Someone brought this up on the forums last night and it’s an interesting question.Who do you think is the funniest promo guy of all time? For me, it’s Flair. When he would get rolling and ranting about making Nikita Koloff his gardener and that his shoes were more expensive than Dusty’s house he would have me in stitches.
Your picks?
Monday Night Raw – March 15, 1999: This Isn’t A Wrestling Show Anymore
Monday Night Raw Date: March 15, 1999
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,146
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
We’ve only got two weeks left before Wrestlemania and the card is pretty much ready to go. Well in the world of logical booking and common sense it is. The Wrestlemania 15 card will change a lot tonight for reasons that I’m sure will make me roll my eyes and want to punch someone in the face over. Also hopefully Paul Wight is dubbed Big Show soon because it’s hard not to call him that. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Rock and Big Show’s (finally called that) issues. Rock slapped Big Show last night on Heat before Big Show lifted the ring off the floor. Why Rock didn’t just hop out is beyond me.
Here’s Rock to open the show. I love how he holds the belt in his arm like a football. He talks about how Austin has 13 days before the beating of his life, but the fans stop him to say that Rocky sucks. Austin should go lay down on the train tracks because the Smackdown Express is about to run him over. As for Big Show, Rock knew he couldn’t trust him but it’s clear that Austin and Big Show are in cahoots. He wants Vince out here right now or he’ll kick his roody poo candy…..but Rock has to stop to remind the fans that THIS IS NOT SING A LONG WITH THE ROCK!
Anyway cue Vince who looks very annoyed at this inconvenience. He thinks that Rock is cooking a big load of monkey crap because all this Rock stuff is going to the champ’s head. Maybe Dwayne needs a reality check. Vince asks Rock about the stuff the McMahon family has done for Rock’s family and says that the championship belongs to Vince, not the Rock. However, Rock isn’t going to lose that title to Austin. Vince’s family has been looking out for Rock’s family for three generations so he’s going to protect Rock now. He’s brought in Big Show to help Rock and the Corporation and Show has done a lot for Rock already.
This brings out Big Show himself and he’s not pleased with what Vince is implying about him. Maybe Big Show should cash in one of his big checks on the Rock and then use the change on Vince. McMahon says he pays Big Show and that means Big Show does what he says. Show chokes Vince into the corner but Vince says this is what Austin and the people want. Instead, they’re going to get Rock and Big Show vs. Mankind and Austin. Rock and Big Show shake hands,
Some construction guys come out and start building a table in front of the regular announce table. They don’t know why they’re doing it but apparently that’s their assignment.
Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Val Venis
This is because Venis, the champion, pinned Road Dogg in a tag match on Heat. Trust me: that’s far from the most backwards thing tonight. Road Dogg says he’ll win and become the Intercontinental Champion of the world. Dogg misses a charges into the corner to start and Val pounds away. A spinebuster gets two for the champion as do some elbows. Apparently Venis has guaranteed a win in three minutes.
There’s a powerslam to the Dogg but the Money Shot misses. Dogg starts pounding away and hits the shaky knee drop and a pumphandle slam for two. The construction guys are still working and have a power saw going. A snap suplex gets two for Val but Roadie catches him in a DDT for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note and I really have no idea why the title change happened. Val wasn’t the best champion ever but he had a feud going on for the title with three other guys, but now Road Dogg is champion. Nothing to see here as the main focus was on the carpenters at ringside.
Rock tells Big Show he can win the tag match by himself.
DX celebrates Road Dogg’s new title in the back. Billy apparently wants a shot.
Here’s Shane to say that beating X-Pac at Wrestlemania will be as easy as 1-2-3. Kid. Eh point for a funny line. Anyway, right now he’s going to challenge the Legion of Doom to a handicap match……and it’s Patterson and Brisco in LOD attire.
Shane McMahon vs. Legion of Doom
Vince is on commentary. This is exactly what you would expect as Shane destroys the “LOD”. Brisco is Hawk in case you were wondering. Both guys get Bronco Busters as X-Pac is watching in the back. Shane hits them both with the European Title and gets a double pin. This was a long joke, not a match.
As the McMahons leave, Undertaker’s voice comes over the speakers and we get a shot of apparently Vince’s house. Taker says a woman is coming home soon. The Ministry is at Vince’s house and apparently they’re trying to get in.
Vince calls his security company but they’re not at the house yet.
Cue JR and Steve Williams. Apparently JR is going to do his own commentary and the carpenters were building him his own announce table. Yes, this is what we’ve spent 20 minutes setting up. The table says JR is Raw.
Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart vs. Public Enemy
Earlier today the challengers said they don’t want anything handed to them. It’s a big brawl to start and Rocco almost immediately tries to put Jarrett through a table. We hear about people being annoyed at where Public Enemy used to work (both ECW and WCW) as Owen hammers away on Rocco. The champions (Jarrett and Hart of course) split Rocco’s legs before it’s back to Hart to pound away in the corner. Rocco avoids a charge into the corner and it’s hot tag to Johnny. He cleans house and there’s a guitar shot, leading to the pin for Jarrett. This was like 90 seconds.
JR thanks the fans for their support as Jerry and Cole talk about the match.
The cops won’t go to Vince’s house because they think it’s a publicity stunt.
Post break Vince is upset because no one will answer. Shane offers to call his friends to go help but there’s a phone call from Undertaker. Apparently Undertaker asks if Vince knows where his family is.
A steel cage is lowered.
Wrestlemania is coming.
Vince has a meeting with the Corporation.
Mankind is sitting inside a shark’s mouth (literally) and says he’s going to give Mr. Socko a bath with Paul Wight’s saliva.
Mideon vs. Big Bossman
This is inside a cage and Mideon is here all alone tonight. Apparently this is a Hard Time cage match, whatever that means. You win by escape only and Boss Man dominates Mideon to start. A splash in the corner puts Mideon down and Boss Man throws him face first into the cage. Boss Man pulls out a chain and blasts Mideon in the face for good measure. Here’s the rest of the Corporation as the cage door is open. The beatdown is on and the match is again thrown out after about two minutes.
Vince talks to Undertaker, saying that if Undertaker doesn’t leave Vince’s home, Mideon will be destroyed. We cut to a shot of Vince’s house where Taker says his men exist to die for him. Taker says he’s going to do what he has to do and a car pulls up. The feed cuts out and we go to a commercial.
Post break Vince and company are panicking while trying to get someone on the phone.
Now, let’s go to the Playboy Mansion with Lawler getting a tour. If you can’t figure out what’s going on here, you’re in the wrong review. The acting on this is worse than almost anything else I can remember in WWE. The King is thrown out of course.
Here’s Sable to show us the entire Playboy spread. I’m sure. She’s basically in S&M gear here and shows us the pictures. They’re censored of course, making this rather pointless. If the fans want to see the uncensored ones, they have to pay. Anyway, this brings out Tori who now has entrance music. She insists she’s as good as Sable and won’t stand in the shadow any longer. Tori offers to show everything she has. Her voice sounds like it’s coming from a machine. A challenge is made and accepted for Wrestlemania. Tori strips to some very large underwear.
Cops arrive at Vince’s house and look around to see if there’s anything to Vince’s claims.
We go from that to a video on how tough things are on the mean streets of Greenwich, Connecticut, featuring the Mean Street Posse.
Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn vs. Hardcore Holly
Gunn is challenging of course. It’s a brawl to start and odds are that’s what we’re going to see for awhile here. Gunn is sent to the floor and Holly pulls out a garbage can for a hard shot to the head. Billy comes back with a whip into the steps for two but a piledriver on the floor is blocked, as it always is. They head inside with Billy breaking a broomstick over Holly’s back. A shot to the throat gets two on Holly and it’s chair time.
Holly comes back with a facejam onto the chair and a clothesline to put Gunn on the outside. Gunn tries a comeback but walks into a drink to the head as we go back inside. A chair to Billy’s head gets two but Holly is thrown onto JR’s table, apparently knocking the signal out. Cole and Jerry can still talk though and they get to call Billy hitting a Fameasser onto the chair for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. So yeah, Russo’s BRILLIANT conclusion to two simultaneous midcard title feuds is to swap the champions out for each other. Gunn would defend the Hardcore Title in a three way at Mania and Road Dogg would be in the fourway. The problem is none of those challengers have any issues with either respective champion, so the matches wound up being worthless. But hey, it’s a SWERVE you see? Who needs logical storytelling when you can have SWERVES?
Vince is told the cops left but gets a call from Undertaker, saying that he’s going to be the father that Vince never could be, or maybe he could just torture her. Who this “her” is hasn’t been revealed yet. Taker’s symbol is burning on Vince’s lawn.
Here’s HHH with something to say. Apparently Chyna has a partially burned retina. HHH is mad that it was his eye that Kane was shooting for, so get out here right now for a burning. Cue Kane and the brawl is on in the aisle. As they fight at ringside, here comes Vince with his head hanging down. Vince wants Kane to try to talk to Undertaker (Vince’s voice is mic’d here but his hands are empty) but HHH won’t let Kane leave. Kane shakes his head no…..and unmasks to reveal Undertaker. The lights go out and Taker says he can get Vince anytime anywhere. Kane’s pyro goes off and his music plays to end this stupid segment.
Seriously, what in the world is going on here? Presumably Undertaker wasn’t ever in Connecticut (remember this show is in California), but we saw him on camera there, as we saw the cop. Even if it does make sense, it’s WAY more complicated than it needs to be, much like this entire angle.
Wrestlemania ad.
The Stooges try to console Vince.
Mankind/Steve Austin vs. Big Show/The Rock
Rock says that he’s going to win at Wrestlemania before we get going here. Mankind gets beaten down before Austin gets here, only to have the Rattlesnake come in and make the save. Austin and Rock get things going with Austin hitting the Thesz Press before he even takes the vest off. Off to Mankind who is punched in the face by the world champion. Mankind comes back with some right hands to the head and the running knee to a seated Rock in the corner.
Back to Austin as Rock is in big trouble. There’s a sleeper by Austin but Rock rams him into the corner for the break. Rock charges into a boot in the corner but rolls to the floor to avoid a Stunner. The champ tries to leave but you know Austin isn’t letting something like that happen. Back in and a bad looking spinebuster gets two on Rock before it’s back to Mankind for his own version of the People’s Elbow. Mankind hits the ropes once too often though, allowing Big Show to kick him in the back of the head. That and a DDT are enough for a two count for Rock.
Off to Big Show for the first time as the fans chant for Austin. Thankfully we don’t have JR on commentary anymore, but it means that Cole and Lawler can talk about how huge a deal that was for Vince. Big Show chokes away with those long legs in the corner as he makes the 6’4 Mankind look tiny. A Russian legsweep puts Mankind down and it’s back to the champion. Austin breaks up a near fall off the People’s Elbow but it’s back to Big Show for more punishment on Mankind.
Show chokes with the ropes as Rock draws Austin in again, allowing for a low blow. Rock brags a bit too much though and gets caught in a double arm DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Austin and Rock freaks. Austin stomps a mudhole in Rock’s chest but has to fight out of a Rock Bottom attempt. Instead it’s a neckbreaker getting two for Austin but everything breaks down. Everyone goes to the floor and the match is thrown out.
Rating: C. Rock vs. Austin is always worth seeing and I can’t complain a bit about putting both big matches from Wrestlemania into a tag match like this. It was a regular main event tag match other than that though so it’s hard to complain here. The match wasn’t anything of note and the ending sucked, but the rest of it wasn’t bad. That’s as back and forth as I can get so we’ll say the rating is right in the middle.
Austin and Rock go through the announce table, which means Big Show isn’t doing his job.
Overall Rating: D. This is Russo when he’s getting WAY too much freedom. I felt like I was watching a low budget horror movie here with some screwball comedy thrown in. The midcard title swap makes NO sense and is as stupid of an idea as they could have had. It makes the matches worthless and throws out weeks of buildup. Then there’s the Undertaker stuff which feels like it’s out of a low budget Halloween ripoff. There was almost nothing good here and it’s hard to imagine we’re two weeks from Wrestlemania.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:
On This Day: May 15, 2005 – Hard Justice 2005: The Phenomenal Champion
Hard Justice 2005
Date: May 15, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
Final PPV in this three show set as we have AJ in the main event as he should have been most of this year. We also have a celebrity guest referee for that main event in the form of MMA legend Tito Ortiz. I can live with celebrities if they’re, you know, actual celebrities. Also on this card we have a twenty man Gauntlet For The Gold for the #1 contendership which should be dull. Let’s get to it.
We open the show with a ten bell salute to Chris Candido who died following a freak accent at the previous PPV. He broke his leg and somehow it messed up the blood flow. I don’t remember it exactly.
The opening video is about how war is human nature.
Team Canada vs. Apollo/Sonny Siaki
Apollo is a Puerto Rican guy I think. This is Williams/Young instead of Roode/Young. Siaki is a Samoan but not related to the famous Samoan family. The Canadians jump them to start but get knocked to the floor just as fast. We officially start with Apollo vs. Williams. Off to Siaki quickly who speeds things up. Neckbreaker gets two on Young. The non-Canadians hit one of the biggest backdrops I’ve ever seen on Young.
D’Amore screams at the announcers about something. That distracts Apollo and the Canadians take over. Elbow gets two for Young. Apollo manages to get in a knee lift which is enough to bring in both Siaki and Williams. Powerslam gets two on Williams. D’Amore hooks the foot of Siaki on a suplex attempt but it only gets two. Apollo spears Young down but he gets caught in a pretty awful looking top rope rana by Williams. With everything falling apart, A-1 (another Canadian) runs in and Jackhammers Siaki so Williams can steal the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine for an opener but the match itself was nothing of note. Apollo and Siaki both looked great but they didn’t have much going for them other than that. Apollo went back to Puerto Rico soon and was a much bigger deal. Siaki wasn’t around much longer, at least not in anything important.
Ortiz, AJ and Jarrett all arrived earlier today.
Matt Bentley/Trinity vs. Chris Sabin/Traci
Tenay calls a mixed tag a very unique match in professional wrestling. Has he never watched Wrestlemania 6? These are two rivalries that were joined into one match. Michael Shane has changed his name back to Matt Bentley again too. The genders can mix here but we start with the girls. Trinity slaps her and it’s time for a chase scene. I think Traci is on the good guys’ team but I really don’t know.
They exchange small packages for about 15 seconds until Traci gets the advantage. Monkey flip puts Trinity down for two. Off to the guys even though I don’t think Sabin was tagged in. Cradle Shock is countered as is Bentley’s superkick. Trinity interferes and Shane suplexes him off the top. Trinity trips Sabin again as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Traci. This might not be the best formulated plan.
Sabin fires off some elbows but Bentley pulls him back down by the hair. After a chinlock by Bentley, Sabin comes back with an elbow and tries a tornado DDT. Bentley escapes that but a BIG enziguri puts Bentley down. Double tags bring in the girls and Traci cleans house. She tries something off the top but Trinity shoves her to the floor. They fight up the ramp and Trinity slams her. The guys have been forgotten it appears. Oh here’s Sabin to clothesline Bentley. Trinity hits a top rope rana on Sabin, drawing a Lita chant. Traci low blows Sabin and Bentley superkicks Trinity. Another one to Sabin gets the pin.
Rating: C-. Not great here and while the ending was surprising, that doesn’t mean I really care about it. Traci and trinity feuded for the better part of eternity and it never really had a definitive conclusion that I remember. This wasn’t bad but it pretty much came and went with whatever the new development was in the story.
Ad for Slammiversary.
Team Canada says they’re back. D’Amore gets in a great jab at the Orlando fans: “You’ve got a Samoan and a Puerto Rican in there against two Canadians and the idiots chant USA.” They plug their chances in the Gauntlet for the Gold tonight. Roode is the first entrant. They see the name of the second entrant and say it’s like sending a one legged man into a butt kicking contest.
Dusty meets with Tito Ortiz and tells him to call things down the line but if he needs to take matters into his own hands, don’t hesitate.
Jeff Hardy isn’t here (legit no show, he was suspended soon after) so Raven says he doesn’t care who his replacement is. He wants to maim someone. Raven knows his opponent but they keep censoring his name.
Raven vs. ???
This is a Clockwork Orange House of Fun match, which means there are a bunch of weapons and one side of a cage. West says the opponent is Sean Waltman before the entrances. So why censor it a few seconds ago? Waltman comes from the other side of the arena to jump Raven from behind. He pulls down a trashcan and knocks Raven to the outside with it. Raven is busted open early.
Waltman uses Raven’s drop toehold into the trashcan but the can is used to break up the Bronco Buster. Out to the floor and Raven digs into the forehead in an attempt to cut Waltman open. He rakes the head across the steel and Waltman is indeed busted. Raven gets a pair of trashcan lids and alternates with shots from both arms. Raven is cut bad. Waltman sends Raven into a can out of desperation.
Raven grabs the ankle (which is a recurring move for him it seems) but Sean escapes and hits the Bronco Buster this time. Out to the floor and it’s table time. Waltman puts him on the table and climbs up onto the post (squeezing between two of the things holding up weapons) and hits a flip dive through Raven through the table. Back in Raven hits a DDT out of nowhere for two. You know for a finisher, that move doesn’t finish all that often.
Raven runs him up the ramp and throws Waltman off of it, sending him through a table. It’s falls count anywhere apparently and Raven gets two. Back at ringside and Raven finds handcuffs, another recurring thing in this company’s early PPV days. He cuffs Waltman to the post and beats him with a kendo stick.
He wants a submission but Waltman says to hit him harder. Dusty comes back and frees Waltman and he can kick the chair that Raven had back into his face. Now he hits the alternating lid shots and beats Raven with the stick. Waltman staple guns Raven’s head but Raven manages to throw him through the cage wall and fall on top for the pin.
Rating: B-. Better brawling match than you would expect here but the big problem was the lack of a feud for this to go off of. That’s not their fault of course as Waltman was a substitute so I’m certainly not going to hold that one against them. Much better match than I was expecting as Waltman proves again that he can go with the smaller guys much better than the large one.
Tito gives AJ some instructions, as in basic rules of the match. They shake hands.
We recap the 3 Live Kru vs. Outlaw feud. Outlaw is Billy Gunn who is apparently trying to break up the Kru. Monty Brown recently turned on DDP so let’s have a tag match. This resulted in a bunch of problems in the Kru, mainly over the possibility that BG is going to bail on the Kru and reform the New Age Outlaws.
Page has a message from BG James, saying he’s not here. Truth pops up and says he’ll be Page’s partner.
Ron Killings/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Monty Brown/Kip James
Page starts with Brown and there’s not much going on in the first minute. Rollup gets one for Page. Nothing has happened in the first minute or so. Well nothing of note that is. Off to Outlaw who wants Killings. Wait is his name Outlaw or Kip James? We’ll go with Kip James. Killings knocks him around and hits a headscissors to send James to the corner. Kip comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam and I think we have our face in peril.
Brown hits a running knee to his back and Killings is in trouble. Back to James who gets two off a running forearm. We hit the chinlock so Page plays cheerleader. Truth hits a leg lariat out of nowhere and makes a diving tag. Discus lariat takes Brown down and another does the same to James. Helicopter Bomb gets two on Brown as James makes the save. DDP and truth keep up the offense until Phi Delta Slam (big fat guys) run in for the beating on Page. DDP Diamond Cuts one and crotches the other before Cutting him off the top. Cutter for James but Brown Pounces him for the pin.
Rating: D+. HOW WAS THAT NOT A DQ??? Two more guys came in and beat up Page but there’s not a DQ in there? I’d love to be a referee just to see how messed up my mind becomes. It must be better than any other drug you could ever have. Not a great match but that’s par for the course with these filler tag matches.
The Naturals say they were shocked by Candido’s death and they owe their titles to him. They don’t want to go into specifics about their feelings though. He taught them how to be a great team and how to be winners.
Tag Titles: The Naturals vs. America’s Most Wanted
The Naturals are one of the most generic looking teams you’ll ever find so I’ll do my best to tell them apart. They’re defending here and have never lost to AMW with the titles on the line. The champs come out with Candido’s signature yellow towel. The fans chant for Candido to start. If the ending wasn’t obvious already, it better be now. Storm starts with I think Chase Stevens (the other is Andy Douglas).
La Majistral gets two for Stevens. Storm controls on the mat with an armbar and it’s off to Harris. Ok so Stevens is the blonde. Got it. Stevens gets two off a facejam on Storm. Middle rope sunset flip gets two for Storm as does a hard kick to the chest. Bulldog gets two for Harris. Harris clotheslines Douglas to the floor and everything breaks down out there. AMW seems to have the advantage.
Never mind as Storm misses a dive and lands on the railing. He manages to counter a whip to send Stevens upside own into the railing. A suplex on the ramp puts Stevens down again. Douglas takes a slingshot into the post and it’s one advantage per team at the moment. Douglas goes shoulder first into the post as does Storm. Now Harris’ shoulder goes into the post. Hopefully they get a cut of the shoulder surgery fees.
A fan holds up a chair for Storm to whip Stevens into. Did I warp back to ECW? Douglas hits Harris in the ribs with a chair but it’s still not a DQ. They haven’t been in the ring for almost five minutes. The Naturals are both in control and Harris is sent back in with Douglas. They’re not legal but who cares? Harris comes out of nowhere with a right hand and a clothesline in the corner.
The Naturals have a two on one advantage now but Storm comes back in for the Eye of the Storm on Stevens. Everyone gets up and we go to the corner for a pretty low level Tower of Doom. The idea of tagging has been completely forgotten here. Catatonic is countered into an FU by Stevens for two. Storm breaks up Natural Disaster and superkicks Stevens. They load up the Death Sentence but Harris gets shoved off the top, allowing Stevens to roll up Storm and put his feet on the ropes for the pin.
Rating: C+. The match was fun but the lack of tagging so early got kind of old. I’ve seen worst though and AMW was always worth looking at. They were starting to slip at this point though and would turn heel soon if my memory serves me right. This was nothing great though and I don’t think anyone cared about the Naturals.
Tito Ortiz beats up an annoying security guard and talks to Jeff. Everything is cool apparently.
We recap the X Title match. Shocker won an Xscape match at Lockdown and then had to win another one to get the shot against Daniels tonight. He says he’ll win the title for Mexico.
X-Division Title: Shocker vs. Christopher Daniels
Feeling out process to start with Daniels having a slight advantage. They head to the apron and Shocker hits a headscissors to take Daniels to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Back in Daniels takes over and hooks a very quick Koji Clutch. Shocker comes back with a lot of chops and some clotheslines. Frog splash gets two.
Daniels plays possum and hits a Downward Spiral to get momentum back again. BME is overshot so he settles for a split legged moonsault which gets two. Shocker hits a low dropkick to the face of Daniels and the champ is in trouble again. Shocker goes up but Daniels nails him and tries a superplex.
That gets countered into a SICK looking gordbuster with Daniels landing straight on his head. Off to an STF but Daniels bites the hand to escape. Now Shocker tries a superplex but Daniels counters into Angel’s Wings off the top to retain. Cool ending and thankfully he didn’t kick out like the announcers implied he might.
Rating: C+. I wasn’t wild on this, again mainly due to a lack of story. This was something that WCW did a lot back in the day: bring in a foreign guy and say he’s one of the best in whatever country then have the champion beat him. It’s cool to bring in international talent but at the same time, those names are just names to people who aren’t familiar with wrestling in that country. Decent match with a cool ending though.
Video on the Gauntlet For The Gold, which is a Royal Rumble style match but in the end the final two have a singles match for the win. Abyss won the final spot (#20) on Impact.
Gauntlet For The Gold
Roode is #1 and the surprise entrant Zach Gowen is #2. Get the joke from earlier now? Roode steals the prosthetic leg. West: “Put it back!” but Gowen comes back with one footed dropkicks and a reverse DDT. Eric Young comes in at #3. The intervals are only a minute long which includes their time coming to the ring. Remember at this point it’s over the top to eliminate people.
Roode gets a pretty evil one legged giant swing on Gowen. Cassidy Riley is #4. Ok now the clock doesn’t start until he gets to the ring. He helps against the Canadians and Gowen hits a leg lariat on Roode. Here’s Skipper at #5 and the clock is under Young rules again. Skipper takes a lariat from Roode but hits a nice moonsault to take him down. The ring is getting a little full now so everyone has something to do.
Shark Boy comes in at #6 to a nice reaction. Thank goodness he’s not Stone Cold yet. He won a match on the preshow to get in. Sharky hits a neckbreaker on Young but Gowen takes him down. Shark Boy bites Gowen hard enough that Gowen goes out. So we have our first elimination. #7 is another Canadian in the form of A-1, the big power guy. He cleans house with clotheslines and stomps on Riley.
#8 is Chris Sabin. In a Matrix style move, he sets for a tornado DDT on Young but with his feet in the air, he kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the chest in a big circle before hitting the DDT. That was cool. Petey Williams is #9 to put the Canadians at full strength. He tries a Destroyer on Sharky but gets backdropped to the apron. Shark Boy goes after him and is eliminated by A-1. Eric puts out Riley to get some people out of the ring.
Sonny Siaki is #10 and he goes after the Canadians. Skipper gets REALLY stupid and tries to walk the ropes. Roode is like boy you’re stupid and clotheslines him out. Lance Hoyt is #11 and he has his own cheering section. Young is easily tossed out by Hoyt and Team Canada is down to three. Sabin can’t get Williams out and Bentley is #12. He superkicks Hoyt but is taken out by Sabin who goes out at the same time. They fight on the floor as the Canadians put out Siaki.
Here’s Jerelle Clark at #13. He’s just an X-Division guy. There are five people in at the moment: Roode, A-1, Williams, Clark and Hoyt. The Canadians help Williams on a Destroyer to put Clark out. Mikey Batts is #14 and he fires off some kicks to take down the Canadians. He’s another X-Division guy. He and Hoyt team up on Canada as The Outlaw Kip James is #15.
A HUGE cobra clutch slam kills Batts and the fans want to see it again. #16 is Trytan but Hoyt hits a big boot before Trytan even gets in. Batts is gone. Trytan is chokeslamming everyone in sight and hits a spinebuster on Hoyt. Ron Killings is #17 and gets powerslammed very quickly. As Trytan poses, all three Canadians team up to throw him out.
Apollo is #18 and he cleans house. He and Kip chop it out but Apollo charges and is low bridged out. BG James is #19 but the Canadians break up the staredown between the Outlaws. Hoyt kicks Roode out but Roode helps A-1 to get rid of Hoyt. The Outlaws team up on Petey and A-1, tossing them both out. Abyss comes in at #20 and knocks both Outlaws out to get us down to the final two.
So it’s Truth vs. Abyss for the shot and it’s a regular one on one match, meaning over the top doesn’t mean anything anymore. Abyss throws him to the floor anyway and tries to hit him with a chair but it’s taken away by the referee. Back inside now and Abyss pounds on Killings in the corner. Truth speeds things up and hits a leg lariat and a headbutt for two. Abyss gets a big boot and brings in the chain but that gets taken away.
Instead he’ll use a chair because the referee takes forever to put the chain in the corner. Truth gets the chair and hits Abyss twice in the head for two. We actually get a ref bump in this match. Is this really needed? Truth checks on him and walks into a chokeslam onto the chair for a very delayed two. Abyss tries to Earthquake down onto the chair onto Killings but Truth crotches him on the chair instead. Not that it matters though as Killings jumps into the Black Hole Slam and it’s over.
Rating: C+. This wasn’t a horrible battle royal and the one minute intervals keep things moving fast enough. I’m not sure how much I like the one on one match at the end but it’s not a terrible idea I guess. Still though, like most non-Rumbles, this wasn’t a very interesting battle royal. Not awful though.
We recap the main event which is based around the idea of AJ being a once in a generation athlete while Jarrett is the old guard. AJ beat Abyss to get this shot. Tito Ortiz is the referee.
NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles
Tito Ortiz is guest referee. Jarrett has been champion almost a year at this point. As is customary in wrestling, the previous title reigns of the challenger are only brushed over. They fight over a lockup to start and Tito breaks things up when they get to the ropes. Feeling out process to start as they’re treating this like a huge match. AJ speeds things up which of course gives him the advantage.
Jarrett slides to the floor which is a good idea for him as it slows the match down a lot. Back in and Jeff throws right hands. Jeff tells Tito that they were forearms. That’s so Memphis and it’s a great way to get heat on you. AJ kicks him down and hits a knee drop for two. Jarrett goes for the knee but can’t do a lot of damage on it as Styles fights back. Jeff kicks the knee out again and hooks the Figure Four.
Tenay talks about how Jeff’s strategy is to go after the leg early. He doesn’t think there will be a submission here but it’s going to slow AJ down for later on. And THAT IS WHAT A COMMENTATOR SHOULD BE DOING!!! Not talking about pigeons, but giving us some insight. That’s not something a lot of people would pick up on so Tenay gave some analysis. Why is that never done anymore?
AJ turns it over but is skeptical about coming off the top due to the bad knee. Instead of a dive he hits a tornado DDT and hits a discus clothesline (that’s a popular move in TNA) to send Jarrett to the floor. AJ jumps to the apron but Jeff takes the knee out again. Ortiz counts but Jeff keeps breaking it up. Tito grabs Jeff by the throat and shoves him to the corner.
They head to the floor again and Jeff gets the guitar. Tito says yeah try it and AJ steals the guitar. Tito won’t let AJ use it either so Styles slams it on the ground to break it. AJ pounds away on Jeff and we go back in. There’s the springboard forearm and a spin kick, followed by the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. AJ tries a rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two.
They trade some counters until AJ gets two off a backslide and small package. AJ tries the Pele but can’t quite get it so it’s more like a knee to Jeff’s face. Stroke is countered so Jeff hits a Styles Clash to Styles for two. AJ fights back and tries one of his own but here’s Monty Brown. He accidentally Pounces Jeff but Tito is throwing Brown out. A second referee comes out but Tito won’t let him count. Jeff hits AJ low and loads up a superplex but Tito pulls him down for the low blow. Jeff shoves Tito and gets knocked out so that the Spiral Tap can give Styles the title.
Rating: B-. It was good but certainly not great. It’s hard not to look at this with hindsight but you kind of have to. AJ would lose the title at the next PPV and wouldn’t win it back for over four years. Jarrett would get the world title back in a few months until Christian debuted and took the title to end the year.
A big celebration ends the show.
Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty solid show with a big moment to end it. There’s nothing bad on here and it would have seemed like it set up AJ’s next challenger (that wouldn’t be Abyss) and there was nothing really bad. It’s no classic or anything, but if you’re looking for an ok TNA PPV to watch, this isn’t a bad choice.
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On This Day: May 14, 1995 – In Your House #1 – Mother’s Day Mayhem: Back When I Sucked At This
Note that this was written over three years ago. I was brand new at this and this would be one of the first thirty or so reviews that I had ever done.
In Your House 1: Mother’s Day Mayhem/Premiere
Date: May 14, 1995
Location: Onondaga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Doc Hendrix
This would be the equivalent of Backlash today as we are just over a month removed from WM 11. This show was actually only 15 dollars and therefore got the highest buyrate of all 28 of the shows. Your big match here is Sid, Shawn’s former bodyguard against Diesel, Shawn’s other former bodyguard and the reigning WWF Champion.
You know, I have never gotten the point in wrestlers having bodyguards. If they’re big time contenders as Shawn was during this time, shouldn’t he be able to take care of himself? Anyway, your other big feud was Bam Bam Bigelow against the Million Dollar Corporation which for some reason was a video exclusive. This was a strange time for the company and the business as a whole as the ratings were weak to put it mildly.
WM 11 had done a lot to get the company in the news again and this was their way to get fans on the fence into the tent. I haven’t seen this show other than maybe once since it aired, so let’s take a look and see if it was as good as it is remembered as. Also, due to the far shorter cards, I’ll only be posting one match and at most two per show.
Standard recap package begins, and I almost forgot: the name for this show came from the idea that the company was actually giving away a house in Orlando to a randomly selected fan. It was actually a really nice house. Cool idea. The set is like a house and the wrestlers come in like they’re coming in through the garage.
Bret Hart vs. Hakushi
Interesting backstory here as Bret had been given an award for being the people’s favorite wrestler, but Jerry Lawler, whom Bret had been feuding on and off with for nearly two years at this time, said that Bret made sure that Japanese votes weren’t counted and called Bret a racist (none of that happened so don’t panic Bret fans).
Bret was then given another award from the Japanese media, but as this was happening, Hakushi attacked him, setting up this match. Hakushi’s manager is named Shinja and he sports a white suit and face paint, making him look sweet.
Bret says that Hakushi is going to break Hakushi’s undefeated streak. He also dedicates this match to his Mother, saying he’s coming for Lawler after this.
Bret looks extra greasy tonight so you know this is a special show. Hakushi has characters written all over his body making him look like a walking menu for some reason. Hendrix’s jokes never made a lot of sense. The fans of course chant USA as we have a Japanese wrestler vs. a Canadian wrestler.
This is Bret at his best: getting beaten up and making his opponents look like a million bucks. Hakushi uses what will later become known as the Bronco Buster in something that is just a tad weird. Hakushi’s style is similar to cruiserweights so at the time, he was amazing. Now he’s still good, but nowhere near as spectacular as he used to be. Crowd is hot as Bret avoids a slingshot splash and makes his comeback.
During his five moves of doom, Bret throws in a random bulldog. Unexpected but it certainly breaks up the monotony. I like that. This keeps going though as it’s being given time and is turning into something good. We even get the Asai Moonsault that is nothing short of sweetness. Crowd is going nuts as they trade a rollup sequence that ends in Bret scoring the pin!
We get a very random fireworks display as Bret celebrates. Fireworks for an opening match, seriously? As Bret leaves the ring he apparently twists his knee. Doc Hendrix has such a fine wrestling mind that not only can he see this before it happens but also in the dark at a terrible camera angle. Remember that knee as it comes into play later in the show.
Rating: B. Solid match here. While not a classic, it had the crowd lit up and was very fast paced. These two had chemistry together and it really was a fun match. Excellent way to get the show going and get the crowd into it.
Oh yeah I forgot: Lawler had an open contract with Bret, meaning he could face him anytime he wanted. Bret had agreed to wrestle twice tonight, but now he has a hurt knee.
The house giveaway is hyped by some female interviewer. They show a fake video of an armored car with a police escort bringing the contest entries in earlier in the day. Surprisingly enough, this woman isn’t very annoying. I don’t know what to say.
Jeff Jarrett/Roadie vs. Razor Ramon
This was supposed to be a tag with 1-2-3 Kid involved but he legitimately hurt his neck, so this is what we got in its place. Jarrett is IC Champion here and Roadie means almost nothing. 1-2-3 Kid is on the phone which is surprising as I’d think it’s past his bedtime. Quick promo from Razor saying it’s always been 2-1 but for the first time it’s an advertised handicap match.
Scratch the quick part as he won’t shut up. Razor is introduced as the opponent of Jarrett and Roadie. Doc says this is the first handicap match on WWF PPV ever. Really? Are you sure about that? I haven’t put much thought into it but that would really surprise me.
The heels try to crowd Razor to start but Roadie goes to the apron. Roadie hasn’t gotten in the ring at this point, as in this is his first match. That being said all he can really do is punch and kick. In other words he’s more or less at the same talent level that he was at during the height of his career.
Fallaway slam takes down Jarrett. Roadie comes in and hits a pretty bad looking clothesline. Again how exactly do you perform a move with authority? And now we stop to dance for no apparent reason. Sunset flip by the incoming Jarrett gets two. The fans get behind Razor but he’s in trouble.
Back to Roadie now who is doing pretty well. Razor makes his comeback and goes for the Edge but gets sent over the top rope and down to the floor. Roadie hits a clothesline from the second rope to the floor to take out Razor. He beats the count back in as this has been mostly one sided.
We pick up the pace and they slam heads into each other. Aww Razor has Kid written on his boot. That’s so disturbing. A weird looking belly to back suplex from Razor as he more or less fell down. And now we hit the chinlock. The heels are dominating here.
Razor manages to take both guys down but Jeff goes after the knee. He escapes though and the Razor’s Edge ends JJ. Vince says Razor has accomplished the impossible. If it’s impossible how did he just do it? Wouldn’t that make it possible? Jarrett goes after the knee again and we have Aldo Montoya of all people come out for the save.
His high levels of suck cause him to get beaten up so a “fan” comes in and makes the save again. This would be one Savio Vega and of course since he’s just a fan he can beat up the Intercontinental Champion. You know, because that’s common.
Rating: C-. While not bad, it’s nothing great. The ending introduced one of the biggest wastes of space in history to the company with Savio Vega debuting. This more or less ended this feud between Jarrett and Razor save for a house show title exchange between the two.
Jarrett left the company about two months later. Not sure what the point is to have Razor pin the champion clean and then do nothing with it.
Lawler wants his match right now, but Jack Tunney (WWF President at the time) won’t allow it.
Video package of Sid’s awesomeness.
KOTR Qualifying Match: Mabel vs. Adam Bomb
And so it began. This was the start of the absolute worst idea in WWF history: pushing Mabel as the company’s top heel. Seriously, what in the world was Vince on when he thought this was a good idea? For those that aren’t familiar with this guy, it’s Big Daddy V, but somehow even less talented and more boring at this time.
Adam Bomb was a weird character who was apparently the product of nuclear experiments gone wrong. Somehow he got WAY over but he was nothing more than a jobber. This guy might get the second biggest pop of the night after only Bret Hart and ahead of Diesel. That’s just a weird thing to hear. This is a squash match but it’s the worst I’ve ever seen.
Here’s your match: Mable jumps Bomb before the bell, Bomb comes back with some explosive (I’ll be here all week) offense and flat out dominates Mabel. It looks like Bomb is squashing him. Mabel lands a spin kick that almost gets high enough to hit Bomb below the belt but Bomb comes back from it.
Mabel catches a cross body and falls on him to pin him, as the commentators talk about how valiant an effort it was by Adam. VALIANT??? He beat the living tar out of Mabel then got hit by one move to lose. How in the world is that valiant?
Rating: F. It’s hard to screw up a squash match and make the guy that is supposed to look dominant look terrible, but if any overrated fat boy can do it, it’s this overrated fat boy. Bomb was decent and got massive pops but instead he gets fed to this monster in a squash. Seriously, how good were the drugs Vince must have been on at this time? This led to Mabel winning the KOTR and getting a world title shot at Summerslam 95, which still just leaves me shaking my head.
Razor Ramon introduces his new friend Savio Vega.
Lawler again wants his match right now but is turned down one more time.
Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns
This is a rematch from WM 11. Not really sure if we’re supposed to buy the Gunns as legit challengers or not, but this is just a step or two above a squash. The Gunns get some decent offense in, but at the end of the day they didn’t stand a chance at winning. It only goes about six minutes with Yoko dropping a leg on one of the members of Rednecks R Us allowing Owen to pin him.
Rating: D+. This was nothing at all and was rather boring. With another 5-10 minutes it could have been ok, but given the short time, it was just bad.
Diesel talks about how he lost his mother last Christmas and says happy Mother’s Day. This is oddly kind of sad. Nash evoking emotion? What am I seeing? He says he’s ready for Sid. He gets a laugh out of me by talking about how Sid says he is the master. Nash says he is the walrus, coo coo ca choo. It was so random and out of left field that it was great. Dang, he used to be very good on the mic. What the heck happened to that?
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Lawler does this weird bit where he claims an attractive woman is his mother. Not sure what the point of this was but it didn’t work. In the back, Bret is asked about his knee. He says it’s not April Fool’s Day, but it’ll do. He limps to the ring but as he gets in he reveals he’s just fine and Lawler is scared to death.
This is about four and a half minutes of Bret beating the tar out of Jerry before Shinja runs out and interferes, allowing Hakushi to knock Bret out and Lawler pins him. Bret and Lawler blew off their feud the next month at KOTR, but Hakushi and Bret went nowhere for some reason.
Rating: C. Bret beating on someone was always fun, but the knee injury thing was kind of a waste if this wasn’t the blow off match. Not bad, but kind of a head scratcher.
They announce the house winner.
WWF Title: Diesel vs. Sid
Backstory: After Mania, Shawn fired Sid who beat up Shawn and Diesel made the save. Shawn and Diesel were scheduled for the rematch here but Shawn was hurt, so this is our main event. Bam Bam Bigelow and the Corporation were involved also but I’ll get to that later. DiBiase is revealed as the man behind all this and is in Sid’s corner. Standard big man match here which means it’s nothing that great.
They beat on each other for awhile with Sid of course getting the advantage. Long story short, both land powerbombs but Diesel kicks out. Sid isn’t going to but Tatanka runs out to cause the DQ after the worse powerbomb of all time. Bigelow makes the save and they pose to close out the PPV.
Rating: C+. It’s ok, but it feels like a glorified Raw match, which I suppose is what it was supposed to be. Not bad at all but there was only so much two guys that had identical styles and the same moveset were going to be able to put together. Not bad, but really needed about another 5 minutes to get something good.
Home Video Dark Matches
We get two this time, which is good because so far, this show isn’t that great. However, for 15 dollars, what more do you want? Also that night there was a match taped for Raw three weeks later where the British Bulldog and Owen Hart went to a draw. Why they did a match for almost three weeks later here I’m really not sure. I can’t find an explanation for it, but ok I guess. This match isn’t on the tape.
Undertaker vs. Kama
This was a moderately big feud at the time as Kama had stolen the urn and melted it down into a really ugly chain that he kept around his neck. This match definitely had a purpose and is a great example of the issue with the two hour card as it certainly deserved a place on the card, but there’s absolutely no place to put it.
Kama is more commonly known as the Godfather/Papa Shango, but in this incarnation he’s known as the Supreme Fighting Machine which would be something like a black Kozlov now I guess. He uses a variety of unimpressive submissions and strikes here as this gimmick becomes harder and harder to take seriously.
There’s almost no drama here at all as we’re all expecting Taker to make his comeback. Yep, look, there it is. Taker is coming back, he’s chokeslamming Kama, he’s Tombstoning him, the lights are blue, Taker is posing, the music is playing. I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. It was so unpredictable!
Rating: C-. It’s ok but nothing more. Very formula based match but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Taker in a match like this is as basic as you’re going to get and it worked pretty well I guess. Kama was just flat out bad though as always.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tatanka
Following the main event, this is academic I suppose. Not much here at all, but it’s pretty good for what it was. About 9-10 minutes with Bigelow’s power helping to balance out the terrible thing that is Tatanka’s offense. It was so generic that it just never got to work right. Bigelow hits a powerbomb kind of thing to win the match.
Rating: C+. Fine for what it was, but not great. These two didn’t work that well together but I’ve seen far worse.
OverallRating: C. Certainly not a bad show and while there’s only one truly good match, for fifteen dollars this was probably worth getting at the time. It’s nothing great now, but it was a very novel idea that really worked in my mind.
A two hour show for half price and you get decent matches? I’d buy it today as I think this would be a great move for WWE. Put shows like Vengeance or the GAB in this format and they instantly go up in value. Not bad, but there were far better versions of it coming.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:
Monday Night Raw – May 13, 2013: Everything Bad About HHH Rolled Into One
Monday Night Raw Date: May 13, 2013
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole. Jerry Lawler
It’s finally the go home show for Extreme Rules and the main attraction of tonight’s show is that HHH and Lesnar will be face to face. You know, because that hasn’t happened far too often already. Other than that we have Jericho vs. Fandango in a dance off which at least should be funny. Oh and maybe Ryback vs. Cena too if we have time between all the Lesnar vs. HHH recaps and replays. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Ryback beating down Cena with a chair.
Lawler is in the ring to host the dance off. We get clips of Fandango vs. Jericho from Wrestlemania with Fandango getting the pin. Apparently there’s a rematch on Sunday. There’s a wood floor on the mat for the guys to dance on. Fandango is dancing with Summer Rae and Jericho has a woman from Dancing with the Stars as his partner.
Lawler insists that this is NOT a popularity contest and you’re supposed to judge based on their skills only. Fandango insists he didn’t lose to Khali because the fans just didn’t know what they were talking about. Also as long as there’s a Chris Jericho, there’s a better man named Fandango.
Jericho talks about all of the contests he’s won in WWE history that didn’t involve wrestling and says he’s winning tonight. Then he’ll win on Sunday as well, and then there’s going to be a song about Jericho dancing all over Fandango’s face. Fandango and Summer go first….or rather they’re about to when Fandango says cut the music. Apparently the fans were being too loud and he can’t focus. They get started and a few seconds in Summer twists her ankle.
The pro dancer goes to look at it as does the trainer but Fandango starts to leave. As Jericho is looking at Summer, Fandango jumps Jericho and beats him down. Fandango beats him down for a good while, whipping Jericho into whatever object he can find. He picks up a piece of the wooden floor and blasts Jericho in the face with it for good measure. To the shock of no one, Summer is fine and walks off.
Tonight it’s Shield vs. Cena/HELL NO in an elimination match.
We see the end of Raw from last week again.
Ryback vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder now has long tights. As the destruction is going on, we get a commercial for the WWE App where Del Rio is having an interview right now. What also is going on right now is a Shell Shock to Ryder for the pin at 1:04. Total dominance.
We get a clip of HHH being attacked by Lesnar last year and breaking his arm. According to Cole, this was “when HHH was COO of the company.” Didn’t the sign on his office last week
say he was still COO?
Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players
Tensai crushes Darren to start but gets kicked in the face by Titus. Cole talks about all the countries watching the show tonight so he doesn’t have to talk about the match. Titus misses a running charge into the corner and it’s off to Brodus to clean house. As Clay knocks Darren down, Titus rolls up Brodus for the pin at 1:38. Replays show that Darren hit Brodus in the throat with his hair pick to allow the pin.
We look at the clip from Smackdown where Swagger gave Ziggler a concussion, meaning the world title match is in jeopardy.
Here’s Teddy to make the announcement about the World Title, but Colter and Swagger come out and say Swagger should be made champion. AJ and Langston come out to argue about Ziggler keeping the title, but Teddy cuts them off. Ziggler won’t be losing the title, and Swagger vs. Del Rio on Sunday is now an I Quit #1 contenders match. Also tonight it’s Langston vs. one of them, with the opponent being decided by a poll on the WWE App.
Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow
Ambrose vs. Kingston for the US Title is official. Damien says he won’t be singing a song tonight because Kofi’s song is foolish. Sandow pounds away to start and hits his rapid fire knees to the chest followed by the Wind-Up Elbow for two. The announcers are of course talking about comic books. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch by Damien but Kofi reverses into one of his own. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the Boom Drop, only to miss the cross body out of the corner. Sandow hits a running flip neckbreaker for two but Kofi pops up and hits Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 2:28.
Here’s Mark Henry with a strap to call out Sheamus and induct him into the Hall of Pain. We get some clips of how this match is set up, including Henry pulling the semi trucks on Smackdown. Henry tells Josh Matthews to put the strap around his wrist before shoving him down. He easily touches all four corners and lets Josh go, saying that he feels very generous.
Sheamus comes out and says Henry isn’t the brightest man in the world. He doesn’t want to get in the ring at first but Henry calls him a coward and that’s enough to get Sheamus to come out. Henry won’t let him in with the strap, but Sheamus pulls one of his own out from under the ring. Sheamus beats on Henry enough to send Henry running off.
We get a clip of Lesnar attacking Vince many months ago.
Trailer for 12 Rounds 2, starring Randy Orton.
We look at a clip of the opening segment again in case you’ve forgotten about it already.
Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton
This is a rematch from Main Event where Orton won. Cesaro pounds away to start and has to be pulled off Orton in the corner. Off to a chinlock for a but but Orton comes back with a kick to the face and the powerslam. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT into a rollup for two, only to stand up and get caught in the RKO for the pin at 3:10.
Rating: D+. Last week Cesaro talked about being the best in the company. Within the next week, he’s been pinned by Orton twice, one of those times being in three minutes and ten seconds. But hey, I’m sure this somehow makes him a bigger star right? This show is REALLY flat tonight but we are getting a lot of matches at least.
The Miz vs. Heath Slater
Feeling out process to start but Miz hits a quick sunset flip and backbreaker for two. Mahal trips up Miz and Slater gets a big boot for two. A neckbreaker gets two for Slater and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Miz comes back with a forearm and a boot to the face as we get ANOTHER commercial for the WWE App. A top rope ax handle puts Slater down but he grabs the rope to avoid the figure four. Slater goes up but gets thrown down onto the rest of his band and injures his knee in the process. Back in and the figure four ends this at 4:14.
Rating: D. I like Miz in general, but this figure four stuff is just nonsense. It doesn’t give him credibility because Flair “gave” him the move and it doesn’t make us care about him any more. He had a good finishing move and won the main event of Wrestlemania with it, but we MUST praise Flair somehow because….I have no idea why we have to pay tribute to him so often actually.
Clip of Alicia Fox and Layla at a cancer walk.
Back in February, HHH beat up Lesnar with a chair. They’re doing the whole history of the feud tonight to show us just how important it’s been.
John Cena/HELL NO vs. Shield
This is elimination rules like a Survivor Series match. The tag champions are defending the titles against Rollins and Reigns in a Texas Tornado match. Ambrose and Kane get things started with Kane pounding Dean into the corner. Bryan comes in with kicks to the chest and a painful looking arm hold. Off to Rollins vs. Cena with John putting on a front facelock as we take a break.
Back with Shield beating on Bryan in the corner as the Shield makes their traditional quick tags to pound away on him. Ambrose stomps away but the bearded one gets up and fires back, hitting a running knee to the ribs and making the tag to Kane. Kane cleans house with clotheslines all around and a sidewalk slam gets two on Ambrose. A DDT gets the same result and there’s the top rope clothesline. He loads up the chokeslam but has to shove Ambrose and Rollins to the floor. Kane follows them out and winds up getting counted out for an elimination.
We take another break and come back with Reigns pounding on Cena in the corner before it’s off to Rollins to take out Cena’s bad leg. Cena finally gets in a shot to the face and dives over for a tag off to Bryan. Daniel immediately hits a suicide dive onto Reigns and a missile dropkick on Rollins for two. Ambrose sneaks up on Bryan and the bulldog driver is enough to put Bryan out, making it 3-1 with Cena in trouble.
John charges right at Ambrose but gets caught by all three. Cena fights them off and gets down to Rollins alone in the ring. The champ initiates his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle, only to have Ambrose break it up. Cena clears away Ambrose and Reigns before hitting the AA to eliminate Rollins. Ambrose charges into the AA but Cena spears him down, although he draws a DQ for shoving the referee. Dean covers him for two as we’re down to one on one. The STF goes on but Rollins and Reigns come in for the DQ at 23:21.
Rating: B-. I was thinking for a minute there that they were going to let Cena beat all three guys in a row but thankfully they didn’t let it happen via submission. At the end of the day though, Cena did beat the Shield via pinfall when it was 3-1 so bet on people complaining about that. Still though, good long match here which is what we needed on this Raw.
Post match the Shield hits the TripleBomb and leaves, allowing Ryback to come out and hit Cena’s leg with a chair.
Video on HHH vs. Ryback from Wrestlemania.
Swagger wins the poll by a wide margin of 65-35.
Big E. Langston vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger pounds away to start but Langston shoves him into the corner with raw power. Jack fires off some right hands and tries for the Patriot Lock, only to be kicked away as we take a break. Back with Langston hitting some backbreakers on Jack for two before Swagger fires off some shots to the ribs.
The Vader Bomb gets two but Langston pops up and runs Swagger over. A superplex puts Swagger down for two more but Jack escapes the Big Ending. Swagger hits a chop block and there’s the Patriot Lock, but Langston makes the rope. Jack is backdropped to the floor but manages to clothesline Langston over the barricade for the countout at 10:00.
Rating: D. Well that happened. Swagger likely would have beaten Ziggler here for the same result because that’s what happens in this feud. The I Quit match likely would have happened had it not been for the MITB cash in and it could be an interesting match, although I can’t picture Swagger winning.
Post match Del Rio runs out but gets put in the Patriot Lock. Ricardo tries to help him but gets kicked in the head, allowing Del Rio to put Swagger in the cross armbreaker for a tap out. Langston breaks it up for absolutely no apparent reason, but Del Rio clears the ring.
Natalya vs. AJ
Kaitlyn and the Bellas are on commentary while Horny and Khali are standing off to the side. Kaitlyn gets another gift as the match is ignored yet again. It’s a Simpsons trivia game or something like that but we have to talk about clothes as AJ is sent to the floor for a hard shot from Natalya. Another one seems to knock her out but after sending AJ back in, she locks in an octopus hold called the Black Widow for the tap out from Natalya at 3:10.
Jericho says he’ll teach Fandango to dance Jericho style on Sunday.
Time for HHH and Lesnar’s showdown, which is the real main event tonight. A cage is lowered for some extra atmosphere. HHH talks about how he’s learned to hate this but he feels at home in the cage. He wants Heyman and Lesnar out here right now, and of course what HHH wants, he gets.
Paul and Brock come out but HHH tells them to shut up. Heyman talks about how they’re not allowed to say hate on WWE programming but Heyman will do it anyway. Paul talks about how HHH is going to have to lose in the cage and face everyone after it whether he likes it or not. HHH again says bring it on but apparently Brock doesn’t fight for free.
That’s fine with HHH because he’s figured out why Lesnar won’t fight. See, HHH has done the unthinkable and beat Brock while knocking him out. I guess Extreme Rules from last year is erased from history. He talks directly to Brock and says bring it on. Lesnar walks to the ring with Heyman saying don’t do it. Lesnar slowly climbs the steps, puts one leg in the ring, and actually gets inside. As is usually the case, HHH is more than capable of fighting Lesnar one on one and sends him flying through the door while looking like it’s not a problem at all. Oh and Brock looks scared.
Overall Rating: D+. This show was ALL about HHH vs. Lesnar. Yeah a few other things got some time, but it was all revolving around the one underlying theme of HHH vs. Lesnar. This feud has been every bad thing about HHH rolled into one: the matches aren’t as good as they’re made out to be, his stories dominate everything else, and they go on WAY too long. At the end of the day, people just do not care about seeing these two fight anymore. It should have been a one off match at Summerslam with HHH going away for months and never mentioning Brock again.
Instead it’s gone on EIGHT MORE MONTHS and yeah, Lesnar will likely win on Sunday, but the loss will wind up being all about HHH and Lesnar will be none better off as a result. But hey, HHH gets to headline another show right? Lesnar could have feuded with ANYBODY else in the company and given them something out of it, but instead HHH needed to occupy a year of his time.
As for the rest of the show….it wasn’t easy. The problem on this show anymore is that WWE is so obsessed with everything they can put around their product (the App, the charity stuff, videos, unfunny commentary, celebrities etc) that they ignore the in ring action and the stories. Shield is the only interesting thing right now, as Ryback vs. Cena is feeling more and more worthless every second they’re together because Cena isn’t losing the title to him, period. This show felt way too long and it was mainly because of the HHH vs. Lesnar overkill.
Results
Ryback b. Zack Ryder – Shell Shock
Prime Time Players b. Tons of Funk – Rollup to Clay
Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow – Trouble in Paradise
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO
John Cena/HELL NO b. Shield – Cena last eliminated Ambrose via DQ when Reigns and Rollins interfered
Jack Swagger b. Big E. Langston via countout
AJ b. Natalya – Black Widow
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:
Ziggler Out Of Extreme Rules Due To Concussion
Instead it’s going to be…..Del Rio vs. Swagger in a #1 contenders I Quit match. You can’t mess with those concussions so I have zero issue with this.
On This Day: May 13, 2007 – Sacrifice 2007: Later NWA. No One Misses You.
Sacrifice 2007
Date: May 13, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
This is a very interesting show and it’s a pretty important show in company history. The NWA has basically thrown TNA out because the NWA is really stupid and thinks those three letters are enough to carry them. Therefore, the titles aren’t officially the NWA world/tag titles anymore and I don’t think there are physical belts. The NWA bailed because they’re stupid, so the main event is for the world title with Christian vs. Sting vs. Angle. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about how we praise wrestlers like gods even though they’re just humans. They have drive though which is why they’re better than us.
All of the title matches are in triple threat matches tonight. Just what I wanted.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal
Sabin is champion. Sonjay is jealous because Lethal has been getting the attention when they’re both around Nash. The fans like Lethal. Sabin immediately gets psychological on them, dropping to the mat. Dutt goes for the cover and Lethal says not so fast my friend, channeling his inner Corso. They argue for a bit and then the double teaming begins. That doesn’t last long as they keep arguing. The story here is obvious: they both want the title so they can’t work together.
The times they do work together are pretty solid though, including one instance where they throw him over the top rope to the floor, where he bounces off the concrete and into the railing. The two good guys fly around a bit without making any violent contact. Translation: it’s more like a dance recital than a match. Dutt grabs a one armed camel clutch but Sabin runs back in for a seated dropkick to Lethal’s face.
Sabin and Dutt seem to form a bond so they do the same thing that just happened, but Dutt dropkicks Sabin this time. Cute spot. Sabin takes over and makes the faces miss before hitting a headscissors/tornado DDT combo with Lethal taking the storm-themed move. Dutt is sent to the floor and Sabin hammers on Lethal a bit. Dutt breaks that up with a sweet looking reverse 619 to the leg kind of move.
Lethal goes up and hits a top rope double axe to the floor on Sabin. Dutt tops that with a big old Asai Moonsault to the floor. Back in, Sabin can’t get a top rope rana and Dutt half kills Lethal with a middle rope missile dropkick. There’s a new TNA mascot named Stomper, who I think is a crab. I wonder if he’s Mongolian. Dutt tries to take over but Lethal takes him down, only to have Lethal get knocked down by Sabin. Why am I so chatty in this review? I haven’t written this much in less than 15 minutes of a show in I don’t know how long.
Everyone is down now, presumably due to needing a chance to breathe. Dutt speeds things way up and hits a springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Tenay) to Lethal for two. Sabin takes over again and puts them both in the corner with Dutt looking like he’s in a Styles Clash position from Lethal. Lethal’s hair has kind of exploded and you can see where going to the braided hair was the best thing he could have done.
The fans are split between Lethal and Sabin. What’s with the anti-Indian stance of the fans? Sue them for racism!!! Standing enziguri to Sabin, making him look like he’s having a seizure, or that he’s Elvis. Not sure which but either way a superkick puts him down. A release dragon suplex puts Dutt on the floor and the top rope elbow gets two as Dutt makes a late save (he hit Lethal in the ankle. How does that break up a pin?).
Lethal Combination gets two as Dutt dives off the top with the 450 for the save. He can’t pin either guy but he made up for the weak save a minute ago at least. This match is pretty freaking awesome if you couldn’t tell based on what I’m saying. The good guys get in another argument, allowing Sabin to roll up Dutt (I think with tights) for the pin to retain. Lethal would get the belt next month.
Rating: B. Very fun opener here. This wasn’t about being technically sound, but rather about being all over the place and incredibly entertaining, which is exactly what they did here. Dutt vs. Lethal went on for like a year and it never was all that good. Fun match here, although I have a feeling the rest of the show isn’t going to be able to top it, which isn’t good.
Lethal and Dutt brawl post match until Nash comes out for the save. Dutt kicks Nash in the leg and runs.
Roodes doesn’t want to talk about Eric Young. Instead he says Jeff Jarrett is nothing compared to him. Jarrett is going to make Roode tonight.
Nash comes up to the announce table and says he’ll take care of Sonjay on Thursday.
We run down the card to fill some time.
VKM was at a meet and greet earlier today with fans when Basham/Damaja attacked them. Roadie was injured due to getting his head slammed into the floor so tonight it’s a handicap match.
We recap Jarrett vs. Roode. Jarrett hadn’t been around since losing to Sting at Bound For Glory, which was mainly due to his wife being sick, resulting in her death ten days after this show. Jarrett had come back at Lockdown and then was revealed as Eric Young’s friend who was helping Young after he was signed by Roode.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode
Brooks is in a neck brace due to something not important enough to be explained to us. Big ovation for Jarrett. Roode runs up the aisle as the pyro is still going and jumps Jeff before the bell. A piledriver on the floor is of course countered because it would, you know, cripple Jarrett. We get the opening bell and Jeff hammers away and struts. Brooks trips Jarrett up and we head to the floor again.
Jeff is sent into the steps and we hear about how Jeff might be a bit off tonight because this is his first singles match in over six months. Backslide gets two for Jarrett but Roode stops his momentum with a lariat. Roode goes up and jumps into a boot which was an annoying trend he had during this heel run. We look at the mascot again (instead of Brooks who is, you know, not an animal) and Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long.
Roode hooks a bad figure four (doesn’t even deserve to be capitalized) and Jarrett doesn’t really sell it for awhile. Roode tries it again with a Jarrett mimic in there but Jeff rolls him up for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Traci jumps up and down and I lose my train of thought. Jarrett wins a brief slugout and takes over with a low blow which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Roode gets slammed off the top and now Jarrett hooks the Figure Four in what I guess you can call a Flair Double Shot.
Traci grabs the referee (lucky) while Roode taps. Jarrett is a good guy in this match so he lets go of the hold because he’s an idiot. Roode rips a buckle pad off but both guys block shots into the steel. Now Roode is going for the knee for some reason. Oh yeah that alleged figure four earlier. He wraps Jarrett’s leg around the post and brings in a chair. The referee tries to grab it which the referee releases to send it into Roode’s head in a HORRIBLE looking shot. Stroke gets two as Brooks saves, only to get her sent to the back.
The referee takes her to the back for some reason, allowing Roode to hit a handcuff shot to the head for a very delayed two. Roode brings in a guitar but the referee steals it. Stroke is attempted but Roode counters into a fisherman’s suplex attempt which is countered into a Figure Four attempt which is countered into a kick into the steel exposed earlier. That’s enough for the Payoff (fisherman’s) to end it.
Rating: B+. This show is DRILLING it tonight as we get our second awesome match of the night. The ending was full of some awesome back and forth counters and the ending actually played off something earlier in the match. That’s all you can ask for at times and we got a great match out of it. Good stuff again.
Roode sets for a guitar shot but gets caught in the Figure Four again. Traci bounces out to hit Jarrett with the guitar but Young comes in for the save, putting Traci in a Figure Four of his own.
Christian is having a victory party despite not wrestling for about two hours. He still has the NWA Title here. He says all of Team Cage is going to win tonight. Tomko isn’t here yet and Steiner, his partner later, isn’t happy. AJ says he’ll take care of Joe later.
Christopher Daniels vs. Rhyno
There’s no backstory here that I know of. Daniels was channeling Sting or something, complete with mask, and Rhyno is the next victim I believe. All Rhyno to start as he runs over Daniels with power move after power move. Daniels gets up top but jumps into a belly to belly but he avoids the Gore. The fans aren’t sure who they like best here. Daniels misses a baseball slide but Rhyno misses a pescado. Not often you see a horned man fly. Then again it’s not often that you see a horned man.
Daniels sends him into the post to take over even more as we enter the heel dominance portion of our selection this evening. It appears to be the shoulder that’s hurt, so Daniels sends it into the barricade. Daniels works on the arm a lot, which is so evil and satanic of him isn’t it? Rhyno grabs a backbreaker to finally get some relief for his shoulder. Powerslam gets two.
STO gets two for Daniels. Spinebuster gets the same for Rhyno. This isn’t quite as good as the rest of the matches on the show tonight if you couldn’t tell. Daniels grabs a Koji Clutch which is shifted into the smarter cross armbreaker. Rhyno manages to get to a rope before he started thinking of Del Rio and fell asleep. BME misses and Rhyno hits something like a TKO for two. Daniels hammers away on him but Rhyno snaps off a Gore, which the announcers call a shoulder for no apparent reason. It gets two due to a boot on the ropes. Daniels goes to the floor where he picks up a ball bat and whacks Rhyno with it for the pin.
Rating: C. Yeah not as good as the other stuff but still, pretty decent stuff here that could have been a solid TV match which is ok on a PPV I think. The arm work made sense because that was his Gore arm, but I’d have liked the ball bat shot to have been to the arm instead of the head, which looked ridiculous and sounded even worse. Still though, this was fine.
Just to further the eye rolling aspect of the ending, Rhyno is up about 100 seconds after being hit over the head with a baseball bat by a professional athlete. He says he’s going to take Daniels out and goes after him. After a brief chat with the announcers we see Daniels coming back down the ramp with blood covering his face. Rhyno follows a few seconds later with a chair and my goodness he must have hit him hard. There couldn’t be any other possibility like a razor blade or makeup right?
Rhyno sets for a Rhyno Driver onto two chairs but security finally comes in to break it up. Shame too because it would have been awesome looking. West wanted to see the Driver.
We recap VKM vs. Basham/Danaja. VKM wanted Christy Hemme to sleep with them to get ahead and she said no, which set off a fairly long feud, resulting in her bringing in a bunch of teams to face them. It would wind up being the Rock N Rave Infection but until them we’re stuck with the Bashams.
Kip says he’s on his own tonight and that’s cool.
Kip James vs. Basham/Damaja
Damaja starts and Kip fires away quickly, as is common in handicap matches. Fameasser misses and it’s off to Basham. The heels (I think) take over and beat Kip down as Basham hooks a cravate. Kip fights back but walks into a chokebomb (Brain Damage) and a top rope headbutt from Basham ends this.
Rating: D. I guess every show has to have one bad match. This was pretty much nothing as Road Dogg couldn’t be there. To be fair though, it’s not like the match they had the next month was any better at all. This was just a bad match and the walking definition of a popcorn break match. The best match on the show (allegedly) is up next though so I’m cool with that.
Kip gets beaten down again post match until Lance Hoyt finally gets there to make the save.
We recap Storm vs. Harris, which is due to Storm turning heel on Harris and breaking a beer bottle over his eye. The result is a Texas Death Match between a guy from Tennessee and a guy from Kentucky being held in Florida.
Harris says Storm only had to say he wanted to end the team but instead he tried to end Harris’ career with a beer bottle. This has been about revenge and payback. It’s been about revenge before but now it’s about payback.
Chris Harris vs. James Storm
This is a Texas Death Match, which is last man standing but you have to get a pin or submission before the ten count begins. Both guys are in street clothes. In a cool visual, Harris rips up an AMW shirt on his way to the ring. This feels like it’s going to be awesome which is a very good sign. They slug it out in the aisle and Harris has the trademark handcuffs.
They go into the crowd almost immediately and Storm is running away. They’re in the back row of the arena and Storm is almost thrown over the wall in the back. I wonder what’s back there. Maybe it’s where they keep Shark Boy? All Harris so far as they head to the ring. Storm throws a drink in Harris’ face to shift momentum but Storm gets thrown into a wall to changes things right back again.
Harris is in the ring alone and has a beer and a chair. Storm is still over the railing so Harris hits a HUGE dive over the railing to kill Storm dead and gets a pin. Storm is up at 8 though. Harris goes up again but Storm knocks him off and gets his leg tied up in the ropes so that he’s in a Tree of Woe but hanging outside the ropes. Storm cracks him with a chair to the head and Harris is busted.
It’s Table Time as Harris is placed on the top rope. He avoids a hurricanrana and counters a sunset flip (???) into a Sharpshooter of all things. Well it takes out the legs so that makes sense. He can’t get it on so he kicks Storm in the balls. He catapults Storm face first into the bottom of the table, cutting him open on the metal part. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Harris can’t suplex him through the table so Storm kicks him low to balance things out.
Storm hits the Eye of the Storm to put Harris through the table. That looked awesome and it gets an academic pin but only gets nine. Here’s another table brought in by the Cowboy. He falls down trying to get it in though, probably due to blood loss. The table is on the outside but Storm can’t hit another Eye over the top. Harris goes to the apron and gets caught in an Elevated DDT for no cover.
Storm brings in various basic hardcore weapons but as he’s getting in himself, Harris spears him through the ropes to put him through the table. Not exactly Foley vs. Edge but not bad. Back in, Harris picks up a chair and Storm superkicks it into his face for two. Storm is STUNNED. You can’t see Storm’s face. It’s literally a crimson mask. They trade HARD trashcan lid shots and Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) onto a trashcan for two.
Now the match gets taken down a peg because Jackie Freaking Moore has to get involved. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE A JOB??? She isn’t attractive, she’s nothing special in the ring, she’s always getting in the way, and NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HER. And if you say you do, you’re lying. Gail Kim comes out and cuffs her so she can drag her out of here. Both guys have beer bottles and Harris gets a shot to the head of Storm for the pin and the ten count. Perfect way to end it.
Rating: A. GREAT brawl and war here which is exactly what they needed to do. Tenay and West freak out and say how great it is and for once this year, they’re right. This was a blood war and Storm’s face is absolutely scary given how much blood there was on it. Great match and absolutely worth seeing based on the level of violence here.
Sting yells at Daniels about how he doesn’t have this right. Daniels says he has it absolutely right and leaves. Sting yells about Angle and says he’ll win the title tonight.
We get a highlight package of the Death Match.
Jerry Lynn vs. Alex Shelly vs. Senshi vs. Tiger Mask IV
He’s just called Tiger Mask here so we’ll go with that. Two in the ring at a time and we start with Senshi vs. Lynn. It’s one fall to a finish also. Lynn tries a crucifix but Senshi rolls down the back and misses a foot stomp. Lynn hooks an inverted spinning Gory Special and then they hit the mat. Jerry grabs an armbar but Senshi gets into a cross armbreaker on the ropes.
Shelly tags himself in and works on Lynn’s arm to a big reaction. Lynn speeds things up again and takes over on Shelley’s arm. Here’s Tiger Mask and Shelly bails almost immediately. Senshi gets him instead and Tiger Mask takes over. Everybody keeps tagging themselves in so there’s almost no way to keep track of who is legal and what is going on. A standing moonsault gets two for Mask on Shelley.
Everything breaks down and I’m really not even going to try to keep track of it. Lynn’s cradle piledriver is broken up as is the Tiger suplex to Senshi. Lynn hits a sunset flip to something like a Tower of Doom minus the Tower aspect and most of the Doom aspect. Still though, it looked cool and got two. A TKO gets two on Mask and Shelly puts Lynn on the top rope. Senshi dives onto the corner and tries….something that looks like a brainbuster off the top Shelly makes a save. Shelly tries a top rope rana but gets countered into a sunset flip by Lynn for the three count.
Rating: C. It’s fun and flashy but it’s nothing I’m going to want to see again. This is far from what the first one earlier in the night was but they were trying. Also this is a great match to throw out there to give the fans a breather after the big bloodbath we saw with the AMW explosion. It’s not bad but it’s really not my style.
The Guns beat down Lynn post match until Backlund makes the save.
We recap the tag title match. Team 3D beat LAX for the belts and giving them more or less every tag title ever and their 20th title overall.
Tomko says he can’t go over strategy with Steiner because Steiner is nuts and Steiner has right to call him out because he has stuff to do.
Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko vs. LAX
So Tomko and Steiner don’t get along and are here….because I guess, and LAX are the guys Team 3D beat to get the titles. After almost a minute of arguing we get Homicide vs. Steiner to start us off. Power vs. speed obviously and Homicide can only run so long before he gets caught. Ray tags himself in and sneaks up on Steiner for a pretty awesome German release.
Homicide comes back in and hits half a dropkick to both Immortal members. He and Steiner team up to beat on Ray which is about as odd of a pairing as you’ll find this side of Alex Shelly and Abyss. Ray kicks Homicide’s head off and it’s off to D-Von vs. Tomko. D-Von powerslams him down and SuperMex comes in via the slingshot shoulder. A Thesz Press by D-Von gets the fans behind the champions.
And never mind as LAX double teams him right back down to take over again. Steiner comes in and drops the elbow and the push-ups. Ray breaks up the cover and does push-ups of his own in a funny bit. He and Homicide get into it as D-Von keeps getting beaten down, in this case by Hernandez. Henandez does that always cool backflip to the top rope and seemingly botches a top rope splash to D-Von for two. His leg kind of landed on D-Von’s head which has to freaking hurt.
In a smart move, Tomko breaks up the pin and pulls Hernandez, not D-Von, back to his corner so that Tomko can tag himself in and get a piece of the weakened D-Von. Man, when did Tomko get so smart? It doesn’t really work though as D-Von hits a tornado DDT to break the momentum. I see why Tomko rarely used logic. LAX comes in to stop the tag but D-Von rolls under then and tags Bubba in a nice move.
Ray throws Hernandez out and brings Homicide in. Go after the smaller guys I guess. That’s very bullyish of him. Everything breaks down as is customary in these matches. Steiner suplexes D-Von so Hernandez destroys Steiner with a backbreaker. Ray cleans house and What’s Up Homicide? The fans want tables but Hernandez dives over the top to take out D-Von. Steiner and Tomko beat up Homicide but Homicide rolls through a Doomsday Device for two. Tomko and Steiner get into it but beat up Bubba a bit. Double teaming fails though and a 3D from 3D beats Tomko.
Rating: C+. Pretty basic triple threat here but it worked well enough. The Dudleys needed a win to establish themselves (for some reason) so this did that well enough. The Steiner/Tomko issue will be made clear in a bit. Tomko I think would go on to team with AJ and hold the tag titles for about six months after this so he did well enough. Also they would be the TNA Tag Titles here before to long.
Tomko attacks Steiner post match until Rick Steiner comes out for the save. They would team together for like three PPVs in a row against the Dudleys.
Angle is in Sting’s freaky area. He says Sting goes to Wal-Mart before all of his matches to buy facepaint so he can look like Ronald McDonald. What kind of creepy McDonald’s does Angle frequent? Angle says kill the effects, because once you do that, it’s just like Sting: nothing special. He’s a wrestler but Sting is nothing but a cartoon character. When Kurt Angle is calling you a cartoon character, you must be pretty messed up.
We recap AJ vs. Joe. This is another byproduct of Angle vs. Cage, as if they needed a reason to run this match.
AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe
They’re treating this like a brand new match for some reason. I mean they’re not saying they’ve never met before, but they’re acting like this is an unheard of pairing. They exchange early control and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner to rattle Styles. Both guys try to speed things up but AJ misses a charge and goes to the floor where Joe hits the suicide elbow to send AJ into the crowd.
AJ gets knocked into the barricade and complains of a bad arm/elbow. Since AJ is a heel here he’s playing possum and pokes Joe in the eye. Why did they think this guy needed Flair again? Out to the floor again and Joe tries the Ole Kick but AJ gets out of the way. Back inside and AJ hits his drop down into the dropkick spot. That always looks so smooth, probably due to his using it in every match.
Joe grabs an atomic drop but a boot misses and AJ spin kicks him down for two. A release German buys some time for the fat Samoan. They slug it out and speed it up but Joe hits an overhead belly to belly and senton backsplash for two. AJ pulls the front of Joe’s trunks down to ram him into the corner and OH MY GOODNESS MY EYES!!!! I….I think I saw thong. What did I do to AJ to deserve that? I rate his matches well enough!
Springboard forearm looks to give AJ the advantage but the backflip into the reverse DDT fails also. The second attempt works better but it’s only good for two. He can’t hit the Clash and walks into a Death Valley Driver for two. Joe gets sent to the floor and may have messed the knee up. Back inside Joe kicks him in the face but can’t charge at Styles in the corner. AJ loads up the Spiral Tap but Joe was playing some serious possum, which AJ had been doing lately. Styles looks terrified so Joe locks in the Clutch and suplexes him over with it for the pin.
Rating: B-. Definitely one of their weaker matches but still very decent stuff. AJ just doesn’t work as a heel. It’s like trying to fight the Easter Bunny: you can try all you want, but it’s not there at the end of the day. This was very back and forth but was more like Joe getting revenge than being in any danger, which isn’t really all that great. Still though, Joe vs. AJ is always worth taking a look at.
We recap the world title match. This really spun off from Team Cage vs. Team Angle at Lockdown where Christian is kind of ducking Angle but he’s finally getting a shot tonight. Sting is here because….well because he’s Sting and he’s always in the title picture. I think he had lost it to Abyss and Christian won it from him so this is officially Sting’s rematch. Oh ok Jarrett got the fall in Lethal Lockdown and gave the title shot he won to Sting. Christian is playing them against each other.
NWA World Title; Sting vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle
Christian comes in as champion as we’ve already covered. Angle has only been here for awhile so he hasn’t been champion yet, making this a potentially huge night. The fans aren’t sure who they like but Sting seems to be solidly in third place. Christian is sent to the floor for the big showdown. I think the Canadian is the only heel in this. Angle takes over on Sting but goes to the floor. Sting beats on Christian outside and the fans seem more behind Christian than anyone else.
Angle vs. Christian in the ring now. Kurt is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s back to Sting vs. the Canadian. Sting actually hits the big elbow drop after a gorilla press. I don’t think I ever remember seeing that. A Vader Bomb of all things gets two. Angle pops back up and pulls Sting to the floor for an Angle Slam (called a suplex by Tenay) on the ramp. So now it’s Christian vs. Angle as the revolving door style of this match continues.
Sting starts getting back up so Christian hammers him right back down. That’s not very nice and I think he should send him a polite handwritten note of apology. Christian slaps Angle resulting in the American hitting a bunch of Germans on the Canadian. He’s at eight so far. Somehow that only gets two for Angle. As if that wasn’t enough for the champion, Sting puts Christian on the top and Angle runs up for a German to make a Tower of Doom, sending Christian flying.
Angle Slam and Unprettier are both countered so Christian goes up. Sting throws Angle into the ropes to crotch the champ. Christian falls forward and Angle is put in front of him for a Stinger Splash. The Death Drop gets two on Angle as Christian pulls the referee out. Scorpion is countered into the ankle lock but Christian saves.
Scratch the saving part as they’re both put in an ankle lock at the same time. They counter out and Sting hits a Rock Bottom on Christian (that’s a new one) but there’s no referee. Another referee comes out and Sting rolls Christian up. Angle grabs Sting’s ankle though and it’s a pin/tap at the same time.
Rating: B-. Good main event but it ran less than eleven minutes which really hurts it. The ending of course got thrown out for a Dusty Finish because Angle winning the world title had to be done twice right? It set up the King of the Mountain match next month which was better than this but not by much. This desperately needed about five more minutes and it would have been far better.
Overall Rating: A-. I REALLY liked this show and it’s easily one of the best that TNA has ever done. There’s a great match in the Death Match and the only really bad match is the handicap which is understandable. Good stuff although a longer main event and the show not ending in a Dusty Finish would have raised it up even higher. I liked it a lot and it’s probably the top TNA show I can think of. Great show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:
Thought of the Day: My Favorite CM Punk Moment
It’s not one you would expect.Back at Over the Limit 2010, Punk was fighting Rey Mysterio and got cut open. As usual, the match was stopped for a doctor to look at it. The crowd starts to chant BORING, and Punk goes nuts. In just a few seconds he hits about five moves on Mysterio, all faster than you’ll ever see Punk move anywhere else. Punk took offense to the crowd thinking his match was boring because it had to be stopped and he wasn’t going to accept that because it meant he wasn’t doing his job. That’s something so few people take pride in anymore. How many people have you seen in a match with a five minute run time and they just throw on a chinlock for a minute of the match? It’s a cheap way to get through a match and not fair to the people that paid to see you have an entertaining match.
On This Day: May 12, 2012 – ROH Border Wars 2012: I Remember Why I Don’t Watch ROH
Border Wars 2012 Date: May 12, 2012
Location: Ted Reeve Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
The things I do for this series. This is a show that was considered a big deal for ROH at the time and unfortunately for me, it has Davey Richards defending the world title. I don’t know much about ROH from this period due to being bored out of my mind by their product. The main event is the aforementioned title defense against Kevin Steen, who has been terrorizing ROH for months now. Let’s get to it.
We open with Nigel McGuinness and Kevin Kelly in the ring to introduce the show. Nigel, a former world champion, talks about what a big deal it is to win the title. Tonight is Kevin Steen’s only shot at immortality. Kelly talks about some of the other matches and throws us to a video on Rhyno, who apparently is a mercenary working for Truth Martini.
Eddie Edwards vs. Rhyno
Before the match, Truth Martini says that Rhyno is a hired mercenary and the newest member of the House of Truth. We got that from the video we just saw. He’s here to clear the path to the world title for Michael Elgin and Roderick Strong by Goring everyone in his way. The fans are of course split because what would an ROH crowd be without annoying chants from the start of the show?
Edwards starts with a wristlock followed by an armdrag into an armbar as we seem to be in for a long match here. Rhyno powers him into the corner and pounds away before running Edwards over with a shoulder block. Edwards fights out of the corner with some chops and a rana to put Rhyno down, followed by a baseball slide to send Rhyno into the barricade. The cameraman goes down somewhere in there and Eddie is a bit stunned. Rhyno hits a HARD shoulder to the ribs in the corner and Edwards is in big trouble.
McGuinness starts talking about fast moving sperm and thankfully Kevin ignores him. Eddie comes back with a quick enziguri, only to be picked up and throws over the top and out to the floor with a loud THUD. Back in and Rhyno stays on the ribs in a smart move. The audio keeps slipping in and out. Off to a bearhug by Rhyno as at least he’s using psychology here. Rhyno loads up another gorilla press but Edwards escapes out and hooks a quick German suplex to put both guys down.
Eddie fires off some chops and superkicks the leg, followed by something close to a Shining Wizard for a close two. The fans are split again because this is REAL WRESTLING, where you cheer for the heels. Edwards avoids a charge to send Rhyno to the floor before hitting an Asai Moonsault, hurting his ribs again in the process. Back in and Edwards hits a missile dropkick for two but walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Gore is blocked with a dropkick and Truth Martini gets up on the apron. He holds up the Book of Truth (foreign object) in the corner but Rhyno has to stop before hitting it, allowing Edwards to roll him up for the pin.
Rating: C+. Nice basic match here with Edwards selling the ribs…..sometimes. He more or less stopped doing anything with them after they got back inside the ring but at least before that things were going well. Rhyno was his usual self here with nothing out of character for him at all. Then again, that’s probably a good thing for a guy like him. Edwards is still rather uninteresting though.
Post match Rhyno grabs Martini but Truth holds up cash. Rhyno takes the money and teases turning on Martini anyway but walks out.
Another glitch: Kelly seems to throw it to a video on the next match but instead we see the end of the previous match.
Apparently the Young Bucks interfered in a TJ Perkins vs. Mike Mondo match and cost Perkins the win. The All Night Express ran in for the save and we’ve got a six man.
Young Bucks/Mike Mondo vs. All Night Express/TJ Perkins
The Bucks are Nick and Matt Jackson and the Express is Rhett Titus and Kenny King, who as of this writing is TNA X-Division Champion. It’s a melee to start of course until we get down to TJ vs. Mike. Mondo is sent to the floor so here’s I think Nick, only to be caught in a headscissors. These guys are moving around so fast that I can’t keep track of them. King hits a running dropkick on I think Matt for two. Back to Mondo who gets suplexed down by King for no count.
A spinebuster puts Mondo down and King pounds away for a two count. Off to Titus for a running boot to the ribs as Mondo is in trouble early on. Perkins and King get some quick tags for some shots on Mondo but Mike FINALLY pops King in the ribs. Matt comes in and is immediately caught in an armbar before it’s off to Titus again. A running Fameasser puts Matt down and the Express seems to botch a drop toehold into a dropkick double team.
Nick trips up Rhett from the floor and the Bucks double team Titus into a whip into the barricade by Mondo. The Bucks take over on Titus with various double teaming offense, including a top rope dive onto Titus’ back. The heels load up a triple dropkick to a seated Titus. Nick hits, Mondo mostly misses, and Matt never jumped. Mondo hooks a rolling backslide of all things for several near falls and makes a blind tag to Nick, allowing him to break up a backslide by Titus.
Back to Matt who gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl snake eyes from Titus but Mondo breaks up a hot tag attempt to King. Nick and Mike collide in the corner and Matt gets backdropped, allowing for the real hot tag to Kenny. I feel like I’m calling a Spirit Squad match with all these names. King does very little of note and it’s off to Perkins with a top rope cross body to take out both Bucks. A powerbomb gets two on Nick but Mondo drives Titus face first into the mat.
Perkins flips around a lot and kicks Matt in the head, but Matt basically no sells it so the Bucks can hit a double superkick on King. Everyone is down now until Mondo breaks up a springboard attempt by King. Matt powerbombs Rhett into a kick to the head from Nick, allowing Mondo to headscissor Rhett into a top rope splash by Matt for two.
Nick tries a suicide dive which the camera totally misses. Instead he hits a big spinning dive to the floor to take out people we couldn’t make out because of the bad lighting. Rhett clotheslines Matt down, allowing the Express to hit a powerbomb/Blockbuster combo, followed by a 450 from Perkins for the pin.
Rating: C. This was your standard six man spot fest which wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, this same idea has been done WAY better over the years with way more interesting people. The Bucks just aren’t that interesting and never have shown me any reason to care about them at all. Nothing much to see here.
Jay Lethal talks about Tommaso Ciampa stalking him in Fort Lauderdale and costing him a match.
Ciampa says he’ll beat Lethal.
Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa
Ciampa is part of the Embassy, a heel stable. He jumps Lethal to start but gets pulled out to the floor for a brawl before the bell. Lethal pounds away on Ciampa but Tommaso comes back with a hard chop to send him against the railing. Ciampa lowers his knee pad and charges at Jay, only to slam his own knee into the barricade. He shakes the pain off though and sends Lethal into the barricade a few times but the fans chant for Kevin Steen for no apparent reason. This is all still before the bell.
Lethal comes back with a catapult to launch Ciampa face first into the entrance to shift control again. Jay finally heads inside with Ciampa down on the floor but one of the Embassy guys breaks up a suicide dive bid. The distraction lets Ciampa get in a quick to Lethal’s head for a two, a few seconds after the bell finally rings. Tommaso chokes away on the apron before putting on a very modified dragon sleeper.
Ciampa pounds away in the corner including going after Lethal’s eye for a bit. This is slowing way down and it’s not exactly entertaining stuff at this point. Apparently Ciampa is undefeated for like two years coming into this. Jay gets in a shot to the head and they slug it out very slowly. You really shouldn’t be at a last man standing slugout just four minutes into a match.
Lethal takes over and Ciampa is in trouble. Again just four minutes into the match, which is too little for being so tired. Yeah they brawled, so maybe it was ten minutes in total to make them that exhausted. As usual, I don’t care for the psychology in Ring of Honor. Lethal has to beat up the other Embassy guys, allowing for Ciampa to hit a lariat for two. Jay counters a sunset flip into a rollup for two of his own before being caught by a HARD knee to the head for a near fall.
Another knee to the head in the corner puts Lethal down and there goes the knee pad for several more knees to the head. Lethal counters a powerbomb into an Alabama Slam into the corner but again has to deal with the Embassy leader. A small package gets two for Ciampa (I think) and now Lethal is getting fired up. He goes off on Ciampa and hits a handspring into the ropes into a cutter, apparently called Lethal Injection, for two.
Yet another Embassy guy (these are just guys in suits and not important enough to identify properly) interferes but Lethal slugs him down and gets two off a top rope elbow. Ciampa tells Lethal to come at him, so Jay hooks him in a Rock Bottom position and drives him down onto Lethal’s knee in ten straight backbreakers followed by a downward spiral for Ciampa’s first loss.
Rating: C-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s the entirety of my thoughts on the match. Lethal has never been a guy I’ve cared about at all and Ciampa didn’t show me anything of note here. The ending was just stupid with Ciampa telling him to come for him and Lethal just doing the same move over and over again before getting the win. Also the guys being spent just a few minutes into it still doesn’t work for me at all.
Post match Ciampa screams a lot and storms out.
We recap Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm. A now bald Storm saw potential in Bennett but doesn’t like his lack of respect. The audio here is designed to make Storm sound like he’s repeating himself which is really annoying. Bennett beat him back in April so this is the rematch.
Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm
Bennett has his old trainer named Brutal Bob Evans with him but no Maria, as in Maria from WWE who is absolutely gorgeous. The fans immediately chant for her and I can’t say I blame them at all. They shove each other around to start with Lance being pushed into the corner which goes nowhere. Both guys trade strikes with Storm hitting a European uppercut to send Bennett into the corner and down to the mat.
Storm fires off some shoulders into the corner and a running version to the ribs gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which is the most logical move for him at this point. Bennett quickly reverses and sends Storm to the apron and then into the buckle, sending Storm to the floor. Mike throws Storm into the announce table and then the barricade and we head back inside. The fans chant obscenities at Bennett because they can’t handle their countryman getting beaten up. Sore losers.
After sending Storm into the corner it’s off to a bow and arrow hold by Bennett to give the guys a breather. Storm flips out of the hold into a kick to Bennett’s face but gets caught in a backdrop to put him right back down. Back to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back as Bennett keeps things slow. Lance fights back and they slug it out with both guys seemingly spent again after only a few minutes. In a rather impressive display of athleticism, Storm jumps from the mat and up to the top for a back elbow to the face, getting two.
The superkick is blocked and Storm walks into a spinebuster for a close two. Bennett tries a fireman’s carry but Storm slips down to the apron. A springboard clothesline misses though and Mike spears him down for two. Storm tries something out of a fireman’s carry but Bennett comes back with a sit out Rock Bottom called the Box Office Smash for two.
A dragon screw leg whip puts Storm down and flips off the fans (Storm mentioned that metaphorically in his pre-match promo) before putting on Storm’s own Canadian Maple Leaf half crab. Storm reverses into one of his own but Evans pulls Bennett to the floor. Storm hits a big dive to take Mike out before going back inside. With Evans distracting the referee, Mike gets a chair, only to have Storm blast him in the back with it and superkick Bennett down for the pin.
Rating: C+. This is probably the match of the night so far, but that ending brings it down for me. Storm using the chair is completely against what he’s been talking about leading up to the match and it goes against his style in general. Now, superkick the chair into Bennett’s face would have been fine, but it doesn’t feel right for Storm to just use the chair on his own like that.
Storm says he doesn’t know how many more of these he has in him, but if he does it again he’s doing it here in Toronto. The fans tell him he’s still got it and he says he uses it because of fans like the ones here. Storm gives a shout out to his wife who is in the crowd in a nice moment.
Video on Davey Richards vs. Kevin Steen. The idea is that Richards is unbeatable while Steen is insane and wants to hold the company hostage by winning the world title. Steen went on a path of destruction, leading up to his title match here tonight. Kevin begged Davey for a match but Cornette, the ROH boss, said no. Davey eventually begged Cornette for the match until it was set, which is a great heel move.
Finlay says he’s coming for Roderick Strong and the TV Title.
Video on the tag title match. We must be in intermission. The Briscos and Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team have been feuding for awhile and tonight it’s a fight without honor, which I guess means a street fight. Jay Brisco got crotched against the post three times after the match ended.
Another video on Richards vs. Steen, from the night Davey won the title.
The announcers talk about the remaining four matches.
Adam Cole vs. Michael Elgin
No real story here. They’re just both young breakout stars and are having a match because of it. Elgin is part of the House of Truth and a big power guy. A quick hiptoss sends the smaller Cole flying as McGuinness talks about what it means to be in a big match like this. Cole fires off those ROH forearms that seemingly everyone in the company uses, only to be shoved out of the corner with ease. Instead he comes out of the corner with a middle rope dropkick to send Elgin down.
A quick rana puts Elgin down to the floor but Elgin catches Cole’s suicide dive and slams him onto the floor. Back in and Elgin fires off some hard chops followed by some slow stomps down in the corner. Cole comes back with a quick jawbreaker and sends Elgin chest first into the corner. Elgin blocks a German and blasts Cole in the head, followed by an Alabama Slam for two. Off to a bow and arrow hold by Elgin as Martini comes over and talks trash on commentary.
Back up and a quick rollup gets two for Adam but Michael blasts him right in the head to take him back down. They trade forearms as is the ROH custom until Elgin gets caught in a tornado DDT. A top rope splash gets two for Cole but Elgin breaks up another German suplex attempt. Instead it’s Elgin powering Cole up for a big rolling German (Rolling Chaos Theory) for two. A hard shot to Elgin’s head gets two for Adam and there are some quick kicks to the head. Elgin comes back with WICKED clothesline to put Cole on the floor.
Both guys are spent now so Elgin can’t follow up on the downed Cole. He finally goes after Adam but gets caught by a jumping enziguri to stagger the monster. As Adam gets on the apron, Elgin gets on the middle rope and lifts Cole off the apron and up into a falcon arrow (sitout suplex) down onto the mat. People RAVED when Antonio Cesaro did that in May of 2013.
Off to a crossface by Elgin but Adam rolls out, only to be forearmed into the head. Adam pops back up and hits a quick backbreaker for two before going up top. He dives off with a cross body and is caught into a buckle bomb, followed by a helicopter bomb (love that move) for the pin by Elgin.
Rating: B-. This worked pretty well, but again I cannot stand those forearms. They’ve been used in almost every match now and they don’t come off as unique or intense at all. Also, the same problem that plagued Eddie Edwards is true here for Cole: there’s nothing to him. He’s a guy in trunks that had a decent match and nothing more. Elgin at least has his power to make him stand out a bit.
Martini brags about Elgin winning post match. He tells Elgin that his night is over and to go to the back. Martini stays in the ring to brag about how great it is to be him, only to be superkicked by Cole.
Fit Finlay wants to know how deep Roderick Strong can dig inside himself, because he’s going to have to go real deep to keep his TV Title. Simple yet effective.
TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Roderick Strong
Strong is defending if that wasn’t clear. There’s no time limit here for some reason. Finlay takes him into the corner to start but no one gets anywhere. More feeling out commences with no one doing much for the first minute or so. A headlock takes Roderick down as we’re firmly in first gear here. Finlay works over the leg as the crowd is rather quiet here. Strong bails to the floor as there isn’t much to talk about at the moment.
Back in and Strong takes him to the ropes by the arm, only to have Finlay smack him in the chest and put on another leg lock. Off to a chinlock by Finlay as the announcers talk about Finlay’s history in wrestling. They roll to the floor to exchange chops until Strong pokes him in the eye to take over. Finlay knocks him back to the floor for more chopping but Roderick takes over with chops of his own. The announcers will not stop bragging about how awesome Finlay was in his day.
They head back inside for a squeeze of Finlay’s ribs. A dropkick gets two for Strong and he fires off some shoulders into the ribs in the corner. Finlay is thrown back to the floor for more pounding on the ribs before we head inside again. Strong argues with a fan before stomping on the ribs even more. Finlay comes back with some chops out of the corner and pounds away with very basic stomps. Strong snaps off a belly to back suplex for two and is starting to get frustrated.
He loads up the Strong Hold (Boston Crab) and Finlay is in trouble in the middle of the ring. Finlay pretty easily powers out of it and they throw forearms at each other. These are totally different from the other matches because they’re on their knees here. Finlay takes over and hits his fireman’s carry roll followed by the Celtic Cross, which Sheamus uses as White Noise. Finlay goes up top, only to be knocked right back to the floor. Back in and a double knee gutbuster gets two on Finlay. Strong is like screw this and kicks Finlay in the face for the pin to retain.
Rating: C. Again, Strong is just a guy in trunks with a name I likely won’t remember, even though I’ve seen a good bit of his work before. None of these guys are anything memorable and from what I can tell, other than the two main matches there aren’t many stories going on either. Finlay put Strong over well here which is exactly why he was brought in. I’m not sure I get how you can claim that a win over a guy who was awesome twenty years ago, but it was fine for what it was.
Wrestling Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) didn’t like being beaten up by the Briscos. Earlier tonight we saw these two beat up the Briscos so tonight it’s a wild brawl for the Briscos’ tag belts.
The Briscos, the biggest hicks you’ll ever see, say they’ll cross the border and cross the line against Haas and Benjamin tonight.
Tag Titles: Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Brisco Brothers
The Briscos are Mark and Jay and have no relation to Jack and Jerry Briscoe. This is fight without honor, meaning it’s a street fight. It’s also unsanctioned, although it can somehow be for the promotion’s tag titles. There’s no Mark Brisco to start so apparently Jay is going to try to do this on his own. Actually, cue Mark in hockey gear with some stick shots to the back of Haas’ head. The brawl is on as the referee has to get rid of those stupid streamers.
Mark hits Haas in the throat with the hockey stick and the Briscos clean house. With the challengers on the floor and the announcer doing the intros, Mark dives on both guys as the brawl really gets going. Back in and the Briscos double team Benjamin as this has been one sided so far. Charlie pulls Shelton to the floor, only to be caught by a double baseball slide from the champions.
Shelton has a chair thrown onto his back as it’s kind of hard to keep track of the insanity. Back in and Haas gets an exploder suplex for two on Jay before choking him with his shirt. Haas charges at him, only to be caught in a downward spiral right into a chair wedged between the ropes. Shelton comes back in (there aren’t any tags in this) and blasts Jay down, only to have Mark save him from a chair shot. We go back to the floor where Jay catapults Charlie face first into the post as the champions continue to dominate.
Haas is busted open as Mark hits a running swanton off the apron onto Benjamin. An attempt at a second one misses (kind of?) but Mark brings in a wheel from a wheelchair. Jay pounds on Charlie in the ring as Mark goes up, only to be flipped off the top and through a table at ringside. A jawbreaker hits Jay but he comes back with a Death Valley Driver on Shelton. Jay goes up but gets distracted by Haas, allowing Shelton to run up the corner and suplex him down.
Shelton hits a spinebuster off the top for two on Jay as the challengers take over for the first time. Mark tries to come back in with the hockey stick but gets knocked back into the barricade. Charlie and Shelton try to crotch Jay on the post again but Mark makes the save. Mark starts cleaning house and flips Charlie off the top followed by a top rope elbow for two. Jay sends Benjamin to the floor as the fans want tables. Naturally ask and you will receive, as Jay sets one up on the floor.
Jay and Shelton brawl on the apron with Jay loading up something on his hand, only to have Shelton load up a German off the apron. Jay holds on to avoid a nasty case of death, only to hook an electric chair drop to send Jay through the table. Back in the ring Charlie sprays something on a rag and chokes Mark out with it for the pin and titles. It appeared to be ether or something like that.
Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid brawl and pretty easily the match of the night to this point. It’s not a great match or anything like that and the ending came out of nowhere, but it goes along with the no honor thing. This doesn’t come off like a match ending a feud, but then again this isn’t the biggest show of the year or anything so it’s understandable. Good match but that’s about it.
The announcers rant about how the new champions showed no honor in a fight without honor.
We preview the main event which we’ve already covered in detail so far. The production values continue to suck here as the video is drowning out the commentary being done over it.
ROH World Title: Kevin Steen vs. Davey Richards
Steen is challenging and a Canadian, making him the massive favorite. Richards is a rather short guy while Steen is heavy but not exactly fat. Jimmy Jacobs is with Steen while Richards is alone due to a death in the family of Kyle O’Reilly. Steve Corino, who has been an opponent of Steen for months, is on commentary. Not that we can hear him but he’s there. Steen talks trash to start as the fans chant NEXT WORLD CHAMP. He immediately tries his package piledriver, which is kind of like a Pedigree but he hooks the legs and lifts Davey up into a piledriver instead of dropping Richards face first. It’s easily countered though as this isn’t WWE, meaning the finishers actually mean something.
They go to the forearms with Steen being the huge crowd favorite. Richards clotheslines him out to the floor and hits a nice suicide dive to take Steen down again. They head back inside but a distraction by Jacobs allows Steen to DDT Richards as he comes back inside. Steen takes it right back to the floor and sends Davey into the barricade a few times. Richards gets crotched against the post as the referee is considering throwing this out.
Steen takes him back to the apron but gets caught in a t-bone suplex onto the apron. Once that gets two inside, Richards starts firing off the kicks. You knew he couldn’t resist them much longer than that. Now it’s off to a modified version of Konnan’s Tequlia Sunrise, which is a kneeling half crab with Steen’s arm trapped at the same time. Now it’s off to a freaky Figure Four variation with Steen on his face and Richards on his back. More kicks by the champion cause the fans to chant that this is the same stuff he’s always used.
An enziguri knocks Steen out to the floor but he pulls Richards down with him so he can powerbomb Davey onto the apron. It works so well that Steen does it again before throwing Davey back inside. A cannonball roll into the corner gets two for Steen but he’s holding his leg. It slows Steen down as he goes up top, allowing Richards to crotch him. Steen bites Richards to the mat and tries a Swanton, only to land on knees. A hard lariat gets two for Richards and he’s getting frustrated. The fans telling Richards that he can’t beat Steen isn’t helping his self esteem either.
Steen comes back with a superkick (the most popular move in ROH) and a clothesline to put both guys down again. Back up and it’s time for more forearms with Richards taking over, only to be caught in a kind of a Death Valley Driver for two. The Package Piledriver is escaped again so Steen rakes the eyes. Richards goes back to the knee but gets caught in a powerbomb and the Sharpshooter. Davey gets to a rope pretty quickly and dropkicks the bad knee out from under Kevin.
There’s a dragon screw leg whip and Davey wraps the bad leg up in the ropes for a double stomp to the chest. Another double stomp gets two and it’s off to the ankle lock, which is the move that Richards uses to prove that he’s a WRESTLER and not a glorified kickboxer. Steen kicks him off but gets caught in a DR Driver (basically a Pedigree Driver) for two. Davey fires off some rapid fire kicks to the head, meaning like 20 of them. They trade HARD shots to the head before Steen snaps off an F5 for two.
A moonsault connects with Davey but it hurts Kevin’s knee and he can’t immediately cover. The delayed cover gets two but Richards is able to escape the package piledriver when the knee gives out again. A hard kick to Steen’s head gets two for the champion and there’s another big one. Steen sits up and catches another spin kick in an ankle lock on Richards. Davey immediately turns it over and puts on an ankle lock of his own with a grapevine.
Kevin twists and turns enough to be able to turn it into a Sharpshooter of all things but Richards counters into the ankle lock again. Steen crawls over to the corner and pulls the buckle off as Davey pulls him back. Richards screws himself over though as Steen rolls out of the hold, sending Richards face first into the buckle. The package piledriver hits and Steen is the champion.
Rating: B. This was pretty good although it was clear that Steen was going out with the belt from the minute the bell rang. It’s definitely the best match of the night, although I can’t stand all the kicks to the head. Richards throws them WAY too hard and in a post Benoit world, we just do not need that kind of thing in wrestling or anywhere. I still can’t stand Richards but this was pretty solid stuff.
Post match ROH owner Carey Silkin can’t bring himself to hand Steen the belt. Corino and Jacobs get in the ring and hug Steen in an alleged big shock. If we could have heard Corino talk earlier, it might have been shocking but since I have no idea what he said, this means very little.
Overall Rating: C+. Well, that happened. Those are almost my entire thoughts on this show: it happened. Nothing on here made me want to watch any more ROH from this era or going forward and none of the wrestling blew me away. I still have the same issues I’ve always had with it: the same spots in all the matches (forearms etc), the VERY generic characters (someone explain to me what exactly is different between Strong, Cole and Edwards. They’re the same guys in different attire. Oh and Strong is taller.), and the lack of stories other than in the main event.
The show certainly isn’t bad, but it does absolutely nothing for me as a fan. The production looks like an OVW TV episode, which isn’t terrible but when this is supposed to be the third biggest company in the country, I expect to see more than I get from a minor league company that reaches maybe three million people. It’s ROH at the end of the day, which means some people are fanatical about it, but I really don’t get the mass appeal here.
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TNA One Night Only – Jokers Wild: It’s Missing The Wild Part
Jokers Wild Date: May 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
This is the second of the One Night Only shows, meaning that it’s another show taped two months ago and airing now because TNA doesn’t want to do the traditional three hour PPVs every month. The gimmick this month is that we have a bunch of tag matches with random pairings and the winners all go into a gauntlet match with the winner earning $100,000. I don’t get why money isn’t a prize more often in wrestling anymore. Let’s get to it.
The opening video talks about how all of these people are the foundation on which TNA is built. Allegedly this is a NEVER BEFORE SEEN concept, other than all of the other times this has been done over the years with various other endings. In the pure brilliance of TNA, they show us clips of various matches, including one partner turning on another. The idea of a spoiler doesn’t mean much around here does it?
Christy and JB draw names out of a tumbler in the ring to determine the pairings.
James Storm/Christian York vs. Gunner/Crimson
Wow Gunner still has a job? This is kind of an interesting match given that Storm has history with Crimson as Storm ended Crimson’s undefeated streak a year ago. Storm and Crimson get things going here with Crimson using the power game to take over. Storm comes back with a tackle and right hands as Tenay makes WINNING jokes ala Charlie Sheen. A hard clothesline puts Crimson down and it’s off to York who drops a knee for two.
Off to Gunner for the first time in a long time as Tazz makes ball jokes about Christy Hemme. It’s going to be a very long night on commentary. York gets two off a bulldog as we talk about the legendary Murphy. They slug it out for a bit with Gunner taking over, only to be taken down by a kick to the face for two. It’s back to Storm for a wind up poke to the eye before it’s back to York. Christian avoids a rollup but Crimson snaps his neck over the top rope to give Gunner control again.
Now Tenay is talking about walking through Memphis looking for moonshine as the match is ignored for the sake of inside jokes. A high collar suplex puts York down for two and a slingshot suplex gets the same for Gunner. Off to a chinlock by Gunner before Crimson comes in for the same hold. York kicks him away but it’s Gunner breaking up the tag again. Christian kicks him in the head though and it’s hot tag to Storm.
James cleans house and kicks Gunner in the head before getting two off a top rope crossbody. York catapults Gunner into a DDT from Storm for two but Crimson spears Storm down. Storm hits Closing Time on Crimson before York throws Gunner into the Last Call for the pin, advancing Storm and York.
Rating: C. I have a feeling my thoughts on a lot of these matches are going to be the same. This wasn’t bad or anything but the lack of a story is going to bring almost all of these down. Yeah Storm has history with Crimson, but it was a two minute match from a year ago. There’s no reason to watch any of these guys fight tonight other than money, meaning the matches are all going to be judged on in ring work alone. This wasn’t bad, but I can’t imagine them all being this good.
York thanks Storm for being a great partner but reminds Storm that it’s every man for himself in the main event. Storm is just thinking of how much beer a hundred grand can buy.
Jesse Godderz/Mr. Anderson vs. Douglas Williams/Kid Kash
No Tara unfortunately. Anderson comes out like normal to his own music and without the biker gear. Kash and Anderson start things off but Jesse tags in before anything can happen. A quick shoulder sends Godderz into the corner and it’s off to Anderson who might not suck as much. Anderson hits a quick dropkick to put Kash down and it’s back to Jesse for some arm work. He asks for a tag and Anderson isn’t sure if he wants back in or not. The announcers would rather talk about Aces and 8’s rankings and British terminology instead of calling the match.
Williams comes in and gets caught by a hiptoss and backdrop from Anderson. Jesse is jumping up and down to get in the match so it’s off to the rookie for some arm work. He cranks it once and already wants Anderson back in. Since Anderson is getting annoyed he takes more time, allowing Williams to suplex Godderz down. Off to Kash for a release belly to back of his own as the announcers continue to talk about stupid things like the “Pre-Tazz Era” of TNA.
Williams puts a cravate on Jesse for a bit, only to be taken down by a nice leg trip. Godderz still can’t make a tag though as Williams comes in with a clothesline to put him back down for two. Off to Kash again who helps out Williams with a double backdrop as Jesse continues to be picked apart. Back to Williams for a few slams as this gets more and more boring every few seconds. Kash kicks Jesse low and rakes his back a few times as we talk about roulette to keep up the announcers’ trend.
Off to a chinlock by Williams as we talk about gumption, moxie and tomatoes. I know I’m talking about the announcers a lot but it’s by far the most interesting thing in the match so far. Tazz actually says that Aces and 8’s don’t do losses. Jesse sends Kash into the corner but gets kicked in the face and caught with a moonsault out of the corner for two. Godderz is stomped around even more as Tazz talks about getting a furry sidecar on Bully’s bike. The commentary must have been recorded later as Bully wasn’t revealed as part of Aces and 8’s when this was taped.
A clothesline out of the corner takes Williams down and it’s FINALLY off to Anderson to clean house. Anderson hits his rolling fireman’s carry on Williams and loads it up on Kash, only to have Jesse pull Kash down to load up his own finishing move. Anderson kicks Kash down and Mic Checks Godderz before rolling up Kash for the pin.
Rating: D+. Remember what I said about the wrestling being the main thing to go off on this show? In this case it was hindered by Jesse, who is WAY too green to be in there as long as he was. There was a story being told here, but the match was so dull throughout that it didn’t make much of a difference. Anderson looked like a star though.
Bobby Roode says he doesn’t need strategy because he’s a winner in tag matches and single matches.
Crimson and Gunner complain about not being on television lately. Crimson wants to team with Gunner regularly since they’re both war veterans.
Christopher Daniels/Samoa Joe vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rob Van Dam
This should be interesting. Chavo and Daniels get things going and it’s a lengthy feeling out process until Chavo hits a dropkick to put Daniels down. Off to Van Dam for a kick to the face and a standing moonsault for two. Daniels rams RVD into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs, only to have Van Dam roll him up and crank on Daniels’ leg for a bit. Off to Joe vs. Van Dam as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer. Both guys counter everything the other guy throws until Van Dam gets a rollup for two and a standoff.
Chavo comes in and takes over on Daniels by stomping him down in the corner but a single shot allows for the tag off to Joe. Chavo punches Joe down in a rather surprising bit before hitting the slingshot hilo. Daniels cheats from the apron and comes in with more choking. Back to Joe for some headbutts and the enziguri in the corner for two. Back to the ball jokes by the announcers which never were funny in the first place. Off to Daniels for a chinlock as the match slows down a bit.
Chavo fights up with some elbows to the ribs as Tenay and Tazz talk about a party in the Aces and 8’s clubhouse. Back to Joe for the rapid fire punches in the corner followed by a crossface chinlock of his own. Guerrero gets back up but walks into a powerslam for two. Daniels comes in with an elbow drop and puts on what looks like a Tazmission. Chavo finally gets up but both guys try cross bodies and collide in the air.
Daniels drags Chavo back into the corner and Joe pounds him down again. An overhead suplex gets two on Guerrero and we hit the chinlock again. Joe loads up the Muscle Buster but Daniels tags himself in instead. A top rope cross body puts Daniels down and there’s the hot tag off to RVD.
Rob cleans house and hits a running spinwheel kick in the corner followed by Rolling Thunder for two. Everything breaks down and Joe hits a high collar suplex on Guerrero. Van Dam kicks Joe down but Daniels crotches him as he loads up the Five Star. Chavo takes Daniels to the floor, but Joe runs up and hits the Muscle Buster on Van Dam for the pin to advance.
Rating: B-. Definitely the best match of the night so far with all four guys knowing how to work the tag team formula quite well. Joe is the kind of guy that can work face or heel at the drop of a hat so we could easily have a face/heel dynamic. This is also the longest of the tag matches and that’s likely a good thing. Pretty solid match here.
Daniels celebrates like he just won the world title.
Godderz says he was responsible for 80%-90% of the offense and that he needs the money to fund his Hollywood parties. Anderson volunteers to throw everyone else out and let Godderz win tonight. Jesse leaves and Anderson says that’s not happening. Godderz is kind of funny at least.
Robbie E/Zema Ion vs. Bobby Roode/Joseph Park
Time for things to get wacky! Park wants to call the team Law and Order but Roode says no and calls Park Tons of Fun. Roode and Zema get things going as Park grabs the tag rope. Bobby runs over Zema and does the same to Robbie just because he can. Roode cranks on the arm and finally tags in the already sweating Park. Robbie seems to enjoy the prospects of fighting Park but Joseph is fascinated by the spiked hair. Roode: “TAG ME BACK IN YOU MORON!” Robbie tries a cross body but bounces off Park like he’s a wall. Park counters a slam into one of his own and the comedy continues.
Zema finally trips Park up and Robbie kicks away at the knee. Off to Ion with a missile dropkick and a middle rope forearm from Robbie for two. Back to Ion who tries a sunset flip but has to avoid a cannonball from Park. Robbie pounds away even more and the big man is taken down by a double back elbow. Ion comes back in to try a 450 but Park rolls away. He goes the wrong way and takes most of the splash but at least he tried.
Park punches Robbie in the head a few times but hits the middle rope splash for two instead. Ion uses Robbie as a springboard to hit Park in the corner, busting him open. Park snaps and it’s a chokeslam for Ion, a Black Hole Slam for Robbie….and he snaps back into reality. Roode tags himself back in and steals the pin for his team.
Rating: D+. Just a basic comedy tag match which was fine for the most part. The problem with comedy matches is that you can only reach a certain level with them and this match didn’t quite get there. Park is great in the role though and he played it perfectly here. The match was just kind of there though and it felt longer than it should have been.
Roode doesn’t want a hug post match.
Daniels celebrates in the back and offers to buy Joe dinner with the winnings. Joe says only one person can win and he’ll see Daniels out there.
D-Von asks Val if she’s part of the conspiracy to bring down TNA. He says that TNA can do nothing to stop them because this is their year. D-Von offers to give Val a job where he makes it rain.
D-Von/Doc vs. Alex Silva/Hernandez
Well that’s quite a coincidence. D-Von and Silva start things off and after about two minutes of circling each other we get some actual contact. Silva gets pounded down in the corner and D-Von is toying with him. A one footed dropkick staggers D-Von and it’s off to Hernandez to give him a real challenge. Off to Doc for the power vs. power match with both guys getting to show off their strength.
A delayed vertical suplex puts Doc down and it’s off to Silva who is promptly destroyed. D-Von crotches him against the post and it’s off to a chinlock by Doc. Off to D-Von again for a knee drop and a two count as Silva continues to be beaten down. Doc comes in with a legdrop for two and some elbows to the chest. A big splash gets another two as Silva’s destruction continues. D-Von puts on a front facelock but Silva escapes for the tag off to Hernandez. SuperMex cleans house but Alex tags himself back in like an idiot. A missile dropkick gets two on Doc but he gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin to advance.
Rating: D+. So a team that regularly works together is better than a thrown together team with a rookie for a member. It took ten minutes to get that point across? There’s nothing special to see here and if I have to hear about Taz’s sidecar one more time I’m going to lose my mind. The commentary on this show is absolutely horrible and it’s driving me insane.
Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan talk about percentages. I like Scott Steiner’s math a lot better.
Joseph Park talks about how important wins are. Christopher Daniels runs up and says he needs help. Joseph: “I told you she was seventeen!” Daniels offers Park 30% of the $100,000 (“$25,000 isn’t bad!”) for an alliance (“Your back is bigger than mine so I’ll be doing more work.”) but Park says no. He says if he wins, he’ll donate the money to a children’s charity in Chicago.
Matt Morgan/Robbie T vs. Joey Ryan/Al Snow
Wow, you mean people that don’t like each other are teaming together? That’s WACKY BROTHER! Once we were down to just two people left, why was Morgan surprised that Ryan was one of his opponents? Joey tries to run but Snow throws him back in to face Morgan. As Snow is throwing him in though, Ryan makes a quick tag so Snow gets the beating from Terry. Off to Morgan for some stomping of the ribs, which are covered in workout gear instead of wrestling attire.
Snow tries to get in a few shots but Robbie shrugs them off and rips at Al’s face. Tazz spends the whole match ripping into Snow for various reasons. Ryan bails away from a tag attempt as Tenay explains the Gut Check history between Snow and Ryan. Snow finally speeds things up a bit but Terry hooks a neckbreaker to put him right back down. We hit the chinlock for a bit as Terry tries to not screw stuff up. In an odd sequence, Snow catches Terry’s kick to the ribs, then tries a kick of his own which is also caught. He flips Terry off and hits an enziguri (to the shoulder) before making the tag.
Ryan is finally in and is immediately destroyed by Terry who hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two….as Matt Morgan makes the save. Morgan yells at Terry that Ryan is his partner, so Terry throws Ryan to a weakened Snow for a tag. Now Snow tries to get Terry to join up with him against Morgan before smacking Morgan in the face. Matt comes in and Snow is all fired up….and he tags Joey in. Morgan tries to tag in Terry as this completely falls apart. Snow bails from an attempted tag and runs a lap around the ring. Ryan offers to lay down and then jumps Morgan with the weakest forearms ever. The Carbon Footprint kills Ryan dead.
Rating: F. I have no idea what they were going for here, but it didn’t work. The fact that Ryan and Snow’s story was six months ago didn’t help at all here. I’m not sure what the rest of the story was supposed to be but whatever it was, it couldn’t have gone much worse. Absolutely terrible here and the last thing this show needed.
Joseph Park says he’s very tired but it was awesome to team with Roode. He doesn’t remember how they won at all though. Park also has no idea how a gauntlet match works.
Al Snow (in an interview clearly taped before the match as he looks perfectly fine) says he got his revenge on Ryan, which is worth more than the money.
We look back at the six matches to recap things.
Gauntlet Battle Royal
It’s basically a 12 man Royal Rumble meaning you eliminate people by going over the top and the winner get the money. Storm is #1 and Roode is #2. I think there are two minute intervals between entrants here. Roode sends him into the corner to start and pounds away as the announcers make thinly veiled references to the Royal Rumble. Storm comes back with an atomic drop and a backdrop before pounding away in the corner. Roode holds off elimination until D-Von is #3. That would put the intervals at about 90 seconds.
Storm gets double teamed for the entire time as Doc is #4. Seriously, there was nothing to talk about in that whole stretch. The bikers beat on the former Beer Money as Tazz asks what kind of a roller coaster he is. Storm gets up a boot in the corner and D-Von is in trouble. A double suplex puts Doc down and a double clothesline puts him out. D-Von clotheslines both guys down and Jesse Godderz is #5.
D-Von chokes Storm in the corner as Roode beats on Godderz. Bobby tries to put Storm out but Jesse the idiot breaks it up. Christian York is #6 as everyone fights each other. D-Von takes turns beating on Godderz and York as Beer Money continues their eternal feud. Joseph Park is #7 and appears to be sweating before he makes it to the ring. Now the intervals are at two minutes.
Roode offers an alliance with Park but kicks him in the ribs instead. Park runs him over before pounding on York in the corner, only to be hit low by D-Von. We’re into your standard battle royal formula here: a lot of stomping and punching near the ropes with the occasional attempted elimination. Mr. Anderson is #8 and still showing no indication of being part of Aces and 8’s here. He chops Jesse and hands him to Park for the easy elimination.
Now Anderson goes after Park for a bit before heading towards D-Von. The camera cuts away and once we go back, it’s Anderson working on Storm. Nice editing there. Park has D-Von in trouble in the corner but he sneaks back in. Daniels is #9 and you know he’s strutting on the way to the ring. He and Roode team up to have Park in trouble but an eye rake keeps the big man safe. Daniels is the only one doing much at the moment as we’re firmly in the battle royal lull.
Samoa Joe is #10 and he goes right for Daniels with rapid fire right hands. Now he’s after D-Von as Tazz freaks out. York and Daniels both survive elimination attempts and not a lot else happens at the moment. Rob Terry is #11 which means Morgan is #12. Terry starts cleaning house with clotheslines and throws out York to clear some space. Daniels joins York on the floor at Terry’s hands before Anderson misses a charge and goes out as well.
Here’s Morgan at #12, giving us a final grouping of Storm, Roode, D-Von, Park, Joe, Terry and Morgan. Terry tells Morgan to bring it on but D-Von and Park break up the staredown. Now it’s Park vs. Morgan and Joseph is out before I can finish typing that. Joe gets a running start at Morgan but is easily tossed out as well to get us down to five. A very low blow from Morgan is enough to eliminate Terry so we’ve got D-Von, Roode, Storm and Morgan.
Speaking of Morgan, he misses the Carbon Footprint and hits the ropes, allowing Storm to forearm him out. With the referee not looking, Knux of Aces and 8’s comes out and pulls Roode through the ropes and out to the floor. Knux tries to cheat again but D-Von hits him by mistake, allowing Storm to toss D-Von. Roode throws Storm over but makes the eternal mistake of not watching him the floor. One Last Call later and Storm wins the money.
Rating: D+. It’s a battle royal. What else do you want me to say here? It followed the same plot that almost all matches like this one follow, meaning it was ok once in awhile but for the most part there’s nothing of note to see. Storm winning is fine, although I’m really getting tired of people going bell to bell in battle royals. We get it: it’s something impressive. Let it rest already.
Lots of beer is consumed and Storm gets a massive check. He says the drinks are on him tonight and sorry about all the losers’ luck.
Apparently the next one of these is Hardcore Justice, which will include a Team 3D reunion and the return of some old hardcore guys, including Homicide, Hardcore Holly (he was never in TNA was he?) and…..Jackie Moore. DANG IT ALL!!!!!
Overall Rating: D+. As is going to be the case with these shows, the overall rating is a bit lighter than on other shows. At the end of the day, these shows are nothing of note and are there to fill in a spot. It was $15 for an HD PPV that runs over two and a half hours, so how much can you really complain? The concept is just ok and the ending is nothing special, but I’ve seen FAR worse PPVs. X-Travaganza was better though, and I can’t see many dropping lower than this one.
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