TNA Weekly PPV #7: Feeling More Like A Mess Every Week

TNA Weekly PPV #7
Date: July 31, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

Back with another week here after last week’s just decent show. For anyone unclear on this, for the next few weeks of this series I’ll be grading them a lot easier overall due to how new this promotion still was at the time. You can’t expect perfection right out of the blocks, even though some TNA fans are still saying they need more time ten years after opening. Anyway, there’s nothing major announced, but of course Jarrett has been suspended for sixty days and there’s NO WAY he’s here tonight, or in the main event or anything like that. Let’s get to it.

X-Division Title: Elix Skipper vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending here of course. Skipper jumps the champ as he comes in as Jerry Lynn sits in on commentary. A spinwheel kick takes Skipper down as does a discus lariat. They trade standing switches and Styles chops away in the corner. A running dropkick and clothesline in the corner put Skipper down for two and then two more. Neither guy can hit a German suplex so Elix settles for a dragon suplex to take over.

Skipper pounds away in the corner but charges into a superkick to the face. AJ strikes away but a belly to back suplex takes him down. This is a different style from AJ and I’m not sure how well I like it. He’s leaning heel here and I’m not sure Skipper is a face so it doesn’t balance out that well. Styles tries a kick to the ribs but gets shoved back to the mat as Skipper keeps control.

Out to the floor with AJ being rammed back first into the apron. Skipper hooks a butterfly suplex, floats over onto AJ and pulls back on the arms in a kind of reverse Cattle Mutilation. Styles’ rana is blocked into a powerbomb from Skipper as Elix has dominated almost all of this match. Skipper keeps up the different kind of offense by hooking a sunset flip but shifts to the side and cranks on AJ’s head in a neck hold.

AJ counters a northern lights suplex into a seated guillotine followed by the moonsault into the reverse DDT. A guillotine legdrop misses for AJ but he hurricanranas Skipper to the floor as things slow down a bit. That doesn’t last long as AJ misses an Asai Moonsault as Skipper slides in immediately and hits a big corkscrew plancha. Back in AJ counters the Play of the Day into the Styles Clash which is countered into a sunset flip. Elix goes to the rope but gets knocked off, letting AJ hit Spiral Tap to retain.

Rating: C+. This was like a lawn mower that you keep pulling the cord on and you get the engine started a little bit but then it dies down again. These two kept trying to get something going but it never got to the point they were supposed to get to. AJ doesn’t quite work that well as a striker but once he ditched that and started flipping and jumping all over the place, it worked much better. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen very often and the match was only pretty good.

Tenay and company say that boss Ricky Steamboat isn’t here tonight. Nice job on the bait and switch people. However, Steamboat has ordered Malice to return the belt he stole last week and wouldn’t you know it, Jarrett isn’t suspended anymore and he’s facing Hall in the main event tonight.

As Skipper is leaving, Monty Brown pops up and beats the tar out of him, hitting the Alpha Bomb and leaving him laying.

Here’s Jarrett to the ring immediately after that with a body bag. He says that since Shamrock, Behrens and Steamboat were all gone, he’s going to amuse himself. Jarrett pulls a midget wrestler out of the bag and beats the tar out of him before issuing an open challenge. It’s answered by that annoying midget Puppet who, I kid you know, PULLS A GUN ON JARRETT. Then, because he’s pretty freaking stupid, he turns around and gets blasted with a chair shot from Jarrett.

Now Steamboat pops up on the stage which makes me wonder why they said he wasn’t here when he’s here three minutes later. Anyway, Steamboat says Jarrett is done tonight, but Jarrett wants to fight Steamboat. Jeff suggests that if he wins he gets a title shot but if he loses, he’ll take the suspension. Steamboat seems cool with it but as he’s comign to the ring, Scott Hall sneaks in and jumps Jarrett. He pulls out a stretcher from under the ring and we’ve got a gimmick main event.

Sonny Siaki says he doesn’t need backup and that he’s better than his partners Estrada and Yang. He also accuses Goldilocks of checking him out. This guy is growing on me.

Slash vs. Sonny Siaki

Slash immediately pounds Siaki down into the corner and pounds away. James Mitchell has a box which is called the Ark of the New Church which contains the blood of the Audad, whatever that is. Slash tries a sunset bomb to the floor but Siaki counters into a rana to take over. Slash is sent into the barricade and backdropped on the floor and we head back inside.

Siaki takes too long to attack and gets caught in an Eye of the Hurricane for two. Keeping up with that theme, the move we would call the Eye of the Storm gets two and a bicycle kick “hits” for two. Mitchell gets off commentary as Slash puts on a cobra clutch. As Siaki starts to fight back, Slash leg sweeps him down for two. Sikai starts a comeback but misses a top rope backsplash. Slash puts a bag over Siaki’s face, hits a neckbreaker, takes the bag off, and gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it wasn’t great either. I like Siaki but this heel vs. heel thing didn’t work all that well. Also, they’ve been building him up for weeks now and then they just stop doing it for the sake of giving Slash a win. This is what jobbers are for, and I assure you there are people that would love to be able to do jobs on PPV.

Post match Mitchell puts the blood of Audad on Siaki’s face until Don Harris (bald guy, in a bunch of biker teams with his twin brother) runs in for the save. Malice comes out and has a staredown with Harris.

Steamboat says he’s in charge and anyone that has issues with it can get over it. Oh and don’t compare him to Bill Behrens. He leaves and one of the Rainbow Express follows him.

Here’s Truth to talk to one of the cage dancers. He talks to her about how she’s in a cage like an animal against her own free will. Truth calls this a freak show and says the company is exploiting her. He makes fun of the idea of her being a performer and calls her a ho. She slaps Truth so he gets his belt, only to have Monty Brown jump him and knock Truth into the audience. Truth finds a 2×4 from somewhere and cracks it over Brown’s back.

As Brown is helped to the back, here’s Ricky Steamboat. He calls Truth Ron and says that Truth has his attention. Truth comes out and slaps the mic away from the Dragon. Steamboat grabs Truth’s mic and says that if this is about race, he’s here to listen to Truth talk. Truth says Steamboat means the same thing to the fans as he (Truth) does. Let’s talk about Steamboat’s WWF career, starting with Savage vs. Steamboat.

After that great match, why didn’t Steamboat get a WWF Title shot? It’s because the Intercontinental Title was just for second class citizens. Truth says that now he’s getting the same treatment, Steamboat AGREES and gives Truth a title shot next week. This would make a lot more sense if Steamboat hadn’t won the EXACT SAME TITLE Truth is getting a shot at just under two years after the Savage match.

Malice vs. Apolo

Apparently Apolo was supposed to be the #1 contender to Shamrock, which is news to me. Both guys pound away on each other in the corner with Apolo taking over. A powerslam sends Malice to the floor and there’s a big dive to take out Malice on the floor. Malice posts him as the announcers are talking about Truth’s title shot next week. Both guys are sent into the barricade and Apolo is busted open.

Back in and Malice puts on a Claw hold followed by a slam. He kicks on the cut on the head as Ferrara talks about liking Malice’s blood lust. Apolo grabs a quick rollup for two but gets forearmed in the face to take him back down. A DDT out of nowhere puts Malice down and a superkick gets the pin on Malice.

Rating: C+. Decent brawl here as Malice continues to fall further and further down the ladder. Apolo is a guy I liked back in the day and it’s a shame that he was gone like a week later. This was a short but hard hitting brawl and that was a pretty sweet superkick for the pin. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face.

Malice chokeslams the referee and as he sets to chokeslam Apolo, Don Harris runs out for the save again until Slash comes out and does the hooded neckbreaker on Harris. Mitchell tells Harris that he chose the wrong path and he gets the blood put on his face as well.

Don West gets in the ring to interview Miss TNA, Taylor Vaughn, who gets NO reaction. She isn’t even that good looking. Bruce comes out (no pun intended) and asks for a title match. Vaughn gets on her knees instead (remember that Bruce is gay) but hits him low to start the match.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. Taylor Vaughn

Vaughn slams him, he clotheslines her, Bruce misses a legdrop but hits a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for the pin and the crowd. This was nothing and NO ONE cared.

Low Ki will do his talking in the ring.

Low Ki vs. Jerry Lynn

AJ is on commentary and talks about how the tag champions will work together. Jerry takes it to the mat to start and cranks on a headscissors until Low Ki kicks him in the head. Ki takes him to the mat instead and tries an armbar but Lynn sits out to escape. AJ won’t answer why he walked out on Lynn last week as Ki takes Lynn down with a leg lock. Jerry counters into an arm hold as we get some chain wrestling.

Lynn finally says screw this and hits an enziguri to take over. Low Ki tries some more kicks but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take him down again. The idea of selling continues to not be something Low Ki favors as he shrugs it off and chops/kicks Lynn down some more. Low Ki stays on the back and hooks a modified Tarantula with kind of a rear naked choke instead of a Boston Crab.

Lynn comes back with an elbow and a knee drop for two. There’s a Gory Special from Jerry as AJ praises his partner. It’s amazing how much better AJ sounds now than he did here. Cradle Piledriver is countered into an armbar and Low Ki starts firing off his strikes. A jackknife cover gets two and it’s time for a strike off. A big springboard spin kick from Low Ki puts Jerry down for no cover.

Ki tries his cartwheel kick in the corner but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two. A small package for Low Ki sets up the Dragon Sleeper but Jerry escapes into a tornado DDT for another very close two. The cradle piledriver is countered into a kick to the face and AJ gets off commentary. He gets on the apron and tries a kick to the head, but it hits Lynn, possibly by mistake. That’s a DQ…..or make that a no contest.

Rating: B-. How in the world is that a no contest? Lynn got kicked in the head and Low Ki never got touched. How is that an equal ending for both guys and not a DQ win for Jerry? Anyway, the match started a bit slow before it finally cranked up at the end. The crowd was rightfully losing it on those near falls and it made things a lot better.

AJ yells at Lynn post match but Low Ki kicks Styles in the head.

Don Harris wants a first blood match with Malice next week.

It’s time for Jive Talking with Glenn Gilbertti. The sign says Disco’s Jive Talking so maybe he can use the old name. He implies he’s replacing Oprah and talks about how there isn’t enough T&A on this show. Disco promises to bring out someone who will expose her breasts and brings out Goldilocks. Goldi is a musician so we talk about that for awhile with her saying she’s been called a female Kid Rock.

This goes on and isn’t really funny or interesting which I think is the point. Disco tells her to take her top off and another argument ensues. He implies her only talent involves kneepads so she knees him in the balls. Cue some big chick from the first season of Tough Enough to choke Goldilocks out. This went on way too long and wasn’t even funny at all.

The announcers hype the show for next week and West shouts a lot.

Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett

Stretcher match. Hall jumps Jarrett on the stage and the beating is on fast. Jeff gets slammed into the steps and onto the announce table. They head into the ring and Hall hits the fallaway slam to send him right back to the floor. They head into the back and Jerry Lynn gets shoved. Hall gets hit with a stool from the previous segment and Jarrett tries to run away.

The fight goes into the crowd and Hall hits a big chair shot. We finally get into the ring and Hall brings in the stretcher (it’s the cloth kind with poles in it) but Jarrett hits a baseball slide to his ribs. Jeff hits Hall in the back with the stretcher and whips him into the stretcher in the corner a few times. Hall does the same thing right back to Jarrett and crotches him onto the poles.

A few shots to Jarrett’s back with the stretcher are followed by Snake Eyes onto it and Jeff is in trouble. There’s the Razor’s Edge but Truth comes out and pulls the referee to the floor. An ax kick puts Hall down but it only gets two. Monty Brown goes after Truth and they fight into the crowd. Now Jerry Lynn runs in to splash Jarrett in retaliation for earlier. AJ pops in and blasts Lynn before going up for Spiral Tap.

Now Don Harris comes out to crotch him but Malice and Slash take out Harris. Hall and Jarrett (remember them?) collide in the ring and they’re both down. Hall gets up and pounds Jarrett down but a stretcher shot hits the referee. Jarrett gets a chair but has to swing at Steamboat. The shot misses the Dragon and it hits the rope before bouncing back into Jarrett’s face. Hall gets the chair but Steamboat blocks it, allowing Jarrett to Stroke him onto the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not only was the match WAY overbooked, but what the heck was the point of the stretcher? Hall got placed on it post match, but is that supposed to mean something? This didn’t do anything at all as Hall was just not interesting as he didn’t really have a character or anything like that. He’s just kind of there and that’s not very interesting.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t work that well for me. It feels like a long stretch of segments that happen to be happening on the same show rather than a single show if that makes sense. Everything seems like it’s thrown together and Hall and Shamrock, the two top faces, are just kind of floating around aimlessly. That’ll change next week which is a good thing, but it didn’t do much to help this show.

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