WWA Retribution: Two Debuting Guys Fight For One Of The World Titles

WWA: The Retribution
Date: February 9, 2003 (Taped December 6, 2002)
Location: Scottish Exhibition and Conference Center, Glasgow, Scotland
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Disco Inferno

Amazingly enough this company has made it through a year plus and are touring Europe as of this show. The main event is Luger vs. Sting for the vacant WWA World Title. Scott Steiner had won the title, only to sign with WWE. This resulted in the legendarily terrible Steiner vs. HHH matches, so the main event here has to be better. Like literally it’s not possible for a match to be worse. Let’s get to it.

We open with Australian guy named Andrew (from the other shows. I think he’s the owner) getting a phone call, saying that someone will be here. Mike Sanders is in his office and apparently he’ll be commissioner tonight.

Since we’re in Scotland, some bagpipe players come out of a castle set.

Borash brings out Disco Inferno to a lot of booing. I don’t know why or how he stayed in wrestling so long, but dang if he didn’t keep a job forever.

Kazarian vs. Shark Boy

TNA is around at this point but it’s still in its very early days, so there’s a chance these guys have both been there. It’s a smart move to have guys like these open the show as they should be able to fire up the crowd. Kaz looks almost identical to how he does ten years later, just with longer hair here. The lighting has a blue tint to it here and it sounds like the audio is coming through like normal commentaries do instead of through the arena speakers.

Disco gets the comedy going fast by suggesting that Shark Boy was conceived on the set of Jaws and may be the son of Richard Dreyfuss. Kaz is the heel here and gets caught by an early hiptoss and some chops in the corner. Sharky sends him to the floor and gets caught by a plancha. Kaz is pulled back in but sends Shark Boy into the middle buckle to take over. An atomic drop puts Kaz down and Sharky bites him on the trunks for good measure. The referee gets one too and the fans are way into Shark Boy.

Kaz comes back with a quick leg lariat to take over before getting two off a snap belly to belly suplex. We hit a quick chinlock but Sharky fights up, only to be backdropped out to the floor. Back in and a leg sweep takes Shark Boy down for two but Kaz misses a guillotine legdrop to give us a breather. Shark Boy comes back with right hands and a one knee Codebreaker for two.

Kaz has his head pounded in the corner and there’s a bite by Sharky for good measure. A top rope rana brings Kaz down for two but a SWEET bicycle kick takes Shark Boy down again. Kaz, still “The Future” at this point, hits Back to the Future (a bridging electric chair drop) for two, only to have Shark Boy take him to the corner for the Dead Sea Drop (dragon sleeper flipped over into a Stunner, more commonly known as Diamond Dust) and the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and the perfect kind of match to open a show like this. You take two fast paced guys and let them go out there for six minutes of high spots. It’s nothing great but it didn’t need to be. These are two young guys getting a shot and they did a good enough job with it so it’s a good start here.

Time for the traditional commissioner promo after the opening match, this time from Mike Sanders. He immediately calls Disco a jackass before playing to the crowd a bit. Some music randomly plays in what seems to be a technical issue. Sanders seems to be a face here despite being a heel for most of his career. He runs down the rest of the card before being interrupted by Joe E. Legend. For those of you unfamiliar, Legend is a journeyman who once lost clean to the Brooklyn Brawler on a WWF weekend show in 2001. Let that sink in for a bit.

Anyway Legend runs down the crowd with some very lame insults before talking about being the best this business has to offer. Legend talks about being the best this business has to offer and lists off some names he’s beaten such as Buff Bagwell, Luger, Sabu and Sting. I’d love to see any of those matches. He does get in a good line of “heroes come and go but legends live forever.” They trade gay jokes until Sanders flips him off. A match is made between the two of them for later tonight.

Konnan vs. Nate Webb

Some of you might know Webb from CZW. His nickname is Spyder and he looks like Vampiro. Perry Saturn jumps him as he comes in for no apparent reason before hitting a quick powerbomb, a Death Valley Driver and the Rings of Saturn. Webb is dead so the bell rings and Konnan pins him in three seconds.

Konnan jumps in on commentary and talks about how tiring that was. That’s not funny.

One of the midgets comes in to see Midajah and asks her to be his valet tonight. Puppet, the hardcore midget, comes in and says she’s his valet. Sanders comes in and makes Willy Wonka jokes. Midajah is made a referee for later. Eh her dress is low cut enough to make up for this.

Johnny Swinger/Buff Bagwell vs. Norman Smiley/Malice

Smiley comes out alone and gets jumped by the heels. Malice is more famous as The Wall from the dying days of WCW and was the initial monster heel of TNA. He and Smiley clear the ring and it’s already time to stall. Bagwell and Malice get things going as Disco is talking about Steve Austin for some reason. Buff pounds away a bit but walks into a spinebuster and backbreaker for no cover. Off to Swinger to pound on Malice, only to be thrown down as well.

Smiley comes in for some technical stuff, but it’s time to dance! A sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Norman as Johnny is in early trouble. Bagwell trips Norman up though, allowing Swinger to hit a jawbreaker to take over. Smiley gets elbowed down and it’s off to Buff to work on the back. Off to Swinger again to pound away on Smiley in the corner as this match is already slowing down. Buff comes back in to ram Smiley into the corner as Disco talks about Buff and Mike Sanders playing squash.

Swinger gets two off a neckbreaker as we’re just waiting on the hot tag to Malice. Smiley finally gets in a forearm to Buff’s face and it’s off to Malice. The big guy cleans house and throws Bagwell to the outside. Smiley slams Swinger down and we get the Big Wiggle, which involves Swinger being spanked. A low blow sends Norman reeling and the Buff Blockbuster pins Smiley.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse but this was only happening to fill in about twelve minutes of the PPV time. It’s clear that they don’t have much going on with stories at this point, meaning we’re likely to get a lot of matches between people with nothing in common and no reason to fight. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do anything of note.

NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett is here to get back at Nathan Jones for something not important enough to talk about.

Puppet vs. Teo

Midajah is guest referee and is there so she can wear tiny shorts and knee high boots. Teo starts with some punches in the corner but gets caught in a bulldog for two. The smaller one (Teo) stomps away in the corner and seems to have the fans actually caring for him. Puppet comes back with a release TKO for no cover. He finally puts a boot on Teo’s chest for a VERY slow two from Midajah. Teo hits a middle rope missile dropkick for no cover before going up top and hitting a Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D-. The shorts looked good and that’s about it. I mean the ones on Midajah, not the short guys in the ring. I don’t care for these kind of matches as they’re not interesting or funny and I really don’t get the appeal of them. Puppet would annoy fans in TNA for weeks as well, resulting in him pulling a gun on someone.

Post match Saturn runs in and beats both guys down before saying he had an open contract for tonight. He hits on Midajah and kisses her before dragging her to the back.

Joe E. Legend vs. Mike Sanders

Joey pounds away in the corner to start but Sanders comes back with right hands of his own. Mike is sent to the apron and comes back in with a slingshot headscissors before whipping Legend to the floor. With nothing happening on the outside we go back in for Legend to stomp Mike down in the corner. An armdrag gets three straight near falls for Legend and it’s off to a cravate. Mike clotheslines him down but Legend nips up and takes Mike’s head off with a clothesline of his own.

A high kick to Sanders’ head gets another two count so he whips Sanders hard into the corner. Legend gets another two count off a sitout powerbomb but Mike puts him down with a release German suplex. Mike makes a basic comeback with a backdrop and a kick to the chest, followed by a knee drop for two. Legend hits a kind of clothesline to set up a good looking guillotine legdrop for two. Mike comes back again with a neckbreaker for two, only to get caught in a driving knee to the back of the head (think like a Fameasser) for two more. Joey misses a moonsault and gets superkicked down for the pin.

Rating: D. There was nothing here but a bunch of spots. At the end of the day there was no story or reason for this match to happen other than Joey (has anyone ever seen him wrestle before?) insulting the Scottish people. Sanders was WAY out of his element as a face here, making the match yet another filler piece.

Post match Sanders hypes up the no rules three way dance with Simon Diamond, Sabu and Saturn.

Lex Luger, in Philadelphia 76ers gear for some reason, says that he and Sting have been friends for years (aside from Luger hiring a bunch of madmen to try to take him out back in the early 90s) but tonight they’re both going to have fun fighting for a title.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Nathan Jones

Jarrett is defending in case you’re very new at this. Jones is a 7ft monster but absolutely terrible in the ring. Apparently these two have traded wins recently. The referee here looks to be about 857 years old. Nathan shoves him down to start but gets punched in the corner. Jones charges into a pair of boots in the corner but grabs Jeff for a chokeslam. The champ kicks him in the leg to stop the choke, only to be caught in a spinning side slam.

A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Jarrett is in trouble. Jones picks up a chair which is promptly taken away from him and we go back inside. Jeff kicks the knee out again and hits the running crotch attack in 619 position. Off to a sleeper by the champ who is apparently bleeding from the eye. After that gets broken up, Jeff bails to the floor and wedges a chair between the top and middle ropes.

Jones hits a Samoan drop to free the chair and get a near fall at the same time. Back up and Nathan goes for the chokeslam, only to have Jeff throw the referee into the grip instead. For some reason Nathan doesn’t just, you know, LET GO, he throws the referee into the corner, allowing Jarrett to bash Jones with the guitar to retain.

Rating: D. It’s very clear that Jones has nothing to offer at all other than a good look. He would join the WWE soon after this and be one of the biggest busts in recorded history, being taken out of Wrestlemania due to the company thinking there was no way he could be put on live television. Nothing to see here other than a token title defense.

Sabu vs. Simon Diamond vs. Perry Saturn

This is a hardcore match because Sabu can’t wrestle anything else. Saturn is freshly released from WWE and has been out for awhile with a knee injury. Disco does the intros here for no apparent reason. Before the match, Simon complains about having to be in a hardcore match despite being a top level athlete. Saturn still has the kidnapped Midajah with him here. She’s also in a different outfit than she was earlier.

The fans immediately chant for ECW, obviously getting what the promoters were shooting for. Diamond gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor. Saturn throws Sabu down but Sabu trips him up, leading to a slugout. Diamond comes back in when they both go down for near falls on both guys. Saturn hiptosses Sabu to the floor but gets rolled up by Simon, as this three way battle of the S’s continues.

Sabu comes back in for a triple headlock spot (usually a sleeper in ECW but I guess WWE bought that concept in the acquisition) before Diamond is sent to the floor. A spear by Saturn puts Sabu down, only for Sabu to come back with a springboard leg lariat for two. Diamond and Saturn go to the floor while Sabu sets up a chair in the ring. A BIG dive takes out everyone and we all lay down on the floor for a bit. Diamond and Saturn seem to hook up, but Sabu pelts the chair at Saturn’s head as he comes back in.

Time for Simon vs. Sabu for a bit but Saturn comes back in and rams the chair into Sabu’s throat. Midajah is still at ringside despite her captor being occupied in the ring. Saturn suplexes both guys down but doesn’t seem interested in going for a pin. Diamond is back in now to clothesline Saturn down and put Sabu in a shoulder hold on the mat. Saturn is busted open badly around his eye. With Sabu down, Simon puts on an armbar at the same time that Saturn puts on a leg lock. Simon lets go first to stop Saturn before loading up a table on the floor.

Diamond tries to suplex Sabu over the top and through the table but it’s Saturn making the save with a chair shot to the ribs. Simon falls to the floor so Saturn can pose for a bit. He poses too long though and Simon comes back in with a suplex to take Saturn down. Sabu hits Saturn with the chair and hits the Arabian Facebuster on Simon. Saturn is laid out on the table outside as Simon is ranaed off the top by Sabu. Perry comes back in with a top rope elbow drop on Simon for no cover.

Now it’s Sabu taking over with running leg lariats to both guys but Saturn breaks up the Triple Jump Moonsault. There are the Rings of Saturn on Sabu but Simon makes the save. An electric chair puts Saturn down but a clothesline puts Simon on the floor. Saturn suplexes Diamond through the table before loading up another one. Diamond is laid out on the table where Sabu dives through it and him.

Cue the freaking midgets again to beat up Saturn with kendo sticks, drawing in Midajah. She defends Saturn for absolutely no apparent reason, allowing Saturn to get two on Sabu after a Death Valley Driver. All the guys are down so the midgets strip Midajah. Saturn covers her up and walks out as Simon hits a reverse DDT for two on Sabu. The chair is pelted at a diving Diamond and it’s a Triple Jump Moonsault to Simon’s legs for the pin, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D. WHO DECIDED TO GIVE THIS SEVENTEEN FREAKING MINUTES????? Sabu is the kind of guy who should never be given more than about eight minutes, so these knuckleheads decided to DOUBLE that? The match was the biggest collection of mostly missing spots that you’ll see this side of ECW, but it had tables in it so it’s awesome right?

Sting says he knows Luger but tonight it’s about the title. He talks about building character over the last 18 months, which has made him stronger but driven Luger nuts.

WWA World Title: Sting vs. Lex Luger

This is both guy’s debut with the promotion, so naturally they’re in a world title match. Luger picks up the ball bat but hands it to Sting as the fight begins. Sting knocks him to the floor and Luger stalls early on. Back in and Sting takes him right back to the floor with a clothesline. Since that much wrestling is too much for Luger, he grabs a mic and says if that’s how Sting wants to play, so be it.

Now Sting gets a mic and says that we’re in Scotland. This is in the middle of the match remember. He talks some trash about Luger and the fans chant something at him. Luger takes it to the floor again and Sting misses the Splash against the barricade. Back in and Sting kicks him in the leg but a top rope splash hits knees. Some weak kicks to the ribs have Sting in more trouble before they collide, allowing Sting to do his falling headbutt to the crotch spot. Sting takes over with his usual clotheslines and faceplant but the referee is caught by the Stinger Splash. Jarrett, two guitars to Sting, Luger wins the title.

Rating: F. This was a seven minute match and they cut two promos in the middle of it. Luger wrestled enough to fill a 90 second match and walks out with the world title as a result. This was to set up Sting vs. Jarrett, as Sting won the title a week later at a house show. Anyway, TERRIBLE match here and an embarrassment for both guys.

The announcers wrap things up (for five minutes) to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. When a six minute match between Shark Boy and Kazarian that is ok at best if you REALLY stretch it is the match of the night, you’ve got a major problem. This show absolutely sucked and was the longest two hours I can remember sitting through in a long time.There are no stories anywhere in sight and it’s clearly just a bunch of guys having matches because it’s a cheap payday.  Absolutely terrible stuff and thank goodness there’s only one show left.

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