No Mercy 2000: Austin’s Revenge And Angle’s Ascension

No Mercy 2000
Date: October 22, 2000
Location: Pepsi Center, Albany, New York
Attendance: 14,342
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was another request so I thought I’d knock this one out rather quickly. Not much special on this card with a main event of Angle vs. Rock for the title in what should be an easy win for the Great One. The other main match is Austin getting Rikishi after he was revealed as the driver of the car. The feud bombed so HHH was brought in soon but we’ll get to that later. There’s also HHH vs. Benoit but most importantly, MIDEON IS HERE! This was one of the weirder gimmicks of all time but it’s here tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course focused on Austin and Rikishi which is how it should be. He’ll have no mercy on him. Get it?

Tag Team Table Gauntlet Match

We start with Too Cool vs. Low Down (Chaz (Headbanger Mosh) and D’lo Brown). There are five teams total. I’ve never been a fan of gauntlet matches as you have to go so fast and it looks like you can beat a team in mere minutes but other times they take two or three times as long to get such a win. No tagging here of course. Chaz looks like Maven minus the eyebrows.

Austin isn’t here yet which is the highlight of the commentary of course. Lawler lists off various uses for tables. His favorite: table dances. Now who didn’t see that coming? It amazes me that this was against Halloween Havoc 2000. You can really see the difference between the two companies as everything there seemed old and dying but this looks very fresh and interesting.

Sky High on Grandmaster as we talk about Edge and Christian being sick. Low Down goes for a double table shot but Grandmaster gets off his table and Scotty shoves Chaz off the top into his so Low Down has been eliminated. The next team is Taz and Raven who I never remember teaming together at all. They bring their own table as Jerry makes shootout jokes.

We start on the floor and Scotty goes up to the apron to put Raven through. Taz, thinking for once, grabs Scotty while he poses and throws the Tazmission on him. Raven tries to suplex Grandmaster to the floor through one but Grandmaster reverses into a sunset powerbomb but his feet break it. They need to fire whoever makes these tables as they kind of suck. Scotty does the worm under a table and because it ticks him off, Tazz throws Scotty through one to advance him and Rave.

The Dudleys are the fourth team. It’s hard to believe they had been around for a year at this point. D-Von is thrown into Raven as I want to chant ECW. Taz and Bubba go at it for a bit. Opening a WWF show after main eventing an ECW show. That’s nearly poetic. What’s Up to Raven and it’s table time. BIG table chant but they brawl for a bit instead. And it all means nothing as a top rope legdrop gets the Dudleys to the finals.

The final team is the Right to Censor which is comprised of Buchanan and the Goodfather. I always hated that name as it just sounds stupid. Big brawl to start as the non white people go to the floor. There are two tables in the ring as Bull blocks an Bubba Bomb. Down goes the referee as Bubba puts Buchanan through the table. Goodfather cracks Bubba with a chair and puts him on the broken table for the win.

And never mind as another referee is here to restart the match. 3D on Goodfather ends it like 45 seconds later.

Rating: C. Eh this was fine for an opener as the fans loved it. Not something you can grade for quality or anything of course due to the nature of the match but for what it was supposed to be this was fine. The Dudleys and their tables were always popular but the ending was a bit predictable. I could think of worse uses for about 13 minutes though.

Trish is with T&A in the back and implies she should flash the Acolytes to distract them.

Rikishi is waiting outside for Austin.

We recap T&A vs. the APA as there was a strip poker game that resulted in them seeing Trish lose her clothes. T&A beat up Lita for no apparent reason other than to set this match up.

APA/Lita vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

Test and Albert if you’re confused. Lita is Women’s Champion here but Trish is a joke as far as in ring stuff goes at this point. In the back we see T&A over Bradshaw who is out cold. They beat up Farrooq also which I think led to them taking some time off. The big heels come to the arena to beat up Lita too. Matt and Jeff, the current tag champions, make the save.

Edge and Christian say their nuts are fine. Peanuts that is. This was about as sophomoric as you could ask for but it was amusing.

Rikishi is still waiting.

Chris Jericho vs. X–Pac

Cage match. Before the match Jericho says they’re feuding and have been for so long he doesn’t even remember why they hate each other. He makes fun of him for never changing anything about himself but it ends tonight. New tights for X-Pac in a funny moment. Jericho hits a baseball slide to the floor to start and we brawl outside the cage to start. Pac never got in so that helps a bit.

Pac misses a huge chair shot and we finally get inside the cage. Standard stuff that you would expect from these two to start us off. Nice springboard dropkick to the leg of Pac to keep him in the cage. Mostly advantage to the non-Canadian (I try to avoid saying the same names over and over again if anyone wonder why I say such odd names at times) here as we wait for the Jericho comeback.

Sweet goodness X-Pac was just not interesting at all. BIG super bomb off the top to half kill X-Pac but Jericho is down too. Jericho goes for the cage but Pac grabs his foot. Jericho kicks him in the face to take care of that. I love basic counters like those. Pac goes for the door and manages to get the chair he swung earlier before Jericho makes the save.

He clocks Jericho with the chair but takes a shot of his own. JR says his eyes look glazed over but that’s typical for him. They go up to the top of the cage where Jericho gets the Walls or a Sharpshooter or something around one of the cables that they raise and lower the cage with. Pac throws him down but celebrates too long which standing on the door. Jericho of course dropkicks it and goes out to win as Pac is left crotched.

Rating: C-. Really nothing special here as Pac was beyond uninteresting at this point. I get that this was a feud but did this really warrant a PPV cage match? It wasn’t bad and the ending worked pretty well I thought, but the match just wasn’t all that interesting at all. Pretty bland though.

Steve Blackman is at WWF New York.

Rikishi yells at Foley about Austin not being here yet.

We see Eddie being injured so he’s out of the match tonight vs. Billy for the IC Title. Instead we get RTC vs. Billy and Chyna. Chyna, who looks more manly than Billy, as in more than usual, says they’ll beat up Eddie. Billy kind of hits on her but that perm is making it too hard to focus on what he’s saying.

Val Venis/Steven Richards vs. Billy Gunn/Chyna

Steven refers to Gunn as rectally obsessed. That somehow fits. Who came up with that gimmick?  They need to be drug out into the street and shot. Val and Rikishi start us off which is as riveting as it sounds. Val punches Chyna on the floor and goes into the steps for his troubles. This is going nowhere fast. I hate that expression but it fits here.

Chyna spins Richards around by the tie. She goes off on him and the heels are in trouble. Val goes after the arm of Billy as this is setting new standards for boring. Chyna gets a very weak tag for the beatdown. Handspring elbow to Val as Billy helps to beat him up. Pedigree attempt but Eddie comes down to hit her with the loaded flowers and Val gets the pin.

Rating: F. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. I get the injury thing but at the same time this had nothing at all to it. Get on to the next match please.

HHH is in his dressing room and Stephanie wants to come to the ring with him. He says no and she gives him a tape of Benoit using the Crossface. She has to leave to go help Kurt get ready, meaning the Game isn’t happy.

We recap Rikishi vs. Austin. The fat man ran him over at Survivor Series 1999 so that Austin could take a year off to finally get his neck fixed. He came back to go on a manhunt which was really confusing because they kept saying Rikishi hadn’t debuted yet but he had that night on Heat which wasn’t mentioned so it was really confusing to me as I watched Heat. Anyway he said he did it for the Rock as Rock became popular without Austin being around.

Steve Austin vs. Rikishi

This is no rules of course as Austin pointed out that he didn’t want a match but to hurt Rikishi which makes sense. Austin’s line of “this match is going to take brutality to a whole other level” is the iconic line here but it didn’t quite live up to it. No Austin yet remember. Rikishi comes out with the sledgehammer as I guess they’re foreshadowing the HHH involvement.

Rikishi demands that Foley come out here and declare him the winner. And before anything happens here comes Austin with truck. No reason for why he’s late or anything but why would we need that? It’s the same truck that Rikishi destroyed with the hammer. Austin is in shorts and the t-shirt which fits I think. Rikishi goes into the table as this is just a big fight.

Ross thinks Rikishi has no heart. Wouldn’t that mean he’s like dead? They’re in the crowd already as they never were in the ring at all. Austin whips him with his belt as this is just a big brawl. There just happens to be a rope under the ring but Austin goes over the table. It’s no sold of course and HE’S IN THE RING! And so much for that. Big chairshot takes the fat man down and I think he’s busted open.

Austin throws on JR’s hat for no apparent reason and wears Rikishi out with the chair. He knocks the Samoan into the back of the truck and drives the truck out of the arena. This isn’t going to end well is it? Austin puts Rikishi in front of a wall and backs up the truck but a cop car drives in front of it for the save. He gets arrested for old time’s sake.

Rating: D-. Yeah this failed. It was a big old brawl ending with the bad truck thing. The problem was that at the end of the day the Rikishi was way too fat and way too bad as a heel to be worth much. This feud bombed and everyone knew it which is why at Survivor Series Austin dropped HHH from a forklift instead of a Samoan.

And now we replay the ending of the match for no apparent reason. Are they afraid people reached over to pet their cat during the ending of the match?

European Title: William Regal vs. Mideon

That’s his official name mind you. It’s not some random nickname I gave him. Basically he wrestles in a thong and a fanny pack. He comes out in regular clothes but tries to rip them off during the match. Apparently he’s trying to get strip, making him the Kelly Kelly from the old ECW days of this generation. Mideon keeps wanting to take his clothes off but just doesn’t for some reason.

Lawler says he’s a great chain wrestler. He can beat any chain you put him up against. Eh half a point for a decent line. Pretty much total dominance by Regal here. Mideon gets his shirt off and continuously pulls his pants up. Wouldn’t that be against his character in theory? Crowd is DEAD here mind you. And there go the pants. Regal sets for the Stretch but thinks twice about it. A neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D-. Totally pointless match where nothing of note happened and the comedy didn’t exist. Mideon was hardly a character that was ever going to really do anywhere and I have no idea what the point of this being on the show was. This was a waste of time but I guess it bridges the gap between the big matches.

We recap a rather funny fake interview that Angle conducted with videos of Rock. Funny stuff.

Los Conquistadores say SI a lot.

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Los Conquistadores

The other team used to be jobbers back in the 80s but these guys are Edge and Christian under masks which is the point of the joke. Christian and Matt start us off. This is more or less a comedy match as the Hardys just beat up the masked guys who do odd offense to prevent anyone from finding out who they actually are.

Jeff is the stoner in peril here as nothing really is happening here. Christian misses a front flip splash off the top to set up the tag to Matt. Matt fights them both off as we’re getting close to the end. Jeff does the rail run to take out Edge. Matt hits a big dive to take out everyone at once. Back in the ring and Matt pulls off his mask to reveal another mask. Unprettier ends him.

Rating: C. This was a hard one to grade as the idea was more along the lines of a comedy match. The title change was a surprise but the way they switched them back is even better. Edge and Christian came out to challenge Los Conquistadores to prove that they weren’t in the masks but Los Conquistadores, who were already the champions, beat them to keep the titles. They unmasked as the Hardys and were declared champions as they were under the masks, meaning in theory they defeated themselves for the titles but you get the idea. Fun match.

Austin’s truck is taken away by a tow truck.

HHH watches video of Benoit beating him up.

We recap Benoit vs. HHH which started with Benoit hitting Stephanie with a headbutt and then going after her even more. I think HHH might be a face here actually which makes little sense but he’s getting something resembling a face pop for his entrance here and JR seems to imply he’s a face so maybe he is. This should probably go in the match part of this.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

This should be good. Slow start of course but HHH goes for the knee which is a new one for him. Yep there’s a loud HHH chant which isn’t what I would have bet on at all. It’s kind of weird to see him work over it like that. Benoit tries to wrestle him but HHH gets us into an Indian Deathlock. He adds a neck vice to it also which makes it kind of an STF with the guy putting in on being upside down. Pretty sick looking.

HHH goes over the top and might have a bad arm now. Naturally Benoit goes straight for it as any good wolverine would. Northern Lights suplex gets two. This really should have been the main event of Mania XX. HHH goes onto the table as Benoit is dominating. HHH counters a belly to back into a reverse suplex which is a move more people should use.

They slug it out as this is good stuff. Leaping knee to the face has Benoit in trouble. HHH goes all the way up for a superplex and both guys are down. Here come the Germans as Benoit takes over again. What was supposed to be a Dragon suplex looks like a German and gets two. A second is somewhat better but HHH is in trouble now. Crossface out of nowhere and HHH is in big trouble.

It never ceases to amaze me how much longer good guys can last in submission holds rather than heels. In something you’ll probably never see again, HHH gets up and counters the Crossface into a Death Valley Driver. Stephanie runs (best part of the match!) down and slaps Benoit. Pedigree is countered into the Crossface which is countered into the Pedigree which is countered into the Crossface which is countered into a low blow which results in a Pedigree which results in the pin. VERY nice ending.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys looking completely comfortable out there. I’d have liked to see what HHH could have become had he been able to stay heel rather than having to turn again for the sake of saving the Austin story from the awfulness that Rikishi was. Still though, solid match here with a very good ending.

Edge and Christian congratulate Los Conquistadores and apparently there’s a tag title match on Raw. VIVA ESSA RIOS!

Recap of Angle vs. Rock. Benoit cost HHH a #1 contenders match by going after Stephanie. HHH told Stephanie to stay away from the ring as she’s a liability. Kurt more or less stole her and she’s his manager now. Rock is all shaken up by finding out that Rikishi did everything and ran over Austin so he’s a bit off.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

This is announced as No DQ as Kurt comes to the ring which is a new development. Stephanie distracts Rock and Angle gets a quick advantage to start. Angle gets a chair shot on the floor and Rock is in trouble. Back in the ring a Samoan Drop gets two for the champion. Angle tries to leave for some reason but Rock makes the stop. Rock throws him through the set as this is a big brawl.

Ross says that Angle is challenging for the richest prize in the Game. Is this suddenly a match taking place inside of HHH? Is the belt his pancreas or something? Stephanie chokes Rock behind the referee’s back as Ross says she’s legally breaking the rules. If it’s legal, how is she still breaking the rules? Rock gets a chair shot to his ankle. This was before the ankle lock I think.

Dragon screw leg whip sets up the Sharpshooter and he taps out as Stephanie has the referee. Angle is continuously selling the knee having it start off as a big hindrance and moving on to a slightly weaker one which is very impressive. He gets a long chinlock to kill some time but winds up on the floor and we’re back outside again.

Angle tries to get a belt shot while Stephanie gets the referee. I don’t get the whole thinking here but they’re trying at least. Angle misses the perfect moonsault and we slug it out. Rock punches the heck out of him and takes over again. Again might be a stretch but you get the idea. A spinebuster sets for the Elbow but Stephanie makes the save. Rock Bottom for her but Angle stops the elbow.

And cue HHH who destroys….Kurt. Ah there’s the Pedigree for the Rock too. That’s more like it. HHH carries Stephanie out as Angle covers for two and a big pop on the kickout. Rock gets a DDT for two as you can feel us getting to the ending. He sends Angle to the floor, walks around the ring with him and throws him back in. Even Rock can have an odd moment I guess.

Here’s Rikishi too as they continue trying to force this push down our throats no matter how hard it fails. He beats on Angle a bit as apparently he’s helping out his Samoan brethren. Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Rock can’t cover. The fat Samoan gets in and accidentally nails Rock in the corner and accidentally superkicks him. Both guys get Olympic Slams to give Angle his first of 9 (not 12 you freaking idiotic TNA) world titles to date.

Rating: B. This was of course solid as you would expect for these two. Angle was still kind of in over his head at this point as he hadn’t locked in that total insanity thing yet. The Rikishi interference was annoying but I get the HHH aspect at least. Amusingly enough Angle won the title once Stephanie left rather than while she was there. Solid match but their rematch in February where Rock would get the title back would be better.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much here other than the last two matches but it wasn’t horrible. This company was the polar opposite of WCW. Back then you had the young guys owning the top of the card while the old guys would be absolutely dreadful. Here though the first 2/3 of the show would be pretty weak but the main matches would rock the house.

The problem would come in about two years as the old guys stopped being interesting. This was an ok show but the two last matches were good. Nothing to go out of your way to see though. Things were thrown upside down as with HHH being turned but that had to happen for the sake of saving Austin which wasn’t his fault.

 

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