Smackdown – December 7, 2012: Back To Sucking For Smackdown

Smackdown
Date: December 7, 2012
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re nine days from TLC as well as fourteen days away from the end of the world if you buy into that. Anyway, the main story is that CM Punk has had knee surgery and may or may not be able to be in the TLC match against Ryback for the title. Aside from that, there’s likely going to be more Sheamus vs. Big Show stuff. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap (with no voiceover thank goodness) of the end of Raw with Ryback destroying Punk and putting him through a table.

Josh tells us that Punk had surgery to fix a partially torn meniscus (wasn’t that what they said Cena had?). The match in its place will be HELL NO/Ryback vs. The Shield in a TLC match….which you can win by pin or submission. Isn’t that pretty much just a hardcore match? Ryback will get a shot in the future.

Here’s Booker to open the show. Booker says that he’s always been one to take care of his business, be it in the ring, in the back, or in a supermarket. The ring is set up for a contract signing. Booker talks about how he has to give us a good show, so here’s a recap video on Big Show vs. Sheamus. Since he wants to give us a big match at the PPV, there’s a no contract clause for the next nine days.

Here are Sheamus and Big Show to sign the agreement. Booker says if they break the clause, Sheamus loses his title shot and Show loses the title. They sign and Sheamus says that while waiting for the PPV is like waiting for Christmas, the title match is going to be like Christmas morning because he gets to beat on Big Show and win his title back. Show says that while Sheamus beat on him so many times, Show kept getting up.

He talks about how much experience he has and how Sheamus just wants to fight no matter what. Sheamus says he made Show relevant again and how the chairs match might be the end of his career. Show pulls a 2001 HHH and hasn’t signed yet before turning the table on Sheamus. Booker calms Sheamus down and says it’s Sheamus vs. Del Rio tonight. Who wants to see this match EVER again? Show gets Bryan next. This was ridiculously boring.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Bryan fires off kicks to the legs but Show easily shoves him away. That sequence works so well that they do the exact same thing again. Show keeps pounding on Bryan as Bryan tries his strikes to come back. A splash in the corner crushes Bryan but he blocks a spear by dropkicking Show’s leg out. They head to the floor where Show is sent into the post but he chops Bryan down as we take a break.

Back with Show getting two off something we didn’t see as Bryan is in trouble. Show starts working on the arm with his usual slow stuff. He stands on the arm which is something you don’t often see. Show charges into a pair of boots in the corner and Bryan adds some dropkicks for one. Bryan goes up top for the headbutt as the Shield is seen in the crowd. The distraction lets Show chokeslam Bryan down for the pin at 6:56 shown of 10:26.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much and I have no idea why Show was working on the arm. He’s a giant, so why work on a limb? It wasn’t terrible or anything but it didn’t really work that well. At the end of the day, giants don’t work on limbs because they don’t have to. It just didn’t work for me.

The Shield shows up at ringside and Show walks away. They circle Bryan and the beating is on. Cue Kane, walking rather slowly for a savior. He holds them off for a bit but the numbers catch up to him, resulting in Kane taking the powerbomb through the announce table.

Back from a break and it’s time for Sandow to try to find his apprentice. It’s the same deal as the previous times and it’s still awesome. Sandow is nailing this character so well and I don’t know of anybody working better right now. He gets interrupted by Miz who makes fun of Sandow’s robe and trunks….and that’s it. That would be a good feud for Sandow actually.

We recap the tag match from Monday where Cena and Sheamus beat their PPV opponents.

We also get Vickie and Vince’s segment almost in full.

Brodus Clay/Usos vs. 3MB

Jey vs. Heath to start things off with Slater getting taken down quickly. Jimmy (thankfully with an arm sleeve tattoo now) comes in with a middle rope splash for two before it’s off to McIntyre and Clay. Brodus goes nuts and runs over everyone until Slater and Mahal take him to the floor. The Usos start diving but McIntyre takes Jimmy down, followed by the Future Shock for the pin at 2:27. Short and nothing to see.

Barrett says Orton has to worry about the Bull Hammer tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Kofi is on commentary in a snappy vest. He says that at TLC, it’s going to have to be a brawl and he’s ready for just that. They feel each other out for a bit and then start punching away, with Randy taking over. This only lasts a few seconds until Orton charges into a boot in the corner. Orton goes after Barrett’s knee and sends him to the floor. The chemistry isn’t exactly clicking so far.

We head to the floor and Wade goes face first into the steps. Brawling is probably the right choice for these guys. Barrett sends Orton into the steps as well before heading back inside. Orton is knocked off the apron and is holding his elbow as we take a break. Back with Orton escaping a chinlock but getting put into the ropes for some choking. Barrett kicks Orton in the face to knock him to the outside again which gets two back in the ring.

Wade goes up but misses a middle rope elbow. JBL makes fun of Josh using all of the snake references about Orton and the voice is hilarious. Orton makes his comeback and hits the Elevated DDT but Barrett hooks the rope to block the RKO. Wade goes to unhook the buckle, but Kofi yells at the referee to stop Barret. The distraction lets the RKO hit for the pin at 7:17 shown of 10:47.

Rating: D. I didn’t like this for the most part as they were just missing out there. Also, why would you have Orton go over here, especially when Barrett has a title show coming up? Could it be because this company has no idea how to book its midcard? I’d be as shocked as you are if that was the case.

Epico/Primo vs. Hornswoggle/Great Khali

What do you expect here? Khali starts with Epico and pounds away on him before the cousins double team him to the floor. Off to Horny who is bullied because of his size. He Warriors Up and Khali does the work to put Epico and Primo down. Tadpole Splash pins Epico at 2:54. Oh and Natalya is here with the winning team.

The Raw ReBound sums up the end of the show and reiterates the Punk announcement.

We get a Shield promo with one of them holding a camera at themselves. They say they don’t work for anyone but themselves and talk about the injustice they’ve gone through. They don’t mention any specifics but that would be giving away too much. Ambrose says they’ll bring the sword to the PPV.

Here’s Cesaro in the ring and apparently he’s defending the title against R-Truth at the PPV. Cesaro says that America is weak and there’s no more American Dream. He says everyone used to pursue the American Dream, but now they all just look like him. Cesaro has a picture of Dusty Rhodes and we get some funky music.

Truth comes out and says he sees hard working people doing everything they can to hang on. Cesaro isn’t impressed and neither am I. Again, Cesaro has already beaten Truth at least once, so why do we need to see this match again? The brawl is on but Cesaro bails. This would have been ok if the match wasn’t already set, but instead it comes off like tacking on a feud, which isn’t good storytelling.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

I’ve had nightmares about this match before. They brawl into the corner to start with Sheamus taking over quickly. Alberto comes back with a kick to the ribs as we hear about the way too long feud they had over the summer. Sheamus comes back with a neckbreaker for two but he gets knocked to the apron. Del Rio kicks Sheamus’ leg out and sends him face first into the apron. Here’s Big Show to watch as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of something, only to get kicked in the ribs to break it up. Del Rio uses Rollins’ Black Out to take Sheamus down, followed by a MOONSAULT of all things. It was a decent one at that but it only gets two on Sheamus. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all. Instead Del Rio goes up top and hooks the armbreaker over the ropes but has to let go due to the DQ threat.

Del Rio goes up one more time and dives into a shot to the ribs from Sheamus. Alberto misses a charge and gets caught on the apron. There are the ten forearms followed by a suplex and the Battering Ram for two. Alberto hits a Backstabber (backbreaker according to Josh) for two but the armbreaker is escaped. Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio hits the enziguri for two. An attempt at a second moosault misses and it’s the Irish Curse and Cloverleaf for the submission win by Sheamus at 9:11 shown of 12:41.

Rating: C+. As boring as the feud was, the matches weren’t that bad. Thankfully Del Rio has been starting to use that enziguri more often, because there’s no way the armbreaker is going to work against some of his opponents. Anyway, decent match here, but the rest of the show has been so bad that it’s hard to care about this point.

Post match Show comes in to beg Sheamus to hit him. He closes his eyes while Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but instead Sheamus throws Ricardo into Show’s crotch to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Most of the show was about Sheamus vs. Big Show, but we’re not allowed to see any contact between the two of them. The rest of it was about random matches that are vaguely connected to the PPV at best. Nothing here at all without even a single quality match. Bad episode as Smackdown is back to what it’s getting into a pattern of: being worthless.

Results

Big Show b. Daniel Bryan – Chokeslam

3MB b. Brodus Clay/Usos – Future Shock to Jimmy

Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO

Hornswoggle/Great Khali b. Epico/Primo – Tadpole Splash to Epico

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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