Monday Night Raw – April 30, 2012: It’s The Internet’s Night

Extreme Rules was last night and it’s time for the road to Over the Limit to begin. Cena talked about taking some time off last night at the end of the show which is something he’s certainly earned. It’s been three and a half years since his last break and giving him some time to heal up and recharge his batteries is definitely a good idea. We’re coming off a great show last night so let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Lesnar vs. Cena and the post match promo from Cena saying he was taking a break.

Here’s the theme song and the new intro says it’s starring Brock Lesnar.

Here’s Ace to open things up. He brags about how great last night was and how awesome Lesnar was in his dominance last night. Cena was proven to be a mortal last night apparently and Lesnar got rid of him. Here’s Brock who says last night the world saw Brock bring the pain. Cue HHH who looks mad. He says that if Lesnar wants all these perks, a lot of them are on his own dime. Oh and the show has always and will always be Monday Night Raw (except for when it was Raw Is War).

The contract stuff he made Ace agree to last week weren’t run by HHH so they don’t count. Ace pulls out the contract and HHH rips it up. HHH says that Ace knew that he didn’t have that authority. The WWE wants Brock here as do the fans, and they want Lesnar vs. Cena II. They want to see him against Sheamus, Orton and Punk. If Brock is going to do that, it’s going to be under the terms of the contract Brock signed. From what I understand, Lesnar isn’t under contract right now. HHH says Lesnar can re-sign under the original terms or go home with his loss to Cena.

Ace keeps talking while HHH is trying to do business and HHH keeps telling him to shut up. Finally HHH turns to him and Lesnar jumps HHH. He beats him down and HHH can only get in a little offense at best. Lesnar throws on the armbar and HHH’s arm turns. Some guys run in for the save and HHH says his arm is broken. That’s probably Over The Limit. He walks up the ramp slowly to take us to a break.

HHH gets his arm looked at.

Eve, with some sexy glasses on, comes out and tells us that tonight it’s a five man Beat The Clock Challenge for the #1 contender spot at the PPV. That means the first person in the challenge sets the time to beat and the fastest of the five times gets the show.

Beat The Clock Challenge: The Miz vs. Santino Marella

I guess either guy can set the time. Sweet I don’t have to time these matches. Santino takes him down and tries some very fast covers. Brock has been escorted out of the building. They both keep trying quick pins including a rollup after Miz misses a charge. Santino walks into something like a Side Effect for two.

Corner clothesline hits for Miz and he goes up. Double ax hits for two. Chinlock goes on but it’s quickly broken. Hot shot puts Miz down and Santino hits his usual stuff. Here comes the Cobra but Santino walks into an O’Connor Roll for two. Miz totally misses a big boot in the corner but hits the Finale for the surprise pin at 4:17. This just had to be the US Champion too right?

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it was pretty quick which means some of the matches later on won’t be as long. I wonder if the rest of the matches will end if they pass the established time. Either way, not a bad match here and Santino can bounce back from a loss about as quickly as anyone on the roster.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Layla

The Bellas argue over who is fighting so Layla dropkicks one into the other and rolls up Nikki for the pin at 10 seconds.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Dang two matches in one segment. Oh of course not as we have a break before the match starts. Big Show charges right at him and the clock is counting down from 4:17. Show runs him over a few times but gets his knee kicked out. You know what would be nice? A reference to these two being former tag champions. It’s not going to make the match or anything but a little history is nice at times. Jericho goes up but jumps into a chop. Vader Bomb misses and Jericho hits a Lionsault for two.

Show busts out a small package of all things and gets two. Chokeslam is countered into a low DDT for two. Spear gets two for Show and the clock is at 1:05 remaining. WMD misses and the Codebreaker is countered as well. Jericho pulls Show to the floor which doesn’t mean anything. We’ve got 30 seconds to go and Jericho gets pulled to the floor. Show misses a charge and goes into the timekeeper’s area. Jericho gets back in but the clock runs out just before the ten count, but they say Jericho won with a second left. Bull freaking crap and the fans know it. Anyway the time was 4:17 obviously.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what you would expect from Big Show vs. Chris Jericho. It wasn’t bad but MAN did they screw up the ending? How hard is it to have someone in a headset saying COUNT FASTER??? Apparently too complicated for WWE as this looked so stupid. The buzzer went off and then he said ten. It wasn’t close but I’m sure we’ll be told that we were all wrong or whatever.

Post break they change it up again and say that Miz’s time was actually 4:18 so neither guy made it. OH COME ON. Just freaking say that the countout didn’t work and the referee was wrong. How hard is that??? Seriously???

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

Back to the old school Brodus I guess. JTG apparently has a surprise for Brodus. The surprise is a kick to the ribs but Brodus headbutts him down. Slam and elbow put JTG down and the headbutt to the chest does as well. Avalanche and t-bone suplex set up the splash for the pin at 1:39.

Brodus brings in some kids for a dance, JYD style.

We get the opening video again as well as the Lesnar attack for the third time tonight.

Eve gives Ace a pep talk in the back and Ace says that Cena isn’t going to like his next opponent.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember the time is now officially 4:18. Orton keeps trying rollups but gets kicked down and the Vader Bomb gets two. Orton hits his backbreaker for two as we’re under 3:00 to go. Swagger hits a shoulder for two and then works on the arm. Lawler points out the stupidity of this and we have 90 seconds to go. Orton comes back with his powerslam and the elevated DDT with 40 seconds left. RKO is countered into the ankle lock but Orton rolls out and the RKO gets the pin at 4:16, giving him the new time to beat.

Rating: C-. The problem with these fast matches is that there’s no time to get anything going. I remember these two having a title match at whatever PPV it was and that was nothing to see either. Not a terrible match but again with only about four minutes to work with, there’s only so much they can do.

Cena’s match is later tonight apparently.

We get a clip of Santino and Ryder pinning the tag champions last week. This naturally leads to the following.

Tag Titles: Primo/Epico vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Before the match we’re told that the Bellas have been fired. Epico kicks Little Jimmy so Truth goes off on him. Truth cleans out the ring as we take a break. Back and it’s official that HHH’s arm is broken. The champs are in control and it’s time to ignore the match. Truth takes them both down and makes the hot tag to Kofi. Everything breaks down and after some Rosa interference, Trouble in Paradise pins Epico and we have new champions.

Rating: D. The match probably wasn’t that bad but this was the definition of paint by numbers. How many times have you seen the exact same match that I just described? On top of that, Kofi is still spinning his wheels with a title that means nothing at all. What in the world is the point of this?

The former champions talk to Washington in the back.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Great Khali vs. Kane

It’s your standard battle of the big men: Khali hits Kane, Kane hits Khali, Kane puts him down and hits the top rope clothesline for two. The time was set at 4:16 and we have less than two minutes left. Low dropkick gets two. Under a minute to go as Khali comes back with some big man offense. The chop hits Kane and he rolls to the floor. They brawl to the floor and back inside they both try a chokeslam the clock runs out for a no contest at 4:16.

Rating: D. This was your standard battle of the big men, which is to say that it wasn’t that good. With about a minute to go it was clear that neither guy was going to win, which is the right idea. Would you want either of these guys headlining a PPV? Anyway nothing to see here and there’s one more match to go in the challenge.

Apparently Cena will be here to find out who his opponent at Over the Limit is.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Jerry Lawler vs. Daniel Bryan

4:16 is the time to beat. Bryan goes right at Lawler and beats him down in the corner. Running dropkick gets two. Lawler gets a boot up and drops the middle rope fist for two but the piledriver is countered. A kick to the head sets up the YES Lock and Jerry taps at 2:29 to get the title shot. Let the internet explode.

Punk comes out and applauds Bryan.

We see Lesnar attacking HHH for a fourth time.

Here’s Cena with his arm in a sling for the showdown with Ace. Cena says he’s here and there’s no breaks in his arm and no muscle tear. Everything is strained, but he’s here. He says that if you’re hurt, you get to keep coming out here and doing what you do best so he’s here. Cue Ace and Cena instantly makes fun of him, as well as confirming the DVD release of No Holds Barred. I’d LOVE a commentary from Hogan on that but it’s not going to happen.

Ace says that he brought Brock in to motivate Cena which Cena doesn’t buy at all. Ace calls it a success but Cena still doesn’t believe him. Cena responds to the WHAT chants and makes fun of Ace some more. Ace says he can make Cena’s life difficult or easy. Cena: “YOU ARE AN IDIOT!” Here’s Tensai, which shouldn’t shock anyone. Cena, with one good arm, stays in the ring but Ace hits him with the mic and…..the opponent is actually going to be Ace. Tensai’s manager kicks Ace in the arm and Tensai helps in the attack. They all attack the arm with Tensai holding it over the steps and Ace crushes it with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was only an ok show. The opening segment was great, then by the fourth time it was just good. The Beat the Clock stuff was ok but again the matches get really boring after awhile because they’re so short. Bryan vs. Punk should be awesome though so I can’t complain there. The ending was about what I expected, which doesn’t help anything.

Results
The Miz b. Santino Marella – Skull Crushing Finale
Layla b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
Chris Jericho vs. Big Show went to a time limit draw
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Splash
Randy Orton b. Jack Swagger – RKO
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Epico/Primo – Trouble In Paradise to Epico
Great Khali vs. Kane went to a no contest
Daniel Bryan b. Jerry Lawler – Yes Lock

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