Impact Wrestling – April 18, 2013: Take The Midcard Out Back And Shoot It

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 18, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Taz, Mike Tenay

We’re getting closer to Slammiversary now but the main question is who challenges Bully Ray next? He’s already taken out Hardy and beaten him again in a rematch, so the next opponent isn’t clear yet. As for tonight, we’ve got AJ Styles vs. James Storm in what would be AJ’s first match in about six months. It should be interesting to see what he’s capable of at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a nice graphic about praying for the Boston bombings.

We get the usual recap to open things up.

Last week after Impact went off the air, Aces and 8’s attacked Hardy with the hammer and he was taken away in an ambulance.

D-Von gives Bischoff and Garrett a pep talk for their handicap match with Angle tonight.

Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco vs. Kurt Angle

We get a quick video package on Bischoff and Brisco being mentored by Angle before turning on him to join the bikers. Brisco starts things off with Kurt easily throwing him around. Angle rams him into a buckle and then throws Wes off to Bischoff for a tag. Kurt easily throws Bischoff around and even tosses Wes to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Angle getting punched down by Bischoff before it’s off to Brisco for a chinlock. Angle suplexes out of it and it’s time to unleash the rest of the suplexes. Both bikers get a few Germans including one to both of them at the same time. That was awesome. Ankle lock to Brisco but here are the other Aces and 8’s to distract the referee and throw Bischoff a chain. One shot with that and Angle is done at 11:03.

Rating: D+. Dull stuff here with Angle having to slow himself WAY down to let the other two keep up with him. Brisco isn’t bad and Bischoff is improving, but that’s not really saying much when you consider how far down he was to start things off. At least they’re winning matches now though.

Post match Bischoff and Brisco hit a double powerbomb on Angle. Anderson says they’re taking over tonight and wishes AJ luck in his match.

Zema Ion and Petey Williams talk about the threeway tonight.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Petey Williams

Ion is knocked to the floor very quickly and apparently the referee now has a camera on his head. King kicks Ion down but gets caught in a quick Canadian Destroyer for two. Ion gets two of his own and the challengers get in an argument. Williams hits a middle rope rana for two but Ion comes back with some shots of his own. King is still down on the floor.

Zema puts on a half crab for a bit until Petey makes a rope. The Destroyer is broken up but Williams dives on King. Petey hits a release german suplex on Ion and a slingshot rana on King. After Ion gets in some generic high flying offense, Petey locks him in the Sharpshooter until King makes the save and steals a pin on Ion to retain at 5:47.

Rating: D. This match exists and I can’t think of much else to say about it. Seriously that’s it. It wasn’t anything exciting, it was nothing we haven’t seen before, there’s no reason to care about any of this match because there’s no issue between any of these guys, and the title is worthless. Nothing to see here at all.

Magnus says he’ll win the TV Title tonight.

The Knockouts are getting their own website.

Brooke Hogan wishes Mickie and Tessmacher luck. Tessmacher tells Brooke she’s here if Brooke needs anything.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Magnus

Knux and Doc jump Magnus on the steps until D-Von comes up to make it 3-1. The big guys give Magnus a double chokeslam but Joe comes out to make the save. No match.

Joe says that he’s getting the title shot against D-Von tonight instead.

We recap the AJ story with him walking out oon TNA and now being offered a spot in both factions.

Video on Velvet Sky’s knee injury.

Mickie James vs. Miss Tessmacher

Winner gets a title match against Velvet. ODB is guest referee again. They go back and forth for a bit with nothing of note going on until things get heated fast. ODB says cool it so Tessmacher grabs a quick rollup for two. Mickie puts on an armbar but Tessmacher is in the ropes. They head to the floor and ODB breaks up another brawl before they go inside again.

Tessmacher pounds away and hits a kind of X Factor out of the corner before giving Mickie a Stink Face. Mickie comes back with a flapjack and the Thesz Press off the top for two. They clothesline each other because this match hasn’t gone on long enough yet. They start slugging it out….and we get a short highlight package of big moves in the match so far. Mickie gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 7:40.

Rating: D+. Business as usual for the Knockouts: two interchangeable chicks have a match for a title shot, then the title shot happens and that’s it. As usual, no story, the match was just ok, and there was nothing memorable about it at all. There is no focus on ANYTHING in the midcard at all and it’s getting really old.

D-Von harasses Joseph Park in the back until Bully jumps Park. Joseph gets choked by a chain and thrown into a shower.

Mickie says it’s time for her to be back.

Here’s Bad Influence for their sales pitch to AJ. Apparently the Bad Influence movie is in production and Morgan Freeman is in talks to play Dixie Carter. However, the important thing is that AJ is about to rejoin the band and they even have a shirt for him. First up though, they want the tag titles back and ask if the champions have the huevos to give them a shot.

Cue Aries and Roode for an interruption. Roode says he and Aries should get the title shot first. Daniels says that would work if Roode wasn’t Canadian because his opinion is only worth 75% of an American’s. Aries makes gay references and the insults start flying too fast to type. Chavo and Hernandez come in and Bad Influence bails. Aries and Roode turn around and get laid out by the champions.

We look at Hardy being injured again and hear from various wrestlers saying they have to unite against the bikers.

Recap of Aces and 8s’ carnage tonight.

Matt Morgan thinks it’s interesting that all this stuff with Aces and 8’s is going on when Hogan isn’t here. He lists off all of Hogan’s mistakes so far.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Samoa Joe

D-Von jumps Joe to start and chokes away with the towel. Joe fires back and pounds D-Von down into the corner as he’s all fired up here. D-Von gets in a shot of his own and starts choking away on the ropes followed by some choking in the corner for good measure. Off to a chinlock but Joe fights up and hits a quick enziguri. He loads up the MuscleBuster but here are Aces and 8’s for a distraction. Anderson hits Joe with a chain and D-Von gets the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D. What in the world are you expecting here? The match was like three and a half minutes long and had a run-in ending. D-Von is beyond worthless at this point but hey, he used to be part of a big time team so he must be worth something right? Nothing to see here for the most part, much like the rest of the matches tonight.

Post match Anderson hits Joe in the face with the knuckles again, seemingly injuring him in the process.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

AJ turns around to leave but Storm follows him up the ramp and beats him up. A suplex is blocked as is the Eye of the Storm. They trade right hands with Storm knocking Styles back into the ring for the opening bell. Storm pounds away but Styles kicks him down as we take a break. Back with AJ suplexing Storm and putting on a chinlock to slow things down a bit. Storm fights up and hits a kind of TKO for two but gets crotched when trying a superplex. AJ hits a Tree of Woe dropkick for two and here’s Bad Influence to cheer Styles on.

Closing Time hits AJ and a Cactus Clothesline sends them both to the floor. Back in and Storm hits another Closing Time but the Last Call is caught and AJ hooks a rolling let lock for the tap out at 10:54. It looked like a cross between an Indian Deathlock and a half crab. How rare is it to see Storm tap out?

Rating: B-. AJ looked good here which is a good sign given how long he’s been out of the ring for. He looked very crisp and in good shape so at least we don’t have to worry about ring rust. That leg lock wasn’t bad and AJ mostly wrestled heel here, which is fine for a change. Good first step back for Styles.

Post match AJ lays out Bad Influence and leaves the ring for Aces and 8’s to destroy everyone in sight. Ray says that they’re responsible for destroying all of the fans’ heroes like Hardy and Storm. He then contradicts himself by saying it’s all Hogan’s fault. Next week Ray is going to call Hogan out.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh sweet merciful goodness the midcard was on display here and SWEET MERCIFUL GOODNESS was it awful. There are no stories to these matches and the only story going on, which is the Bikers attacking various midcarders, has literally been done before with the same exact people. It’s very clear that the main event is the only thing with any development at all and it’s really dull otherwise. Bad show tonight to say the least.

Results

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Kurt Angle – Bischoff hit Angle with a chain

Kenny King b. Zema Ion and Petey Williams – King pinned Ion after a Sharpshooter from Williams

Mickie James b. Velvet Sky – Rollup

D-Von b. Samoa Joe – D-Von pinned Joe after Anderson hit him with brass knuckles

AJ Styles b. James Storm – Leg Lock

 

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