs him over a few times but Kurt easily takes him to the mat and works on the arm again. Angle ducks under a right hand and flips Cena a double bird. Cena comes back with a HARD clothesline and gets to the ground and pound. Angle comes back with a shoulder to the ribs in the corner but a second one hits post. Neckbreaker gets two for Cena. Protobomb gets the same and it’s off to the front facelock.

The dueling chants begin and Angle fires off some punches but he walks into a spinebuster for two. Cena goes up but Angle runs the corner. He gets knocked off so Cena jumps off with a double ax, but Angle dropkicks the knee on the way down. I can’t believe it: Angle actually hurting the leg before the ankle lock. Kurt wins a slugout and hits a Russian legsweep for two. He grabs the ankle lock but Cena grabs the rope immediately.

Out to the floor but they’re back in before I finish typing that sentence. They slug it out on the apron and Angle tries to German him off to the floor. Cena counters and DDTs him (landing on the shoulder) onto the apron to put Kurt down. Angle staggers back in but Cena dives off the top with the Fameasser for two. Kurt comes back with a German but Cena dropkicks Kurt’s knee out. Throwback gets two.

Cena misses a charge and it’s time for the the Rolling Germans which get two. Kurt can’t follow up so Cena hits a Buckle Bomb for two. The FU hits but Angle gets out at 2.9. I know the finish to the match already and even I thought that was going to be three. Another FU is countered into the Angle Slam but Cena gets out at two as well. Cena gets the chain but has them taken away. Gold medals to the head get two. Another FU attempt is countered into a backslide for two. FU is countered into the ankle lock and Cena taps. There’s something you don’t see everyday.

Rating: B+. It’s Cena vs. Angle for 18 minutes. What were you expecting here? Cena was nowhere near as good as he’d get but you could see the abilities here that were about to shine through. The near falls in this were great and it was clear that they had something special with Cena. He would turn face by Mania and would win the US Title there and the world title the next year.

Wrestlemania is coming.

We recap Big Show vs. Eddie. Eddie poured human wasted on Show so Show destroyed Eddie on a truck.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Big Show

Eddie is defending. His back looks AWFUL from going through the windshield of the truck on Smackdown. Eddie jumps Show to start which goes about as well as you would expect. Show comes back with a clothesline and works over the bad back of Eddie. Guerrero manages to duck a charging Show and send him to the outside. Eddie throws in a chair to distract the referee then whacks Show in the head with a trashcan lid.

Back in and Eddie chops him which just angers the monster. He takes it to the floor and rams Eddie into the barricade. Back in and Show stays on the back. The fans aren’t all that thrilled but Eddie manages to ram Show’s head into the exposed buckle. When the buckle was exposed I’m not sure but it certainly was exposed. Froggy Cross Body gets two and the referee gets crushed.

Eddie pulls out a foreign object to clock Show and wakes up the referee for a two count. He hits Show in the head with the title and hits the Frog Splash but the slow count only gets two. Show’s arm didn’t actually get off the mat but whatever. Eddie charges into a spinebuster for two. There’s a chokeslam but Eddie gets his foot on the rope at two. Eddie kicks him low to break up another chokeslam and a DDT puts Show down for two. And then a chokeslam gives Show the title. Totally anti-climactic ending.

Rating: C-. This was pretty dull. The problem as always with Big Show is that it’s hard for anyone to get much realistic offense in on him. Eddie was certainly trying here but the ending didn’t help anything at all. It just happened and that’s usually the worst kind of a loss. Eddie would be world champion in February, so I don’t get this one at all.

Show says he told us so.

We recap Brock vs. Taker. Brock had turned heel recently and was Vince’s main monster so Taker is his first challenger. This gets another music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

This is a Biker Chain match which means chain on a pole. Brock runs from Taker to start but Taker grabs the arm. Lesnar hooks a bearhug to block it, so Taker spends the next two minutes trying to get the stupid thing but still can’t hook it. FINALLY he hits the thing and rolls Brock up for two. The chain is optional apparently. Out to the floor and Taker is sent into the barricade to give the champ control.

Brock takes over back in the ring and rams Taker into the corner. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. The crowd doesn’t care at all here. Out to the floor again and Taker hits an elbow to the face. Taker comes back with a clothesline for two and then hot shots Brock to buy himself a break. Taker goes after the chain and the lights go out. He hops down and Brock breaks up his run up the corner.

A powerslam gets two for the champ. This is so boring it’s unreal. The steps are brought in so this is No DQ I guess. Brock does the Raven drop toehold to send Taker into the steps. Deadman blocks some shots into the steps and knocks Lesnar to the floor. Taker follows and piledrives Brock onto the steps. Cole thinks Taker might have gotten the worst of it. How exactly? Brock is down, Taker is up and walking around. Why am I trying to figure Cole out?

Taker goes after the chain again but Brock saves. As he brings Taker down, Brock gets caught in a triangle choke over the top rope. Back in and the steps go into Taker’s head for two. The steps are kicked into Brock’s head on the second attempt. The steps are accidentally thrown to the floor and Taker loads up the Last Ride. Lesnar escapes and they collide to put both guys down.

Clothesline sets up snake eyes which sets up the big boot. Taker calls for the chokeslam but Lesnar counters and hits a spinebuster for two. The cover is countered into a triangle choke minus the choke. The chain has been completely forgotten here. Lesnar powerbombs out of the choke and knocks Undertaker down again. Brock gets caught in a standing Dragon Sleeper but he counters into the F5. This is a lot less interesting than it sounds. The F5 gets two.

Brock goes for the chain but gets chokeslammed off the top. Naturally Taker looks for the chain instead of covering the dead champion. It wakes the crowd up at least but the freaking FBI runs in to break up the attempt. They’re a jobbing trio that Taker beat up earlier in the year. Taker beats them up and the F5 is countered into the Last Ride. Ok, so Lesnar is done. Taker’s next move? The Taker Dive onto the FBI. Why are faces such idiots? Nunzio goes after the chain but Taker knocks him down and FINALLY gets the chain. Then Vince pops up to crotch Taker and Brock gets the chain and knocks Taker out to retain.

Rating: D-. AWFUL ending to a boring match. It was like the whole point of this match was to bore the crowd as much as they could and then tease them with something interesting before the fourth guy running in could cause the ending. This set up Survivor Series with Taker vs. Vince which set up Taker leaving and becoming the Dead Man again. Just awful here though and no one cared until about 22 minutes in.

Overall Rating: D. It’s not the worst show ever, but it’s that awful combination of bad and boring which only a few shows have. Angle vs. Cena is quite good but the rest of it is stuff that isn’t required viewing at all. This is a show you easily could have passed on and I’d assume most people probably did, especially due to Vince and Stephanie being pushed this hard. Bad show.

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Teddy is running Raw and Ace is running Smackdown. I’m not entirely sure what this solves but it mixes things up a bit.

Edit: Apparently this is just for a week. So much for it meaning anything.

Thoughts on this?

Clash of the Champions 30
Date: January 25, 1995
Location: Casear’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 3,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Back to 1995 WCW because all of the time I had suffered through it wasn’t enough I guess. This is another attempt by me to end this far too long stretch of stuff I’ve done with WCW. Tonight, the main event is Hogan/Savage vs. Butcher/Sullivan and we also get Sting vs. Avalanche because…well because someone has to fight him I suppose. I’m not looking forward to this but let’s get to it.

We run down the card which includes a video of Savage shaking Hogan’s hand instead of slapping him in the face at Starrcade. You know, because that would have made things interesting and such.

Flair may be here, despite being retired.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd

This was voted on by fans. Anderson has Colonel Parker with him as manager at this point and is champion. This is a rematch after Anderson stole the title earlier in the month. Fans are walking around in droves in the crowd. Badd takes over and Anderson chills in the corner to break the momentum. Anderson takes over for a few seconds but for some reason tries to go up top. His career record up there is worse than Flair’s so Badd dropkicks him down to the floor.

Badd adds a big dive to the floor and works on the arm in the ring. The idea here is that Anderson can’t keep up with Badd’s speed. The announcers talk about how WCW had the only wrestling show in the top 100 cable shows. This is pre-Nitro so that’s on the weekends only, which is pretty impressive. Johnny tries to jump over Arn in the corner but gets caught and clotheslined on the top like a Stun Gun.

Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long and Arn keeps control. He sets for the traditional jump off the rope into the boot but Arn, ever the genius (no sarcasm) landso n his feet and drops an elbow for two. Badd starts his comeback and knocks Anderson out cold to the floor. Colonel Parker pours water on Anderson and Chase the Manager begins. Badd comes in but gets caught in a DDT to end this.

Rating: D+. This started off pretty well but after that it fell apart quickly. This feud would go on at least until Uncensored where they had a boxing match for not much of a reason. This went nowhere after it became a kick and punch and chinlock match. It could have been worse, but this was a clearly screwy ending coming a mile away.

Kevin Sullivan says that Flair and Vader both may be here plus a guest for Vader. Sullivan says that even though Hogan is surrounded by friends, he’s going to get stabbed in the back. Butcher (Beefcake) says nothing significant in his heel promo.

Video on Alex Wright, who was a hot commodity at this point.

Alex Wright vs. Bobby Eaton

This was far more common back in the day: take a guy like Eaton and put him in the ring with a guy like Wright and let Eaton make Wright look great. It was very common back in the day and very effective. Wright grabs an armbar which doesn’t last long. A headscissors takes Alex down but we’re right back to the arm again. Alex misses a dive and lands on the top rope as Eaton takes over.

Eaton hooks a chinlock and this isn’t going anywhere for the most part. Wright grabs a suplex but hurts his own neck on it to shift momentum again. Spinwheel kick puts him down and a missile dropkick gets two. This really isn’t as good as they were expecting I don’t think. Cross body for two. Eaton pops up out of nowhere and hits the Alabama Jam (top rope legdrop) for two but Wright hits another cross body for two.

Rating: D. This didn’t do much at all for me here. The first few minutes were really boring and then after that, the whole thing was nothing but Wright hitting something for two and then hitting another one of something he hit earlier for the pin. I know Eaton was good but this didn’t work at all for me.

Gene talks about Hogan vs. Vader and how they can’t fight until SuperBrawl. Here’s Vader (US Champion at this point) who says Race might be here tonight and he has a ticket for him. He asks who is the man and gets a mixed response. Vader has looked for Hogan everywhere but there’s been no Hulk. He says Hogan is hiding but Vader will have a ticket tonight.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Stars N Stripes

Bagwell/Patriot are the challengers. And they’re late. Instead….here’s Ric Flair. He was retired at this point due to the events of Halloween Havoc. Heenan goes over to shake Flair’s hand, being the suckup that he is. Flair takes a seat in the front row. Here are Stars N Stripes. Booker vs. Bagwell to start with Bagwell hammering away. This is a return match after the Heat basically stole the titles.

Bagwell dropkicks him to the floor and the challengers clear the ring. The fans chant USA. Why can’t Harlem Heat be patriotic? They’re from New York which is certainly part of the United States. Patriot hammers away on Stevie and works on the arm a bit. Really basic tag match here and not much to say for the first three to five minutes.

Bagwell is getting beaten down at the moment, taking that spinning forearm smash for two. The fans show their anti-New York sentiment again. The announcers talk about why Vader has two seats at ringside since Harley Race isn’t here. Heenan: “Maybe he’s going to use the other chair to crack Hogan over the head.” A few seconds of silence pass. Tony: “Maybe he’s going to use the other chair as a weapon.” Heenan never got a break.

The champions keep beating down Bagwell but Sherri gets on the apron to keep the tag from being noticed. The American comes in anyway and everything breaks down. Sherri’s shoe comes in somehow and Bagwell gets an O’Connor Roll on Stevie. Booker kicks his head off to reverse the control though and the Heat keeps the titles.

Rating: D. Total meh match here. This felt like they were told there had to be a tag title match so here’s a quick one so that we can say we had one. It’s not that the match is bad but rather that it’s painfully boring. The Heat would hold the titles for like 5 months until the Nasty Boys won them after they lost them. Long story, don’t ask.

The Monster Maniacs (Hogan/Savage) say exactly what you would expect them to say.

Off to the Control Center which discusses SuperBrawl. One of the things we learn here: Vader has a ticket to tonight’s show. Top notch reporting there Gene!

Sting vs. Avalanche

Guardian Angel (Big Boss Man) is guest referee. Big brawl to start and I think it’s going to be a safe bet that if you’ve seen one of these Sting vs. monster matches you’ve seen them all. Flair has left his seat. Avalanche drops an Earthquake on Sting but poses instead of covering. You know, because THAT has a great track record. There’s a powerslam for two. Sting takes him down and does the falling headbutt to the balls spot. There’s the Splash in the corner and make it two of them. Ok three and the fourth sets up a slam for the Scorpion to end this.

Rating: C-. Dull match but Sting’s incredible charisma helped it a lot. The splashes in the corner worked well enough and the slam is always impressive. The inherent problem with WCW at this time though was that none of these monsters ever got a pin, which really hurt things after awhile because this feud would go on for almost a year.

Nick Patrick came out to call the submission. Angel got in Sting’s face and they brawled, with Angel helping for a double beatdown on Sting. Alex Wright and Stars and Stripes make the save.

Angel says he was disrespected. He says he’s Big Bubba Rogers again.

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Sullivan/The Butcher

Vader is up and all annoyed for Hogan’s entrance. Flair is back in his seat now also. Hogan and Butcher are set to start us off but Butcher stalls like a true southern man. Savage comes in and this is totally one sided to start us off, which is about what you would expect. Back to Hogan who beats on Beefcake even more. Hogan hits a jumping knee (called a boot by that moron Schiavone) but Butcher hooks the sleeper, which put Hogan out at the last Clash.

Now we get one of the weirdest moments ever in wrestling history. Butcher puts Hogan out with the sleeper but lets go early ala Adrian Adonis at Mania 3. The heels celebrate so Savage comes in to wake Hogan up. It doesn’t work, so Savage goes up top and drops the big elbow on Hogan. For absolutely no logical reason at all, this wakes Hogan up and he’s fine again. WHAT SENSE IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE??? I mean who came up with that idea??? Cocaine is a powerful drugs kid.

The heels start cheating and take over with evil tactics, including throwing Savage to the floor. It turns into a standard tag match with Butcher and Sullivan hammering away on Savage. Savage is on the floor and is all shaky as Hogan checks on him. I think they’re playing up that he might have a concussion without saying he’s got a concussion. Back inside he gets rammed by the Tree of Woe because Hogan got drawn into the ring.

The sleeper doesn’t work and Savage kicks Brutus away for the hot tag to Hogan. Notice the pretty weak pop for him coming in for the save WCW. Everything breaks down and Savage drops the elbow on Brutus but Hogan gets to drop the leg for the pin, because goodness knows we can’t have the new guy get the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s just a main event tag match and not a very good one. The problems that WCW had are really showing themselves here: Hogan never loses. I mean he never even got close to losing. He never broke a sweat here and Savage doesn’t even get the pinfall. Also, having Kevin Sullivan and Brutus Beefcake as the top heels didn’t help anything. Vader got beaten up by Hogan so much that he gave up and went to the WWF.

Vader comes in post match for the big staredown. Vader beats him down easily and powerbombs him….and Hogan pops right back up, showing that Vader has zero chance at all of beating him clean. Hogan and Savage clear the ring and stand tall. As Vader leaves, he manages to plug the show: “The champ goes down February 19 in Baltimore. Be there and witness history!” He shouts that at the camera as he leaves. See how simply you can add something to the show’s build? Why is that so hard? Oh because we need things trending on Twitter right?

Hogan and Savage pose for two minutes to end this. Running short on time I guess.

Overall Rating: D. This was boring. That sums up WCW in this year: everything was predictable and only Hogan and his friends got significant time. Not an interesting show at all and not even a big commercial for SuperBrawl (which sucked) really. It wouldn’t be helped at all until Giant came in around October to FINALLY give Hogan a challenge. Bad show, and this whole year isn’t worth watching.

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