Monday Night Raw – October 8, 2012: The Boss Is Back And He Is FREAKING AWESOME!

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 8, 2012
Location: Power Balance Pavilion, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After last week’s lowest rating in fifteen years, Vince is back tonight for a State of the WWE address. Love him or hate him, when he’s on TV the fans pay attention. Granted having a lower level Monday Night Football game isn’t going to hurt anything either. Other than that, we’re likely to have another legend, maybe Vince himself, tell Punk that he needs to fight Cena in the Cell. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to open things up. He asks if the people missed him and the fans cheer, which surprises both him and me. Cena talks about how he’s been gone awhile (it’s been two weeks) and he’s gotten to experience things for two weeks. He goes through the basics of various storylines and asks AJ out on a date. Maybe to In and Out (California staple) for a Double Double?

Also Vince is here tonight and Arnold Schwarzennegger is the social media ambassador tonight (seriously) and we’ve got a one armed man in the ring tonight. He talks about the fans losing their voice and the WWE Title losing its voice as well. Cena sums up Punk’s reign in a nutshell: if no one wants to watch, it doesn’t matter how many days he holds the belt. He tells Punk to be a man and define his legacy by facing him in the Cell.

As Cena is leaving, here’s Ryback. Apparently it’s just for a match as Cena walks past him.

Ryback vs. Primo/Epico

I’m not going to bother doing commentary on these matches anymore. The cousins get in some offense, Ryback kills them both, double Shell Shock at 2:33.

Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth

It’s a regular hat for Brodus this week. Now this is an interesting match. Before the match, Truth says they can’t fight because Little Jimmy is going through puberty and wants to dance. It turns into a dance party, and by that I mean the other four stand there and watch Little Jimmy dance.

Thankfully Vince pops up on screen and says dance up the ramp because it’s time for the State of the WWE Address.

Here’s Vince to criticize what we just saw. He says there’s room for that here, along with leprechauns, goat faced vegans, masked luchadors and more. We have drama, action, romance and comedy, but above all else, we have action. Here you want to see the best against the best….and here’s Punk, in a bright yellow shirt. But I guess since it’s Punk it’s much more ok than the ones Cena wears right?

Vince immediately says the shirt is ugly and yells at Punk for interrupting. Punk wanted his name mentioned and thinks it was a shot at him for not being mentioned and not getting inside the Cell with Cena. Punk blames the fans for his issues and doesn’t like the fans that ironically chant his name as well. He asks if Vince respects him and Vince respects Punk being champion for 323 days. However, he doesn’t respect Punk being a Paul Heyman guy. Vince isn’t a CM Punk guy which sets Punk off.

Punk goes into a tirade about how a year and a half ago he talked about being a spoke on the wheel and now he is the wheel. He’s the best thing WWE has today and he isn’t appreciated. Where’s his appreciation night? Punk threatens to leave again and this time he wouldn’t come back, even though he’s the reason Vince has any money left. If not him, then who makes this place go around? Vince says the fans make this place successful and right now all the fans want someone to shut Punk’s mouth.

Vince says Punk isn’t one of the all time greats like Andre or Bret or Shawn or Steve Austin. The Austin mention makes Punk go into a rant about Austin running away and being scared of people. Austin’s greatest accomplishment was beating up a clueless millionaire. Punk goes on ANOTHER rant about how the company and Vince have slapped him in the face for years, so Punk slaps Vince across the face, causing Vince to fall down faster than he does from a Stunner. Vince wants to fire him but that’s too good for him. Tonight it’s Vince vs. Punk or Punk is fired. Heyman really doesn’t like this idea but Punk loves it.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Prime Time Players vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Young start things off with Cara starting to speed things up very quickly. The twisting armdrag out of the corner puts Young down as does a rana. Off to Rey who low bridges Young and hits a seated senton off the apron. Titus misses a charge and Cara takes him out as we head to a break. Back with Titus hitting a backbreaker on Cara before bringing in Young for a bearhug.

Cara slams Young down as the camera freaks out. It looks like it’s shaking or something. Anyway it’s off to Rey who speeds things up and gets two on Young. Cara kicks O’Neal in the head and hits a springboard missile dropkick to take him down. Young hits the release gutbuster on Cara but Cara isn’t legal. The gutbuster doesn’t work on Rey and it’s a 619 and top rope splash for the pin on Young at 7:25.

Rating: C. This was a good speed vs. power match and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the classic formula and when you have guys in there that know how to do it, things work very well. Good stuff here as Rey and Cara fit the role of the local luchadores perfectly. One thing though: STOP WITH COMMERCIALS IN SEVEN MINUTE MATCHES.

Heyman still isn’t sure on this and wants Punk to lose so that Vince doesn’t go insane on them. Punk laughs it off.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

My mind will be boggled if there’s a conclusive ending. They fight over a headlock and here’s Big Show 15 seconds in. He doesn’t do anything but walk around ringside and Barrett gets jumped. Sheamus takes over with a headlock and hits a slingshot shoulder before hooking another headlock. Wade fires off some elbows in the corner but Sheamus fires off one of his own. A suplex gets two for the champ but he can’t hit a Regal Roll. Instead it’s a knee lift to send Barrett to the floor but Barrett trips him on the apron and pulls Sheamus to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus breaking a hold and sending Barrett out to the floor. An uppercut sends Barrett up the stage a bit but Wade comes back and kicks the steps into Sheamus’ knees. Back in and it’s another chinlock which doesn’t last long. Barrett sits him in the ropes (not on them) and kicks Sheamus’ head off for a delayed two. A top rope elbow misses for Barrett and Sheamus comes back with a clothesline. Barrett tries the elbow but Sheamus steps to the side and gets the ten forearms in the ropes. We get a Dusty Rhodes reference and freaking Tensai comes in for the DQ at 12:34.

Rating: B-. Tihs was getting good until the ending. To be fair, this is happening because Sheamus jumped Tensai on Smackdown to cost Show a match so it makes sense. Why they had these guys who could have a PPV title match one day go twelve minutes on Raw is beyond me, but at least there wasn’t a winner. These two have great chemistry together.

Tensai and Barrett beat Sheamus down but Tensai gets kicked in the face and Barrett is sent to the floor. Show gets in and blocks the Brogue Kick before shoving Sheamus to the floor with a SICK thud.

JR goes to talk some sense into McMahon.

Punk comes in to see AJ and she accuses him of being afraid of fighting both Cena and Vince. Punk says whatever happens is on her head. This seemed pointless.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd

Before the match we see Cesaro at an American restaurant complaining about how fattening American food is. Non-title here and man alive Cena was right about Cesaro’s nipples. I think I left that out earlier but there were comments about said nipples. They fight over arm control with some nifty moves before Kidd gets a victory roll for two. That gets him nowhere though as Cesaro kicks his head off to take over.

Cesaro puts on the cravate and guillotines Kidd on the top rope to send him to the floor. Kidd speeds things up and hits a hard kick to the chest followed by another one through the ropes. A slingshot cradle gets two as does a slingshot legdrop to the back of the head. Kidd misses a springboard elbow though and the big uppercut takes Kidd’s head off. Neutralizer ends this at 4:25.

Rating: C+. I really liked this one as they had Cesaro looking very strong out there. Kidd is always fun to watch as the guy is just talented all around. The Neutralizer looks good for a finisher too and he can hit it on almost anyone. This was nowhere near a squash either which helped things a lot. Good stuff.

HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again here. The champs argue over who starts and the crowd explodes. It’s Bryan vs. Ziggy with Bryan taking over on the arm. Off to Kane and Del Rio with Kane intentionally short arming a tag attempt. Ziggler charges in and gets an uppercut to the face. Cole and JBL get in an argument over Mil Mascaras as Ziggler is thrown to the floor. Bryan tags himself in and hits a big running knee off the apron to take over.

We take a break and come back with Bryan kicking Dolph’s head off and getting into another argument with the crowd. Del Rio comes back in and puts on a chinlock, followed by a hip swiveling neckbreaker from Dolph for two. Alberto and Bryan trade rapid fire kicks in the corner but Bryan misses a running kick in the corner. We get into some standard tag stuff with Bryan being cut off from Kane by both bad guys. Well, both bad guys not named Bryan as he’s still a heel. Alberto hooks a chinlock followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

Back to Ziggler who prevents another tag despite taking a shot to the face. Del Rio comes back in with a kick to the face for another two. Another chinlock goes on as this match is DRAGGING. Bryan avoids a charging Del Rio, sending the shoulder into the post. There’s the tag to Kane and the big fried freak takes over with some clotheslines.

A double chokeslam is broken up and a Fameasser gets a VERY close two on Kane. Kane hits a sidewalk slam on Dolph and goes up, but Bryan tags himself in and hits a top rope dropkick for two on Dolph. Del Rio misses a charge and hits the floor. Vickie is up on the apron, giving Dolph a rollup for two. A Buzzsaw kick to Ziggler sets up a chokeslam from Kane for the pin at 16:00.

Rating: C+. Cut three minutes out of this and it goes WAY up. Kane and Bryan work well together and the fans are still into them, but we need some more of their segments to get their fire back. Until then they’re just a dysfunctional tag team and we’ve had a lot of them over the years. Not bad here though as they picked up a lot at the end.

JR finds Vince in the back and talks about the JR Appreciation segment from after Raw went off the air last week. Vince called JR a friend and as a friend, JR says don’t do this, because “remember what happened to the King after he fought CM Punk.” JR goes into JR mode and says what he’ll say if Vince wins.

Now, I kid you not, here’s LARRY KING in the arena for a sitdown interview with The Miz. Apparently it’s Miz’s birthday and he wants King and King’s wife to sing Happy Birthday. King has another guest: Kofi Kingston. Kofi plays to the crowd and Miz freaks out. Miz goes off on King’s history of divorces and calls Kofi and Larry amateurs. Larry’s wife throws water on Miz. Miz starts taking his jacket off but Kofi jumps him and throws Miz off the stage.

We look at Austin vs. McMahon in WWE 13. Next.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Rhodes Scholars vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

The Scholars think this is a mismatch. The winners of this get Rey and Cara. Gee I wonder who is going to win here. Cody and Ryder start things off with the heel in control. Off to Sandow who misses his wind-up elbow, allowing for the tag to Santino. The Cobra is loaded up but the Disaster Kick ends Santino at 3:07.

Rating: D. It was short and the ending was almost never in doubt. What else are you expecting from something like this? Sandow getting pushed like this is a good thing and the more Cody on my screen the better my show becomes. At least the match didn’t last long, which is all you can ask in something like this.

As the Scholars leave, Encore comes down and beats up Santino and Ryder.

Heyman comes to see Vince in the back and begs for McMahon’s mercy on Punk tonight. Vince goes off on Heyman for poisoning Punk’s mind but Heyman says he’s here for Vince’s sake. Heyman invokes HHH’s name to shake Vince up a bit.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Layla is on commentary as she always is anymore. Apparently she gets the winner of this. Eve is champion coming in just in case it’s like 2031 or something. Kaitlyn takes over to start and suplexes Eve down a few times followed by a fireman’s carry into a kind of Torture Rack. Eve rakes the eyes and kicks out the bad ankle to take over. Kaitlyn hits a backbreaker but it hurts her ankle again. Eve goes after the ankle by standing on it before putting on a heel hook for the tap at 2:54. This wasn’t terrible at all.

Layla makes the save and Eve becomes all nice and sweet again.

Alberto is in the back with Ricardo when Josh comes in with a Tweet for him to read. Del Rio isn’t interested but it’s from Randy Orton. Orton says he’ll be at Smackdown on Friday. Del Rio isn’t happy.

Larry King and his wife are leaving when Bryan comes up to him. Bryan wants advice on being called a goatface and hits on King’s wife. She says no and Kane comes up to say he carries the team. The usual argument ensues. When I said more segments, I didn’t mean with Larry King. Larry and his wife leave. Kane: “That was Larry King? I thought it was Skellator.” Eh not bad but it’s no “my name is Gerald.”

Heyman thinks the way out of this is for Punk to beat Vince so badly that Vince can’t make another decision ever again.

Vince comes out for the match but Punk jumps him on the way to the ring and beats the tar out of him before the bell. Vince spears him down but Punk beats him in the head. The high kick puts Vince down and I don’t think the bell every rang. They head to the floor and Punk puts on a headset. “WHAT A MANUEVER!!!” I laughed out loud.

Vince sends Punk into the post after escaping the GTS. He sends Punk FLYING over the announce table and grabs a mic. Vince DIVES OVER THE TABLE and beats up Punk! He rams a chair into Punk’s crotch and we head back inside. Vince is bleeding from the eye but he grabs a kendo stick. I think Vince’s ear is bleeding also. Punk bails and tells Heyman to bring the title, but Vince stops him and lays out Heyman with a shot to the head. Vince gets the title and stands in the ring with it and the kendo stick, challenging Punk to come fight him.

Punk finds a kendo stick and gets in. They BEAT THE TAR OUT OF EACH OTHER with the sticks and Vince knocks the stick out of Punk’s hands, sending Punk to his knees to beg. Punk hits Vince low and beats on him with the sticks. He loads up the GTS but FEED ME MORE hits and the fans LOSE IT. Punk runs but Cena comes out and sends Punk back in. Ryback kills Punk with the clothesline but Punk escapes Shell Shock.

Punk bails and Vince gets the mic. He says it’s either Punk vs. Ryback or Punk vs. Cena in the Cell. If Punk doesn’t decide, Vince makes up his mind for him. Punk is TERRIFIED to end the show. This wasn’t a match but man it ROCKED.

Overall Rating: B-. This is another example of an episode of Raw that would have been AWESOME at two hours but the third hour brings it down. The pacing was fine this week which is the major issue the show had last week. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was WAY better than what we’ve been getting lately. They actually did some stuff here instead of just chasing themselves around in circles. Also, look what happens with FAR less backstage GM nonsense.

Results

Ryback b. Epico/Primo – Shell Shock

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Prime Time Players – Top rope splash to Young

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Tensai interfered

Antonio Cesaro b. Tyson Kidd – Neutralizer

HELL NO b. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam to Ziggler

Rhodes Scholars b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Disaster Kick to Marella

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Heel Hook

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