ECW on TNN – October 22, 1999: Sunny Bent Over In A Thong With Her Face In Lita’s Crotch While Dawn Marie Spanks Her

We’re getting closer to November To Remember and we’ve got a few matches set now. For one thing we have the world title match set as Awesome will defend against Tanaka. As for tonight’s show, it’s possible that we’ll see the TNN debut of Sabu. Gee I’m glad they didn’t wait awhile to bring in one of their legends or anything. Hopefully it’s a competitive match and they don’t bring in some old name that used to mean something to have him squash like the One Man Gang or something. Let’s get to it.

Joel is in the ring to open things up. Apparently he’s doing the ring announcing for the opener.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. New Jack

New Jack charges in with the weapons and Awesome stands there so he can get beaten on. Awesome fights back but gets bitten for his efforts. There’s a right hand to send the champion into the corner as that infernal song is still playing. Awesome misses a charge and we head to the floor. Jack puts Awesome against the railing and dives at him with a chair but it gets knocked back into Jack’s face.

Mike gets the chair now and takes over. Back into the ring and a top rope clothesline puts Jack down. Vader Bomb “misses” (Jack rolled the wrong way so it hit him anyway) and it’s staple gun time. A guitar shot to the head won’t put Awesome down but Jack jumps into a chair shot. Awesome throws him to the floor and through a table. Back in and the Awesome Splash gets the easy pin.

Rating: D+. If you take away the idea of wrestling from this match, it was pretty entertaining. Since New Jack is about as far from being a professional wrestler as I am, that’s not much of a stretch. This was just a way to pop the crowd before we get to the actual wrestling on the show.

Theme song.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Candido comes in to help Nova and we get a Lita vs. Sunny catfight, which I’m sure has been a fantasy for many over the years. After the ring is cleared and only Candido and Sytch are left, here come Storm and Dawn Marie for a distraction so Doring, Lita and Roadkill can come in from behind. Dawn paddles Tammy while Lita holds her. Dawn smacks Lita because she can.

With the ring cleared (again), Dawn calls out Francine who comes out with Dreamer. Storm suggests Dreamer can’t sleep with Francine and it’s on, but Justin runs in to double team Dreamer. Here’s Raven who comes in and then turns his back on the Impact Players. It’s about to be another double team but Dreamer makes the save. Raven DDTs Dreamer because he can.

Post break Dreamer is up and calls out Raven. They square off…..and we go to a break.

Rhyno vs. David Kash

Rhyno jumps him and the beatdown begins quickly. Kash hits a dropkick but gets Gored for two. Piledriver works a bit better and gets the pin for Rhyno. This wasn’t even a minute.

Corino gets on the mic post match and says he wants Sabu out here right now to face Rhyno.

Rhyno vs. Sabu

Sabu beats up Rhyno’s posse before the match as the fans are just NUTS for Sabu. Rhyno takes over and we take a quick break. Back with Sabu being sent to the floor so the cronies can beat him up. Back in the ring and Sabu gets powerbombed off a rana attempt for two. Rhyno throws him to the floor and tries a dive but takes out the other guys instead. The other guys/cronies/the posse are Steve Corino and Jack Victory in case that wasn’t clear.

Sabu puts him in the crowd and hits a HUGE dive to take Rhyno out. Back at ringside and Sabu pelts the chair to put Rhyno down. Fonzie is out here now. There’s a table set up between the ring and the barricade like a platform. Sabu ranas Rhyno off the top and back inside for two as Corino makes the save. Fonzie crotches Corino and Steve takes a rana as well. Sabu goes to put Corino through the table but Rhyno Gores him down.

Instead of covering he grabs a chair and charges but Sabu kicks it into his face for two. The triple jump moonsault is broken up but Sabu takes out Victory anyway. There’s a camel clutch and Rhyno is in trouble. Corino makes the save AGAIN but gets taken out by Fonzie. FONZIE HITS A SLINGSHOT SPLASH!!! That was kind of awesome. Rhyno gets put on the table and Sabu hits a triple jump Arabian Facebuster through Rhyno and through the table to put both guys down.

The fans are, as usual, going insane for Sabu. Joey talks about how you’ll NEVER see Sabu on Raw or Nitro, both of which he’d appear on (Nitro he already had been on but you get the idea). There’s a table in the ring now but Sabu has to take out Victory first. That doesn’t change much as Sabu drives Rhyno through the table for two to shock Joey. Facejam onto the chair gets two. Sabu sets for something off the top on Rhyno but Corino covers him for protection. That’s really stupid to do against Sabu as he jumps on both of them. Arabian Facebuster and the Triple Jump Moonsault finally get the pin.

Rating: C. It was a mess but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. Sabu is very much a microcosm of ECW: when he’s on he’s good, but when he’s off, OH MAN is he off. The interference got old fast here too. Also, why have Sabu win? Give Rhyno a cheap victory to further his monster push. Sabu is going to be incredibly popular no matter what, so why not?

A three minute music video of what happened in the show ends it. How pointless is that? Ok Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her isn’t but the rest is.

Overall Rating: A+. It has Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her. What kind of a grade do you think I’m going to give this?

The show is still a mess but the long main event with a big name helped. November to Remember is still mostly unannounced but they’ve got a few weeks left. The show was just ok this week.

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