Survivor Series Count-Up 2012 Redo – 2006: Man This Year Sucked
Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
After last year’s solid edition, the main event this year is Booker T vs. Batista. Think about that match for a minute and it just sounds like something that’s going to be dull. This is also a Last Chance match, meaning that if Batista doesn’t win the title here, he gets NO MORE CHANCES at Booker. If that’s not a sign as to what’s coming, you’re beyond my help. The other match that people remember here is Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO. Let’s get to it.
This is the 20th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.
Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad
Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes
Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey
Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler. Mikey is Mike Mondo in ROH at the moment.
Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Simmons beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”
Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s off to Flair and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow for the immediate elimination of Nicky, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.
The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.
Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.
Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.
We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. I’ve heard of worse reasons for a title match. There was some nonsense about Eddie’s estate that I don’t remember going anywhere. That would be one of those worse reasons.
US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero
Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the face. JBL: “You don’t know what she shaves Chavo.” Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.
Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan Drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the Swan Dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the Swan Dive miss, sending his head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the Frog Splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.
Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the Swan Dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.
Watch the Extreme Elimination Chamber at December to Dismember! NEXT SUNDAY!!!
Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.
Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James
Lita is defending. I miss Mickie with those skirts that keep flying up. Lita slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.
A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. I can’t at all complain about the upskirt shots of Mickie though. Off to a sleeper by Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes.
Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two (and a GREAT crotch shot of Mickie). Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.
Rating: D. Most of that is for getting great views of Mickie and Lita’s rocking cleavage. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.
Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with a box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.
Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s panties so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s vibrator. Dang she’s bored in the locker room. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for I think 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.
Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.
Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO
Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk
Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms
This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is IC Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. I believe Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox has some chick named Kelly Kelly with him and at the moment, she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.
HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it, Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here. Off to Jeff who works on the arm of Nitro. Apparently these two have been feuding a bit too lately.
Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.
Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and you can feel the internet’s orgasm coming (pun intended). Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.
Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.
Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.
Rating: C-. This was entertaining but when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud, this is kind of a questionable ending. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.
We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Taker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Taker has had in years. It’s a first blood tonight because Kennedy busted Taker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Taker’s magic powers.
Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP comes up and notices the vasoline on Kennedy’s forehead. Apparently these two are friends.
Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker
I keep typing Anderson instead of Kennedy. Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but as soon as they get back in Taker punches him down. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announce table with Taker in total control. We head to the crowd and Taker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Taker into the steps.
Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Taker so far. We head back in and Taker busts out a freaking superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but don’t you need to go for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it’s the best I can come up with. Kennedy hits Taker low but Taker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.
A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Taker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Taker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.
Taker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone, but it winds up hitting Taker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Taker is such a legend at this point.
Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Taker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former world champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former world champion he had beaten.
Kennedy beats up Taker post match but Taker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Taker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.
Buy Piper’s DVD! No really, that one is worth checking out. Stay FAR away from his book though. It’s HORRIBLE.
Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.
Team Cena vs. Team Big Show
John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam
Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga
Let’s see. It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team. Who do you think the fans are going to be cheering for? Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga is still undefeated and a monster. Naturally Cena is booed out of the building. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena knocking Umaga to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.
We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irish dude for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.
While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. Oh joy indeed. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with that club that I can’t spell so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in there.
To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.
A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Horny again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.
Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.
JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.
The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.
We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Big Dave’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he thinks is still his.
Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T
Booker is defending in case you’re really stupid. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via countout, so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.
After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before slingshotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer. Why has no one made that a finisher since Goldberg? It’s a good power move but no one uses it really. That’s very odd.
A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title? Right? A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.
Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. Yep that’s really how this ends. Not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.
Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the world title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.
Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.
This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.
Ratings Comparison
Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero
Original: B
Redo: D+
Mickie James vs. Lita
Original: B
Redo: D
Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO
Original: B
Redo: C-
Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker
Original: C+
Redo: C
Team Cena vs. Team Big Show
Original: D+
Redo: D
Batista vs. Booker T
Original: D-
Redo: D-
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D-
WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
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I cant believe how over Lita was as a heel. By this time she was probably getting one of the Top 5 reactions from the crowd, wow.