Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2012
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main thing to see tonight is that Rock is back (again). We’re scheduled to get his response to Cena’s promo from last week. This should be the start of the serious part of their feud as opposed to the stupid comments that Rock has made over the past year which have been based on comedy rather than the desire to see a fight. Let’s get to it.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Nice to see another match getting the proper build. Saving something for PPV? What does that mean? Punk comes out first but Jericho comes out instead of Bryan. He says Punk is one of his favorites but Punk isn’t as good as he is. Jericho never had to say he was the best in the world because everyone else said it for him. He talks about how he didn’t care what people said backstage because he knew he’d have the best match on the card.

Punk yells at Jericho, talking about how Jericho didn’t invent everything in wrestling. Did he invent being from Canada? Jericho says Punk doesn’t take anything seriously but he needs to do it with Jericho, because he’s something different. Punk goes off on Jericho again, talking about he’s been here talking about he knows he’s the best and has been here swimming with sharks while Jericho was off Dancing With The Stars. Jericho says he’s still the best and while he was off doing all that stuff, all he was thinking about was Punk and proving that he’s the best in the world.

Oh yeah we’ve got a match to get to. Bryan comes out and jumps Punk. Ace, Otunga, Long and Santino are all at ringside. The bell will officially ring after a break. Back with Brian firing off kicks in the corner but Punk hits a cross body out of the corner for two. Teddy and Ace are on commentary here so Cole sucks up to Ace. Punk comes back with knees to the back for two. He backdrops Bryan to the floor and sets to dive, but Bryan calls AJ over to tend to him.

The distraction lets Bryan take Punk’s knee out and send him into the steps. We take another break (pretty fast no?) and come back with Bryan holding an abdominal stretch. We missed the ending from last week with Punk almost winning off a superplex with the interlocking legs. Punk hits the knee in the corner but he bulldog is countered. He slams Bryan down and hits the top rope elbow but his ribs are too hurt to cover.

Otunga tries to interfere but Punk kicks him down. LeBell Lock is countered and Otunga gets up again. The wrestlers hit stereo cross bodies as Santino knocks Otunga down. Ace pulls Santino down as Bryan is walking out. Sheamus throws him back in and Punk hits the GTS. Ace says that’s a DQ and the bell rings at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the time to be anything good and was more about setting up Smackdown vs. Raw at Wrestlemania than the match itself. Clearly they needed to use the world titles against each other to accomplish this too right? The match again didn’t have a clean ending which is good, but it’s having these potential main event matches for free on TV that makes PPV matches less important.

Punk poses on the stage when Jericho runs out and beats him up. He slams Punk on the stage and puts him in the Liontamer.

We get a video on HHH vs. Undertaker from last year with testimonials from big names and The Miz saying how amazing it was. IT WASN’T THAT GOOD!

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki slams her into the mat to start and does a Hennig neck snap. Kelly does her screaming headscissors and kicks the other Bella down. She reverses a rollup to pin Nikki at 1:30. Your usual Divas stuff.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz says that no one works harder than he does and how he’s flown 16 hours to do PR in Russia. For some reason though he isn’t even on the card for Wrestlemania yet. What better way to show why he should be on it than by beating the guy that he beat in the main event last year? Miz escapes a quick AA attempt and hits his usual stuff to take over. Cena hits a backdrop and some clotheslines but walks into Miz’s short DDT for two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz goes up, but misses his top rope ax handle. Cena starts up his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle. AA and STF end this at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Miz gets crushed. Again. This is the problem with most upper midcard guys anymore: there’s no way to get them taken seriously because they’re always against a big star on TV and half the time they have to lose. Maybe they shouldn’t have these matches on free TV? Nah that’s crazy talk.

Rock pops up on screen and does the You Can’t See Me sign.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Ok then. This is actually more like the WCW Triangle matches where you have three people in the ring at once. You can only tag your partner though. Kofi, Dolph and Primo start us off but Ziggler chills on the floor. Things break down quickly and now there’s no one in the ring. Kofi and Swagger fall to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Primo, Swagger and Truth in the ring and Swagger breaking up a Truth sunset flip. Swagger and Primo get in an argument and it’s off to Ziggler. A great dropkick by Ziggler puts Truth down but Primo tries to steal the pin. Truth comes back and hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to both guys. A double tag prevents the tag to Kofi but Swagger gets in a fight with Epico, allowing the hot tag to Kofi.

He cleans house with his high flying stuff and gets two off the cross body. A double Boom Drop to one of each opponents but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag to break up the Trouble in Paradise. Swagger gets two off that and then grabs the ankle lock on Epico. Trouble in Paradise takes Swagger down and Primo hits a Backstabber on Kofi, allowing Epico to steal the pin to retain at 8:21.

Rating: C. Why in the world would you keep the titles on these guys? No one cares about them, they’re not particularly good and their matches are nothing special. Is this supposed to prove that they’re better than these two teams? Not having them lose clean to Kofi/Truth last week would have done the same thing.

Post match Kane comes out to clear the ring and beat up everyone in sight.

Ace and Otunga are in the back talking about the Oscars when Teddy comes in. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Eve heel turn and her wanting to use Cena.

Here’s Eve in the arena with new EVIL music. She says she doesn’t care that she uses people because it’s not her fault that men can’t resist her. The men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. And that’s it.

We see Eve in the back and Kelly messes up the whole thing with her awful acting. Alicia is next to Kelly for no apparent reason. Eve leaves them there.

Trailer for Edge’s new movie. Oh great. It’s a buddy comedy.

Orton is back on Smackdown to face Bryan.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry

Henry isn’t allowed time off to heal is he? Cody shows us a clip from Mania where Show lost to Floyd Mayweather. Cody immediately tags Henry in and Show stomps him down to start. Show spears him down and glares at Cody who is on the ramp. Sheamus tags himself in and Brogue Kicks Henry down for the pin at 59 seconds.

The Board of Directors are going to announce something at 10am tomorrow and it might involve potential leadership changes on both shows.

We get a recap of Cena’s promo last week and Rock is up next.

Shawn will be on Raw next week.

Here’s Rock for the big response. The fans chant for him and he seems legit taken back by it. Rock says look at his arm which is real. He’s covered in goosebumps because this feels good. He says this might surprise some people, but he’s not here every week. Him saying he’d never leave didn’t mean that he’d be at Raw and Smackdown every week. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles.

Rock says he was born and raised in this business and is here for no reason other than because he loves the WWE. He’ll always be a part of it and it’ll always be a part of him. He finally says Cena’s name and the people boo. For years, Rock thought Cena was a phony. He didn’t think that someone who graduated from a private school could become the Doctor of Thuganomics. But then Rock realized that Cena really is that guy.

Cena said that it took forever to get to Rock but why, when he has Rock’s cell phone number. Instead of talking on the phone or in person though, Rock would rather slap him in the face with a piece of kung pow chicken. Last week Cena said that he’ll fight at Wrestlemania for all of the people in the back that love to be a professional wrestler. Rock grew up as one and he was always taught that no one was going to fight for himself but himself.

When he was climbing the ladders (he climbed ladders?) do you think anyone fought for him? Do you think anyone fought for Austin, Savage or Piper? Rock fights for the people, not the boys in the back. He says kung pow is now trending world wide. That made my eyes roll. Rock says the people aren’t tired of being entertained. That’s what he does: he entertains.

Rock says he mentioned Cena eating Fruity Pebbles and then a few months later, Cena was on a cereal box. He said lady parts and it was chanted. Now Rock leads them in chants of Rocky and lady parts. That’s what Rock does: he entertains. The most interesting thing Cena has done all year is change the kind of shorts he wears to camouflage. That’s been effective because we can’t find his balls anywhere. And cue Rock telling us that Cena’s missing balls is trending.

Cue Cena thank goodness. Cena says that only Rock could come up with calling someone kung pow chicken. He is the guy that talks Rock down because Rock isn’t here. However, Rock is only half right because Cena will run Rock down when Rock is here too. Cena used to love Rock too until he met Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is self-centered and egotistical and Cena doesn’t need words trending on Twitter, or his promo printed on his wrist (which Rock apparently had).

At Wrestlemania, Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson, not The Rock like everyone else will see. Cena says carry on and continue trending and leaves. Rock says that’s just like Cena to walk away before the right. Rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person and he’ll be kicking Cena all over Wrestlemania, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock sounded REALLY desperate after Cena left.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about Rock’s response to Cena and the rest of the show meant nothing. That being said, the rest of the show did nothing for me at all. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but nothing on it made me any more interested in the show than I already am. Punk and Jericho are going to have a good match but it’s going to mean nothing in the long run by comparison.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry

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All-American Wrestling
Date: March 31, 1985
Host: Gene Okerlund
Commentators: Jack Reynolds, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino

No Mercy 03 is downloading so here’s a show you don’t often see: it’s from Wrestlemania Sunday. Who knows when this was taped but it’s literally airing hours before the biggest show ever. This should be interesting as far as seeing what they say about the upcoming show. Other than that I don’t know what to expect but the matches are taped so it’s not like we’ll be missing much. Let’s get to it.

The theme song is very patriotic.

The featured match is the Bulldogs vs. Goulet/Barry O. I’m riveted to see that. Yep Gene is talking about Mania which is today at 1pm. He runs down the card for today and plugs Wrestlemania whenever he can.

British Bulldogs vs. Barry O/Rene Goulet

The announcer messes up Barry’s name by calling him Bobby. Dynamite and Barry start us off and Dynamite uses the speed to escape whatever is thrown at him. Off to Davey and this must be near their debut. Jesse says he’s never seen the Bulldogs before so you know it’s early in their run. Back to Davey who hooks a crucifix for two. Off to Goulet and both guys get missile dropkicks from Dynamite. Goulet hits a clothesline to bring in Barry. Davey cleans house and the Bulldogs use their stepping stone headbutt spot to pin Barry. BIG pop for the Bulldogs.

Rating: C+. Just a squash, but man the Bulldogs were great when they started out. They were pulling off stuff that had never been seen in America so everyone reacted to them very strongly. Dynamite was so far ahead of his time it’s unreal. Can you imagine him against Jericho or Mysterio in 1996? It would have been incredible.

UPDATE! With Lord Alfred Hayes. It’s about JYD who likes to dance with kids. Ok then.

Big John Studd vs. Jim Young

Studd has $15,000 cash and Andre the Giant’s hair. Young fails at a slam and the pain begins. Andre comes out and beats Studd up for the quick DQ.

Gene sums up the big matches for Mania.

Cyndi Lauper says her girl Wendi Richter will win the title back on Sunday.

Gene is on the phone with Liberace who wants to know where Orndorff gets his robes. He has to drop the call though to talk to the camera.

Mad Maxine vs. Susan Starr

Maxine is a freak with a green mowhawk and allegedly 6’4 but that looks like a stretch. Starr runs away a lot but they spend most of the time circling each other. Starr even gets a leg lock on her. Maxine shrugs it all off and hits a suplex for the pin. This was really bad.

Gene reminds us that you have to see Mania on closed circuit.

Off to Piper’s Pit with Orndorff and Orton. They make fun of the Mania poster. Mr. T. is called a souped up spider monkey and has a banana smeared over his face. Hogan gets an egg. Orton’s arm is still hurt. It’s a very slow healing injury you see.

Mr. T. and Hogan are in New York to train. They’re on a building somewhere but Mr. T. wants to go to Central Park and beat up muggers. And that’s just what they do. Well they go to Central Park and T gives him training in “street fighting”, which means running in place. They go to the gym to train to Eye of the Tiger and hit each other in the head while sitting on the floor with their legs interlocked. Then they get on a train while people cheer. Now they’re in MSG with a piece of wood on the floor. They fire each other up, and that’s it. This was out there man.

Gene talks about Mania some more.

Greg Valentine vs. Pete Pompeii

Bruno is alone on commentary and this is joined in progress. Oh thank goodness Vince jumps in. Valentine is IC Champion here but it’s non-title of course. This is a squash and Valentine pounds him down before hooking a chinlock. He hooks a quick half crab, drops a middle rope elbow, and finishes with the Figure Four.

Rating: D. Just a squash but a long one. That being said, we needed something longer than usual to fill in the time. Vince can’t pronounce the jobber’s name, calling him Pompell which is funny to me for some reason. Other than that, not much to see here but it’s a squash so what are you looking for?

Gene runs down the card again and brings in the US Express. Albano is here too and is clean shaven. He says they’ll win and keep the titles. The champs say the same.

Gene talks about Wrestlemania a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. You can’t complain much about the show because the majority of this was to talk about Wrestlemania. It’s a big commercial and to their credit, they hyped the show up pretty well. It’s still boring but they were trying at least which is really all you can ask for. Plus if its the day of the show and you have to go somewhere to see it, you’ll already know if you’re going or not by this point.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 26, 2004
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So last night I spent four hours downloading a copy of this show. Then I found it all on Youtube. Anyway this is another request and it’s because the main event is an Iron Man match for the title between HHH and Benoit. The only other match on the card is a battle royal for the shot at Benoit at Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

We see the Diva Search girls in the back. Of the ten, five would wind up with jobs unless I’m forgetting some of them. Some blonde named Julia is gone. Michelle, Christy, Amy Webber, Joy Giovanni and Carmella are still in there. Oh and Maria so it’s 6/10. Tonight, the 9 remaining ones have to verbally seduce a former WWE star.

Clip of Benoit winning the Rumble then winning the title at Mania. HHH says the games are ending and tonight it’s the two of them for the title.

Theme song opens us up.

We go to the ring and it’s almost full. A few more come out though. Edge is one of the few to get entrances. He’s the IC Champion here. Matt gets one as well. The announcers don’t know what this is. Jericho comes out to a big pop. Kane comes out as well as JR and King are at a loss for words. Evolution (minus HHH) are in this also. Eric comes out and says it’s a twenty man battle royal and the winner gets the title shot at Summerslam.

Battle Royal

Regal is put out first. Jericho and Flair chop it out before Jericho and Edge team up to put Tomko out. Edge spears Palumbo down and the Canadians throw him out. RKO to Jericho but Edge saves him from Evolution. Flair hits Edge low and we take a break. Back with JR being way too excited. Kane eliminated Val Venis and Matt Hardy during the break. Matt came back in and beat on Kane but didn’t eliminate him.

Hurricane is out as are Rodney Mack, Rosey and a guy I didn’t recognize. I think it was Steven Richards. Tajiri puts Rob Conway out and Grenier is out as well. We have about eight left. Tajiri tries the Tarantula on Kane and is tossed out. We have the three members of Evolution, Kane, Jericho, Edge, Rhyno and Maven for our final eight. Flair goes up top for no logically explained reason. Edge slams him back into the ring for no logically explained reason.

Jericho hooks Flair in the Walls but Batista makes the save. Edge spears Kane down but he sits up. We take a break and come back with all eight still in it. Edge almost got eliminated during the break but low blowed his way out of it. Flair tries to chop Kane which goes as well as you would expect. Kane very carefully chokeslams him and it’s time for the battle of the bulls.

Batista and Kane slug it out (I remember watching this live) and Big Dave spinebusters him down but walks into a Gore to a BIG pop. Why is Maven still in there? Why is he getting to throw Flair into the corner for the (failed) Flair Flip? WHY IS HE CLOTHESLINING FLAIR OUT??? Rhyno Gores Maven and Batista throws Rhyno out. The Canadians go after Kane and everyone gangs up on him to get him out.

So we have Orton, Batista, Maven, Jericho and Edge left. Maven sends Orton to the apron but he hangs on. Orton manages to suplex Maven onto the top rope and then dump him to get us to the final four and a PPV level tag match. Jericho and Edge manage to get rid of Batista and Jericho turns on Edge to get us down to two. Slugout is won by Orton and he hits something like a spinebuster to take over.

In a smart move he tries a slingshot but Jericho hooks the rope. He pulls himself back in and grabs Orton into a fireman’s carry but Orton escapes as well. Jericho gets thrown again but he skins the cat. Orton clotheslines him to the apron again but he holds on with one arm. They do the Big Show/Benoit sequence but Orton lands on the apron. They’re both on the apron now and they slug it out. Both guys get knocked down but they hang on. Orton slides back in and hits an RKO (kind of) onto the middle rope then kicks Jericho out to go to Summerslam.

Rating: B-. I was enjoying this a lot more than most regular battle royals. These matches are always hard to rate because other than the Rumble, if you’ve seen one battle royal, you’ve seen almost all of them. This had star power and drama in it though which made this better than most. Good match and it gave us a mostly surprising winner.

Time for the Divas nonsense. What this has to do with getting a contract to be a female wrestler is beyond me but whatever. All nine of them have 20 seconds to verbally seduce a former WWE Superstar. Michelle starts first and it’s Kamala. She does the whole sexy teacher thing and yeah I’m not going to comment on most of this. Christy looks good in blue though. This goes nowhere and isn’t funny or anything like that. I get how it could be funny once or so but this happens NINE TIMES. This eats up like 8 minutes.

Smackdown recap.

Smackdown Your Vote at the Democratic National Convention. You’ll NEVER see this today. To be fair they went to the GOP National Convention as well and this was non-partisan.

Here are the Diva Search chicks in bikinis and numbers to call to vote for them. This went on OVER TWO MONTHS.

HHH comes in to see Evolution and Orton says it’ll be an honor to face him at Summerslam. He wishes HHH good luck but HHH says he doesn’t need it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is challenging and it’s an Iron Man match. They do the referee instructions and they say if there’s a tie, it’s sudden death. Slugout to start but it turns into more of a feeling out process. Benoit takes it to the mat with a headlock and into a top wristlock with Benoit bridging out of it very nicely. Crossface is attempted but HHH rolls out. Back in the Pedigree is easily escaped and it’s a standoff.

HHH tries to take it to the mat but Benoit gets the advantage. Five minutes in and HHH rolls to the floor to escape the Crossface attempt again. After a quick trip to the floor, Benoit goes after the knee. Benoit slams him at eight minutes in and stays on the knee. Chris runs into a boot in the corner and a DDT takes him down. Benoit comes back with chops but walks into the Facebuster. Pedigree is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt but that’s countered too. He hooks a Crossface out of nowhere though but HHH rolls out, but Benoit rolls him up for the first fall with about 49:30 to go.

We take a break and come back with 46:15 to go and HHH in a chinlock. Snap suplex gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch as this has been almost all Benoit. HHH manages to send him over the top and Benoit hits his back on the apron. The Game rams him into the apron and starts working it over. Benoit tries a charge but gets kicked in the face, busting his mouth open.

Benoit tries to whip him in but falls down. That’s either good selling of the back or a rare botch. They try it again and HHH gets whipped over the top to the floor. Benoit tries a suicide dive but hits mostly the barricade. Both guys are down as we hear about the Pegasus Kid. We’re about twenty minutes in now. We take a break with both guys down.

Back with HHH still down and thirty seven minutes to go. During the break HHH went into the steps and might have a bad shoulder now. Benoit tries a Sharpshooter (in a rare misstep of psychology) but HHH escapes. Off to a freaky modified Indian Deathlock with thirty six minutes to go. Chris stays on the leg with a Figure Four and a decent one at that. HHH makes the rope so Benoit pounds away in the corner.

HHH hot shots him out for two with thirty three minutes left. Benoit is like CANADA POWER and hits rolling Germans to take HHH down. Here’s the Swan Dive but HHH rolls away. HHH sends him into the buckle chest first, which is apparently an injury from a few weeks ago. Pedigree ties us up at about halfway through.

Benoit rolls to the floor but HHH knocks him down again and front suplexes him onto the steps for a countout to make it 2-1. We take another break and come back with 25:30 to go and HHH whipping Benoit into the corner for two. Release suplex lands on the chest again and gets two. Another whip into the corner gets two. 23:20 to go. HHH starts working on the back for some reason but Benoit hammers him in the face with a forearm to put both guys down. A spinebuster out of nowhere makes it 3-1 HHH with just under 22:00 to go.

There’s another break and we come back with Benoit hiptossing him at 18:30 to go. HHH loads up a Pedigree but Benoit dead weights him and goes for a Sharpshooter but HHH counters again. Pedigree attempt #2 is countered into the Sharpshooter which this time is hooked. HHH is in big trouble as Benoit keeps pulling him back from the ropes. He FINALLY (not meant as a bad thing) taps out to make it 3-2 with 15:30 to go.

15:00 to go and HHH falls to the floor. Benoit follows him out and pounds away but HHH runs back into the ring. Back in Benoit charges into a foot but HHH jumps into the Crossface. He eventually gets his foot to the rope but Benoit immediately hooks it again and HHH taps out to tie things up with 12:00 to go.

Here come Batista and Flair and we take a break. Back with about 8:30 to go and Benoit getting sent to the outside. Eight minutes left and HHH blocks a sunset flip to send Benoit back outside. Batista sends Benoit into the post and the champ is busted open. That gets two with 6:30 to go. HHH pounds him down in the corner with 6:00 to go. Benoit ducks a punch and comes back with rolling Germans. The referee gets clotheslined and Benoit grabs the Crossface.

Batista distracts Benoit and Flair throws in a chair with 5:00 to go. Flair gets knocked off and HHH caves in the back of Benoit’s head with the chair. He covers but there’s no referee. Bischoff sends out another referee who counts two. Four minutes left and HHH clocks the other referee. Evolution beats on Benoit but someone comes through the crowd.

Of all people, it’s EUGENE, who is still one of the most popular acts in years at this point. He cleans house, beating up Evolution all by himself. Stunner to Flair and a Rock Bottom to HHH. Bischoff gets a right hand as well and HHH gets killed with the chair. Eugene had been beaten down by Evolution two weeks before if you’re wondering why he’s here. Benoit comes back in with 1:20 to go. Eugene throws the referee back in for the pin on HHH with six seconds left and Benoit retains with a final score of 4-3.

Rating: B-. The match is certainly good, but I see no reason at all here for this to be an Iron Man match. This easily could have been cut down to about thirty or even forty minutes and nothing would have been lost. The ending is ridiculous with there being nothing resembling a regular match for the last five minutes. Good match and it set up Summerslam, but absolutely no reason for it to be an Iron Man match.

Overall Rating: B. Good show with an interesting twist by having basically two angles the entire show plus the Divas nonsense. At the end of the day though, you can only complain so much about good looking women in swimsuits though. Fun show but it’s not something that would work every time.

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Clash of the Champions 29
Date: November 16, 1994
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re in 1994 here and almost a year before Nitro. Hogan is of course world champion and has recently retired Flair. We’re also in the days of the 3 Faces of Fear which would evolve into the Dungeon of Doom soon which was rather successful if you think about it from an odd angle. Either way this wasn’t a great year for the company so let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about Hogan vs. the Faces of Fear. He recently unmasked Brutus Beefcake, revealing him to be the Butcher in name change #85 or so. The main event is a six man tag with Mr. T. as guest referee for no apparent reason.

Heenan says that Hogan is done and is booed out of the building.

After running down the card we’re ready to go to….Gene who talks about the Hotline for a bit before Meng and Colonel Parker come out. Apparently he has a tag title shot lined up for Bunkhouse Buck and Arn Anderson which they lost.

Tag Titles: Stars N Stripes vs. Pretty Wonderful

Stars N Stripes are Bagwell and the Patriot, Pretty Wonderful are Paul Roma and Paul Orndorff (holy Yoda line Batman and holy combination of two awesome geek series) and this is mask (Patriot’s) vs. title (Pretty Wonderful’s). The camera is a bit low so you can’t see over all of the fans. These teams traded the titles over the last two months or so. After a lot of stalling it’s Bagwell vs. Orndorff to start.

Roma comes in quickly and ever the genius, wrestles like a face. By that I mean he’s climbing the ropes and flipping off of them, jumping over Bagwell, using cross bodies and dropkicks. How many heels do you know that wrestle like that regularly? Anyway the challengers clear the ring quickly. Heenan thinks Patriot is Al Gore.

Paul vs. Patriot at the moment. Blast it this is one of those teams that I have to specify with. Orndorff vs. Patriot at the moment. How in the world was Roma a Horseman but not Orndorff? Patriot takes him down with an armbar and Orndorff isn’t sure what to do. Off to Roma who shows off again with three backbreakers without putting Patriot down. Thesz Press gets two for the masked dude.

The champions try a double hot shot but the cameraman falls over so we don’t see what happens. I know it’s just an accident but when do you ever see that? Orndorff drops an elbow on Bagwell as they’re legal at the moment. The fans chant USA for four American wrestlers. Off to Roma who has a REALLY high dropkick. Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip by Bagwell gets two on Orndorff.

Roma and Patriot hit the floor as this match is needing to end rather soon. Thankfully it does but even a simple pin doesn’t go right for them. Orndorff suplexes Bagwell and lays there with him, but doesn’t let him go. Roma goes up for a splash off the top ala the Powerplex but Patriot makes the save. Orndorff just stayed in the position and gets pinned, but Tony screws up the count, making it seem like the titles change on a two count and generally confusing the TV audience. Either way, new champions.

Rating: D+. Orndorff got a push at this point for some reason which I’m SURE wasn’t because he was one of Hogan’s buddies but whatever. The tag title situation never really was interesting at all at this point but they were trying….I think. Harlem Heat would rise up soon to half save the division but they tried at least.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Honky Tonk Man

I know I know, just go with it. Badd is champion here. Honky, ever the Memphis man, stalls to start us off. He works on the arm of Badd as we talk about Honky’s hair. Now Badd works on his arm for a change of pace. This is a rematch from Halloween Havoc where someone thought them having a draw was a good idea for no apparent reason.

Badd catches a kick and Honky hops around so Badd messes up the hair. Why is this airing? For the life of me I don’t understand. Honky takes over with the falling fist for two so we hit the chinlock. That lasts only a few seconds and it’s time for the Shake Rattle and Roll. That goes nowhere as Badd gets him into the corner for multiple punches. Million dollar kneelift gets two. Down goes the referee and Honky pops Johnny with the guitar, only to get caught and we’re done.

Rating: F+. Honky Tonk Man is one of the worst investments in the history of this company. For the life of me I don’t get the point of having him around as he hadn’t meant anything in about 6 years at this point. Badd wasn’t any good yet but in a few months he would get awesome in a hurry. Terrible match here though.

The 3 Faces of Fear (Brutus Beefcake called Butcher, Earthquake called Shark and Kevin Sullivan who is rarely called) say that they’re Hogan’s worst nightmares. This is the least intimidating group I’ve seen in years. Avalanche has a brother named Tropical Storm Gordon. How do you even respond to that?

Harlem Heat vs. Nasty Boys

These two fought at about 5 PPVs in 1995, which says a lot more when there were only 9 or 10 PPVs that year. This is a street fight. The Nasties are faces here……I think. Ok maybe it’s not an official street fight but one in name only. Booker vs. Knobbs starts us off. The Nasties clear the ring and the fans get in the face of Stevie on the floor. Off to Stevie who gets shoved around by Sags. This is another boring match already.

Knobbs works on Booker’s knee as this is a ridiculously boring match. THANK GOODNESS we take a break as even Bobby wants to take one. Back with….a shot of the video screen. Heenan is gone apparently. Booker gets a big kick to Knobbs and Bobby is back. Stevie pounds away as Tony says this is everything they expected. They had really low expectations then.

Booker, by far the most talented guy in the match, comes in and misses an elbow off the middle rope and Sags comes in to hammer away a bit. Everything breaks down as there’s a phone involved somehow. Booker tries to call someone on it as Stevie is beaten within an inch of his life. Apparently it’s Sister Sherri who has been their boss all along and her distraction allows Booker to get the Harlem Hangover on Sags to end this.

Rating: F+. Other than Sherri looking surprisingly good in leather, this was a total mess. The Nasties were another team that existed because they were buddies with Hogan and that’s about it. Anyway, weak match here as expected although it at least had a major storyline development in it.

Ad for Starrcade on a Tuesday. Well Sunday was Christmas Day so their backs were to the wall on that one.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader

This is a pretty big match actually as Vader is #1 contender and Rhodes is about the level of Kofi Kingston at the moment. At the same time though Dustin has one of the worst theme songs of all time. Look up a song with the line “They call him the natural” in it and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Naturally we talk about Dusty Rhodes because we have to do that once a show to meet a quota I guess.

Vader shoves him around with ease to start as anyone would expect him to do. Dustin spears him down and hammers away to a BIG pop. Vader was hated at this point and was easily the best heel since Flair but Hogan beat him at two straight PPVs with ease. Dustin rips the mask off and gets a cross body for two. All of this is high impact and fast paced with the crowd getting louder with every move.

Clothesline takes Vader to the floor and the beating continues. Dustin drills Race (Vader’s manager) because he can. Back in the ring and Vader hammers away even more, drilling him down in the corner. Other than a few shots in the opening this has been ALL Dustin. Dustin gets a pretty freaking nice snap suplex on Vader who bails to the floor to try to get a breather.

And then it all comes crashing down as Vader just rams into Dustin to shift momentum again. Vader hammers him down and pounds away. A missed splash in the corner lets Dustin get a rollup for two and so ends Dustin’s offense at the moment. Dustin manages to avoid another splash and gets a powerslam out of nowhere for two. Another Thesz Press kind of move puts Vader down but the referee is bumped.

Bulldog is countered as Vader throws Dustin over the ropes. No DQ though since the referee was down. Vader Bomb gets two as Dustin gets his foot on the ropes. Another Vader Bomb gets the same result as Race curses more than a fleet of sailors. Dustin is more or less dead here. Vader slams him down and tries a shoulder off the middle rope but Dustin pops up with a powerslam out of nowhere.

They slug it out and Dustin HAMMERS away but he can’t put him down. Ok maybe he can with a top rope clothesline. Dustin puts Vader on the top rope and wants a superplex. Realizing that simply isn’t going to happen he DDTs Vader for two off the middle rope instead.

Bulldog hits but Race gets in for the distraction. A splash to the back sets up a wheelbarrow drop (picture a German suplex but grabbing the legs instead of around the waste and slamming Dustin down face first instead of suplexing him back. Look up a wheelbarrow suplex and instead of doing the suplex slamming him forward) Dustin is dead and it’s finally over.

Rating: B+. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? This was an awesome match to say the least which got me totally into the concept that Dustin could pull this off when this should have been a squash. Vader could sell far better than he’s given credit for and Dustin took advantage for every bit of it. I was ready to say “and that does it” at least five times and had to keep erasing it. Find this match and check it out as it’s very good and a total surprise. Absolutely brutal fight with Dustin going move for move with Vader for about twelve minutes.

Vader sets to beat up Dustin even more until Duggan comes out for the save. Vader would take the US Title from Duggan at Starrcade

Hogan, Sting and Dave Sullivan (cue Pretender joke) say they’re not afraid of the 3 Faces of Fear. We get more references to the tropical storm, which is ok to make fun of I guess. It only killed 1150 people and caused over a billion dollars of damage in 2011 dollars. Nothing you can’t work into a bunch of references to it in a wrestling show right?

US Title: Jim Duggan vs. Steve Austin

Duggan beat Austin for the title in 35 seconds at Fall Brawl because the writing was clearly on the wall that DUGGAN was the future of the business, not this guy named Austin that had recently started fighting authority and legends and was swearing a bit while wearing black. Yeah some people are still stunned (get it?) to this day that this company ever made a dime. Duggan goes after Austin who stalls a lot. And never mind as here’s Vader to return the favor from earlier and end this with Duggan winning by DQ in less than a minute. Duggan saves himself with the board.

3 Faces of Fear vs. Hulk Hogan/Sting/Dave Sullivan

Mr. T is referee here for no apparent reason at all. He’s in something like a nightcap as my head hurts again. The Faces of Fear come out to what would become Eddie Guerrero’s music which is way too perky for them. All three non-Faces of Fear are in yellow and red because they want to eat this week or something. We even get a reference to Hogan retiring Flair in the intro by Buffer. That’s rather amusing.

Hogan jumps Taskmaster (Sullivan) to start us off. Off to Sting who actually hits that big jumping elbow of his. Everything breaks down as shocking no one, Sullivan can’t do anything. Actually there is one thing he can do: get injured, which he does here. His arm gets messed up and he has to leave, making it a handicap match. Hogan vs. Avalanche at the moment and Hogan can’t slam him for now.

Off to Hogan vs. Beefcake which wound up being the main event of Starrcade for no reason involving intelligence. Avalanche comes back in again and Hogan still can’t slam him. Sullivan comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere as Hogan fights off the Boston Midget. Earthquake throws on the bearhug as Sting hasn’t been in for a very long time now.

We get the usual Hogan vs. Quake match that we got a few thousand times around 1990. Powerslam sets up the missing elbow and there’s your hot tag to Sting. Sting has to fight three guys off and ultimately gets caught in a splash in the corner as it’s apparent Hogan is going to get the big save at the end. Avalanche drops a big leg on Sting to be funny.

Off to Sullivan vs. Sting now and that sounds so lopsided it’s unreal. Hot tag to Hogan so he can fight Butcher. The Megaphone gets involved in there somehow and Hogan pins the wrong guy (Sullivan) to finally end this. Mr. T goes down and it’s a big fight. T would fight Sullivan at Starrcade. This also set up Sting vs. Avalanche and Randy Savage got involved somehow also.

Rating: D+. Just a main event tag match here but the problem is that at the end of the day, the top heel is Brutus Beefcake on a team of three. How excited am I supposed to get about this match? No one wanted to see it other than Beefcake and Hogan, which would become a running theme with various people being substituted in for Beefcake for like a year.

The 3 Faces of Fear beat down Hogan with a sleeper going on him for like 2 minutes. The announcers play it up like Beefcake shot him in the head with a shotgun or something because NO ONE has ever been in a sleeper for over a minute right? Various faces come out to try and help but it takes security and cops to break it up. Hogan is “in serious condition” to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The only thing keeping this from being a failure is the shockingly awesome Rhodes vs. Vader match. Other than that, it’s WCW in 1994 and that simply wasn’t very good. At the end of the day, Hulk Hogan vs. a heel Brutus Beefcake does not work. They wanted this to be something epic but it just wasn’t there. Hogan booked this company into a lot of trouble around this time and 1995 made things even worse. Thankfully I’m mostly done with that era though, as I don’t think I could take much more of it.

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CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 3, 1981
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Lance Russell

Much like with Power Hour, if I don’t like this one then I’m dropping the whole series. If nothing else it’ll make my list a lot smaller. Anyway we’re in 1981 now and not a lot has probably changed. To give you an idea of how much I enjoyed last week’s show, I don’t remember anything about it for the most part other than a few flashes, and I only reviewed it a few days ago. Let’s get to it.

There’s going to be a retrospective on Jerry Lawler later today.

Tom Maley vs. David Oswald

They go to the mat and it’s a technical exhibition to start. Maley is a rookie here and Oswald is the bigger guy. Back to more mat stuff. Oswald is the heel here it seems. This is a very different style and looks more like an amateur or MMA style here. There hasn’t been a single strike in almost four minutes. Maley keeps taking him down but stands up so Oswald can get in some forearm shots. Maley comes back with forearms of his own but they collide and both guys are down. Oswald hits a knee lift and drops an elbow for the pin.

Rating: C. This was different than almost anything you’ll ever see. It certainly wasn’t bad or boring but it’s really not something that you’re going to want to see. The crowd didn’t seem all that interested but Memphis crowds are always an odd bunch. It wasn’t bad though and was nice to see for something different.

We get a clip from Lawler vs. Dundee, hair vs. hair. Lawler keeps beating on Dundee in the corner until the match is stopped because Dundee can’t continue. Dundee begs them to let it keep going and actually gets his way. Lawler pounds on him again and the beating gets even worse. Dundee hits something like a headbutt…and we cut to another match between them. Make that a highlight reel of them. I want to know who won the hair match.

We get some magic words though: Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl. Video of it later.

House show ads. Lawler has a match with Dream Machine and if he wins, he gets five minutes with Hart. Lawler has been out for eleven months with a broken leg. Nothing will stop him from getting his hands on Hart though.

Here’s a clip from Lawler vs. Dream Machine. Machine says something before the match but I couldn’t understand a word of it. There are stipulations to this but Machine stops the announcement to yell some more. Ok so it’s a handicap match with Bobby Eaton/Jimmy Hart vs. Tony Charles. So Lawler and Machine aren’t in the match but are seconds? This is hard to follow.

If Tony loses he gets his hair cut. If he wins, Eaton and Hart are gone. Lawler and Dream Machine get into it on the floor and there’s no match. Little trivia note for you here: Eaton has brown hair here. Scratch that: the match happens but we don’t get to see it. This is getting annoying.

Angel/Tony Russo vs. Carl Fergie/Tommy Russo

This is 2/3 falls again. Russo and Tommy start things off. Very slow to start as it’s off to Fergie. I think he and Gilbert are the faces here. They work over Russo’s arm and it’s back to Gilbert. Russo brings in Angel for all of 8 seconds and it’s back to Russo. We’re three minutes into this and nothing of note has happened. Cross body gets two for Gilbert. Fergie hits an elbow to the face and drops another one for the first fall on Russo.

Apparently we’re going to get the rest of the match later. For now though, OFF TO TUPELO!!! Ok so this one needs some backstory. We have Bill Dundee and Lawler teaming up against Larry Latham (Moondog Spot) and Wayne Ferris (Honky Tonk Man), collectively known as the Blonde Bombers. The Bombers cheated like CRAZY to win the tag titles. The show looked like it was ending but as they faded to black you heard Russell saying stay with this because there’s a big brawl going on. The brawl went down to the concession stand, and this is what followed.

The Blondes are all busted open and they beat on each other with EVERYTHING. Mustard goes flying and they’re filming from the stairs. This is totally serious stuff in case that wasn’t clear. Everyone is bleeding. Lawler destroys Ferris while Dundee is stomped on. Jerry Jarrett comes in and finally gets Dundee away for a second. Also this isn’t one of those fake WCW concession stands. This is the real concession stand where the fans are buying food. The Blondes run so Lawler and Dundee chase them but the Blondes come back and destroy Jarrett, stripping his clothes off. They’re FINALLY pulled off to end this.

I won’t go into details on the whole history of this (if you’re interested in why this was booked and why Jerry Jarrett is one of the smartest men ever in wrestling, look up Jim Cornette’s commentary called “The Slippery Slope of Hardcore Wrestling.” It’s incredibly interesting and well worth the read, as is almost anything Cornette writes) but the main idea is that this is pretty much the birth of modern hardcore wrestling.

The key difference though: it was believable. This wasn’t something that you saw every day (first time ever for the most part) and EVERYONE talked about it. It saved the territory and worked because it was treated as a huge deal. This is something you’ll still hear about from time to time and you’ll occasionally see tributes to it even today. This is incredibly historic stuff and possibly the most famous moment in southern wrestling.

We get a clip of the rematch (one of many) with the crowd being noticeably larger. That’s the idea and it worked like a miracle.

House show plugs.

Oh yeah we have to go back and finish that tag match. Fergie and Russo start us off but it’s off to the monster named Angel very quickly. Fergie fights off an abdominal claw and it’s Gilbert’s turn to get beaten down. Back to Russo as the beating continues. Russo (who looks like Mario from the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, and yes I know who played him) chokes away but it’s back to Angel. There’s the hot tag to Fergie who misses an elbow and gets pinned by Angel to tie it up.

Before the third fall, here are MORE Lawler highlights, this time of him getting beaten up by Harley Race and beating up Nick Bockwinkel. We see him losing to Jack Brisco after a one hour fight. Also some of the matches with Jackie Fargo (the guy that made Lawler), possibly the one where he won the name King.

The third fall is finally joined in progress with Angel pounding on Gilbert. Everything breaks down for a bit as Gilbert hooks Angel in an abdominal stretch….and the time limit runs out.

Rating: D. This was about as different of a match as you’ll ever find. I really don’t get the point in having it all cut up like this. It took almost 40 minutes to get through a ten minute match because of all the Lawler stuff. The problem otherwise was that this was a really boring match with nothing interesting to it at all, which is the problem with most of the matches on these shows.

Dream Machine isn’t worried about Lawler.

Russell wraps things up.

Overall Rating: C+. Given that Lawler is coming back, I think I have to keep watching this. The Tupelo Brawl scene is more than enough to bring me back, even though it’s part of a clip show. Still though, fun show and the Brawl footage is great. The wrestling here was certainly different, but it wasn’t all that great. Lawler coming back will completely change the show though so I’ll keep watching this for now.

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Simple question.For me it’s Hogan.  That long shot of him coming to the ring for the biggest match of all time is the stuff that makes legends.

WCW Power Hour
Date: January 12, 1990
Location: Georgia Mountains Center, Gainesville, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

This is a final run for this show. I really didn’t like the first one so if I don’t like this one either, I’m dropping Power Hour all together. The main event here is Anderson vs. Muta for the TV Title so you can’t say I’m possibly stopping on a show with a bad main event. Other than that I’m not sure what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

Cornette says we have a triple main event tonight. Good to know. Why do I have a feeling there are only three matches on the card?

Opening sequence.

Cornette doesn’t like this place either because it’s too low class for him.

Brody Chase vs. Steve Williams

This isn’t going to go well for the mullet man known as Chase. JR goes into the history of Williams in the Bowl Games as Williams runs over Chase like he stole something. Chase is knocked to the apron so Doc dropkicks him off that too. Top rope cross body nearly kills Chase as Corny makes fun of Williams’ face. JR stays on his knees to suck Williams off a bit more for being a football player. Powerslam kills Chase all over again and an enziguri gets two. STAY DOWN YOU IDIOT!!! Williams yells at the camera and hooks an armbar. Chase gets in a few shots so Williams kills him even deader and the powerslam ends this.

Rating: D-. WHY WAS THIS SEVEN MINUTES LONG??? We got the idea after about 20 seconds but JR needed to brag about how awesome Williams was again I guess. Really boring match because it went on way too long when we already had the idea after about 5% of it. Not liking this one at all.

Wrestling News Network says that the Rock N Roll Express is coming back, the first PPV and Clash of the year will be announced next week, Kerry Von Erich has left WCCW, and Gordon brags about Dr. Death a little bit too. Apparently Williams isn’t all there because he’s had everything handed to him so he needs to focus.

NWA World Title: Eddie Gilbert vs. Ric Flair

This is from Worldwide so the match’s outcome literally isn’t in doubt. Flair is the face here and Gilbert runs away from him to start. Flair takes him to the mat with ease and Gilbert runs. Off to a headlock by the champ as Woman and Nitron (Tyler Mane) come out to watch. Gilbert takes him down and hooks a Figure Four of his own on Flair after not working on the knee at all.

Flair of course makes the ropes because you don’t make Flair tap to the Figure Four. Unless you’re Jay Lethal apparently but I don’t think even TNA gets that idea. Now Gilbert works on the legs like a regular person would before the hold. Eh he’s from Tennessee and everything is different down there. Gilbert hits his Hot Shot but Flair gets his foot on the rope. Flair rams him into the buckle and pounds away, but he gets clotheslined down for two. Gilbert hooks a small package but Flair reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world but Gilbert wasn’t exactly the best choice for a world title contender. Flair never was in any real danger here and once he got out of the Hot Shot, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t going anywhere. Not horrible though and for a TV main event, this was ok.

Funk’s Grill has Kevin Sullivan, who beat up Norman and beat him with the painting he spent months on. Sullivan thinks that Terry sees some of his brother in Norman. Terry doesn’t quite see the resemblance but says that Norman has a lot of compassion. Sullivan hates the thought of Funk having compassion because that’s not the Terry Funk he grew up on. Sullivan says that Norman is on the same intellectual level as Dory Jr. They get in an argument and Funk ends the segment.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Great Muta

This is the main event and Muta is champion. Anderson takes him to the mat to start but it’s nothing major. Muta hooks on a wristlock and sends him to the floor. Dragonmaster and Buzz Sawyer, Muta’s stablemates, come out and Anderson is in trouble. Muta misses a kick so there’s a suplex to take him down. Arn takes him down with a headlock and works over the arm like a good Anderson.

Muta comes back and hits the power drive elbow as we go out to the floor. The fans are totally behind the Horseman here. Back in and a top rope chop kills Anderson. Muta busts out Cattle Mutilation years before Bryan did but Anderson escapes it and pounds away. Anderson comes back with an atomic drop and the hammerlock slam. He grabs an abdominal stretch but Muta backdrops him over the top to the floor. Apparently he fell though so it’s not a DQ. Why did they wait until 2000 to drop that rule?

Spinebuster hits out of nowhere but with Dragonmaster running interference, Sawyer comes off the top to clock Arn but it only gets two. Muta superkicks Anderson down and calls for the moonsault. Anderson gets the knees up though and DDTs Muta into oblivion to win the title and blow the roof off the place.

Rating: B. The match was really good and the reaction from the crowd was great, but it’s not enough to save the show for me. Anderson would hold the title for about eleven months before he lost it to I believe Z-Man of all people. Muta would head back to Japan after this, returning in 1992 as a MUCH bigger deal.

Anderson yells at Sawyer and they’ll face off next week.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event was awesome but I’m done with this show. I have too many of them already and this one does nothing for me. The problem is that while the main event was great, how many of these shows are going to have a main like that? My guess would be not many. Check out Muta vs. Anderson if you can find it though as it’s good stuff.

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Clash of the Champions #28
Date: August 28, 1994
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Attendance: 4,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We continue our march through the final Clashes with the final one I have to go chronologically. The main event here is what else: Hogan vs. Flair for the title. Hogan had come in back during the summer and everything they had going had been thrown out for the sake of pushing Hogan (and his friends soon after) to the freaking moon. Also for no apparent reason, Antonio Inoki is on the card here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Bash at the Beach where Hogan won the title in his first match. Heenan: “Tell me it’s a nightmare!”

The opening video is all Hogan vs. Flair and it’s one of those weird remixes where they say a word like five times in a row before continuing the sentence. Flair has a surprise tonight.

Austin and Steamboat are arguing in the back. Call the Hotline to see why! I’m not kidding: that’s what they say.

Here’s the National Anthem. The guy gets the words wrong. He’s a country singer because that’s all WCW knows about.

Nasty Boys vs. Pretty Wonderful

Pretty Wonderful are tag champions and Orndorff/Roma. This is non-title though. This is a grudge match as a result of a big brawl where Pretty Wonderful hit Knobbs with a crutch. Pretty Wonderful stalls and the fans like the Nasties a lot better. Tony says a lot of big stars aren’t here tonight for some reason. Gee that makes me want to watch more of this show. Brian and Paul start but it’s off to Sags quickly.

Roma tries a top rope cross body but is easily caught in a slam. They be clubberin Tony! Out to the floor and Orndorff chokes away a bit on Jerry to take over. Tony goes into a big thing about how WCW listens to the fans and Heenan says wrestling is cool again because WCW is number one. Yeah when I see Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma as tag team champions in 1994 and hear about the debuting Honky Tonk Man, I think it’s cool.

Sags is knocked to the floor and holds his eye for awhile. I guess this show is so cool it burns his retinas. Orndorff hooks a chinlock and this match sucks. Knobbs tries to come in without a tag and the champs double team. Orndorff calls for a piledriver but Sags is too fat. Off to Knobbs and everything breaks down. Roma hits a top rope splash on Knobbs and Sags hits a top rope elbow on Orndorff and the Nasties (with the illegal man getting the pin) win.

Rating: D-. Pretty Wonderful was just AWFUL so they kept the titles for about half of the year. The Nasties were just kind of there until we got to a better team really late in the year in the form of Harlem Heat thank goodness. The match was junk, but did you really expect anything else?

Hulk says to call Hulk’s Hotline.

Here’s Hogan but a guy pops up behind him with a pipe and hits him in the knee before anything is said. Hogan uses the Mr. Nanny acting skills to say his knee is really hurt. It takes awhile to get him out. Eric is there too and we hear that he’s Executive VP. I didn’t know they had revealed that this early.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

Austin is champion and he already beat Steamboat via some circumstances (Austin got DQ’d, Steamboat insisted they keep going, Austin pinned him) at Bash at the Beach so this is the second match. We go split screen to see Hogan leave in the ambulance. Ricky takes him to the mat quickly and Austin complains of a hair pull. That brings a smile to my face due to the future.

Austin has Dragon Slayer on his tights. If Austin gets disqualified, he loses the title. We stop commentary on the match while a stage manager gives Heenan a live report of what happened to Hogan. We’ll ignore the fact that everyone could see it and point out that WE CAN’T HEAR HIM! He’s whispering in Bobby’s ear (and I know because the camera went off the match to look at him doing so), making this totally pointless.

They chop it out and Steamboat takes over. He grabs the arm as Heenan rants about how he wouldn’t care if Hogan can ever wrestle again. We get a SWEET pinfall reversal sequence and Ricky grabs the arm once again. We finally see this loudmouthed fan that the announcers have been complaining about all night. It’s Barry “Smash” Darsow as the new character the Blacktop Bully. He was a truck driver and a bully. And people wonder why this company was always struggling.

Tony says Austin has held the title since December of 1983, or about 11 years at this point. It’s more like 9 months and December of 93 but you can’t expect him to be able to tell time or complicated things like that. After a quick chase on the floor, Steamboat hooks a sleeper but Austin kind of drops down and drives Steamboat’s chin into his shoulder. I’d jot that down if I was him.

We hear that Sting who was in Chicago, has chartered a plane and is on his way here and will wrestle in Hogan’s place if need be. Ricky stays on the arm and hits a top rope chop. Back to the Bully shouting as Austin apparently counters with something. We didn’t get to see it but why would we need to do that? They fight from their knees and Austin grabs a chinlock.

They chop it out again and Steamboat hits a double to take over. They chop it out for the third or fourth time and Austin hits a suplex. A second is blocked and Steamboat puts him on the ropes. The cameras glitch so we get a random shot of the entrance. Austin knocks him back to the mat but gets crotched. Ricky loads up a superplex but Austin hits a release forward suplex.

He comes off the top but gets caught and Steamboat makes his comeback. I’m not sure how much of a comeback it can be after such a short time on defense but whatever. Top rope crossbody gets canvas and here’s more Blacktop Bully. Steamboat Hulks Up and hammers away. A spinebuster gets two. Austin goes up but gets caught in an electric chair drop for another two.

This is getting really good. A few pinning combinations get two for Steamboat. Austin dumps him over but Steamboat holds the rope. If he had hit the floor it would have been a title change. Austin goes to slam him BUT YOU CAN’T SLAM RICKY STEAMBOAT!!! Ricky gets his small package and the US Title.

Rating: B. Very good match here which is even more impressive when you consider Steamboat destroyed his back in this match and had to retire before he defended the title. Austin was supposed to get a rematch at Fall Brawl but since Steamboat was hurt, Austin was awarded the title and Jim freaking Duggan of all people took the title from him in about 45 seconds. But Hogan never did anything bad for WCW and it was just a coincidence that a washed up guy like Duggan got the US Title over someone young and talented like Austin and that Duggan just happened to be a friend of Duggan right?

Eric doesn’t know anything at the hospital but Hogan said it felt like something tore. Heenan couldn’t be happier.

Here’s a music video for a guy arriving soon: the Honky Tonk Man. It would be guys like him and Duggan and Orndorff that were pushed instead of guys like Austin and Foley and Pillman and others like that. This song couldn’t be more of a ripoff of his old song if they tried. WWF song lyrics: “I pick a mean guitar, I wear the blue suede shoes, you ought to hear me sing the snakeskin blues.” WCW song lyrics: “I play a mean guitar, I play the rhythm and blues, you better not step on Honky’s blue suede shoes.” The music sounds almost EXACTLY the same too. Jimmy Hart wrote both too.

Nick Bockwinkle says Hogan will have to forfeit the title if he’s not here later.

We recap the Rhodes Family vs. the Stud Stable. The idea here is that Dustin has feuded with Colonel Parker’s stable forever and needs a partner. For some reason that no one has ever come up with a reason for other than Dustin is an idiot, he asked Arn Anderson. You know, the guy who is most famous for BREAKING DUSTIN’S DADDY’S LEG. As anybody with enough common sense to say that putting your face in a fire is a bad idea, Anderson turned on him and joined Parker after about 5 minutes.

So one night Dustin was talking about needing a partner and Dusty came out. They had a strained relationship because Dusty was never around because he was off being a famous wrestling cowboy. Dusty uses the same line of Dustin offering up his innocence and being paid back in scorn that he used when Sapphire turned on him. I don’t really know what it means but I don’t know what Dusty means most of the time. Dusty offered to be Dustin’s partner and Dustin hugged him to say yes. I’ll give Dusty this: the man could talk like few others ever could.

Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk

It’s a brawl to start of course and Funk brings in a chair. The younger guys, Dustin and Buck, start us off which is probably a good thing. Off to Funk who is quickly knocked to the floor. Off to Dusty who gets a big reaction. An elbow puts Buck down and Funk wants in. Back to Dustin and everything breaks down. Some heel miscommuncation puts the heels down but Dustin is knocked the to the floor. Here’s Anderson and Dusty is in trouble. That doesn’t last long as Dustin comes back in and hits clotheslines for everyone. Bulldog takes Buck down and Arn runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but this was more about setting up WarGames. Yes, THIS was what they used for WarGames. Not Flair and company vs. Hogan and company. Hogan didn’t even wrestle at the show. Dusty was there for nostalgia purposes and that’s about it. Nothing to see here and it was a really boring feud all around.

Post match Dusty cleans house but Parker’s bodyguard Meng comes in. Dusty thinks about hitting him then thinks about an elbow but then says wait a minute. He goes outside and gets a wooden chair which he breaks over Meng’s head. Meng doesn’t move and hooks a nerve hold as the Stud Stable leaves the Rhodes boys laying.

We go back to the hospital and Hogan’s lawyer has advised him to relinquish the title. He’ll get the first title shot in exchange. Hogan won’t listen of course so apparently he’ll try to wrestle. Hart and Brutus come up and say Hogan is going to do what he wants.

Flair does one of his usual ranting and screaming promos about how he wants the title handed to him by Hogan. Flair had been doing really well as the face champion but Hogan was here so they turned him into a psycho heel which made him look like an idiot, because Hogan can’t lose right?

Hogan is on his way back here. Oh joy. Heenan PANICS.

Steven Regal vs. Antonio Inoki

This is based on the idea that Inoki is having his Final Countdown retirement tour and got a plaque in WCW. Regal protested so here’s a match. I don’t think anyone really got the point of this. Inoki fires off kicks as Tony butchers the name of Rikidozan. They go to the corner and I don’t think anyone knows who Inoki is. This is a very technical/foreign style match which means it means nothing to most American fans.

Regal hits a headbutt and they go to the mat with Regal dominating. Inoki heads to the floor and Regal won’t let him back in. This is really not working at all. The fans are quiet so Tony plugs Fall Brawl a bit. Inoki grabs the arm and Hogan is back at the arena. They go to the mat for a leg lock and I really can’t tell who is in control. Bockwinkle comes out and Inoki uses a blatant choke to take over. Regal kicks away and the announcers are talking about Hogan. This has been about 90% strikes. Butterfly suplex gets two for Regal. Inoki throws on another choke and Regal is out as Heenan freaks again.

Rating: F. This isn’t wrestling. I don’t know why it happened or why Regal, the TV Champion, was choked out this fast. This didn’t work at all and no one knew who Inoki was. “But KB he’s a legend and you have to respect him.” Or I could watch people have entertaining matches and have a point to being here. Just a thought.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Flair says give me my title. Hogan takes awhile to get there and then charges right at Flair. Now before I get into this, remember that Hogan allegedly has a severe knee injury and is fighting RIC FLAIR. Hogan takes him down and shrugs off a chop. The shirt is shoved down Flair’s throat and Hogan bites the forehead. Heenan advises Flair to go for the knee so they go to the floor where Flair chops him.

Hogan is limping a bit but other than that looks fine. Back in the ring and Hogan keeps beating on him with what appears to be the robe. Flair pokes him in the eye, snapmares him down….and goes up. Like I said, Flair was made to look like an idiot at this point. Flair is knocked to the floor again as this is a total squash so far. Up the aisle now and Flair gets beaten down some more.

The champ misses a chair shot and Flair hits some knees to the back (instead of the knee) and suplexes Hogan. Hulk is up first and drops elbows to keep momentum going. Flair Flip in the corner and he gets clotheslined to the floor. A fan tries to hit Flair with a cane. This match runs about 15 minutes. Seventeen and a half minutes in, FLAIR HITS HIM IN THE KNEE!!!

An early Figure Four attempt is countered and Flair hits a chop block. To the floor for the fifth time in about 8 minutes and there go the bandages. There’s the Figure Four (wrong leg, even Tony points this out) and after about 55 seconds, Hogan grabs Flair’s leg and shoves it off of his own. He Hulks Up and hits the big boot and legdrop but his knee gives out. Another Figure Four goes on and Hogan Hulks Up again and makes the ropes. He rolls into the ropes and Sherri, Flair’s manager, hits him with a shoe. Hulk falls to the floor and loses via countout.

Rating: F. No. No. No. NO. Flair looked like an IDIOT here and for what? To show that Hogan can’t feel pain in his knee? This was ridiculous and was nothing more than a sign of things to come. Hogan wouldn’t lose the title for over a year and Flair would look stupider and stupider every time they fought. Just pathetic.

The Masked Man comes out and they double team the knee. Another Figure Four goes on but Sting runs out for the save. Flair leaves with the belt.

Hogan is taken back to the hospital to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. You could see the problems that would kill this company staring you right in the face here. I’ll go with this: the rumored main event for Starrcade was going to be Austin vs. Flair. Instead, we got Hogan vs. Brutus Beefcake. Foley was run off and Austin was fired for being too unpushable. Strange how that decision was arrived after Hogan got there no? 95 was just awful as it was basically the late 80s all over again and until they caught a miracle in Hall and Nash, this was a horrible long term idea. At the end of the day, WCW isn’t around anymore, so what does that tell you?

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WWF Championship Wrestling
Date: September 24, 1983
Location: Agricultural Hall, Allentown, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson

Another random show for me to do while I wait on a Raw to download. This is from before Hogan debuted again but he was coming quickly. Other than that there isn’t much to say here. My best guess would be a lot of squashes with maybe a slightly more competitive feature match. Let’s get to it.

I’m finding two dates on this. The video I have is labeled August 27, 1983 but every other date I can find says September 24, 1983. We’ll go with the second.

We open with a list of everyone on the athletic commission for tonight’s show.

Butcher Vachon vs. Jimmy Snuka

Butcher is a big name but he’s well past his prime at this point. Snuka slams him down and the Splash ends this in about 45 seconds.

Tito Santana vs. John Callahan

Santana dominates to start as Vince says there’s no challenge here. He takes John to the mat with a long headlock but Callahan rams him into the buckle a few times. Middle rope forearm ends this. I wouldn’t expect a lot of ratings on this show.

Tiger Chung Lee/Mr. Fuji vs. Tony Garea/Bob Clement

Garea and Lee start things off as Garea controls with a dropkick and armdrag. Sunset flip gets one. Fuji gets in a shot to the back of Garea so the evil foreigners can take over on the nicer foreigners. Back to Lee to face the tagged in Clement. Both are tall and in white so this isn’t easy to differentiate. Fuji and his red come in to chop Clement down and it’s back to Lee. Lee hits an enziguri for the pin. Basically a squash.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here as most of the match was spent talking about how the Japanese team would be trouble for the Wild Samoans, the reigning tag champions. I don’t know if they ever had a long feud or anything but the Soul Patrol (Atlas and Johnson) would win the titles in November.

Sgt. Slaughter says he’s ready for Mil Mascaras in Los Angeles. Mascaras tries to put his head in the jar to eat pickles and wears a mask because he stabs himself in the head when trying to use a fork.

Tito says he’s ready for Muraco, who attacked him when he was a guest referee. He says a lot in Spanish and I think he says he’s ready for him and he’ll win in Los Angeles.

Mike Sharpe says that Tony Atlas is skinny.

Muraco, the IC Champion (and about a month from having Snuka dive off a cage onto him) talks about how Tito wanted to become a Mexican hero right when Muraco had Snuka where he wanted him.

Masked Superstar vs. Eddie Gilbert

Masked Superstar is a new top heel and is Ax under a mask. Eddie gets in some offense to start but walks into a HHH knee to the face to take him down. Gilbert is a very small guy but he hammers away, only to walk into the kind of clothesline that Bret would use in the Hart Attack. A swinging neckbreaker puts Gilbert down and a second one gets the pin quick.

Post match he takes Gilbert to the floor and gives him another neckbreaker on the concrete. Dr. George Zahorian (now look HIM up if you want to see a name erased from WWF history) comes out to check on him.

Time for Buddy Rogers’ Corner, which is an interview segment. The guest is Sgt. Slaughter who isn’t worried about Eddie Gilbert at all. He’d love to see Bob Backlund in the same position.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Dick Tessier

Gilbert is still being attended to. Cobra Clutch and we’re done in about a minute.

Post match Slaughter looks at Gilbert as he’s being taken away. Apparently Gilbert credits Backlund with his comeback. Backlund is out here too. He’s taken out on a stretcher into an ambulance. This takes about ten minutes to get through. The fans boo because this takes so long.

Don Kernodle/Bob Bradley vs. Tony Atlas/Rocky Johnson

Apparently the Soul Patrol is a new team here. Johnson starts with Bradley and throws him around with ease. A sunset flip ends this quickly again.

Overall Rating: C-. The injury angle was at least big and it furthered Slaughter vs. Backlund but it took a lot of the steam out of the show. The matches were all squashes and that’s ok, but it does kind of slow things right to a halt. They had one match during the time when Gilbert was carried out, so why not have more? Eh it’s 1983 so TV wasn’t exactly down to a science yet. Not terrible but fairly dull.

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WCW Saturday Night
Date: January 15, 1994
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We’re back with the third of the five shows that I have from this series. This episode was only 90 minutes due to something else that Turner had to broadcast. Anyway, the main event here is Pillman vs. Austin but it’s non-title, which means anything could happen. This is probably going to be about the chicken suit feud. Let’s get to it.

2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Paul Orndorff/Paul Roma

This is a rematch from last week where Assassin interfered. The good guys charge the ring to clear it out very quickly. Bagwell and Roma start things off. Bagwell controls early and takes Orndorff down with a quick drop toehold. The good guys tag very quickly but Bagwell gets caught in a Stun Gun to shift momentum. They double team Bagwell with Orndorff coming on off the top with an elbow to the back.

Marcus is sent to the floor and Roma pounds away out there as well. Scorpio tries to come in to help the beating, which actually works pretty well because a double elbow would have probably gotten a pin on Bagwell. Roma throws on a bearhug for awhile but Marcus escapes for the hot tag to Scorpio. House is cleaned with a lot of kicks including a dropkick to send Roma into Orndorff. A cradle out of nowhere gets the pin on Roma.

Rating: C-. This match flew by and wasn’t that interesting. Then again, that’s true of almost every match the Paul’s had. They weren’t interesting so they won two world tag titles or so. Why? I have absolutely no idea. I also don’t get why Roma was a Horseman and Orndorff wasn’t. Can you picture Orndorff as a Horseman? Has there ever been a more natural fit?

Pillman says he’ll win tonight and at the Clash.

Ron Simmons vs. Scott Studd

The idea is that Simmons might have lost a step so his protege Ice Train wants to fight him. Simmons also seems to be a heel here. Spinebuster and we’re done.

Simmons says Ice Train isn’t ready for this match. Ice Train comes out and says he needs to be tested by the best. Simmons punches him and leaves.

Clash Control Center. The main event will be an elimination tag. Sting and Flair say they’re ready for Rude and Vader in said elimination tag.

Call the Hotline!

Dustin Rhodes vs. The Gambler

No idea who Gambler is. Gambler gets in a few shots and is bulldogged for the pin in less than a minute.

Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Bob Cook/The Sheik

Cactus and Maxx are getting very popular very fast and have a title match coming up soon. Cactus and Cook start things off. Someone has given Maxx roses and it might have been Missy Hyatt. Jesse: “Even Missy wouldn’t chase these two.” Cactus knocks Sheik to the floor but he can’t hit the elbow. Off to Maxx who drops an elbow. Sheik comes in and does about as well. Pain Killer (Fujiwara Armbar) wins this quick.

Cactus wants to know how many times Fred Flintstone has to buy the ribs before he figures out they flip his car over. That means they’ll win the titles, and it’s be a doo time, a dabba doo time, and they’ll have a gay old time. Payne says they’ll win. Since this is Turner, they go to the break to the Flintstones theme. That’s AWESOME.

TV Title: Erik Watts vs. Steven Regal

Watts is tall and the son of a former boss. He’s also not talented in the slightest. Watts takes him to the mat quickly and even tries his STF but Regal makes the ropes. The fans boo loudly as Watts takes him to the mat again. The fans didn’t like him but hey, his dad is in charge so it’s time to push him right? Regal kicks him through the ropes and hits some European uppercuts. Watts comes back and goes up for a double ax, getting two. He dives at Regal but lands on the ropes so Regal can roll him up to retain.

Rating: D. Regal was his usual self but Watts just wasn’t any good. I mean he just was not any good. Regal was carrying him through this, selling like crazy for everything and making sure that Watts had to do very little the whole time. At least it was short and he wouldn’t be around much longer.

Tex Slazenger vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd is still very….uh….well he likes strudel instead of pie, we’ll go with that. Badd wants to get to Tex’s partner Shanghai Pierce so he can unmask him to show how ugly he is. They’re more famous as the Godwinns and Slazenger is Mideon/Phineas. Badd hits a big right hand to knock Slazenger out to the floor with a bad headache. Back in there are some armdrags to set up an armdrag by Badd. Tex tries a powerbomb but Badd rolls through into a pinning combination for the very fast pin.

The Texans try to beat him down but Badd gets out of the way and they hit each other.

Austin says Pillman and Rhodes are at the bottom of his list. He’s got a partner if they want a tag match: Rick Rude. That’s tomorrow though.

Steve Austin vs. Brian Pillman

Austin is US Champion but this is non-title. After a break we get going and Austin may have hurt his knee on a leapfrog attempt. Never mind as he’s faking. Pillman works it over anyway so at least he’s trying. He loads up a Figure Four but shouts about it, allowing Austin to kick him to the floor. Austin throws him back in and then throws him right back out. That’s kind of counterproductive isn’t it?

A piledriver on the floor is countered and Pillman chases Parker. This is very fast paced so far. Austin catches Brian with a clothesline as Pillman keeps up the chase. Steve rams the arm into the post and hooks an armbar in the ring. The arm gets bent around the post and it’s another armbar. Pillman gets in a few shots but Austin stops him again. Austin loads up a hammerlock slam but Pillman goes Steamboat on him and cradles him for the pin.

Rating: B-. I was really getting into this one. Like I said the whole match was that they were flying by the whole time and in a good way. These two had chemistry together and why they cut the team short like they did is a crime. This could have run for many years but instead it ran about 9 months. Still though, great match.

Austin and Parker try to put the chicken suit on Pillman post match but Rhodes comes out to make the save.

Overall Rating: B-. Much better show here as they’re moving towards the Clash very quickly. This was a lot of squashes but they were fast enough that it never got boring. Couple that together with a good main event and how much more can you ask for? Good show here and if I remember right the Clash was good too.

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