Impact Wrestling – December 13, 2012: I Hate Nepotism

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

It’s after Final Resolution now and we’re heading towards Genesis in January. After one of the least interesting PPVs I can remember in years on Sunday, hopefully things pick up a bit this week. If my math is correct, we’re probably coming up on another gimmick show in a few weeks because where would we be without those? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the major plot points from Sunday.

Here’s Bobby Roode to open the show and he’s ticked off. He says that he made a business investment with Aces and 8’s but he got ripped off. Roode wants answers and he wants them NOW. Here are the bikers and D-Von says they were offered a better deal. Roode demands to know who outbid him and it’s…..not going to be revealed right now. D-Von says you might find out later tonight.

Cue Hardy and Storm who want to fight right now. They storm (no pun intended) the ring and clear out the unmasked bikers and for some reason, the armed bikers who have a numbers advantage bail.

Velvet talks about being in Championship Thursday next week.

Mickie is upset about losing last week.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

We’ve got Madison in the always hot blue camo and Velvet in a black catsuit. I’m happy. Velvet takes over to start and hits some kicks to the back as we hear about Aces and 8’s vs. Storm/Hardy in the main event tonight. Great, ANOTHER match the bikers get to lose. Madison comes back with a shot to the chest and stands on Velvet’s hair a bit. There’s that pelvic thrust thing that Madison does which I think is supposed to be sexy in some way. Velvet makes a comeback and hits an X Factor for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. The only thing keeping this from being a failure is how good the girls look. This was as dull as almost any match I can remember in months, with absolutely nothing standing out at all. I get that Velvet is back and all, but it’s not like she’s some kind of savior or anything like that.

Garrett, Wes and Kurt do a 5 Hour Energy commercial.

Kaz and Daniels brag a bit.

We recap the eight man tag from Sunday, which much like everything else on Sunday, was nothing.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff

Angle is with the small guys. The Robs attack from behind to start and T starts with Wes. Big Rob pounds away and works over Wes’ back before it’s off to E. Hot tag brings in Garrett and the fans just dno’t care. House is cleaned and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker staggers T and Wes hits a top rope cross body for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. I do not care about Brisco and Bischoff and that’s all there is to it. They’re just not interesting in the ring or on the mic or in any way whatsoever. They have jobs because of who their fathers are and that’s not something that interests me in the slightest. If TNA thinks we’re going to care about them if/when they join Aces and 8’s, TNA is crazier than I thought.

Post match a member of Aces and 8’s hits Kurt in the knee with a pipe, injuring him before his match next week against D-Von.

Angle’s knee is messed up in the back. Word on the street (as in Angle’s Twitter) is that Kurt has a groin injury so I guess this is their out.

Joseph Park (driving a Beetle) goes to OVW to train. He meets Danny Davis, the OVW owner, and says he’ll start training right now. Park runs laps around the ring and does situps while Davis yells at him. He also vomits in a trashcan. More on this later I’m assuming.

Tara and Jesse come in to annoy Brooke. Apparently it’s Jesse vs. Ray tonight and Brooke has very little to say. She’s another person I can’t stand for the most part.

1-3-13 video again.

Kenny King is ready for RVD again tonight.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Doc and the big guy, which is Mike Knox. Storm and Doc start things off with James pounding away before bringing in Hardy. Hardy gets to pound on the big guy now, which is rather pitiful looking given how bad Jeff’s punches are. He knocks both guys to the floor and hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Hardy kicking Doc in the face but getting clotheslined by the big guy.

The bikers pound away on Jeff on the floor before taking turns unleashing their wide variety of punches and kicks. The big guy literally just lays on Jeff as this is already dull. The beating goes on for a good while with Doc using a long chinlock. Jeff fights up but can’t escape, resulting in him being sent out to the floor. Off to another chinlock which Hardy finally escapes and hits the Whisper in the Wind. Not that it leads to the hot tag or anything but at least was something different.

Hardy hits the mule kick and FINALLY brings in Storm. House is cleaned and a top rope cross body gets two on the big guy. Poetry in Motion hits the masked guy and the other bikers come in. D-Von drops the bat….and it doesn’t matter as Last Call takes out Doc and the Twist pins the masked guy at 14:42.

Rating: D+. FREAKING DO SOMETHING WITH ACES AND 8’S ALREADY!!!!! They had like six guys on two here and they STILL couldn’t win? The match was fine with Hardy selling like a master like only he could, but Aces and 8’s are just such a waste of space anymore. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s can’t win when they have this big of an advantage. So why should I ever be intimidated by them?

D-Von reveals that it was Aries that paid them more money on Sunday. Not that Hardy and Storm were the ones asking but whatever.

Roode erupts on Hogan in the back about Aries when Aries calls Hulk. Hogan says get here soon and tells Roode to calm down.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ on Sunday with AJ finally losing to Daniels clean.

Here’s AJ to address what happened on Sunday. He’s upset about losing, so the fans tell him that he’s still got it. AJ says he’s not going anywhere but he’s tired of looking after everyone else all the time. It’s time to look after AJ Styles and it has nothing to do with the Impact Zone, Dixie Carter or Impact Wrestling. He’s tired of cleaning up every corporate mess and always doing the right thing. From now on, he’s going to do his own thing. Ok then. This didn’t come off like a heel turn.

Dixie gets AJ’s shirt thrown in her face.

Daniels and Kaz celebrate and Kaz has a surprise for Daniels.

Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam

This is the non-title version of a match that wasn’t good when the title was on the line. They trade kicks and armdrags to start until RVD gets in a kick to take over. Kenny kicks a lackadaisical RVD to the floor and hits a corkscrew dive for two. Back in and King hits a floatover suplex and right hands as he’s playing the heel in the match. Kenny hits a kind of splash in the corner but a second attempt hits a kick from Van Dam.

A top rope legdrop hits King for two but he comes back with a springboard Blockbuster (kind of at least) for two. Van Dam avoids a charge in the corner but misses a split legged moonsault. The northern lights suplex gets two for Rob and he takes Kenny’s head off with a stepover kick. Van Dam goes up for a cross body but King rolls through and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C. This was easily the best match of the night so far and WAY better than the match on Sunday. King turning heel is a good fit for him as he has a lot of Shelton Benjamin in him: insanely athletic but needing a bit more of an attitude. Good stuff here and it’s a decent feud for RVD at least.

Bully Ray comes in to see Hogan and wants to know where Hogan stands on things. Hogan is all ticked off and wants to know why Ray is making his personal stuff Hogan’s business. He blames Bully for Brooke being in danger and says he hasn’t changed his stance on Ray at all. Ray GOES NUTS, and suggests he has nothing to do with Brooke and that it’s a one way street.

He says that Brooke was apologizing for Hulk, which Hogan somehow twists into Brooke and Ray should never be around each other again. Ray goes on a big rant about how he should be on Team Hogan (egads there’s a freaking Team Hogan now?) after everything he’s been through and Hulk needs to realize his daughter is a grown woman. Ray leaves and Hogan calls him weak. Good grief they have an interesting story like this and it’s all about Brooke Hogan. Is ANYBODY surprised by that?

Bully Ray vs. Jesse Godderz

Ray chases Jesse and Tara out of the ring and pounds on Jesse to start. This turns into a total squash with Ray just destroying Jesse and no selling any offense from him. Ray hits a chop in the corner that actually makes me cringe. The fans get another chop that they demand and Tara comes in. Thankfully it’s not a DQ as she only gets spanked once and leaves. Jesse jumps Bully from behind and takes over with some forearms. Godderz pounds away but Ray comes back with a single chop. Jesse actually clotheslines Ray down but Bully shrugs it all off and wins with the Bubba Cutter at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was way better than I was expecting and the chops alone make the match worth seeing. Ray is getting more and more awesome every week, but unfortunately this is all being wasted on Brooke freaking Hogan, because being Hulk Hogan’s daughter isn’t enough publicity for her or something like that. Hopefully Ray can actually win an important match soon.

Aries gets here.

1-3-13 video again.

We recap the ending of the PPV and the announcement of Aries as the guy who gave the bigger offer to the bikers. Aries talks about how he was in the war with Aces and 8’s but he never got paid for helping against them or anything like that. He wants the title back, so here’s Hardy. Hardy says all Aries had to do was ask but Aries says he has to jump through hoops to get his match. Jeff offers Aries a title shot right here next week in the Impact Zone. Aries says he’ll do it on his time. Oh good grief. Hardy punches him and they fight with Hardy hitting the Twist. The show goes off the air at 9:58. Ok then.

Overall Rating: D+. The last forty five minutes weren’t horrible but the rest of the show was some pretty dull stuff. Ray continues to be awesome, but man alive the Brooke Hogan, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco stuff drags down almost anything good they’ve got going on. Aries, Roode and Hardy isn’t bad, but it needs something more than these guys guys just going back and forth like they’re doing.

Results

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – X Factor

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Top rope cross body to Robbie T

Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Aces and 8’s – Twist of Fate to Masked Man

Bully Ray b. Jesse Godderz – Bubba Cutter

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