Smackdown
Date: April 20, 2012
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re still in England this week for the last TV show of the tour. I don’t remember anything being announced for tonight’s show so I’m really not sure what to expect from it. We’ll probably get more build to Bryan vs. Sheamus as well as hopefully a few more matches added to the thin card. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is an annoying piece of malware at the moment.

There’s a six man tag main event: Cody/Bryan/Henry vs. Orton/Sheamus/Khali.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He talks about how Sheamus didn’t do anything better than him at Wrestlemania. Instead of facing him like a man, Sheamus took the coward’s way out and jumped Bryan from behind like he’s done to everyone. At Extreme Rules he won’t get jumped or be distracted. So now it’s back to Chicago where he shocked the world by winning the MITB case. He’ll beat Sheamus twice in the two out of three falls match and get back his rightful title. Did Sheamus cheat at Wrestlemania? YES! Will Bryan win the title back at Extreme Rules? YES!

Cue AJ to a lot of booing. How can you boo someone that looks like that? Bryan tells her to turn around and go away but she says this is the only way she can talk to him. AJ asks if she can just talk to him about their problems but Bryan says he has no problems. He had one, but he got rid of her. Bryan regrets ever going out with her in the first place and he wishes that she was never even born. That finally gets the people to boo Bryan. He asks if there’s any chance he’d ever take AJ back and answers with an emphatic NO before leaving.

AJ vs. Natalya

AJ starts off all stoic but suddenly explodes on Natalya, beating her into the corner. The referee pulls her off twice but AJ won’t let up, drawing a DQ at 48 seconds.

Damien Sandow talks about something Benjamin Franklin said and runs down Dancing With The Stars and Hoarders. At least with Dancing it’s about something that involves work and talent. Most of the other shows he criticizes I completely agree with him on.

Brodus Clay vs. Hunico

Brodus has something to say. He says cut the music and gets booed, prompting him to say it’s coming, so don’t worry. His little brother is supposed to be here so he sends the Funkadactyls (the girls) to go find him. And it’s Horny. Cole’s reaction is exactly what mind is. At least the Mama and the Bridge Club was something original. Brodus does his shaking and Horny gets in to do it as well. Hunico becomes my new hero by shoving him down. The squash commences and the splash ends it in 1:10, about 25 seconds of which was spent on the Hornswoggle part.

Horny hits the Tadpole Splash post match. I hope this isn’t permanent.

Teddy is looking for Aksana but finds Titus and Young who are new to Smackdown. They laugh at him for not signing them and now being a gopher. Ace pops up and they all make fun of Teddy. Titus/Young leave so Ace puts one of those big black furry Queen’s guard hats on Teddy who isn’t allowed to talk or move for the rest of the night.

Orton is in the back with Striker and we get a video on the attack on Cowboy Bob last week. Orton, with his growing mutton chops, says that his dad will be fine. On the other hand, Kane isn’t going to be fine. They have a match at Extreme Rules and it’s falls count anywhere.

Usos vs. Titus O’Neal/Darren Young

NXT comes to Fridays. I forgot how annoying Titus’ song was. Young starts with Jimmy who hits a spinning forearm for two. Off to Jey who hits some double chops before bringing Jimmy back in. Titus comes in and the fans do not care at all. He uses his power stuff and gets a small reaction off a European Uppercut. Back to Young who hits a neckbreaker for two. The fans are waking up a bit. A tag brings in Jimmy who gets the only solid reaction for the US shout to the crowd. Jey gets sent to the floor and a blind tag allows Young and Titus to hit a Hart Attack out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. It might be because I watched these teams fight so many times on NXT but I didn’t care at all about this match. Titus is ok but Young is so uninteresting that it stuns me that he got a main roster spot. I guess having another tag team on the show is good but this match is nothing of note. Another loss for the Usos doesn’t please me either.

The Raw ReBound is about Jericho vs. Punk.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Non-title. Del Rio drives an Aston Martin here which is very appropriate. Del Rio has officially been traded to the Smackdown roster with no compensation announced yet. Big Show blocks Del Rio’s offense out of the corner and shoves him down. Show stands on his chest in the corner and chops it for good measure. An elbow follows for two. Show loads up the big punch but Del Rio kicks him in the knee to take him down.

More kicks to the arm by Del Rio follow and he hooks an armbar. Show shrugs it off but the chokeslam is broken up by a kick to the knee. The Codebreaker to the arm sets up the armbreaker but Show lifts him up with the bad arm into kind of an Angle Slam minus the spin. Show spears him down and calls for the chokeslam. Ricardo gets up on the apron and Cody comes in with the Disaster Kick, giving Del Rio the pin.

Rating: C-. Does any champion other than the world champions EVER get to pin someone? Oh right: Santino does. For the life of me I don’t get the point of why they keep having the champs lose. Have Cody come in for a DQ or something when Show has the match won. One of the biggest reasons the titles mean nothing is the champions lose every time and it’s frustrating because there are other ways to do the same story without having them lose like Show did here.

Cody runs away post match.

Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater are watching the following squash.

Danny Lerman vs. Ryback

Same deal as always but this time it’s a British guy. Lerman hits him and is promptly mangled. Clothesline and MuscleBuster variation win in 1:11.

We get the Brock interview from Raw.

Teddy is still standing in the same place although he’s now in a full uniform. Regal pops up for some jokes and leaves. Aksana’s music hits and HOKEY SMOKE THAT’S CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI! He’s playing the Antonio Cesaro character here, a European rugby player. Ace pops out of his office and invites them in. I’m not British so maybe I don’t get it, but what’s the point of guards that aren’t allowed to move? Couldn’t that create some security risks?

Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry vs. Sheamus/Great Khali/Randy Orton

Main event time. Cody jumps Khali and hits him in the knee as Khali is getting in. Trainers come out and say Khali can’t go. Big Show comes out to replace him.

Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry vs. Sheamus/Big Show/Randy Orton

The match is joined in progress after a break with Randy pounding on Bryan in the corner. Tag to Sheamus so Bryan bails to the corner to tag in Cody. The champ knocks Cody around and hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam for two. Cody’s neckbreaker is countered and Sheamus throws him into position for the ten forearms. Cody reverses a suplex and sends Sheamus to the floor. A baseball slide by Cody sets up the knee off the apron from Bryan, which I think is the same thing that’s happened to him for three or four weeks in a row.

Bryan comes in to stomp on Sheamus now with a YES for each connecting boot. Henry comes in for some choking and it’s back to Rhodes. He works on the arm of the champ and then into a chinlock. Sheamus fights out of that as well and knocks Cody out of the air on the Disaster Kick attempt. Hot tag to Orton and it’s powerslams for all normal sized heels. Cody gets in a shot though and it’s time for a break.

Back with Henry holding Orton in a neck crank and it’s back to Bryan. A running dropkick in the corner gets two. A top rope splash misses and Orton makes the tag to Big Show who faces Henry. Cody manages a knee to the back and Mark clotheslines Show down. The heels beat on him and Cody hooks a figure four that his daddy would be ashamed of. While the hold is still on, Cody makes a tag to Henry who splashes Show for two.

Bryan drops an elbow for two. Hot tag to Sheamus to meet Bryan and the beating is on. Irish Curse gets two with Cody making the save. Rhodes rolls to the floor and lands right in front of Show who knocks him out cold with the WMD. YES Lock is blocked by Sheamus but the Brogue Kick misses as well. Tag to Henry and Sheamus kicks his head off. Show adds the right hand and the RKO gets the pin at 13:20 shown of at least 16:50.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was getting into this match at the end. First of all, the right guy got pinned. There would have been no reason to have Bryan or Cody lose before the PPV so Henry was the right choice. Second, they changed up the formula by having each good guy be in trouble which made the match more fleshed out and told a better story. Also the total destruction of Henry at the end was a nice touch.

Show was limping post match.

Overall Rating: B. This was a solid episode as everything moved pretty smoothly and a lot of people got on TV. We had a debut and a solid main event, plus a new match added to the PPV with Kane vs. Orton. The one thing I’m concerned about is we seem to only have five matches (Brock/Cena, Kane/Orton, Jericho/Punk, Sheamus/Bryan and presumably Cody/Show) and there’s a week left. They’ll need to add two or three matches in two shows which is possible but a bit rushed. Still though, good show tonight.

Results
Natalya b. AJ via DQ when AJ wouldn’t stop attacking Natalya in the corner
Brodus Clay b. Hunico – Big Splash
Titus O’Neal/Darren Young b. Usos – Hart Attack out of the corner
Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Pin after a Disaster Kick from Cody Rhodes
Ryback b. Danny Lerman – MuscleBuster
Big Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Mark Henry/Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Henry

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No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

For you WrestleZone enthusiasts, this is the first PPV I ever did an LD for. For those of you that have no idea what I just said, I’d recommend a Yoo-Hoo and some store brand cookies. Anyway, this is the HHH show as Cena is injured, so it’s HHH wrestling three times to take his place. First of all, he has to get the world title so we’ll get to that part first. This is one of the shows that made the number of title reigns stupid for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Book of Genesis and how Cena’s rain (as in the rain of Noah) is over. The idea is that there’s a guaranteed new champion tonight.

We open the show with Vince and his lackey Regal. Oh ok Regal is GM. Vince says that Cena is no longer champion, thereby ending his year long reign. The fans chant for Y2J but Vince says no. Jericho was still yet to return as the SAVE US videos had been airing already. Instead the new champion is the #1 contender, Randy Orton. Orton comes out and gets a big pyro display when he takes the title off the stand it was on.

Orton has to defend it tonight but he gets to hand pick his opponent. The fans again chant for Y2J and Vince goes into EVIL mode, saying to shut up because the champion is about to speak. Orton says he won’t be defending against Cena tonight because he’s the latest name on the list of Orton’s victims. He says there’s no one that can stand up to him….and here’s HHH to a big ovation.

HHH says he knows Orton will be a fighting champion, so how about a title match right here and now? Orton says no so HHH says that Orton must not want his second title reign to be shorter than his first. The people cheer so HHH says that it’s clearly what the people want and that’s what Vince does, but Vince still says no. The Game calls the Boss a balless coward and that he has raisins, not grapefruits. That does it so ring the bell.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Vince distracts HHH and Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. That lasts about 5 seconds as HHH elbows him down. Orton bails to the floor and tries to take a walk but HHH stops him. Orton heads to the floor again and HHH stops him again. Back in HHH knees him down but his suplex is countered into the backbreaker for two. HHH slugs back but walks into the powerslam for two.

Here come the stomps as Orton was still in that slow motion period of his career. You know, the one that ran for like 5 years. Chinlock time which HHH breaks out of and clotheslines Orton down. Another clothesline in the corner crushes Randy and it’s time for a superplex. HHH’s feet hit the mat a bit there so the landing was a little awkward. Either way it just gets two.

Orton tries to charge at HHH but walks into a spinebuster for two. HHH sends him to the floor and then back in, but on the way back inside he walks into the elevated DDT for two. The kickout got a big reaction. RKO and Pedigree are both countered but Orton walks into a knee to the head. HHH hooks a Figure Four and a good one at that. That gets escaped and HHH goes up but gets crotched. Orton charges into the post and HHH rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it only ran about eleven minutes so they didn’t have a ton of time to get anything going. This is one of the instances where I was talking about the title reigns meaning nothing, as one of Orton’s current nine reigns lasted a total of about 15 minutes. Anyway the match wasn’t that bad and having the ending be something other than a finisher into a pin was a nice change of pace.

HHH celebrates for a good long while.

Orton is freaked out in the back and runs into Vince. Nothing is said.

Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

This is a bonus match, Jeff is the IC Champion and the country boys are the Raw tag champions. The tag champs say they have a new partner to keep another fluke like the one on Raw from happening. Cade and Kendrick start things off and it’s quickly off to London. Murdoch comes in and gets taken apart by a double teaming from Hardy and London. Trevor runs Hardy over with a clothesline and it’s off to Kennedy with a big pop.

Kennedy misses a charge and Hardy tags in Kendrick. Cade is in as well and Murdoch low bridges Brian to the floor. Kendrick plays Ricky Morton for awhile as Kennedy chokes him in the corner. A BIG boot in the corner gets two. Cravate keeps Kendrick down and he still can’t make a tag. Back to Cade who loads up a superplex but Kendrick headbutts his way out of it and a tornado DDT puts Cade down.

Double tags bring in Jeff and Trevor and Hardy tries that sitout gordbuster of his. He drops Murdoch though and Trevor LANDS ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Swanton would get the pin but Murdoch rolls to the floor to check if he’s dead. London vs. Kennedy now and Kennedy is put down with a spinwheel kick. Hardy misses whatever he was going for as Kendrick and Murdoch fall to the floor. Kennedy gets London on top and the rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Considering Murdoch is still alive, this at least ends on a positive note. The ending was cool too and with this being a bonus match, there’s only so much criticism I can give this match. It did its job, although I kind of wonder what the ads for this show were like given that there was a big ten minute hole in it and they already had a 15 minute talking segment to open things up.

HHH and Batista, both world champions at the moment, run into each other in the back. Batista says someone once told him that it’s a lot easier to win it than to keep it. Batista has a Punjabi Prison match against Khali later. Great. Dave leaves and HHH runs into Vince. Vince says he gives the people what they want and there was a match advertised between HHH and Umaga, which is what the people are going to get. The title is on the line.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V is challenging and has Striker with him. This was supposed to be Dreamer vs. Punk but GM Estrada did something to stop that. Punk is the hometown boy so you know he gets a big pop. V immediately throws Punk to the floor and back in it’s anal raping time. Look up the Visagra and you’ll get the idea. Punk comes back with some kicks but they have no effect at all. A corner splash misses and a missile dropkick puts V down….and here’s Striker for the DQ. This was like 90 seconds long.

V crushes him post match. What was the point of any of this? Punk is helped out by referees.

We recap the series of contests betwee MVP and Matt Hardy, including arm wrestling, boxing (with Evander Holyfield being brought in as a surrogate), basketball, chess, throwing a football and push-ups. Tonight: it’s a pizza eating contest. OH COME ON. Taz is hosting. There are judges for this for no apparent reason: Melina and Maria. They’re scorekeepers instead of judges. MVP is US Champion but he wouldn’t actually drop the title to Matt until APRIL, as in six and a half months from now. They’re also tag champions.

MVP complains about the pizza because it’s not healthy. He criticizes Chicago for being fat, prompting Maria to say she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? Matt and MVP get in a stupid argument as this just drags on and on and on. It’s finally time to eat and by the time this starts, this segment has gone longer than the six man went. Matt quickly slows down and it doesn’t matter as it takes MVP almost two minutes to eat a single slice. Yes, they’re eating for two minutes. The final score is two slices to zero with Matt winning. Matt throws up on MVP. This went longer than the world title match.

Cyber Sunday ad. They say you can pick HIAC as a stipulation. Obviously that never happened.

We recap HH vs. Umaga, which is really HHH vs. Vince with a surrogate Samoan. This ties into the whole Horny is Vince’s legitimate son son deal. The match was originally non-title because neither guy had a title coming in.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH gets to use King of Kings now that he’s champion. Umaga takes him down immediately so HHH fires back with a DDT. Thankfully Umaga remembers his racial stereotypes and no sells it. HHH low bridges him and we go to the floor. Umaga gets rammed into the steps and yells at HHH for it. My goodness it’s nice to see a Samoan monster that knows how to take a beating to the head.

Back in Umaga pounds him down but misses a middle rope headbutt. For some reason that slows him down but the Facebuster has no effect. Pedigree is countered but the spinebuster works just fine. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a Samoan Drop and the Game has bad ribs. Out to the floor and HHH goes into the barricade. Back in for a bearhug as the champ is in trouble.

Umaga shifts up into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The headbutt (this time not of the ropes) hits the bad ribs and is followed by a knee. Umaga pounds on the head of the Game and has him down in the corner. The running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA! NOT FREAKING RIKISHI YOU STUPID NXT PEOPLE!) misses, Umaga gets launched into the post and HHH hits a quick Pedigree to retain.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it felt like a Raw main event instead of a PPV title match. Then again this is only the second PPV title match out of four tonight so it’s ok if there’s a match with only about six and a half minutes. It’s nothing that great but it was good to allow HHH to look good. You know, like in a real title reign at a smaller PPV instead of in the third match of the night, but whatever.

We put a spotlight on the Punjabi Prison and have an ominous song but that’s later on. Instead, we see Khali meditating.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

No reason given for the match before the entrances. Rey is listed at 165. That’s small even for him. Feeling out process to start but Rey takes him down with a shot to the knee and a low dropkick. Slingshot splash gets two. A hard (and appropriate) Irish whip slows Rey down but he dropkicks the knee again to send Finlay to the apron. More kicks look to set up a sunset bomb to the floor but Finlay escapes and ties him up in the ring skirt and pounds away to take over.

Rey gets thrown shoulder first into the post and it’s a Fujiwara Armbar from Finlay. A hard clothesline gets two and it’s back to the arm. Rey manages to snapmare his way out of a crossface chickenwing and send Finlay into the buckle. Springboard crossbody gets two. Seated senton gets the same and a counter to the sitout bulldog is countered into 619 position, but Finlay counters the counter to the counter (got that?) to clothesline him down for two.

A rana out of the corner is countered into a shoulder breaker for two. The Irishman takes a buckle pad off and uses the distraction of the referee to go for the club. Rey blocks the shot and ranas Finlay to the floor. Finlay is in 619 position on the apron (as in he’s outside the ring) but the 619 misses. Rey kicks him in the head and drops a leg on the back of his head, sending Finlay to the floor with a THUD. The referee calls for help and the match is over.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end. The more I see of Finlay the more I tend to like his work. He’s really good at going out there and having a solid match and being a bully for someone to stand up to which is a good character to have. Rey is perfect as the underdog too so the chemistry was there. The ending kind of sucked though.

The replay makes it look even worse. He’s taken out on a stretcher…..and he pops up to jump Rey and the place FREAKS. This was a really good performance considering it went so fast. The beating is bad enough for Rey to be taken out on a stretcher.

SAVE US! WHOEVER YOU ARE!

HHH has ice on his ribs when Vince comes in. He guaranteed the fans a last man standing match, so that’s what HHH has tonight against Orton for the title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Beth says this is the era of the Glamazon.

The Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Khali. Batista got the title in a threeway at Unforgiven by pinning the giant. Khali wanted a rematch one on one but on his terms. The cage is explained which we’ll get to in a minute. It’s more complicated than it needs to be anyway.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

We recap the night long story with HHH vs. Vince/Orton. HHH is in the back and says the Game isn’t over. He’s coming for Orton.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Overall Rating: B-. I didn’t like it as much as the 06 version but this was still a solid show. The HHH vs. Orton love fest didn’t quite do it for me but the rest of the stuff was good enough and you can’t say nothing happened here. This is turning into a show that you expect nothing from but get a good result out of and that’s fine with me. There’s one more to go and I remember liking it a lot.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the first show after Lockdown and according to the previews, Hogan has a huge announcement for the night. That could mean anything around here so I have no idea what to expect. Other than that Eric is supposedly gone (why do I not buy that) and Roode retained the title in a pretty questionable decision. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Lockdown and Storm saying that this is a tough one to swallow.

Here’s Roode to open the show and he has short hair now. He says all of his catchphrases and says he’s still world champion. The kick nailed him but he’s still champion. He says that he’s beaten every one of the people’s heroes and there aren’t any left. Cue Anderson who says he doesn’t need a gun, a knife or a beer bottle to take the title. Roode says Anderson isn’t at the front of the line so hit the road Jack.

That brings out Hardy who limps to the ring just like Roode did. Hardy says it’s time to get selfish and end Roode. Anderson says he was here first which Roode agrees with. Hardy says it’s his turn but Anderson tells him to get in line. They’re about to brawl but Hogan pops up on screen and has something to say. He wants all of the champions in the ring tonight. As for Hardy and Anderson, they’ll have a match later for the #1 contender spot in the main event.

Crimson/Bully Ray vs. Matt Morgan/Austin Aries

Nothing wrong with combining feuds. Crimson and Morgan get it on to start but Ray interferes to make Morgan miss a boot. Crimson works on the leg with Ray ramming it into the apron. Ray works on the knee for awhile before Crimson comes back in to work on the leg, including a basic leg lock. Morgan avoids a charging Crimson and makes the tag to Aries.

The champ fires off with a bunch of speed and tries some poetry in motion with Crimson playing Matt. Crimson accidentally spears Ray and heads to the floor. Suicide dive takes out Crimson so Aries loads up the brainbuster. Ray rolls out of it and a handful of tights pins Aries at 6:03.

Rating: C-. Not much here but I guess it’s supposed to set up Aries vs. Ray down the line. At least that’s what the signs would be pointing to here. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it didn’t really make me want to see either of these pairings go at it again, which kind of defeats the purpose of the match.

Hardy says he and Anderson both deserve chances so he’s fine with Hogan’s decision.

Here’s Garrett to bring the show down. He has his Lockdown team with him minus Aries. AJ is in black gloves for some reason. Garrett says they won after a hard fight and got rid of his dad. Here’s Flair to say that they got rid of Eric BEEP. Yeah they’re censoring his name now. Flair runs down the guys in the ring and says next week there’s going to be an Eric party. He’ll drinking there too and those four aren’t invited.

We go to the back with Daniels and Kaz. Daniels has an envelope which apparently holds whatever he has over AJ. It’s over AJ and not Kaz. Ok then.

Joe, Magnus and D-Von have a quick powwow but don’t know what the announcement is about later.

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

AJ has black tights and gloves. The look really isn’t working for him. Angle tries a German suplex grip but AJ escapes….and the screen goes black and we go to a commercial. Seemed like a glitch. Back from what I guess was an early cut to a commercial. Daniels and Kaz are at ringside. Styles hits the springboard forearm but Daniels pops up on the apron with the envelope. AJ escapes the slam and Daniels shows Styles the papers. The distraction lets Angle roll him up for the win at 5:26 total, but about 4:30 was in commercial so no rating.

AJ is freaked out by the envelope and he doesn’t seem that concerned with the loss. Daniels says he has copies.

Joseph Park is still looking for Immortal but Gunner still doesn’t want to talk to him. Joseph stops him from leaving and says that he’s not going anywhere because he wants answers. Gunner says go talk to Bully Ray. Park seems cool with that idea.

Here come all the champions and the feed cuts out again as D-Von comes to the ring. This wasn’t as bad as it only cut about 5 seconds because it was said they were going to commercial.

Back and all the champions are in the ring. In the back RVD is coming to the ring and Hogan stops him for some congratulating. Hogan throws him in the #1 contenders match, I think because he was on the team that got rid of Eric. Well at least it’s not Garrett getting the chance.

Hogan comes to the arena now for his big announcement. Starting next week, once a month it’s Open Fight Night. On that month, someone from outside of TNA is going to be able to come on Impact to wrestle. They get to have a match and they’ll be judged by three people. If the judges and Hulk like what they see, the person gets a contract. So they’re combining this with his Celebrity Wrestling show? Oh and also, ANYONE can issue a challenge to ANYONE and it’s automatically a fight.

Roode obviously protests and says that’s not fair. He asks Hogan who he thinks he is and there goes his intelligence. If a champion gets called out, Hogan gets to decide if it’s a title match. You can tweet and Facebook Hulk ideas as well to determine if a champion defends. D-Von says he wants to be a fighting champion so the TV Title will be on the line every week. So to recap, every month someone from outside the company gets to come in and try their luck for a contract. There’s the challenge night, and there’s going to be a title match that night every month. Oh and the TV Title is defended weekly now.

Gail Kim/Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher/Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Velvet vs. Sarita to start and Sky hits the Kelly Kelly headscissors. Off to Rosita who gets beaten down as well. Gail comes in and hits a clothesline for two. Velvet smacks her around so it’s off to Madison vs. Brooke and then Mickie very quickly. Flapjack takes Madison down and Mickie goes up, but Sarita pulls her onto the ropes for two. With Mickie on her knees, Rosita manages to hit a rana for two.

Mickie hits a neckbreaker for some breathing room and it’s off to Tara. Down goes Sarita and we get the jiggling moonsault. Tessmacher comes in and gets Salsa danced at. TNT takes Sarita down and dances as well. Facejam out of the corner draws in Madison and it’s off to Gail quickly. Everything breaks down and Velvet distracts Gail enough for Brooke to get the rollup pin at 5:40.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but the whole reason it was there was to st up Brooke as the next challenger. Well that and to have eight hot women in small outfits in the ring at the same time so on both levels it worked. We needed some fresh blood in the division anywhere so this is a good thing.

Velvet yells at Gail post match like she was the one that got the pin.

ODB and Eric are on their honeymoon. They’re by a pool and Eric has a bag of ice on his pelvis because of some friction issues. A guy pops up and Eric freaks on him and strips down.

TV Title: Gunner vs. D-Von

Gunner jumps him and we’re off and not quite running. D-Von comes back with his right hands but runs into an elbow. Clothesline gets two for Gunner. He beats on Gunner for a bit until D-Von comes back with a shoulder block. Thesz Press sets up a headbutt and more jumping moves. Spinebuster finishes clean at 4:07.

Rating: D+. This match exists. That’s about all I can say for it. D-Von has done ok I guess, but there are so many other people that they could use in his spot which is what makes me skeptical of him. Not a bad match but I think I like this idea of the title being on the line every week. It’s a lot better than the nonsense of it being just at PPVs.

Here’s Storm for the big talk post Lockdown. After a break he apologizes to his family and thought that Roode being looked at by medics was enough. Then he had to drive home and look at his daughter when she asked where the belt was. He couldn’t look himself in the eyes either because he didn’t want to see a failure. Storm says he beat himself and talks about all the work he’s put in to get here. His biggest apology is to his dad though, because that’s who he let down the most. Roode said that Storm’s luck has run out and maybe that’s true. He drops the mic and walks away. Really good promo.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets Roode at Sacrifice. Everyone attacks everyone to start with no one getting a distinct advantage. Jeff’s sitout gordbuster gets two on RVD. Hardy gets sent into the post and Anderson hooks a chinlock on Van Dam. Whisper in the Wind takes Anderson down and it’s into one of the triple threat formulas, this one being everyone takes everyone down and no one gets a long term advantage. Twist to Anderson and Jeff hits the Swanton but Van Dam kicks his head off before a cover. Five Star hits Anderson and a backslide to Hardy gives Rob the win at 5:24.

Rating: C-. This was uh….short. It wasn’t bad or anything but it never got off the ground due to the time in it. I’m curious as to where Anderson and Hardy go here, but Van Dam vs. Roode seems like a pretty weak main event at Sacrifice. To be fair though, maybe that’s what they’re going for. Not a bad match but it’s nothing that’s going to be remembered.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a mixed bag for me. There’s some good stuff in here but some more questionable stuff. Unless Storm is hurt, I don’t get where they’re going with him. Then again I haven’t gotten it since they had the Lockdown match end that way. Other than the TV Title, it’s a wait and see moment with Hogan’s announcement at this point as there’s a lot of stuff to take in. This wasn’t a bad show, but it’s more of a starting point so it’s hard to say what this stuff is going to mean.

Results
Bully Ray/Crimson b. Matt Morgan/Austin Aries – Ray pinned Aries with a rollup
Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles – Rolup
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim/Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne – Tessmacher pinned Kim with a rollup
D-Von b. Gunner – Spinebuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson – Backslide to Hardy

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No Mercy 2006
Date: October 8, 2006
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the WWE PPVs and it’s a Smackdown show with Booker defending. This is hardly an exciting looking main event with Booker defending against Finlay, Lashley and Batista. Other than that we have the debut of MVP against a jobber and Kennedy vs. Undertaker in what I’m sure is going to be a thriller. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main event with Booker talking about how he’s going to reign forever on Smackdown. The announcers talking about how screwed Booker is might as well be putting a big stamp on the show saying BOOKER RETAINS.

The pyro seems exceptionally better for some reason.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

This feud went on for a long time. Both guys are from North Carolina so there really isn’t a crowd favorite. Helms is the Cruiserweight Champion so facing a heavyweight is supposed to be a big deal for him. Helms literally is the hometown boy as he’s billed from Raleigh. He won the first match via a low blow and Matt won the second one the same way. Matt uses his weight to take him down with a shoulder and they stare at each other.

Helms goes after the arm which doesn’t work but the second attempt works. A kick to the back gives Helms the advantage and by shouting THIS IS MY HOUSE, he becomes the crowd favorite. Matt comes back with a suplex and clotheslines Helms to the floor. Pescado follows up and Cole screws up by saying TLC 2 was six years ago in this build. Back in and Matt gets dropped on the top buckle and a backbreaker gets two.

Something like a Codebreaker gets the same. Off to an arm trap chinlock but Matt fights up and hits a reverse DDT for two. They slug it out and Matt clotheslines him down for two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate is loaded up but Helms counters with a weird belly to belly suplex/Eye of the Hurricane combo for two. He hits the same move again and gets the same result. A third one lets him go to the top but he jumps into a punch.

Side Effect gets two. Another Side Effect hits and a release Rock Bottom sets up the moonsault but it lands on knees. Shining Wizard misses but a second attempt hits for two. This is getting really good. Hardy goes up but gets crotched, allowing Helms to hit some weird kick off the top which looked like it missed. That only gets two so Helms tries the Eye of the Hurricane but Matt counters it into the Twist of Fate and it’s finally over.

Rating: B. Good opening match here with both guys showing off for their hometown crowd. It’s amazing what happens when you give guys like these two almost fifteen minutes and let them have some fun. Matt looked good and motivated which is definitely his biggest flaw most of the time. Well that and the fact that he’s insane. Good stuff.

Sharmell tries to calm down Booker as he’s nervous about the main event. Regal comes in and Booker says his services are needed more than ever. Booker says he’s against three dragons and can’t even trust his own knight Finlay. Regal says he’s in for whatever Booker needs. Booker wants Finlay to lay down and wants Regal to talk him into it.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Teacher’s Pets

The Pets are managed by Michelle McCool and are K.C. James and Idol Stevens. Stevens is now known as Damien Sandow who is currently about to debut on Smackdown. The champs have Ashley Massaro with them. Stevens and London start things off and down goes Stevens to a rana. Off to Kendrick as they’re moving incredibly fast here with some Motor City Machineguns kind of stuff. Top rope cross body gets two.

The champions take over and it’s off to K.C. He has less success than his partner and is sent to the floor. Back to Stevens who is thrown right back to the floor. Stereo dives take the challengers out but McCool interferes to knock London off the top. Stevens misses a legdrop back in the ring so it’s back to James with a knee to the back for two. Chinlock goes on and then a modified abdominal stretch.

London fights out of that too and the heels do some pretty weak double teaming to keep him in the match. This isn’t a very interesting match as the challengers are really not that good. Case in point, London easily takes them both down but Stevens manages to break up the tag. The second time though Paul makes them look like idiots again and makes the tag to Brian.

JBL is talking about demolition derbies with Chinese acrobats for some reason. London hits a suicide dive to take out Stevens and James hits a superplex for two on Kendrick. Back in the ring more more heel miscommunication leads to Kendrick hitting a tornado DDT for two. Stevens hits Kendrick with a backbreaker after McCool offers a distraction, getting two. The girls get into a fight as London launches Kendrick into a double dropkick to take out both of them. Sliced Bread sets up a Poetry In Motion into a Shooting Star from London for the pin on Stevens.

Rating: C. It’s not a bad match but it was just kind of there. The tag division was incredibly weak at this point as you can tell with people like Stevens and James getting a title match. They weren’t ready for this spot and it was painfully obvious that it was the case. McCool would go on to be a much bigger star than either of them.

Marine trailer kills some time because the premiere is Friday.

Regal is trying to find Finlay but finds Vito in a dress. He runs off and falls into a bunch of ketchup and mustard which was there for him to fall into.

Here’s Teddy and there’s a massive birthday present in the ring, as in it comes up to Teddy’s ears. Today is the birthday of……The Miz! He’s undefeated at this point and has earned a celebration. There’s cake too. JBL is going off on Miz and it’s hilarious. Miz does the HOO RAH thing and the fans seem into it. Teddy says Miz has been hitting on Layla lately so here she is to celebrate with him. She’s in a robe which clearly has lingerie under it. This is the curly haired and therefore much hotter Layla.

His birthday wish is for her, but she stops him and says chair please. Miz: GET HER A CHAIR!!! She sits him down and he gives commentary on her blowing in his ear. She asks for some music and JBL is losing it. There goes the robe and dang she looks good. She blindfolds him and he asks for whips and chains. The present gets opened up and it’s Big Dick Johnson in a thong of course. I think they did this on ECW as well. I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Buy the Vince DVD. No seriously, that thing is hilarious.

MVP vs. Marty Garner

This is MVP’s in ring debut and Garner is a jobber from OMEGA and some indies. He was occasionally in WWF as a jobber. JBL hates MVP and rips him apart through his short promo. The fans chant Power Ranger. MVP slaps him down before the match starts and JBL is cracking me up as he insults MVP. Garner gets in a right hand and JBL turns into a cheerleader. MVP is in blue which JBL calls blueberry bling. The Play of the Day or whatever he called his finisher gets the pin. Total squash. Again, I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Regal gets out of the shower as does Vito. Regal drops his towel and he runs down the hall, into Teddy Long. Teddy thinks that Regal has so much time so he can have a match with Benoit. Gee, good thing they didn’t advertise two of the best technical guys ever having a match. People might have paid to see it.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy: “You’re old, I’m new, those mind games won’t work on me, let’s fight.” That took two minutes to explain.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy is US Champion but that title is underneath Undertaker so this is non-title. Speed vs. power here as Undertaker throws him into the corner but Kennedy escapes. BIG boot takes Kennedy’s head off and it’s time for arm work. Out to the floor and Kennedy’s arm goes into the steps before it’s back inside the square circle. Wristlock is broken up so it’s back to the floor with Kennedy’s arm eating post again.

A boot to the shoulder keeps Kennedy in trouble and now it’s Old School time. Kennedy manages to armdrag him off the top and both guys are down. Kennedy pounds him in the corner but Taker snaps up and hits Old School for two. A running big boot in the corner misses and Taker is knocked into the barricade. Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. He hasn’t been able to get any kind of extended advantage at all for more than about 10 seconds.

Back in the ring and Kennedy pulls Taker through the ropes to get himself a breather. Kennedy drills him coming back in, getting two. The running hip attack to the guy that is on the middle rope gets two. The move Ryder calls the Broski Boot hits and Taker is in trouble. Taker fights up from his knees and knocks Kennedy to the floor. The legdrop across the apron connects.

Back in Kennedy hits a perfectly regular piledriver which Cole calls a Tombstone. It gets two and JBL says he’s speechless. WHY IS SOMEONE PILEDRIVING UNDERTAKER A BIG DEAL??? Cole freaks over it every time when ONLY Kane has had success with it. They even show replays of it. Back at Mania in 2011 they FREAKED when HHH hit one. I don’t get it.

Kennedy hooks a rear naked choke but Taker comes out of it with a Saito Suplex. Slugout is won by Taker with the flying clothesline. Snake Eyes is followed by the big boot and leg, but it only gets two brother. Chokeslam is countered and Kennedy hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A high kick is ducked and there’s the chokeslam but no cover.

Last Ride is countered and they almost run into the referee. A buckle was exposed somewhere during this match and Kennedy rams Taker into it, followed by a clothesline to take him down. Kenton Bomb gets two so Kennedy is going to walk. Taker grabs the belt and hits him with it for the freaking LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting REALLY good at the end and then they screw it up with something like that. I mean, at least make it for the belt to make it worth something before you do something that annoying. Taker was actually feeling it tonight to the point that you might have thought Kennedy could pull off the huge upset. Good stuff here until the ending.

Taker destroys Kennedy and the referee post match. Both guys get tombstoned.

Cyber Sunday ad.

We recap Rey vs. Chavo Part 9000. Chavo cost Rey the title at the Bash because he claimed Rey was making a career off the Guerrero name. Well yeah, what’s your point? Vickie sided with Chavo too. Dominic was involved in this somehow too but he didn’t mean much.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

This is falls count anywhere. The idea at the start is that Chavo is trying to win and Rey is trying to pound on Chavo. They go to the corner and it looks like Chavo is trying to powerbomb him off the top to the floor. Rey knocks him off but falls down as well. A dropkick to the side of Chavo’s head puts him down but Chavo comes back with forearms. They go up to the entrance and Chavo tries another powerbomb but Rey grabs the bottom of the set to escape.

While still holding on he hooks a rana to send Chavo into the steel for two. They fight into the empty space on the right of the stage and Rey goes into the hockey boards. Chavo sends him into the barricade in front of the fans and Rey jumps over it to give himself a breather. Chavo goes into the railing and Rey drops a leg on his back for two. Rey tries the wheelbarrow bulldog but Guerrero counters and rams him into the boards for two instead.

They fight up the steps in the crowd with Chavo in control. Rey comes back with some kicks to the ribs and Chavo goes down. He knocks Chavo over the boards and back to the floor level seats. A seated senton takes Chavo down but since he can’t follow up, Guerrero is able to clothesline him down. Rey gets thrown into some chairs and they go to a set of steps into the upper stands. Rey uses the railing for a 619 to put Chavo down and a cross body off said railing gets three.

Rating: B-. Good match here as the brawling was working with the style match they had. This feud went on for awhile longer until I think Rey had to take time off for a knee injury. I might have to be more specific on that so it was the one in 2006. I might have to be more specific than that, but you get the idea. Anyway, this match was good as it felt more like a fight, which was supposed to be the idea.

Clip from the Marine premiere at a military base.

William Regal vs. Chris Benoit

Big pop for Benoit. This is Benoit’s return from an injury. Technical stuff (duh) to start and they head to the mat. They fight over a top wristlock and Regal gets a test of strength grip and Benoit fights up to take over. Regal gets taken to the mat with one as well but he bridges off the mat and nips up. Some very technical stuff here which isn’t the most interesting stuff but it’s awesome if that’s your thing.

Benoit comes back with a HARD chop and headbutts so hard that you can hear the thud. Swan Dive misses and both guys are busted open. The Canadian tries a German on the Englishman but Regal escapes to the apron. Benoit tries another German to the floor but Regal elbows him to the floor. Regal knees him in the head back inside but Benoit picks the leg for a Sharpshooter attempt.

Regal breaks that up and fires away some more. Off to a dragon sleeper head grip while the rest of Benoit’s body is in an abdominal stretch position. That’s pretty awesome. Benoit escapes to the corner where he chops the open cut on Regal’s head. GEEZ that’s awesome for some reason. Regal suplexes him down and a knee drop gets two.

Benoit hooks a Fujiwara Armbar but Regal makes the rope and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE for two. Regal hooks a surfboard but bends Benoit back into a dragon sleeper grip. These holds are awesome. Benoit rolls out of something and goes old school with the dragon suplex (old finisher). He fights into the Crossface and Regal has to tap.

Rating: B+. You give these guys seven or eight more minutes and it’s the match of the year EASILY. This is my kind of match right here: the technical clinic with the hard brawling thrown in. I love this kind of stuff and these are probably two of the best ever at it. These two had some masterpieces, including one on freaking Velocity of all shows. They know some freaking awesome holds to put on people and make them scream and this was no exception. Great match.

JBL is already wanting Benoit to hurt MVP.

Regal comes into the back and Booker asks if he found Finlay. Regal explains his day and Booker doesn’t want to hear it. Booker breaking between his usual talk and his royal stuff is pretty awesome. Finlay pops up and says he’s here to fight and win the title, not lay down. Booker says oh yes you will and gets drilled.

We recap the world title match. Basically Booker is champion so here are three challenges to face him at once so we can validate his reign. All three challenges beat Booker up so he has NO CHANCE right? This match was made on Smackdown before the show I believe.

Lashley (no reaction) is getting taped up when Batista (POP) comes in. They imply they’ll fight if need be.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista

No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money idiot!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.

Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.

Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.

Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.

Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very pleasant surprise. It’s not a great show or anything but if you had three hours to kill, you’d be pleased with this one. Nothing on it is must see or anything, but for a total throwaway PPV it wasn’t bad at all. It’s no classic or anything, but if you’ve got time and are curious, check this one out.

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Simple question which I feel like I might have asked before.I’ll go with the Attitude Era Raw theme.  It’s great for firing people up for the show as it’s hard rock which fits in well for the theme of the show.

 

Thoughts/picks?

NXT
Date: April 18, 2012
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

We’re in Regal country tonight and after a good show last week, hopefully this time things pick up even more. We’ve had some stories on the show lately and they’ve been done well with the long backstage segments. For the first time in a long time I’m actually looking forward to this show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video now has a recap which is the exact same format of Glee. I think that’s Bateman narrating. It covers the whole Stolen Striker story. This even has the bell and the title in lower case letters.

Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis

Regal gives us a quick story about hang gliding without any clothes on and being in jail for two days, getting here just in time. The announcers are talking about Glee now as Maxine sits in on commentary. Watson hits a leg lariat for a quick two. Maxine blames Curtis for being the mastermind for the whole Striker caper. There’s no relationship between Curtis and Maxine. Curtis makes his comeback but walks into an armdrag.

That gets Watson nowhere so it’s right back to Curtis choking away. The majority of this match is about Maxine and the plot which she denies connection to, meaning the camera is on her for most of the time as well. Regal talks about going to the Himalayas and how they can pick up a mountain gazelle for its hair and how it was made into something he’s wearing today. That’s a bigger lie than anything Maxine has said today.

Curtis hooks a chinlock as this is getting more time than it probably should given the guys that are in there. A jawbreaker gets Watson out of the hold and he speeds things up. A dropkick puts Curtis down as does the jumping clothesline. Heisman gets two and the Persecution gets the pin at 8:19.

Rating: C-. I’m really hoping this commentary with Maxine/Regal is leading to SOMETHING with Watson as he’s having the same match every week and there’s nothing coming out of it that I can see. Watson is athletic but he needs some reason for us to care about him which he doesn’t have at all right now.

Post match Regal calls Curtis to the back. Curtis has to sit in on commentary with Regal during Maxine’s match, which is next.

Maxine vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn has new music. She grabs two quick rollups for two and a backbreaker for the same. Maxine comes back with a neck crank and some chest slaps. Curtis talks about playing as Regal in WCW/NWO Revenge which is a cool thing to hear. Kaitlyn breaks out of it and hits a cross body for two. Maxine sends her into the buckle and a dragon sleeper with a body scissors gets the submission at 3:33.

Rating: D+. They look good and that’s about it. Maxine is one of the few Divas with an actual personality and it helps her a lot. That and she’s not just another blonde. The match was nothing that good but it was better than most of the 40 second matches that I’ve gotten used to lately from the girls.

Post match Regal says he doesn’t believe either of them about Striker, so Maxine is required to be his manager or they’re fired. He has a contract to make it official. They go to sign it and Regal handcuffs them together. That’s from the arrest story he told to start the show.

Titus and Young are in the back and…..THEY’RE GOING TO SMACKDOWN???? AS IN PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THE SHOW???? SOMETHING IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ON THIS SHOW??? They do a stupid dance.

Striker is looking in a mirror and has Hawkins’ cane. There’s a showdown tonight.

Raw ReBound is about Punk vs. Jericho.

Reks and Hawkins are yelling at each other in the back and say they’re done. Maxine and Curtis come in and yell at each other as well because they’re stuck together. Watson comes up and laughs at them. Bateman comes up and finds it hilarious. Kaitlyn thinks Maxine should be used to handcuffs. Comedy ensues.

Here are Hawkins and Reks who say that Regal doctored the footage which said it was them that kidnapped Striker. Striker pops up and says that he’s not 6’3 and 300lbs but he’s been accepted. He calls the two guys chavs which will make sense if you’re from England but the name fits. Striker talks about being chloroformed and beaten. The people don’t believe the lies and everyone knows it was them. Hawkins says so what so Striker swings the cane at both of them. Regal stops them and says right now it’s Reks vs. Hawkins, loser gets fired.

Curt Hawkins vs. Tyler Reks

Oh and Striker is guest referee. He just happened to be wearing a referee shirt under his jacket. Reks says they’re friends but in the middle of it Hawkins decks him. We take a break with Hawkins on the floor. The bell rings when we come back and Hawkins is sent to the floor again. Reks pounds on him as Regal talks about throwing a ferret in a bucket with a rat. Reks misses a top rope shoulder and Hawkins takes control.

Off to a chinlock as the fans make Reks the face by default. A kind of suplex gets two and Hawkins guillotines him on the top rope. He spends too much time yelling at the people though and Reks hits a pescado to take him out. Downward Spiral gets two in the ring for Tyler. Hawkins tries what looked to be a suplex of some sort but Reks gets behind him and a rollup pins Hawkins at 5:30.

Rating: D+. I’m glad one of them is gone as this isn’t an interesting pairing at all. The heel team of them didn’t work either and I don’t know of a single instance where I cared about these two at all. Not a good match either although Hawkins isn’t terrible I guess. At least the match was short though. Striker didn’t mean anything at all in this match.

Striker punches Hawkins post match.

Regal fires Reks post match as well because he wants to.

Overall Rating: C. Hokey smoke FOUR PEOPLE left the show tonight. Considering there hasn’t been anyone gone in months, this is catching up for lost time to say the least. I’m very glad that they’re actually changing some things for once as now the only rookie left is Bateman, assuming Titus and Young don’t stick around anyway. I can’t imagine them hanging out on Smackdown that much, but at least we might get some fresh blood here. That’s a huge step in the right direction for this show and that’s a good thing.

Results
Percy Watson b. Johnny Curtis – Persecution
Maxine b. Kaitlyn – Dragon Sleeper
Tyler Reks b. Curt Hawkins – Rollup

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Results

Percy Watson b. Johnny Curtis – Persecution

Maxine b. Kaitlyn – Dragon Sleeper

Tyler Reks b. Curt Hawkins – Rollup

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was on my request list for some reason. I’ve done a few shows from around this time lately so maybe it has to do with that. This is a few weeks after Unforgiven so Jericho would be world champion at this point and feuding with Shawn. Other than that I don’t remember a thing about this time so it’ll be interesting to look at. Let’s get to it.

We open with the world title hanging above the ring and a ladder underneath it. Here’s Jericho to some LOUD pyro. Cole says this is the 800th episode. So that’s probably…..WAIT WHAT??? On November 3 of the same year, they would have a big 800th episode celebration with a three hour show. Can’t they even keep their continuity straight for six weeks??? I’m going to have to do every show in the history of Raw to get the right episodes aren’t I?

ANYWAY, Jericho sits on top of the ladder and talks about how Shawn has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. Shawn has claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match and the mindless sheep that the fans are believed him. Just because HBK says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Jericho on the other hand is an honest man. The truth is that he’s won three titles in a ladder match. He’s won more ladder matches than Shawn has ever appeared in.

Jericho says the last thing you’ll see at the PPV is this, and he pulls down the title. Shawn attacked him recently but he came back, because he’s just better than Shawn. Jericho keeps talking and is interrupted by….Randy Orton? Jericho starts to call himself champion but Orton cuts him off. He says that if not for him kicking Punk in the head, Jericho wouldn’t be champion. The ladder match doesn’t mean anything because whoever wins is living on borrowed time.

Jericho asks what’s stopping him from punching Orton right now. Punching Shawn’s wife was an accident but this would be on purpose. Randy is still injured here. Orton has spoken to Mike Adamle and anyone that hits him is suspended immediately. Jericho says get well soon and leaves. Orton says he’ll be champion again and throws the ladder out. Randy goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk gets in his face and slaps him, causing Adamle to come down and suspend him indefinitely.

Now here’s Shane McMahon of all people to dance around on stage in white shoes. Now he dances in the ring a bit. He got a big pop so I can’t complain much here. Apparently he’s here to evaluate Adamle later on. Shane overrules Adamle’s suspension of Punk so Orton yells about that too. The suspension rule is still in effect, but it starts right now. Shane asks Orton to leave and makes Punk vs. Rhodes and Jericho/JBL vs. Batista/Shawn. Shane dances some more and it’s FINALLY over. This segment ran nearly 20 minutes which is WAY too long given what we got out of it.

Cody Rhodes vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start. It’s amazing how much bigger this would be in just a few years. Punk uses his strikes to take over, including a spinning elbow to the face. Cody sends him to the outside but Punk kicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the floor before heading back in with Cody hitting a top rope cross body, rolled through for two. Cody hits a few knees, including a big one in the corner for two.

Punk loads up the GTS but Cody escapes and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody working on the ankle/leg after crotching him during the break. It’s leg lock time as the match slows down. Punk counters that into an ankle lock of all things but Cody makes the rope. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered of course. GTS gets the pin about a second later.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Cody didn’t mean a thing at this point so the match wasn’t going to be anything good. Punk was really just a glorified upper midcard guy at this point so this didn’t mean much of anything. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get the real revenge he was looking for until 2011.

DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi makes the save. He and Punk would win the tag titles very soon.

Smackdown ReBound is about Kozlov attacking Jeff Hardy. He also beat up MVP and HHH.

Adamle complains to Shane about being embarrassed out there. Shane says Adamle is doing fine and that he shouldn’t be worried. Kane comes in and wants Mysterio, and he’ll get him at No Mercy apparently. Kane tells Shane to say hi to Linda for him. He leaves and Shane explains the history between himself and Kane.

A photographer is talking to Kelly when Beth and Santino come up. Santino has a facial injury and Kelly laughed last week, so it’s time for pain tonight. He makes fun of Batista who of course pops up behind him. An awkward staredown ensues.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

We get the Honk-A-Meter prematch but Deuce cuts it off. This is non-title of course. Deuce goes after the injured face and drops a punch for two. Santino rolls him up for the pin out of nowhere. This was like a minute long.

Santino talks about how great Beth is post match.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Evan is an ECW guy at this point and is standing in for Mysterio who is still injured. Bourne fires off a kick to the ribs which gets him nowhere, followed by an enziguri to stagger the monster. A Kane powerbomb is countered and Bourne kicks some more. Bourne keeps trying to keep things moving but Kane gets in a single punch to stop the offense dead in its tracks. A big boot misses and Kane gets caught in the ropes. A moonsault to the floor puts Kane down again and the double knees get two. Kane gets in a single uppercut and begins the total destruction. HUGE chokeslam gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was a lot better than I was expecting from it. Bourne is a guy who is small enough to be able to make you feel sorry for him against a monster like this so the crowd was getting into it. On top of that it plays up the Kane vs. small guys feud which is what they’re going with despite it getting annoying. Fun match.

Rey comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Jamie Noble asks Shane for another match with Regal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and introduces himself and leaves. Orton comes up for another distraction and says overturning the suspension wasn’t cool. Shane says it’s cool and that Orton is getting off easily. Orton threatens him so Shane says he’s a fourth generation McMahon. That means something I guess.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

They set to double team Kelly until Batista makes the save. Santino ACTUALLY HITS Batista. Guess how well that goes.

We recap the feud between the Dirt Sheet and Word Up, Cryme Tyme’s show. They had argued for awhile on their shows, resulting in an AWESOME rap video parody by Miz and Morrison. Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison were hilarious at this point.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG vs. Morrison to start things off. Miz cheats as is his nature but JTG comes back with a spinning clothesline for two. Shad comes in with a huge gorilla press to send Morrison to the floor. Shad throws JTG onto both of them and we take a break. Back with Morrison holding an armbar on JTG which is quickly broken. Off to Miz for more chinlockery as he prevents the hot tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and Shad cleans house. Powerslam gets two on Miz. Delayed release gordbuster puts Miz down but Morrison kicks Shad in the head which lets Miz get the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The problem was that these two were better teams but for some reason neither were tag champions at this point. It’s not that the belts meant anything so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still a pretty stupid miss. Boring match here with the majority of it being spent in chinlocks.

Jericho tries to convince Adamle that Shane is manipulating him. Jericho has an idea but we don’t get to hear it.

We run down the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave and Busters to shill the Mr. Perfect DVD with an imitation. He does the sports bit that Perfect did which is kind of funny.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade

Jericho’s idea was to make it 3-2 and I guess it worked. Shawn and Cade start things off with Shawn destroying him. Cade reverses a whip and JBL adds a right hand to really give Lance an opening. Off to Jericho for a chinlock and an enziguri puts Shawn down. Off to JBL who hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Cade for more of a beating in the corner. Jericho chokes away as this has been one sided for the most part. Bradshaw comes in and they slug it out but JBL kicks him in the face to put him right back down.

It’s JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy if that clears anything up. Shawn jumps into the fallaway slam but he counters into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Batista who cleans house. Spinebuster to Jericho and a powerslam sets up the Shawn elbow. Superkick is countered into a Walls attempt but Shawn rolls him up for two. Everything breaks down and Batista spears JBL outside. Lionsault misses and it’s off to Cade. Forearm puts him down but Jericho’s distraction lets him hit a sitout Rock Bottom to Shawn for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that felt like it belonged at a house show. It wasn’t bad or anything but it just wasn’t interesting. There wasn’t much focus on the JBL vs. Batista match at all and Batista was only in the match for about a minute or so. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it was nothing interesting at all. Nothing really happened and while they pushed No Mercy, this isn’t a show that you would need to see to see No Mercy. Orton was in a weird place here where he was hurt, but it was clear they wanted him to be the #2 heel on the roster. That’s hard to do but they tried hard. It came off as forced though and it didn’t quite work. Pretty meh show.

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 24, 1999
Location: Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,960
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

Back with the fifth episode of this show. We’re past Anarchy Rulz now and the most important thing is that Mike Awesome is the new world champion. Tazz lost the belt because he’s heading to WWF which was a major blow to ECW, especially after losing the Dudleys two weeks earlier. This is around the time I started watching the show infrequently so I’ll probably remember some of this stuff. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey open the show. Joe is like Fred Flintstone because he makes the ladies’ bed rock. Joey invites Dreamer to the ring along with Francine. He asks Dreamer about his bad back but Gertner cuts him off to talk about Francine. She isn’t pure apparently but Joel has a girl in the back that certainly is. That would be Miss Congeniality. She comes out and is pretty clearly a hooker. CATFIGHT! Congeniality came out with Doring and Roadkill and it’s time for a brawl. Since this is ECW, it becomes this.

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The two of them beat up Dreamer to start because there’s no partner. Raven runs in after about 45 seconds and pins Doring with a DDT. The champions leave separately. Congeniality takes a DDT as well.

For those of you unfamiliar, Miss Congeniality is probably better known to you by her other wrestling name: Lita.

Opening sequence.

Dreamer calls out Raven for a fight. Dreamer comes back out but won’t get in the ring.

House show ads.

November 2 Remember ad.

Call the ECW Hotline!

We look at the history of Taz with the world title, starting with him making Shane pass out.

We get a clip from the PPV of Tanaka arriving and being interviewed when Judge Jeff Jones (Awesome’s manager) arrives and yells at Tanaka. Tanaka rams him into the car and walks off.

Post break Heyman is holding Joey back from killing Joel. Joel insults Heyman so Joey has to hold Paul back. Funny, but I have no idea what the point was.

We get highlights from Storm vs. Lynn with Storm scoring the upset. We also see Sabu beat up Justin Credible, only to lose to That’s Incredible.

We see from the beginning of the world title match up until Taz being eliminated. Here’s the pasted part from the PPV review.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz vs. Mike Awesome

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did. That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this.

Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Joey’s voice is messed up so Joel is on his own. They feel each other out to start with Guido hooking a cross armbreaker on the mat. The speed continues and Guido gets thrown into the corner. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sends him to the floor so Crazy hits a hard suicide dive and they go into the crowd. HUGE top rope Asai Moonsault into the people has the crowd screaming like…well like an ECW crowd.

A superplex brings Guido back in and gets two. This has been one sided so far, and that would probably be the sign of Guido’s comeback. Surfboard by Crazy which he shifts into a Dragon Sleeper while the legs are still hooked. Lionsault misses and Guido hooks a sweet seated full nelson into a dragon suplex position for two. He works on the arm a bit and throws Crazy to the floor where Big Sal throws him into the barricade.

Back in for a Fujiwara Armbar, followed by a top rope Fameasser for two. Guido distracts the referee so Sal (weighs about 600lbs) can splash Crazy for two. The beating continues but Crazy grabs a DDT out of nowhere for two. He loads up the three moonsaults but hits knees on the second. Sal comes in again but his powerbomb is countered. A brainbuster pins Guido a second later.

Rating: C+. This was the usual great stuff between any combination of these two and Tajiri. The thing here though is that Tajiri and Crazy actually moved up the card after this, which is something WCW never quite got right. I could have done with a lot less Sal in this, but that goes for almost any Guido match.

Post match Sal jumps Crazy so Spike comes out and beats him up. There’s a three count so this was officially a match but whatever.

House show ad.

Here are Storm and Dawn Marie for a chat. We go to a break before they get in and when we come back, RVD is saying Lynn from an Impact Players beating. Johnny Smith runs in for a 3-2 beating when the lights go out. It’s Sabu of course and the beating is on. Sabu takes out Justin as Lynn makes his comeback.

We cut to the announcers and when we cut back the ring is full of people brawling. I mean there are like 15 guys in there and here’s New Jack for the big beating.

And never mind as it’s back to the announcers with like 2 minutes left to tell us who won the world title at the PPV. It’s Mike Awesome and Taz hands the belt to him. The locker room hugs Taz and that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. What a mess this was. These 20 second “matches” that are out of nowhere are really getting old as they don’t advance anything and are there to pop the live crowd. That’s the opposite of what WCW did, as everything was about the TV crowd. To paraphrase Lance Storm: “You look at the TV camera because there are a few thousand people in the arena and millions on the other side of the camera.” It’s common sense, which is something ECW lacked at times.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 16, 2012
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in England and on taped delay tonight which usually slows things down a lot. From what I can tell, Lesnar won’t be here tonight which is possibly a good thing. If nothing else maybe he can hit the gym tonight for a change. There’s probably going to be a title change of some sort, although not in the Henry vs. Punk match. The main events are usually strong in England though so let’s get to it.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

No intro for Henry. This is No DQ and No Countout due to Punk retaining by both of those means before. Big reaction for Punk on the big match intros. Henry takes him into the corner to start so Punk fires off kicks to the knee. He walks into a kind of spinebuster though and Mark kicks him to the floor. Punk speeds things up and slides back in before diving back out for a suicide dive.

Henry shrugs off some more kicks but Punk gets up a boot to stop a charging challenger. Punk channels his inner Hardy by running the railing but goes much further before hitting a bulldog. He can’t get Henry back in though so he fires off more kicks. Henry grabs the leg and swings Punk into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Punk caught in a neck crank and being run over by a clothesline/shoulder block. Punk rolls outside and grabs a chair for a few shots which get him a two count. Punk charges at him again with the chair but gets kicked down. Now Henry gets the chair and drills it into Punk’s back. He wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but Punk blocks the shot and comes back with kicks in the corner.

Henry runs Punk over again to come back and it’s off to a bearhug. Punk elbows out of it and hits a short DDT for two. Punk goes to the corner but springboards into World’s Strongest Slam position. He jumps out of it though and the high kick puts Henry into the corner. The knee/bulldog combo is countered (duh) but Punk trips him into the wedged chair which knocks Henry out. Punk grabs the chair and goes up, coming off with it like an elbow, Cactus Jack style, good for the pin at 13:12.

Rating: B-. These two have some solid chemistry together. I was wondering how Punk was going to be able to pull this off which is exactly what a match like this is supposed to make me wonder. This worked quite well and I was getting into it at the end. Henry was doing his usual stuff but having someone like Punk in there to keep the fans going made the whole thing work. Good stuff.

Jericho pops up on screen at a bar and says that he’s got a rematch for the title at Extreme Rules in a Chicago street fight. Punk says that’s cool because he’ll take Jericho apart in the streets of Chicago. Jericho says just show up sober and he shows us a clip of Punk going into a pub from earlier in the day. Jericho thinks Punk is drunk right now. Punk says his friends are drinkers and he can go in with them and have some fish and chips. Jericho says Punk sounds like his father and that the straightedge is just a facade now. Punk gets ready to respond but the screen cuts away.

R-Truth is dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and is talking to Little Jimmy Watson when Teddy Long pops up. Truth is going to find him a job. Teddy seems pleased.

Lord Tensai says nothing of note.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

Santino has about 7 British soccer shirts on, finally getting the right one with the British national team one. Quick slam by Otunga gets two and it’s time for clubbing forearms. There’s a three hour Raw next week. Oh and it’s the Draft. Cool. Santino tries his usual drop down but Otunga kicks him in the head. Spinebuster hits but Otunga has to slide all over the place to get in position so that the foot can go on the rope. Santino comes back with his usual stuff and here’s the Cobra, good for the pin at 2:00.

We go to a sitdown interview with Brock. He says he’s not a superstar but a legit destroyer. This is accompanied by highlights of his career on all levels, including him beating Rock. We also get some UFC stills which are still bizarre to see on Raw. Lesnar talks about bringing legitimacy to this company because Cena isn’t the real deal. If Brock had been around for the last eight years, Cena would be carrying his bags. The match at the PPV is an Extreme Rules match.

Zach Ryder vs. Kane

We go to a break during Kane’s entrance and come back to see the Kane attack on the Ortons last week. Ryder gets on the apron and Kane kicks him into the announce table. Kane rams him into the steps and the beating is on. Into the ring and there’s a chokeslam. There was never a bell.

Kane talks about the beating of the Ortons and how it was like father like son.

Kofi is talking to AJ in the back when Bryan pops up to a ROAR. He yells at Kofi for hitting on her and shushes AJ for speaking up. Bryan says he’ll put Kofi in the LeBell Lock but then realizes he’s better than Gene LeBell so it’s now the YES Lock, because that’s what people will be screaming when the referee asks if they give up. Bryan starts a long YES chant in Kofi’s face and keeps doing it until we take a break.

Cena time. Before he talks we see a clip of the Brock beating from last week. Cena finds it interesting that Johnny Ace is always around for these attacks from Brock. Wrestlemania was certainly the end of an era and it might be his own. With Ace becoming the most powerful man in the company, Cena might be in trouble. Ace seems to think that Cena Sucks (said in a great imitation) and that’s a problem.

Ace claims to be legitimizing all of this so he goes and gets Brock Lesnar. After a year of hearing about movie parts and next parts and entertainment, Brock Lesnar stands for destruction. On April 29, it’s not about winning because that’s all Brock has done. The sole purpose of Lesnar at Extreme Rules is to end and replace Cena. Cena doesn’t care because no matter what happens, he’s going to fight.

Here’s Ace who says this is the beginning of the era of People Power. The WWE Universe wants to see Cena fight so tonight Cena will be in an extreme rules match. Next Monday there’s a contract signing between Cena and Brock. The opponent is a mystery because that’s more fun. It doesn’t exactly explain why he told us who Cena’s opponent was in about 10 seconds last week but whatever.

We recap the world title match from earlier and the promo that followed.

Horny is in the back reading a book next to a shelf of CDs and albums when Truth walks through it. Horny tries to go through it but it doesn’t work. Ok then.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is ridiculously over. He takes it to the corner and hits a running dropkick. Bryan keeps control to start and we go to the floor. Bryan misses his running knee so Kofi pops up and hits a HUGE dive off the top as we take a break. Back with Bryan avoiding a charge to send Kofi into the buckle. AJ is watching in the back. More kicks from Daniel set up a chinlock.

Kofi comes back with chops and kicks followed by the jumping clothesline. Boom Drop hits and he loads up Trouble in Paradise. As he claps his hands, the fans chant No. That was cute. Yes Lock is countered into the SOS for two. Kofi sets for the top rope cross body but Bryan comes up for a superplex. Kofi shoves him off but the cross body misses. Yes Lock ends this at 10:31. AJ is smiling a little in the back.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as this is what Kofi is really good for: having good TV matches when you need someone to fill in a spot. Nothing is lost here and Kofi will be right back in this spot again. There’s nothing wrong with that because Kofi isn’t going to be a main event guy anytime soon. Good stuff.

Bryan goes for the Lock again but Sheamus makes the save.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

Well this is some better competition wouldn’t you say? Dolph tries a dropkick but Clay easily suplexes him just after. And here’s Swagger for the DQ at 24 seconds.

Vickie shoves one of the dancing girls down but the other chases her into the ring. Brodus jiggles and Vickie gets shoved down.

Ace and Otunga have a meeting in the back when Eve pops up. She says they were supposed to have a meeting last week but Ace seems puzzled. They go into his office and Otunga follows.

Memorial video for Chief Jay Strongbow. Better late than never.

Little Jimmy has found Teddy a job: GM of Smackdown. He’s perfect because he has experience.

Great Khali/Big Show vs. Primo/Epico

Just scrap the tag titles too if this is th ebest the champions can get. We hear about Rosa and the champs complaining on Twitter lately. Khali and Epico get us going as Abraham Washington (called AW now apparently) is scouting. This goes badly for the champions so it’s off to Primo who gets kicked in the face. The champs try to bail with the titles but Show throws them back in. A pair of chops put them down and double chokeslams end this at 1:54. Oh screw you WWE. Your titles mean nothing and THIS IS WHY.

Package on the show in Moscow.

John Cena vs. ???

It’s Lord Tensai and this is Extreme Rules. Cena grabs a quick suplex but Tensai beats him up. Cena’s shorts look a little shorter here. A corner splash puts Cena on the floor and Tensai puts him into the steps. A powerbomb on the floor is countered and Cena gets the steps. Tensai’s dude drills Cena with kicks and Otunga throws him back in. Butterfly suplex gets two.

Tensai hooks a nerve hold but Cena fights back. Cena hits his usual stuff but when he loads up the Shuffle, Tensai pops up and chops Cena down. Backsplash gets two. Tensai drops a leg on the arm and puts on a Fujiwara Armbar. Sweet goodness there’s some crank on that thing. Cena rolls through into a crossface (called the STF by Cole) and Otunga runs in. There’s an AA for him but Cena walks into green mist and a Baldo Bomb for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, he’s Albert in red trunks. That doesn’t make him interesting or anything like that. It makes him slow and not someone that I want to watch. I don’t see the logic in having Cena lose AGAIN before a major showdown with Brock, but to be fair he can lose a few matches and not lose any credibility.

Cena is blind to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show for the most part and the fact that it was taped didn’t really hurt things that badly. Some of the matches were pretty good and we advanced stuff towards the PPV which is a good thing. They need to flesh out the card a good bit but with three shows left before then that’s certainly possible. I liked this show and it worked pretty well. Good stuff.

Results
CM Punk b. Mark Henry – Chair shot from the top rope
Santino Marella b. David Otunga – Cobra
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Yes Lock
Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Great Khali/Big Show b. Epico/Primo – Chokeslam to Primo
Lord Tensai b. John Cena – Chokebomb

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