Superstars of Wrestling – February 3, 1990: Drinking The Devil’s Armpit Sweat

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: February 3, 1990
Location: Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Tony Schiavone

Ok I promise this is the last Superstars for awhile as even I’m sick of watching it at this point. I wasn’t going to do another one but this is from my birthday so I have to do it. We’re past the Rumble and coming up on Wrestlemania with Warrior challenging Hulk for the title. Other than that it’s too early to know much about it and that match hasn’t been announced yet. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up. It’s nice to see some fresh faces in there.

Roberts vs. DiBiase today, which should be a good one.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Tony Burton

For some reason after Vince and Jesse introduce the show, Tony and Alfred take over on commentary. After Sapphire “dances” to get on my nerves, Dusty pounds away to take over. Hayes talks about all the time that Dusty must spend in the gym. That’s British humor right? Big elbow ends this quick.

Gene talks about how awesome the Rumble was and we see part of Beefcake vs. Genius. Oh this is the post match beating from Perfect.

Perfect says Beefcake’s ribs know not to mess with Perfect.

Beefcake says that was overboard.

Rick Martel vs. Reno Riggins

Martel dropkicks him down and is much more aggressive than I’m used to seeing him. A backbreaker sets up the Boston Crab, which Martel says is for Beefcake.

Jim Duggan vs. Mike Davis

Duggan hits a lot of clotheslines as the announcers talk about about grammar. Davis pulls Duggan to the floor and that doesn’t go well for him. Back in and a slam sets up the Three Point Clothesline.

Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

Jake stole the belt but never beat DiBiase for it. Ted jumps him immediately and ties him in the ropes for a beating. Jake comes back with a hip toss and tries the DDT but Ted bails. Slick is at ringside with DiBiase for some unknown reason. Jake rams him into the corner and escapes a piledriver with a backdrop. Another DDT attempt is countered as is the third try. DiBiase bails to the floor and whispers something to Slick, who leaves. They brawl to the floor and Bossman pops up to hit Jake with the nightstick for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much here but they only had about three minutes to work with, making it understandable that it could only be so good. This would result in a big face turn for Bossman, which was necessary because he was wrestling a style that was going to get cheered eventually. It also set up Wrestlemania.

Actually the face turn is right now. Bossman handcuffs Jake to the ropes and steals Jake’s bag which has the snake and presumably the belt in it. They go to the Brother Love Show where DiBiase says he bought and paid for the belt. DiBiase brags about getting the belt back, but slips up and says he bought the services of Bossman via Slick.

Bossman doesn’t like that at all because he’s not for hire. He was going out to retrieve stolen property, not be a hired gun. DiBiase says give him the belt but Bossman says no one tells him what to do. Ted says Bossman is scared, so Bossman gets in his face and pulls the belt out of the bag. If DiBiase wants it, he can earn it back. So Bossman is aiding in a theft now. He walks back to the ring and uncuffs Jake before handing him the belt.

Canadian Earthquake vs. Mike Justice

Is he related to Sid? That’s the same as the regular Earthquake but at first he was Canadian Earthquake for some reason. Quake knocks him all over the place and drops an elbow before hitting the Earthquake for the pin.

Another Earthquake hits post match and Davis is taken out on a stretcher.

Hogan says he has to know if his power is greater than the Warrior’s. He wants to tie Warrior up and clean his face. You do that Hulk. He issues a challenge to Warrior and swears by the #1 Hulkamaniac “up there”, that if he loses to someone who, and I’m quoting here, “races his Harley next to the devil himself and drinks the sweat from the devil’s armpit”, he’ll striker Warrior down. Your childhood hero ladies and gentlemen.

Warrior accepts….I think.

Powers of Pain vs. Chris Walker/Butch Stanley

Barbarian starts with Stanley and it’s off to Warlord to pick the meat of whatever Barbarian left. Barbarian comes back in and kicks Walker’s head off and what you could call a top rope Hart Attack ends the massacre.

Piper is ready for his cage match with Rude in a week.

Savage rants about Dusty.

The Powers of Pain are ready for Demolition.

Demolition is ready for the Powers of Pain.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great, but we got a big face turn and the beginning of the Ultimate Challenge, so this show has to be worth something. It was nice to see something other than the same guys from 86 all over again too. The squashes get old quickly, but these were fast enough to keep it from being boring.

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No Way Out 2001: Austin’s Best Match Ever? Maybe.

No Way Out 2001
Date: February 25, 2001
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 15, 223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a more or less forgotten show in WWF history which is a shame because it really is a good one. The problem it has is that it’s stuck between a great Rumble and the best PPV of all time. This is most certainly a two match show as there are only two that I remember at all and only two that mean anything. The first is Angle vs. Rock for the title, and I think you know how that’s going to go.

The other match, and the reason I get this requested a lot, is why this show is so popular. It’s Austin vs. HHH in a 2 out of three falls match. The first is a regular match, the second is a street fight and the third is a cage match. This is Austin’s first major one on one match since his neck surgery so we’re really seeing if he’s back. HHH is the guy that was behind his attack so this is a huge revenge match. It’s been called the best match of Austin’s career and there may be something to that. That would include the I Quit match, so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the two matches. At least they’re not pretending to be something they’re not here.

Hardcore Title: Big Show vs. Raven

Raven has the belt and the better music here. He brings his own weapons as was his custom. Raven’s ninja (Tori, a girl, in a black suit) jumps Show on the ramp and it goes nowhere as you would expect. Show is in his one piece women’s swimsuit here and I still hate it. Show misses a splash against the post and is rocked.

Raven jumps on his back which works about as well as every diet Show goes on. The required fire extinguisher is used by the bird man. Ross suggests a blunt object to the head. And now a popcorn vendor is jumping Raven. He looks like Elroy Jetson and Show more or less kills him (It’s Crash). Show beats up Raven and Blackman and Holly come out to beat up Show.

Billy Gunn slips in from behind and messes up a Fameasser on Raven to steal the title. Naturally he sticks around instead of RUNNING, resulting in taking a Sidewinder, which is his old finishing move in the Smoking Guns. Show clears the ring and Raven steals the title back. Crash gets two but a chokeslam onto a trashcan gets the title. Oh and Molly and the Ninja came down and fought too. Show beats Billy up as he leaves for fun.

Rating: C. This wasn’t supposed to be serious and it wasn’t. This was just a fun little match and sequence that was designed to make things comedic. Show vs. Kane vs. Raven would be the Hardcore Title match at Mania and was far better, but it’s a different kind of match. This was fine though.

Angle gets here and is still a happy go lucky jerk who can be awesome in the ring.

Benoit and Eddie are with Lillian. They say only the title matters tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Jericho took the title from Benoit at the Rumble. He also put Pac out with an injury as well as Eddie. So there are your reasons for people to be in there. The Radicalz jump the ring and it’s immediately on. Pac vs. Benoit and Eddie vs. Jericho to start. One fall to a finish here. Everybody gets in the ring and it’s a big slugout.

Benoit and Eddie team up but Benoit tries to steal the win with the Crossface on X-Pac. Jericho takes forever to break it up but just makes it. Frog Splash to Pac for two. Bronco Buster on Benoit doesn’t hit as Jericho kicks his head off. The Radicalz slug it out to a big reaction. Benoit covers Eddie and Jericho covers Pac but both get two.

We get down to Benoit and Jericho for a bit which is probably the most entertaining combination here. Liontamer goes on but Eddie comes in for the save. He winds up in them instead. Ok make that Pac is in them. Justin Credible of all people runs out for the save and Benoit hits a Dragon Suplex for two. Pac and Credible beat up Benoit with a double superkick.

Lionsault gets two on Eddie as Pac gets a low blow and X Factor on Jericho. Very fast paced and exciting stuff here. Crossface on Pac but Eddie with a SWEET running front flip neckbreaker to break it up. Swan Dive to Eddie’s arm and then Benoit gets his head kicked off by Pac. Jericho slides in from nowhere and steals the pin to retain on X-Pac. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. This was great stuff as everyone was flying all over the place and stealing covers and breaking up pins. Jericho coming in to steal the pin made sense as he was probably the most impressive guy out there. It was a great match which was high impact and incredibly fast paced. The guys got to show off and it worked like a charm. Very good match.

HHH is getting taped up for the match.

Regal is with Vince who tells him to do the right thing in the Stephanie vs. Trish match. He has no idea what that is.

We recap Trish vs. Stephanie. This is in the middle of the Vince wants a divorce and Linda is in a sanitarium and Trish is screwing Vince and Stephanie hates Trish and wants to be the top girl in the company angle. I can’t stand those simple and basic angles that are a dime a dozen.

Busta Rhymes is at WWF New York, as is Test. He wants the girls to beat each other to death.

Regal tries to talk to Trish but she has someone to slap.

Stephanie looks AWESOME in her outfit here.

Ad for WWF the Music Volume 5. Wow that sounds forever ago.

Trish Stratus vs. Stephanie McMahon

Trish is curvy with a gorgeous face at this point. She has no talent as far as we know in the ring so Stephanie is probably the ring general in this match. She has the awesome old school HHH music though so I can’t complain. It’s nice to see one of the girls in a t-shirt though instead of their traditional stuff. Spear and a slap fight start us off.

We’re in the crowd in like a minute as this is a big fight. Stephanie dives off the barricade with a big punch to the chest. Granted it’s hard to miss so there we are. Bulldog by Trish but it means nothing yet so it only gets two. They do the smart thing here and don’t try to make this into a wrestling match, opting instead for a fight. Water gets involved, making Lawler freak out.

Trish with wet hair and a wet chest: win. A powerbomb from Stephanie gets two and down come Trish’s shorts for a spanking. Trish in a thong wins also. The girls both go down (lucky) as does the referee. Cue Regal, who puts Trish on top (works for me) but then saves Stephanie from getting pinned since he doesn’t know what the right thing is. Trish slaps him so he takes her down with a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is considering who was in there and the level of their talent. It’s no classic, but considering who was in there, this was AWESOME. They didn’t bother trying to have a match and just beat each other up, which was without a doubt the right way to go. Trish would of course get FAR better, but this was pretty good considering what they had to work with. Regal saving us from the attempt at a finishing sequence was a nice break too.

Vince is mad at Regal for what he just did. Vince/Stephanie vs. Trish/Vince tomorrow, which I think led to the Vince’s Club.

Ad for Mania, which is made of awesome. If you cut it’s arm off and looked down at it, the part that has blood it in would say AWESOME.

We recap HHH vs. Austin, if you need it. In short, HHH paid off Rikishi to run over Austin so he had to take a year off. They hate each other in general also if they need any additional reasons. Like I said, I doubt you need an explanation on this one. If you do, why are you reading this? There was a very clever thing done by HHH: After they signed the contract, Vince had said if they touched each other before No Way Out, Austin would lose his title shot at Mania and HHH would be suspended for six months. Austin signed and HHH blasted him. Vince said what are you doing? HHH only signed the first H. Austin beat up Stephanie and HHH beat up JR the previous week.

Cole, with his stupid blonde highlights, gets a blank stare from Austin.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

First is a regular match, second is street fight, third is cage. MASSIVE pop for Austin, but the crowd has been white hot all night. I’m surprised that this is in the middle of the card but you know it’s going to get some time. Maybe they want to do this so the crowd isn’t spent at the end? Naturally it’s a slugfest to start. Mudhole is stomped 30 seconds in. Big old AUSTIN chant as he dominates early on.

Modified hot shot to take down Austin though as this is fast paced for the most part. Pedigree is blocked into a DDT on the arm which I need to learn the name of. We head to the floor as Austin works the arm. This is a regular match but Austin ramming HHH’s arm into a post about 6 times is perfectly fine? HHH can’t do the Pedigree because of his arm, which is SELLING! Simply shaking your arm is passable, but having it prevent you from doing your moves is SELLING.

Thesz Press and Austin is dominant so far. HHH gets his foot up when Austin is coming off the ropes, but for once Austin actually has his arms up to look like he’s doing a move. I hate when people just jump into it for the sake of jumping into it. Neckbreaker takes HHH down but it doesn’t do much due to the weak arm.

HHH goes after the knee which is Austin’s weak point as well. He goes for the leg into the post thing but Austin counters and HHH and the nose of doom hit the post. Back to the knee as HHH takes over with a figure four. Austin gets out and does a nice move where he gets HHH n the mat and beats on him with his leg. Cooler than it sounds. Thesz Press and the elbow get two.

Everyone counters everything and we slug it out. HHH gets a kick to the knee and goes to the middle rope. He jumps into the boot though and Austin hits the Stunner for the completely clean pinfall.

No rest period between falls and we’re right back at it again. It’s a street fight now and we hit the floor. Austin’s knee is ok I guess as he hits some suplexes on the floor. Monitor connects with HHH’s head and apparently it’s broken. Naturally we head into the crowd and it’s all Austin. Back in the ring and Austin destroys HHH Rock-Style with a chair.

After nearly murdering HHH we head back to the floor where Austin finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire for no apparent reason. A low blows allows HHH to blast him in the face with it though and Austin is bleeding. HHH sets for the Pedigree on the table but Austin counters and sends him through the other table which EXPLODES. Awesome stuff so far if you can’t tell.

Back in the ring a bell shot (Austin brought it in earlier) gets two for HHH. This is a war with both guys hitting all these big shots out of desperation. Back to the neck with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two. Backdrop by Austin sends HHH free falling over the top. Cool looking drop. More weapons stuff on the floor but the intensity and selling is making it work.

You can barely hear Lawler here as his mic is messed up or something. HHH finds a sledgehammer and Lawler accuses JR for putting it there. Back in the ring again and a Stunner is blocked by a sledgehammer shot to Austin’s head. Pedigree follows that and thankfully that ties us up at 1-1. I would have rolled my eyes very heavily if Austin had kicked out of that.

The cage is lowered as we get a quick break. It’s been about 30 minutes so far and nothing but awesome. Austin is more or less dead and eats the cage again. HHH gets the barbed wire 2×4 and rips Austin’s face open a bit more with it. The sledgehammer and at least one chair are also in there with them. Make that two chairs, one of which saves Austin as he blasts HHH in the head with it.

HHH gets it in the face (I would have thought that would have been Stephanie but whatever) for a long time but gets a DDT out of desperation onto the chair but it only gets two. The crowd is a bit silent but it’s pretty clear that the fans know nothing is going to end without something huge. Austin comes back and goes OFF on HHH who just collapses face first out of the corner.

Game tries to bale but he Austin makes two saves, culminating with an old school slam off the top rope. Stunner is blocked but the Pedigree hits for TWO. The place erupts on the kickout and HHH is shocked. Another is blocked and HHH gets hit with a slingshot into the cage. Stunner hits and both guys are out. After the break Austin covers for two as this is awesome. HHH gets the hammer and Austin gets the 2×4. Both swing with everything they’ve got and connect, but HHH falls on Austin for the pin. I think I need a cigarette.

Rating: A+. Without question, this is awesome. Any of the three falls is great to say the least and the ending was perfect. Both guys are protected but not in a way that makes it look like they’re being protected. HHH got lucky and won it, as Lawler says that it’s not fair to say either guy really won. Just an absolute WAR with these two beating the living tar out of each other and making the crowd love every minute of it. With 40 minutes of these two beating each other to death, how is it not a perfect match?

Austin stuns HHH afterwards for fun.

On Smackdown, the RTC tried to beat up Kat so Lawler made the save, setting up a match tonight.

Stevie gives the RTC a pep talk.

Kat has a shirt on and nothing else. She wanted to be allowed to wear less than that on TV.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to be naked. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

We recap the tag title stuff which is another three way feud. Edge and Christian gave Kane a Conchairto on Monday night.

Taker says a lot of basic stuff.

Chyna’s book is popular. Random to say the least.

Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boyz

This is a tables match but not elimination style. Uh sure. The Brothers go after Edge and Christian in the aisle but stop when the Dudleys come out and corner them. Dudleys are champions here. The Canadians hide and it’s on early. It’s a massive brawl of course. Tazz is still on commentary here. The table HHH went through is still just in pieces on the floor which is funny for some reason as it always is.

The Dudleys are down and the Brothers beat up the Canadians. The champs make the save from a double powerbomb but Bubba slips on a chair and falls on his back. For the first time we get in the ring and Bubba gets his crotch stepped on. What’s up to Edge makes up for that though. This is just a big mess of course but it’s fun. Taker and Kane stop the getting of tables and Christian hits Unprettier on Bubba in the ring.

Stereo powerslams by the big men and then they both go up. Taker goes airborne which isn’t something you see that often really. We get some near endings but a bunch of saves are made including a low blow to Taker. A pair of chokeslams hit but there aren’t any tables. The Dudleys get chokeslammed too and the Brothers stand very tall.

They set for stereo powerbombs but Rikishi and Haku waddle down to stop it and brawl with the monsters. Have we ever had a generation without an evil Samoan team? For some reason Vince thought these Samoans would be a good choice for a team, even though Haku wasn’t Samoan. The monsters all go up the ramp to tick off the crowd. 3D on Christian ends it.

Rating: C+. Just a fun match here but somehow this was supposed to set up monsters vs. monsters, even though the ethnic monsters were gone very soon. This wasn’t much but it definitely wasn’t bad. The constant double teaming got pretty stupid after awhile but it wasn’t horrible. Passable match for what it was, but with TLC 2 next month, it’s hard to stay underwhelmed.

We recap Rock vs. Angle. Rock beat Big Show to get the shot. That’s it. Rock says tick tock a lot also.

Rock says the same stuff we heard in the video package.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

It’s pretty much one sided as to who is going to win here and even Ross and Tazz acknowledge it. Long staredown to start and we’re on. The straps are down before we even start as we hear about him using some hold called an ankle lock. Rock hits a jumping Russian leg sweep for two. Ankle lock goes on about a minute in but Rock makes the ropes. These two always have had good chemistry together so this should be solid stuff.

A pair of belly to bellies but Rock almost gets dropped on his head the first time. He clearly tucks his head more on the second one so at least he can learn on the fly. Sharpshooter goes on and Angle is in trouble. This is very fast paced so far. A belly to back suplex from Kurt but he didn’t spin slightly so it’s not the Angle Slam. Second rope suplex gets two for Rock.

I’m not sure if I like Rock’s DDT or not. He does it oddly for some reason. And here’s Big Show for no apparent reason. Chokeslams for everyone including the referee. Show’s music plays him out as I expect us to cut to a commercial or something. Angle covers Rock but there’s no referee. He pops Angle with the title as there’s another referee. What a heelish thing to do but Angle gets up anyway.

Ankle lock out of nowhere and Angle drops some nice cursing in there. Rock gets the counter and initiates his ending sequence. The elbow gets two to a huge reaction as everyone thought it was over. Rock Bottom is blocked and there’s the Olympic Slam for two and a freaking ROAR. Rock starts his punches but Angle kicks him in the ankle in a nice counter.

Angle gets rammed into the buckle chest first and walks into the Rock Bottom for….two? Angle did not move at all and the announcers sound very confused. The referee seemingly just stopped counting instead of doing the three. Either that was a botch or there’s something I’m missing here. The fans boo the heck out of it as Rock picks him up and hits another Rock Bottom for the clean pin. That had to be a botch on the first one.

Rating: B. Solid match here, but the Big Show thing was just totally pointless. The ending was just weird though as that had to be a botch though as it just made no sense at all. These two always worked well together and this was no exception. Solid match and definitely worthy of a main event on a PPV.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show with two great matches and only one that wasn’t much, which was 5 minutes long. This was one of the best periods for the company and you can see why right here. They know they’re on top of the world and all roads lead to Houston and Wrestlemania, which is the undisputed crowning moment for the company. Great show and highly worth checking out from top to bottom.

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Superstars of Wrestling – October 4, 1986: Weakest Show Yet

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7000
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

Back with the last episode of this series that I have at the moment, although that’s likely to change. With Superstars there isn’t much you can predict as far as matches, but I would expect something more from Piper vs. Adonis which is the top angle on the show at the moment. There’s also supposed to be an interview with Hogan which should be good. Let’s get to it.

Intro and whatnot.

Randy Barber vs. Koko B. Ware

An inset promo from Koko tells us that his bird is named Frankie. Jesse wants a jump off between Koko and Brunzell. Koko throws him around for awhile and hits some dropkicks and a neckbreaker before the Ghostbuster (brainbuster) gets the pin.

Video of Hillbilly Jim singing a song I believe at the reception for Uncle Elmer’s wedding.

Sika vs. Mario Mancini

I’ve heard of Mancini I think. Sika chops him down and chokes to start and we get a chinlock in a squash match. I don’t recall seeing that before. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside the Samoan Drop finishes this.

Tito is ready for his match with Race tonight in Boston. Why does Race wear that ovrcoat when it’s hot out?

Ron Shaw vs. Honky Tonk Man

This is Honky’s TV debut. Vince actually calls him Wayne Ferris. Honky is in suspenders stil here. Mr. Fuji doesn’t wank Honky’s greasy hands on his tuxedo. Honky works on the arm to start but Shaw gets in a thumb to the eye. Honky rams him into the buckle but Shaw comes back. He beats on Honky for a bit until Honky slams him down and the middle rope fist (which isn’t like his cousin AT ALL right?) gets the pin. Honky was light years better as a heel.

Savage says he’ll go to a different galazy tonight and says the gimmick is No DQ. Holy cocaine promo Batman.

Paul Orndorff vs. Dan Haskins

The stolen music continues. Orndorff says the music is his now and not Hogan’s anymore. Paul gives him a clean break to start but the second time he hits him in the ribs. Out to the floor for a slam as Heenan praises things on. Clothesline, piledriver, see ya.

We see Piper, in his trunks for some reason, in the back yelling while on a crutch and holding a ball bat. He goes psycho and DESTROYS the Flower Shop with the bat, falling over from swinging so far.

Dan McGuire vs. Randy Savage

Billy Graham wants the Intercontinental Championship Belt “of the entire universe”. Savage sends him to the floor and rams him into the barricade with an ax handle off the top. Slam and elbow finish this quick.

Jesse talks to Hogan who is wearing a Harley-Davidson bandana. Hulk doesn’t think much of Orndorff and doesn’t think he’s a real American. There’s a birther joke in there somewhere.

Moondogs vs. Killer Bees

Blair and Rex start us off and Vince calls a clothesline a necktie for some reason. Both Moondogs get slammed and it’s off to Spot vs. Brunzell. Brunzell gets in trouble for a good ten seconds before hitting his dropkick and an enziguri and tagging Blair back in. Blair cleans house and Rex hits Spot so Blair can pin him. The Moondogs argue post match.

The Machines say everything they’ve been saying for the last few weeks.

Overall Rating: D+. This was pretty boring here with nothing interesting on the whole show. The Piper scene was cool, if nothing else because of his swearing, but as a whole this was one of the weaker shows I can remember in a long time. The problem is nothing really happened until January so this was kind of a weak time. Bad show for the most part.

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Superstars of Wrestling – September 27, 1986: Piper’s Gonna Kill You

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: September 27, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7000
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

Back for another episode in this series and the main attraction this week is the debate/likely fight between the Flower Shop of Adrian Adonis and Piper’s Pit of Roddy Piper. Other than that I wouldn’t expect much more than a bunch of squashes, but at least they’re short and get things done with quickly. Let’s get to it.

Usual opening stuff.

Harley Race vs. Mike Kelly

Kelly would once again be Shane Douglas. That’s the good thing about jobbers: no one cares enough to remember their faces. Race beats him up like Shane is some loudmouthed guy that had one famous moment and was then made into some kind of hero in a glorified indy company because he threw down a title that didn’t mean anything and has tried to make a career out of that for almost twenty years since because he simply wasn’t good enough to make it big anywhere else but a dying WCW who would take ANYBODY. Fisherman’s suplex ends this quick.

Ricky Steamboat is in Hawaii. Fighting ninjas. Yeah that’s what he’s doing alright. This is really campy as the ninjas are in full fledged ninja gear and look about as effective as Foot Soldiers from TMNT 2.

Billy Graham talks about his big return tonight. He and Jesse have a bit of an argument about who influenced who.

Bob Bradley vs. Billy Graham

What is with this Bradley guy? I’ve never seen him before and then he’s in three of the four shows I do. This is Graham’s first WWF match in three years after going to the NWA for awhile and becoming a karate master. Vince freaks when Graham takes his shirt off, shocking no one. It’s a former world champion’s first match in three years. What do you think is going to happen here? Bearhug ends it in less than a minute and a half. Graham wouldn’t have another WWF match for almost a year.

Heenan’s team isn’t worried about the Machines.

Tony Parks vs. Kamala

I don’t see this going well for Parks. Maybe we can get Joseph to help him? The Wizard talks about Kamala wanting Hogan. The announcers debate why Kamala beats on his stomach as the beating begins. Vince asks why someone like Parks would sign on for a match like this. That’s a really good question. Shouldn’t you hold out for a lower level opponent? A top rope splash finishes the murder.

Boston house show ad which we’ve heard about for almost a month now. Tito says he’s going to take care of Race and says a lot of stuff in Spanish.

Time for the Pit vs. Shop. Piper gets a big ovation and Adonis is booed out of the arena. His guest is Bob Orton who thinks Adonis’ show is better. Piper walks onto the set of the Flower Shop and goes off on Orton, saying that he was nothing without Piper. Piper says Orton sold out and tells the cameraman to come to the Pit which gets a big ovation. His guest is Muraco who can’t remember the name of the show he’s on. He was the guest host of the Body Shop in Ventura’s absence.

Adonis comes over to keep arguing but gets sent away by Piper. Muraco doesn’t like the kilt and Adonis comes back to talk about flowers some more. Piper gives him some underwear and Muraco yells about not getting enough attention. He says this is a cartoon. I think he’s got the wrong studio. Hulk Hogan’s Rock N Wrestling is down the street. Muraco yells about how much better Adonis’ show is so Piper calls him fatso. It finally gets to the violence with Adonis breaking a flower pot over his head and beating on Piper’s bad leg with a chair. They destroy the set and cover Piper’s face with lipstick. Great beatdown.

Slick says he has a surprise for us.

William Tabb vs. Butch Reed

Here’s the surprise. The shoulder block and a gutbuster get the pin in about a minute.

Tito Santana vs. Jimmy Jack Funk

Tito takes him down with the armdrags and into an armbar to start. Vince points out that Miguel Alonzo and Pedro Morales are doing Spanish commentary. Alonzo died about two days before this was written so his name is in my head somewhat. Dropkick puts Funk on the apron but he comes back with a shot to the ribs to take over. Funk stands on his throat then hits a neckbreaker for two. Tito suplexes out of the second attempt at one and pounds Funk down so that the figure four can end it.

Rating: C+. For a three and a half minute match, this was really pretty entertaining. We had a nice back and forth match here with Tito getting a win after he had to work for it a bit. That’s probably too high of a rating but given how little we get on this show that can be rated, it’s hard to not overrated it.

Boston stuff, this time with the Machines saying they’re not worried about Piper’s injury. Steele pops in and says Animal Rules vs. Savage. He means No DQ. The match wound up being like four minutes.

Some wrestlers try to get Piper medical attention but he goes psycho and won’t let them.

The announcers wrap it up and we’re done.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the more entertaining shows that they’ve had in awhile. We got a big angle with Piper vs. Adonis which would be a very fun one indeed. Other than that the matches were ok with the debut of Reed and a decent main event. For Superstars, that’s a pretty good show.

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Botchspot.com – That’s Not Me

I have no idea what this site is but it popped up as someone linking to me. I checked it out and someone there is using the name klunderbunker and listing this as their home page. That IS NOT ME. I don’t know who they are, nor have I ever heard of that site, but I didn’t write those homophobic comments on there. Sorry if there was any confusion.

KB




Superstars Of Wrestling – September 13, 1986: With Savage, The Bulldogs, Shane Douglas And Mick Foley

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: September 13, 1986
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

From what I can tell, this is the second ever episode of this show. Hopefully I can find the debut eventually but for now this is what you get. I have a few more from this era which I’ll do in a row here. This is during the Hogan vs. Orndorff feud which will probably be talked about a lot on here. I’m not sure about what else you’ll see here but let’s get to it.

Intro and preview as usual. Well, as usual as you can get for the second show.

Paul Orndorff vs. Sivi Afi

Orndorff is more or less the top heel in the company and in a pretty brilliant heel move, he comes out to Real American. Why has no one ever used that in a feud since? Stealing someone’s music could be seen as a pretty big heel move. Could it be that 90% of the songs today are completely interchangeable? He even holds his hand to his ear. Jesse had said that the REAL Orndorff would come out eventually and that’s what’s going on here.

An inset interview from Orndorff has him laughing about the idea of being sorry for what he did to Hulk. We get some clips of Paul beating Hulk down during the feeling out process. Short and sweet, but they hardly ever happen anymore. Orndorff cheats to start but Afi rams the head into the buckle. And never mind as a knee to the face puts him right back down. Afi makes a comeback and goes up but his cross body misses. Clothesline sets up the piledriver for the pin. Short and about what you would expect.

We see Harley Race’s coronation as King.

Sika vs. Don Driggers

Sika is returning to the company here and has King Curtis as a manager. Curtis goes for the wild ones I guess. We get the inset of Curtis yelling about how great Sika is. Sika rakes his eyes over the face of Driggers then cranks on the neck a bit. Samoan Drop completes the squash.

Randy Savage is ready for his No DQ title defense in whatever city it is against George Steele. It’s in Boston and he doesn’t like Tunney putting him in there, because it’s a disgrace.

Islanders vs. Moondogs

I think the Islanders are faces here. Yep they certainly are. Here’s it’s Tonga Kid (Tama) and King Tonga (Haku) vs. Spot and Rex. Rex and Haku start and not much happens so here’s a double tag. Honky Tonk Man has an inset interview about Paul Orndorff for some reason. Honky talking about Hulk Hogan as his good friend is bizarre. The Moondogs take over on Tonga Kid but heel miscommunication allows for a tag to Haku. He rams the Moondogs together and a superkick sets up a top rope splash by Tama for the pin.

Heenan and Race are ready for Piper and Santana respectively. And cut, so sayeth the director.

Randy Savage vs. Troy Martin

Martin would be the real name of a brand new kid named Shane Douglas. His training partner is in the main event. Savage takes him to the mat and rides him around with ease. Pedro Morales thinks Savage is a bad champion. Martin gets a small package for two, so Savage throws him to the floor and drops the double ax on him. Troy gets thrown into the crowd for a bit and then goes back in for an ax handle and the elbow for the pin.

Time for the return of Piper’s Pit, which is back after being replaced by the Flower Shop for a few weeks. The guest is Ken Resnick, the backstage interview. Before he can talk though, Adonis comes in and says Piper’s time is over. Adonis is now and in two weeks, it’s Flower Shop vs. Piper’s Pit in a debate.

The Machines vs. Rick Hunter/JJ Jackson/Al Navarro

The Machines are a long story but it’s Ax, Blackjack Lanza and Andre under masks and pretending to be Japanese. I think Lanza starts with whichever jobber you want to pick. Ax comes in for some pounding before Andre is in, punches whichever jobber that is and it’s over. It lasted like a minute and a half.

Jack Foley/Les Thornton vs. British Bulldogs

This would be the main event I mentioned earlier, and that would be none other than Mick Foley as one of the jobbers. He looks like he weighs about 200 pounds here but the face is almost the same. The Bulldogs are tag champions. Thornton and Smith get us going with Les trying a test of strength for some reason, resulting in a nice sequence of them going back and forth for control.

Jimmy Hart talks for awhile and it’s off to Foley and Kid. Dynamite beats the tar out of him with suplexes and a headbutt. Off to Davey for the powerslam and suplex. Foley even gets in a little offense, but when he back elbows Davey, it’s Foley that goes down. That’s a new one. Kid comes back in and hits a clothesline with so much force that Foley said he couldn’t eat solid food for a week. Smith hits a belly to back off the middle rope for the pin. Foley is dead.

Rating: C-. For a squash, this was pretty hard hitting and brutal. I can’t remember where I read it but I seem to recall hearing about Foley accidentally disrespecting the Bulldogs and them taking it out on him in the ring for it. Based on the match I’d buy that because he took a BEATING. Cool to see for history’s sake though.

The Machines say they’re going to enjoy teaming with Piper Machine. George Steele pops in and is looking forward to a No DQ match with Savage.

The usual stuff ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this show better than last week’s, partially because of better star power this week. Seeing Savage and the Bulldogs in there is a rare treat and it’s cool to see the more famous guys getting in there as total rookies. I don’t have the third episode so I’ll have to skip the 9/20 episode, which is cool because the Pit vs. Flower Shop debate is on the 9/27 edition.

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Superstars of Wrestling – It’s The Debut Episode And…..That’s About It!

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: September 6, 1986
Location; Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

So I was going to do the September 13 episode when I found out that it was the second episode of the series. This would be during Hogan vs. Orndorff in what was an absolutely huge feud and indirectly led into Hogan vs. Andre the following year. I’d expect a lot of squash matches here which is what Superstars was known for as it replaced Championship Wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with an opening. There’s a good idea.

The announcers run down the people on the card tonight.

Ricky Steamboat/Sivi Afi vs. Roger Kirby/Terry Gibbs

The heels try to jump Steamboat and Afi but are quickly atomic dropped to the floor. Steamboat starts with Gibbs but it’s quickly off to Kirby. Now it’s quickly back to Ricky. Gibbs manages an elbow to take Afi down and the heels pound on Afi in the corner. A headbutt from Kirby puts him down but gets rolled up for two to stop the momentum. There’s the hot tag to Steamboat and house is cleaned. He suplexes Kirby down and Afi hits a top rope splash for the pin. Short but not half bad.

Video on Billy Graham training, set to Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. Graham, with a freaking tarantula crawling over his face, says he’s coming for Studd and Bundy.

Hart Foundation vs. Koko B. Ware/Paul Roma

This is Koko’s debut. It’s also Ventura’s first appearance since Wrestlemania too. Neidhart and Koko start things off and Koko armdrags him down. Off to Roma who doesn’t have as much luck because he isn’t that good. Bret, who is that good, comes in and pounds him down with ease. Ventura praises him and we get an inset promo from Koko who has nothing to say. While he’s talking the Hart Attack pins Roma. Vince calls it bad officiating but it seemed fine to me.

Koko saves Roma from a beating post match.

MSG house show ad. The Machines, including Hulk Machine, are ready for Heenan and his boys. Hogan trying to sound Japanese is borderline offensive and I’m not even Japanese.

Honky Tonk Man is coming and he wants to beat up Paul Orndorff. He was a face when he debuted until the fans were actually asked if they would give him a vote of confidence. In other words, the fans decided if he was a face or a heel. Now there’s something different.

Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty vs. Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke

Luke isn’t that good but he furthered the hillbilly gimmick for Jim. Jim and Shaw start us off and the Hillbilly throws him around for a bit before it’s off to Luke. Luke doesn’t do that well so Jim comes in and mauls them both, finishing Doherty with the bearhug. Total squash.

Meadowlands house show ad. Heenan isn’t worried about Steamboat because he has Mr. Wonderful ready. Orndorff knows what a monkey wrench is, and just like Steamboat’s martial arts, that won’t mean a thing.

Kamala vs. Tommy Sharpe

This is Kamala’s return apparently. Kamala’s manager King Curtis tells us about how great Kamala is. Sharpe gets in more offense than you would expect here, but at the end of the day he’s a jobber and Kamala is a returning monster. The big splash ends this in about two minutes.

Time for the Flower Shop with Adrian Adonis which replaced Piper’s Pit and set up a great angle between the hosts. Piper is the guest and he’s still on a cane due to the knee injury he suffered earlier in the knee. He says he’s not here tonight to fight (despite implying Adonis is female) but he does have a letter. They’re the ratings for the segments on WWF TV, and apparently the Flower Shop is killing them. He gives Jimmy Hart another letter which says that the Flower Shop will be canceled next week so that Piper’s Pit can return. Adrian freaks and it’s on next week.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Mike Fever/Bob Bradley

Bradley was in the last show I reviewed and it was the only time I had ever heard of him. I love little things like that. The Rougeaus aren’t fabulous yet but they take Bradley apart to get things going. We listen to some French commentary for no apparent reason. Total dominance again with Ray getting the pin after the Cannonball that the Quebecers would use as their finisher years later.

We get a clip from a previous Flower Shop where Heenan tries to prove that one of the Machines is Andre the Giant but they keep switching places to confuse him.

Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Corporal Kirschner/SD Jones

The Corporal and Studd start us off with the Corporal hitting and moving. He pounds on Studd and goes for a slam but Bundy breaks it up. Bundy comes in and uses fat man offense but it’s back to Studd quickly. Jones comes in and it’s Wrestlemania all over again. The Avalanche gets the quick pin. Literal squash. Even Vince says this match wasn’t that good.

Another MSG ad. Harley Race says that Tito Santana is in way over his head.

Vince tells us what’s coming next week and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. For a debut episode this was pretty forgettable, but back then it wouldn’t have been seen as all that bad. The idea here was to pump up the house shows so on that front, it did pretty well. It’s hard to criticize these shows because they’re not meant to be some masterpiece and a show that’s going to get you to watch next week like Raw is today. It wasn’t that bad and at 45 minutes, how can I really complain?

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WWF New York City House Show – October 17, 1983: Do You Want To See A Man Fly?

WWF House Show
Date: October 17, 1983
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson

Now this is a very interesting one. I saw the show on youtube and absolutely had to do it. The card itself doesn’t mean much as this is during the very tail end of Backlund’s time with the title (he’s defending against Masked Superstar, which is Ax from Demolition) tonight, but there’s another match which we’ll get to in a bit that I’m watching this for. Let’s get to it.

Rene Goulet vs. Tony Garea

Well Garea is awesome at least. Rene gets chased to the apron where he puts on some sort of glove. This is all before the bell apparently. They lock up and Rene climbs up the ropes to escape. Rene gets on Garea’s nerves so Tony punches him into the corner. Goulet bails for a bit and grabs a top wristlock. It’s pretty clear they have a decent amount of time for the match too because this hold goes on for several minutes.

Gorilla and Pat talk about who the Masked Superstar is because there’s no point to talking about this match. Garea comes back with one of his own which gets him nowhere as Goulet pulls the hair. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all. Goulet stomps on him a bit and this is going nowhere. He rams Tony into the corner a few times and it’s bearhug time.

Goulet finally goes for his Claw but Garea gets all fired up and starts his comeback. He firest off some right hands and a dropkick followed by an atomic drop. Goulet, being French, sells that in an over the top way that Honky Tonk Man would be proud of. That only gets two but a sunset flip gets Tony the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a very good match or anything but it got the crowd going. This is what someone like Garea was great at: throw him out there, let him get beaten up, and have the crowd get fired up for his comeback. Garea is one of those guys where the more I see of him the more I like him, so this wasn’t too bad. I never remember Goulet winning a match.

SD Jones vs. Tiger Chung Lee

Lee has Blassie with him and Jones is coming back off an injury. They fight over arm control which is won by Jones but Lee takes him to the mat and works on the knee. Apparently Blassie, the manager of Lee, didn’t come out to watch. If I were Lee I’d try to get traded for two jobbers to be named later. Jones headbutts him down and it’s time to dance!

Lee chops him down and puts on the nerve hold. Make that a chinlock. Jones spins around to set up a clothesline but Lee runs him over with a shoulder. Back to the chinlock as Gorilla says raw fish wouldn’t turn him on. I don’t think I ever need that image in my head again. Jones comes back with a backdrop and a headbutt for two. Lee runs him over again but gets slammed off the top for two. After Jones no sells a thumb to the eye (how do you do that?) an enziguri pins him.

Rating: D. Really boring match here as it was mainly punching and kicking with a chinlock thrown in. Lee was your usual evil Japanese heel and Jones was popular for some reason that I never got. There were far better generic strong black guys to cheer for but this guy kept sticking around the card. Bad match.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ivan Putski

Slaughter is EVIL. LONG stall to start as Slaughter doesn’t want to lock up with him. After about two minutes they lock up and Putski uses one of his signature moves: a headlock. It’s not an 80’s thing. It would still be boring by any standards. We’re three and a half minutes into this and we’ve had a headlock as our entire offense. Putski runs him over and puts on a chinlock. This is going to be really dull isn’t it?

Slaughter gets rammed into the post and Putski is in full control. Sarge finally hits an atomic drop but hurts his own knee on it. He manages to come off the middle rope but that leg is bothering him. This has to be legit as there’s no reason for him to sell like this. Slaughter “charges” at him in the corner but hits the post again head first. He manages to hook the Cobra Clutch but Putski makes the rope. Ivan comes back with a bunch of right hands….and one hits the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. A lot of this was because of the knee injury as it would seem they went home early. That being said, the stuff before the injury was really bad with the vast majority of it being a headlock and punches. The early 80s were never really know for workrate and you can see that here very clearly. Putski just wasn’t that good.

Mike Sharpe vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. Before he became an OCD jobber, Sharpe was an OCD midcard heel. Tito grabs a fast hammerlock and Sharpe makes the ropes, which he protests for some reason. They do it again and Santana takes him to the mat which is broken up by the referee. Even Gorilla calls him stupid for that, so you know it was bad. Sharpe adjusts his forearm pad and hits Tito with it, making it cause much more damage.

Santana doesn’t seem to care as he hits a few monkey flips and stomps away in the corner. Sharpe chills on the floor for a bit but walks right back into an armbar. You can tell they’ve got a lot of time to work with here. Sharpe tries about a half dozen counters but Tito will never let go of the hold. He finally gets the rope after about three minutes in the hold. See what I mean by them taking their time?

Sharpe comes back with right hands and right boots to put Tito down. A quick sunset flip gets two for Tito and a straight right hand puts Sharpe down. He misses a charge though and things slow down. Small package gets two but Sharpe gets his foot on the ropes. Off to a chinlock which Tito can’t quite break. After a few minutes in that he guillotines Tito over the top rope. They collide to put both guys down. To the fans’ credit they’re staying in this, despite the match being pretty dull so far. Sharpe misses an elbow and Tito drops a knee for two as the bell rings for the time limit at about 17 minutes which is called 20.

Rating: C-. This was ok but it’s more long than good. There was a lot of laying around and rest holds which get annoying very quickly. Tito kept things fast paced when he was in control though and the fans ate him up so the match wasn’t really terrible or anything. Santana was always good but he needed something better to work with.

Santana chases him off post match.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition so there’s a chance I’ll call him Ax from time to time. They go to the mat quickly and Backlund is more than fine with that. Backlund takes him back down again with a headlock. Superstar runs him over and tries another headlock on the mat but Bob breaks that up with ease. We hear about Eddie Gilbert being injured by Superstar, which is a show I’ve actually seen.

The champion controls with a headscissors on the mat to frustrate the big guy. Now it’s an armbar as Backlund is picking him apart with whatever body part he cares to work on at the moment. For some reason Superstar keeps trying amateur stuff on Backlund and it fails more and more each time.

Backlund runs over the bigger guy and we get a botched sequence as Superstar tries what looked like a cross body but Backlund didn’t drop at first. It looked like Superstar was trying a jumping tornado DDT but since the regular version didn’t exist yet, he fell on Backlund after spinning around a bit. Really bad looking move but it’s more on Backlund than Superstar, which is rare to see from him.

They slug it out a bit and Backlund goes right back to the arm to keep control. This time it’s a hammerlock so at least he’s mixing things up somewhat. We’re almost ten minutes into this and about six of those have been arm work. Superstar knocks him to the floor to get his first I guess you would say advantage of the match. Backlund finally gets back in and a high knee to the shoulder (supposed to be the face) gets two.

Time for a chinlock as Superstar isn’t much for offense I guess. Backlund fights out of it with punches as this becomes a slugout. Flying headbutt gets two for Superstar. Another attempt at it hits the mat though and Backlund is getting all fired up. He pounds on the arm and tries the chickenwing but Superstar makes the rope very quickly. A clothesline sets up Superstar’s neckbreaker finisher but he won’t cover. Instead he takes Backlund outside and hits the neckbreaker out there which gives him the countout win.

Rating: C. This was basically a Backlund squash for the first ten minutes and then a pretty uninteresting match for the remaining five minutes. Superstar didn’t really do anything until the end with the neckbreaker, which goes to show you how devastating any move can be if it’s sold right. Why he wouldn’t go for the cover is beyond me but whatever.

Post match Backlund comes back in and beats up Superstar, making the neckbreaker seem like a pretty weak move.

Backlund says he knows what he’s facing in Masked Superstar now and he’s ready for him next time. Backlund plays a good psycho.

Bob Bradley vs. Mike Graham

No idea who Bradley is but he’s built well. Graham is the son of Florida promoter Eddie Graham and is okish in the ring. He hooks on an armbar after working Bradley on the mat for a bit. Really uninteresting match here as it’s pure filler between the world title match and the next one which is the feature match of the night. Bradley tries to control him but Graham is too fast for him. A German suplex gets a fast pin for Mike.

Rating: D. Like I said, not an interesting match at all and there’s nothing much else to say about it. Graham never was that good but if you needed a placeholder for a quick match like this one he was ok. I’ve never heard of Bradley but he’s a muscular guy so you can probably guess why he had a job.

Graham says he’s looking for competition to get his Junior Heavyweight Championship back.

Jimmy Snuka says this ends tonight with Muraco. He’s going to reach down inside himself to get whatever it takes because Muraco has brought out the animal in him. Really good promo here.

Buddy Rogers, Snuka’s manager, says this match is important and his man is ready for it.

Muraco says all the talking is done and all that matters now is the match.

Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka

This is in a cage. Sound familiar? You can only win by escape, making this a REAL cage match. A quick slugout is won by Snuka but Muraco pops back up. Snuka chops away as the beating begins. Don tries for the door but Snuka will have none of that. Muraco manages to slingshot him into the cage and Jimmy is busted early. Snuka gets a knee up and climbs the cage, only to come back down and pound away on Muraco some more.

Don manages a slam and goes for the door but Jimmy makes a save, only to take a low blow. Snuka pops up and chops Don’s head open, followed by a middle rope headbutt. He stands Muraco up, and in a semi-famous ending, hits a flying headbutt which knocks Muraco into the door, knocking it open so that the unconscious Muraco can fall out to keep the title.

Rating: D+. The match was intense while it lasted, but the whole thing only runs about seven minutes. There’s nothing of note here at all other than the ending which is pretty creative. I don’t remember a shorter cage match off the top of my head, which is something I think a lot of people forget. I think people think this was a big and epic brawl but it’s really Snuka killing him and then the ending with a run time of 6:46. That’s not much.

Post match Jimmy snaps and throws Muraco back inside. He suplexes Muraco down and goes to the corner. He climbs to the top rope but then goes a step further to the top of the cage, and in the most famous scene in wrestling until Hogan vs. Andre, jumps off the top of the cage with the Superfly Splash, completely crushing Muraco. That still looks great today, and some credit needs to go to Muraco. He was starting to sit up when Jimmy hits him, but after the Splash Muraco is DEAD.

Mick Foley, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer and Bubba Ray Dudley were in attendance that night and all have said this was what made them want to be a wrestler. I can easily see how that would be the case, as there was nothing like this beforehand. Snuka was flying through the air and crushed Muraco, which still looks incredible today. It’s stuff like that which you can only see in wrestling, which is what makes it great.

For some reason on the replays they keep stopping it right before the splash hits.

Albano, Muraco’s manager, says that Muraco is hurt but he’ll be fine and he’ll be back because he’s awesome. Albano rants again a bit because that’s what he does.

Sika vs. Rocky Johnson

The Samoans have the titles and the Soul Patrol wants them. Sika pounds on him to start but misses a charge and Rocky grabs a sunset out of nowhere for the shocking pin. Johnson and Atlas would get the titles in about a month.

Invaders vs. Butcher Vachon/Israel Matia

The Invaders are undefeated and are masked men from Puerto Rico. We’ll say #1 starts with Matia. The Invaders would be faces here I think. Off to #2 and Israel is in trouble. The masked men tag in so fast that I’ve completely lost track of who is who. Off to Butcher (Mad Dog’s brother and Luna’s dad) who gets in a shot at I think #1 to send him to the floor.

#2 has better luck so Butcher tags in Matia while Matia isn’t paying attention. We get a few instances of the tag that the referee doesn’t see which is an old standard way to get the crowd going. The heels cheat some more until the tag brings in #2. A double dropkick puts Matia down and heel miscommunication allows #1 to hip toss #2 onto Israel for the pin.

Rating: D-. What a mess! It seemed like they had no idea who was supposed to be in control here for the most part, which defeats the purpose of what came off like it was supposed to be a squash. The Invaders didn’t last long but #1 is more famous for likely murdering Bruiser Brody.

Andre says he’s got the Samoan tonight. Not much for him to say this week.

Afa vs. Andre the Giant

Afa jumps him before the entrances and the pain begins soon after. Andre kicks him in the head and sits on him for the pin in less than a minute. Total dominance.

Overall Rating: D+. Classic moment aside, this was a pretty uninteresting show. Most of the stuff is watchable but at the same time there’s nothing in the ring that is anything great. I’m sure you’ve seen the cage dive a few thousand times and while it’s cool to see it in context, there’s not much here to see otherwise. Watchable show but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The company needed a shakeup and that would happen in about three months.

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Smackdown – April 6, 2012: Make Sure To Squeeze Sheamus In There Somewhere

Smackdown
Date: April 6, 2012
Location: Orlando Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the first show of the new year on Fridays and we have a new boss. Tonight we have Sheamus vs. Del Rio where if Del Rio wins he gets a title match at some later date. It should be interesting to see where Bryan goes after this as he’ll certainly get a rematch somewhere. It’s always interesting to see where things go immediately after Mania, so let’s get to it.

We open with Otunga introducing Johnny Ace to trumpet fanfare. David is wearing what can only be described as a suit jacket over his shoulders that would be big on Viscera. Ace talks about how he’s going to bring charisma and leadership to this show as it’s never been done before. This is a new era of people power. Ace hopes Teddy will be professional during this transition. He asks Teddy to come out and is almost immediately cut off in his smug speech. Teddy says he can tell Ace what he really thinks of him now that he’s out of a job.

He was told it would be crazy to come to Smackdown tonight but he couldn’t just leave the job without thanking the fans. He’s had a great job being the GM and he’d like a holla holla holla before he leaves. Teddy goes to leave but Ace says hang on a second. He offers Teddy a job in the new administration but Teddy turns it down.

Ace reminds him of his grandchildren who need to go to college. Otunga points out that somehow Ace controls the college fund the company set up for Long’s grandchildren, so Teddy reluctantly takes the job of Ace’s lackey. Oh wait first he also have to say that Ace is better than him or it doesn’t happen. Teddy says it but Ace wants to hear it once more, with feeling. No word on what the job is yet but it likely won’t be good for him. Teddy leaves and Ace announces Kane vs. Orton in a No DQ match, but first we have this.

Mark Henry/David Otunga vs. R-Truth

Apparently Booker has to be in Connecticut for a closed door meeting next week with the WWE bosses. Otunga starts and is quickly taken down by a clothesline for two. Lie Detector gets two. Henry comes in who kicks Truth down with a big boot. Abraham Washington is watching in the back. Truth avoids a charge in the corner and hits a side kick, but the World’s Strongest Slam kills him so that Otunga can get the pin at 2:03.

With all three of them still in the ring, here’s Kane. I guess they’re just cutting down the time between matches because he doesn’t do anything to any of them.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

This is a No DQ match. Kane knocks him to the floor very quickly but Orton rams him into the barricade. Kane sees Orton’s barricade and raises him a table to take over. Orton throws him over the table and then into the steps. This is a total brawl so far. Kane punches him up the ramp and they slug it out on the stage. Orton almost knocks Kane off the stage but Kane grabs him by the throat. Randy fights out of that and tries the RKO but Kane DDTs him as we take a break.

Back with them in the ring and Kane taking off the turnbuckle pad. Clothesline gets two for Kane. Orton breaks up the top rope clothesline and dropkicks Kane down. Powerslam looks to set up the RKO but Kane bails to the floor. He pulls Randy to the floor and they slug it out even more. Kane gets dropped on the barricade and a clothesline knocks him over into the time keeper’s area.

Orton tries the elevated DDT on the floor but Kane fights out of it and big boots Orton down. Kane goes under the ring and throws five chairs into the ring. As he comes back in though Orton kicks him in the face and pops him with the chair a few times. The Elevated DDT onto the chair gets two. Kane picks up the chair and goes off on Randy with it but can only get two. Here comes the chokeslam but Orton shoves him into the exposed buckle and the RKO finishes at 10:20 shown of 13:50.

Rating: B-. I liked the match but I think the one at Mania was better. Orton evening the score here is good as he’s been jobbing a lot lately, but I’m not sure I get the idea of having this rematch five days after Mania. This wasn’t the best No DQ match on Smackdown that I’ve ever seen but it did its job well enough.

We get a package of stills from Bryan vs. Sheamus. You know, to make sure no one sees the full version of it.

We get a clip from Raw with Del Rio and Sheamus.

Jobber Barry Stevens gets to talk while the lower card watches in the back for some reason. He thinks the people in Orlando are rude.

Ryback vs. Barry Stevens

Ryback is more famous as Skip Sheffield and is acknowledged as being on the first season of NXT but his name isn’t given. I’m assuming the roster was watching for Ryback. Total squash with a kind of delayed fisherman’s brainbuster getting the pin at 1:08. It looked kind of like a MuscleBuster but more like a suplex than dropping him on the back of his head.

Here are Bryan and AJ to talk about Sunday. Bryan says he’s had a chance to think since Sunday…and he tails off. AJ takes the mic and says that Bryan is a great wrestler and a great person. She’s not the only one that thinks that, drawing a loud YES chant. She talks about the YES signs and chants at Mania and Raw, even when Bryan wasn’t in the ring, which causes a Daniel Bryan chant. Everyone is here to support him.

Bryan doesn’t think that it’s support, but rather mocking. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” These people are sheep and they don’t make it any better, because AJ cost him the title. He screams at her about how he beat giants in the cage and how he won the Chamber but AJ just had to have her kiss and cost him the title. It was really the kiss of death.

AJ tries to defend herself but Bryan says she won’t make him the bad guy because it’s her fault. It was her clinginess and selfishness that cost Bryan everything. That’ll never happen again because they’re through. He tells her to go sit in her SUV and eat a cheeseburger. Dang those are some serious words. She begs him to talk about this but he dumps her anyway and throws her out of his ring. The fans give her the Goodbye Song.

Big Show vs. Heath Slater

Cody is on commentary. Before the match Show airs the same video from Raw with Cody getting knocked out. Show chops him a lot and throws him around as Cody says he isn’t sure what went wrong on Sunday. Show tackles him and the chokeslam ends this at 1:14.

Cody almost goes in to fight Big Show but changes his mind. Show knocks out Slater with the WMD.

We get the Punk/Jericho segment from Raw with the alcohol.

The Bellas are in the back with Ace when Sheamus comes in. This is his first appearance as champion: a backstage segment. The referee has been told to bring Alberto and Sheamus face to face tonight so Sheamus can’t kick him in the face. Sheamus says ok and only those that deserve it will get a surprise kick. He talks about his cousin who was a bully and how he was in charge until the people rebelled against him. Subtle.

Beth Phoenix vs. Nikki Bella

Kelly comes out for no apparent reason. Total dominance until Kelly comes to the apron for no apparent reason. She distracts Beth who then charges shoulder first into the post, letting Nikki hit an X Factor for the pin at 59 seconds. This enhanced the show so much for me.

Video on Chief Jay Strongbow who passed away earlier this week.

We get a video on newcomer Damien Sandow, who talks about how real entertainment is a lost art. Instead of listening to Mozart or reading Shakespeare, we now watch Jersey Shore and Real Housewives. He doesn’t blame the people for it, but he will save you from it. Sandow is Idol Stevens from OVW and went by Sandow in FCW.

We get some videos of Cena before Mania, talking about how he has to win. This is followed up by Lesnar’s return and the F5. Once again Cole screws up the return as he sounds like he’s calling a Superstars comeback.

The Three Stooges cast will be guest starring on Raw. I really hope that doesn’t hurt the hot streak WWE has been on.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

If Alberto wins, he gets a future title shot. We have about 15 minutes of airtime left and this is the first live appearance of Sheamus. That goes a long way in telling you where he stands in the company’s eyes. There’s a break between the entrances and Tuesday will be a live Blast From The Past Smackdown. That should be fun. Josh talks about a WWE Magazine article about what Del Rio’s trunks signify. Booker: “They mean he has money. Don’t overcomplicate things.”

Del Rio tries to go after the arm but Sheamus comes back with the Finlay fireman’s carry roll which I can’t think of the name of. Josh says this is for the title and that isn’t disputed by either other commentator, but I’m pretty sure it’s not on the line here. Alberto works on the arm but the Armbreaker is broken up and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick which is ducked. Del Rio heads to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus getting two off the slingshot shoulder. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest but Del Rio escapes and a running enziguri puts Sheamus on the floor. He rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the steps and hooks an arm hold back inside. Sheamus tries a neckbreaker but Del Rio escapes and goes back to the arm.

Alberto charges into the Irish Curse and both guys are down. Sheamus destroys him with power moves and calls for the Brogue Kick but Ricardo pops up for a distraction. Del Rio brings in a chair but Sheamus takes it away. The referee sees him holding it and calls for a DQ at 7:39 shown of 11:09. Sheamus didn’t use the chair.

Rating: C. I wasn’t into this match at all and it really wasn’t a good way to start off Sheamus’ reign. At the end of the day, Del Rio is boring. There’s NOTHING to his character besides he’s rich, he’s Mexican, and he uses a cross armbreaker. That’s it. He was showing some signs of being very evil and sinister when he injured Christian and stood over him with that evil smile, but now that’s all gone. There’s nothing to him but he stays in the title picture non-stop. I don’t get it.

Sheamus kicks the referee to end the show. Nice guy.

Overall Rating: C-. I really wasn’t into this show. They did a really bad job of showcasing the new champion, as he popped up halfway through the show for a pointless backstage segment, had a weak match which he lost, and was treated like a second act. This show was about Laurinitis who is most well known for being boring. That’s not exactly something that makes me want to watch Smackdown, but hopefully things get better next week.

Results
David Otunga/Mark Henry b. R-Truth – Otunga pinned R-Truth after a World’s Strongest Slam
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO
Ryback b. Barry Stevens – Delayed Fisherman’s Brainbuster
Big Show b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Facejam
Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus was seen holding a chair

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Impact Wrestling – April 5, 2012: They Need To Be Careful

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what’s coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren’t any spoilers coming in this week. It’s kind of a nice change of pace and I’m curious to see what happens when I don’t know what to expect. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.

The roster is around ringside and here’s Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There’s going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let’s talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there’s a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.

Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he’s not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here’s Roode who says he’s right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he’s out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it’s what the people want. As for Angle, he won’t be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he’s wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There’s a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff’s left arm.

Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There’s the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it’s avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until the ending. I’d bet money on the rematch happening in ten days anyway (namely because I saw the rematch being made before I wrote this rating) because the idea of making people pay to see the match is a stupid idea in wrestling right? Good match until the bad ending.

Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.

Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.

Ray is trending apparently and says he’ll be the next world champion. He’s going to take care of Aries next.

Ray is in the ring and says he’s eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here’s the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.

Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.

AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they’re stacking this show enough?

Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it’s off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. I know I’m underrating these most of the time but I don’t care about women’s wrestling most of the time. Nothing to see here but at least they’re getting back to Velvet who is the most popular of the Knockouts. I don’t think Winter was ever in the match which is sad as I love that pale British thing.

Anderson says he’ll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.

Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.

Off to Eric Young’s bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic beer and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don’t remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ’s head off for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and that was an AWESOME superkick. The look on Styles’ face after he gets up is great as he looks like he got hit by a bus. This is what Storm needs before the main event at Lockdown: clean wins over big names. AJ isn’t going to get a main event push anytime soon so have him put people over like this.

Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.

Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.

Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.

Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America

Here’s their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it’s back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley’s tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.

Rating: C. This was just a squash as the Guns were clearly never in any danger. The thing is I don’t know what they’re supposed to do other than a feud with Joe and Magnus, as the division is about two teams deep at this point. They’re still fun to watch but there’s no Beer Money to feud with. I’m glad they’re back though.

Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.

Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn’t a leader. Hogan isn’t a leader of men like Eric is.

Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he’s captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric’s team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett’s team wins, Eric is gone….and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean….it’s his name.

Video on Storm training.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Unless there’s an overrun which there hasn’t been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We’re told that next week there’s a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered as is Anderson’s neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old’s hands and the bottle goes across Anderson’s head for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get over that kid. Seriously he looked like he was 11 at oldest. The match was nothing special but given just over four minutes there was only so much that they could do. Not much to see to it and the post match stuff doesn’t really mean much. Anderson is in the main event jobber role now which is about where he belongs.

Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn’t seem to care.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a significantly better show than the last two, but I don’t like what it looks like they’re doing. It looks like they’re stacking the TV shows to get the TV ratings up which is fine short term but it’s a bad idea for the long term. I’m not wild on Hogan as GM but if we get rid of Bischoff in two weeks I’m good. This was a good show for the most part, but I’m not sure I like where things are heading.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle

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